#copypasta

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

IT SPREADS

[sasha-psychedelia]

The Provably Worst Gun for Home Defense

What is provably the WORST gun for home defense? A .22 single shot rifle is at least small and quick to point. A Barrett M82 is at least going to instantly stop whatever it hits. Even a good old fashioned musket is going to do good damage and won't hurt your ears. No, I wanted to know what the undisputable worst home defense gun in the world is; and I have found it.

This is the .950 JDJ Fat Mac. It is a 100 pound, 5 foot long rifle that shoots a one pound solid brass bullet at 2200 FPS. It is a non-NFA item only because the ATF gave it a sporting exemption as a joke as if anybody is going to hunt with this. This round would be overkill for hunting blue whales.

I would like to paint a picture for you. It's 2AM and you hear a window break in your living room. This is the worst day this could happen, as every single one of your guns was lost in a tragic boating accident this morning. All were lost except for one. You look across your room in dread at your anti-kaiju rifle. You know what you have to do, but you don't know if you have the strength to do it, both literally and figuratively.

Heaving the rifle into your arms, you load a .950 cartridge and begin to waddle towards the door. Your feet make a loud "thud" as you take each 6" step. You know the intruders hear you. You hope they do, for perhaps they will run and spare the world the suffering that is about to befall it.

You try to set the rifle down, but end up clipping your bedroom door and it is immediately knocked off its hinges by this battering ram in your hands. You attempt to round the corner, bonking the muzzle against the doorframe and adjacent wall across the hall at least 4 times.

To your horror, two invaders stand there at the end of the hall.

With a heavy heart, you raise the rifle to your shoulder while making inhuman grunting noises from the strain of attempting some semblance of a shooting position. The burglars simply stare in disbelief, unable to process the situation they are witnessing, as if in a dream.

You cannot aim the rifle, as the last time you fired the gun, it turned your $3000 Leopuld into a kaleidoscope. You simply hold it at an angle that appears correct and fire.

You are immediately knocked to the floor as if hit by a semi truck going 20 MPH. The shot connected with one of the criminals and it erased him from existence. Even the memories of him have been destroyed and you're wondering why you just shot into an empty hallway. The shot continues to travel through at least 4 houses, a car, and a 10 ton boulder before lodging itself 20 feet into a nearby hill, never to be seen again.

It is at this point, you realize you cannot hear.

The surviving burglar can't hear either but he's also on fire from the muzzle blast and is currently vacating your home. You don't care. Your shoulder is dislocated and there is a hole in your brand new AR500 refrigerator.

You're crying now.

The police arrive and, upon seeing the scene, start laughing. You start crying harder.

[plotsignificanthaircut555]

I found my Eva Title Card Generator tab again

[tiredcactus12]

“Galinda is a lesbian and Gelphie is real” I say into the mic. The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice from the back speaks and commands silence in the room.

“She’s right!” someone says. I look for the owner of the voice. It's Ariana Grande.

[daughter-of-sapph0]

👋💰Shalom SLUTS! 👋 Get your tuchus 🍑 ready 🥵 for EIGHT 🎱 LONG 🍆 DAYS 📅 of 🕎HanukkCOCK✡️ to 🎉celebrate🎉 the time 🕍🍷 D-ddy😇 made 1️⃣ drop of CUM💦👅 last for 8️⃣ GAYS 👬🌈😋 Hang up ⛑️ your yarmulke👲🤠 and spin 💞spin💞 SPIN😵‍💫 on daddy's DREIDEL 🍫🪙💦💦 till you get that 🍖✡️KOSHER COCK 😜😫 in your 👼HOLEiest 🕍of HOLES 🕳️😈🙈 send this text💌📩 to 🔟 of your BADDEST 💇‍♀️ ORTHODOX 🧕 BITCHES 💁‍♀️👄 Get 🔟 or more back 🥳🤯 and you'll be a 🕎MENORAH MOMMY💅 Get 5️⃣ back 😚🤪 and you're a 👯👑 jewish-american 🛏️ PILLOW PRINCESS 💗💟 Get 0️⃣ back 🤒🤢 and you'll get SPANKED 🍑💢 like the MACCABAES 💂 spanked ANTIOCHUS IV EPIPHANES👹👑👿 in 💦JerusaCUM🏙️when he wouldn't let them 🙅 celebrate 🙏SUCKot🥺 Chag sameach! 🔯🌠

[faggilyeverafter]

If wasps have a million fans I am one of them. If wasps have ten fans I am one of them. If wasps have only one fan than that is me. If wasps have no fans, I am no longer on this earth. If the world is against wasps, I am against the world.

[postmail]

"average baggins faces 3 of the horrors a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average baggins faces 0 of the horrors a year. horrors frodo and bilbo baggins, who live in in a smial & face over 10,000 horrors each day, are outliers adn should not have been counted

[skeletonmaster69]

dazai osamu stupid idiot motherfucking dazai osamu goddamn fool suicide attempting child abusing rat old bastard shithead idiot detective of the whore biggest clown in the circus laughed out of town cowboy motherfucking dazai osamu

stop pinning me when i talk about dazai osamu i hate him so much why does he have so many fucked up children why did he decide to fuck around and find out judt let them loose is he dead is he a bastard man has such a viseral affect on me not even in the room never smelled this man but i know he has the worlds shittiest piss stink get away from me

if i wanted to get into heaven and god said dazai osamu is waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the soul purpose of getting sent back down

if i have to deal with dazai osamu speaking another word in person on voice in show not only will i close the tab i will delete my bookmark out of spite and have to rewatch the entire series again for the experience of being able to skip all the times when he was mentioned or alive

i do know why i hate him so much he just abuses children and i am just mad because i am angy

he better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if hes just saw my friends dads and wanted to be the fictional version ill go ham

paypal.com/ifuckinghatedazaiosamu

episodes not even about him vaguely mentions what is maybe supposed to be him attempting suicide and i lost it

where the fuck is dazai osamu if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt

ill punch dazai and his frail twink twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until all thats left is one final bandage he kept on him at all times simply spelling no longer human in japanese

im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point

i hope theres a date given for when dazai died or will die so i can make a reminder on my phone

everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the man who had so many fucked up if true child abuse charges

[chwrrydoll]

Give me a strap on and a subby boy, lord I beg 😞

[hellsitegenetics]

*HISS HISS HISS* *RUFF RUFF RUFF * *BARK BARK* EXCUSE ME Teacher, could we PLEASE turn off the lights? The LED artificial lightbulbs are HARMFUL to my NATURAL WOLF EYES Which change color depending on my mood... What do you mean you don’t believe me? They turn YELLOW when I’m happy, RED when I’m REALLY, REALLY angry And GREEN when I’m on the HUNT. SPEAKING of meal time, YOU look like you could suffice for my AFTERNOON Wolf Snack BUT, I will refrain because my mother said if I get sent to the principal’s office ONE MORE TIME for BITING somebody , then SHE will take away my Wii! HOWEVER, I cannot say I’ll do the same for Marissa, The CAT GIRL, who’s been flirting with my crush Jake all week Look at them over there.. laughing *A HÉÊ HËÆ HÂÊ* FLIRTING, like I DON’T EXIST! No happiness that a Wii game can bring me, Will compare to THAT which I WILL FEEL, when JAKE is MINE! *MY EYES TURN GREEN*

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Closest match: Lasioglossum lativentre genome assembly, chromosome: 7 Common name: Furry claspered furrow bee

[kaialone]

[phrysic]

Yeah bela is my favorite character..l'm not really comfortable sharing her with others because she means alote to me. But it's okay if she's ur favorite too! But please don't mention her as ur FAVORITE character 😭

u can obviously talk about her to me!! But just remember she's my one and only ❤️

[sasha-psychedelia]

SCP-████ is a ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ foundation staff ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ D-3819 ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ among us ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ genitals obliterated ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

[bogwatr]

Right after Saw ended, they dropped Adam Stanheigt into a bong and smoked him. SAD. Well, there are other Jigsaw victims

[yonpote]

This is an important message that needs to get out to Dan and Phil

There is a gang war in London. The first gang to get to 100 kills, gets to take over that part of the city. You NEED to be careful, Dan and Phil. You could be at high risk because of your high status. PLEASE be safe, everyone in or around London, and please reblog this to get it to the youtubers in the UK.

I just worry about their safety.

@danielhowell @amazingphil stay safe! <3

[frankendykez]

posting this bc of @clawtistic's shadowban