#copypasta

[plotsignificanthaircut555]

AGAIN

I found my Eva Title Card Generator tab again

[sasha-psychedelia]

The Provably Worst Gun for Home Defense

What is provably the WORST gun for home defense? A .22 single shot rifle is at least small and quick to point. A Barrett M82 is at least going to instantly stop whatever it hits. Even a good old fashioned musket is going to do good damage and won't hurt your ears. No, I wanted to know what the undisputable worst home defense gun in the world is; and I have found it.

This is the .950 JDJ Fat Mac. It is a 100 pound, 5 foot long rifle that shoots a one pound solid brass bullet at 2200 FPS. It is a non-NFA item only because the ATF gave it a sporting exemption as a joke as if anybody is going to hunt with this. This round would be overkill for hunting blue whales.

I would like to paint a picture for you. It's 2AM and you hear a window break in your living room. This is the worst day this could happen, as every single one of your guns was lost in a tragic boating accident this morning. All were lost except for one. You look across your room in dread at your anti-kaiju rifle. You know what you have to do, but you don't know if you have the strength to do it, both literally and figuratively.

Heaving the rifle into your arms, you load a .950 cartridge and begin to waddle towards the door. Your feet make a loud "thud" as you take each 6" step. You know the intruders hear you. You hope they do, for perhaps they will run and spare the world the suffering that is about to befall it.

You try to set the rifle down, but end up clipping your bedroom door and it is immediately knocked off its hinges by this battering ram in your hands. You attempt to round the corner, bonking the muzzle against the doorframe and adjacent wall across the hall at least 4 times.

To your horror, two invaders stand there at the end of the hall.

With a heavy heart, you raise the rifle to your shoulder while making inhuman grunting noises from the strain of attempting some semblance of a shooting position. The burglars simply stare in disbelief, unable to process the situation they are witnessing, as if in a dream.

You cannot aim the rifle, as the last time you fired the gun, it turned your $3000 Leopuld into a kaleidoscope. You simply hold it at an angle that appears correct and fire.

You are immediately knocked to the floor as if hit by a semi truck going 20 MPH. The shot connected with one of the criminals and it erased him from existence. Even the memories of him have been destroyed and you're wondering why you just shot into an empty hallway. The shot continues to travel through at least 4 houses, a car, and a 10 ton boulder before lodging itself 20 feet into a nearby hill, never to be seen again.

It is at this point, you realize you cannot hear.

The surviving burglar can't hear either but he's also on fire from the muzzle blast and is currently vacating your home. You don't care. Your shoulder is dislocated and there is a hole in your brand new AR500 refrigerator.

You're crying now.

The police arrive and, upon seeing the scene, start laughing. You start crying harder.

[faggilyeverafter]

If wasps have a million fans I am one of them. If wasps have ten fans I am one of them. If wasps have only one fan than that is me. If wasps have no fans, I am no longer on this earth. If the world is against wasps, I am against the world.

[virtualgirladv]

1998 and anticipating transfem Link to Zelda, wonder if they ever broke their egg

[postmail]

"average baggins faces 3 of the horrors a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average baggins faces 0 of the horrors a year. horrors frodo and bilbo baggins, who live in in a smial & face over 10,000 horrors each day, are outliers adn should not have been counted

[hellsitegenetics]

*HISS HISS HISS* *RUFF RUFF RUFF * *BARK BARK* EXCUSE ME Teacher, could we PLEASE turn off the lights? The LED artificial lightbulbs are HARMFUL to my NATURAL WOLF EYES Which change color depending on my mood... What do you mean you don’t believe me? They turn YELLOW when I’m happy, RED when I’m REALLY, REALLY angry And GREEN when I’m on the HUNT. SPEAKING of meal time, YOU look like you could suffice for my AFTERNOON Wolf Snack BUT, I will refrain because my mother said if I get sent to the principal’s office ONE MORE TIME for BITING somebody , then SHE will take away my Wii! HOWEVER, I cannot say I’ll do the same for Marissa, The CAT GIRL, who’s been flirting with my crush Jake all week Look at them over there.. laughing *A HÉÊ HËÆ HÂÊ* FLIRTING, like I DON’T EXIST! No happiness that a Wii game can bring me, Will compare to THAT which I WILL FEEL, when JAKE is MINE! *MY EYES TURN GREEN*

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Closest match: Lasioglossum lativentre genome assembly, chromosome: 7 Common name: Furry claspered furrow bee

[kaialone]

[bogwatr]

Right after Saw ended, they dropped Adam Stanheigt into a bong and smoked him. SAD. Well, there are other Jigsaw victims

[mcytblrconfessions]

WHY has GRIAN, who in my opinion is not great at pvp, killed me at least 8 times in PvP games, yet i have NEVER finished ahead of him in buildmart.

[ryro-everyday]

[frankendykez]

posting this bc of @clawtistic's shadowban

[beepboopappreciation]

There will be zero context given for the text lmao. Enjoy?

[sasha-psychedelia]

SCP-████ is a ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ foundation staff ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ D-3819 ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ among us ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ genitals obliterated ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

[good-advice-ganondorf]

[medicsbigburlychest]

"Gynecologist Medic,” I say into the mic.

The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room.

"He's right," they say. I look for the owner of the voice. There in the 2nd row stands: Fritz Motherfucking Ludwig.

(inspired by: https://youtu.be/Z3EgWpmF914?si=Pqtm7rDFLrfN-_dt)

[almost-correct-quotes]

everyone watching seinfeld please remember the main characters are supposed to be aspirational characters to admire and emulate. the point is that they're protagonists you can relate to and idolise, which is what makes it so good.