#and guess what we don’t talk anymore
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vacantgodling · 1 year ago
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one day i’m going to write an article about how yes all of my friends are online and no i don’t really want to meet them in person
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poppyseed799 · 1 year ago
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btw I don’t know if this is a thing anyone is thinking about but I’m not gonna stop drawing Jimmy as a canary. It’s a lovely bird. It’s still something that’s been really important to his series. There’s no reason to drop the canary headcanon just cuz Lizzie fell into the void.
#warning: don’t open up these tags I went on a very heated and rather unrelated rant cuz I’ve been mad#trafficblr#life series#secret life spoilers#secret life smp#jimmy solidarity#also I’m sick of seeing ppl celebrate Jimmy surviving because they hate the canary curse fans like SHUT UP!!! LET US HAVE FUN GOD!!!#LIKE LITERALLY EVEN IF NOBODY CAME UP WITH THE CANARY METAPHOR WE WOULD STILL BE TALKING ABOUT HOW HES ALWAYS DYING OK WE DIDNT MAKE UP THAT#HE DIES FIRST HE JUST DOES. GOD. so what if some people make shakespeare sounding posts about the curse that I don’t understand. we are JUST#having fun and making connections where we don’t need to BECAUSE ITS FUN. NOT CUZ WE DONT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. sorry for the past few#days I’ve been genuinely mad at this fandom’s growing hatred towards its own community.#LIKE IM FINE IF ITS NOT YOUR THING BUT GOD. WE ARENT EVEN DOING ANYTHING 😭😭😭 THE LORE LITERALLY WRITES ITSELF OR IS WRITTEN BY MARTYN LOL#I’ve just been getting SO TILTED man. like ohhh yeah okay ur right i said too much guess I won’t say anything anymore#does anyone else genuinely not know wtf ppl are talking about when they say a certain hc takes over everything about the character#cuz I literally see so much varied Jimmy content yet I’ve seen several ppl complain that ppl ignore aspects of his character in favor of#WHATEVER when I literally don’t see that happening to him. step out of ur circle or something I don’t even HAVE a circle man
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rooolt · 2 days ago
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no harder curse to bear than having a favorite character that the writers stopped caring about two years ago
#Three guesses who I’m talking abt it’s not hard#Like there are interesting bits in s2&3 and 4 is so awesome for him#And then 5&6 is like why are we literally forgetting he just won the all valley#Devastating to see him loose to Kenny devastating to see him suck shit in the sekai taikai#HE BEAT ROBBY!!!! HE IS A GOOD FIGHTER#Like I don’t wanna be like “they nerfed hawk” but like they literally did#I understand why in 6x4 he’s bad bc he’s distracted#What’s the excuse for the entirety of p2#And like they did nothing interesting with the fascinating set up of binary boyfs divorce#Like there were so many interesting conversations they could have had and they just didnt#And why is he only allowed to hang out with Demetri now#Like I like it but where are my Miguel and Eli bestie moments where is any acknowledgment that he and Tory were besties and then enemies an#Are now on the same side#Why give him a stupid background girlfriend if ur not gonna do anything abt it#AND HES NOT EVEN FUN ANYMORE#Like even when he was cartoonishly evil he was fun as hell and Jacob was clearly having the time of his life#Now he just stands there#God actually I wish he stayed evil Jacob literally said he thinks the random change of heart didn’t make sense and I agree#Like no acknowledgment of how ck affected him no acknowledgment of literally anythingn#Making him be besties with the guys who brutally bullied him for years like honestly fuck off#N e ways#Clearly I think abt this a lot#Could talk about this forever and will if prompted
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whirlinglikeaballet · 3 months ago
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#rant time#ok you know what im literally done bc if you’re going to act like my friend only when it’s convenient for you you’re not my friend!!!#like!!! hello??? do you realize how not ok it is to treat people that way??? to make comments that lift them up and make them feel like#they’re your best friend and then ignore them for the next two weeks or whatever??#seriously stop being so fake!!! you should’ve just been a mature person and told me that you don’t want to be my friend anymore instead of#whatever this is#like just tell me if i did something wrong to you and we can move on#because do you understand how terrible it makes me feel every time i’m in a class with you and all of your friends and you act like you’ve#never seen my face in your life??? and i’m just sitting there alone when years ago you would always sit by me when i was sitting alone#because you said you hated when people sat alone#yeah right ok girl i believe you!!!#of course you don’t understand that because you’ve never felt that way#you just ditch your friends every one or two years because there’s new people you like better#well guess what??? if you keep being a crappy friend those people will never be your real friends#like seriously who are you actually friends with??? you’re so fake!!! you constantly talk crap about all of your new friends!!! and then#the second they’re in the room with you you act like they’re your best friend for life#like no they’re not!!! not when you’ve said stuff like how mean and braggy they are and how you don’t want them to get leads over me!!!#well guess what if you want to ditch friends who are actually good people then you’re stuck with mean and braggy people so deal with it#and it’s not just me!!! i feel like you’ve treated everyone like this and it’s so not ok#so anyway i know I’ll say all this and then the next time you try to talk to me i’ll keep acting like it’s fine#but just so you know i think you’re the fakest friend I’ve ever had and i hope someday you get a taste of your own medicine#sorry for the rant lol#lav speaks
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peapod20001 · 5 months ago
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Did sleeping help
No </3
#vent#tsk. isn’t it like. if you hate everything then eat#if you think everyone hates you then sleep#if you hate yourself take a shower?#sooooooooo. uhhhhhhh. didnt. work?#hng. artfight... I was so excited I have so many ideas#but it’s like. everything is triggering me or making me upset or freaked out or sick. idk what to do#I go ‘oh lemme see what my friends have done so far’ and then I see an oc from someone not my friend anymore and I’m like. ougghhh#I feel like such a baby for caring. stupid for being upset still. it’s like it only mattered to me and no one else had to deal with such#crippling anxiety and stress because of it#everyone is getting so much done so fast and I STILL can’t submit the second thing I did. I’m going to lose my head or cry or both or die or#SOMETHING uhhhhhhggggggg and it’s like all my anxieties are circling back around cus it was this time last year shit hit the fan#I have college!! I have no clue what my plans are!! all I’m good for is making fake people and drawing said people!!#I’m such a fucking. stupid.. I wasn’t even supposed to take this last semester off. we just didn’t know what other classes to take or what#to focus on... I’ve been literally free all day every day since December and it’s like I’m STILL not doing anything worthwhile#mmm I’m so alone in this I can’t DEAL well I guess I’ve been ‘dealing’ but I don’t believe thinking about bad situations literally every day#since they’ve happened can be considered as ‘dealing’ with it. I doubt anyone else is thinking about it that hard but I can’t help it#I can’t do a complete cut off from the internet. my only friends are here! what then? then I’m just. some sad sack who doesn’t talk to#anyone? mmm this isn’t a good way to start the day but I can’t NOT think. it’s all I do. my brain is one of the things that makes be I can’t#self labotomize myself into being a chiller person without killing everything that makes me with it#ugh. I’m going to be stuck in this headspace forever. even with apologies and make ups or agreements to stay apart#I’ll still be the one dealing with the negatives and fallout from shitty situations. funny seeing as I still don’t understand how things#even escalated so fast. but whatever. I’m the bad wolf forever. can’t change that
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icelogged · 1 year ago
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*2015 voice* i wish i had the chillness instead i got the mental illness
#evidence of life#tw for mental illnesses major distress illness symptoms that aren’t romanticized (lawl) suicide ableism i guess?#idk just a massive tw for what i’ve said in the notes / don’t read if descriptions of mental illnesses bother you etc#///////////////////////​///////////////////////​///////////////////////​///////////////////////​////////////////////////////////////////////#i literally had to mix rubbing alcohol into my body wash then put it all over my body except my hair to stop myself from committing suicide#i’m so serious if there’s one thing i don’t say with my convoluted levels irony it’s suicide whenever i say kms im 100% serious#suicide is literally a constant ideation for me and i just can’t teehee about it ever i think it’s because it is one of the few ways i feel#that i can take total control full autonomy#anyways isn’t crazy traumatic things will happen and we have to just keep going like im literally on tumblr after [redacted]…#also why is my psychosis so obsessed with break ins these days when i was doing my rubbing alcohol scrub it did the break in scenario#like miss girl literally nobody want us that bad take a seat…#anyways this day started out okayish and now it’s literally *burning building in the background*#i wanna try to at least make it possibly kind of better by going to watch the sunset but no promises kinda itching for more rubbing alcohol#anyways slayyyy respectfully i hope this scares off…who it usually does…#like bro i am not a manic pixie dream girl i am not a smol bean with anxiety not a depressed gloomy muse etc#i am [as described by men who thought that i was just another goth bitch with daddy issues that knew all the right moves to make me into#whatever they needed me to be and or thought i was being hyperbolic when i say i am insane in the head and the pussy (as above so below)]#‘crazy crazy’ ‘fucked up’ ‘not worth it [because i am crazy for real]’ ‘[in need for a dude who one course in psychology and thinks that and#his dick are enough to ‘cure me’ ‘weird’ ‘freak’ ‘looney’ (kinda love that one like so true) etc (bc i don’t want to talk abt this anymore)#edit: my ​temporary icon bothering more than it should rn ughhh bad end all around goodness
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soulphiav · 1 year ago
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i dreamt of her again
#this is so weird#ok story now#i met her on the internet in some facebook grupo abt one direction or something lol and since the first time i interacted with her she#seemed to be a very beautiful person. she was (is) fascinating to me#we started talking and became really close#we used to watch movies together and talk about everything all the time and yes#it was like… since the begging i knew that i was going to start feeling something more for her. it was weird because obviously we don’t even#know each other like in real life lol but i felt like i did… and one day i remember it was Valentine’s Day#she told me that she was in love with me and she wanted to know if it was mutual#and i was like no way this is not happening i remember it took me HOURS to answer to her because in that time#i was very bad. there was a lot going on with me i had depression and i wasn’t eating well and etc and oh#it took me hours to think about it but i told her that it was indeed very mutual#and so she told me that if i wanted to be her girlfriend and i was so happy#but i don’t know. it didn’t worked and it was because of me#and i know that it probably meant nothing to her but it did to me because she was the first woman that i liked#she made me realize who i was. and she made me feel beautiful and seen and she taught me so many things#and i still feel things for her i guess. which is kinda funny cause i don’t really know her#not anymore. we stopped talking to each other (also because of me i stopped talking to her because i felt horrible because i couldn’t make#that happen) and i think that’s what hurts me the most. i will always love her#and i don’t know english btw this is redacted like shit
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kyluxtrashpit · 2 years ago
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Gonna need everybody on here to take one for the team and start reblogging my posts at the same rate people on twitter do cause I’m gonna have a rage-induced heart attack within a month if I can’t find a way to reduce my time over there lmfao
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fingertipsmp3 · 2 years ago
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I really think I only get by at work because I look a bit pathetic all the time and people take pity on me
#people really let me get away with insane levels of incompetence and for what#case in point: the phone rang and my immediate reaction was to say ‘oh god why’ and then pick it up before i could second guess it#i babbled ‘hello; [name of workplace]; ellen lastname speaking?’ and then i was so anxious i didn’t listen to what the person said#i understood enough to realise we were either being auditied OR asked to make an order. both of these options made me panic because girl#i am not even CLOSE to being equipped to do either of those things. two seconds ago i was disinfecting a shelf and now i’m talking#to someone who seems to be welsh. i’m confused#so i said ‘uhhhh i’m going to get a manager sorry. it’ll just be a minute’ and i leave the phone on the hook#coincidentally the retail manager (NOT my manager but A manager) appears with a joiner who he is showing around and explaining some work#that needs to be done; and i hand him the phone and am like ‘i have no idea who’s on the phone but they need to speak to a manager’#he takes it from me and is like ‘[name] here. someone will call you back’ hangs up and looks at me like i’m some horrendous pleb#‘it’s a wholesale frozen food company. tell [assistant catering manager] they called’ and i’m like ‘okay sorry. thanks’#i felt soooooo stupid but nothing bad happened! and the assistant manager said we don’t order from them anymore because their stuff isn’t#good lol. so that was funny#this is why i don’t answer phones girl.#i was expecting it to be someone calling in sick (aka the only thing i was equipped to deal with) that was why i picked up tbh#because like who else has SPECIFICALLY the catering number. why do these people have it. so weird#but yeah. i really think i only got away with this because i’m so deeply pathetic looking lol#like gerry could never get away with this sort of thing#there’s a reason our boss’s boss asked gerry if he knew how to cash up yet and didn’t bother asking me. like. i OBVIOUSLY don’t know#i can’t even be relied upon to answer a phone lmao. i MOP FLOORS WRONG#world’s most incompetent barista over here ✨#personal
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sexyleon · 2 years ago
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I officially completely unplugged myself as much as I can 🙃🙃🙃 I’m way too reliant on my phone and waiting for people to talk to me is super unhealthy and has made me very anxious. I literally turned off ever single possible notification and will purposefully not be responding to messages because I just need time a space to figure out how to navigate myself without validation from others.
#plz no sexyleon#life update basically#I’ll still be using tumblr and stuff and I’ll probably reply to things on here#but I likely wont be responding to direct messages#I just???? I’m too clingy and needy and I feel reliant on the people I talk to for any sort of social interaction to be happy#I gotta figure it out because my mental health is in the shit and I can’t be reliant on others for stability#and I didn’t even really notice that’s what was happening until all my friends were busy on the same day and I really just needed someone#anywyas sorry this is complicated I just needed to vent in the void#also for my mutuals who I talk to all the time this is why I’m afk and I’m sorry I love you very much I just have to figure it out#why am I insane and hoping people try to reach out to me anyways??? just to say they are here if I need anything?? like I do to them????#idk this is why I gotta stop#im the loneliest bitch in the world but I really can’t be anymore I gotta be alone in this bitch but not lonely#or I need to make friends with my loneliness and we can tackle the world together#otherwise im not going to survive#my anxiety is out of the roof and I constantly feel like I’m having heart palpitations#I literally think I’m going to die sometimes#I used to say I’d prefer the anxiety over the depression because I know how to navigate anxiety#well guess what my anxiety evolved like some sort of mega Pokémon and now it’s kicking my ass and I don’t have any idea how to defeat it#sorry for venting
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insanechayne · 3 months ago
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~ ~ ~
#I think I’m lonely in a way I can’t fully describe#I have a partner and friends and family but still often feel alone even when I’m with them#I don’t feel close to anyone at times and I don’t know if it’s outside circumstances or just me#like with my partner being asexual we don’t really do certain activities that I’d like to partake in more often and I can’t hold it against#them for how they do/don’t feel but at the same time I’m craving a physical connection I can’t have and am struggling#doesn’t help that I think about sex all the time nowadays and would really like to be having it and experiencing/exploring certain things#it’s not always easy to take care of oneself that way and still also try to console the ace partner apologizing for who they are#and yeah hall passes are great but only if you have someone to use it on and I’ve never had anyone want to be with me sexually#moving on to bestie I don’t feel my same love and affection being reciprocated and that sucks because I really do anything I can for him#and am like that with pretty much all of mt friends where if they need me for something I’ll be there#but a lot of the time it seems like he really only wants to talk/hang out with me if he’s at work and I can come visit with him#any time I invite him to do something with me outside of work he flakes and so it’s not even worth inviting him anymore#and yeah there’s rare times where he’ll call me a bunch in one day but it’s always just to tell me some gossip from work#not that gossip isn’t fun but still don’t you want to jus talk to me? I always want to just talk to you even if it’s about nothing at all#I’m always the one putting myself out there for him and being there for him when he calls me but I almost never get that same response back#and it’s like I know he has a family so I know he can’t always drop everything for me nor would I ever expect that but just some matching of#my energy would be nice you know? but then I feel guilty/selfish because I feel like I shouldn’t ask that of him when he does have a life#away from work. and I mean I guess I do too but it’s different because partner and I don’t have kids and don’t do much aside from sit around#together or have tea or other things most often done at home. and I don’t live with partner full time yet so I also still have other freedom#outside of just being with them. and other responsibilities I take care of but not on the same level as a wife and kids I guess#idk now I just feel like I’m whining but tbh all this stuff is weighing on me and just making me feel really shitty#I don’t know how to fix these issues without sounding like a selfish bitch and I’m obviously not going to cut anyone off but I don’t really#see any other solutions forming either. so it’s like I guess I’ll just keep my mouth shut and keep feeling bad until the end of time since#that’s the easiest thing to do and then no one else is hurt or upset aside from me#I just feel like I’m destined to float through life never getting back what I need from my relationships but still giving everything because#I don’t know any other way to be. I don’t know how to set boundaries even for myself so I’ll just keep giving and giving until I’m dead#and yeah I guess I am still a lot happier than I used to be and I appreciate the people in my life#just sometimes feels like they don’t really appreciate me back is all#so now I have to lay here next to partner and have all this shit running in my mind and try to get over it on my own#reasonably I should just go to bed but the loneliness is gnawing at me and idk what to do to make it go away
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victory-cookies · 3 months ago
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best friend just left for uni again. maybe one day I won’t cry about this!
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exopelagic · 6 months ago
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I am baking cake at midnight and it is going to kill me <3
#it’s just gone in the oven which means at least 25 minutes and probably more like 45 bc I made a Lot#am also kiiiinda winging the recipe so my expectations are on the floor#this is. for a bake sale. pray for me#I’m gonna make the icing tonight and leave it in the fridge overnight I think for tomorrow morning#this has gone wrong at every available opportunity it was 100% not worth it#however! given the prices my friend wants to sell this at i May have turned this into like over £100 which isn’t bad#TWO CAKES. WHY AM I MAKING TWO CAKES#I’m procrastinating washing up the stuff I used to make the batter (hell) bc itssosososo messy and I just wanna shout abt stuff#primarily that I am once again so upset that I only get one more week of ice hockey before summer#there are two parts to this feeling: 1. I love ice hockey I’ve been having such a good time this past week while I’ve not had to stress#abt anything else. 2. gay. gay gay homosexual gay#like okay I’ve been worried abt whether this is an actual crush or I just convinced myself I like him bc pretty+queer#(because of course I can worry abt that). BUT yeah sorry no can confirm I like this dumb fuck this is so unfair#we talked a BUNCH last night and he’s just really cool.#ohhhh fuck I don’t think the oven was properly preheated bc I opened it for a while to fit the two tins in. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#anyway!! he’s really fun to talk to someone help like if he does turn out to be single I could in THEORY text him over summer. maybe.#his birthday will be coming up and my friend suggested that. I’m being insane but oh my god this is torture#I ALSO watched the newest dr who episode today and that did NOT HELP. one of the first things in a while that have given me like#this same specific feeling when I get into gay romantic media. the ���reading gay shit on wattpad at age 14 feeling’ if you will#where there’s like this weight in the pit of my stomach. it’s NICE that doesn’t sound good but it is#is this what straight people get with romance all the time. I know I just don’t watch/read much anymore but also#there’s straight romance in literally everything so.#but yeah basically I need another month of fuck around time minimum when everyone’s in this city so I can get my shit together#ALSO. I ONLY HAVE A YEAR LEFT HERE. THATS TERRIFYING. a year is a long time but it’s also not this one disappeared and this is like.#WAY too early to even consider that but he’s gonna be here probably for a year after I leave and that could suck if anything does happen.#I guess in theory I’m taking a year before phd probably so I could work here. idk man anyway that one is actually insane of me I’m just gay#boy 😔. they shouldn’t be allowed to do this#on Wednesday he’ll be done with exams and so will my other friend who knows him well. so I will be able to 1. subtly see w her if girlfriend#2. potentially. MAYBE ask what she thinks I’m just trying to decide whether that’s too much to put on her. I think I’m being insane there#luke.txt
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thegreatestheaver · 8 months ago
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uhghghfh I need to cut off someone in my life so bad but I just don’t know how to do it
#they make me feel like SHIT I HATE talking to them#idk … it’s hard because we have a history I guess#I’ve talked to some of my friends about them idk .. we used to be close#or I thought we were close but I think I always loved them more than they loved me#part of me still loves them and wants things to work but I am TIRED of it.#I Never feel good arounf them or abour them.#I’m just tired of how they treat me I guess#they always ignore my boundaries. I tell them hey I don’t like this thing. then they do the thing. and I cannot keep up with it anymore#it’s so tiring. I need to find someone who actually cares abt me and respects my boundaries and wishes and doesn’t get pissy when I call-#-them out on it#liek. It’s not that fucking hard. I know it’s not because I have people in my life who respect my boundaries and love me not for what I can-#-give but just for me. and I think that was a huge turning point#I was like oh uh oh . oh they’re just. treating me like shit#when it’s so easy not to dawg my boundaries aren’t even hard or complicated. fuck offf#I have a history of attracting people who overstep my boundaries idk why#but like idk it’s for the better#I might feel bad now like oh no I shouldn’t cos we have a bond but no#I’m just going to torture myself trying to get them to treat me like a fuckinf person I need to man up and drop them#I’m so bad at dropping people though UHGHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHGGGG ‘!!!!!#like idk man#they said liek oh no I promise I’ll chnage I’ll be better! and they’re just. worse. so much worse#they just keep getting worse ??????????
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vagueiish · 8 months ago
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guyyyysssss, how in the ever-loving hells am i supposed to become friends with people when i suffer from chronic lurker disease???
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yanderenightmare · 6 months ago
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TW: angst, toxic traits, somewhat bullying, breakup
fem reader
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You’re his first girlfriend. He’d never bothered with anything serious before—it seemed too messy to trifle with. He doesn’t know why he suddenly decided. Suppose he’d been feeling a little bored, and something within him saw you as a fool-proof opportunity.
It wasn’t because you were anything special. Actually, it was more the opposite. You didn’t seem like too big of a risk. You were just a normal, honest, nice person—a bit of a loser, too, if he was being honest. He could do a lot better and pick someone of the same caliber as him, someone with a cooler style and presence, but then he’d only get caught up in the competition.
You were more to his appetite—a dorky, blushy lil’ nerd who giggled nervously at everything he said. In other words, no competition at all. You’d never dare break his heart because you frankly couldn’t afford it. And he found solace in that imbalance—knowing he held all the cards and that you could only be grateful he’d chosen you.
At least, that had been what he’d thought. But then, here you are, holding his hands from across the table in a cute little sundae café, telling him how this just can’t work anymore.
He’s confused for a whole minute before it sinks in.
You’re breaking up with him.
He’s confused afterward, too.
You’re breaking up with him?
That can’t be right. You must be joking. He almost laughs, almost cackles, but ends up staying completely silent. Something about that pitiful look in your eye makes his throat tight, and he almost thinks he’s going to cry instead. 
You’re breaking up with him. You, with him. His foot starts to tap. Have you hit your head or something? You’re dressed in a hoodie, for crying out loud, with not an ounce of make-up on—effortless, as if his perception of you wasn’t any of your concern while you’re fucking breaking up with him.
No way. There’s just no way. You must be confused about something, is all. There’s absolutely no way you’re doing this.
“What are you talking about?” It comes angry. Louder than he’d intended, enough to make you jolt in your seat. A couple of heads even turn your way. You wait for them to turn back before answering.
“I just think we’re a bit too different. And… I don’t know…” You were trying to find ways of telling him you weren’t in love with him but ended up deciding it was unnecessary—it wasn’t exactly something he needed to hear even though you had a lot you could say.
You’re rude and arrogant and treat me like some rescue pet you’ve nurtured back to health. You act like you’re embarrassed to be with me even though you’re the one without any friends. You’re selfish and spoiled and—
“If you don’t know, then there’s nothing to talk about. Quit being silly.” He has a furrow between his brows as he picks up the pink menu between the two of you, scanning the different types of milkshakes you could share and forget all about it. After all, you weren’t breaking up with him—that would just be absurd. “Let’s get strawberry.”
“No—”
“Guess we could get mango if you want that instead—”
“I’m not sharing drinks with you—”
“What? You tryna lose weight or something? Not like anyone but me is gonna see you when all you wear are those baggy hoodies all the time. Speaking of which, you should wear mine instead, they’d suit you better—”
“Listen.” You stop his rambling. “I’m not sharing drinks, and I’m not wearing your clothes. I’m not being silly, either. I’m being serious. It’s over—”
“No, it’s not.” His fist bangs against the table—the look in his eye on edge and twitchy. “I asked you why, and you had no good reason—so it’s not, not until you convince me.”
You had wanted to avoid it, but it seems he wouldn’t allow you the grace to spare him. That being said, you hadn’t meant to be so brutally honest…
“You’re a narcissist. You don’t treat me like a girlfriend. I’m more like a charity case or some type of experiment to you. Half the time, it feels as though you’re just playing a game with everyone in your life like pawns for you to shuffle around the board as you see fit.” You’re the one with the furrowed brows now, unable to bite your tongue as you’d kept it in all this time. “I think you should seek help and get your controlling tendencies straightened out before having any type of relationship. Or don’t. In any case, I don’t think I’m the right girl for you.”
There’s a silence. The chatter of the café seems distant. You feel half inclined to apologize as you look at him and stare down the glassy tabletop as if trying to find his reflection for comfort—but then he beats you to the punch.
“You’re right…” he starts softly, mustering the words, and you’re almost proud to see him take it so well, but then there’s a viscousness to his next words. “You’re not the right girl for me.”
When he looks up again, his face is warped—callous and seemingly disgusted by the sight of you. Something about it even seems to lash out at you, seeking revenge.
“I can’t believe I thought I saw something in you,” he sighs. “Turns out you’re exactly what everyone warned me you would be—just a plane-boring old Jane. What a joke—wasting so much time on something so worthless. Forget breaking up with me, I should have broken up with you a long time ago.”
He gets up in a rush and bears over the table, both palms laid flat upon the surface.
“Charity case?” he seethes, then conjures a fake laugh and an even faker grin. “I couldn’t have put it better myself. Enjoy sitting here alone like the loser you are.”
And even though you’re the one watching him walk away while ordering a chocolate sundae for yourself, you can’t help but feel sorry for the poor guy… 
That had been the most emotion you’d ever witnessed come from him.
Obviously, he doesn’t take it very well, stumbling through the café before bursting out the door, but even he’s surprised by how disheveled it had made him. He’s hyperventilating when the fresh air hits him, almost sprinting to his car so that he can lock himself inside it.
But the car only makes it worse as he’s far from alone in there. You’re everywhere. On the hood, waiting for him with a smile. In the rearview mirror, waving at him. In the seat next to him with a pout, asking if you can stay over. In the backseat, naked with a coy twinkle in your eye.
He knows! He has some of your underwear at home—he’ll threaten to pass them around campus unless you beg him to take you back. No, what’s he thinking!? You’ll never come back to him that way. Fuck, what can he do, what’s he supposed to do!? He just called you worthless—what that fuck was he thinking?!
The tears startle him as they drip down and splash upon his whitening knuckles, where he grips the wheel for dear life even as the car stays completely still—safe and sound in the same plot.
There’s a light pink lip balm on the dash. Yours. You must have left it there—maybe on purpose? No… you don’t play games like that. You’d been honest in the café. The fact terrifies him—his heart seems to want to reject it at all costs, the way it tears in his chest.
He picks the slim pink stick up and rolls it around in his hand, which can’t seem to stop shaking. You’d sat on his lap in this very seat, laughing at something dumb he’d said while applying the very same balm on his lip—kissing his forehead while saying something sweet. He knows it wasn’t, but he imagines you’d whispered that you loved him.
When he smears the balm around his lips this time, he imagines kissing you and your soft lips and that everpresent smile he never bothered telling you was pretty.
He’s such an idiot. The birds in the parking lot take flight at the jostling of his car, but no one hears the roar.
And as he sits there in the following silence, wallowing in his own self-pity and regret, he can’t help but feel like the lead of some angsty teen romance.
And like the lead in an angsty teen romance, he swears… whatever it takes… he will win you back.
You will be his again.
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♡ BNHA – Bakugou, Dabi, Hawks ♡ JJK – Gojo, Naoya, some young type of Sukuna, or Toji ♡ HQ – Tsukishima, Oikawa, Sakusa, Miya twins ♡ BLLK – Reo ♡ AOT – Eren
♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist
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