#idk this is why I gotta stop
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sexyleon Ā· 2 years ago
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I officially completely unplugged myself as much as I can šŸ™ƒšŸ™ƒšŸ™ƒ Iā€™m way too reliant on my phone and waiting for people to talk to me is super unhealthy and has made me very anxious. I literally turned off ever single possible notification and will purposefully not be responding to messages because I just need time a space to figure out how to navigate myself without validation from others.
#plz no sexyleon#life update basically#Iā€™ll still be using tumblr and stuff and Iā€™ll probably reply to things on here#but I likely wont be responding to direct messages#I just???? Iā€™m too clingy and needy and I feel reliant on the people I talk to for any sort of social interaction to be happy#I gotta figure it out because my mental health is in the shit and I canā€™t be reliant on others for stability#and I didnā€™t even really notice thatā€™s what was happening until all my friends were busy on the same day and I really just needed someone#anywyas sorry this is complicated I just needed to vent in the void#also for my mutuals who I talk to all the time this is why Iā€™m afk and Iā€™m sorry I love you very much I just have to figure it out#why am I insane and hoping people try to reach out to me anyways??? just to say they are here if I need anything?? like I do to them????#idk this is why I gotta stop#im the loneliest bitch in the world but I really canā€™t be anymore I gotta be alone in this bitch but not lonely#or I need to make friends with my loneliness and we can tackle the world together#otherwise im not going to survive#my anxiety is out of the roof and I constantly feel like Iā€™m having heart palpitations#I literally think Iā€™m going to die sometimes#I used to say Iā€™d prefer the anxiety over the depression because I know how to navigate anxiety#well guess what my anxiety evolved like some sort of mega PokĆ©mon and now itā€™s kicking my ass and I donā€™t have any idea how to defeat it#sorry for venting
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xxplastic-cubexx Ā· 21 days ago
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crusty evolution redraw. in theory.
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spirk-trek Ā· 7 months ago
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gota blast
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bajaja-blast Ā· 2 months ago
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Average pb listening experience (at least for me)
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makeriia Ā· 2 months ago
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Fantober day 31!! A free day again.
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Recently gotten into HADES, and I think about them a normal amount (lie)
#THEM. THEM. *SHAKES HANDS IN AIR* THEEEEEEEMMM#Honestly itā€™s surprising I havent gotten into the fandom sooner I mean I have been a mythology nerd since??? Uhhh#idk. But every week I see a notif from OSP and jump around in my room because YEAAAHHHH HYSTORY MYTHOS AND TROPES YEAHHHHH#And greek mythology is where the interest began so why am I only NOW getting onto the Hades train only god knows. Maybe multiple. They got#a whole pantheon so idk maybe multiple ON THE OTHER HAND they didnā€™t know about their own relative OR who his mom is so maybe I give them#too much credit#jkjk jk Zeus dont smite me I listen to ā€˜ā€™Thunder bringerā€™ā€™ a lot plz#speaking of epic the musical thats what I wanted to draw originality because HAVE YOU BEEN ON THE LIVESTREAM YESTERDAY?#THE ANIMATICSSSS THE ANIMATICCCSSS THE 3D CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD. ODYSSEUS CASUALLY GETTING A JETPACK šŸ’€ okay go off king /gen#HE GOTTA BE DANGEROUS MY FRIENDS GOTTA USE ALL HIS TRICKS IN HIS DOMAIN FOR THIS OH YEAH YOU CANNOT GET AWAY WITH PLAYING- okay Iā€™ll stop#but we need a Hermes saga Im just saying. I love he. Heā€™s such a dawling#ā€¦Also not me healing the ivantill trauma with a different silverhair+blackhair duo huh.#They bring me comfort I love my silly goofy god of nothing/blood and his boyfriend THE GRIM REAPER#my art#thanzag#they make me insane but in a good way#oh to be a guy trying to escape his dads house and then die to a butterfly and hopefully see death himself because heā€™s cute#hades game#hades fanart#hades zagreus#hades thanatos
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godlygivenanxiety Ā· 19 days ago
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look, not to be a hater but the whole ekko/jinx alternate universe situation only proves that jinx was only ever loved entirely and completely by silco, that's kinda the point of how tragic jinx really is as a character,
vi either only sees her little sister out of guilt/sense of duty mixed with a desperate need to come back to something or as consequences to her own actions(taking away agency from jinx in the process);
ekko sees her through the eyes of an idealist which is exactly what he is and that's not bad by itself, but it makes her either A Problem or Someone That Needs Saving, that's what's going on in his head after that AU he transported to. he's comparing jinx to powder and he likes powder much better, so he wants jinx to be powder or to reignite the powder in her - basically, he thinks how vi used to think;
isha is a complicated matter because she did show kindness and affection towards jinx that wasn't equal to anyone else's, it was pure and idolizing, she loved what she knew of jinx.
the people of zaun don't love her, not by a long shot. she became a symbol to some(as we can notice in the reunion by vander's statue) and overall the assumption that she would get involved more after her attack and silco's death is a fair one; that doesn't mean they like her,
sevika maintains a connection to jinx through grief and a sense of helplessness along with familiarity, silco's death affected jinx's psyche but it also affected sevika's dream of zaun, they feel left behind by him;
vander... well, he only got to see powder and warwick quite literally just had the memories,
the ONLY character we see that meets her as powder and stays with her as jinx is silco; yes, he isn't a good guy and he does cause the whole separation, he sharpened her edges to make her into a weapon, he lied to her and manipulated her at times, none of these things exclude the fact he does love her so strongly, with zero conditions.
she fucks up in missions, she does as she pleases around zaun, she kills their people, she stabs him in the eye, has psychotic episodes and breakdowns, she kidnaps him, ties him down, SHOOTS HIM, she doubts him and his love, keeps running after the past when he's done everything to strengthen her and she was, at a point, the only thing keeping him from his dream of an independent zaun - none of these perceived sins and flaws made him wish for anyone other than her, as she is.
all silco wanted was to keep her, while everyone else either wants another version of her or none at all. that's the tragic part, even if she suddenly decided to be good, she would feel like a burden for not being entirely like people want her to be.
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theflowerofthecommonwealth Ā· 5 months ago
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I got upset that Nick's agency looked so rundown because RoboDad deserves better. So I fixed it up and decorated it with mods to give him a better place to live and work.
His office is still messy and disorganized but thereā€™s a lot more storage so that everything has a proper place, it just gets moved around a lot.
Nickā€™s desk area now has a bunch of pictures and notes taped to the wall to help him spell out his thoughts on recent cases.
Thereā€™s also a picture of Maggie on his desk to remind him of his lady love.
His guest room looks a lot more cozy with actual sheets on the bed and pillows.
I know itā€™s kinda implied that itā€™s actually Nicks bed and Ellie sleeps upstairs, but I like to think she has her own apartment elsewhere.
Nicks new room has a big and luscious bed because he deserves to have one and no one can tell be otherwise. Let Gramps have some comfort dang it.
And there are books everywhere because Valentine seems like the type who likes to read and write. Some of those he wrote himself.
That carved duck on the dresser was a gift from a grateful client. Actually, most of the stuff he has are gifts because so doubt heā€™ll buy much comforts for himself.
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violetisderp Ā· 6 months ago
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This is officially my 3rd Doodle page with him but idc.
I decided I needed more art with him and the prototype cause like- who dosn't?
Silly hand boi with silly kitty. Nothing will ever go wrong.
NOT A SHIP
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yamsgarden Ā· 1 year ago
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flirt flirt oh it hurts
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independent-fics Ā· 5 months ago
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The Leverage OT3 in Every Episode
Leverage: 01x06 The Miracle Job
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xxplastic-cubexx Ā· 23 days ago
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my daughterss
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bumpintheroad Ā· 11 months ago
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when someone stops flirting with me it makes me wish i never started flirting with them to begin with
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chaos0pikachu Ā· 5 months ago
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I was gonna write a big essay on why the film making for a lot of gmmtv shows I've watched don't do it for me as a larger reflection on why I don't bother with the studio at large and how I think they do their fans/audiences dirty
but I'm really fucking lazy and also idk if I want that heat
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gobblinhours Ā· 2 months ago
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am i normal for not being able to sleep while my roommate plays warzone (no volume except for xbox controller clicking which sounds rlly loud for some reason) 10 feet away from my head until 3 am or am i a pwissy wittwe baby who can't handle a little bit of flashing lights and talking. leaning towards the latter
figured it out sleep on side with headphones to block noise they might break so that's ba but worth it
never mind talking now pillow on head not enough
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zebratimw Ā· 2 years ago
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Spirit animal SQH
#svsss#shang qinghua#but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but#but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee#also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but#I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg#oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left#I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something#or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird#LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm#I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either#I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself#eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up#I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa#man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong#cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk#its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment#with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig#and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a āœØļøbreak down#but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake šŸ’€#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications#and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly#man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk
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spitblaze Ā· 8 months ago
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I'm not a psychologist or a politician or anything approaching an expert about literally anything except a few specific video games but I feel like so many people wouldn't be agonizing over the moral implications of one (1) vote if we as the less-than-uppest-of-upper-crust had the ability to meaningfully affect change in ways other than 'spend money/do not spend money, vote for the red or blue tie'
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