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atimesfeeler · 20 hours ago

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I can’t figure out how to get to this part in my fic “Rotten Ones” but I’ve been sitting on this wip forever *throws it at you*

(Old Logan in Wade’s universe is dead btw)

“So whats your fucking deal, huh? What’s your problem?”

“Nothing. I don’t have a problem,” Scott said coldly.

Logan snorted. “Yeah right. Look if you want me off your fucking property take it up with Chuck, alright?”

Scott took a slow steady breath. “The school is for all mutants.”

Logan made a grumbling laugh into his drink and took a swig. The large gulp swooped through his stomach and up to his brain, an instant but brief buzz. It made him tipsy enough to yank the bottle away and squint at Scott.

“You hate him or something?”

Scott bristled, “Who?”

“Your Logan,” he clarified, “Did you hate ‘im?”

“Did you hate your Scott?” he fired back, and Logan couldn’t help but tip his head back and laugh. A deep laugh that shook his stomach and made him feel even worse. It was funny, and it hurt like nothing else.

“Hate him? Sure,” Logan said with a smile and watery eyes, “but god, did I love him.”

Scott looked taken aback, and it was the first real emotion Logan saw on his face since he met this version of Scott. The worst part was that Logan knew him, and while this wasn’t his Scott, he was close enough that Logan could probably figure him out. Logan loved his Scott. Of course he knew him.

Scott was standoffish and an asshole and had the biggest stick up his ass out of anyone that Logan knew. It was a combination of a traumatic childhood paired with the innate awkwardness that Scott carried and the fact that he wasn’t allowed to be a human being for a little while. He told Logan his whole past once, drunk out of his mind and slumped against Logan on the couch. It was during his grief over Jean, and Logan had asked what made her so fucking special. She was special, no doubt, and Logan had picked up on it as soon as he met her, but Scott clung to her like an anchor- like he was a sailor lost at sea and she was his buoy, his fucking savior. He couldn’t let her go, and he couldn’t let Logan in, and Logan wanted to know why. So Scott told him. Misfortune, abuse, alienation, pressure. Jean helped him out of the dark place Scott had been in, like a candle in a cave and Logan couldn’t fault him for holding onto her like he was scared of the dark. Scott was scarred and broken, and Logan foolishly thought he could help out Scott back together, like Jean did. But Logan didn’t fix things. He broke them.

So of course he knew that Scott was just like this, and Logan hated that he understood and that this Scott didn’t know. Didn’t know that he knew. That he cared. That he understood.

Scott was silent for a moment and then he said, quietly, “Then why did you leave?”

It was said curiously this time, and it clicked to Logan that this was the reason Scott didn’t like him. Scott thought he left and abandoned his X-Men for another world, and he was right, in a way. Duty and responsibility were ingrained into Scott’s personality. If nothing else, he was there for his X-Men, for Charles, for Jean. He always had a bone to pick with Logan over leaving the mansion periodically when the responsibilities were too much, and Scott’s heart eyes for Jean were too loud. Scott always got on Logan for leaving when they might need him, and he was right in the end.

Logan took a shuttering inhale. Part of him knew he didn’t have to tell Scott. A voice that sounded like Wade, a little bit. But Logan was nothing if not self-sabotaging and a larger part of him wanted to hear, deserved to hear it. He’d imagined and dreamt of Scott’s reaction for a decade at least, and it haunted him- not knowing. He found Scott dead. The last thing he heard Scott say was over the phone in a voice recording. “Come on, Logan. Just come back. I know I… I know we have our differences but… we need you. The X-Men need you. Just come home, please.”

“He’s gone,” Logan croaked, and it never got easier saying it. “They’re gone. All of them. Couldn’t save them.”

Scott didn’t say anything, and Logan couldn’t tear his eyes away from the rim of his bottle.

“I wanted-” Logan's voice cracked. “I didn’t want to tell you, you know.”

He glanced up and saw red reflected back at him and quickly looked away.

“Didn’t want to see that look you’d give me,” Logan admitted and chuckled, though it wasn’t funny. He swallowed. “But I deserve it. I deserve it.”

Logan took a large swig of his bottle, almost emptying it. Scott was silent and that was almost worse. In all his horrible fantasies, Scott yelled and reprimanded. He blamed and cried and they argued just like how they fought when Jean came back, but worse. Logan always made him meaner, in his mind. He didn’t know why. In reality, Scott was maybe not nice, but he was kind. Compassionate. Always the bigger person. Better than Logan despite all his baggage. Not more likable, not by a long shot, but more of a hero than Logan would ever be.

“I didn’t, by the way,” Scott said, breaking the heavy silence.

Logan looked up with a frown, confused.

“I didn’t hate you,” Scott clarified, “Him, I mean. We were…”

Scott looked away, and Logan clung to his murmured words like a dying man, blinking through the drunken state so he could remember what Scott was going to say.

“I didn’t love him like you loved each other,” Scott settled on and his brow furrowed. “I don’t think he loved me like that either. But I did love him. He was… he was my best friend.”

Logan didn’t know what to say.

“I can’t say for sure, but your Scott… he probably loved you too,” Scott said simply, and Logan sucked in a sharp breath. “And I don’t think he blamed you either.”

Tears welled in Logan’s eyes, and he grunted, shoving his palm hard into his eye socket. A shaky sob-like breath escaped his lips against his will. The last thing Logan wanted to do was cry in front of a Scott that didn’t know him like his Scott did and didn’t know what Logan had done.

Wordlessly, Logan shook his head, shoulders tensed from holding back emotion. Logan hadn’t cried over the attack in years. He had buried the pain and become numb to it after awhile, but coming here, seeing the X-Men alive and different- it was too much. He had held it together for Wade and Laura and the missions, but of course it all came crashing down when he talked to the one person who didn’t give a shit about him. God. He missed his Scott. Even if his Scott wouldn’t be as kind as this one, he missed him. Wasn’t that fucked up?

Logan must have said it outloud, a mangled sentence choked around a sob, “I miss him.”

Because a warm hand landed on his shoulder, and Scott murmured, “I miss him too.”

It was all the more painful knowing that Scott missed a different version of him, comforting Logan missing a different version of him. Wade was right. This multiverse stuff was all bullshit.

“Isn’t that fucked up?” Scott echoed, and he let out a huff of a laugh, but it wasn’t amused.

“I’m sorry I-” Logan exhaled shakily, trying to calm himself. “I’m sorry I’m here.”

Logan glanced up at Scott, probably looking pathetic with red-rimmed watery eyes and a crumpled expression. He saw a crease in Scott’s brow, and despite how different this Scott was, Logan once was fluent in all Scott’s micro expressions. He looked nervous, a little unsure, a little sad. Sympathetic maybe. It would have been better if Logan found anger there and resentment, but he didn’t.

“Don’t be,” Scott said, “Don’t be. Look, I’m sorry I was an asshole. I didn’t know if you were like him or if you were going to be worse.”

“Worse,” Logan laughed wetly. “Definitely worse.”

“Good.” Scott cracked a smile. “I’d hate you if you were better.”

Logan huffed a weak laugh through his nose at that.

Scott squeezed his shoulder once and said, “Take it easy, Logan,” and quietly left the kitchen.

Logan was glad for the solitude even if the ache of missing his dead lover grew. But there was this sort of… peace that settled over him. Maybe his Scott really wouldn’t blame Logan if he could speak to him. Maybe his Scott really did love Logan once. The things that kept him up at night were answered, and while it wasn’t by his Scott, it helped. Logan didn’t want it to help. He wanted it to feel worse, but he exhaled a large breath through his mouth and felt his tears subside and felt better despite it. Logan set down his almost empty bottle on the kitchen island and didn’t pick it back up again.

Logan calmed himself by taking large gulps of air through his nose and out through his mouth. He was alone but on every inhale he could smell the children and the teachers. Warmth. Life. He caught a whiff of blood- Wade’s signature scent- and realized he didn’t want to sit alone anymore. He wanted to go to bed. He wanted Wade to chat his ear off and distract him from his thoughts better than any bottle ever had.

Logan pushed himself to stand and dumped the rest of the bottle down the sink and tossed it in the trash. He ambled up to his room with dragging steps and cracked the door open.

Wade was lying on the bed on his stomach, tapping away on his phone. Playing some brightly colored game.

“Hey! You’re back-“ Wade stopped when he saw Logan’s face. “What happened?”

There was so much concern, so much care behind Wade’s voice that the tears Logan fought so hard to get rid of swelled back. He ducked his head to hide himself and sat heavily on the edge of the bed. Wade was there in a second, sitting on his knees behind Logan and putting an arm on his shoulder.

Logan hid his face in his hands as he spoke. “Talked to Scott.”

“Oh,” Wade said, knowing and… something else. Disappointed, maybe.

“It… it wasn’t easy,” Logan said.

“What did he say?” Wade asked, and Logan could tell by his tone that he was trying never hard not to jump out of the room and hunt Scott down. The thought almost made him smile.

Logan shrugged, failing to find the right words.

“You gotta give me something, honey, do I need to steal his tooth brush and stick it in questionable places, or do I need to get my gun?”

Logan huffed and chanced a look at Wade, seeing his innocent look that spoke volumes of violence.

“Neither. It… helped. What he said,” Logan admitted, “I guess I wanted him to, I don’t know, yell at me. Blame me for shit. But he didn’t.”

“Oh,” Wade relaxed slightly. “That’s good, then. So he was nice?”

“As nice as Scott can be, yeah,” Logan said.

Wade frowned. His hand left Logan’s shoulder.

“Do you…” Wade started in a small voice, “Are you two-“

“No,” Logan cut him off with a scoff, “With this Scott? No. And I wouldn’t. He’s different, and he’s got Jean.”

“That didn’t stop you before,” Wade hummed and Logan could take offense, but he was too tired, and he could tell Wade didn’t mean to push his buttons. It was said gently, proddingly.

“No,” Logan conceded, “But he didn’t love his Logan like that. Not like in my universe. My Scott is long gone. I… I’ve accepted that.”

Wade didn’t say anything, and Logan tacked on. “And I’m not putting myself through that love triangle shit again.”

Wade laughed softly, “You don’t like to share?”

“No,” Logan growled. It was fun at the time, and Logan told himself that it was what he wanted. Both of them. And maybe if they loved him the same amount they loved each other, Logan could have been happy. But they loved each other in the light, and they loved Logan in the dark. He was their vice, their third, their fun, their fights. But he wasn’t their partner. Logan always went and loved people who used him and even if they loved him: Scott, Jean, Kayla- they used him too.

“I don’t want to get in between their shit again. Butt in their life. I just want to live mine.”

And it shocked him a little to hear himself say that. Logan hadn’t wanted to live his life in a long time. For a while, he didn’t even want to live.

“Oh thank god,” Wade exasperated, “I didn’t know how to break the news to you that second time is really not the charm.”

Logan snorted. “Asshole.”

Wade laughed softly and silence fell between them. It was that weighted kind; the one where Logan knew Wade was rearing up to say something.

“Can I hug you?”

Logan lifted his head from his hands and looked at him. There was this hopeful expression on his face, and he started rambling before Logan could answer.

“You just look like you could use a hug. And I could too. If I’m being honest. Who wouldn’t need a hug from that amazing sack of pillows? God, you could suffocate me in them and I’d thank you, really-“

Logan just leaned towards him, bumping his head against Wade's shoulder. Before he could decide if he regretted it or not, Wade melted into him. Immediately Wade pulled Logan closer, turning him so that he could wrap his arms around Logan’s neck, and Logan found himself pressing his face into Wade’s warm shoulder. His arms gradually came up to his waist and gripped the back of his shirt. Wade let out a shuddering sigh and that’s all it took for the water to leak out of his eyes. Logan smudged his silent tears against Wade’s soft cotton shirt and sniffled.

“There you go, big guy,” Wade murmured and while it might have sounded condescending to Logan once, now it just sounded soft. “Let it all out. Papa Wade’s gotcha.”

#poolverine #deadpool and wolverine #poolverine fics #deadpool #deadpool headcanons #character study #my writing #for my fic: Rotten Ones

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tv-show-stuff · 2 days ago

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The Hollow Men

Thomas Kinard, in the aftermath

We are the hollow men

We are the stuffed men

Leaning together

Headpiece filled with straw.

It's not until the next week that Tommy realizes he probably just walked away from the best thing that has ever happened to him.

After leaving Evan's place - Buck's place, he thinks to himself, the final nail in the coffin - he gets in his car and does not think about it. He drives home and he does not think about it. He unlocks his door, walks all the way to his bedroom without turning on a single light, and he does not think about it. He strips down to his boxers and his socks and collapses face first on the duvet, not bothering to turn down the bed, and he resolutely does not think about it.

He spends the next five days feeling numb, moving fitfully through the motions, without taking a single second to process the monumental, life-altering decision he made. He gets up in the morning when his alarm goes off, makes his bed with military precision, showers and shaves and styles his hair and brushes his teeth and puts on his cologne like normal. He eats his standard two meals a day, breakfast and dinner, without really tasting them, deliberately ignoring the voice in the back of his mind saying "It's important to enjoy what you're eating, Tommy. Yes I know I was on the keto diet, what does that have to do with anything?" He goes back to skipping lunch, since there is no longer anyone who will wake up early to make one for him when he goes to work, and he doesn't feel like putting in the effort for himself ("If I have it ready for you before you leave, then you have no excuse to skip it, now do you?").

It's not until the sixth day that he realizes "Oh. I ruined something good for me because I was scared ." He's sitting on his couch, ostensibly drinking a beer that he's only taken three sips out of, half-heartedly watching the Kings play the Oilers, when he comes to this realization. His second thought after that is "This is not the first time I've done this."

The thing about Evan is, he's so solid. He's already lived more of a life in three decades than some people do for their entire existence. And even after everything he's gone through, he still manages to hold on to a level of optimism and determination and hope in a way that seams indefatigable. He's brilliant. He's bright. He's young, and exuberant, and after Tommy kissed him and helped him slot into place a piece of himself he didn't even know he was missing, he settled quietly into someone who knows what he wants.

Tommy doesn't know what he wants. Some days, he feels like he doesn't even know who he is. When he looks inward, he sees little more than smoke and mirrors; a labyrinth he doesn't know how to navigate. He's always felt a little off-kilter, like he's walking on a tight-rope, unaware if there's a safety net underneath him if he falls. He's never bothered to look down; he doesn't want to know.

Shape without form, shade without color,

Paralysed force, gesture without motion;

Evan told him he saw a future together. He admires Tommy. He thinks he's brave. Tommy is the furthest thing from brave. The bravest things he's ever done have all involved Evan: that world-shattering first kiss in his kitchen; walking away after that failed date; saying yes to his invitation to the wedding. He doesn't think he's got any bravery left in him.

One day, Evan is going to realize that Tommy is a coward. He's hollow, broken; he has no solid core, no inner structure. He doesn't want to be there when it happens.

Evan deserves better than a shell of a person. He's recovered from everything that life has thrown so far thrown at him; he'll recover from this too. He may be heartbroken now, but eventually that will heal. One day, he'll probably even be thankful.

Tommy won't ever recover from this. This will haunt him until the day he dies. It doesn't matter. He'd break his own heart a thousand times over; he's not sure he has much of one anyways.

This is the way the world ends

Not with a bang but a whimper.

Poem in italics by T.S. Eliot

This is my first fanfiction in a LONG time, and my first for this show, so please be nice! I'm not a great writer, but this has been haunting me and I needed to get it out of my system.

I'm barely in this fandom, but that man has me in a chokehold. A self-sabatoging character who thinks he doesn't deserve anything good?I can relate to that. Again, I'm really only a casual watcher, so if I've gotten any details wrong, please feel free to let me know (gently please!)

Also, I do have an ao3 account! I've never posted on it, I'm mostly only there to read, but if even 1 person likes this enough to want it put on there for some reason, let me know and I'd be happy to do so! I'm also thinking about adding more -possibly Buck's POV, maybe even a make-up. We will see if anyone even bothers to read this one lmao.

#character study #tommy kinard #buck x tommy #911 #9-1-1 #9 1 1 fanfiction #fanfiction #bucktommy #tevan #tevan fic #tevan fanfiction #kinley #bucktommy fic #bucktommy fanfic

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lifezvictory · 2 days ago

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If I had to pick a least favorite voice, it would have to be Smitten.

Even before Pristine Cut, I never found him as charming as everyone else seemed to. I'm aroace and romance repulsed so I thought that was what it mainly was, that he represented everything that irked me about romance as a concept. But I think it was more than that.

Smitten, though it might not seem that way at first glance, is selfish. He only cares about how he feels and no one else. Hero is clearly uncomfortable with the way that he acts about the Princess, and I, for the record, was uncomfortable and annoyed too, but is too nice to directly ask him to stop. (I know, I've been there.) But Smitten never listens. He keeps disrespecting everyone's boundaries over, and over, and over again.

He also believes that he is pure good and isn't doing anything wrong ("Would you rather believe me with my good nature?") But the most glaring flaw with him is his entitlement.

He will accept no less than the Princess being romantically in love with him. When she doesn't seem happy to be with him, he cannot even entertain the idea that she might not want him and completely snaps, blaming anyone and anything else before accepting the reality of the situation. Happily Ever After, to me, feels like a blatant depiction of an abusive relationship, with Damsel panicking when Quiet doesn't go along with things and desperately insisting to Smitten, who is now in her head, that she's happy with him. So much for him preferring she didn't have a voice in her head telling her what to do, I guess it's different when said voice is him. Very protagonist centered morality, that one. .

The more commonly disliked voices, Opportunist and Cold, I just can't manage to be as upset by. Do they do and say some very questionable things, to say the least? Yes. But the difference is, they're honest about it. Neither one of them even tries to hide their true nature, well maybe Oppy does but he's terrible at it, like a cartoon villain. You know right away not to fully trust either of them, that they are threats. Smitten on the other hand is far more subtle, to the point that I was gaslighting myself about his true nature before Pristine Cut came out. And he is far more similar to abusive and entitled people you would find in real life.

TLDR: Unpopular opinion, Smitten sucks actually.

#slay the princess #voice of the smitten #voice of the hero #the long quiet #the damsel #happily ever after #rant #vent #unpopular opinion #aroace #aromantic #character study #analysis #voice of the cold #voice of the opportunist

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majesty0h · 3 days ago

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The virgin whore, the Imperfect God, Satoru Gojo. A character study.

From birth, Gojo was never allowed to be simply a person. Born into the esteemed Gojo clan as the first in generations to inherit both the Limitless Cursed Technique and the Six Eyes, he was not raised so much as he was cultivated. The clan's expectations—and indeed, the expectations of the entire sorcery world—shaped him into a weapon. He was trained to embody perfection, the Honored One who would bring balance to the world of jujutsu sorcery, both protector and executioner.

The Gojo clan's elders saw him not as a child but as a tool, a force of nature to wield against their enemies and a symbol of their dominance. Gojo’s identity was never his own; it was defined by those who sought to control him, though they could only do so at a distance. His upbringing denied him the vulnerability and connections that form the core of humanity. This isolation created a paradox: he was destined to stand apart, yet his immense power was meant to serve the collective.

Gojo’s unparalleled strength isolates him further with every loss, and his tragedies compound the burden of his existence. The deaths of Riko Amanai and Suguru Geto, his closest friend, left profound scars. Riko’s death, in particular, was a formative moment—his failure to protect her highlighted the limits of his strength at a time when he still believed he could protect everyone.

Geto’s fall from grace, however, shattered Gojo in a different way. Their bond was one of equals, the rare connection where Gojo felt understood. Geto’s defection and eventual death represented not only the loss of a friend but the loss of someone who could truly see and comprehend him as a person, not a deity. For someone who views the world from a vantage point far above it, the departure of his equal was akin to the severing of a lifeline.

Even the trauma of almost being killed by Toji Fushiguro—the first and perhaps only time Gojo tasted true vulnerability—left an indelible mark. It wasn’t just the physical threat but the shattering realization that even a god can bleed. Yet, Gojo emerged stronger, the experience reinforcing his belief that he could not afford weakness. He had to become untouchable, both physically and emotionally, to prevent such a near-death experience from ever happening again.

Gojo’s playful, irreverent demeanor is a carefully constructed mask. It allows him to navigate a world where people either revere or fear him while concealing the depth of his loneliness and internal struggle. His cockiness and penchant for flaunting his power are less about arrogance and more about finding fleeting joy in a life that offers little else. He chases highs—be it in battle, rebellion against authority, or pushing boundaries—not out of recklessness but as a way to feel something in a world where most experiences are dull compared to his overwhelming strength.

Gojo’s power places him on a plane of existence where interpersonal relationships are inherently imbalanced. He can sympathize and even empathize with others, but true connection eludes him. How can he relate to people when his perception of reality—amplified by the Six Eyes—operates on a different level entirely? His relationships, even with those closest to him, are tinged with an underlying distance.

This distance mirrors the plight of Dr. Manhattan from Watchmen, another being too powerful and too detached to fully engage with humanity. Like Manhattan, Gojo is everything and nothing: a god capable of infinite destruction or salvation, yet fundamentally alone in his existence. Both are slaves to their identities, unable to escape the expectations and responsibilities their power entails.

Gojo’s capacity for love is limited by the very nature of his power. Love requires vulnerability, an exchange between equals, and Gojo has neither. He can care deeply for his students, protect them, and guide them, but it’s a one-sided relationship. He sees their potential and acts as a shepherd, yet he cannot allow himself to rely on them or show weakness in return. This dynamic reflects his mentorship of Megumi Fushiguro. While Gojo trains Megumi to be strong enough to surpass him—perhaps even to end him one day—it’s unclear whether this stems from genuine belief in Megumi’s potential or a subconscious desire to escape the loneliness of his existence through his own destruction.

Do I think he loved Geto? Maybe. Do I think they were intimate? Maybe. As nothing more than a pantomime. He would give that to Suguru to make him happy, not for himself. That's what humans do, isn't it? They fuck, they whisper sweet promises under the moon. But it's just acting. Think again to Janie and Dr. Manhattan.

In romantic or deeply personal relationships, the imbalance is even more pronounced. How can a god love an ant? And how can an ant love a god? While Gojo possesses empathy and the ability to care, he struggles to bridge the gap between his divine existence and the human emotions of those around him. This inability to connect fully leaves him stranded, yearning for something he cannot quite grasp.

Despite his freedom to defy the higher-ups of the jujutsu world, Gojo is ultimately a slave to his role as the strongest. He cannot afford to mourn, to hesitate, or to show weakness. The world demands that he remain invincible, and he complies, suppressing his grief and humanity in the process. He cannot even die on his own terms, as his existence is too intertwined with the survival of the sorcery world.

This paradox defines Gojo’s life: he is a protector who cannot be protected, a god who cannot transcend his humanity. His strength is both his salvation and his curse, ensuring that he will remain alone until the end. In a world that demands his divinity, he is denied the freedom to be human.

youtube

#jjk #roleplay #gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen #character study #i can go on for hours #he deserved so much more #he knew he was going to die by Megumi's body and he welcomed it #tojigo #toji fushiguro #this is why i can't see him with anyone but Toji because that's the closest to someone on his level he'll ever find #i know he buried toji on Gojo clan property so he can keep him close forever #i can talk about this for hours #satosugu denier #Youtube

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flashnthunder · 2 days ago

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From Worry and Woe (ao3)

There’s warmth in the stitches of his quilts, pulled tighter around his body than the warm night requires. It’s a different texture over each square of fabric as he drags his knuckles over it. Going back and forth till they start to burn like his palms.

Still, he feels the same kind of fear crawl into bed with him, shifty and wary-eyed like a beaten dog.

Joe Toye Day prompt; pre-war/post-war @toyeday

#toyeday2024 #joe toye i love you but i dont know if i can write you well so hello from the other side of the mountain range #joe toye #joseph toye #izzy writes #george luz cameo #character study #?? i think #idk what else to call it #band of brothers #ao3 #moodboard

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patchwork-crow-writes · 1 day ago

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Oh... how did I not ever notice this? Because that makes so much damn sense it hurts! Both of them existing eternally under Asriel's shadow, desperate to move out of it and become their own people. It's astonishing how much these two parallel each other... augh it's so good!

Okay, so I understand what you mean when you say comparing Ralsei to Kris, and how it might end up reducing him again to an aspect of another character. HOWEVER! I think there's a substantial difference between the way that Deltarune encourages comparison between Ralsei and Asriel, and underplays comparison between Ralsei and Kris. All the surface details of Ralsei encourage people to associate him with Asriel, and the game pushes this quite hard, to the point where supplemental materials keep linking him with flowers. Whereas no such easy points of comparison are drawn between him and Kris - the closest we get is the idea of the horned headband Toriel mentions at the end of Chapter 1. But dig a little bit under the surface, and you quickly discover just how similar they really are - not in superficial terms like name or appearance, but in terms of their life experiences, their struggles to fit in and be accepted amongst their peers, and their desires to be their own people.

To summarise the above - comparison with Asriel diminishes and flattens Ralsei into yet another cipher of the former, while comparison with Kris enriches Ralsei's character, and might just offer us clues into who Ralsei actually is as a person, and who or what he wishes to become.

I hope that that made sense! Excellent analysis, thank you for sharing :D

th "Ralsei is overlooked" thing is one of the biggest parallels he's got with Kris.

he's forgotten unless pointed out, when he's noticed it's always in relation to someone else (cough cough ASRIEL, in-game and OUT. th irony of me comparin him to Kris rn). he's just. treated as "the friend of", and not He Himself, Ralsei. he's there to appease, n loves to give

Kris is (or was) like that too. they're "the sibling of Asriel", n ignored unless they're bein othered for their differences. they give, gullibly so, for attention and most of all acceptance. it doesn't change anything

#rb #deltarune #kris dreemurr #ralsei #asriel dreemurr #character study #deltarune speculation

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severepink · 10 months ago

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Observing Adam

Where I go way too deep into something that probably isn't that deep. It's long, it's long as hell.

Okay, so you'd think with how Adam talks he's just a typical misogynist, right?

This man worships pussy. So much so, he's named a whole ass angel, one of his best, Vagina. You'd say that he objectifies them and thinks of them as being lesser, but I don't think that's the whole story. In fact, I think he might be the original simp.

All of these exorcists so far have been women. All of them. He refers to them as ladies or bitches interchangeably, he sees them as being completely capable of absolutely decimating leagues of some of the most vile beings who have ever existed, and they have, to the point it was only after thousands of years that there's been a risk to this hierarchy.

He's a self-centered, egotistical, loud-mouthed, arrogant asshole, no doubt about it, but I'm beginning to suspect something now.

If Adam and Lilith were created from the same dust, if they were created as equals, I am more than willing to bet... Lilith is also a self-centered, egotistical, arrogant asshole. But, she's likely far more intelligent, composed, and duplicitous.

Lilith was allowed to refuse Adam and leave of her own free will and garnered her own independence. A new wife was created for Adam, she was replaced. My guess, is she thought Adam wouldn't be able to live without her, to come back and find herself replaced entirely, she was enraged.

I believe both Adam and Lilith were both incredibly dominant individuals who fought over ideas, thoughts, and ultimately in the bedroom as well, if we take into account the creationist stories.

I'm willing to bet she likely manipulated Lucifer into twisting humanity against its original concept. What if Lucifer's intention truly was to just spark something within Eve, like independence and thought and creation, but it was Lilith's poison within the fruit that tainted her, then subsequently Adam, with sin.

Lilith thrived in hell, while Lucifer's dreams of creation were dashed. She didn't suffer as he did, instead the power of her voice grew with hell. Her voice grew so powerful that heaven found it to be a threat, her actions instigated the beginning of exterminations.

Charlie said that when she was a little girl, she didn't know Lucifer at all. I don't think this was because of Lucifer, he's seen here, picking her up, inviting her to share in his thoughts and dreams, showing her something wonderful. Something she could see within herself.

Charlie says that it's this moment that sparked her will to fight for her dreams. Which is strange, because at the very beginning of the story, Charlie says it was her mother's dream that was passed down to her.

Lilith took Charlie away. In this scene, Lucifer wasn't done showing Charlie his thoughts and dreams, he's still yearning to show his daughter these things at this point.

Lucifer loves his daughter. He loves Charlie so, so, so much. So why wasn't he allowed to build a relationship with his daughter for the longest time? He was waiting for the opportunity to get to know her, but with how much he adores her why didn't he do it sooner? He didn't comment on 'It took you a while-' he just said he missed her smile. They don't want to be pulled apart, again.

Now, we know Vivziepop has said that Lucifer and Lilith love each other, but Lilith 'wears the pants' in the relationship. We see all of the pictures all over the walls of a supposedly happy family. I don't think the relationship was as loving as originally portrayed and Lilith is a woman who desires control above all else. She likely tried to mitigate what influence Lucifer had over their daughter when she thought his angelic thoughts and behaviors became more than what she approved of.

Lets take it back to Adam and Lute for a moment. Again, Adam is a loud mouthed idiot, he's a jerk. The moment he realizes there are demons in heaven, he's ready to go on the attack. It's only because of Lute that he didn't end up doing something absolutely idiotic.

I gotta say, Lute and Adam's relationship is an absolutely fascinating one. He's a disrespectful dick head in how he talks, but how he acts is a different story. He allows Lute to man-handle him. He does listen to her, even if he's a whiny bitch about it.

Look at him, this is the face of a man listening, a dumb one, but a dude listening all the same. He doesn't manhandle her back, he doesn't even pull away until she lets go of his collar. Of all the shit he complained about, between being grabbed and being told what to do, his biggest complaint is that she's telling him to shush.

We know that Adam is the one who suggested the exterminations to begin with, so Sera says, and this was because of the power that Lilith was amassing. To him, Lilith is a threat. Even when he was willing to move on, to go to another wife when Lilith didn't want him or want to submit to him (fair babe, he's a bit of an idiot), she came back with an angel and proceeded to manipulate his new wife Eve. This is the supposed progenitor of man-kind, the original dick (hilariously enough), the reason civilization even exists at all. He and Eve had to fight for their lives after being tempted with the fruit. They had immortality, they had no ideas of shame, they were supposedly 'innocent' creatures before Lilith and Lucifer came along. He and Eve had to fight tooth and nail to survive after being cast from Eden. I think it shows in how willing and ready he is to take lead and do what he believes needs to be done, now out of a need for entertainment rather than a need to defend or protect. But, he still stopped to listen to Lute's advice. In the mythological story of Adam and Eve, Adam is the one who has to tell Eve that god said don't eat the fruit. Eve never heard god speak to her, so she was vulnerable to the snake's manipulations. She will now die because she ate it, and because she did not want Adam to take another wife, convinced him to eat it unknowingly. Funnily enough, Adam tried to explain to god that 'she lied to me and gave me the fruit' and in this actual mythology, Adam was punished for listening to his wife. Even without mentioning Lilith in the original mythology, Eve didn't want Adam to take another wife, so when we consider it within the context of Hazbin Hotel, it may be likely that's how it went down. Eve knew of Lilith, knew that she could be replaced, and decided that she would take Adam with her.

I believe that Adam does and did rely on the women in his life to help him with direction. I think Adam knows he can be an idiot and is willing to listen, even if he doesn't agree with what he's hearing. He did listen to Charlie in the beginning, he just didn't believe in her, like everyone else and he, out of anyone there, probably had the most reason not to. Cain and Abel were his and Eve's sons, his own child became the first murderer. Out of jealousy, the same kind of jealousy that no doubt has caused Lilith to act how she did. Adam isn't going to have empathy for sinners. His family, his legacy, were filled with the original sinners. He probably had to kill his son Cain in hell during the first exterminations. What do you think he would have had to feel, if it came to be a fact that sinners could be redeemed? That maybe his son, could've been redeemed? Or any of his progeny for that matter? How did it feel when his sons, his progeny, weren't given the same mercy as the Hellborn that Lucifer managed to keep protected through some deal with the angels or god? Not to mention that Charlie could've been his daughter. Charlie is the product of the people who completely and totally destroyed the paradise he'd been born into. She's the daughter who is protected and immune from the slaughter while all of his sons and daughters are judged and killed. I believe, even though he was a dickish prankster to Charlie, he was surprisingly patient and even somewhat amicable, willing to even ask her how her weekend was like he was just trying to get to know her.

Adam could just see all of the angels under his employ as being disposable. He doesn't have to name them, or think about them in any individual fashion. But, he knows Vaggie, recognized her instantly. Thought she was badass. Lute's the one who saw her, tore her wings off, and walked away. I'm surprised they even let her live, because this just goes against everything they're doing. They're an army and they saw one of their own showing empathy to the enemy.

Look at this dumb ass. He's being a shit-head, a dick, a bastard. But, he admires Vaggie's ability to pull Charlie, congratulates her, this dude isn't even judging her for being a lesbian. I don't think it's because he objectifies women, this dude loves women, he just does. He respects fellow vagina lovers. I don't think he respects liars in the slightest though. He's being underhanded, he's trying to be manipulative (he's not very good at it). I think he's brutally open and honest about everything and that's probably one of the reasons he's such a bastard anyways, because sometimes you just need to shut-up and he's not good at that.

I don't think he respects Sera for that either, he's more than willing to let others know what the hell he's doing, but under Sera's lead, he can't be open about it. I don't think it's his jam to act this way, it's why he sucks so bad at it and I think that's why Lilith is so antithetical to him. I also think that's why he's possibly even being manipulated.

It's kind of crazy that Adam is the only one who tries to come up with what allows someone to get into heaven. So here's his list: 1. Act Selfless: Maybe at one point he was! He had to have been, to be one of the progenitors of mankind, he would have had to work, sacrifice, and give to his wife and children for them all to survive. Eve would have had to do the same, no doubt. He may not seem selfless, due to his raunchy behavior, but he's served heaven since he's been there. He's served humanity in some kind of facet. 2. Don't Steal: Considering the only other humans are his spawn, he likely had to try and get them to not steal from one another for them all to have an equal opportunity of survival. He and Eve likely both knew they would need to work together to survive.

3. Stick it to the man: This, however, is interesting. Who is 'The Man' he speaks of? God? The only other people over him or were equal to him were women. He speaks like a rocker, and I think in this case he's using the term 'The Man' in a gender neutral way. I think he allowed some amount of Authority to Lilith when they were supposed to be seen as equals, it comes so naturally to him as a character when it comes to the other women he's been interacting with. I think she is the 'man' that he's been sticking it to- Pun somewhat intended. ((This third one may also simply be a tongue in cheek reference to when Alex Brightman played Dewey in School of Rock on Broadway! Thank you to the user who brought this to my attention!))

Adam is a bit of a hypocrite, isn't he? He likes to fuck, he's made that abundantly clear. Full of lust you could say. It was his original purpose after all, and he is judging Angel Dust for something he probably would've done himself at one point or has considered doing (maybe not the having sex with men part). Angel Dust does all of these things, Adam doesn't even deny it. He even looks nervous. He's angry, but doesn't deny that Angel has done those things. He doesn't explain it away or try to lie or move the goal posts, he's just asking what is an actually very valid question.

Why isn't Angel Dust there if he can do things equal to what Adam himself hasn't done? Serenity continues that line of thought. It isn't until Charlie is realizing no one knows what it takes to get into heaven.

Adam is more than willing to let Lute take the lead here, he's willing to give her the stage to clap back, he's giving her back-up antics. By all means, they could be pushing and fighting one another, there could easily be body language expressing something other than their general comfort around one another. They aren't fighting for a spotlight like you'd expect Adam to try and do considering his egotistical attitude.

Adam fucking sucks at keeping his mouth shut and he sucks at lying. He nearly blew the secret out of the bag once, this time, Sera is the only one who tries to stop him and to be honest? Lute looks a bit too thrilled at it. He knows he fucked up, but he doesn't think it's a big deal that anyone would know. For fucks sake, they've already condemned souls, his progeny, to suffer. What's the big deal if he kills them?

I have to re-iterate what's happening here. Charlie is proud she caused this chaos, that she caused these angels to fight amongst themselves, even if in this case it's a good thing. But, this is like history repeating itself to Adam, the reflection of his ex-wife, entering his domain, causing strife among his people, being happy about it.

And the venom he expresses when it comes to the 'liar' portion, god Alex Brightman destroyed when he got to this portion specifically. There is some vehement disgust in his tone when he says liar.

Adam isn't a good person now. But, I think he used to be a good person. By all means, Adam himself could've been the first murderer when his wife made her mistake. He, at one point in time, had to have been good enough to foster civilization itself with Eve. Both good and bad. Adam's original purpose was to be fruitful and multiply. Ordained by god (or maybe just angels) himself, divine power directed and created him to fuck. He didn't chase his ex-wife down, he was given a new one, Lilith was allowed to leave. When he left things alone, when he tried to move on, his ex-wife and a scorned angel destroyed the paradise he was in with Eve. He had to struggle and toil, he had to feel shame in his own body. He had to find out his first born son was the first murderer. His second son killed. We don't know if this is going to be canon in the story, a lot has changed, and if Adam is the first soul who reached heaven, then what did happen to Abel? Was Abel considered a sinner? Or did Cain kill Abel after Adam had passed? Either way, he had to witness his children kill, he had to watch his descendants behave in a range from saints and monsters. He's seen genocides, he's seen famine, war. Adam is desensitized to the plights of his descendants. Maybe he even saw it as a duty to cleanse the universe of their existence at one point, because they were his responsibility.

At the end of this episode, he is properly scolded by Sera and does seem ashamed of himself. He isn't huffy, he is reminded that he should be ashamed of acting that way.

I love Lute's enthusiasm, she's absolutely brutal when talking about Vaggie and with how she handled Vaggie. I think it's funny that Lute is so brutal she's even made Adam uncomfortable. It's cute that he's made uncomfortable by the excitement and all he does is tell Lute, the premier hype woman over here, to chill. She's so proud of herself too, look at her.

He fully expects these exorcist bad bitches to go in there and fuck shit up. But, you know it's hilarious that he's throwing horns? This dude, this angel. First human soul in heaven, loving rock n' roll, the devil's music, and throwing motherfucking horns. It's poetic really. I think we can probably assume where things are going.

Now, this is the first point we've seen Adam being a real piece of shit to Lute. I don't think Adam likes it when people think he's too dumb to notice something, especially something so damn obvious. This is such a drastic moment of vitriolic, uncontrolled anger directed towards Lute. Adam knows he isn't the brightest tool in the shed. He likely knows he's obtuse and misses shit. It's why he sucks at lying, he knows he's not smart. That is why I think he's afforded women opportunities to direct him without fighting back against their advice and their choices. I'm sure Lilith made it obvious how dumb she thinks Adam is. I'm wondering if this might be where their ground breaking fight might've come from. Who's to say he didn't allow Lilith to take the lead, or listen to her like he's done with Lute here and now? Perhaps to an even greater point? He listened to Eve and ate from the fruit of knowledge and he was punished for it. Being seen as so dumb he can't formulate a simple fact is a sore spot for him.

Adam is incredibly powerful. It took a bit out of him to exercise that power, probably because he's out of practice just like Lucifer said. At one point, he probably wasn't so sloppy and weak willed. He's gotten lazy. Sloth like.

I think it got real personal here. How viscerally and personally he attacked Charlie. No one but Charlie truly thought sinners could be redeemed, or that they were even worth it. Not even one of the original sinners. Maybe he never considered the possibility, maybe what happened really did make him see the world as black and white to cope with that happened to him, his wife, his children. Charlie's desire to fight this idea would destroy the foundation for all of his coping through the years. He stopped seeing them as family, even though he's grandiose about his founding role in humanity. Does that itch the guilt that may lurk under the surface?

I don't think Adam thought much of Charlie at all. I don't think he had any intention of coming to kill her in the beginning, despite seeing her, despite who her parents were. But, I think with the constant push, with how eager she was to disrupt the pre-conceived idea of order, it reminded Adam and reflected her parents so much, he was eager to kill her for revenge against them. I think this electrical interference on the mask is a direct reflection of sin. Namely, wrath, in this moment.

Now, this. THIS. Is something that made me want to write this whole fucking essay. Is Lucifer implying that he not only gave Eve the Fruit from the tree of knowledge, but FUCKED HER TOO? Homies, I'm sorry but holy shit. That is some hydrating tea. I'd be pretty pissed too, fucked over twice by women who were supposed to be literal soul mates, who you were made for, who were made for you?

I knew he would have a goatee, I could almost hear it. I gotta say, I'm a sucker for how he looks. I think he's hot. He is a bastard, but so are a lot of the hot dudes in this show. It's just a theme.

This exact series of lines prompted so many of the thoughts that I had about Adam and why he thinks or acts the way he does. At one point, Adam did have to work himself to the bone and learn to survive from scratch alongside Eve. He isn't entirely without cause to not think that he deserves some respect or recognition from his descendants.

But, that doesn't give him the right to act like god himself. It's... well... Blasphemous. Isn't it? One of the worst sins is to think yourself to be worthy of worship, as if you're a god.

This is the moment that gave me empathy for them both. You could probably see the kind of loving person Adam could have been at one point with how he looks at Lute, even as he's laying there, dying. He's not crying like a bitch, just looking at Lute softly. Lute screaming for him, screaming his name. They cared for each other deeply.

And this... and this.... and this. WHAT DEAL DID YOU MAKE, LILITH? Did you make it with Sera? Did you make it with Adam? Did you make it with Lute? Did you really just want a little 'vacay' away from the hell you helped create? Left her husband, depressed and lonely. Left her daughter without any care or guidance. Maybe Alastor was sent in her place, perhaps? Seven years since he was seen after all, but why wouldn't he show up sooner if Lilith did care? Did she make a deal with Lute and Adam? Did she let Adam smash it so she could stay in heaven? Did Lute let her stay in exchange for getting Adam out of a position of power? Or was it maybe Sera who commissioned Lilith with a deal? Either way, I'm in full belief that it wasn't Adam's idea to move the extermination day up. I think he's a patsy, a scapegoat. I think Lute may have been manipulated, potentially, into manipulating Adam into this position. Was it even really Adam who came up with the idea to do the exterminations? Or was he the one who simply decided to fight originally because he was told heaven was at risk due to Lilith's rising power? The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions. I think it could be any number of these. Either way, Lute certainly does think she had authority over Lilith. Is it Lute just having hubris? Or is Lilith truly bound, just like Alastor, Husk, and Angel Dust?

Of course, now that we know a soul can be redeemed... and we certainly know that angels can fall. I don't think this will be the last we see of Adam.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #adam hazbin hotel #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #eve hazbin hotel #lilith hazbin hotel #lilith morningstar #character study

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themaidenofwords · 4 months ago

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Have I mentioned how gut wrenching the slow progression from "Jonathan Sims-- Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London" to "Jonathan Sims-- The Archivist" is?

These are Jon's introductions of himself. He had already had people simply calling him "The Archivist" way back in season one, but he never introduced himself that way. He declared his title of Archivist as what he saw it to be-- a job title and nothing more.

And then we reached season three and there was a gap where we had "Jonathan Sims, former Archivist" and the words were still spoken as one would a job title but with a certain sense of grief that was incongruous with the professional veneer.

And finally, the reveal of what the Archives were and what being The Archivist truly meant happened, and Jon stopped pretending-- even to himself-- that it was just a job. No, he was Jonathan Sims-- The Archivist-- and it was spoken with the gravitas and responsibility of a king's title. It was now part of who he was.

And then, season five, and it's no longer "Jonathan Sims--". It is merely "The Archivist". Because Jon believes his humanity to have died along with the world he was tricked into dooming. His person-hood is secondary-- and can perhaps be considered more of a job title now in a similar way to how Jon referred to being The Archivist in season one. In season five, Jon believes his entire being to have been consumed by the Watcher. The Archives and his job as the Archivist can no longer be seen as a job, or even as a part of who he is, because it is ALL he is. There is no part remaining of Jonathan Sims, because he is The Archivist first and foremost. He doesn't believe his own humanity great enough to be mentioned.

He is, of course, wrong. But it wouldn't be a tragedy if he didn't realize that until it was too late.

#tma #the Magnus archives #tma season 1 #tma season 2 #tma season 3 #tma season 4 #tma season 5 #the Magnus archives podcast #tma podcast #Jon sims #Jonathan sims #character study #statement #tma spoilers

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rootspiral · 2 days ago

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Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 5 part 2

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4])

I was so looking forward to brighten this particular scene, it's the darkest yet and it's such a beautiful one it's a pity to miss even one detail

oh no lilia stop being so cute????

have you ever seen jen with a bigger smile? and she's quiet as usual, it's almost like more than the ride she's enjoying how much fun her friends are having. especially lilia, those two have been forming a bond that is equal parts bickering and a growing respect

I'm just glad alice had this moment of pure unadulterated joy before it came all crashing down

agatha is very, very quiet. despite never letting herself feel anything freely, she takes a moment to close her eyes and enjoy the beauty of it all

she looks back at rio, so sensual and confident

how can kathryn hahn convey so much with so little time? her breath catches at her sight. and then worry and fear take hold and she gives the tiniest shake of her head, as if she's forbidding herself to entertain any kind of thought about rio. she looks away. the blood moon behind her spells disaster

meanwhile billy is that kid who has the time of his life hanging out with the teachers during a field trip

I want to personally thank aubrey plaza for every acting choice she made as rio, but ESPECIALLY for this witchy laugh

(I just brightened the salem seven witch vomiting bees and it's actually pretty impressive! but I don't want to trigger any insect haters around here) (I love insects though so please talk to me about spiders if you want)

they couldn't get a good look at the cabin before rushing in and I couldn't either until now, do we know if it's something from Agatha's past? did she use to live there?

I'm salty that alice had to die in these stupid clothes

So. I think this trial is the most fucked up and humiliating yet. Billy knew nothing about jen except superficial facts, so he put her in a scenario that matched her work aesthetic, more of a personal insult than a wake up call (compare it with the broom lilia just made for her: roots and flowers, something that speaks about jen's work, beliefs and traditions.)

Alice's trial was entirely based on lorna, we know billy is a big fan so he ran with that concept creating something that really shook alice, and not in a good way. she was forced to sit in her dead mom's house and wear her clothes for god's sake. she took it as the Road wanting to teach her a lesson, when it was just a teenager with the grace and subtlety of a newborn puppy.

Now, agatha. billy doesn't know a thing about her because she's private to the point of paranoia. he has gathered that there's something in her past about a dead child and that's probably what makes her grumpy, so he... tried to make her talk to nicky. with a fuking oujia board. Despite having had his share of shock and trauma billy inevitably has a kid's point of view re: death, and even more so because he's functionally immortal. death is something that happens to other people, or far far away in the future. he thinks he's giving agatha much needed therapy, when he actually put a grown woman in child's clothes and made her relive her traumas for everyone to see.

btw I'm not in any way saying that the trials are bad writing. they are brilliant writing. they're just tragic and fucked up behind the funny exterior, just like agatha herself. sorry for the rant.

I mean I wouldn't be opposed to that. we could put billy back in a closet for a little while and get down and dirty with it. and ooh there's a little leaf on rio's shirt, I hadn't noticed it!

jen's retainer always SENDS me

agatha's face when she realizes it's her trial

agatha is irrevocably, eternally linked with death in all its forms

looks like rio is playing along and setting the scene, but she's also doing something more subtle that only agatha understands: she's provoking her, and it's becoming more personal and hurtful. she's testing and punishing more than she used to. she is growing angrier.

agatha wants to tell rio to fuck off but knows she deserves it. agatha is NOT happy to be in this trial for reasons that go beyond what everyone present (except rio) assumes, but she'll bite the inside of her cheeks until they bleed before she shows any of it

the way he says it with a straight face too (again, NO PUN INTENDED. forgive me joe, I would never)

oh great alice has only thirty minutes to live

everyone looks worried and on their guard, rio has her whole knife out, playing along. agatha is STILL trying to look cool and casual, it's painful to watch. girl is panicking, hard

meanwhile billy is always bringing a whole different energy, he's playing and having fun! think back to the second episode when they met lilia and then jen and alice for the first time. billy had no clue about the tension, the fear and hate between them and agatha. right now he's still more excited than scared. he's about to have a rude awakening.