#otherwise im not going to survive
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sexyleon · 2 years ago
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I officially completely unplugged myself as much as I can 🙃🙃🙃 I’m way too reliant on my phone and waiting for people to talk to me is super unhealthy and has made me very anxious. I literally turned off ever single possible notification and will purposefully not be responding to messages because I just need time a space to figure out how to navigate myself without validation from others.
#plz no sexyleon#life update basically#I’ll still be using tumblr and stuff and I’ll probably reply to things on here#but I likely wont be responding to direct messages#I just???? I’m too clingy and needy and I feel reliant on the people I talk to for any sort of social interaction to be happy#I gotta figure it out because my mental health is in the shit and I can’t be reliant on others for stability#and I didn’t even really notice that’s what was happening until all my friends were busy on the same day and I really just needed someone#anywyas sorry this is complicated I just needed to vent in the void#also for my mutuals who I talk to all the time this is why I’m afk and I’m sorry I love you very much I just have to figure it out#why am I insane and hoping people try to reach out to me anyways??? just to say they are here if I need anything?? like I do to them????#idk this is why I gotta stop#im the loneliest bitch in the world but I really can’t be anymore I gotta be alone in this bitch but not lonely#or I need to make friends with my loneliness and we can tackle the world together#otherwise im not going to survive#my anxiety is out of the roof and I constantly feel like I’m having heart palpitations#I literally think I’m going to die sometimes#I used to say I’d prefer the anxiety over the depression because I know how to navigate anxiety#well guess what my anxiety evolved like some sort of mega Pokémon and now it’s kicking my ass and I don’t have any idea how to defeat it#sorry for venting
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mouldywalls · 4 months ago
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being back at school is such hell what the fuck do u mean I can't interact with my special interests all day and i have to talk to people about things OTHER than dan and phil, mcr and anime?????? do u want me dead???????????
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lesbiantrish · 2 months ago
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i think i could heal if people were more crazy about spydoc. btw
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thelien-art · 2 years ago
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Hi I just want to say that I absolutely adore your Caranthir thank u very much for ur contributions have a lovely day <3
Hi, I just wanted to say you just made sure my day was very lovely!! Waking up to this was everything♡♡♡
Have a lil Moryo!
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brandileigh2003 · 14 hours ago
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I'm not looking forward to 8 hours in car and then non child proof house with special needs kid who's been having a rough couple of weeks.
With in laws where I flip a coin whether they're going to be assholes or not.
And I'm still sick with a not so fun new... I don't know what to call it. Not necessarily side effect. Or complication. But. It's freaking embarrassing.
(ha! Tumblr goes... You've reached 30 tags. So write in your post. Not in tags. It's not the p.s.s.s.s. that you used to write to your best friend 😂)
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savage-rhi · 9 months ago
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💙
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siveine · 3 months ago
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i think im so nervous about finishing my contract because i wont know what to do with myself afterwards. like, sure theyve forgotten about me and nearly abandoned me, and im quite literally being used then thrown away, but after i get my discharge papers im going to be without purpose again and i dont know if i can do it a second time
#i dont want to stay in cause fuuuuuck that#if im gonna be a meat shield for corporate interest i might as well go private sector and get paid out the ass for it#but i know im not wanted in those spaces either simply due to being support crew rather than sf or infantry#forced into being a weapon then being expected to be normal#doesnt help that being transgender on top of that means that Nobody wants me around#im scared that im going to be broken and NHP forever even when ive earned my humanity back#i already feel like i never emotionally matured past high school#cause all ive ever known was being property of religious zealots and property of the government#i think i had a two year gap of being a person but otherwise ive just been trying to survive and it shows#at this point the best i can hope for is to distract myself until i keel over from the abuse ive let my body take#which i guess isnt the absolute worst thing ever#like between working with a carcinogen and spilling jp8 on myself and the malnutrition and heavy metal exposure and multiple deaths lol#theres no way im going to be able to grow old#and its going to be painful and slow the whole way down#a part of me wishes that drone turned me into paste#being the lucky survivor is worse i think#im useless and unwanted and that kinda blows?#trying so hard to cling to life but im tired of surviving. i want to live. but im not allowed to#maybe things will improve once my contract expires and i get to have a real name again#i thought these antidepressants were supposed to make me feel better why arent they working
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elytrafemme · 24 days ago
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i tried to be the strong one at age 17 and my alters were trying to be the strong one for me, they always thought i was weak. and now i'm vulnerable and stupid and incapable of doing much at all, i'm so much weaker mentally than my friends. and i just think they'd be disappointed if they saw me. or maybe proud but like, it's not like i can ask. but i have a party tonight. and some work i should do. and i don't want to be a fucking downer. me and klavier always felt like we were both late to the party, to our own party, and i guess in his stead i have to get my shit together and get us there. because some time ago he might have really liked that. and i'll never know.
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arolesbianism · 1 month ago
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I'm brainstorming some more from the top au scenes and I've decided it'd be funny if even though Odile never learns to access to menues to equip them she still obtains memories throughout the game without realizing because Loop never pops up to tell her like they do with Siffrin. Just Loop and Siffrin at the favor tree chatting when suddenly time rewinds and Loop is like stardust wtf? Until a few moments later the new memory pops up and they go oh. Odile. What The Fuck.
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I think I’m going to explode
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I completely understand if the whole QSMP team has a plotline that they want to keep.
But when your players manage to create such compelling bonds and an amazing storyline by themselves, I think it's only logical to work WITH instead of against.
Sure, maybe the eggs were all supposed to die the first week and be like a "lol" thing, they didn't, people got attached to them, the eggs shaped their little corners or gigantic caves in the island, they gave the players a tangible reason to work together and interact (in a particular case Leo was the only interaction Vegetta had sometimes)
Why would you want to throw away such an amazing thing in favor of... What.
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indecisive-dizzy · 4 months ago
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ah hello sun
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qunaributts · 1 year ago
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Begging people to stop asking me how work is as a small talk topic. Bad. It's bad. I hate it and don't want to talk about it.
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leafuxxtea · 10 months ago
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I've been really busy this week so I haven't interacted here much, but holy shit am I having the worst day by far. Can't wait to just go back home and cry again 🥲
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crest-of-gautier · 11 months ago
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got the badges for gone fission evp 400 + evp 600 yesterday! .52 gal, l-3 nozzlenose, dread wringer, and squiffer make for quite the synergistic team!
my peak was EVP 810 (appx 300-310% HL). my high score of 151 eggs was obtained somewhere in evp 300...? i'm pretty satisfied with how it went, even if i didn't get HLM or 9s.
some thoughts/reflections on good freelancing teams/traits to develop when trying to rank up in evp under the cut:
i think grinding this rotation was pretty fun- all of the weapons have excellent mobility and i think they cover for each other really well! the l-3 was not my favorite weapon going into it but i think i really enjoyed the accuracy and mobility of it, so it's a bit more favorable for me now :)
i ended up reaching a skill wall in EVP 760-780 where i could not get past wave 2 or 3 (usually for quota related reasons, the quota is BRUTAL! we'd miss it by like 4-5 ish... ofc this partially relates to how well bosses are handled).
the grind for evp was a mix of freelance and grouping up (freelance for 230 -> 440s, grouping up for 440 - 750~, and then testing myself in freelance for that last bit).
i enjoyed the bits of freelance i did, and from my playtime i think these were some of the key traits/practices that indicate "good salmon run skills" to me:
players that know their weapons role(s) and target the appropriate salmonid (but also being willing to break that when priority targets haven't been taken care of)
knowing when a teammate needs help (with a boss or being revived) or when the teammate has a situation under control (e.g. someone's already on the fishstick, you can do something else)
proactive use of specials when problem targets appear, preferably with no overlap (e.g. tri-strike and inkjet activated on the same flyfishes is not the best)
using specials like booyah bomb, triple splashdown, and reefslider to clear basket area in the last 30 seconds to help eggs get in (especially important past evp 600)
teams that paint the walls first thing (especially whoever had the dread wringer). all interior walls for fission can be painted within the first 10 seconds imo
forwarding eggs closer to the basket after splatting static bosses (throwing one egg, and then swimming up with one)
players with good judgment; knowing when to lure (mostly for initial boss spawns), and knowing when to leave the big shot cannon
being able to figure out which directions snatchers come from and what eggs they can help you collect
i think these practices all stem from having good awareness and being able to collect information about the shift. it helps with making snappy quick-fire decisions, and it just gets more important the higher up in EVP you go. camera positioning/control is essential for this (you can't figure out where bosses/teammates are if your back is turned to them).
for me, every 7-10 seconds, i like to rotate my camera around to the opposite side of where i'm currently looking to make sure there isn't any bosses i'm missing. i'm hardly in one place longer than 5-10 seconds and i try to always be on the move. the spawn direction where salmonids come from are always changing, so it's essential to rotate around the map proactively rather than reactively. i think this also helps a lot with shotcalling in groups too (since you can be someone else's pair of eyes).
other than boss spawns/teammate locations (for revives), i think it's also important to notice when certain bosses haven't been taken care of for prolonged periods of time too, so that a special can be popped. to me it's usually a sign that someone whose ill equipped to deal with that boss has been forced to deal with them because the people with the "right" weapon are focused on something else... (no fault to them, of course, everyone has different priorities and you can't always communicate clearly in freelance)
in situations where squiffers were chased by a pack of scrappers, perhaps a booyah bomb or splashdown can be popped to help if you don't have the time to stun and splat them manually. maybe the fish sticks were left unattended by the shooters, so a triple inkstrike or a crab/inkjet shot can help clear them out.
awareness also extends to meeting quota, which imo involves paying attention to the timer + where eggs are located. i find that it's nice to check in with the timer/quota at 50s and 30s respectively so that you can start forwarding eggs closer to basket. and when everyone's going crazy about quota not being met i try to make sure i'm not overstepping anyone else's egg pile so that no one goes "wait no thats the egg that i wanted to pick up fuck i have to go back and get a different one."
i think this is why sometimes playing in groups is easier. if you have more sets of eyes that you can communicate with, it alleviates the need to have awareness of "everything" (provided that you can comms effectively). someone can be attuned to different things (e.g. my friend always tells us where snatchers come from and if they're good, i'm personally attuned to where people need to be revived, etc.). you also know what specials you have access to, unlike in freelance where you're not sure what others have until they use them.
the other part of completing shifts successfully (to me) is being mechanically sound with your movement, mostly in regards to how you use the terrain (walls) to get around the map and escape situations. the more you play a map the more you'll figure out how you can move around on it.
some examples, using the location callouts from salmonrun.ink: there were a few times i'd go on the harbor but i could escape any salmonids in the bridge area by climbing the walls there and squidrolling out as needed. sometimes on high tide i would swim from the perch to the left plat.
sub-strafing is also good to know too, especially when you want to rapidly collect the basket eggs at the end. i still need to integrate it into other parts of my gameplay, but it's helpful!
uh. this was way longer than intended because i have WAY too many thoughts about salmon run. TL;DR: The key to succeeding your shifts is having good awareness which comes from good information collecting practices, and having the mechanical skill to act on that awareness without hesitation.
there's definitely a lot that goes on in sensory overload the game™, so it will take time to build these muscles and reaction times. i think while at every rank of salmon run you may face a wall of "i'm overwhelmed by the bosses," the exact fix needed to get past it usually varies, so it's important to figure out what information you were missing or what actions you could've taken (more efficient movement or special usage, usually).
or if you're struggling with quota, try to practice forwarding eggs or take a look where snatchers come from (even if people splat them, it's still a good practice 2 develop for later evp. source: i don't fucking do it and it's biting me in the ass)
and most importantly, recognize when you're in the midst of a loss streak/skill wall, so that you can take a break and focus on other things that energize you! even if there's a certain goal you want to meet, grinding for higher levels of EVP and getting better at the game can be a very exhausting process. you can always come back to the grind later, whether if it's after a 30 minute break, or just a different rotation!
#splatoon 3#lizz.jpg#lizz.txt#i did like 93 jobs of this rotation if anyone is curious. average waves cleared 2.2. point card was 31315p#im so normal about salmon run this is my favorite mode in the game that even though i have 2x the hours of my friend she's higher leveled-#in the pvp multiplayer than i am (but also she uses exp tickets and i dont because im a money enjoyer)#honestly i do wonder what i could've done differently with evp 740ish bc i could NOT stick around with a group WHICH IS SO FAIR#though it is a little disorienting to go between 300 to 320 HL with every new group of people HAHA#i do think it's the snatchers i gotta pay more attention to but damn idk when they spawn lol#and maybe my specials could get more value for them. i never go a shift without using them but idk#i think there's also been a lot of dying in general. like 3-5 deaths for everyone so it's def a movement/not keeping up with boss issue#in some form...? so maybe if i get to the point where my specials are back to proactive use and not 'for surviving this first wave'#i'll be golden and good to go for 9s... still very valuable learning experience though!#it would have definitely been easier to get to 9s if i reached certain evp ranks earlier to play with more experienced people but#where is the learning in that? LOL. i just feel like you're really forced 2 confront what you suck at when all the 'good people' are-#already at 9s or some higher VP y'know. and then when you get booted down to a lower VP for the next roto. it feels so much easier#and its like wait! maybe i'm okay at this game actually#anyway i don't think i'll be playing salmon for extended period of time for the next week otherwise im gonna be tetris effect'd LOL
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randomfandomss · 1 year ago
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I'm literally on s8 now I can't believe this, what the fuck
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