#and my friends ask me why i throw myself into work and my mom asks me if 18 credits plus a job is a good idea

[elytrafemme]

i tried to be the strong one at age 17 and my alters were trying to be the strong one for me, they always thought i was weak. and now i'm vulnerable and stupid and incapable of doing much at all, i'm so much weaker mentally than my friends. and i just think they'd be disappointed if they saw me. or maybe proud but like, it's not like i can ask. but i have a party tonight. and some work i should do. and i don't want to be a fucking downer. me and klavier always felt like we were both late to the party, to our own party, and i guess in his stead i have to get my shit together and get us there. because some time ago he might have really liked that. and i'll never know.

[keeryhours]

zombie movies & first kisses - steve harrington

Steve Harrington x female Henderson! reader

Masterlist

Steve Harrington Masterlist

Summary:

Dustin thinks Steve and his sister would make a great couple. They’re both obsessed with each other, they just don’t know it. They just need a little push.

Just first date fluff :)

Warnings:

None, just Steve fluff, kissing, zombie movie references

Word Count: 3.3k

A/N:

Excited to get my first Steve story posted! Joe Keery holds my heart in every role. I hope you enjoy this little fluffy story! Requests are open.

—

“She does not like me.” Steve sighed, scooping the mint chocolate chip ice cream and placing it on the waffle cone. He handed the ice cream to the waiting customer with a forced smile.

“She totally does,” Dustin said with full confidence as he leaned against the counter, watching Steve work. “She has Mrs. Harrington doodled all over her notebooks. I’ve seen them in her room.”

Steve laughed. “For some reason I don’t believe you.”

“Why would I lie about that?” Dustin asked, throwing his hands in the air. “You think I haven’t snooped in her room to find all the embarrassing stuff she writes about?”

“It’s not that I doubt your level of nosiness,” Steve said, moving on to helping the next customer. “I just think you’re lying because you want me to embarrass myself by asking your sister out.”

“Oh my god,” Dustin groaned, getting frustrated with his older friend. “I am not trying to embarrass you. She likes you. You’re practically obsessed with her. You’re both obsessed with each other, really. But neither of you will make a move!”

Steve considered his words as he took another order. “You’re not messing with me? You actually think she’s into me?”

“Dude, I know she’s into you. Just ask her. She might pass out on the spot, but she’ll say yes when she wakes up.”

Steve laughed. “Okay, okay. Maybe when I’m not in this stupid uniform, though.”

Dustin asked Steve for a ride home after he and Robin got off work. Steve agreed, but took the time to change out of his Scoops Ahoy uniform and into a pair of jeans and a shirt with the first button undone before he left.

Steve’s mind was racing as he drove towards the Henderson house, his fingers drumming on the steering wheel nervously. Dustin didn’t miss it, watching his friend with a smile on his face.

When they pulled up outside of the house, Steve was relieved to see Dustin’s mom wasn’t home. She could be a little overbearing.

Steve walked with Dustin up to the front door of the house, following him inside as he let himself in.

You were lounging in the living room, dressed casually in a pair of jeans and a rainbow t shirt that clung to your body in just the right way. Steve gulped when he saw you, his heart rate picking up.

“Hey, sis,” Dustin greeted you, a big dumb grin on his face.

You looked up from the TV, a shy smile spreading across your lips as soon as you saw Steve. You worried all of a sudden that you should have picked a cuter outfit, should have done your makeup.

“Hey,” you greeted your brother. “Hi, Steve.”

Steve smiled at you, and you felt your heart flutter in your chest at the sight of it. He was just so cute, you could hardly handle being around him.

“I’m going to get started on my homework,” Dustin announced before scurrying out of the room before either of you had the chance to say anything. You briefly thought about how it was summer and he didn’t have any homework, but Dustin was always up to something weird so you just brushed it off.

Steve stood there awkwardly for a few minutes before he slowly walked closer. “Uh, how have you been?” he finally asked.

“Good,” you answered. “I’ve been working at the movie theater for the summer.”

“Oh, cool!” Steve said, and he seemed genuinely interested. “Do you, uh…like it?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty cool,” you said. It was pretty cool as far as jobs go, you got to see free movies whenever you wanted and your coworkers were fun. “How’s Scoops Ahoy?”

Steve felt embarrassed at the mere thought of you seeing him in his uniform. “Oh, it’s fine. Free ice cream, you know.”

“That does sound nice,” you said, smiling at him. “I’m glad you like it.”

“Yeah,” Steve said, smiling down at his feet. “Hey, uh, actually,” he began, his eyes moving back up to meet yours, “I wanted to ask you something?”

“What’s up?” you asked, looking at him curiously.

Steve looked nervous, which wasn’t something you had seen very much from him. “Um, I was just wondering, you know…if you’d want to go out with me this weekend?”

Your eyes went wide at his question. “Like- like a date?”

Steve smiled at that - you weren’t outright rejecting him, and you’re just so cute. “Yeah. I was thinking like a date.”

You blushed then, looking down for a minute before you met his gaze again. “Sure. Yeah, I’d love to.”

Steve’s smile grew. “Yeah? How about Friday night? At 7?”

“Sounds good,” you answered, butterflies in your stomach already.

“Well, I’ll see you then,” Steve said, the grin staying on his lips as he turned and walked back towards the front door. “Later!” he called as if both to you and Dustin, before he was out the door.

You waited a full minute after he left before you grabbed a pillow from the couch and pressed your face into it, screaming and kicking your feet.

Dustin came running into the living room.

“Did he do it???”

—

When Friday rolled around, you spent the entire day freaking out about the date. You started getting ready early in the day, starting with a shower, where you took the time to thoroughly shave, not missing a single spot. You dried your hair afterwards and spent ages styling it until it laid just right. You went with a more natural makeup look, which took a lot more time than it looks like. You finally dressed in a short brown skirt and white top.

Dustin was excited for your date with Steve, but even he was at his limit by the time you got ready. He was sick of you staring at yourself in the mirror and asking his opinion on a million different outfit combinations.

When the doorbell rang, you were still looking in the mirror, making last minute touches to your appearance. Dustin answered the door, a huge grin on his face.

Steve stood there, looking nervous and handsome. He wore a button down shirt and jeans, his hair styled perfectly. He held a bouquet of roses in his hand. Dustin just looked at him with that dopey smile on his face.

“Hey,” Steve greeted. “Is your sister ready?”

“Yeah,” Dustin answered, moving out of the way to let Steve inside. “She’s been done for at least an hour already but she won’t stop looking at herself in the mirror.”

Dustin yelled for you as he followed Steve into the living room. Your heart beat hard in your chest as you took one last look in the mirror before leaving your room.

Steve’s breath hitched in his throat when he saw you - you always had that kind of effect on him, but you looked especially beautiful tonight.

Steve told you so as you approached, and you smiled and blushed as you took the bouquet from his hand. Your fingers brushed against his as you took it, and it sent jolts of electricity through your whole body.

You brought the flowers to your nose, smelling them - they smelled lovely, fresh - before you said, “I should go get these in some water,” and scurried off to the kitchen.

Steve could hear the sound of water running moments later, and Dustin would not stop smiling at him like a crazy person. You were back before they knew it, smoothing down a piece of your hair as you walked.

“Ready to go?” Steve asked, holding out his arm for you.

You smiled as you linked your arm with his, and then the two of you were headed towards the door.

“You kids have fun! Don’t do anything too crazy!” Dustin called after you.

You rolled your eyes but laughed as you left the house. Steve smiled and shook his head, leading you towards his car parked against the road.

He opened the passenger door for you, and you smiled at him as you climbed in. You buckled your seatbelt as he walked around the front of the car, and you couldn’t help but admire just how handsome he was as he walked in front of you.

He climbed into the driver’s seat next to you, giving you a quick smile before he got himself buckled and started the car. He turned some music on, quiet enough that you could talk over it.

“So, where are we going?” you asked him as he pulled onto the road and began driving.

“I was thinking we could grab something to eat and see a movie? That is if you’re not tired of movies, working at the theater and all,” he said, suddenly second guessing his choice of a date.

“I don’t think I could ever get tired of movies,” you said, reassuring him. “I actually haven’t even seen one in a while.”

Steve smiled, your words making him feel better. “Well, good. I thought we’d see the movie first so we could talk about it over dinner.”

You smiled at the thought he’d put into this, the butterflies in your stomach going crazy. You resisted the urge to reach out and touch his hair.

The drive to the theater wasn’t long, its proximity to the house was a factor in you applying there in the first place since you didn’t have a car yet. Steve pulled into a parking spot, killing the engine and turning to you.

“We have options,” he said, before he began listing all the different movies playing.

“Day of the Dead!” you exclaimed when that option came out of his mouth. You didn’t need to hear any more. “I’ve been dying to see that one.”

Steve smiled. “Yeah? You’re into horror movies?”

“They’re my favorite,” you said, which made his smile grow wider.

“That’s cool,” he said genuinely, and then he was climbing out of the car, quickly jogging to your side to open your door before you could do it yourself. You couldn’t help but giggle at his effort. He was being so cute, a total gentleman.

“Plus I can hold you if you get scared,” he said, grin still on his lips as you took his hand and climbed out of the car. “Or you can hold me if I get scared.”

You laughed, which only made him smile bigger.

The two of you walked towards the ticket counter, and Steve bought and paid for your tickets. Your friend and coworker, Alice, was working the ticket counter, and she gave you a sly grin as she handed the tickets over.

“Have fun, you two,” she said, with an obvious double meaning to her words. You blushed, knowing there would be questions at work. Steve didn’t miss the teasing, either.

He encouraged you to pick whatever you wanted from concessions. You got a large popcorn to share, you each got a soda, and you both picked out your favorite candies. You weren’t sure if he was going to be paying, so you brought money with you, but Steve didn’t even hesitate to pay for everything himself.

Steve had the huge tub of popcorn and a million snacks balanced in his arms as you carried the two drinks to the theater. You were relieved that it wasn’t crowded, and you found two seats together towards the back that gave you privacy and had a great view of the screen.

You got settled next to each other, drinks in the cup holders and snacks distributed between you, and you realized just how close he was. His knee brushed against yours, the rough feeling of his jeans against your bare skin sending chills through your body.

The movie began, and you shared the popcorn, your hands brushing together whenever you’d reach for some at the same time. It would send a jolt through your body, and the way his eyes would dart to yours made your heart speed up.

You were loving the movie, it was just as good as you had hoped. About halfway through, Steve shifts closer to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. It’s the oldest trick in the book, but it makes you smile, and you shift further into his embrace, which makes him squeeze your shoulder.

You have an even better time watching the movie snuggled up against Steve’s side. You take in just how good he smells, something you had never thought about before, but of course he was perfect in every way.

By the end of the movie, your nerves had gone, comforted by the feeling of being pressed up against Steve. It felt right, like it was where you had always belonged.

“What did you think?” Steve asked as the credits rolled and the lights came back on in the theater. He gathered up the trash from your snacks.

“I loved it,” you answered honestly, standing as he did. “The special effects were so cool.”

“Definitely,” Steve agreed with you. “That part where they pulled that guy apart was crazy.”

The two of you left the theater, dropping your trash in the can on the way out. As you walked together out of the building, Steve reached down and grabbed your hand, intertwining your fingers. It surprised you, but you certainly didn’t mind, holding his hand back and smiling to yourself.

Steve opened the door for you again before he climbed in on his side. You had been chatting about the movie since it ended, both of you having enjoyed it a lot.

Steve began driving again. “What are you in the mood to eat? I had somewhere in mind, but if you want something specific, we could go anywhere…”

“I’m sure whatever you picked out is perfect,” you gripped his hand over the center console, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

He smiled back at you. He loved the way you always put him at ease, even when he was so nervous about impressing you.

Steve pulled into the parking lot of a steakhouse. Not too fancy, but not super casual either. Despite the theater snacks, you felt your stomach grumbling at the idea of getting something good to eat.

“They have all kinds of stuff here, if you’re not into steak,” Steve said quickly as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

“I’m a big fan of steak,” you laughed. You were already thinking about what you’d order.

You waited for Steve to come around this time because you knew he’d want to open your door for you. He helped you out again, and the two of you walked hand in hand into the restaurant.

The hostess greeted you both with a big smile. “Just 2?” she asked, which Steve confirmed. She led you to a booth, giving you both a menu.

“This place is nice,” you complimented as you opened up your menu, examining the many options.

“Yeah, I’ve been here with my parents a few times, it’s good,” he said, looking over his own menu before he looked at you again, smiling. “Never brought a girl here, though.”

Knowing you were the first girl he’d brought on a date here made you feel something. You didn’t consider yourself to be a jealous person, but you had been jealous when Steve dated Nancy. You didn’t love the idea of Steve with other girls, so the knowledge that this was new territory for him too made you smile.

Your waiter came by and took your drink orders. You looked over the menu for a while longer before you were satisfied you knew what you wanted.

You were in a deep discussion about the movie when the waiter came back to take your orders. You ordered a steak, of course, with fries. Steve ordered the same thing, shooting you a smirk.

“You look beautiful tonight, by the way,” Steve complimented when your plates were placed in front of you. “I think I already said that tonight, but I couldn’t tell you enough times.”

You blushed as you looked down at your food. “Thank you,” you said. “You look really handsome. I mean, you always do.”

Steve smiled bigger at that, beginning to cut up his steak. “I always do, huh?”

Your blush grew deeper. You didn’t mean to make it sound like you had been obsessed with him, even though you have.

“You always look beautiful,” he added softly.

That made your heart flutter in your chest. He had noticed you. You always thought he didn’t know you existed.

You ate together, talking about the movie, other movies you liked, how your summers had been going, all kinds of things. Steve made you laugh a lot. He was so naturally funny, and he’d really become more of himself since school ended. He didn’t care so much about being popular and impressing his friends and looking cool. He just cared about being authentic.

When dinner was over, Steve got the check before you even had a chance to see how much it was. You offered to pay half, but he shut you down quickly.

Back in the car, he drove with one hand, intertwining his free hand with yours over the center console. You sang along to music together on the way home, and you thought this may have been the best night of your life so far.

Steve pulled up outside your house, turning the car off.

“I really had an amazing time,” he said, turning to look at you. “You’re so great to spend time with.”

You smiled at him, your cheeks heating. “I had an amazing time too, Steve.”

Steve grinned at you. He placed a hand gently on your cheek, his thumb caressing the soft skin there.

“You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen…” he mumbled, almost as if only to himself.

You didn’t know what to say to that. You didn’t think he could have possibly meant it, but his face and eyes show only sincerity. It makes your heart thump harder in your chest as you look into his eyes.

He leaned in, slowly, giving you ample time to push him away. You don’t, of course. You never realized how kissable his lips were until you were this close.

His lips pressed against yours, and they felt so soft. You practically melted into his kiss, your lips moving against his as you kissed him back eagerly. He led the kiss, being more experienced than you were, you gladly let him.

You could have kissed him all night, you think, but your mom was home now and she’d be coming out to check on you if you lingered in the car for too long.

Steve finally pulled away, looking at you with adoration in his eyes. His thumb traced over your lips, wet from his kisses.

“I want to see you again,” he said, his eyes finally moving from your lips back up to your eyes. “Soon.”

“I’d like that,” you said. You were surprised how weak your voice sounded, you cleared your throat.

“Are you free tomorrow?” he asked.

“Tomorrow?” you raised your eyebrows. “Uh…yeah. I’m off work tomorrow, too.”

Steve smiled. “Good. Me too. I’ll come pick you up at around 12, yeah?”

“Sounds good,” you smiled.

Steve opened your door for you one last time before he walked you to your front door. He leaned in and placed one more quick kiss to your lips. “See you tomorrow,” he said.

“See you tomorrow,” you echoed back to him, and then you let yourself into the house, giving him a little wave as he turned to walk back to his car.

You sighed as you entered the house, feeling like you’d been holding your breath all evening. You couldn’t wipe the dreamy grin off your face.

The living room lamp turning on and Dustin speaking nearly made you jump out of your skin.

“Tell me everything.”

[spidybaby]

Not The Romantic Type | Part Three

Part One | Part Two

"Aren't you nervous?" Fer asks, hands busy helping Pedri fix his smoking. "I'm about to colpase from the excitement."

"I feel like I'm going to cry myself to sleep, but in a bad way, I can't believe that I'm actually on the top three to get this."

If you ask him, only in his dreams, he was able to be on the top three of the most likely to get the ballon d'or.

He improved so much over the years that he worked more on perfecting his game to be able to classifie into the best players.

He remembered the Golden Boy award, Messi won one before winning his ballon d'or. Now he's following into his idol footsteps.

"Mom wants a picture of you on the suit." Fer says as he snaps a picture of him. "Venga, let's go get some food, we still have that meeting with the constructor."

Pedri thank the designer, changing into his normal clothes back to meet the new contractor.

Fer and him are partnering in a restaurant, he trusted his brother as a chef for his whole career. It was obvious he was trusting him with something this big.

"We need an interior designer." The constructor tells them. "I know you have a vision of how you want this to look like. However, I feel that with a little help and more inspiration we can make this amazing."

"Vale, if you think it's what we need, then let's do it!" Pedri says excitedly. "Fer will be the one meeting up with this person since I'll be at the field."

"No problem, I think my girl will be the one. Not that I'm talking bad about the guy, but she's just a star when it comes to modern luxury style."

"Perfecto!" Fer smiles, "Let's meet up with her, I'm so excited."

Pedri was excited about everything, the ceremony in France, the new project, the possible winning of the Champions League.

He was focused on the field and nothing else. That's why Fernando decided to be the caregiver or the project, so Pedri would be all into his element.

The dressing room was euphoric, the players happy about winning the semifinals, they're playing the final at home.

"Visca al Barca" Gavi yells.

"Visca al Barca" they all second.

"And let's all celebrate to our next Ballon d'or, the magician Pedri." Ter Stegen shakes him. "Vamos Pedri!"

They throw all the water they can at him, making him smile and laugh at how much support he has from his friends. His second family.

After the celebration Ferran invited Pedri to a little party he planned. "No lo sé, tiburón. I'm kinda tired and I have to meet with the designer to measure the tux"

"A little party never killed nobody." Ferran insisted, but he denied. He needs rest and peace.

"Vale, pero me lo debes." He hugs him tight. "See you around, pepi."

He drives home, passing in front of the place where the restaurant will take place. He can't help but feel pride, this feels like an extension of their parents' hard work.

Fer was laying on the couch, checking some ideas the ID (interior designer) sent them.

"Hola, tonto." Pedri pulls lightly his brothers hair. "Are those the ideas this girl sent you?"

"Si, look at this, I love this idea she has." Fer pass him the iPad. He sees the ideas, loving all of it. "She's amazing, first thing and I'm already in with everything."

"Yes, this is cool." He checks everything, loving every idea. "When are you meeting her?"

"I think tomorrow." Fer gets up, walking to the kitchen and pulling out food. "But don't worry, I'll update you on everything."

✨️✨️✨️

"So, as you can see here." The constructor pointed to the ceiling. "We thought about lighting that can be dimmed as the sun light goes down."

"My brother and I loved that idea, specially because we have that at home recently installed and I think it will go so well."

"Perfect, our designer will come any minute now, she told me traffic was hectic and she was just a block away but stuck."

"It's okay, I get it. It took me an hour and a half to get here today, so I can't blame her." He laughs, interrupted by his ring tone." Excuse me for a second."

The constructor kept looking at his structure with your design. The sound of heels makes him turn, you were walking fast while holding your iPad and a few more things.

"I'm so sorry, Marc." You apologize, leaving your things on the desk. "I think today is not my day. Is the client mad?"

"Not at all, Y/n." He pats your back. "He's an amazing dude, super relaxed. You will hit it off real quick."

You smile relief. You didn't want to lose this client, specifically because Marc told you they wanted to expand if the first restaurant goes well, meaning you will expand with them.

"Let's meet him them." You nervously giggle. "What's his name again?"

"Fernando, he's a chef."

Before you can even connect the dots, Fer walks into the room, saying goodbye to the person on the line.

"Fernado, so nice you're bac. This is our interior designer, Y/n."

You smile at the sight of him. Haven't seen him since the breakup. He has more facial hair, and he's stronger and definitely more mature looking.

"We know each other." You smile, still surprised at his presence. "We go way back actually."

Fer is as astonishing as you are, opening his arms to greet you into a hug. "It's been a long time no see." He laughs, hugging you tight. "Gosh, I can't believe you're our designer."

"I can't believe you're my clients." You laugh. "Let's leave the talk for later, I want to explain this to you, and then we can use the time."

He nods, letting you explain every part of your ideas. He can't deny that even if it wasn't you, he loves the ideas and can't think of any way to make it better.

You ask him about colors, measurements, textures, and different stuffs you will need to prepare yourself for your work.

"Perfect! We can't say that this meeting was a success." Marc happily says. "I'll keep working while you two chat a little, excuse me." He wayves goodbye while Fer and you say goodbye.

"Entonces," Fer says, picking your side like he used to. "You're a well-known designer." You nod, smiling.

"And you're a well-known chef, Mister González." You laugh. "It's so nice to see you. How have you been?"

"It's been good, I'm older but I think wiser." He hands you your iPad. Helping you with some things. "What about you?"

"I mean, you can tell how I am. I got my dream job and I feel like nothing can go better than this." You shrug.

Fer wants to ask. He needs to ask if you have someone or not, but he doesn't want to intrude into your private life.

"So, how's the family?"

"They're good, nothing to report." You nod. "What about your family? How are Rosy and Fernando? How is the Tasca going?"

You can't help but miss them, specially Rosy, she acted like a mother to you, always worrying about you, taking care of you when you were sick.

"Mom and dad are so good. They are healthy." He smiles at the thought of them. "The Tasca is doing good. This is a little extension of it, but bigger."

"I'm so happy for you, Fer." You hug him, happy about him, making his dream of having his own restaurant come true. "How is Pedri?"

Fer is speechless, he didn't think you will ask about him, not after the way you two ended things.

"Bueno, no le va mal." He laughs. "He's on top three to win the ballon d'or, Barcelona is on the UCL finals, la Liga finals. He's at the top."

You smile, you're happy he is getting all the awards he deserves. He's always been amazing at his job.

"I'm happy for him." You nod. "Even tho I haven't really been aware of the team. I've been busy lately."

"Maybe you can catch up, he's also in this with me." Fer smiles as big as he can "and he's single." He elbow you.

You laugh at this, blushing a little at the confession. You did hear some rumors about him and some girls, deep down wanting for it to be just that, a rumor.

"Don't know why that's important." You giggle, looking down. "We been over for a long time now."

"Well, if you want him back, he's available to be picked."

"Fer." You laugh. "He wouldn't pick me, specially with all the girls he's probably getting." You look away while saying that.

He always got girls, and nobody could deny that. In your mind, they were girls who were hotter than you, prettier than you, more experienced than you.

That was something that made you feel insecure, not that he was engaging with them in any way, he always ignored them or just straight up blocked them.

But you had that little insecure voice from time to time that told you that he had better options and that you needed to step up.

"Don't say that." He says in a serious tone. "You were the best thing Pedri had."

Fer wasn't lying. After you left, Pedri went down a very dark path. He was going out, drinking, bringing girls home.

Everything to make him forget about you. Girls who looked nothing like you, who acted nothing like you.

Girls who went after his money and his fame. They were doing everything they could to show they were with The Pedri from Barcelona.

You on the other side, always made sure to be cautious about not getting recognized. You never wanted the attention that came with being his girlfriend.

You were with him since he was that Canarian guy at Las Palmas, that skinny boy who made it big.

You were there before the fame, before the fans, before the name. But you were his past.

"If you say so." You exhale. "I will send you a virtual look of everything with all of the things you picked."

The change of subject makes Fer think you may not be as interested in his brother as he thought you would be.

Maybe you moved out and didn't want to let it out. Maybe you changed your likes and now you're not up for a footballer.

"Thank you, I'll see you here next time I pass by?"

"You will, I'll be here a lot more."

With a hug goodbye you both walk out to your cars. You wave him as you enter your car, getting a honk from him.

Fer can't even believe the picture he's seeing. He thought Pedri was being honest with him when he said that no more one night stands with random girls whom the club invite to their parties.

He can't help but feel embarrassed about talking to you all this past days about how much Pedri would love to have you back.

But now his little brother is on all the magazines and gossip news of Barcelona and Spain as a taken man by this random influencer who obviously posted more about being at the party.

One part of him can't blame Pedri, he was in a committed relationship since he was sixteen, he obviously went out and went crazy after the break up.

But six years later was a little too much for him to keep his crazy behavior. He had a chance of winning the girl of his dreams back.

Fer can't help but think about you. If you see this news and pictures, you will definitely think all he's been saying is a joke and that he's playing with your feelings.

And how right he was, you can't help but feel anger. He's been spending all this time changing topics to Pedri.

"Pedri was busy but says hello."

"Oh Pedri can't wait to be here to see you."

"When you're back together, I'll be the happiest brother in law you will ever have."

Was he teasing you?

You don't even want to go to work today. You want to call in sick and spend all day in bed thinking about how stupid you are for believing Fernando's words.

But you won't. The breakup didn't stop you back then, and it won't now.

You will walk with your head up, ready to work in your nice outfit. You won't mind, you have so much to lose, he already lost you.

He lost you.

You didn't lose him.

"Buenos días!" You say, giving Marc his favorite coffee order as usual. "Any news I should now?"

"Well, the Calcutta Gold Marble is taking longer than expected but after that nothing to worry about."

You nod, leaving your things at your little station. "As always with Calcutta."

"By the way, Fernando was looking for you. He's outside talking with David." You nod, thanking him and walking to where Fer is.

You know he's about to mention the picture. He can't help it but be so obvious about things. But you will change the subject as much as you can't.

"Hey, boss." You smile "heard you wanted to talk to me."

"Hey, how are you?" He plays with his necklace.

"I'm good. I had a very nice sleep." You smile. "I want to tell you, the Calcutta Gold Marble we picked for the bar area is taking more time. Don't worry about it. That's normal with that material, but just a heads up."

He half smiled, not sure how to approach you. He wants to say sorry. He wants to kick his brother.

"I'm sorry." He spat, can't even think straight due to the blame he feels. "You probably saw the picture and -."

You sigh, not wanting to have this conversation this early. "Fer, let's focus on what we need to focus."

"I just feel like I need to apologize."

"You don't. Let's move to what's important here. Your restaurant."

He understood quickly, not bringing the topic again. That made you relax. Before this project you were fine not thinking about Pedri. You are fine now.

You focus on making this project happen. You wanted Fer to have the best reaction when he sees his project finish.

✨️✨️✨️

"So, are you nervous about tomorrow's match?" The press guy asks him. "It's the finals for the UCL, and then you have to go to France for the Ballon D'or. You have a pretty crazy schedule."

"Bueno, I think I've always had a crazy schedule." He laughs, making the interviewers laugh too. "But I'm not nervous, I trust my team, I have a big trust in all the work we've been doing. We trust out Mister, so to me it's about focusing on staying healthy, making goals and winning."

"Walk us through the process you have for your next trip to France."

"Joder, it's not that much. If I'm honest, I have the tux, have the shoes, have my family, don't think I need anything else."

"Pedri, we got many requests to ask you if you don't walk with a ballon that night, will we see you walking with a special someone?"

He half smile at that question, knowing he fucked up by getting too close to María at the party.

"I don't have a girlfriend. If that's what you're asking." He shrugs. "I'm single. And probably the only lady I will be going to hug during the ceremony and after is my mom. Thank you."

He walks away, mad at himself for allowing this to happen again. He knows this girls just want the hype attached to his name. Specially now, with all the winnings of the club.

"Dude, you okay?" Gavi asks, noticing his frown. "What did they say?"

"They asked if I'm walking out that fucking auditorium with someone, es una putada, I will celebrate the week I don't get linked with some random girl."

Gavi lift his eyebrow. "Si, but the rumors don't just appear." he scuffs and turn to his locker.

"What do you mean?"

"Pedri, you used to be out and about with a different girl every other week. You flew this girl to Manchester. When you came back, you had this other girl in a new hotel. You're doing this to yourself."

He can't even argue because it's true. He did all those things. He flew all these girls. He fucked up his reputation.

"Me cago en la puta." He threw the towel at the inside of his locker. "I just wish I can have some fucking privacy."

"Then don't involve yourself with girls who only care to expose that they're with you." He hits him with his jersey. "Dude, you can go out and find a nice girl who will want a relationship and not just sex and a picture."

He nods, stresses about the topic already. Gavi is right. So is Ferran when he advise him not to mess with every girl that flaunt at him.

And when Fer tries to get some sense into him finding someone to settle to. Someone who will be happy to welcome him after a long day, someone who wants to grow a family with him.

He doesn't want that. Not without you.

He agreed to move out that day when you asked him to be happy, to find someone who would celebrate all his victories.

But he had that. He had you.

He lost you.

The game was about to finish, the extra time about to finish.

The Bayern had a corner. So they have to step up and prevent them from scoring. Just two minutes more and that's it.

"Vale, a ver." He yells, catching up the attention of the players near him. "Marc, just this cover up and the Champion is ours, please catch it." He makes them laugh. "Fermin, cover Davies. Gavi, cover Saliba. I'll cover their number 10."

They all nod, positioning themselves. They were nervous, this was their chance. This was their final chance.

When Marc let the ball go, Gavi was at the right place at the right time. He hit the ball with his feet, making it go out of the goalkeeper area.

Raphinha runs away with it. Getting the ball as far as possible from their area. Just when he's trying to make a assist to Pau, the referee blows the whistle.

Pedri runs to Gavi and Fermin. Hugging them while screaming. The public was as static as they are, cheering for them.

They won. They got the Champions League.

He look over at where his family is, they're screaming and jumping. Everybody is, the whole stadium is.

Running to his parents open arms. He can't help the tears of happiness as he hugs his family.

Feeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr added to his story

You are happy for him, you can't lie to yourself like you do to other people.

You feel proud, he got everything he ever wanted, he got la liga, he got the Champions and he's probably will get the Ballon.

And he did what you asked him to do. He got himself someone to celebrate all that with. Someone who will make him happy.

The sour taste in your mouth haven't left since you saw that picture of him with that girl at the party.

He left you behind, like you asked him to.

You tried to focus on the work you were doing, turning the tv off to pay more attention.

You can't, your mind goes back to the way things used to be. He made mistakes, and you accepted all those mistakes because you loved him.

While he is at his party, with his family and his new girl. You are trying to forget about the memories of him.

You fix all the things Fer asked you to fix in the design, making the things he wanted as similar as possible as he explained.

You texted him, asking him if he was able to come see you to approve everything so you order the material.

Fer answers you while he opens the door of his home. He was still ashamed about the picture situation. He could sense the change in your attitude before and after that picture.

"I need your help, I don't think I can walk upstairs by myself." Pedri whine, he drank more than he should, making him dizzy.

Fer helps him, carrying him while walking upstairs. "Pedri. You need to help me just a bit."

He feels bad, he doesn't want to celebrate alone. All his teammates with their partners and kids and he's alone.

Yes, he has his parents, his brother, this family and friends. But he needs a hug at night when he gets insecure. He needs a shoulder to cry.

He craves intimacy, not sexual intimacy. He wants to feel secure with someone to the point of trusting all his worries and deepest secrets.

He wants someone to know his family, to sit at his parents' table and have a relationship with them.

"I'm sad," he confess. "Am I allowed to be sad?"

Fer can't even understand where this is coming from. He never saw signs of Pedri being sad or never heard anybody telling him to suck it up.

"Pepi, you can be sad." He reassured him. "Why are you sad? Tell me"

Pedri just shakes his head, not even sure how to approach the topic. "I miss my life back when I was twenty."

Fer understood, his brother carries a lot of responsibility on his shoulders, especially now with the whole <he needs to bring the ballon d'or home just like Messi>

"How can I help you, pepi?"

"If you have a magic wand that can bring me back to when I was happy and didn't have to fuck a girl every night to feel something, please use it."

He frowns, not sure how to reassure his brother. He knew Pedri felt alone. He can tell. He told him off about his sex life.

Not shaming him, but making him understand that the pattern he was following was not healthy at all.

"I can help you by not leaving you alone." He hugs him, pating his back lightly to calm him down. "I'm here, always will."

He helps Pedri take his clothes off and get into bed, he wants to check him in case he feels down again.

Once Pedri is passed out, he tries to plan something, how can he help him?

He picks his phone to text his mom that they're home. He sees the last text he sent is to you. The light bulb on his head turns.

He can help him, he's not with anyone, not that girl at the party and is done with the playtime every other week.

If he asks him to go to the meeting and approve the things you need, you can meet and reconnect.

He just needs his brother to be ready tomorrow to meet you. He knows he still thinks about you, and you might still do the same.

He texts you, asking you to meet at four p.m., by that time his brother will be up and fresh to see you.

Feeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr added to his close friends

"I don't even want to be near a drink in my life." Pedri makes a disgusted face, he needs a whole gallon of water.

"Finish the drink so we can go."

The drink looks bad, very bad. Even tho it was just a tea with no sugar. "Maybe I'll just go brush my teeth."

Fer feels excited. He wants his plan to go well. He's anxious but happy. He knows it's about time you two make a move and solve what needs to be solved.

"Vamos, big head." Pedri smack the back of Fer head. "You drive, I can't do nothing yet."

The trip was not as long as usual. The streets were lonely and Fer was driving slowly. He confirmed you were coming before leaving the house.

When he parked, he noticed Marc's car parked in front of the building. To his luck, the parking lot was being modified, so he needed to park in the nearby building.

"Oye, I'll find somewhere to park. There's a little office, white door to the left. Wait for me there."

He does as he's told, walking with his head down. Still feeling the pain from all the drinking he did.

"Hola?" He asks, opening the door a little before entering.

He looks at all the things on the walls, the chair textures, the floor wood, the bar design, the lamps options.

He's in love with all the ideas, with the little real-life version of what the restaurant will look like. With the little pink pen notes the designer left. The door opening can't bother him. Looking at all the planning that they made in so little time.

You can't even blame him, you weren't paying much attention either. Focusing on answering Marc's text about something related to a change that needed to he approved as soon as possible.

"Hola Fer. Sorry I haven't gotten a chance to greet you properly. I've been so busy with all this little things."

You open your bag to search for your iPad, wanting to show him everything quickly to move out and not waste more time.

Pedri turns quickly, the sound of your voice amazes him. You're there after so long. After all this time.

"Hey about the Marble, I think it's best if we just switch the whole piece. This is taking so long." You won't turn, he won't say a word. "Fer?"

The two of you are just standing there, looking at each other, no words in between. Nothing.

Pedri thought a lot about what would happen if he ever saw you again. Definitely all that planning went out the window the second he heard your voice.

You practice too, what if you find him in a bar some day in Barcelona? You wouldn't mind it. But you're minding it very well.

"Hola." You finally say, voice breathless and gone.

His eyes are rooming you up and down. He can't help but point at every little detail that's different about you, different in a good way. You feel the heat coming up your cheeks. He's there, looking more mature, more handsome.

You shake your head, you have one job to do, getting the changes approved to the project move forward.

"Is your brother coming? Because I really need him to approve this for me." You grab your iPad, tying to look uninterested.

"Oh, I can approve it." He extend his hand and you hand him the device. "Just explain to me what this is exactly?"

While you explain every little detail about the changes, showed him how it was before to compare and to see if he likes it.

He likes everything, but there's something about the way you talk, something about the way you smell, you didn't change that perfume you love.

"I like your hair." Your hair is longer. He loves that. You always talked about wanting to let it grow to try new hairstyles.

You smile, the closeness not helping the situation. "Thank you." You say softly.

You might act calm, but from the inside, you're about to burst because of the way he looks. It's a good thing he changed his style.

Also his perfume, he's using the same perfume you gave him once, he didn't change it. And that facial hair is gone, he's shaved and clean.

"Do you like how everything is, or do you want to make any more changes?" You ask, trying to act professional.

"I mean, you're a star. This looks amazing." He praise you. Making you feel a wave of pride. "Fer will love this."

Your smile grows, you're happy he likes the changes. But you like even more the way he's praising you work like never before.

"So how are you?"

You close the iPad, sending Marc an "approval" copy of the digital prototype. "I'm good, been working hard and I've been busy with it." You shrug, not sure what else to say. "Congrats on the UCL, I heard you guys won."

He smiles, winning the game with his two goals was more than he ever expected. "We did, thank you."

"two goals huh?" You tease him. Feeling a little confident.

He rolls his eyes playfully. Laughing at your teasing. "I'm kind of proud of that, I'm in my Messi era? Or something like that."

You both laugh, you missed this, miss having someone to joke to. You back away from his circle, haven't seen his friends since then, when you are in Tenerife you won't go to his parents Tasca.

You missed having someone from your past in Barcelona. Someone who knew you before the city, someone who knew you as well as he did.

"That's great." You pat his arm. "I guess I'll see you around." You walk with him to the entrance. "Tell your brother I'll text him, I still need to show him some things."

"Sure, if not, you can text me. It won't hurt if I get a little more involved." He throws the jab at you, noticing your little lip smile.

"I'll ask your brother to send me your number." You say, stopping in from of the exit door. "Bye." You walk over the construction area, he can't keep his eyes away from you.

When he's out, Fernando is waiting for him in his car, the smile he has, knowing what he did. He acts as if nothing happened, he couldn't find parking and wait for you.

"Hey, was everything looking good?"

Pedri scuff, shaming his head while smiling. "Hijo'puta" he jokes, hitting him in the head. "You didn't told me she was here"

"I wanted to surprise you."

"Joder, she looks beautiful. Her smile hasn't changed at all, and her eyes, mierda, are shining like crazy."

Fernando is happy hearing Pedri talk about you, he haven't seen him this happy in a long time. Haven't talk about anyone like this in a long time.

"Her perfume, Dios mio. She hasn't changed that perfume, the same since we met." He's still rambling about you. "You didn't tell me, why?"

"I thought it was for the best, plus you were finding out once you started coming."

"Would it be crazy if I confess that I might be in love still?"

The smile on their faces is comical. Fer knew he never forgot you, and Pedri was just admitting it out loud.

"No." He laughs. "You have one more chance, dude. Don't blow it."

And he doesn't.

Every chance he gets now, he will visit the place. He will be there even tho there's nothing of interest happening.

He loves making small talk with you. Having you explain everything you do or everything you order.

It's weeks and weeks of him doing this, bringing you a coffee or drink every time. You can't help but smile at him, still remembering your order of drink.

Also if he has training in the evenings, he will bring you something to eat for lunch. Worrying because you don't give yourself a little break. In his words.

"This is what I was telling you the other day. If you put this on the bar, it will look better than this other one." You show him, thinking he's playing attention.

"Let me take you out on a date."

You smile, not sure what to say. You want to accept, you still have feelings for him. But you don't want to feel what you used to feel when you were with him.

"Please, I know a place you would love."

"Pedri, I don't think it's a good idea. We are working together and if this doesn't go well its just going to be awkward for us."

"It will not, please just give me a chance." he beggs, grabbing your hands. "If you don't like it or you don't feel good I promise I will back off."

His hands on yours, thumbs caressing your fingers. You want to say no, not repeating the pattern. But you want to give him the chance his asking.

"Vale, but you have to promise me that you won't wear those ugly skinny jeans."

He laughs, he knows how much you used to hate those kind of jeans. Always asking him to let you into his closet to get rid of them.

"If you want to you can dress me, I'll be Ken and you can style me all the way."

You shake your head no while laughing, "I don't think you'll like me throwing half your closet."

If you had. A chance back then, those Jean shorts and skinny jeans were a must in the out of the closet list.

"Let's go tonight, I'll pick you up and everything."

You nod, writing your address in a pink post it. Thing that make him smile, you loved leaving little notes for him everywhere in his house or car.

"pick me up by 8?" You ask, making him nod. "Te veo entonces." You kiss his cheek goodbye.

You do your best work trying to act normal. When you're on your car you let a big scream. You were excited.

It's been six years, obviously it was nerve breaking.

You hurry home, you have time to calmly change and get ready. You picked a nice outfit, nothing too casual or too formal. The perfect middle point.

You have a long everything shower. Making sure to be as smooth as possible. It's not like you're thinking about doing anything but just to be sure.

Pedri was doing basically the same thing, making sure everything is clean and nice for the night.

He even make sure his car is in neat condition, asking Fer to go to a car wash to get it ready.

"You look fine, niño." Fer reassure him again. "vete ya, or you'll be late."

"Deseame suerte."

"You don't need it, just don't fuck this up and you'll be fine." Fer laughs.

You pass around your livingroom, you boots heel making a sound with every strep. You wanted this to go well.

The doorbell made you freeze. You check mentally if everything is good. Check yourself on the little mirror before opening the door.

"Hola, guapa."

"Hola." You blush a little at the compliment. "What is this?"

He hands you the small bouquet of your favorite flower. "A little souvenir from me, to you."

You small at the little game of words, you taught him that. Every time you got him something you used to say that to him.

You like how he tries to fix the past by not making the same mistakes, he bought you flowers, like you say you wanted back then.

"Gracias, get in, I'll put them on water."

He checks your house, he can't deny that he loves your taste, always did. You have a beautiful house.

His eyes land on a specific blanket, he gifted you that on your second anniversary. He remembered that you wanted the blanket and since he was winning some money on Las Palmas. He went out and got it for you.

"You still have this?" He caresses the material. Memories of how happy you were when you got the gift.

You check what he was talking about, smiling a little when you see what he means. "I do. I love that blanket." You grab your bag and stand next to him. "Plus, I usually watch movies or take naps on the couch, so it's the perfect location."

You walk to your door, making him follow you. "I didn't think you had it still."

"That means you don't have any of the gifts I've ever given you?" You joke, knowing most of the things you gave him were clothes.

He thinks for a second, he does have a ring you gave him for his birthday, he loves that ring. Or the bracelet with an eight engraved.

"I do." he smile, he had everything you gifted him. "I have the ring you gave me when I turned eighteen."

When you walk to the car you see a black Lexus. "Where is the Porsche?" You ask as he opens the door for you.

"Had to upgrade a little bit."

You see a crazy clean car, smelling fresh. You laugh a little, he was never this clean with his car.

The drive to the place was confortable, he asked you about your past works and you asked him about football. The usual.

Dinner was fine, you did liked the place and the food. He was right about it. He even ordered dessert and acted as if the waitress had forgotten the other one just to share it with you.

"It was amazing, thank you very much." You say, turning back to face him as you reach your front door. "I had so much fun"

He steps closer to you, hands on your waist. "That means this is me winning my chance with you?"

Your breathing accelerates. His closeness is making things to you. The tip of his nose is touching yours. You nod at his question, unable to say something.

He smiles, he can tell by your accelerate breathing and the way your hands are on his arms that you don't mind him being this close.

He lay his head on your shoulder, hands on your back and thumbs caressing your sides. Your hands roam his arms. Scratching lightly.

"You have practice tomorrow." You say as you finally get some sense back into you. "And it's getting late."

"I think they will be fine without me there. I just won us the UCL."

His breathing on your neck is tempting. But you want to take things slowly, you want to take baby steps with him.

"I don't." You try to think of an excuse on why he can't stay. "I don't have an extra toothbrush."

He laughs, understanding the message. He wants to go slowly too, proving that he's not the same one who hurt you.

Plus, you are not one of his one night stands, he doesn't want you to feel like one. "Oh no! That means I have to go home." He kiss your collarbone and pull away from you.

You fix a piece of his hair, hand on his arm, securing yourself. "I like your hair like this." Your nails brush his hair. Making him close his eyes at the sensation.

"I'll come see you after training." He pulls away from you. "I really want to take you out again, I missed this."

"I would love that." You kiss his cheek goodbye. Entering you house and waving him a quick goodbye.

The whole trip home was him and his mom on the phone. He always trusted Rosy with anything, her and his father were the first people he calls when something good or bad happens.

He's mad, throwing his phone on the coffee table next to him.

He doesn't understand how people get to judge him based on things that are not related to football. On the field, he does the work. He makes sure he does assists, he even got some goals like the two of the last game.

He's good, he won't say otherwise. It took him so much effort to admit that he's as good as everybody else and saying he's not is unfair to his work and progress.

"Don't mind the things people say on the internet about you."

"I can't help it. Those random dudes on x saying things about me as if they know me."

"Their opinion don't matter." You pull him by the shoulders. He lays on top of you, hiding his face on the crock of your neck. "Don't let a random person affect your day."

You two have been seeing each other for three months, he makes sure to always go check on you after or before practice.

Always bring you something, some flowers, some coffee or a drink. Something to eat. Named it, and it'll be there.

He loves how much you two progress, and you love how much he showed you he changed, how much different he is from who he was back in the day.

"Don't go to work today, stay with me." He pouts.

You smile, nails scratching his scapl. "I have to go, either way your brother will be blowing my phone with questions and worries about every other thing."

"Block him." He jokes, knowing that Fernando was a perfectionist and wants this project to be as perfect as possible. "Seriously do." He kiss your shoulder before getting off of you.

"If I do I'll be fired." You joke back.

He makes a face. "They can't fire you. I'll get you back in." kissing your lips as he hugs your waist, head on your lap. "I don't want to do anything today."

Your fingers scratch his head, trying to calm him down. "I'll be here later, we can watch something on tv."

He nods, loving the feeling of your hands on his hair. Calming down from his frustration. He missed that, the level of confort, not needing to hide to feel intimacy, he missed feeling happy with a girl.

"I wish I could stay, but right now, I'm the one who calms your brother down when he gets perfectionist with every little detail." He understood, enjoying the feeling of being in your arms.

✨️✨️✨️

"Am I crazy or are the lights way too yellow?" Fer asks, judging every little detail he feels is wrong. "And the material, do you think is okay?"

You wanted to laugh, this was a very common thing with clients, they all freak out with the progress.

"Fernando, please don't worry. I promise this would look amazing in a few weeks when things are more placed and organized."

He nods, going to question Marc about something he thought was not right. You move to your office, wanting to organize your things.

You answer Pedri's text, and he told you he was bored and lonely without you. You laugh and answer with a picture of your messy desk.

You hear a knock on your door. "Can I come in?" When you see who it is, your eyes light up.

"Oh my God! Hello." You say happily.

"How are you, nena? I missed you."

"I've been good, working like crazy. You know me, kinda workaholic." You laugh. "How are you? How's Fernando and how's the Tasca doing?"

"We're fine, the Tasca is doing great, a lot of people. You need to go back and pay us a visit." Rosy says, taking a seat next to you. "Fer told me you were working with them, I'm so happy for you."

You love Rosy, she was like a mother to you. She took care of you when you needed it. She cooked for you, she went to your high school graduation when your family couldn't.

She was special to you, really loved her like a family, the same with Fernando. They were family.

You got away from them after the breakup, you needed space and so did Pedri. You thought that invading his space by being near his family was wrong. That's why when you were on Tenerife you didn't went out to see them.

"I am, I didn't know it was them when I got into the project. I'm happy I did. I've missed them."

You talk for a while about different topics, mostly her telling you about all the things that happened all this years.

You also told her about your years, how you ended up with this job and how it was. It was nice to have the talk you two had.

"I missed you, I miss my daughter." She confess. You smile at that. You missed them too.

"I missed you too, sorry I didn't come back to your place. I thought it was the right thing to do after the breakup."

"I get it." She grabs your hands. "Pedri also told me that you guys were trying to see if things work out again."

You smile, nodding. "We are, I feel like we both want that and I feel this is the right thing to do."

"I hope it works out for you two, I want my girl back." She hugs you.

You two talk a little more until Fer went looking for his mom. You grab your things and walk with them to the entrance. You all say goodbye to Marc, asking him to text or call you if he needs anything.

You say goodbye to them, saying that you will call Fer to meet up for lunch on another occasion.

✨️✨️✨️

"Do you want a little smoothie?" You ask Pedri as he walked downstairs. "I made a banana and strawberry one."

He nods, walking over to you. He wraps his arms around your waist, kissing your shoulder and your neck.

"I have training at two." He says in a raspy voice. "And I have to pack, will you help me, preciosa?"

You nod, passing him a glass with smoothie. You kiss his forehead and fix his hair a little. "We can work on your luggage after training. I have a meeting and I can't keep missing work." You bop his nose.

He smirks, he knows you work hard, but you have been missing some days of work thanks to him. You didn't have that much problem since they were the one who hired you, and Marc was okay with your working from home.

"I'll pick you up after practice." He smile, kissing you. "I'll get us some food and we can watch your favorite movie while you help me."

You both enjoy your smoothies, talking a little about different topics. Not caring about anything else but each others company.

He planned to ask you to go to the ceremony with him in Paris, he wanted you there, he needed you as much as his family there.

He went to practice, the technical team and his teammates organized him and Gavi a little celebration for good luck.

"I need to know what cream this dude is using because those bags under his eyes disappeared in no time." Raphinha jokes. Hugging him.

They are all in the bathroom, having a chat while getting clean and fresh to go home.

"He's using vitamin love." Ferran jokes from the bathroom. "He's a lover boy now."

They all hit Pedri's head while congratulating him about being in love. He enjoys the messing.

"Venga, this is not a crazy new." He says, fixing his hair.

"It is." Fermin says, hitting the back of his head. "You were the whore of the group and Ferran is here, take that in."

"Mira capullo, I'm a saint." Ferran yells.

"Joer', it was not that bad." He tried to justify himself.

"It was." Gavi says. "That why we are happy that you have a stable relationship. With someone you love and who loves you." Gavi hugs him. Making all the others hug him too.

After the shower chat, he left looking for some flowers, looking for some fresh food from your favorite place, your favorite dessert.

He knocks on your door. When you open, you're greeted by a big bouquet of flowers, you smile taking them from him.

"Hola." He smiles. "You look so pretty." He close the gap between you two kissing your lips. "I have our dinner in the car, ready to go?" You nod, putting your flowers in a pot before leaving with him.

Your relationship has improved, you love the effort he's making.

When you broke up, you told him he didn't have time for you, that he never gave you flowers, he never cared for you to feel like you matter to him.

He wants to change that. He wants you to feel validated, and he wants you to feel loved. Because he loves you and would change a thing about you.

"I have a little something for you." You say, picking the little box and putting it in your purse. "Let's go, guapo."

He asks about it, questioning you about the content inside the box. You told him that he has to wait until later to find out.

When you two arrive at his house, you help him with his bag. Talking about something you saw on tv the other day.

"I forgot to tell you, Gavi and Ferran say hi." He says as you walk into his room. Food in hand. "And Ferran wants to know if you can unlock him on Instagram." He laughs.

You laugh with him, promising you will do it later. You left your phone charging downstairs, so he had to wait.

"Do you know what you want to take?" You ask him, your eyes fixed on the screen as you search for your movie. "It's cold, and you have to have some outfits just in case. What if you got an outing that needs something formal?"

He nods. "I have a list on my phone of what I want to take, some cargos, a bumper jacket, the suits are being taken by Dolce."

He pulls a luggage, opening it on the bed so you can help him pick the clothes and help him with organizing.

It was a fun time. You ate while organizing and feeding him most of his food to help him some more.

"Oye." He calls your attention. "I want to speak with you about something."

You nod, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. He was standing in front of you. "Tell me."

He takes a deep breath. He needs to be prepared for a bad answer in case you don't feel comfortable with the invitation.

"I want you to know that no matter what, you can say no, and I'll be okay with that." He began saying. "I want you to come with me to the ceremony." He says.

He takes a few more breaths. Trying to prepare himself for the question. "I want you to come with me and my family. I want you all there. My mom, my dad, Fer, and you." He grabs your hands. "The thing here is, I know our relationship is not established as in right now, but I want to know if you would like to come with me as my girlfriend."

You smile. Thumbs caressing his hands.

You need to talk with him before compromising yourself again.

Yes, he did progress. Yes, he did change. Yes, he was better.

But you can't swipe things under the rug. You can't be one of those who start over without making peace with the past.

"Can you sit down with me?"

He nods, taking a seat next to you. He thinks you're saying no, preparing himself for that.

"I want to talk to you." You began. "Before answering your questions, I need you to compromise with me on something."

He nods, already agreeing with whatever you want to say.

"I need you to compromise and tell me if you ever feel like what we have is bothering you. If what we do is making you question our relationship. I want you to be honest with me. To trust me and to be straightforward with how you feel and how I make you feel."

He's surprised, he thought he was getting bad news but no.

"If we are doing this again, Pepi, talk to me." You giggle. "I want your honesty, I want your opinions, I want the long run with you. But I need a compromise." You grab his hands. "I'm not getting younger, I want a family, I want someone to come home to after a long day, after a sad day or just after work. Someone to spend my weekends with watching something or reading a book. And if you can't do that or simply just don't want to. It's okay." You smile at him. "Just be honest."

He frees his hands, grabbing your cheeks and kissing you. "I promise you that I will be the most honest person you'll ever know." He smiles. "I promise that you never were a bother and never will. I want the same as you, I want everything."

You hug him tightly. Sitting on his lap as his hands roam up and down your back.

It felt right. It felt necessary.

You finally got your past to be friends with your present.

"Now about what I asked, if you could answer." He says, giggling a little.

"Yes, to everything." You kiss his lips.

"Also about the gift?" He asks, curious.

"Yeah, you'll wait more than just a few minutes." You say, caressing his cheeks. "But I'll be worthy."

✨️✨️✨️

"Do I look fat in this tuxedo?" Fer asks.

Everyone in the room takes a look at him, questioning if it was the nerves of the situation or if he was serious.

"No." His father says, he wanted to laugh but kept it.

They continue helping with getting ready, leaving soon after everything seems under control.

Pedri and you were alone, finishing with your clothes and looks for the gala. You reassure him that his tux and hair looked good.

"Amor, everything will go the way it is supposed to go." You kiss him quickly. "Trust yourself."

He nods, hugging you to calm his nerves. He can't deny that he's not feeling as confident as he says in the news or interviews.

A knock on the door makes you separate. "Pedri, ready?" His manager asks.

He nods, taking a last look of himself in the mirror. When he's about to leave, your eyes caught the glare of the little box in the nightstand.

"Wait, your gift." You say, walking to the furniture and grabbing the box to take it to him. "Open it before we leave."

You were excited for him to see what's inside. You kept it a surprise until today, knowing he would be less nervous like this.

"How?" He asks, taking the tux bow out of the box. He recognized the piece. "I thought I lost it."

You smile. The bow has a meaning for him. He bought it before leaving to play for Las Palmas. He spent a good part of his savings on it.

"You told me, before leaving the island, that this was the bow you were going to wear when you got your first ballon d'or." You help him with taking the bow he has on and putting the new one in place. "And tonight, this is happening."

He feels his eyes getting teary. He can't help but think about his little self buying the bow at the local shop.

He knew back then that no matter what, he was going to work hard to get into that nominations and into the podium.

And he did.

"Te amo." He kiss you quickly. "Ahora vamos por ese jodido balón." He laughs, making you laugh. (I love you. Now let's go get that damn ballon)

pedri

Liked by pablogavi, fcbarcelona and 3

8,566,730 others

pedri De las mejores noches de mi vida ❤️

Thank you Culers for all the love and support. Without you, this wouldn't be happening. This is not only mine but yours too ❤️

View all 2,465,739 comments

fcbarcelona Our winner 🏆❤️💙

ferrantorres grande hermano ❤️8️⃣🐐

leomessi felicidades Pedri 🐐 bienvenido al club de campeones 💪🏻

🏷: @gadriezmannsgirl @mbappe-pedri @coco6514 @coco657 @gavisfanta @jajajhaahaha @urmotheris @dessxoxsworld @girlidekanymore @lanussysworld @largavidaalsol

[kiarastromboli]

Teach me 2 (Chris Sturniolo x y/n)

Part.1 Part.3

Masterlist.

Warning: Not my edit, Smut content, don’t like it = don’t read it :)

Summary: Y/N and Chris's relationship has evolved, but Y/N insists on keeping a low profile for fear that her parents will find out she has a boyfriend.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

"Wake up, honey, your dad is dropping you off today," my mom said, gently stroking my hair to wake me up.

I just hummed in response, too lazy to open my mouth and speak.

After a few seconds of tossing in bed to stretch and rub my eyes, I reached for my phone.

I smiled foolishly at my phone before getting out of bed to get ready.

My relationship with Chris had evolved since the night he climbed through my window two weeks ago. We decided to take our time; nothing was officially defined, and not many people knew about us.

Mainly because I was afraid my parents would find out I had a boyfriend. Chris didn't care; he wasn't the type to overthink, and that's precisely why I tried to keep this relationship discreet.

My parents had been quite clear in the past about boys—no boyfriends before the end of high school. According to them, it's a distraction, and they want me to focus fully on my studies, which I can understand.

On top of that, Chris is pretty much everything my parents would dislike, so it would be even worse if they found out I was dating him.

Anyway, I left my room to head to the bathroom. I took a quick shower, got dressed, brushed my teeth, styled my hair, and applied a bit of makeup.

I wanted to look a bit nicer today for Chris; I knew this lacrosse match was important for him, and I wanted to please him.

"You look very beautiful. Do you have a special event today?" my father asked as he saw me coming into the kitchen.

"Um, no, I just felt like getting ready a bit," I nervously replied before sitting at the table for breakfast.

"By the way, I'll probably be home a bit later tonight. There's an important lacrosse match, and I plan to watch it with Julia," I added nervously.

"Hm," my father looked at me strangely before returning to his phone.

I had my breakfast peacefully, and then my father and I headed to school.

My morning went by normally—nothing extraordinary. I attended classes, worked, and chatted a bit with my best friend Julia. Then lunchtime arrived.

"See you at the match!" I told Julia as I left the class to go to my locker.

I opened my locker to put away my things, and when I closed it, I was taken by surprise by Chris standing right behind me.

"Oh my god, Chris!" I said, placing my hand on my heart, thinking I was having a heart attack.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," he said, chuckling, and I gave him a playful punch in the shoulder before laughing myself.

"You look good," he said with a smirk, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I made an effort for you today," I told him, smiling and tilting my head to the side.

"Can't wait to take off that little skirt later," he whispered in my ear, making me blush.

"Chris!" I said, clearing my throat and looking around to make sure no one had heard.

He chuckled before leaning toward me for a kiss, and instinctively, I pulled back.

He gave me a confused look. "Not here. I don't want anyone to see us," I said timidly.

"Y/n, your parents aren't going to magically appear out of nowhere and catch us kissing. We're at school," he replied, rolling his eyes and sighing.

"I know, but I don't want to take the risk of someone telling them!" I replied.

"I couldn't care less if your parents don't like me, Y/n. It annoys me that I can't kiss you whenever I want!" he said, getting frustrated.

"Chris, I know. I'm sorry. Please, stop," I said, immediately feeling guilty. "Maybe you don't care, but it's important to me. I'm not ready for them to know. I need a little more time."

He sighed, throwing his head back. "Yeah, see you at the match after school," he said before turning around and leaving.

It really bothered me that things were so complicated. It was just the beginning of our relationship, and I was terrified of ruining everything because of my parents.

The rest of the day, I wasn't really focused on anything. I couldn't stop thinking about Chris. I didn't want to hurt him, and I could sense that this situation was bothering him. I wanted to find a way to make it up to him.

After school, Julia and I headed straight to the stadium to watch Chris's match. We had seats right at the front in the stands.

"Hold this for me. I'm going to see Chris quickly before the match starts," I told my best friend, handing her my bag.

Of course, she knew about Chris and me; she was the first person to find out.

She nodded, smiling at me, and I ran toward the locker rooms. I was lucky; Chris had just come out.

I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him to a more discreet spot where no one could see us, then kissed him.

"I'm sorry for earlier," I replied, separating our lips. "I don't want our argument to distract you from your match. I'll find a solution."

"I'm not angry with you, Y/n," he said, placing his hand on my cheek. "It's just that I wish I could show everyone that you're mine."

"Shut up," I said, grabbing the collar of his shirt to kiss him. "How about you show me how much I'm yours after this match," I added, biting my lip.

"You won't have to ask me twice," he said, grabbing me by the waist, pulling me against him, and kissing me again. "Join me in the locker room after the match," he said, disconnecting our lips.

"Chris, I meant at your place or mine, not here dumbass," I said, chuckling.

"I won't wait until then. If it were up to me, I'd fuck you against this wall," he said, smiling.

"No, Chris, you're insane. We're not doing that in the locker room," I said, shaking my head.

"Okay, let's make a deal. If I score three times during this match, we do it in the locker room. Otherwise, it's up to you to decide," he said, extending his hand.

"Chris," I said, looking at him seriously, and he insisted, "Oh my god, okay fine, deal," I finally gave in, and he kissed me quickly before turning back to the others.

Even if Chris was doing pretty well in lacrosse, there was little chance he would score three times on his own. Given the level of his team, I knew this deal was already in my favor.

"Are you done making out with your secret boyfriend?" Julia said when I came back to sit next to her.

"Oh, shut up!" I said, laughing.

It was Chris's first match that I attended. I had seen him practice once or twice quickly, but I didn't expect to find it so attractive to watch him play.

I don't know if it was the brutality with which he entered the opposing team members sometimes or the moments of pause when he removed his helmet to run his hand through his hair.

Not to mention the countless times he threw me looks that, honestly, soaked my panties.

I already found Chris incredibly sexy in everyday life. Sometimes I even felt like a teenager in front of a boyband with him. This guy represented everything I found most attractive.

When he scored for the first time, I was the first to cheer and encourage him, proud to see my boyfriend contribute to his team's victory.

The second time, however, I quickly felt reality catching up with me. Had I just been fooled? I felt anxiety creeping in. If he scored one more time, it meant I was going to sleep with him in the locker room. Oh my god, what had I done?

The rest of the match, every time he approached to score, my heart skipped a beat. But when the last few minutes arrived, I started to feel reassured.

That was without counting on the fact that Chris scored one last time in the last 5 minutes of the match.

Everyone in the stands stood up to celebrate our team's victory, and I sat there for a moment when I realized what that meant. Damn.

After a few minutes of celebration, the team left the field to head to the locker room, and I received a message from Chris.

I blushed at his message.

"Everything okay?" Julia asked, putting her hand on my shoulder, making me jump and immediately turning off my phone so she wouldn't see my messages.

"Um, yeah!" I said, clearing my throat and smiling to pretend nothing was wrong.

"Okay..." she said, looking at me strangely. "Anyways, my brother is dropping me home in 5 minutes. Do you want us to drop you off on the way to your place?" she offered.

"No, thanks, Ju. I'll wait for Chris to come out of the locker room. I have something to tell him quickly," I said timidly, running my hand over my neck.

"Oh, okay. Well, see you tomorrow, Y/n," she said, smiling before leaving.

It had been about twenty minutes since I was waiting in the stands, feeling stressed and anxious.

Of course, it wasn't about sleeping with Chris; on the contrary, I wanted it. It's just that I found it quite risky, and what if someone caught us?

Anyway, I made a deal with him, and I can't back down now.

My moment of solitude was interrupted by a message from Chris, letting me know that the locker room was empty, and he was now waiting for me to join him.

I took a deep breath and stood up before starting to walk towards the locker rooms.

I passed a few people on the way and tried to act casual as I walked past them. Once in front of the locker room door, I scanned the surroundings to make sure no one saw me enter.

I opened the door and quickly entered. My heart immediately raced when the door closed behind me.

I surveyed the room to find my boyfriend, but no one was there. "Ch-Chris?" I said timidly, gradually moving forward in the room.

No response. Turning my head, I saw Chris's bag on the bench with his lacrosse jersey on it, indicating that he was indeed here. "Not funny, idiot, answer me!" I said, rolling my eyes and starting to walk towards the showers.

Suddenly, I felt hands grab my waist and press me against a wall before feeling his lips crashing onto mine, making me sigh in surprise. "Chris! Oh my god!"

"That's the second time I've scared you today," he said, smiling proudly.

"Yes, and you really need to stop doing it if you don't want me to have a heart attack!" I said, giving him a playful shove to his chest.

I took a moment to admire him; he was shirtless, his hair still damp from the shower he probably just had. "I missed you," he said, reconnecting our lips.

"I missed you too," I replied, running my hand through his hair. "I didn't think you'd manage to score three times," I said in a slightly more timid tone.

"With the right motivation, there are plenty of things I can do," he said, smiling against my lips before removing one of the straps of my top.

"Chris—" I started to say before being cut off by his lips on my neck. "I know we made a deal, but I don't think it's a good idea," I said, unable to hold back small moans escaping my mouth.

"Why?" he asked, sliding his hands over my hips. "You don't seem like you want me to stop, judging by the sounds you're making," I could feel his smile against my neck.

"I don't—" I said, interrupted by a moan when he began nibbling on my neck. "If someone catches us, Chris, I—" I said before being cut off by his hands grabbing the back of my thighs to lift me.

"Don't worry. If you stay quiet, there's no reason anyone will catch us," he said with a smirk before kissing me again, this time our kiss was deeper and more fiery.

I knew it wasn't responsible of me, but his lips on my body only led me astray from the right path. I placed one hand on his shoulder while the other tangled in his hair. "We'll have to do this quickly, though. I don't know how much time we have before the janitor comes to clean the locker rooms," he said with a hungry voice, and I simply nodded.

He led us to the bench to sit next to his bag. His hands gripped my hips, making me moan once again, and I started moving my hips against his, making him groan in return. "I fucking missed this pussy. I can't wait any longer," he said, licking his lips, and indeed, I could feel his rock-hard cock through his joggers rubbing against my panties.

He came to grasp my throat in his hand, kissing me more fiercely than before, making me moan in surprise. This time was different, less gentle than the first, but equally pleasing. I couldn't help but squirm and moan, craving to feel him inside me again. "Shhh," he said, separating our lips.

"I'm sorry, it's just that—" I began before feeling his grip on my ass strengthen.

"It's just that what?" he said with a smirk. "Don't be all shy with me ma; tell me, or I'll stop now," he added, removing his hands from my ass.

"No, don't!" I said in a heated sigh before guiding his hands back to where they were, and he smiled. "It's just that I really need you now," I said timidly, and he immediately kissed me again.

His hands left my ass to remove his joggers and boxers, lifting his hips slightly, pressing his erection even closer to me, causing another moan to escape my lips.

"Y/n, you really need to make less noise than that," he chuckled, readjusting himself.

"Sorry," I said, blushing and looking down at his sizeable member. Not to brag, but in my eyes, it was rather large, and I was afraid that without any foreplay, his entrance might be painful.

"I won't enter before stretching you a bit, baby, don't worry," he chuckled before bringing his hand between our bodies.

He slid my panties to the side before inserting a finger inside me while looking at me with his beautiful blue eyes.

I tried to stifle a moan when he immediately added a second finger, making me furrow my brows and cling to his shoulder. "You're so beautiful, y/n," he said, moving his fingers inside me.

And I couldn't help but move my hips back and forth, hoping to feel him even deeper inside me. "You're such a good girl; look at you riding my fingers like a needy slut," his words prompted another moan to escape my mouth.

His free hand came to surround his member as he started to stroke himself while watching me. "I want to do it," I said, wrapping my hand around him, and he smiled before starting to bend his fingers inside me.

I gradually quickened my hand movements around him, and he threw his head back. "N-no, Chris, look at me," I said, moaning and placing my free hand on his cheek.

"Fuck, I need to be inside of you right now," he said, removing his fingers from me to grab a condom from his bag.

In a few seconds, he opened the condom with his teeth, and I stopped stroking him so he could put it on.

He wasted no time in seizing me by the hips and aligning himself with my entrance. He took care to shift my panties to the side before applying pressure to my hips to enter in one swift motion. "Chris!" I almost screamed, burying my head in his neck.

"Sorry, I couldn't wait any longer, ma," he said, groaning and starting to guide my hips up and down.

"Oh my fuck," I said, moaning and throwing my head back.

He took advantage of the moment to bury his head in my neck and kiss me there. "Chris, I—" I said, moaning, and he quickened the movement, I gently pulled his hair. "This is so good; please don't stop."

"Y/n, someone might hear you; you need to stop moaning like that, shit-" he said, lifting his head towards me and grabbing my chin.

"I don't fucking care, Chris; it feels good. I need you to go faster, please," I said, driven solely by my desires at that moment, and he did what I asked, thrusting from below this time.

He grabbed my hips tightly and started giving me fast and deep thrusts. "Oh my god, yes, right there," I said, dropping my head forward.

"Fuck, y/n, shhh," he said, trying his best to hold back his own moans.

I felt like I had become completely dumb; the only thing I could think of at that moment was Chris inside me. The moans coming from me were out of control, so Chris pressed his hand against my mouth to prevent any sound from escaping.

"God, I wish I didn't have to cover your pretty little mouth right now," he whispered without stopping his thrusts.

My lower abdomen tightened as he began to massage my clit. My eyes rolled back, and my hand instinctively gripped Chris's throat, which seemed to shock him momentarily but didn't displease him, judging by the smile that appeared on his face.

I closed my eyes, feeling my orgasm approaching. With my other hand, I removed Chris's hand from my mouth to warn him, "Baby, I'm really close," I said, moaning.

"Me too, ma, let it go," he said through gritted teeth. I locked eyes with him, my mouth open, refraining from letting my moans escape. Chris's brows were furrowed, and he bit his lips to prevent any noise from escaping.

"Chris, oh my god!" I almost screamed, tightening my grip around his neck, letting my orgasm take over.

"Hold on a little longer; I'm almost there babe," he said, breathless, giving me animalistic thrusts before he, too, reached climax and stopped his movements completely.

I let my head fall against his chest with him still inside me, and we both began to chuckle. "I'm going to need a second shower," he said, laughing.

"Well, we don't have time. You'll take one at your place; I have to go home before my parents get worried." I told him, straightening up and placing my hands around his cheeks.

"Hmm," he simply hummed, caressing my ass and kissing me tenderly.

I stood up, readjusted my skirt and panties, while he disposed of the condom and got dressed on his end. "I'm good?" I asked, wanting him to tell me if I was disheveled or if my clothes were misplaced.

"Mhm," he said, nodding, and we both headed towards the exit.

He grabbed me by the arm to kiss me. "I love you, Chris," I said, breaking our kiss with a big smile.

"I love you, baby," he replied before I turned to open the door and stepped out.

I quickly descended from my little cloud when I opened the door and found myself face to face with Chris's coach, who crossed his arms.

"Y/f/n y/l/n! I wouldn't have expected to run into you here," he said, giving me a judgmental look before Chris came out right after. "Chris Sturniolo, what a surprise!"

I looked at Chris anxiously, hoping he could come up with a miracle solution. "Coach, it's not what you think—" he started before being interrupted.

"I don't want to hear anything. Both of you will explain yourselves to the principal tomorrow. Go home now," he responded.

Oh my god, this time I'm really in trouble...

Masterlist.

[coolgrl111]

but i’m a tennis player!

tashi duncan x fem!reader

summary: after your family and boyfriend accuse you of being gay, you talk to your close friend tashi to work out these strange feelings.

warnings: use of y/n please forgive me 😭

a/n: idk how i thought of this buttt woohoo!

it felt like any other day, until i walked into the living room and saw everyone gathered—mom, dad, my friends, even patrick. their faces weren’t just concerned; they were studying me like i was something delicate, about to shatter. my stomach churned, but i forced a smile, wondering why the room felt so off.

“y/n, we need to talk,” my mom said, her voice soft but lined with something that made my skin prickle. she gestured to the couch next to her, and as i sat, i felt a weight pressing down on me. the air was thick with unspoken words, and my heart raced.

“we think you might be… confused,” my dad added, his eyes searching mine for some kind of understanding. i glanced around, confused myself—confused about what? then my eyes landed on patrick. he looked at me, but not like he usually did. his eyes were filled with pity, not the warmth i’d grown used to. he shifted in his seat, avoiding eye contact, and that was when the dread really sank in.

“we’ve noticed some… changes,” my mom continued. her tone was too careful, like she was trying to cushion the blow of something she knew i wouldn’t want to hear. “the way you act around patrick, the things you say, how distant you seem.”

i could feel the blood drain from my face as i glanced over at patrick. he wasn’t defending me. he wasn’t saying anything at all.

“and you spend so much time with your friends, especially that girl from tennis,” mom added, her voice dropping like it was some kind of revelation. she was obviously talking about tashi duncan. “you’re just not as… affectionate with patrick as you should be.”

i blinked, trying to make sense of the absurdity. was this really happening?

“you’re a vegetarian now,” my dad chimed in, as if that had anything to do with it. since when did not eating meat mean anything about who i was?

“that’s just part of my diet plan, dad. and tashi is just my friend.”

but they kept throwing out these little things—how i dress, the music i listen to, how i wasn’t all over patrick like they expected me to be. my mind reeled as the pieces fell into place.

they think i’m gay.

it was like the room spun for a moment, the realization hitting me harder than i could have imagined. i felt the heat rise to my cheeks, my heart pounding so loud i was sure they could hear it. they weren’t asking, they were telling me. they were sure. they’d convinced themselves.

“we just want to help you, y/n,” my mom said softly, reaching for my hand, but her touch felt foreign. all of them felt like strangers. and patrick—he hadn’t said a word.

i turned to patrick, my voice trembling with disbelief. “you really believe this, pat?” the words hung in the air between us, the weight of them making it hard to breathe. he still wouldn’t look at me, his eyes focused somewhere far away, like if he didn’t make eye contact, none of this was really happening.

he shifted uncomfortably, running a hand through his hair. “y/n, it’s not like that. they’re just… worried. i’m worried.”

my heart twisted in my chest, and i stepped closer, desperate for him to see me, to really see me. “worried? about what, exactly? because i don’t act the way they think i should? because i don’t hang all over you like some… stereotype?”

his face tensed, and for a second, i thought i saw something in his eyes—guilt, maybe. but he pushed it down, forcing a sigh. “it’s not just that, y/n. they just want to make sure you’re okay.”

i scoffed, feeling the sting of betrayal sharper than ever. “i’m fine, patrick. but you’re standing here, letting them convince themselves that i’m broken, that there’s something wrong with me. is that what you think too?”

finally, his gaze met mine, and for a second, i saw the boy i thought i knew. but then he shook his head, glancing at my parents, his voice quieter than i’d ever heard it. “i just think… maybe it wouldn’t hurt to talk to someone, y/n.”

it felt like the ground had been ripped out from under me. i stared at him, disbelief flooding my entire body. “you really believe this, don’t you?”

—

the next day at school, i found myself gravitating toward tashi like i always did, feeling more anxious than ever. she was leaning against her locker, her usual calm confidence wrapping around her like armor. but when she saw me approaching, her eyes softened.

“hey,” she smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “you okay? you look like you didn’t sleep.”

i let out a heavy sigh, leaning against the locker next to her, the tension from last night still weighing on me. “i didn’t,” i admitted. “patrick, my parents… they sat me down last night. they think there’s something wrong with me.”

tashi frowned, pushing off her locker and standing a little closer to me. “what do you mean?”

i shifted, uncomfortable just saying the words out loud. “they… they think i might be… gay.” the word still felt foreign on my tongue, heavy like it didn’t quite fit, even though deep down, something about it resonated. “patrick barely even defended me. i asked him if he believed it, and he practically said yes.”

tashi’s brow furrowed, her eyes flicking over my face with concern. “that’s insane. they’re just… what, jumping to conclusions?”

“yeah, pretty much.” i rubbed my arm, looking at the floor. “but the thing is… they’re not exactly wrong. i mean, i don’t know, tashi. it’s like they’re seeing something i’m too scared to admit to myself.

her face softened as she glanced around, making sure no one was listening, before stepping even closer to me, our shoulders brushing. “y/n… that doesn’t make you broken. it’s… it’s okay to feel confused about this stuff.”

her voice was so gentle, it almost undid me. i looked at her, seeing the faint blush spreading across her cheeks as she spoke, like she was nervous too, like she was feeling something she wasn’t used to acknowledging either. “you don’t think i’m crazy?”

“no,” she said quickly, her eyes holding mine a little too long, something unspoken passing between us. “you’re not crazy. not at all.”

my heart did a strange flip in my chest. i’d always felt closer to tashi than anyone else, but standing there with her, after everything that had happened, something clicked into place. and when i noticed her blush deepen, her lips parting as if she wanted to say something more but couldn’t, i felt it. maybe i wasn’t the only one confused.

the air between us felt thick, like it was charged with something unspoken that neither of us had dared to confront before. tashi looked at me, her eyes full of uncertainty, but also something deeper, something I couldn’t quite name yet. and I realized, standing there in that quiet space between classes, that I wanted to figure it out, even if it scared me.

“y/n,” she began softly, her voice almost a whisper, “you don’t have to explain yourself to them, or to anyone. but… do you know how you feel?”

i swallowed hard, my throat suddenly dry. “i don’t know,” i whispered back. “i mean, i never really thought about it until… until they brought it up. but now? i just feel so confused. and… being around you, it’s like…” i trailed off, my cheeks burning as the words failed me.

tashi’s gaze flickered down to my lips, and then back up to my eyes, and suddenly the distance between us seemed almost unbearable. she shifted nervously, her hand brushing mine for just a second, sending a jolt through my whole body.

“y/n, you can talk to me,” she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper now, her cheeks glowing with that same blush from earlier. “i’m here. always.”

i didn’t even realize i’d moved closer to her until i felt her breath on my skin, warm and a little unsteady. i looked up, meeting her eyes again, and for a split second, everything else fell away — the confusion, the fear, the expectations from my parents, patrick… all of it faded, leaving just the two of us in that charged moment.

before i could think, before i could talk myself out of it, i leaned in. our lips met, soft and tentative at first, like we were both testing the waters of something neither of us fully understood. but the second her hand slid up my arm, a wave of warmth crashed over me, making my head spin.

then, just as quickly as it had started, panic seized me. i pulled back abruptly, my heart racing, breath coming in short, uneven bursts. “i… i’m sorry,” i stammered, backing away from her like i’d done something wrong, even though the kiss still lingered on my lips, sending a strange thrill through my whole body. “i don’t know what… i just—”

tashi looked just as flustered as i felt, her hand instinctively reaching out toward me before she dropped it, unsure. her lips were still slightly parted, her cheeks flushed, but there was no anger in her eyes, only understanding, maybe even longing. “it’s okay,” she said, her voice soft and a little shaky. “y/n, it’s okay. you don’t have to apologize.”

but i could feel the walls closing in on me, all the doubts and fears from the night before rushing back. “i… i need some time,” i muttered, stumbling back a step, then another, until i was nearly running down the hall.

[laviefantasie]

“Just A Girl” : 01

“ GOJO SATORU X PRESIDENT’S DAUGHTER READER ”

SYNOPSIS: After insisting so much, you’re finally given the opportunity to attend college away from home and feel like a normal girl. It is there that you meet Gojo Satoru, another undergraduate student, and for the first time in your life are shown what having a true connection feels like. Or at least that’s what you think…

SERIES MASTERLIST

| next >

I never thought my life was anything but ordinary. Never did I ever think it was weird that most of my birthday parties were mostly full of adults, nor did I question why unless I was at a tea party organized by one of my mother’s friends my friends were mostly my stuff animals

It was what I had always known as a child. Even as a teenager my world were only my parents, my teacher, my nanny, and the staff that constantly followed me around.

What I never got used to? The flashes.

I roll my eyes and turn off the TV abruptly, throwing myself backwards in my king bed. Another day, another news reporter judging my image. Tale as old as time.

Grabbing the nearest pillow, I cover my face and scream.

“Miss,” a knock on the door makes me stop self- pitying, “your breakfast is served”

Inhaling, I stand up and grab my phone from my nightstand before leaving my bedroom. Outside stood Yuki Tsukumo, father’s trusting secretary that has also worked as a bridge for us whenever we are president and first daughter instead of father and daughter.

“Not ready for the day yet?”

“It’s 5:26 in the morning” I smile softly, “I’m just in time for breakfast from 5:30 to 5:50, digesting from 5:50 to 6:00, running from 6:00 to 6:30, and then showering before the real schedule begins”

“That’s my girl” smiles Yuki.

As soon as we arrive at the dining room I sit down besides my father, whose already reading through the notes sent to his iPad. My mother at his other side is reviewing her schedule for the day.

Another normal day for the Y/L/N family.

“Good morning, mom, dad”

“Morning pumpkin” smiles my father, turning off his iPad, “Ready for today?”

I nod smiling before taking a bite of the waffle in front of me. What was in schedule for today anyways?

My mom laughs softly before snapping her fingers, which makes Yuki leave my own iPad beside my plate of food. Schedule for the day already opened.

Fitting at 7:30: Alexander McQueen

Family interview at 9:00

Father’s speech at 10:00

Lunch with the vice president’s family at 12:00…

A sigh escaped my lips as I keep on reading the never ending list of things to do for the day. Most of which consisted of me smiling perfectly for pictures without moving a muscle, or speaking for the matter.

No surprise there. This had been my life the last four years and even before that, it had been all I’ve known.

The price to pay for having parents in politics.

“Do we really have to have lunch with the Zenin’s?” You groan.

Your father sighs, “They may not be the best company, but the matriarch is the best vice president I could’ve wished for. So, yes, we have to”

Your father was right and you knew that. Mrs. Zenin was probably the only good thing of that family that had only been known for corruption. She turned it all around, she even went against their sexist claims and became the matriarch.

She was someone to look up to. Her son though? Not so much. He was 100% his father, maybe only getting his mother’s looks.

“It’s the time for appearances, honey” your mother reminds you, “Reelections are soon. Once that’s over things will go back to normal”

Normal, you sigh.

Normal means new schedules to be followed to build your image. Normal means attending different events and parties according to convenience.

Normal means not normal at all.

“Miss Y/L/N” Yuki calls.

You turn to ask hear her only to see her pointing at her watch. You look at your iPad to see the time.

5:46 a.m.

You curse in your head realizing you had only four minutes to finish your still full plate of food, that if you wanted to stay on time. Which you had to.

Sighing, you clean your mouth before excusing yourself from the table.

Just four more days, you remind yourself, four more days and your new life starts. With that thought a smile graces your features and you run upstairs to start the rest of your day.

⛊ ☼ ⛉ ☼ ⛊ ☼ ⛉ ☼ ⛊

You sighed for the millionth time as you say on your bed, ordered to sit still and watch as your staff packed your belongings. One of the fantasies you had when imagining the start of your normal life was packing by yourself.

I guess that was too greedy of you.

A knock on your door snaps you out of your boredom, your father soon entering making a smile grow on your face.

“Dad!”

You run towards your father and hug him, feeling a warm envelop your chest as you feel him kiss the top of your head.

“Ready for the big day?”

“Oh, God, please don’t” you groan, “I’m starting at Magus Pugnate University tomorrow like a normal girl. Which means no grand parade!”

Your father sighs, “Do you know your mom, honey? Impossible. It’s go big or go home”

You groan out loud making your father laugh and his hold on you tighten.

“I swear I’ll scream if they play ‘Hail to the Chief’, dad” he laughs.

“Come on, let’s go” he starts guiding me to the Oval Office, “Tomorrow is a big day. Law school isn’t easy, munchkin”

“I’m ready” you assure him.

He smile, proud, “I know”

“There you are! Finally”

You both turn with guilty looks towards your mother, in her all First Lady glory, as she glares at you both.

“We don’t have all day, i thought you knew that already” she shakes her head, “Yuki start with the itinerary”

Yuki nods, smiling softly towards you before starting to list the absolutely ridiculous schedule that you had ahead of you—flying on Air Force 1, driving up to Magus Pugnate University where a parade would lead all of you to a quad for a press conference, and then, dropping you off in your university’s private dorm suite after securing it.

You were slightly annoyed as you listened. You dreamt of getting on a commercial flight and driving yourself to university where you’d settle in your dorm with a roommate as normal people do.

But you weren’t normal, and lately that was a really tough pill to swallow.

“They won't ask you about policy. They'll probably ask you about…” you zone out, “…Yaga will accompany you there to make sure everything is secured before leaving you with Sukuna, Higuruma, Nanami and Nitta with you at all times”

“W-wait, what?” You stuttered, “Not only is the Head of Security going but also the four of them? With me? And what you mean at all times? You mean the four of them?”

Your father nods, “Of course, as usual”

“Usual is me going out to events or public spaces” you continue, “I’m going to university, a private one even. A university that is very strict on who they accept. Why do I need that many security?”

“Because you’re my daughter”

That sentence is meat to make you understand. That sentence is enough for him to consider the conversation over and continue with the next subject.

The heavy weight that being the First Daughter carries is one that makes you shake under it, hoping soon you’ll crumble.

Inhale, exhale, you remind yourself.

You’re going to university. For the first time in forever you’re doing something you want. Take it a step at a time.

That night, you tiptoe all through the White House until you make it to the main kitchen. There you open the fridge and get out the Blueberry Cheesecake the Head Chef had made. With no hesitation you grab two plates, cut two pieces and serve them, before grabbing two forks.

Grabbing one of the cakes, you start eating. Moaning in delight at the flavor.

“Ugh, I lost?” You hear your father groan behind you.

“Not blaming you, mom is hard to trick”

“She’d have my head for sure if she saw us right now” he grabs his own cake and takes a bite, “totally worth it though”

“Who would’ve thought Mr. President’s weakness would be Blueberry Cheesecake?” You gasp with humor, “Have I uncovered one of the country’s top secrets?!”

You father laughs with a roll of his eyes, taking another bite off his cake.

“Excited for tomorrow?”

You nod while eating, “I really hope it all goes well”

“Why wouldn’t it?”

You play around with the piece of cheesecake you had cut, debating whether you should voice your feelings or not.

“It’s just… I’m the First Daughter, you know?” You sigh, “Loved by many, hated by many more. Hard to approach, yet never ignored. I’m anxious to see how that’ll work out at university”

“You’ll be fine”

“I know… I hope” you sigh again, “I just really want it to be fun. I want to make friend who like me for me. I want to go out, maybe drink—”

“Excuse me?!”

You laugh, “Kidding. I just want to feel like a teenager for once”

“You will, sweetheart” he kisses the top of your head lovingly, hugging you from your side, “I promise you will”

You wanted to believe he was right. You hoped he was.

⛊ ☼ ⛉ ☼ ⛊ ☼ ⛉ ☼ ⛊

“So, remember, you're just like any other American family. Whose daughter is heading off to college” you repeat again inside the limo, “Remember, today you're not just the First Lady, but you're also a mom”

Your mom frowns slightly, “I'd like to think I'm both women every day”

You sigh, “In short, you're just a proud dad. Like every other dad…watching his little girl head off to University in another state”

Your father groans, “Ugh, don’t remind me. Why did you have to choose somewhere so far away?”

“The distance did influence my decision” you accept, “But MPU is the University for law”

Your father opens his mouth to possibly fight your argument, but the limo stops and soon enough Hail to the Chief starts being played by the band.

“Show time” you mutter to yourself.

Soon enough you’re being blinded by flashes as questions are being screamed at your family.

“Mr. President, how do you feel about your only child going to school so far away?” One says.

“Well, I’m suggesting moving the nation’s capitol”

Your father’s joke makes all of them laugh, even bringing a sincere smile to your face.

“Y/N, will you miss the capital?” Another asks, “Better yet, what will you miss the least?”

Your practices polite smile is once again on.

“Uh, tough question” you laugh politely, “Not sure on what I would miss least, so I can’t answer that… but I can answer what I’ll miss the most: my friends and family. But I’m very excited to experience life as everybody else, and have the famous college experience I’ve read so much about”

Thankfully soon after that the interviews are over and your family is being guided to the place you’ll be staying.

“Nitta is at the end of the hall, Higuruma in the middle, and Sukuna and Nanami will stay at your door” Yuki explains.

It’s the third time she’s said it in the last ten minutes since you’ve arrived.

You roll your eyes and focus once again on looking over your private suite. It was stunning. Big enough for one person, already with all the furniture one may need (although that probably was Yuki’s doing since it was decorated just as you’d wish for).

“Shining Star on site” you hear Nanami murmur into his microphone yet decide to ignore it.

“Not to late to turn back” you mother reminds you softly.

“I love it” you smile, “I’m so excited! Have any of the neighbors arrived?”

“Who are the neighbors?” Your father asks.

“Ieiri Shoko across, Geto Suguru at the end, and Gojo Satoru across from him” Nanami answers, “Miss Ieri is a senior in Psychology, parents still together and strong supporters in the polls; Geto Suguru senior in Law, divorced parents who also are strong supporters, childhood friend with Gojo Satoru who is also a senior in Law. Widowed mother, well-known law firm soon-to-be heir. All of them have been born and raised here, went to the same high school together”

Your eyes widen at the amount of information given. You feel slightly uncomfortable at knowing so much from the people sharing floor with you when they don’t even know you’re here yet.

“Have they arrived yet?”

“All of them have already settled down and are currently eating at the cafeteria across the street” Nanami continues checking his phone, “E.T.A. is 15 minutes”

Okay, scratch slightly uncomfortable, this was an invasion of privacy! It’s illegal!

Well, it was information given to the president…

You shake your head, deciding to focus on anything other than the guilt swallowing you whole.

“Did you check your itinerary with Yuki?”

You frown, “why?”

“Well, there are just a few small functions…”, your mother starts, “your father and I thought you might enjoy attending”

“Uh… do I have a choice?” Your parents shake their head, “Great”

Yaga comes inside, signaling to your parents that it’s time to leave.

“Already?” You ask with a slight pout.

“As if you aren’t dying to see us get out of here” your father jokes.

“Well, the President and the First Lady, totally” you nod, “Mom and dad? Not at all”

With teary eyes your mom holds your hand, guiding you outside your building where the cars are waiting for them to escort them.

You were really doing this, you were really leaving your perfect life behind and achieving one of your dreams. You’d have a normal experience just like everybody else.

“Okay” you mom takes a deep breath, trying to stop her tears, “Remember, a full load of laundry dries faster than half a load. Always take the stairs. Don't sweat the petty things”

“Yes, mom”

“Your father will be here all week campaigning in case…” her voice breaks “If you need anything, anything, call Yuki”

You nod softly, “I will, mom. But I’ll be okay”

Your mom hugs you tightly, letting some tears fall as she kisses your head, then letting go. Next comes your father, who holds your face in his hands softly as he stares at you as if trying to engrave your face in his memories.

“I…”

You sigh, smiling at the way your father blinks faster than normally as he tries to stop his eyes from getting teary.

“Just say you’ll miss me, dad”

“I’ll miss you, munchkin” he hugs you tightly, “As soon as elections are over, we’ll have a father-daughter day. And I mean the 24 whole hours”

“In a row?” You ask laughing.

“It’s a promise. If you dare try to reject my offer I’ll just kidnap you, I can do that” you laugh at his words, “Be good and have fun, okay?

You nod and stay there as they get inside the limo. Drying the tears that had fallen from your eyes as you watch them go.

“Are you guys gonna at least talk to me?” You ask them once you start making your way back inside, “I mean, since you’ll be following 24/7”

Sukuna stays quiet, barely even reacting to your voice, while Nanamo gives you a small nod of acknowledgment with what appears to be a fond look.

“Maybe as a thank you for not choosing to major in something like premed”

You let out a laugh as you arrive to the floor of your studio, although your laugh fades as your eyes connect to the prettiest shade of blue you’d ever seen at the end of the hall. 

TAG LIST: @aishies-stuff @kouyoumarryme @mikyapixie @simbaaas-stuff @ichikanu

[onlyrains]

Halo!! Can I request a yuken x sachios's bestfriend? Where yuken really likes the reader and tries to make her notice but the reader is oblivious, so yuken had enough and confessed to her! Thank youu!! I love your works so much! ♡♡

a/n: hi!!! thank you for requesting! this was spontaneous and i hope you like it! and also thank you so much for loving my works, that means a lot!❤️

———

[11:23am]

—t/w: kissing, harsh words

to have a complete, supportive, and rich family is a biggest blessing, you always thought. and that is not something you're blessed with.

luckily for you, god have sent sachio as your best friend as a redemption to it.

you met him in middle school as a classmate until one day you helped a little girl crying on the side of the road who turns out to be his sister, you two become a best friend.

you know from the deepest part of your heart, he's one of the people that you're going to keep forever. he's just too good to be true as a best friend—or even as a human in general. you won't forget that day when he offered you to live in his big big house because your work is nearer from his place than yours. so that you can walk everyday and save up more money to give to your parents.

little did you know, he also feel very grateful to have you as his people. you know who he is and never be judgmental about it even though you never understand a bit. he is the reserved type of person yet so many burden on his shoulder and you never hesitate to lend yours whenever he needed without adding more pressure to him.

both of you just so thankful to have each other and always keep things below the limit so the relationship is stable to say at least.

living in his house is such a grace because the amount of working maid here is enough to make you only minding your own business. and that time when his friends visiting is the only time you were out of your room because the maids won't complain when you're helping at this particular moment. at least, you have to serve the guests, right?

the more you socialize with them, the more they feel like a friend to you too. especially that one friend, who visit more frequent lately, yuken. like you know him enough to say that he is a good guy although his cocky attitude often inviting an eye roll from you. but seriously though, they usually come in a horde, but why this odajima yuken come by himself for two weeks in a row now?

“is there a problem?” you ask bluntly as you put a welcome drink on to the table.

yuken staring at you for a few seconds before taking the drink calmly. the eye contact lingers.

“yes.”

“really? but sachio haven't home since yesterday. is that something serious?”

“you sounds like his mom.” he chuckled.

“no, i'm not.”

“yes, you are.”

you frowned. his tone shouldn't be sounds so playful in such a precarious situation, right?

“you better call him, yuken.”

“i can take care myself.”

“huh? then go? why are you still here?”

“did you just throw me out? this isn't even your house tho?”

ouch.

he is always like this. annoying, cocky, even flirty, and overall a menace. you still trying to get used to it as his attractiveness keep making you forgetting it. you do admit he is damn attractive—like, annoyingly attractive.

you inhaled deeply before got up. “just call sachio. i'm sorry i can't be here with you now, need to take care a couple thing,”

he rests his back on the sofa. heart thumping like crazy contrary with his demeanor and smirk on his lips.

“the problem is here, sweetheart.”

oh, you wonder does he always did this to other people? this is not the first time you heard this from him but you aren't familiar with pet names so it is always make you feel something.

“what do you mean? am i the problem?”

“you are.”

huh?

“i heard you doing an amazing job at work,” he scoffs. “but why not this one?”

you came back to the sofa and sat closer to him this time. confusion and anger etched across your forehead. “what are you trying to say?”

“did you receive the daisies? the coffees? the bento? the—”

“wait what?”

yuken let out a soft giggle seeing your face processing everything these past few weeks.

“so those were for me?”

“who else?”

“and—FROM YOU?”

“who else?”

“oh.”

shame on you, girl. really. you thought it was for the company by using your name as the receiver. so you gave most of them to your co-worker.

“is it enough for me to call you stupid?” yuken grins while take your chin up to met his eye.

you really want to punch the shit out of him but that is just your cheap way to get away from this embarrassing situation and that's not nice at all.

you sighed and trying to back away but his fingers was faster to catch you up, no other option for you except to move closer, making his face is just inches away from yours.

“yuken—”

“shhh. i don't think you got the point, blossom.” his thumb caresses your cheek like it's the only thing they do. feels so familiar and comforting.

but shit. what is he talking about?

“huh?” you murmur while your eyes wandering his face like the answer is hidden there. the second your eyes laid on his forehead, you catch a small dried leaf hanging on his hair, causing your hand to reach for it in a blink.

“where were you—why is it so dirty?” you said absentmindedly.

yuken stared intently before laugh it off to hide the racing blood inside him. he put his head on your shoulder while still laughing and now your blood turn to race to your cheeks while feeling his warm breath fanning your neck.

your body freeze as realizing this is the closest distance you ever get with yuken—even a guy. you do lend each other shoulder with sachio sometimes. but not in this face-to-face position even after he grabbed your chin twice. this is too intimate and you can barely breath.

“w-why are you laughing?”

“are you always this oblivious? like are you trapped into a spell or something?”

“i'm not—”

“i think i know why,” he adjust his position and take your hand in his. “i only do this to you, stupid. do you think it's such a habit for me to send everyone those things at work? no, right? do you see me as someone like that?”

you shook your head.

“that's right. so what is the reason?” he waits to let you think, to stop denying the thoughts you have in mind since almost two months ago, to stop feeling afraid of affection you may receive, to stop arguing with the voice in your head.

your grip in his hand got tighter as you found honesty and sincerity in his eyes that don't usually sparkling.

you nod twice. “i just stopped denying.” you say innocently and yuken can't help but ruffled your hair.

“ah, how cute.” he chuckling.

“but is it true—i mean, why? how?”

he clears his throat shakily. “it is true. i just can't resist everything i feel for you these past few months. the more i see you whenever i'm here makes it harder everytime to go without stealing you with me. you're just… i don't know. i like everything in you.”

you watch his lips move effortlessly for every word he said. he was just being spontaneous and you can see that. it was still genuine though, you can feel it. it is the first time you see him on his nerves while shaking subtly.

“thank you.” you say.

his eyebrow rise in unison. “what do you mean by thank you?”

“for everything you feel about me and everything you gave? it's more—”

“and?” he cuts, impatient.

“you don't accept rejection, do you?” you laugh.

“you're right, i don't. it's the first time i feel this kind of feeling and emotion—i even let those bald jerks making fun of me when i come—”

you decided to shut his ramble with your own mouth. it was just a peck but then his hand placed on your nape to pull you closer. he tilt his head for a better access and his lips hugging yours just perfect. your hands squeezing his shoulder as the heat escalated in your body. a knot forming in your stomach when he refused to pull away.

“i-i can't breath.” you say when you finally manage to broke the kiss and both of your forehead still stick together.

he’s breathing heavily, eyes still glued on you. “does that mean we are…?”

“yes.” you say confidently. succeed to let your first guard down. “we're dating.” you cringed a bit.

a mischievous smile appear in his lips. “oh? i was about to ask you are we going to get married?”

“huh?”

“huh?”

“yuken, are you serious?”

“no.” he grins. you were ready to throw hands but he held it back first then closing the gap between you again. he even take off his glasses this time.

“you know why sachio not here since yesterday?”

“no.”

“because i told him not to.”

you gasp. “how dare you?”

“he even advised his sister to stay at her friend's house today.” oh, that cocky tone again. “guess i'm the boss now. thanks to you.”

“god, so they know?”

“everyone are already know about my feelings, silly. you were the only one who oblivious.”

“oh? i'm sorry. let me make it up.”

“how?”

“is this enough?” you kiss him again and pull away a few second later, deciding to let your mischief side arise since you were also wanting to do that for a long time now.

“no.” he kisses you, deeper this time.

“yuken, that's enough.” sachio's low voice echoed causing you to push away your-new-boyfriend and his back meet the end of the sofa roughly.

yuken squeaks loudly. “fuck you sachio. i just got abused in the first ten minutes of my relationship.”

[homeofthelonelywriter]

K.I.A. | Oneshot

(A/N) This one could really hit hard. Please take care of yourself.

Pairing: Simon x Reader (no Y/N)

Warning: lots of angst, death of a loved one, depression, grief, alcohol, comfort in the end

Synopsis: I don't think there is a need for a synopsis. The title says it all.

It was supposed to be fine.

It was supposed to be safe.

“It’s going to be a quick and easy mission, love. I’ll be back in no time.”

That’s what he had said.

That’s what he had promised.

But he lied.

The mission wasn’t quick. It wasn’t easy. He wouldn’t be back in no time.

He was dead.

Killed in action, an honorable death.

To hell with them. To hell with their honorable death. Death isn’t honorable, death is death. And now he’s gone. And I’ll never see him again.

It’s his funeral and I can’t even look at them. The ones that survived. Price, Soap, Gaz. They all came back but he didn’t. He didn’t and he never will.

They hand me a flag, folded into a triangle. If I could, I would throw it at their heads. If I could, I would yell at them. If I could, I would I hit them. But I can’t. I can’t do anything, but stand there, hold that stupid flag and cry while they fire off their shots. I can’t do anything.

Well, I can do something. I can lie in bed. I can cry, a lot. I can ignore my hunger until I almost throw up. I can see his shadow, trick myself into thinking that he’s back. That he’s alive.

And I can think of him. Of all the good memories. How we met. The first time we kissed. How he asked me out. Our first date. The birthday he gave me the puppy.

The puppy…at the though of Riley, I sit up. At least until I realise that my mom took her after the funeral. She was safe, cared for. I was alone. So fucking alone.

I don’t know how much time passed, a week? Maybe a month. Perhaps even two.

I finally get up and take a shower. I smell after all.

The shower feels incredibly small without Simon behind me.

And that’s how I start crying again. I sit under the stream for what feels like hours before I finally find the strength to get out and dry off my body before falling back onto my bed.

But now it’s getting better.

I take showers from time to time.

Sometimes I even eat some food. I don’t cook anything, everything I’ve had, had spoiled by now, but I just order in.

It’s been four months since Price stood at my door and told me he was dead. That Simon would never come back. And I’ve finally found a way to dull the pain.

Alcohol isn’t the answer, of course. But for now it’s the only thing that is making me feel even slightly alive.

I spent most my day at the bar nearby, what else am I supposed to do?

Home makes me think about Simon.

Work makes me think about Simon.

Hanging out with my family or friends make me think of Simon.

We had never gone to this bar together, so I’m safe here. And the alcohol drowns out my thoughts of him. Well, most of them anyway. At least it leaves enough sense to find my way back home.

It’s become some sort of ritual. Get out of bed, get dressed, go to the bar, get shitfaced and go back home.

Today isn’t any different. Why should it be? But why…does it feel different.

I usually spend multiple hours there, but today I just want to get back home. After I pay for the drink I actually had, I make my way home. But I feel watched, the whole way back. At least I’ll feel better as soon as I’m in bed.

I unlock the front door and walk inside, not paying any mind to the big shadow standing in the hallway, or to how similar it looks to Simon. Instead, I lock the door behind me and shrug off the jacket I’m wearing, hanging it up.

I walk past the shadow and to the staircase leading up and to the bedroom I share…shared with Simon. But something stops me. One word.

“Love?”

I freeze not moving a single muscle. It can’t be him. But it sounds like him. But he’s dead. But it looks like him.

Stiff, almost like a robot, I turn around and look at the shadow. And I see Simon.

“You’re not real.”

I shake my head and start walking up the stairs.

“Love, it’s me. I’m sorry, I-”

I cut him off as I spin around and slap him across the face. That used to get rid of the hallucinations, but…he’s still here. His head whips to the right from the impact, but he doesn’t move.

“Simon…”

He looks at me. He is here. So I touch him.

I place my hands against his chest, against his beating heart.

And it is beating. He is alive. He is here.

I move my hands to his shoulder. They are as broad and hard as I remember.

I move them to his neck, feel his pulse. He is here. He is alive.

“Simon.”

I only realise that I’m crying when Simon lifts his hands and carefully wipes them away.

“Simon.”

A sob wracks through me and I let him wrap his arms around me.

Another sob and I let him pull me closer.

My body shakes as he holds it to his.

His body. Firm and warm. Hard, covered in muscles.

He is here. He is alive.

“You were dead.”

He tightens his hold on me.

“I know, love. I know.”

I claw at his jacket, trying to get him closer.

“I cried for you.”

Again, his hold tightens.

“I know. I wish I could’ve done something. All I could do was watch.”

I continue to cry and sob in his arms.

At some point, Simon picks me up and carries me upstairs. But not to the bed. To the bathroom.

Carefully, he sets me down on the edge of the bathtub before he turns on the shower. With hands, as gentle as I remember them, he undresses me, before he undresses himself.

He navigates me into the shower, before he carefully washes me. All the while, holding me close and consoling me whenever I have another break down.

And then, he leaves me there. He leaves the water on and it feels like he’s gone again. Maybe I just imagined him. Him being here. Him consoling me. Him taking care of me.

But I didn’t.

He joins me in the shower again after ten minutes.

“I just changed the sheets real quick. Let’s get you out of here, princess.”

Once again he picks me up and carries me to the edge of the bathtub. He had placed a towel there, so I don’t feel the cold of the metal when he sets me down.

Carefully, as if I were made out of porcelain he dried my body before he pulled one of his old t-shirts over my head. Once he is dry as well, he carries me into the bedroom and places me on the bed, before he gently tugs me in.

“I’ll be right back, my love. I’ll just get you a glass of water.”

He presses a kiss to my forehead and is about to walk away when I catch his wrist.

“Please don’t leave. Don’t leave me again.”

He turns to look at me and opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.

“Simon, please. I…I can’t loose you again.”

Tears are rolling down my cheeks again. And this is what he needed.

He nods and climbs into bed beside me, immediately pulling me close against his chest.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry my love. I’ll never leave you again. I promise. Never again.”

I nod but continue to sob into his chest. And this is how I fall asleep.

I wake up the next morning, alone in bed.

“Simon? Simon!”

Without thinking, I try to rush to the door, but my feet get tangled in the sheets. I fall to the floor, but get up immediately.

Please let him be there. Please let him be alive. Please.

Please please please please please pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseple-

“Love? Are you alright?”

He is here. He is alive.

“You…you are here. You are alive.”

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull myself up, wrapping my legs around his waist. His arms immediately wrap around me and support my weight completely.

“Ssh, it’s okay my love. I’m here. I promise you I’m here.”

Like a baby, he started to gently bounce me up and down until I slowly started to calm down. Now I know why that works on babies.

For the rest of the morning, I stay there, wrapped securely in his arms, while he cooks pancakes and cleans the dishes. I even eat in his arms.

And even after that, I’m hesitant to leave them. But I do. I let him set me down on the couch and watch him as he flies through the house and cleaned the messes that had accumulated since his ‘death’.

His ‘death’.

“Why?”

Simon stops in his tracks and turns to look at me.

“Why what, my love?”

I sigh, already feeling bad about asking this question. But I need to know.

“Why did you fake your death? And why didn’t you tell me?”

Now Simon sighs. He puts away the broom and sits down next to me.

“There was a mole in the 141 and we had to flush them out. This was the only way we could think of. I’m so so sorry love. I promise, I tried my best to get them to change their mind. Or to at least let me tell you, but the mole…he had to buy it and…”

“They were afraid I wouldn’t fake it well enough.”

Simon nods, sadness clear in his eyes.

I nod. And I can’t say that I don’t understand. I knew what I was getting into when I started dating him. I just never thought it would go that far.

“Si…please never do that again.”

He shakes his head and picks me up, putting me down on his lap.

“Never, princess. I’ll never leave you again. I swear on my grave.”

At that statement I pull back slightly and look at him. His lips were pulled into a slight smile. And then I start laughing.

“You are such an idiot.”

Simon chuckles and nods before pulling me back onto his chest.

“I’m sorry, love. I just couldn’t help myself.”

I shake my head and cuddle into him and I know this is going to be alright. We are going to be alright.

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Call of Duty - Masterlist

Master-Masterlist

[sjswrites]

Baby Gay

Summary: Working on set with your best friend was supposed to be fun, but something feels... off.

A/N: A bit of a long one, buuut I promise it's worth it.

Masterlist

“It’s pretty nice working with your best friend, huh?” I playfully threw my shoulder into Hailee’s arm as we walked off set.

“It’s alright, I guess.” She replied sarcastically before throwing her arm over me and my arm slide around her waist.

“Nice work, ladies.” The blonde brit approached as I greeted her with a smile. When Hailee didn’t give her usual, ‘thank you’, my eyes shot up to check on her. To my surprise, Hailee’s eyes were glued to Florence.

“Thanks, Pugh. I mean, you absolutely killed it out there!” I gushed as her eyes nervously fell to the floor.

“Not as good as you, darling. You’re so talented.” Her golden green eyes locked with mine.

I chuckled to myself. “Oh shut up.” I shoved her shoulder away.

“I’m serious!” She protested through giggles. “Do you two have plan for dinner tonight?” I visually checked in with Hailee who had yet to say anything.

“Yeah.” I answered for both of us. “My mom actually invited us over for dinner tonight.” My arm wrapped around hers and squeezed to bring her back to reality.

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah. Sorry, I forgot to mention that on the drive over.”

“I see.” Florence’s smile slightly dimmed. “Another time.”

“Forsure.” Hailee finally spoke to Florence.

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Her eyes bounced between ours before we walked away to the trailers.

I finished getting changed first as I knocked on Hailee’s trailer door. “Hey, Haiz.” My hand slowly pulled the door open as I entered. Hailee had her back to me with her baggy jeans and white tank on. Her hazel eyes looked at me over her shoulder. “Hey, babe.” She threw her leather jacket over her shoulders. “Ready?”

“No.” Hailee froze for a second before adjusting her jacket. “Not until you tell me what’s wrong?”

“What?!” She tried to push past me. “What are you talking about?”

My hand held her at bay. “Don’t bullshit me, Steinfeld.” I shoved her back. “You were in your head when we- Actually, when I was talking to Florence.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She tried to get past me again as her arm snuck around me and opened the door. “Come on. Let’s not keep your mom waiting.”

“Hailee,” My hand landed on hers as I closed the door. A new look grew on Hailee. One I had never seen before. She was mad. She was mad at me. “We’re not going to my mom’s.”

“What?! But you said- Why?!”

“I just said that because you didn’t seem like you were in a good headspace.” My hand peeled hers from the door.

She took a deep breath. I waited patiently for the flood gates, instead I got chuckles in my face. “It’s not that. It’s just- It’s stupid. Can we just for get about it please?”

She shook her head and started for the door again. I grabbed her chin and made her look me in the eyes. “Tell. Me.” The swirls of light brown and green now locked with mine. My safety net. My safehouse. My place. My home. Although something had shifted. Something on her face that I couldn’t quite read.

“I got nervous.” Her eyes danced between mine. “I… I have a crush.”

My eyebrows raised. “On Florence?”

“Yeaah.” Her voice fell unconfidently with shakiness in her single word. Nervousness? Embarrassment?

“Aww. Really?” My lip pouted out. “Aw, look at my baby gay with her first gay panic.” I pinched her cheek as she swatted my hand away. “Welcome to the Alphabet Mafia. I knew you’d join me eventually.” We shared at laugh as I opened the door. “We’re getting celebratory burgers! On me!” I skipped out as Hailee followed while shaking her head.

“Have you thought about telling your family?” I asked while driving Hailee home.

“Um, yeah. I think they’ll be fine with it.”

“Psh, yeah they will. They love you so much. I wouldn’t see why not. I’m just saying if you ever have any questions, you know you can talk to me right?” I took a flash look at her in the passenger seat. Her head looked out the window and her mind on someone else. My hand stretched over the console and onto her thigh. She slightly jumped at contact. “You really like this girl, huh?”

“I don’t know.” She mindlessly answered.

The car pulled into her driveway as I threw it park. “What else is bothering you?” My body leaned against the door.

“What? Nothing's bothering me.”

With my arms crossed over my chest, I gave her a look of really? “Hailee, I can read you like a children’s book. Stop holding back from me.”

“I actually- I don’t know.” She threw her head into the headrest. “What about coming out to the public? What if it’s just a phase or what if the press ruins the relationship or what if-?”

“Babe.” Her quick spew of words came to halt. “Fuck them. You only need to come out to the people you care about. If they truly care about you, then then will love you and Florence.” She bit her lip and looked out the window again. “Hey,” I squeezed her thigh. “You deserve to be happy. And if your happiness makes other people upset, then that’s on them. You’re not responsible for their emotions and feelings. Understand?” She nodded.

I got up and walked around the car. I opened her door and opened my arms. Her worried melted in my arms as I squeezed her tight. “Get some sleep. Don’t forget you’re picking me up tomorrow. I will see you the morning.” My hand slightly pushed on her waist as she peeled away. “The second one is the most important. Please don’t forget that one.” She giggled as we walked to her door. “There she is.” I sang as we stopped at her door. On my toes, I pecked a kiss on her cheek. “Goodnight, Haiz.”

“Goodnight. Text me when you get home.” She opened her door with the biggest smile.

“Will do.”

With coffee in hand and bag in the other, my feet trudged out to Hailee’s car. “Well good morning, sunshine.” Hailee said with her typical early bird smile.

“I will never understand how you’re so chipper this early in the morning. I seriously need a gallon of coffee to recover from the World War 3 going on between my body and my mind just to get out fo bed.” She laughed.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that?”

“Well you chose me so what does that make you?”

“Hmm...crazy.” I shrugged as I took a sip of my coffee.

“You said it, not me.” Hailee reached her hand over onto my thigh as we drove off. This was one of the things I loved about my friendship. She understood how much of a cuddly person I am because she was one too. I’ve never had a friendship like this before. But Haiz wasn’t like my other friends. She knew me on a deeper level than most people. She was my rock and I was hers

Flashback to five years ago

“Hi, I’m Hailee.” The taller girl looked down at me with a sweet smile.

“Hi. I’m y/n.” I smiled back. “Sorry. I’m a little nervous. This is my first big movie like this.”

She simply smiled back. She didn’t make fun of me or belittle me. Instead, she playfully threw her shoulder into me. “You’re gonna do amazing. I can feel it.”

My back straightened up with confidence. “You know what? No. We are gonna do amazing.” I offered her my hand as she quickly took it and we walked onto set.

“I can’t believe you’re dating Niall Horan!” We only met a couple days ago, but it felt like we met a lifetime ago.

“I can’t believe you’re dating Dove-” My hand flew over her mouth.

“Shhh.” My head on a swivel as I looked around for any witnesses. “I’m not out yet.”

“What does that mean?”

“Out?” She nodded. “Like I haven’t told anyone that I’m…” I checked my surroundings again. “That I’m lesbian.” My head dropped. “To anyone really… I mean beside to Dove. Of course.” My head quickly snapped back up to her. “I guess that makes you the second person.”

“Well, I’m very honored to be the second.” Her face beaming with a prideful smile.

“You…” My confidence felt faulty as my eyes wandered off. “You don’t have to pretend. I get it if it makes you feel uncomfortable and you don’t wanna be my friend anymore.”

“No! No. No at all! I mean, you’re happy and in love. What more could you ask for?”

The glimmer of hope and love in my eyes could be seen from space. “Thank you…”

“For what?”

"For not leaving me.”

“You’re stuck with me forever now.”

“You know, you’re my favorite person in the whole world, right?” I took in her side profile as a little grin formed.

“Yeah.” She squeeze my thigh. “Of course, I love hearing you say it, though.”

“Can you promise me something?” She stopped at a red light and nodded for me to continue. “Promise me that no matter what happens, no matter who you end up with that you’ll still be my best friend.”

“I promise.” My hand squeezed the back of hers. “You’re stuck with me forever.”

My smile started to get too big as I bit my lip. “I didn’t know you could read minds.” My happiness now pouring out through the redness of my cheeks. “I know, I don’t say this nearly enough, but thank you. You do so much for me. You’ve always been there for me. Through all the highs and lows. Through thick and thin. I can’t imagine where I’d be without you.”

“And I would do it all over again. I quite literally would do anything for you.” Her attention went back to the road as the light changed.

“I’d do anything for you too. You know, I’d even third wheel with you so you can go after yet another blonde brit.” I chuckled to myself. “Although this one is a significant upgrade.” The car was silent as Hailee was focused on the road ahead. Whatever would get her closer to her newfound love interest. I let her mind wander as I pulled out my phone.

Hailee pulled into the parking lot as she threw her car in park. “Love,” Hailee said as I hopped out of the car. “I need to tell you something.”

My legs cautiously got back in the passenger seat with the door close behind me. “Well, that’s always a fun conversation starter.”

“Look, I just need you to listen to me. Just- just don’t say anything, okay?” I nodded as she took a deep breath. “I lied.” My eyebrows furrowed at her. “I don’t have a crush on Florence.” I tried to control my facial expressions as she continued. “Actually, I don’t have a crush on anyone.” She’s lost me now. So she doesn’t like women? “I’m actually in love.” I released my breath and pouted my lip. “With you.” I blinked a few times as my brain tried to process the last two words. With me? They spun around in my head as I started to get lightheaded. “I just saw Florence checking you out and complimenting you and, I don’t know, this like feeling in my stomach. I was angry and sad and hurt. It’s all confusing. Just thinking about you being with Florence made me sick. Maybe I’m just being possessive, but no one could ever love you like I could. I mean, if you’ll let me or even remotely feel the same. I’m scared I may be ruining this amazing friendship we have, but fuck it. I want to be happy and in love with you.” Hailee took a deep breath after the spiel.

“Can I speak now?” She nodded cautiously. “Hailee Steinfeld, can I please take you on a date tonight?”

She smiled. “I would love that more than anything.”

[estrellami-1]

If I Should Stay

This one is on time! Woohoo! 😂

Part 1 | . . . | Part 27 | Part 28 | Part 29

Eddie leaves eventually, Steve seeing him out. He jumps when he turns around and sees Alli standing there, smirk on her face, arms crossed. “Geez, Alli,” he laughs, “gonna have to put a bell on you.”

“Don’t deflect,” she says, but she’s smiling.

“You haven’t actually said anything yet,” he responds, and she gives him a look that screams, do I really need to?

After a few seconds of thought, he shrugs. “Fair enough. We’re waiting, for now.”

“For what?”

“The end of the end of the world.”

“Christ,” she laughs, moving to ruffle his hair, “you’re dramatic.” She inclines her head towards the kitchen. “Hot chocolate?”

He smiles and nods. “Haven’t had a cup as good as yours in thirteen years, Al, think I’m about due.”

She gives him a sad sort of smile and ruffles his hair again. “Then I’ll just have to make this the best cup ever, to make up for all those, huh?”

“When’s the last time you saw me?” He asks suddenly, watching as she stirs the milk on the stove, adding a bit of cinnamon.

She frowns over at him. “This morning, before I left. Why?”

He shrugs. “Just wondering. Who’d you hang out with?”

A blush colors her cheeks. “Cassidy.”

“Oh,” he says, and grins at her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she agrees.

“It’s going well?”

“It’s going so well, bubba, I love her,” she breathes.

He grins and hands her the cocoa. “Yeah?”

“God, so much, we’re talking about finding a place and moving in together, and I can’t wait.”

“How long have you been together?”

“About a year and a half. It’s hard, y’know? You don’t know who’s safe and who isn’t.”

Steve hums. “I know.”

“But it’s going… really well, God, and now that you know, everyone important knows.”

Steve grins. “Mom and Dad?”

Alli laughs. “Never. A few other friends, a few of her friends, though we’re mostly all friends. She’s got a little brother too, a little younger than you, and he knows too.”

He narrows his eyes at her. He remembers Cassidy’s younger brother. “How old do you think I am?”

She gives him a shit-eating grin before shrugging. “I dunno, like, eight?”

“Asshole,” he says, but he’s laughing, and she’s laughing, and he’s happy.

The night doesn’t last forever, though; soon enough their mugs are drained and they’re both yawning, and they promise to catch up tomorrow over coffee before Steve has school and Alli has work.

That plan is derailed when Alli shakes Steve awake twenty minutes before he has to leave. “Shit,” he curses groggily, throwing open his closet doors and jumping out of his sleep pants at the same time. He settles on a polo and jeans before rushing over to his phone to call Robin, who answers just as groggily as he’d been.

“‘Lo?”

“Robs,” Steve says urgently, “school. Imma be there in fifteen.”

“Shit!” She screeches, and he hears her rush out of bed. “I owe you my life, I’ll get you a bagel, see you!”

With that, she ends the call and he chuckles as he rushes to the bathroom to try to tame his hair.

He squeezes Alli in passing before grabbing his car keys and rushing out the door, before just as quickly rushing in and grabbing his backpack. “Love you, bye!” She calls, but the door’s shut before he can answer.

Still, he calls a, “Love you!” Over his shoulder, in the off chance she hears it, before making his way to Robin’s house.

She throws open her door and runs to his car when he pulls up, waving to her mom, who appears in the doorway, looking mystified.

“Steve,” she says as soon as she’s seated, “I owe you my life.”

Steve chuckles and takes his bagel from her. “Yeah, you said that earlier. I honestly was calling just to see if I was gonna drive you or not.”

Robin snorts. “If you think I’d willingly put myself through the mortifying ordeal of riding the bus ever again, you clearly don’t know me as well as we thought.”

Steve chuckles. “I figured as much,” he agrees. “Then as it turns out you were still asleep, so the answer was pretty obvious. Forget to set your alarm?”

She groans and throws her head back. “Yes. I’m not used to being in school.”

Steve nods. “Same here, Alli woke me up twenty minutes before I had to leave.”

Robin smiles. “She seems cool.”

“Alli? She is. She’s the coolest, honestly, she was super cool when I told her about Eddie. Oh!” He says suddenly, flapping a hand her direction. “Eddie!”

Her brows fly into her hairline. “Eddie?”

“He stayed last night,” Steve starts. “Well, stayed later, anyways. We went out onto my roof and smoked a joint together and just… started talking, y’know? And, uh.” He can feel his cheeks turn scarlet. “We decided to wait until after the end of the world. But we do wanna try.” He bites his lip and says, quieter, wondering, “He thinks I’m worth waiting for. Working for. He’s gonna try, after you and I are back in our present.”

“Steve,” Robin whispers, staring at him. “That’s great, I’m so happy for you.”

He smiles shyly. “Thanks,” he whispers. “I’m hopeful, y’know?”

“Yeah,” she whispers back, and he knows she does actually understand.

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[bi-bard]

No Saints Ever Watched Over Me - Kaz Brekker Imagine [Shadow & Bone]

Title: No Saints Ever Watched Over Me

Pairing: Kaz Brekker X Sun Summoner!Reader

Word Count: 1,798 words

Warning(s): canon-typical violence

Summary: Kaz held onto the belief that no saints had looked out for him and none were in a rush to rescue him. When forced to face the very saint that he refused to believe in, will Kaz accept that he was wrong or continue on his path of denial and avoidance?

Author's Note: Here's how one piece of dialogue made me want to throw all sorts of canon to the wolves just so this idea could happen.

---------------------------

At some point, hiding became as natural as breathing.

My parents taught me to hide before most things.

They were the only ones who knew about my... condition that I hadn't directly told.

They had seen the sunlight that coursed through my veins. The prophecy unfolding in their very home. The future presented to them on a silver platter.

They knew what would happen if I was ever discovered. They never wanted me to hear, but I did. They knew that I would be hunted for the rest of my life. That I would be shoved into harm's way in the name of Ravka. Men would be happy to watch my blood spill for their battles if they were wrapped in the flag of their country.

I was young when a group of men showed up at their door.

My dad took me away. As far away as he could. My mom didn't have a chance.

When he knew that what was happening was inevitable, he told me to run. Run, hide, and never tell anyone about my gift.

I was alone.

I never saw my power as a gift. Especially not after that day. In one swoop, this "gift" had taken everything from me.

And I still had to survive despite that.

I settled in Ketterdam. Alone and terrified. I needed to find work and a place to stay while I was still very young.

Working with Kaz Brekker was an accident more than anything else. It had been a few years since I had seemed to plant my feet on the ground. I had made friends with Jesper, who had offered me a chance to make myself a decent amount of money.

After that, Kaz seemed to come to me for every mission they had. I don't know why. As far as he was able to know, Kaz could have found a hundred people who were just like me.

Granted, I didn't have to keep working with him. I could have taken another job. But I didn't. Working with Kaz just felt right. Working with the Crows felt right.

I was a regular part of the team.

It was nice.

None of them seemed willing to say it out loud but it was like having a family. A real family for the first time in ages.

I kept my... situation private. They didn't truly need to know.

However, I knew that it would be foolish to think that I could hide it from them forever. It did take them longer than

Inej was the first to find out.

Kaz had noticed that something was "off" about me. Something was different. He couldn't figure out what that thing was. And Kaz Brekker hated not knowing everything about a situation.

He sent her to spy on me for the night. Follow me. See who I did business with, who I met for drinks, who I brought home with me (which I never did).

I had been curled at the foot of my bed after a long, exhausting day. I was tired and sad and angry all at the same time. I needed something of comfort. I allowed a ball of sunlight to form in my hand and sit in my palm. The fog and dreariness of Ketterdam didn't allow for one to enjoy a moment in the sunshine, so I had to make my own.

Inej must have caught me just as I was sitting there with it.

Not that she told me.

Instead, she went straight back to Kaz with what she had learned.

I could imagine what his reaction was. The disbelief, the anger at the insistence, and the dismissal of the whole event with some comment about it all being some clever trick on my part.

I hope she asked him what the point of a trick was when I was alone.

I only found out that Inej knew when I was told to go meet Kaz in his office. As I passed the bar, Inej and Jesper watched me go by. I watched Inej's hand move to her forehead and chest. I furrowed my eyebrows for a moment. I hadn't told her anything, so why did she do that?

Kaz was standing behind his desk when I walked in.

"Close the door," he instructed bluntly. I did so.

I walked over to stand across from him, waiting for some indication of what this was all about.

"What are you," he asked.

I paused for a moment. "Excuse me?"

"What are you?" he repeated, putting an emphasis on each word.

"I'm (Y/n), you allow me to work with you because I can fight, and you said that I can be pretty clever-"

"I said what, not who."

"Will you just tell me what this is about," I asked. "I clearly don't know."

"I had Inej follow you last night."

"Kaz!"

"You were hiding something from me," he tried to explain.

"So you sent someone to watch me? That is incredibly invasive!"

"She saw your trick," he continued. "The sunlight in your hand."

I felt frozen. The motion at the bar suddenly made sense to me. Inej was firm in her beliefs. Private, but firm. She saw me and thought that I was the saint that the stories were about.

"How did you do it?"

"I... I just can," I shrugged. "You think it was a trick."

"I know it was a trick," he replied. "The sun summoner wouldn't hide away in Ketterdam."

I took a deep breath. "My parents paid for me to get here. They knew what I was. They knew what would happen if the Grisha got their hands on me. It was meant to protect me. I kept my head down. I stayed quiet. Worked with you for money because it was the safest choice I had at the time."

Kaz didn't speak up. He didn't truly believe me. Not entirely. I wasn't surprised by that. Kaz had trust issues when it came to normal people. Never mind... someone like me.

I took a step away from the desk. I let a ball of sunlight form in my hand.

Kaz slowly walked around the desk. He studied me, stepping in a small circle around me. He was looking for the trick. The effect. Some sign that what Inej had seen was wrong.

He stopped in front of his desk again.

I closed my hand, scuffing out the sunlight.

"You are never to do that unless in the presence of me, Inej, and Jesper. Understood?"

"I know how to hide," I replied. "I've been doing this for a long time now."

He just nodded to me.

I kept to that agreement as best I could. I never showed my gift outside of my room. The only time anyone else saw it was when Inej came by, begging to know if it was all true.

She tried to praise me. Call me a saint.

I didn't let her. I begged her to not see me as a hero because I wasn't one. I had no interest in being one. All I wanted was some semblance of normalcy. She respected that.

My agreement with Kaz didn't crumble until I saw it as absolutely necessary.

He had told me to join him to get through the door of some place.

He had been doing that more and more. Having me work directly by his side. I had no interest in questioning it, but I did notice it.

It had been going well. However, the number of guards had been greatly underestimated.

The only part that I truly remember was one of the guards choking Kaz. His cane had been thrown across the room from him. I didn't have the physical strength to stop the guard. I knew that.

So, as if on instinct, I threw a ball of sunlight at him.

He fell to the ground, allowing Kaz to lean back against the wall and catch his breath.

I ran over to grab his cane. I walked over slowly, holding it out to him. He snatched it from my hand, an angry look taking over his features.

"Are you alright," I asked.

He didn't bother with my question, instead posing one of his own, “What the hell were you thinking?”

“That you were about to die."

“You could have gotten yourself killed, hunted! All that you have claimed to have been terrified of!”

"You would truly rather die by the hand of your own stubbornness than ever thank someone for their help," I rolled my eyes.

"You agreed to never use your powers around others! I don't need you to save me!"

I scoffed at him. “Kaz, I understand that you think you’re invincible, but please believe me when I say that you are nowhere close.”

“And you are?” he stepped closer to me.

“Would you like to compare a list of things that I could survive versus what you could survive? I really don’t think you would because you would end up quite embarrassed!”

Kaz’s jaw clenched as he merely continued glaring. As if he were stunned that I had the nerve to yell at him the way I did. To question his power and control and leadership the way I did.

“I hate to tell you this, but you have people who care for you, Kaz Brekker,” I continued. “There are people that actually don’t want you dead. Let them help you. That’s why you have a crew in the first place.”

"Don't claim to be my savior."

"Don't claim that you never need to be saved!"

The silence after that was tense. He was angry and the boss of the whole gang. I was angry and able to scorch the earth beneath his feet.

"We have work to do," I finally muttered, walking around him.

"What happened to keeping your... affliction a secret," he asked as I did so.

I stopped at the door, turning back to him. "If the choice was letting you die or exposing my secret, then the choice would be you. Every single time."

There was a long pause before Kaz spoke up, "Why?"

There was another, even longer pause. "Is it not obvious?"

His face didn't shift. Not at all.

I had some feeling in my chest that he knew the answer to his question long before he asked it. Maybe he just needed the personal confirmation. Maybe he wanted me to say something entirely different so that it would bring some comfort. Allow him some escape route from his own feelings.

"Can we go now," I asked.

He nodded. "Fine."

Kaz may not have believed in saints. But I would like to believe that some part of him believed in me.

And that was enough for me.

---------------------------

Navigation Guide

What I Write For

Some Original Characters

[crazylittlejester]

I’m gonna go on a crazy ass rant because I’m upset and also very tired

A huge reason as to why I characterize Warriors the way that I do, regarding his fear of being poisoned and his food anxiety, is a way to explain myself and my own anxieties caused by my allergies, because when I say to someone I don’t think I can eat the food at the party/function/their house EVEN IF it was specifically made to be free of my allergens, they just don’t understand why I can’t eat it. They just don’t understand that just because it’s ‘safe’ doesn’t mean I feel safe enough to eat it, because there’s always that lingering ‘What if’ in my mind that food made outside of my vision is contaminated somehow.

It is so HARD to explain to people the genuine fear that you are going to die because a food created an odd texture in your mouth and you gave yourself a panic attack over nothing. It breaks my heart every time I go to my friends house and her mom offers to make me food because I’ve been at her house for thirteen hours and haven’t eaten a meal with them, because even though she cleans everything and offers to let me watch her make it, there’s still this loud screaming voice in my mind saying that that food is not safe to eat. And it just NEVER goes away. I feel awful because her mom is so sweet and willing to help me, and I just can’t ever accept because I manage to convince myself it’s contaminated every time

I have been dealing with this for my entire life and never not once have I been able to get someone to understand what this feels like or seen it shown in a media form anywhere. I’ve had family and therapists both just tell me to get over myself, because I’m being ‘ridiculous’ and the craziest thing to me EVER is that for the first time in nineteen years, I have had an outlet to throw this frustration into. Warriors and the food issues I have given him are so important to me because for the first time in my life I can explain this fear through a character and even if people may not relate or really, truly get what it’s like, they understand. They understand and they recognize it as a valid fear, and it’s because of a fanfiction about a traumatized war hero. (which is INSANE to me that this is what it took for people to understand, but you know what, I’ll take it)

This rant was inspired because I opened a sealed container of ice cream and the allergen labels were incorrect and now I can’t eat it and I’ve wasted money and I’m so upset and it’s been a really long week, but also because I never saw anyone talking about this when I was a kid, and if I’d had someone there to represent me like this, or just be there for me to connect with, I would’ve felt a lot better. Understanding allergies and food restrictions is so important for so many reasons, the most important being that if you know how to help someone, you can save their LIFE. And for other people who feel the same way I do, it’s so GOOD to know you’re not alone and that there’s someone out there who gets what you’re dealing with

If I can make people understand what it’s like to live life this way, then that is so important to me. If I can explain to people what to do in an emergency situation because their friend is having a allergic reaction, I will, because not enough people understand how allergies work, and I’m sick and tired of hearing stories about kids with allergies who were peer pressured into eating when they didn’t feel comfortable and then suffering the consequences, and I am TIRED of seeing companies mislabel their fucking food.

Also do NOT be afraid to ask any friends or classmates or coworkers with allergies how to use an epi pen because You Could Save Their Life. If anyone is curious, I’LL tell you, or look up a youtube video I’m sure there are some on there

Anyways, this is why I give Warriors the food issues I do in my fics, for anyone else out there with allergies who’s ever felt invalidated by people telling them their anxieties were stupid, and so people who have no idea what it’s like to fear your food will kill you can try to understand that this is the irritating reality for some of your peers. (not that everyone with allergies has this exact experience, I have a friend with allergies who just eats whatever and prays it wont kill them, but I know now that there are plenty of people out there with allergies who DO have this experience)

Sorry for kinda ranting, (I’m just a little guy 🥺), but this is something that is so hugely important to me, and sorry Warriors but you had too similar of a problem so now you get my exact issues 🫶

[jennay]

My Best Friend (5)

Authors Note: I’m working on this and Im ok with taking some requests id you guys have them too! Just read the rules please ❤️

Summary: Noah meets readers family and suddenly things make sense.

Words: 3400ish

Chapters- 1/2/3/4

Master List

You watch as Noah checks himself out in the full-length mirror by the door. His face is etched with worry, and you can hear the panic in his voice. “This isn’t it,” he mutters, tugging at his oversized white graphic t-shirt. He ruffles his dark, short hair, hoping it will fall into place and not look like he just rolled out of bed.

You stand up from the bed, your feet hitting the cold wooden floors as you lazily walk over to him. “We’ve been lounging in bed for two hours. We should’ve gotten up earlier if you were going to be this picky.” You stand beside him, bringing your hand up to the back of his hair. You run your fingers through the thick, silky strands, trying to tame the random waves. His eyes close, and he almost purrs under your touch. “There,” you say, slowly dropping your hand to your side. “That looks better.”

“I’m not prepared to meet everyone. Look at my clothes…” Noah chuckles, rummaging through his duffle bag with a playful grin. “I’m gonna be honest, Jolly made it sound like we were just chilling with your sister, and now I’m meeting your other siblings and your mom. I’ve only had 24 hours as your fake boyfriend—I need more practice!” He pulls out a few items, tossing them onto the bed with a dramatic flick of the wrist. “I just have to act like myself, right?” Noah’s eyes land on you, pleading for reassurance. “Right?”

You laugh, shaking your head as you watch him. “Right. God, I’ve never seen you this nervous. We’re just meeting them for pizza,” you assure him. “It’s not like you’re asking them to marry me or that we need to have a full make-out session. Just be yourself, maybe add a little more affection.”

Noah looks down at his outfit, a mix of an oversized white graphic t-shirt and bright, mismatched socks—one with black and gray polka dots and the other with black and gray stripes. “Do you think they’ll notice my socks?” he asks, wiggling his toes.

You giggle, “They might, but it’ll just add to your charm." You let out a deep sigh, "I should’ve told them I married Jolly. That would probably be more believable at this point."

Noah pretends to be hurt as he roughly grabs his plain black shirt and slides it over his head, “I can’t believe you’d even say that to me, as your fake boyfriend I’m offended.” He teases placing his hand over his heart. “Alright help me out, does this scream perfect boyfriend?” His laughter fills the room with warmth making you smile.

You throw your sweater over your head. “Screams, I’m on a road trip and I packed lightly, which is why,” you gesture to your skinny jeans and sweater, “I’m also dressed like this.” You playfully roll your eyes, but there’s a hint of anxiety in your voice as Noah finishes putting on his outfit. “Come on,” you say, reaching your hand out to him. “We can look like trash together.”

Noah smirks, grabbing hold of your hand and letting you lead him to the kitchen where Kyle and your niece are waiting with Jolly. “Figured we can follow them,” Jolly says sheepishly, sensing the tension.

You go straight to your niece and scoop her up in your arms. She squeals with excitement as you smother her face with kisses. You laugh, but it’s a bit forced, pulling back as she does the same to you. “I missed you soooo much,” you say dramatically, trying to mask your unease. “Thought you were gonna sleep the day away.”

Lily stares at you for a second, smiling widely before her gaze turns to Noah. She stares up at him with big wide eyes. “You’re big… like a tree.”

You giggle, and Noah nods in agreement. “It’s because I ate all my broccoli growing up. Miniature trees turned me into a giant tree,” he says, laughing and giving her a small boop on the nose.

“That was the worst advice, Noah,” you say, setting her back on her feet. “Not every girl’s dream is to grow up and be 6’3”.”

Lily giggles and looks back at Noah. “Do you have to water yourself too?”

Noah chuckles, “Only when I’m thirsty. And sometimes I need a little sunshine too.”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Great, now she’s going to think she needs to sunbathe to grow taller.”

Lily looks at you with a mischievous grin. “Can I have ice cream to grow faster?”

You laugh, shaking your head. “Nice try, kiddo. But I think you’re perfect just the way you are.”

“Yeah no ice cream yet, sugar.” Kyle says smiling. “We aren’t quite ready yet, your sister and the baby should be ready soon.” He shoves a few more things into his backpack and whispers to Noah, “Don’t rush on the kids part.”

Jolly chuckles, “Noah… kids, yeah right.”

“Hey, I think we’ll meet you there,” you say to Kyle, trying to keep your voice steady.

���She should just be another minute or so,” he responds, glancing at his watch.

“It’s fine!” you say, suddenly feeling the weight of the stress on your shoulders. “I know where we’re going. I’ve literally been going there since I was a toddler…” You pause, taking a deep breath. “Let’s go.”

Kyle nods softly, understandingly. “Alright.” He gently places a hand on your shoulder as you walk past, a reassuring touch that momentarily eases your anxiety. You nod, thanking him, but the knot in your stomach tightens.

As you head towards the car, you can’t help but think about the impending gathering. This wasn’t going to be a pleasant event. Your brothers, your mother, and your sister all in one room? The thought alone makes your heart race. Noah and Jolly would fully understand why you stopped visiting once this event was over.

You shut the driver’s side door with a heavy thud, the sound echoing your apprehension. Placing the keys in the ignition, the car roars to life, and loud music blares from the speakers, causing Noah to flinch. He quickly reaches for the volume button, turning it down.

“What was that?” he asks, hopping into the passenger seat, followed by Jolly sliding into the back.

“Yeah, you little weirdo,” Jolly teases, trying to lighten the mood.

You let out a deep breath, the weight of the upcoming encounter pressing down on you as you pull out of the driveway. “It was nothing,” you lie, your voice strained.

“Bullshit,” Jolly chuckles, but there’s a note of concern in his laughter. “You’re not fooling anyone, you know.”

“I know I’m learning new things about you, but I know when you lie,” Noah says, smiling, though his eyes are filled with worry.

“I love that you guys are excited, but I’m not. I don’t like this at all. Being with my family does not bring out the good in me.” You pause, gripping the steering wheel tightly, your knuckles turning white. “Either everyone is going to fake nice this shit, or all hell is going to break loose.” You stop at a red light, glancing at Noah, then back at the road. “This will be a shit-on-me fest. You’ll know things I never wanted to tell. Like when I was into drugs or using alcohol constantly… all the shitty, abusive boyfriends I’ve had… how I lied, stole, and cheated life.” You take a deep breath, trying to hold back tears. “This isn’t fun for me. This is why I didn’t want to come here.”

Jolly places a hand on your shoulder and you cringe under his touch. “You aren’t that girl anymore.” He gently reminds you.

Noah nods, “Yeah fuck em.” He says lightening the mood. “I’m sure their lives aren’t perfect either.”

As you drive, the familiar streets pass by, each one bringing back memories—some good, some you’d rather forget. The closer you get to your destination, the tighter the knot in your stomach becomes. You glance at Noah and Jolly, their presence a small comfort in the face of what’s to come.

“It’s gonna be ok.” Noah assures you.

You force a halfhearted smile as you pull into the parking lot, the weight of the moment pressing down on you. After parking, you turn off the engine and stare at the imposing building ahead. “Ready?” you ask the boys, your voice barely above a whisper.

Stepping out of the car, you wait for them to catch up. As you head towards the door, you’re slightly taken aback when Noah intertwined his fingers with yours. “What?” he asks, noticing your puzzled expression. “Aren’t we supposed to hold hands six months into our relationship?” he teases, a playful glint in his eyes. “I told you, I’m going to be the best fake boyfriend I can be.”

Jolly chuckles, holding the door open and motioning for the two of you to enter. “I can already feel your brothers’ hate,” he jokes, his laughter echoing in the air.

You playfully roll your eyes as you stride into the restaurant, the familiar buzz of chatter and clinking glasses filling the air. The aroma of freshly baked pizza and the hum of conversations create a comforting backdrop. From afar, you spot your family, beers already lined up on the table in front of them.

You wave as you approach, and everyone stands for hugs and introductions. For a moment, you love how normal this all seems. Your older brother steps forward with a confident grin. “Josh, you must be Noah!” he says, extending a hand. You notice the firm handshake but also the genuine smile on his lips.

“Yeah, man. I’ve heard all about you guys. Nice to finally put names to the faces,” Noah replies, pulling out a chair and gesturing for you to sit.

You smile as you take the seat, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement. Noah sits next to you, casually draping an arm around the back of your chair, while Jolly takes the seat on your other side, already reminiscing about old times. You can almost see the wheels turning in Josh’s head, wondering what kind of chaos will ensue once your sister and older brother start interacting.

“This one looks hella normal. Are you ill?” your little brother, Benjamin, asks with a mischievous grin.

“Normal? That’s a first,” Josh quips, raising an eyebrow. “I was starting to think you only dated weirdos.”

Noah chuckles, a slight blush creeping up his cheeks. He nuzzles into your neck playfully and plants a kiss on your cheek. “Did you hear that, babe? They think I’m normal,” he teases, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

Benjamin laughs, shaking his head. “Well, good luck and welcome to the family, Noah.”

Your mother, sitting at the far end of the table, raises her glass. “To new faces and old memories,” she toasts, her voice carrying a hint of nostalgia.

The conversation flows, filled with laughter and light-hearted banter. For a brief moment, you forget about the underlying tensions and just enjoy the company of your loved ones.

“Just wait until mom brings out the baby photos.” Josh says to Noah.

“Oh, great,” Noah laughs. “I can’t wait to see those.”

“Just make sure mom doesn’t show him the one where you tried to give the cat a bath,” Benjamin chimes in, grinning wickedly.

“Or the one where you thought wearing a tutu rollerblading was a good idea,” Josh adds, smirking.

“Okay, okay, enough with the embarrassing stories,” you say, laughing. “Before you scare him off.”

“Too late,” Noah jokes, squeezing your hand. “I’m already in too deep.”

Moments later, the door creaks open again, revealing your sister, her husband Kyle, and their two kids. They join the table, and Noah’s hand finds its way to your back, rubbing soothing circles. “Beers?” Kyle asks, pointing to you and the boys.

“I’m good with water,” Noah says, and you nod in agreement.

“Me too!” Jolly adds enthusiastically.

Kyle nods, “Three waters. One beer, one cider, and momma, are you good with your beer?”

Your mother nods, her eyes lingering on you. “No fun? Not even one beer?” she teases, a playful glint in her eye.

Before you can respond, your sister cuts in, “No, because then it turns into 2, 5, 10… blackout,” she says with a laugh that sounds lighthearted but carries a sharp edge, a reminder of your past.

You shake your head, feeling the familiar sting of judgment. “Here we go,” you mutter, leaning your head on Noah’s shoulder, seeking comfort in his warmth.

Noah rubs your shoulder, his touch gentle and reassuring. He kisses the top of your head. “I’m here,” he whispers softly, his voice a soothing balm against the rising tension.

“Oh god. We had to stop taking her to bars with us. She would just get so messed up and always end up with one of her trashy exes,” Josh says, taking a sip of his beer, his words cutting through the air like a knife.

Jolly glances nervously from your mom to your sister, clearly debating whether he should try to change the subject. But before he can say anything, you sit up straight, your eyes blazing with defiance.

“At least I can admit I have a problem…” you say, your voice steady and challenging. “Wild how all of you do the same thing, but I’m the one who gets shit on for it. At least I’m trying?” You shake your head, the frustration and hurt evident in your expression.

Noah’s hand moves to your back again, his touch grounding you. “Don’t let them get to you,” he whispers softly, his voice a soothing balm against the rising tension.

Josh, never one to miss an opportunity to stir the pot, points at Noah. “So, are you an alcoholic too?” he asks, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

“For fuck’s sake,” Ben mutters, propping his head on his elbows up on the table and leaning his head on his hands. “We haven’t even eaten yet. Can’t this wait until after?”

You’re listening to Ben’s words, but your cold stare still rests on Josh. His blue eyes are ice cold as he clinks his drink to your sister’s, and they giggle.

“C’mon. It’s just a joke,” Josh says, but you know it’s not a joke; it’s just another jab. “It’s all out of love.”

“That’s not love,” Noah mumbles under his breath, his hand still a comforting presence on your back.

Your mother, who has been silently observing, finally speaks up. “Enough. This isn’t the time or place for this,” she says, her voice firm but weary.

Josh rolls his eyes but doesn’t push further. The tension at the table is palpable, and you can feel the weight of everyone’s eyes on you. You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself.

Noah’s hand moves from your back to your hand, squeezing it gently. “Let’s just get through this,” he whispers, his eyes filled with concern and determination.

You nod, appreciating his support. The rest of the meal continues in strained silence, with occasional forced attempts at conversation. You can’t help but feel a mix of anger and sadness, but Noah’s presence beside you keeps you grounded.

As the evening drags on, you find yourself glancing at the clock, counting down the minutes until you can leave.

You feel icy blue eyes land on you again and you’ve noticed the more Josh drinks the more vicious he gets, “You know it makes sense that you’re dating him.” He says pointing to Noah, “He probably has all the conncetions to drug dealers, plus he’s loaded with money.” He smirks and goes back to eating his food like nothing happened.

Your mouth drops. You feel your chest tighten. “I wanna go,” you whisper to Noah. “I can’t do this.”

Noah’s eyes meet yours, filled with understanding and a hint of frustration. He nods slightly, his jaw tightening as he processes your words. You stand up without warning, looking around the table. This isn’t where you wanted to be, and this isn’t where you needed to be. These people weren’t your family; they were simply related to you.

Noah stands up next to you, his presence a comforting shield, and Jolly does the same. “We’re leaving.”

“Oh, here we go,” your mother chimes in. “You can’t let us have one dinner.”

Noah scoffs at the comment, his hand placed on your back as he pushes you forward, trying to ignore the comments. “You guys started this shit and want her to stay? Why, to be a punching bag? So you guys have someone to point the finger at to make yourselves feel better?” His voice is steady but laced with anger, his protective nature coming to the forefront. “It’s really not shocking why she never talk about you guys or why she doesn’t visit.” He pauses, his eyes roaming the group of people who look surprised by his words. “She doesn’t need you guys…she has us and other friends in California that treat her a million times better.”

You grab Noah’s hand, feeling the warmth and strength in his grip, and follow behind Jolly. “Let’s go, it’s not worth it,” you quietly say.

When you exit out the doors, you feel the fresh air hit you, a stark contrast to the stifling atmosphere inside. Two men are staring at you, waiting for you to crack, but instead, you laugh, not believing what just happened.

“You see why I don’t come back? It’s the same shit every time,” you say, shaking your head, frustration boiling over. “I walk in, and it’s like I’m instantly transported back to being that screw-up they all remember. No matter what I do, it’s never enough.”

Jolly nods, not wanting to add fuel to the fire. “He was harsh,” he softly speaks, his eyes filled with concern.

You shake your head, your voice rising with emotion. “I get why he’s mad. I do. I wasn’t great, and he had to bail me out of shitty situations often. I just kept jumping into it again, time after time—rehab, hospitals, all of it, over and over. But I’m not like that anymore! I’ve changed, and I wish they would look at who I am now. But it’s like all they can see is who I used to be, and it’s suffocating.”

Noah looks at you, his expression softening. “You don’t have to prove anything to them, and they shouldn’t be that way toward you anyway. We’ve got your back, right?” He turns to Jolly.

Jolly nods in agreement. “Right.” He follows you toward the car, his steps light and carefree. “Hey… didn’t you grow up around here? Thrift shop and coffee time? Isn’t that on your list of things to do in every town?”

You laugh at his comment, remembering your pact. “You know the way to my heart.”

“I’m driving,” he declares, snatching the keys from your hand and pushing his sunglasses back on his face.

As Jolly skips goofily to the car, you feel Noah grab your hand, pulling you back for a brief moment. He places his hand under your chin, gently forcing you to look at him. His eyes lovingly stare into yours, causing a flutter of nervousness in your stomach. “I just want you to know… everything I said is true. Fake boyfriend, best friend… whatever. I got you. Always,” he says softly, his voice filled with sincerity.

You swallow hard, feeling a lump in your throat. “I know, Noah. Thank you.”

He smiles, a warm, genuine smile that makes your heart skip a beat. “Come on, let’s catch up with Jolly before he drives off without us.”

You follow him to the car, your mind racing. The thought that keeps replaying in your mind is terrifying. You weren’t growing feelings for Noah. Were you? The idea made you feel ridiculous. This was obviously your brain trying to get over Michael and move on as fast as you could. It was protecting it’s self from feeling any pain and Noah just happened to be there.

As you slide into the car, you steal a glance at Noah, who’s chatting animatedly with Jolly. Your heart aches with the weight of your unspoken emotions. You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. This was just a phase, a fleeting moment of confusion. It had to be. You couldn’t let it be anything more.

[countrymusiclover]

10 - Switching Coopers

part 11

It's About Time

Tags just ask - @lover-of-books-and-tea @bvbwestfall @bubble-blu @liesanddreams @bethanymccauley @skeletonontheroad

“I’ll pick you two up from here in an hour.” My mom said to me and Missy get out of her car. I had started hanging out with her more since I couldn’t stand to be around Georige since he was dating someone else. From what Mrlowe and I could tell our plan was somewhat working. Jana would give me mean looks in the hallway.

I held open the door for Missy and she skipped into the sporting goods store. “So why are we here? Ohh do you want me to throw a baseball at him?”

“We talked about that already. It’s still no.” I sent her a half glare and the smirk dropped from her face. 

Someone came around the corner and stands at the front glass case with the cash register seeing us looking around the sports store. “Can I help you find something?” The man was almost bald with grey hair wearing a green shirt and blue jeans with boots. 

“I was just promised ice cream when her mom picks us up.” Missy shrugged her shoulders. 

I stepped forward leaning my elbows on the counter top. “Mr. Ballard, I was hoping to see if I could get an after school job here. If you’re hiring of course.” 

“I actually am. I’ll give you an application to fill out and bring back to me. The sooner I get it back the sooner I can get you started here, uh..”

“Y/n, Y/n L/n.” I introduced myself where he stuck his hand out shaking mine. 

He nodded heading to the backroom coming back with the paperwork before we heard my moms horn honk from outside. “Dale Ballard. Hope to see you on Monday.” 

Exiting the sporting store we got back in my moms truck and she drove us back to her house. Missy and I went into her and Sheldon’s room so she could grab her baseball glove. “Are you sure I can’t throw a ball at my brother for you?” 

“Missy!” I scolded her. 

She shrugged her shoulders, tossing me a ball so I could throw some hits at her. “I’m just saying it might work.”

“I already have my plan in motion.” I raised my hand back, throwing it at her. 

She caught the baseball in her glove. “Okay.” 

The front door opened where I dare to turn my head and see Georgie walking out with his car keys in his hands until he paused in his steps. “What are you two doing out here?” 

“Just baseball.” I answered him clutching the glove I was wearing. “What are you doing?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Gonna go hang out with Jana.”

“Oh! That’s great.” I bared my teeth hearing that name. 

He nodded, tossing his keys from one hand to the other for a few seconds before he saw me not saying anything more. “Well I’ll uh see you around.” 

“Yeah see ya, Cooper.” I clicked my tongue and he got in his car driving off while I kicked the grass with my shoes.

Missy called my attention back to her. “Y/n, why can’t you just hang out with my brother like you used to?” 

“It’s kind of hard to explain except this way. Being a grown up sucks. So enjoy the years of being a kid.” I said back to her with a gentle smile thinking back on when things were easier between me and her older brother. 

Georgie and I were watching Ducktales on the tv in the living room laying on the couch. Missy came in from the kitchen with a red notebook in her right hand. “Can you two help me with my homework?”

“You’re asking me. I don’t understand my own homework.” Georgie asked her muting the tv with the remote. 

Missy admitted. “Yeah but you’re all I got.” 

“What kind of homework is it, Missy?” I asked the young girl. 

She held up the book away from her chest. “Grammar.”

“I ain’t great with grammar.”

I shifted sitting up on the couch giving my best friend a sympathetic look to help his sister. “Georgie, come on. At least give it a shot.” 

“Grammar is just talkin’ and we talk good.” Missy sat down on the other side of her brother so the three of us were sitting upright on the couch before she handed him the book. “There’s a list of sentences and you’re supposed to say if each one’s a complete sentence or not.” 

Georgie eyed the book, shutting it after reading the pages for a few seconds. “I don’t think I can help you.” He hands it back to his sister. 

Missy started walking back to the kitchen but turned around with a frown. “Do you think we’re stupid?” 

“Sheldon’s in high school at nine years old and we can’t figure out your homework. What do you think?” Georgie sighed heavily unmuting the tv until I snatched the remote from his hand. “Y/n!”

I sent him a glare keeping the remote away from his grasp. “Try and help her. Then you'll get this hack.”

“Sometimes I tell myself I only look stupid because he’s so smart.” Missy responded to her brother where he finally answered her. 

“Give me the book.” She sat down handing it to him. “So the first one on your homework is most people in the country.” 

“I don’t see an action word. Georgie , I don’t think this is a sentence.” Missy paused reading over it. 

He hands her the pencil and her book. “Put a verb in there, girl.” 

The next day Georgie and I were laying on his bed playing Uno until a piece of paper slipped underneath his shut bedroom door. He got up from the bed unfolding the paper where I asked him, seeing him grinning ear to ear. “What does it say?”

He turned it around to show me that the paper read 100% written in red marker with a smiley face. “That’s amazing, bestie!” 

“Did you cry when you saw it?” Missy’s voice came from the other side of the door. 

Georgie grumbled back. “No. Cause it ain’t that big a deal.” 

“Shut up. It is such a big deal.” I jumped up from my seat on the bed. 

My best friend noticed it was me and smiled with a grin directly back at me. “Hi Y/n. Looks like we'll be working together.” 

Georgie whispered under his breath. “Be quiet, Y/n.” He went over using one of his pins to pin it on his board on his wall. 

“Did you hang it on your wall?” Missy piped in again. 

Georgie snapped at her. “Get out of here!”

“I’m telling people you cried.” Missy teased him and I heard her shoes hitting the floor as she walked to her bedroom.

I clasped my hands over my mouth trying to contain my laughter causing Georgie to come walking over to me. “Come here you little tease.” 

“Ah no.” I screamed crawling off the bed but he managed to grab one of my ankles holding me on the bed.

Georgie grinned down at me with me underneath his body. “You ain’t going anywhere now.”

“Georgie!” I squealed when he moved his hands over my body to the spots where I was ticklish and I started giggling at the top of my lungs. 

He chuckled, raising his hands over my stomach letting me catch my breath. “Have you quit making this a big deal?”

“Yes - for now.” I grabbed his right arm and flipped him onto his back where I was on top of him now. He stared up at me for a few minutes, shocked that I had just done that to him. 

“You better not tell anyone this just happened.”

I chuckled climbing off of him and he sat up on the bed next to me. “Don’t worry, Cooper. Scar code.”

“Scar code.” He bumped his scar with mine and we both grinned back at the other. 

The front door to Mr. Ballard’s store opened where he was reading over the application I had filled out for him. He held out his hand and we shook on it before he turned to see we had a new customer. “Everything looks good here. Welcome to the sports salman's department. Oh I’ll help this person out.” 

“Excuse me. Are you Mr. Ballard?” I stand behind the counter hearing a familiar voice. 

Ballard answered. “That’d be me.”

“I’m Georgie. Connie Tucker’s grandson.” 

Ballard eyed his hair. “Oh yeah the hair. Very pretty.”

“I was wondering if I could maybe apply for a job here.” 

I bolted around the glass countertop and into the back room for the employees. Slamming the door behind me I put my hands against the door screaming lightly under my breath. “Ahhh! You’ve got to be kidding me.” 

“I actually just hired a girl that looks to be your age. You two could tag team working the store for me.” Ballard explains where I cracked the door open deciding that I had to face him. 

Georgie asked before I came around the corner very slowly. “Oh cool. What’s her name?” 

“Hey Georgie.” I nervously waved at him. 

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[fanfictionalraven]

Piece by Piece Pt. 4

Title: Piece By Piece Pt. 4

Summary: Dean struggles with his looming decision.

Characters: Reader, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, original characters

Word Count: 3,288

Warnings: N/A

Author’s Note: This story was originally posted by myself under the account Winchestersgirl92. It was published in 2017.

Read Piece by Piece Pt. 3 here.

You finally manage to pull yourself up from the front porch steps and go back into the house. It was an absolute mess and you needed something to do. So you set about fixing your home. You set the shredded couch cushions aside, deciding to try and repair them later. You turn the coffee table right side up and return the magazines and flowers to their original spot. You struggle to pull the knife out of the wall and it finally budges, letting the bloodstained note fall to the ground. Crumpling it up quickly, you throw it away before dropping the knife in the sink. You’re in the process of scrubbing the blood off the wall when your phone rings. Dean. You close your eyes and put the phone to your ear.

“Hello?” You ask quietly.

“Hey, we’ve got them,” Dean answers from the other end of the line. You let out a breath and throw your hand over your mouth quickly.

“Are they okay?” You ask.

“They’re both fine. Tina’s unconscious so we’re gonna take her to the hospital,” he tells you. You nod, tossing the rag you’d been working with aside.

“Okay. I’m coming too,” you tell him, rushing to pick up your purse.

“We’ll meet you there,” Dean says before hanging up. You drop your phone into your purse before running out to your car. You fight tears as you fumble with your key, trying to stick it in the ignition. You stop and lay your head against the steering wheel, allowing yourself a minute to cry. M.K. was safe. Tina was safe. The monster no longer had them. Dean and Sam did and they were safe. You look over at the birthday cake still sitting in the passenger seat and smile a little. She’d get to have her birthday cake after all.

Once you’ve calmed yourself down, you’re finally able to get the car started. The drive to the hospital feels longer than it ever has despite there being little traffic on the road. Once you finally make it to the hospital, you park your car next to the Impala and, before going inside, you call Tina’s mom. It’s a difficult conversation to have. She’s your best friend and you hate lying to her, but you know you can’t tell her the whole truth. So you give her half-truths instead. She was taken by the killer but the F.B.I had found them. She lets you go, making her own way to the hospital now.

You rush into the emergency entrance and find Sam in the waiting room. A surge of panic rushes through you at the sight of him by himself. He stands when he sees you making your way over to him. He smiles, reassuringly, and places his hands on your shoulders, recognizing the look on your face.

“M.K.’s fine. Dean asked them to check her out too just to be sure and she didn’t want to go back by herself,” he explains. You sigh and nod before throwing your arms around him in a tight hug.

“Thank you so much, Sam. I don’t know how I can ever repay you,” you tell him. He lets out a laugh, returning the hug.

“She’s my niece, Y/N. You don’t have to repay me,” he says. You nod, looking up at him.

“Well, still. Why don’t you and Dean stay the night with us? A nice comfy bed, instead of the cheap motel I’m sure you’re planning to stay at. We’ve got birthday cake and I’m sure M.K. would love having you both there,” you say, trying to persuade him. He laughs again and nods.

“You had me at comfy bed,” he says. You smile then bite your lip.

“Will Dean go for it?” You ask. Sam smirks slightly and shrugs.

“Just have M.K. pout at him and he’ll melt,” he says. You raise an eyebrow but before you can question him…

“Momma!!” You hear M.K. call, joyously. You turn on your heels just as Dean steps through the door with her on his hip. She’s clutching a bear you’ve never seen before in one arm, the other wrapped tight around Dean’s neck. It was a sight you’d only ever dreamed of seeing. Father and daughter together at last. He sets her down and you nearly fall to your knees, holding your arms open for her. She bounds into your arms and wraps her own around you tight. You hold onto her, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Momma, you’re crushing me,” she laughs.

“I’m sorry, Baby Girl,” you say, letting her go. “What’s this?” You ask, pulling at the bear’s hat slightly. M.K. smiles widely and looks back at Dean. He smiles and sticks his hands in his pockets, looking down at the floor. “I see.”

“Well, Dean,” Sam starts. The older Winchester looks up at his brother. “Y/N has graciously offered to let us stay with them tonight.” Dean’s eyes widen slightly and M.K. spins around on him quickly.

“Please!! We can have birthday cake!! It would be the best birthday ever if you came over!!” She says, bouncing slightly. You watch in amazement as his resolve melts away instantly before he nods.

“Yea, sounds good. I love birthday cake,” he says with a wink. M.K. squeals and runs over, wrapping her arms around his legs again. You look up at Sam and he nods.

“Told ya,” he mouths. You bite back a laugh before rising to your feet. “How about – M.K. and I go back to the motel and pick up our stuff?”

“Okay!!” She says, looking back at Sam. You turn to Sam, pulling your wallet out.

“I know I’m starving and I’m sure everyone else is. Why don’t you pick up something to eat too?” You suggest, handing him some cash. He takes it and nods, before holding a hand out for M.K.

“Sounds like a plan. What should we get, Birthday Girl?” He asks. She runs to him, clasping his large hand with her tiny one.

“Bacon cheeseburgers!!” She says. Sam snorts and looks at Dean as they start to leave the waiting room.

“Who knew a love of cholesterol was genetic?” He asks. Dean rolls his eyes and tosses the Impala’s keys to Sam quickly. You watch Sam and M.K. leave and shake your head slightly. They both already loved and adored her more than you could have ever imagined possible.

“You okay?” Dean asks, pulling you from your thoughts. You smile at him and nod.

“I’m good. You know you didn’t have to get her anything,” you tell him, sitting in one of the chairs. He shrugs, falling into the one next to you.

“Didn’t feel right showing up empty handed tonight,” he says. You look at him and smile.

“So you were still planning on coming to dinner?” You ask him. He sighs and runs a hand over his jaw. Your smile falls slightly. “You’d changed your mind.”

“No,” he says quickly. “No, I didn’t change my mind. I was just starting to panic when you called. Look, Y/N, I don’t know the first thing about being a dad. And she’s got these huge expectations,” he starts. You reach over, placing your hand on his.

“Dean, it’s okay. I get that this is a lot to take in in one day. I really do,” you tell him. He nods and you bite your lip, watching him. He turns his hand over, interlocking your fingers.

“I’ve got so many questions and no idea where to start,” he admits. You let out a laugh and nod slightly. “What are we waiting for?”  He asks, looking up at you.

“Tina’s mom, Lily. She’s my best friend. I can’t just leave her daughter here alone,” you say. He nods and looks around the waiting room. There’s a long silence as Dean appears to be sorting his thoughts. His thumb rubs absentmindedly across the back of your hand.

“Did they know you were pregnant?” He finally asks. You shake your head, looking at your hand in his.

“No. I found out about a month before I graduated. I didn’t know what they would do if they found out so I kept it to myself. Met with my social worker after graduation and she tried to get me to give her up. Do exactly what my mother did. Told me it would be too hard to have a baby and go to school. We’d both be better off,” you tell him. He looks at you quickly and you shrug.

“Did you ever think about it?” He asks. You smile and shake your head.

“Never,” you pause and let out a laugh. “And it was really, freaking hard. I gave birth in the middle of my first semester of school and I was just about to flunk out when I met Lily. She started keeping M.K. for me and helped me study. She was a lifesaver.”

“You shouldn’t have had to go through that alone. If I had known, I swear, Y/N,” he says, shaking his head.

“I know, Dean,” you say softly. He looks at you and you’re surprised to find a sadness in his eyes. You reach up, placing your other hand against his cheek. He smiles a little when you do.

“Why didn’t you find someone else?” He asks. You smile at that.

“It’s not exactly easy for a single mother to get a date. I can’t just go out to have fun. I don’t even want to, really. And I’m not just looking for someone for me. He has to be right for M.K. too,” you tell him. “There have been a couple of men over the past few years. Good men that I thought would turn into something but they never did for different reasons.” He watches your face for a moment, as though he’s struggling to say something. He looks over at an empty chair as you watch him.

“You name her after Mom?” He asks.

“I did. I thought about giving her your last name but decided it would be easier logistically for her to have mine instead. But I did want her to have some part of you. I tossed around the idea of Deanna but I liked Mary better,” you tell him. He smiles and nods, a distant look in his eyes.

“She would have liked that,” he says. You smile and squeeze his hand, drawing his attention back to you. “I like it. It fits her.” He brings your hand up and kisses the back of it lightly.

“Y/N!!” A voice calls from the door of the waiting room. You look up quickly and find your best friend, rushing towards you frantically. You and Dean both rise, his hand dropping yours before you pull Lily into a hug.

“I’m so sorry Lily. This is all my fault,” you tell her. She returns the embrace, shaking her head.

“Of course it isn’t!!” She says. She pushes you back by your shoulders. “How is she?” She asks. You look back at Dean and he smiles.

“She’s fine. She was unconscious when we brought her in but last I heard she’s doing fine,” he tells her, reassuringly.

“Are you the one that saved her?” She asks. Dean cuts his eyes at you briefly then nods, holding his hand out.

“Dean Winchester,” he says. Your eyes widen slightly. You hadn’t expected him to be honest about who he was. You’d expected the fake F.B.I. badge to come out and some old rock star’s name. Lily stares at him.

“Wait. Y/N’s Dean?” She asks, looking at you quickly. You blush at that and Dean chuckles.

“Guess you could say that,” he says. Lily bypasses his still outstretched hand and throws her arms around him. His eyes widen before he slowly returns the hug.

“Thank you so much, Dean!!” She says. He laughs lightly and shrugs as she lets go of him. She looks over his face for a moment before turning back to you. “You were right. He is gorgeous.”

“Lily!!” You gasp, your face heating up instantly. You catch Dean smirk slightly as he looks down at the ground.

“And M.K. does have his eyes,” she says. You shake your head and loop your arm through hers quickly.

“Dean, we’re gonna go find a nurse and figure out where Tina is,” you tell him. He looks up at you, still smiling, and nods.

“I’ll go wait at the car,” he says. You nod and fish your keys from your purse before handing them to him.

“It was nice to meet you,” Lily calls to him as you drag her from the waiting room. You stop at the nurse’s station and they give you Tina’s room number. You start to go down the hall when Lily pulls you back, stopping you. “Tee’s fine. Get out of here.”

“What?” You ask, frowning. She rolls her eyes at you.

“You’ve been waiting nearly 11 years for that man to come back into your life. And the fact that he’s here now, it’s like destiny or something. So go!!” She says, pushing you towards the entrance. You laugh and turn, hugging her quickly.

“Give Tina my love,” you tell her. She nods and hugs you back before pushing you towards the door again. You smile and walk outside into the cool night air. Dean’s leaning against the passenger side door. He stands up when he sees you coming over and pulls the door open. You stop in your tracks and he laughs.

“What kind of gentleman would I be if I made you drive?” He asks. You smile and shake your head.

“You don’t even know where you’re going,” you tell him, crossing your arms. He rolls his eyes.

“I’m real good at following directions,” he says. You let out a laugh then slide into the passenger side of your car, moving the cake to your lap. Dean closes the door before running around to the driver’s side.

The drive back to the house is relatively quiet. You give Dean turn by turn directions and he pulls into your driveway not long later. You both get out, you picking the cake up to finally take inside. He looks over the house appreciatively as you lead the way to the front door.

“This is nice,” he says. You smile and glance at him.

“Thanks. It’s the gold key with pink nail polish on it,” you tell him. He nods and looks at the keys still in his hand. He unlocks the door and pushes it open, allowing you to walk inside first. You hear him close the door as you walk into the kitchen, turning the lights on as you go. You set the cake on the counter then turn to the sink to wash the dishes that have been waiting since last night. “Sam said you had them check M.K. out too,” you call to him.

“Yea, wasn’t entirely sure I could take a ten-year old’s word on if she was actually hurt or not,” he says, walking into the kitchen. You laugh lightly and nod as he leans against the counter opposite you. “Better safe than sorry, right?” You nod, glancing over your shoulder at him. “She was right, naturally. Which she so delicately reminded me of before we found you.”

“Sounds like her,” you say. You run the sponge over a plate slowly and watch the suds slip around. “You didn’t have to tell Lily who you were, you know.”

“Well, I figured she’d get suspicious of some F.B.I. agent hanging around all the time,” he says. The plate slips from your grasp and hits the metal sink hard, breaking in half. You reach in to grab the pieces quickly.

“Ahhh,” you gasp, pulling your now bloody hand from the water. You’d managed to cut your palm on the knife you’d forgotten was in there too. Dean’s at your side instantly, wrapping a towel around your hand. “There’s a first aid kit under the sink,” you tell him with a sigh. He nods and you move out of the way, letting him get the kit out. He sets it on the counter then lifts you up onto it as well with ease. You watch as he works on your hand, holding it over the sink to keep the blood from getting on your countertops.

“Shouldn’t need stitches. It isn’t too deep,” he says, placing some gauze over it. He starts to wrap it up and you let out a laugh.

“You’re better at this than me and I’ve been medically trained,” you tell him. He smiles and shrugs. You bite your lip as you watch him. “You know, I’m not expecting anything from you.”

“What do you mean?” He asks, glancing at you as he cuts the bandage off and tucks the edge into the wrapping.

“You said that you introduced yourself to Lily because you’d be around all the time. I don’t expect that of you. I’m not asking that. I’m not asking you to marry me or move in or pay child support or anything,” you tell him. He laughs lightly, cleaning up the first aid supplies.

“I know you’re not,” he says. He returns the kit to its place under the sink before moving to stand between your knees. “Do you want me around?”

“Of course I do. But I’m not stupid. I remember the things you said about the life you live. And I know that what we had was just one night. I’d be certifiable if I thought you would just show up at my door and stay and we’d live happily ever after. That’s insane. But that’s not to say that our one night wasn’t special. I mean, I think we have a connection that we could possibly, maybe build a relationship on some day with some work but –,” Dean’s hand comes over your mouth, stopping you mid-rant.

“Will you shut up for half a second?” He asks, smiling. You nod and bite your lip as he uncovers your mouth. His hand drops to your waist where his fingers rub slowly. “I went back to find you. It was a few years later. Sam and Dad had this huge fight. Sam left to go to college and I thought if he could have what he wanted, why couldn’t I? But you were gone and no one knew where you were or what happened to you. So, I went back to Dad and kept hunting.” You slide closer to him, moving your arms to wrap around his neck. “You’ve always meant more to me than just some one night stand. That being said though, I don’t know if I can do normal.”

“I understand,” you tell him. He sighs and leans in, resting his forehead against yours.

“I feel like a freakin’ seesaw. I want to be around. I want to be there for M.K. And I sure as hell don’t want you with anyone else. But I don’t know if I can stay and that isn’t fair to you two. And coming and going feels worse,” he admits. You can hear a car pulling into the driveway and cutting off. Sam and M.K. back with dinner. You lean in quickly and press your lips against Dean’s in a short, chaste kiss.

“Just think about it. I know what it’s like to have you for one night then spend the next 10 years wondering where you are,” you tell him. He nods slightly and takes a step back as the front door opens. You jump down from the counter just as M.K. comes running into the kitchen, the bear still in her arms.

Read Piece by Piece Pt. 5 here.

[sammysbrokenheart]

Perfect...

Summary: Iand if you're looking for someone to write your breakup songs about then Billie I'm perfect. (this is written in first person from your point of view)

Trigger warnings: grief, loss, alcoholism and depression.

~~~~~

The room was loud.

Everything was suddenly very overwhelming the more shots I drank. The alcohol drowned out the sound for a while, but suddenly everything came crashing back.

I ordered another drink and looked down at my black dress, these were my funeral clothes. A wave of guilt crashed over me, I mean who goes to drink after her mother and siblings funeral?

That was the night that I met her. Piercing blue eyes and black hair. I never intended on meeting one of the most famous people on earth that night. I never intended on buying her a drink, dancing with her or kissing her in her car at stop lights.

We stayed in touch and that became a routine for us that first week. She'd pick me up at midnight and we'd go for a drive. I would roll down the windows to feel the cool air hit my face. She would talk to me about everything. Her job, her brother, her best friend just everything.

Whenever we came to a stop I would kiss her. I wondered if she could taste the alcohol on my lips. If I'm being honest with you and myself, I don't remember being sober at all.

~~~~~

The next week she tried to see me multiple times. I realized at some point I had to go back to work otherwise I'll be behind on rent so that was a perfect excuse to not see her at all.

"I'm sorry Billie I'm busy."

"I'm sorry Bills I have a lot of work to catch up on maybe another day."

Whenever she would FaceTime me I could see her heart break whenever I gave whatever excuse to not see her.

On Saturday of that week I was throwing my same old pity party. My surroundings looked so messy and pathetic. Then suddenly there was a knock at my door. I thought it was my pizza so I didn't think twice when I opened the door.

Instead of a normal delivery person there stood Billie with my pizza with a hoodie and sunglasses.

She pushed past me and into my house. I could feel her scanning her surroundings, shame bubbled in my chest.

"I don't know why you're avoiding me, but this cold shoulder is going to stop now," she said while placing the pizza down on my couch.

For the first time in a week I was sober in her presence and I felt the true weight of her comfort. I broke right then and there in her arms.

" Shhh baby I got you talk to me Y/N. "

~~~~~

We never spoke, I never told her about the accident and about my mom and siblings dying on impact. I never told her that I was the one driving, I never told her that my father cut me off because he blames me for everything. I never told her any of that. We just had sex.

~~~~~

Being with her was amazing. I can't recall the last time I was happy like this. When I am with Billie I can pretend to be the girl I wish I was. She helped me clean up house, she never asked or pushed me for more information. We never argued until now.

"I want you to come with me Y/N," Billie persisted. She just told me about this big family dinner that was coming up and I declined.

"Billie... It's just too soon," I said turning to her.

She was already on her side looking at me. The outline of her body was distracting me from this very important conversation.

I need a drink.

"We've been together for what a month already? More than that I think now is about the right time," Billie said. Her eyes were pleading me to say yes and I could feel a pull in my chest. Alarm bells went off in my head and all I wanted was to bolt out of this hotel room.

"Billie, I just don't feel ready don't force me," I said getting up from bed.

"Wait Y/N I'm sorry, wait stop," she wrapped her arms around me. I wiggled out of her arms and quickly got dressed.

"Where are you going?" she said.

I turn around and place my phone in her hands, my silent promise that I'll come back.

"I just need some air..."

~~~~~

The fighting became frequent. Nothing that I did seemed to be good enough and no amount of sex could take away the problems that were unfolding.

"You never talk to me! I don't know anything about you do I!?"

That was the last thing she said to me before she left. I knew she wanted me to chase after her and I would've but I thought to myself that this was for the best. She didn't need my bullshit life or my trouble.

This is what she deserves, a life free from me. I could feel the loss of her presence. I never truly let her in. I wonder if things would've been different if I did let her in. If I told her about my hurt.

I went to sleep with a heavier heart than ever. The urge to drink wasn't there, but the urge to sleep was great right now.

~~~~~

A year went by after Billie and I broke up. Things were finally looking up and I am proud of myself. I started going to therapy and AA. Recently I got back behind a a steering wheel and I finally felt more in control of ny life.

I missed her, but she's doing amazing right now and I am so proud. Hit me hard and soft came out and I have been listening to it in bits and pieces througout my day.

With every song I felt a wave of anxiety. I am terrified. I knew it was coming I knew it was gonna be brutal.

After work i got into the car and connected my phone. The end of WILDFLOWER filled the car and I started to drive. My stomuch dropped. THE GREATEST was the song I was dreading.

It was beautiful and brutal.

I had to stop the car because I couldn't see through my tears. My sobs were drowned out by the song and when it ended I played it again and again.