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idontplaytrack · 22 hours ago

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im obsessed.

Try

Chapter two: We’re invincible, I just know it

Summary: Janis is slowly healing, and finding her way back to Regina.

(Janis has the inner monologue of a poet and the soul of a warrior.)

Notes: Comments are appreciated as always, will be posted on my AO3! The chapter name is from the song APPLE JUICE by Madilyn Mei

Janis raised her hand, rather eager to ask, “If love has an endless supply, why is hate all I see?”

Her youth leader paused, a frown creasing his lips and his eyes narrowing slightly at the young Janis, “Pardon? “There is hate everywhere, y’know? I hear people use the word ‘hate’ more than they use the word ‘love’, why?” She was curious. Quite curious, “And if God loves everyone why is there a hell?” “Uh, well,” He paused, then shook his head, “Don’t ask silly questions, we’re not supposed to question The Lord.” Janis never was given an answer to her question. It simply made no sense to her. God never had made sense to her.

Janis wasn’t allowed back at church after too many questions.

She didn’t mind though, she didn't want to remember the church bells or the music that played, telling her she needed to be happy…

Or the feeling that she must hide.

Janis stared down at her paint-splattered shoes, nervously picking at her cuticles.

There is a weight to silence. A fullness that fills the empty spaces between her thoughts. A stillness that hummed in her bones. Janis liked silence, she did.

She did not like this silence though.

Her, Damian, Cady, and The Plastics were all sitting together, dead silent at their table. This was odd because many of them were loud, which Janis had tried to adjust to but not quite. She had sensitive ears, which is. Unconventional considering the house she was raised in. We're all built by the same atoms, and yet somehow I'm not the same.

She’d never been the same and that seemed to be the issue.

Her foot tapped softly against the tile flooring, and she glanced up. Should she try and talk, or leave them in this uncomfortable silence?

Janis could be loud herself, but now words formed under her tongue. Oh, and how she hated how everything she was contradicted itself, she hated how she didn’t like the noise and yet she was so loud, or how she could love someone so fully but not even trust them with her palm, she was sure they’d cut it. She hated it.

Her brown eyes drifted to Regina who was picking at her food with a grossed-out look on her face and wondered If Janis could speak, would she even turn? Would her eyes soften at the weight of her voice?

She shook her head and looked back down. Someone speak.

She was begging at this point, her hands clasped softly together. Praying.

She flinched at the thought and unclasped her hands, blinking. It was a force of habit.

“So, y’all got any gossip?” Damian broke the silence, and Janis felt her body relax.

That certainly got people talking no doubt. Gretchen piped up immediately and sooner than later Janis felt a warmth creep into her chest as she watched… as she watched the people around her talk. Were they friends? Maybe. Maybe not.

All but Janis and Regina were speaking, the only reason she noticed Regina was because she felt the uncomfortable sensation of eyes burning into her skin, a feeling she should have become familiar with but simply couldn’t. She blinked as she made eye contact with Regina, unsure what to say.

Be friendly, Cady said to be friendly. She reminded herself.

Say something!

“Uh, why can’t some creatures sit on clouds?”

Regina blinked as though taken aback, then just stared at her like she was a puzzle she couldn’t quite figure out.

Finally, the blonde responded, “What?” “Uh, there are lizards that can walk on water, crustaceans with sonic weapons, fish that live on land. Why can't some creatures sit on clouds sometimes?” Janis said slowly. Deflect with humor.

Regina’s lips quirked at the corners, “I… don’t know.” Regina said slowly.

Janis shrugged, suddenly awkward. Why does she say such weird things? She has no idea how to talk to Regina, not anymore at least. She was scared to get to know her again.

But she’d try, right? She said she would, even if it felt impossible, nothing was. She could try and forgive her… There are rivers that run uphill, and dunes that look painted in color. Water can float into the sky, and ice can form without cold. A certain metal melts at room temperature, and rocks can grow like plants.

Everything is impossible until it happens. Until it's discovered. Until it's done.

The world is a wonderful, nonsensical, bizarre, contradictory, random, impossible place.

She could do this little thing.

Memories flashed behind her eyes as the blonde’s foot tapped her and she pulled it back quickly, looking down once more.

Not today, though.

With Regina, there is a calling. An inquisitive question echoed between the gaps of her fingers from each steady beat of Janis’s heart, ricocheting back and forth, left unanswered, and caught, never quite reaching and sinking into her skin.

Janis let out a soft breath, then tuned into the conversation, carefully angling her head away from Regina.

“Oh my god, I know! He is literally so frickin’ cute, Damian! I could set you up with him!” She heard Gretchen excitedly say while wiggling her eyebrows and audibly groaned.

Damian laughed, noticeably, “Ah, yes. You’re emotionally dead, right, Jan?” He joked, and Janis rolled her eyes. From where they’re standing it probably looked like she didn’t feel much at all but the truth is, she feels things on a spectrum of colors they couldn’t even begin to fathom.

“Oh, totally. Cold to the core.” Janis joked back, and he chuckled. They continued to talk and eventually, the bell rang. She collected her stuff, less anxious than she had once been.

As she packed up, she heard a soft voice ask, “Janis, can we…talk? Please?” All the anxiety returned. And she was always so surprised when it felt exactly the same hearing those words as it did the last time, that familiar dread that felt like a mouth full of blood after a punch to the nose. Those words were never good in her past, she could only hope they might be.

She looked up and her brown ords met Regina’s blue ones, and Janis had the slightest temptation to say no, to leave a biting remark. But she didn’t, she stopped herself. “Sure,” she responded, careful not to sound either too excited or the lead onto the enormous amount of dread she felt. Regina registered rather awkwardly for her to sit, she hesitated briefly then sat.

As she sat, she stimmed by wringing her wrist. It was all so… odd. Regina never spoke softly, but she had and when she did she thought she might’ve heard the flicker of her Regina, the old one.

She sat and gazed almost - but not quite - blankly at her. Waiting for the blonde to speak. “Janis, I think you deserve a real apology, because…” Regina trailed off, as if the words didn’t want to come out, like they were crawling their way back into her lungs, “Because, what happened, what I did, isn’t… it wasn’t fair. I hurt you, I hurt you in ways no one should ever be hurt, and I broke your trust. And- and I’m so sorry.” Janis stared. She had wanted an apology for oh-so long and now she had it. And it felt… underwhelming. Not that it hadn’t been sufficient enough, but it… did it truly make her feel better? It made her feel lighter, but it didn’t take away the trauma.

“Okay,” Janis whispered, looking down and processing the information. What should she do now? She had her apology… What could she even say? That she didn’t forgive her? That she wanted to but was scared she couldn’t? That the world has teeth and no mercy - that her forgiving one another could be a recipe for disaster? That she is beginning to learn that the world doesn’t care about your soft nature, your apologies, or your honest soul? That it will eat you alive, bones and all, without so much as a second thought? “I’m sorry too,” is what came out instead, and she glanced up, “I’m sorry for… all of it. I shouldn’t have made that plan let alone execute it, and I’m sorry you got hit by a bus.” She whispered, “And I’m trying…to forgive you. I think.” Regina nodded and blinked rabidly. Was she going to cry? Janis doubted it, but it wasn’t like the blonde couldn’t cry, she had held the blonde as salty tears drenched her shoulder and she had felt the blonde shake like a tree in the storm, begging to be beautiful when she was already the most beautiful girl she had ever set eyes on. “I’m so sorry, Janis. I’m so sorry,” Regina whispered, hushed and low, but Janis still could hear it echoing around the empty cafeteria despite that, “I will spend eternity making it up to you if I can.” Janis laughed at that, it just slipped out, but Regina laughed along, “Okay…” Janis laughed out. “Okay.” Regina echoed.

They sat across from each other in silence and it wasn’t till the curl of Janis’s lips fell back into a frown that she stood up, grabbed her bag, and turned to walk away but paused. “I really am trying,” Janis whispered, not turning to look at the blonde. “I know,” Regina whispered back. She knows. _

Memories. Oh, how Janis both loved and loathed her memories.

The problem with memories is that she wishes for the bad ones to vanish. While we hope and pray to never forget the good ones. In a way all of life is like this, we hope for the bad to vanish and the good to stay, but the problem is that not everyone has the same definition of “bad”.

Yet, without our bad times, and bad memories, we wouldn’t be the same people. Not at all. And Janis often wondered who she might be if she was handed a different deck of cards.

Another thing about memories is that she can visit them but can’t live in them. No matter how hard she might try, if she could go live in all her good memories, she would slowly start to see the bad in all of them as well. It's a harsh truth to accept. Like when she over-analyzes a look she receives or a text. You start to see the bad. Memory isn’t a unique thing to humans though it can seem like that at times. A dog could just be kicked and would run back to its owner, forgetting the incident ever happened. That could simply be a loyalty thing… She wished people could forgive that easily. She wished she could forgive that easily. But it wasn’t that simple, she often felt like a kicked dog but she had stopped crawling back the day she was outed. She realized that she really had been abandoned that day and had accepted it.

People and animals’ memories alike can be triggered by sensory, trauma, and emotions. Like when someone raises a hand at her, and she flinches away. Memories can be blamed for that.

How do you live with a father whose idea of love is beating you till you’re down and then leaving you to build yourself back up?

This was a question she had asked herself at the young age of nine, and the answer was; You don’t. If someone hurts you and continues to hurt you, you leave. That is what her mother had taught her and that is what she’d try and live by. So when Regina had promised to spend her time earning Janis’s forgiveness, she told herself that as long as she wasn’t hurt again she’d be alright.

She lay on the couch of her garage, feet up and staring. Thinking. And waiting for Damian to arrive. So far, Regina had kept her promise. She had been okay for the week, she didn’t make hardly any sly comments at all, and sitting with them at lunch wasn’t all that bad.

Perhaps she could even love her openly someday…

The thought passed her mind her breath caught in her throat.

She heard a knock on the door to the garage and stood. When she stood, she saw concrete and cathedral steps instead of what was really in front of her, and blinked rapidly till they left her vision and she stared down at the raggedy carpet.

It hit her like a slap, and she contemplated sitting down to process why even though she openly loved who she wanted and was proud of who she was, the guilt lingered and made her even more hesitant to love, and she was sure it was way more than the fact she might never get over the blonde…

She inhaled sharply, then marched towards the door and opened it, not forcing on a smile because as soon as she set eyes on her best friend she grinned.

Damian really was her platonic soulmate, she wasn’t sure what she’d do without him. “Hey, gaybo, why’d you knock?” She chuckled and let him in, which he strode in and plopped down on the couch. Every other Saturday they had a movie night, and this Saturday was no different.

She walked over to the couch and plopped down, reaching behind her to grab her laptop and open it. She and Damian argued over what new trashy movie to watch, per usual, and eventually, she gave it and allowed them to watch some new rom-com, grumbling over how ‘unrealistic and pointless’ they were.

They watched, Janis concluded that the lead lady was extremely gay and that she should run away with her best friend while Damian criticized the soundtrack, rightfully at that. The music chosen was horse shit. Then they decided they rather play a board game and fell asleep before they could even finish one round.

“Tag!”

A ten-year-old Janis giggled as she was chased through the park, stumbling as the blonde stumbled behind her. She could smell the worn, tattered brown edges of the wilting green summer leaves and the dusty, crumpled blades of grass that lay beneath them. Weaving through the familiar battered park trees.

She looked up to feel the warmth that showered her skin with the sweet light of the sun.

Stumbled.

Fell. She slid as she landed, her palms scraped, and bleeding. As well as her knees. She sat up and felt as though she was going to cry, she heard a gasp behind her and blinked a few times, tears rolling down her face.

“Oh no, Janis! Are you okay?” Regina kneeled beside her. Regina was the first friend she made since she and her mom moved in with her grandmother, away from her father, and they were already attached at the hip.

The shorter girl nodded, Janis wiped her tears, palms stinging from the tears rubbing into her cuts. She looked down at her palm and stared at the small bit of blood pooling from her palm, realizing she probably smeared some onto her face.

And she just stared at her palm. Blood. And it was just crazy because, from that moment on, she was not just a spirit or a human. She was also a body. With blood…

That didn’t last long because her gaze was ripped away as the blonde took and examined her palm. Then leaned forward and blew on it, her cool breath hitting it and soothing it surprisingly enough. Then her hand was flipped and Regina kissed it, “There, all better! Now let’s get you cleaned and some bandaids!” “I’m fine,” she sniffed and pulled her hand away, she didn’t want to cry, they were just some silly scrapes but she felt like screaming from how overwhelming the throbbing was. Regina pouted and hurriedly helped her up.

“Nope, c’mon, we’re going to Ms. Imi’ike, and you’re getting these cleaned ASAP!” Regina announced and practically dragged a sniffling brunette to her mother while she whined.

It was only after that she felt butterflies swarm in her chest, a soft awakening. I wonder what that’s about?

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idontplaytrack · 22 hours ago

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You could flip me inside out and they would show

Black, purple and green

Yeah, I bruise easily

npt!!! @ludoesartandstuff @cheesysoup-arlo

Ima just randomly make a trend on tumblr because I’m bored-

whatever is your last recent played song on Spotify(for those who have that), put the last lyric that is sung before the song ends

Mine:

I wanna watch the world burn!

Tags:

@blushyeleven

@karaaeilishhmain

@sillydizzybxtches

@dumbcrustyassbitch

(I’m tryna work with something, ok<3)

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idontplaytrack · 1 day ago

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lmao i hate being sad, and in pain. at the same time. like wow thanks, pms emotions aren’t enough? i gotta deal with cramps and back pain and feeling nauseous too🤣

and wdym i gotta deal with stupid people in the family who make things like 1000x harder for me—

#i don’t play track’s rambles #im losing it

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idontplaytrack · 1 day ago

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idontplaytrack · 1 day ago

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me!

#i don’t play track’s rambles

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idontplaytrack · 1 day ago

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All I want is…

Capri Donahue x fem! reader

Warnings: MDNI, smut. Capri takes reader’s virginity. Coarse language, fluff ending

“All I want is to be your girl”

“Darby, you’ve got to be kidding me.” You sighed.

“It’s a dare. And no, not kidding.”

“She’s terrifying.”

“No, she’s not.” Darby told you, “People are just scared of her because they put her on a pedestal, make her popular. But she’s not that different.”

“That’s easy for you to say.” You sulked.

“You need a date to the prom, right?” Alex chimed in.

“Yeah, so?” You scoffed, licking your lips.

“It’s at the end of the week. You don’t have a date…and she doesn’t have a date. Tell me that’s not meant to be.”

“I’m not meant to be talking to someone like her.” You glared at your best friends.

Darby raised a brow then squinted at you, “She won’t kill you. Just go for it, she’s queer.”

You exhaled harshly, folding your arms across your chest, “What makes you think that she would even consider going to the prom with me and be seen by everyone with me?”

“Here she comes.” Darby pushed you slightly forward. “Hey.” You glared at her. “Do it. Before you lose your chance.”

“What the hell do you mean, lose my chance?” You were getting annoyed and honestly just flounced up to her and asked Capri straightforwardly.

Capri’s locker creaked eerily as it shut, she looked at you, gaze not as scary as you thought it would be. She smiled at you, “Sure.”

“Why?” That came out quicker than you could process it.

“We both need a date to the prom, right?” She asked, seemingly biting back a smirk.

“Right.” You shrugged, swallowing thickly.

“See you later in Biology.” Capri flashed you another smile before she walked away to her class. It was gym class, you guessed. You didn’t even think that she knew you were in the same Bio class as she was, but apparently you were wrong.

The rest of the day went by as per usual. Until it was time for Biology, Capri who was usually too obsessed with James now had the time to say hi to you and even Darby. They broke up about half a year ago and kids in school were still talking about it, starting new rumours. It was annoying whenever someone asked you what you thought about whatever new theory they concocted up that week.

You shared a bench with Alex in Bio, Darby shared one with James. Capri was on the other side of the room, minding her own business talking to her friends. But, Alex kept staring at you like he was expecting you to spill some tea.

“Will you stop staring at me?” You said in a hushed voice.

“What’d she say?”

“Said yes. Why?” You answered calmly.

“So why are you saying she’s terrifying?” He said that a little too loudly and some girls seated at a certain bench were now staring at you. You felt their gaze. Well, shit. And now you were feeling uneasy again.

But still, you pushed through and made it through the day. You were now at your locker to put away some books you didn’t need before leaving school and heading home. Capri stopped you at the last second. “Oh!” You inhaled sharply, body tense as you felt her hand on your shoulder. “…yes?”

“Damn, are you alright? I’m not a ghost, y/n.”

“Yeah.” You cleared your throat, “About what you heard—”

“Wait, is that why you kept avoiding me today? Girl— I couldn’t care less what people say. I know the truth about myself and I know some people are scared of me. If you are, I can’t blame you. But I’m sorry, I really— I really want to get to know you. I want more friends than just the same few people.”

You relaxed, and finally looked at her properly. “I wanted to ask if you wanted me to pick you up for prom or if we should meet somewhere and come to school together.” Capri continued now that she’s got your attention.

“Um…” You avoided her eyes, “I don’t know.”

“I’ll pick you up then.” She smiled at you— again. Damn it. Capri held out her phone, “Put your number in. I’ll text you, then you let me know your address.”

“Okay.” You answered simply, taking her phone and inputting your phone number.

“What are you doing after this?”

“Huh?” You narrowed your eyes at her, handing her the phone back.

“I mean, you going home or going out?” She asked while typing in a name for your contact.

“Going home. I need a nap.” Your reply was curt, “See you around.”

“Oh,” Capri didn’t even know how to react, “See you tomorrow.” You headed for the doors without turning back. Once home, you took a shower after quickly texting Capri your address.

—————

It was Monday, and the prom was Friday. Truthfully you didn’t have much time to prepare. You had no idea what you were going to wear, though you had like— two new dresses you’ve never worn before, so you were likely just going to decide between the two. In fact, you were not even expecting to be going to the prom with a date.

But right now? It was nap time. You couldn’t fall asleep till past 1am last night and you were in desperate need of some rest. You didn’t even check if Capri had responded. In the end, you woke up around midnight, got a snack then just went on your phone to pass time.

Chuckling at Capri’s texts, you plugged your phone in to charge while you got comfy under the covers once again. Maybe Capri wasn’t too bad after all, you just had to get to know her better than everyone else thinks they did. Well, you were hoping. She better not be putting on an act and humiliate you in front of the entire school. You’d definitely seem like a damn fool then.

The next day at school, Capri was the first person you saw. “Hey.” She greeted. You waved lacklusterly, continuing your walk to your locker. Then, you made it to homeroom with Alex. Darby was in the same homeroom as Capri instead, but you’d see her next period in Spanish class. Today however, you had lunch alone since your friends had theirs one period before yours. So you were minding your own business eating while scrolling through your phone when someone sat opposite you.

“Capri.” You sighed.

“Wow, didn’t know I was that boring.” She chuckled.

“Why aren’t you with your friends?”

“Why can’t I sit with whoever I want?” She asked back.

“Sorry, I was just asking.” You stabbed your fork into the pasta and ate the mouthful, “Never see you sit with anyone else anyway.”

Capri raised a brow, but you didn’t see it, too focused on staring at your food instead to avoid looking at her and seeming too interested in someone you got dared to ask out. “Y’know— my friends dared me to ask you to the prom?”

“So why did you anyway?” She laughed.

“I dunno, maybe I just don’t wanna go to the prom alone anymore this year?”

Capri hummed, the rest of the lunch period then proceeded in silence. But she was in your English class right after so you could not get rid of her if you tried. Well, she sat next to you, and when you tried to move, someone else took the last available desk so you were very much stuck in your current spot— you just treated her like she wasn’t there. It wasn’t that hard, it wasn’t like she was talking to you either.

Capri seemed to have finally gotten the hint and did not try talking to you for the rest of the day. Which was what you wanted anyway. That continued all the way until she picked you up for the prom.

She looked good. She looked absolutely freaking gorgeous, literally took your breath away you could barely get a word out.

“You look nice.” You eventually managed.

“You look pretty nice yourself.” She laughed lightly and gave you a hug before opening the door to the front passenger seat for you. You got in, buckled your seatbelt and she started driving away. Surprisingly, the conversation flowed pretty easy. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.” She answered, keeping her eyes on the road.

“Did you have something to drink before you picked me up? Like alcohol?”

“Maybe a little.” She admitted.

“Oh.” You shrugged, “You didn’t bring any, did you? Otherwise you’re going to get in trouble.”

“Relax, I didn’t.”

Alex and Darby arrived right around the same time you and Capri did. But, they quickly left you alone after a brief greeting. You couldn’t find them after that, so you just stuck with Capri. Her teammates didn’t come up to her either, so far. It’s been about ten minutes and you two were by the snacks, each holding onto a drink— water and fruit punch.

You two shared a glance. And then laughed, “It’s…a little boring isn’t it?”

You nodded, sipping on your punch. “Wanna dance?” Capri asked. You took a deep breath and agreed, even though you had no clue how to dance. You were not about to admit that to school royalty. Somehow, that went by okay, the harder part was ignoring all the attention that was on you because of who your date was. There was a lot of murmuring, a lot of pointing…you didn’t like it one bit. As the time went by, you began to feel more and more comfortable. It didn’t take Capri long to realise.

————

“Hey.” She had lead you to a corner of the gymnasium, at the back— near the doors. “You good?”

“Right now? Not really.” You spat out, “I don’t like all the attention.”

“Should we ditch?”

You looked at her, pondering. “I mean, you seem to be having a good time. And I— I was…”

“But…”

You continued, “It’s getting too much. I’m uncomfortable as hell.”

“Let’s go.” Capri decided, taking your hand in hers.

As she drove away, the school building looks smaller and smaller. And now that it was quiet again, your mind drifts back to earlier on in the evening. When you two were about to dance, Capri did not hesitate for a second to put her arm around you. Feeling her hand sliding across your skin, your heart began to slam against your chest. You liked that physical touch, though you wouldn’t admit it yet. Unbeknownst to you, you were in for quite the surprise of your life that night.

Standing in her kitchen, the brunette offers you a sip of her beer. You declined. She gasped playfully, “You’ve never tried it?”

“Nope.”

“Wanna try?” She asked.

“Just one sip.” You snorted, laughing as you took the metal can from her and took a cautious sip. “Yep, that’s enough for me. Hate it.”

“Fair.” She shrugged, drinking the beer again. “Do you think I’m scary?”

“Not scarier than the kids at school idolising you.” You answered bluntly. “I actually—”

Yeah, no you couldn’t. You couldn’t possibly have feelings for this girl and expect her to feel the same way about you. Even if you could admit it, you still felt like a sinner.

Capri looked at you, waiting for you to continue. You only said, “Actually, never mind. Forget about that.”

“No, go on.” She nudged.

“Doesn’t matter.” You added on dismissively.

Capri’s gaze softened, feeling the silence grow tense. You felt an ache in your throat and stinging in your eyes, you were once again avoiding her face. You laughed wryly, “If I told you I like you, would you believe it?”

“Yeah, I would. Because you got dared by your friends to ask me out to the prom and you would never do something if you didn’t like it . That, I know about you.” As she sipped on the beer, she led you up the stairs to her room.

Well, she honestly chugged half the can by the time the bedroom door clicked shut. “Are you…alright?” You gnawed on your lower lip, watching her raise her brows and stare into space for a second.

She laughs airily, “I am. Just tipsy. So…y/n, this your first time in another girl’s bedroom?”

You nearly snorted. “What do you mean?”

“What I mean…is, have you ever been with a girl. Alone. In her room.” She set the can down on her vanity and walked up to you, a finger on your chest lowered you to sit on the edge of her bed.

“No.” You let out a nervous laugh. “What’s happening?”

She nudged you again, now you fell onto your back, she smoothly straddled you, “Do you wanna have sex?”

Your eyes definitely went wide, “Are you okay? Like, seriously.”

“I’m not drunk, I know I’m straddling you right now on my bed. It’s a legitimate question. You like me…and I like you, so…if you want we could definitely do it.”

“Yeah, sure, fuck it.” You gave in. You two were alone, who was going to stop you? As soon as she heard that, she started to kiss you. Soft and slow, you immediately tasted the alcohol but you soon couldn’t care less. Only wanting more from her already. “You’ve never done this before?”

“Nope.” You murmured, kissing her back like it was a reflex.

She grinned, eager. “Just follow my lead, ‘kay?”

You nodded, reconnecting your lips with hers. Capri kept at it for a bit, then you feel her tongue grazing your lips, like it was seeking permission to enter your mouth. You parted your mouth, allowing her to do so. Her tongue explored each little crevice of it happily. A quiet moan slips from your mouth, prompting Capri to trail down south.

“You doing okay?” She asked while trying to remove your dress.

“Mhm.” You answered hastily.

“If you wanna stop just tell me, okay?” Capri’s eyes flicked up to look at you. You only managed to nod your head. The following few minutes were spent in relative silence. Once your dress was out of the way, Capri took her sweet time covering every bit of your body with her kisses. And when you’d make just a little bit of noise, Capri went back and worked that area over.

You knew this wasn’t her first time, everyone knew that. But no one knew she was this good. She has only ever been with James, but now? It was you. She was with you, sitting on you, kissing you, practically worshiping every inch of your body. The butterflies in your chest were intense.

“Why are you so shy now?” She asked innocently enough, “I wanna hear how good I’m making you feel, baby.” Her finger hooked through the hem of your underwear and slid it off, Capri saw the string of slick getting pulled out along with the fabric. When you felt her lips wrapped around your nipple, you whimpered breathily causing her to suck on the nub harshly and you to make that same noise.

“Aren’t you a good girl?” A smug grin on her face but you didn’t see it. You could definitely hear it in her voice though. “So wet for me…and so quickly…”

“Fuck, Capri.” You grumbled. Annoyed that she was teasing you this much, but still excited. You didn’t know much of what to expect, but you were absolutely having the time of your life right now.

“What, baby?” Capri asked sweetly, climbing off of you and sitting next to you instead. As confused as you were, she was still moving so you didn’t complain. “Legs back.” She tapped your thigh, and so you opened up for her obediently. You watched her, she moved slightly to get a better view. Her hand cupped your mound, sliding lower and gathering your arousal. Her middle finger glides into you, she expertly pushes up against a specific spot, causing a whine to erupt from your throat. You tried your damn best to keep quiet, but that repetitive motion made your mouth become a broken dam…noises were already spilling from it and your vision was getting clouded. She wasn’t going fast by any means, but the pleasure was incredible.

“That feel good?” She asked, watching your face. You nodded without wasting a second, “Fuck.”

Capri lets out an exhale in amusement, a second finger teasing your folds and then your entrance. You didn’t object so she went ahead and added finger number two to the mix. “Oh, fuck—” You groaned lowly, feeling the change, but she kept at the same pace. She was still looking at you, you caught that glimpse of concern. “I’m fine. ‘m fine—” You panted. She leaned down, crashing her lips onto yours once again, just like that…you got more riled up. The worry and discomfort faded into the abyss before you could even realise it. Capri finally started to go faster as your body reacted, as she heard the whines, whimpers and moans you were rewarding her with.

When you felt yourself tightening around her digits, Capri slowed down her pace and eventually came to a halt. You loudly objected that. She smirked— again. You scoffed, “Please.”

Her fingertips barely ghosted your cunt, tickling your cunt. You flinched, she started to rub that bundle of nerves casually. That was not enough. The girl definitely got off on seeing you being all needy. Your mind was blank, with the only thing on it being her.

“Do you think…you can take more?” She asked in a husky voice which sent a goddamn chill down your spine. You whimpered, swallowing harshly. You looked away, she tilted your chin so that you could face her again. “What?” You asked, puzzled.

“Strap?” She suggested. You immediately agreed, you didn’t care what it was, you needed her, and you needed her— stat.

She left the bed, now in her closet. You hear her moving things around then her putting on the harness. You could barely see her through the corner of your eye. “Capri.” You whined, “Please.”

You now know she liked this. So you used it to your advantage. She knelt, positioning herself between your legs. You watched her through blurry vision, paying attention to your face as she dragged the silicone up and down your heat. You were pretty sure you just clenched around nothing. Feeling the tip of it against your entrance, you feel an ache pool in between your thighs. You took a deep breath in anticipation right as the length gets pushed into you. Her weight was soon on you as she held your face to kiss you, turning you on even more, and way too easily. You felt the stretch, no doubt about it. But it wasn’t even uncomfortable, you couldn’t believe it. Next, she had propped herself up by the palms so she could get a momentum going but continue making out with you. Moan after moan was swallowed by her kisses as she locked eyes with you and thrusted her hips against yours. Your head was spinning, and your heart was pounding.

It even got to the point where you teared up a little. She swiped the tear away, cooing at you, “You’re taking me so well, aren’t you, princess?” You gulped. “Hm?” She continued.

“Yeah, yeah.” You babbled, “Oh. Fuck.” Your hand grabbed one side of the pillow beneath your head, “Fuck, fuck— fuck— fuck!” Your body began to tremble, she went faster.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Capri assured, “You’re alright, y/n.” As sweet as she sounded, her movements were merciless. She kept pounding into you, harder and harder, faster and faster. You were a mess beneath her, babbling and in tears, your mind turned to mush. Your hand clawed at her upper back as you let out a scream, breathing ragged as she was still going. It felt too fucking good to ask to stop. “Oh, my god.” You mumbled, “I’m gonna— I’m gonna come— fuck, Capri.”

“Do it, baby.” She encouraged, “Do it for me.” Capri leaned closer and closer as she talked, swallowing any noise you were making by kissing you for the umpteenth time that evening.

“Do it.” She ordered. You unraveled, panting as your body remained to be quivering. Capri began to pull out, you feel the emptiness take over but it was soon replaced by her lips, oh so softly cleaning you up. Cautious and gentle, your heart skipped a beat feeling her pepper ticklish kisses all over your inner thighs before one on your clit that made you throb. What a tease.

“No more?”

You couldn’t even think of what to say, honestly you didn’t want her to stop. Well, and she wasn’t stopping just yet, still savouring every last drop of you. Now this? This was just perfect. It was oddly comforting. “Do that.” You said breathlessly. “Feels good—”

Capri hummed, as though in approval as she carried on eating you out. That was what she was doing now, no longer cleaning you up. It was like she could read your mind, and giving you exactly what you wanted. Her laughs were low, it made you go nuts as she asked, “Am I still terrifying, bunny?”

You yelped, your response coming out strained as you tried not to sob, “No.” She was being so gentle now, too. But you were just about at your limit having never done this before. Every time you felt her lips, it was like a jolt of electricity coursed through your body. Your back arches off the mattress, but the girl remained unfazed, remained attached to you. With just enough pressure to keep the pleasure at that sweet spot. When that once foreign sensation returned, your chest heaved, tears threatened to fall down your face. And they did, you were in tears as you got pushed over the edge a second time, with Capri coaxing you through every wave of it.

That’s it, you were addicted. You needed more of her, she just made you feel so damn good, so damn special. “Shh, shh.” Capri laid down next to you, sans the harness, caressing your cheek, “It’s okay. You’re okay, baby. You did so good, you did so good.”

Your heart did a fucking leap at these assurances and the nickname, but they did their job— it calmed you down. When you felt her wrapping her arms around you, you no longer froze, you no longer felt weird about it. You simply melted into her touch, letting her hold you and whisper sweet words into your ears.

“I’m just like everyone else now, aren’t I?” You asked no one in particular, “Hopelessly in love with you.”

She hummed, “No, there’s a difference. Most of them have never been here with me. Ever. But you, you have and like I said, I like you. I really do.”

“So I’m special?” You joked sleepily.

Capri gave you a hearty laugh, “Very much so, yeah.” Then a smirk, which now when you saw it, you no longer felt irritated by. In fact, you loved it. “Oh, and— I’m so glad you didn’t go out with James tonight.”

“What? How’d you find that out?”

“Please — I saw him pacing around near your locker trying to drop you a little letter, he never did it.” Capri snorted a little, amused.

“He then showed up at the coffeeshop where I worked and tried to ask by writing that down on the paper cup he used. I flat out rejected him.” You revealed, instinctively snuggling closer to her. Capri pressed a kiss to the crown of your head, “Lucky me~”

“I’d say I’m the lucky one.” You murmured.

She sighed softly, rubbing your back, “I really like you, y/n.”

You didn’t want to keep hearing that, so you said, “Can I sleep? Spend the night?”

“Of course, baby. It’s late. I’m not letting you go off into the night alone.” She held you tighter. You smiled, going unnoticed by her as your face was smushed against her chest, hidden.

You stayed silent, and before various irritating thoughts could overtake your mind, you drifted off to sleep in her arms. You fell asleep in the arms of the girl of your dreams…you actually couldn’t believe it. Your mind wouldn’t let you, you still felt like you shouldn’t like her. And it wasn’t because you couldn’t— because she liked you back. But because you were only ever taught that it was wrong to like a girl. A part of you knew it was something out of your control, you couldn’t choose your sexuality. But another part was yelling at you to retreat. You wanted to scream and cry, frustrated at how fast those feelings and thoughts came on.

At that very moment, “Just go to sleep, baby.” She said gently, “Just go to sleep, I’ve got you. Everything’s okay, you’re alright.”

“Good night, Capri.”

“G’night.” You heard her chuckle and felt the vibrations of the noise on the top of your head, “Sweet dreams, y/n.”

🏷️Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128

💭A/N:

Look who’s finally posting a fic of her usual word count🫣

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idontplaytrack · 1 day ago

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Christmas in Chicago

Janis ‘Imi’ike x fem! reader(+ Cadina, ft. Damian)

Warnings: long chapter, smut, angst, fluff, coarse language, mentions of suicidal thoughts

Christmas in Chicago doesn’t pan out to be as picture perfect as they thought. Other parts to the series can be found here.

“Hi, Jeanie!” Regina immediately accepted the girl’s hug and picked her off the ground. Kalia lets go a few seconds later and zoomed past your sister to tackle Jace and Cady in a hug too. You and Janis laughed, finally stepping inside the former ‘Imi’ike house that your sister and her wife have called home for the last half a decade.

“Your garage is still your garage.” Regina remarked with her signature smirk, “We just park in the driveway.”

“Why is it such a surprise to you?” The blonde couldn’t help it but laugh when she saw Janis’ look of shock.

“Because it’s literally been years and you guys could’ve used the space, Regina.” Janis bit back a laugh.

Cady chimed in, “Honestly the car was a pretty recent purchase.”

Jace and Kalia were already playing with a whole bunch of his toys in a corner while you and Janis only just got settled down. It was…trippy to see this place again. It already looked so different now but still felt like home to you now that you were back. “How hard was it for them to let you two come here?” Regina asked, grabbing some M&Ms from the bowl on the coffee table. You followed suit. “Them? You mean—” “Yeah, uncle and aunty.” Regina nodded, “And dad.” She held the bowl closer to Janis. She only took a few pieces— she liked Goobers better.

“They were really excited for us, not gonna lie.”

“Really?” Regina chuckled, “You guys are like their babies.”

“Well—” You squinted at your sister.

“Drinks?” Cady interjected.

“I’m good.” You told her, meanwhile Janis headed for the kitchen where Cady was. They began chatting, leaving you and Regina alone on the couch.

“Are you okay?” Regina asked quietly.

“I mean, you know I’m currently waiting for some results, Reg.” “You’ll be alright.” Regina was sure about it. You were not. Your eyes fell on the kids giggling and playing Scrabble Junior, then at Janis and Cady deep in conversation before looking at your sister.

“I don’t have a very good feeling about it, to be honest with you.” You admitted, “She’s definitely talking about it too.”

“Who else knows?” Regina’s face fell, eyes filled with worry. Your heart ached.

“Damian…and the family.” You replied, staring at the bowl of colourful chocolate.

“How did it— I’m sorry—” Regina gulped, blinking profusely.

“Kalia tackled me in a hug, as she does, y’know. I guess the impact made me feel the pain. That’s never happened before and I thought it was a one-off thing so I just toughed it out? Didn’t tell Janis until like a week later.” You scoffed.

Regina was completely silent, just listening.

“I don’t have a primary care doctor so I reached out to Aukai to ask her opinion. She uh, told me to go to Urgent Care to get checked out, I did, they couldn't figure it out. Gynecologist saw me, then the general surgery team. Had an ultrasound, got sent home with Tylenol. Waited two weeks, got a CT. Results were that they saw a growth. Another week later, I got an MRI and a CT-guided biopsy in the same week.”

Regina looked at you, sad as she held onto your hand and gave it a squeeze. “It was not supposed to go like this. We were supposed to see Aukai next month for an IVF consultation.” You revealed, “But now I’m just wasting time, racking up medical bills.”

“It’s going to be okay.”

“No. No, Reg. Nothing is according to plan now. And I have way too much to lose.”

“I take it they say that they’ll call if they find something?” You nodded. “And they haven’t?” She asked, you nodded again. “It’s been almost two weeks, baby.” Regina pointed out, “No news is good news.”

That evening, you get a call informing you that results were ready. Nothing more, but you were shocked they even called since it was two days to Christmas. You had an appointment to go over results, but that wasn’t until the morning after returning to Hawai’i. Meaning, it was at least another week of waiting. Worrying was pointless. You knew the results were black and white, it wasn’t going to change no matter what you did in the meantime.

After dinner, you were in the old garage with Janis. Except…everything looked well taken care of. Surfaces were all clean, floors have been swept or mopped— even vacuumed, the sheets were fresh too. It was like you guys have never left. Jace and Kalia were swimming out back, Regina and Cady were with them. In the meantime, you needed to talk with Janis. But still, you and her have been sitting in silence for a good while. You were sat next to her until you decided that that wasn’t good enough. Then, came the trusty koala hug. You shut your eyes, resting your chin on her shoulder while you felt her palm going up and down your back in a soothing motion.

“We’re okay, honey.” Janis whispered.

“I’m scared, Jan.” You admitted meekly.

“I’ve got you, okay? Always. We’ll get through this, no problem.” Janis hummed, “Trust me.” “I do.” You swallowed your tears, “I trust you with my life.”

“Deep breaths, okay?” Janis reminded, “you’ll be okay. I just know it.”

You chuckled, sniffling, “And if I’m not?”

“Baby, that wouldn’t change a thing. I’ll take care of you, and we’ll make it through.” Janis’ hand stopped moving, “Like we always have.”

That was the end of this conversation. You proceeded to fall asleep in her arms after the chat took a lighthearted turn for some time. When you woke up again, it was in the middle of the night— to use the bathroom. Janis was unsurprisingly still awake. “I like the night.” She chuckled, “It’s so peaceful. I just do my art for awhile. And think.”

You smiled at her adoringly, then asked, “Where’s Kalia?”

“She decided she wanted a ‘sleepover’ in Jace’s room. So she’s currently peacefully asleep on a mattress next to his bed.

“Oh.” You laughed.

“They’re never bored together. It’s pretty awesome.”

“And now she may never get a sibling so…Jace is great.”

“Honey.” Janis put her pencil down.

“We don’t know how it’s going to affect me, Jan.”

“Still, don’t brood over it. We’ll take it as it comes.”

You agreed, “I know, I know.”

“Realistically, I can be the one carrying next time around.” Janis mentioned, “It’s only fair that we take turns. Maybe then the baby will finally look like you.”

You tried your best to keep from laughing but you just had to laugh. “Hmm, maybe.” You said eventually, “Thank you for making me laugh.”

“Anytime, honey.” She planted a kiss on your shoulder, “Should we head to bed?”

“Mm-kay.” You gave in and quickly yawned, “I like the sketch.”

“Thank you~” Janis grinned, “What if I get it tatted?”

“I think it’ll look great.” You broke away from the embrace and led her over to bed.

Now with both of you comfortably snuggled under the covers, it was so easy to just drift off to sleep. But, you could feel Janis looking at you. So, you didn’t give in to the sleepiness just yet. A second later, you feel her hand caressing your cheek. You smiled, then her lips were on yours fleetingly. You reciprocated, “What?” You asked, voice barely above a whisper.

“Nothing.” Janis hummed, kissing you again— a little deeper this time, “I just love you.”

“I love you more.” You murmured.

“Go to sleep.” She wrapped her arms around you securely, “I’m gonna be right here.”

“I know. Good night, Jan.”

————

“Good morning!” Jace greeted you once you’d stepped into the kitchen. “Hey, bud.” You sat down next to him at the kitchen island. “Morning, mama.” Kalia came walking from the bathroom— likely having just brushed her teeth. She beamed, then sat down on your right. You were now seated in between the kids. “Hi, my love.” You leaned over slightly, kissing her on the top of her head.

“Okay, Jeanie. Cereal or pancakes?”

“Oooh, cereal please.” Kalia decided when she saw the box of strawberry cheerios sitting on the kitchen countertop.

“Good choice.” Cady chuckled, “Sit tight and I’m gonna make you a bowl real quick okay? You want some water or juice?”

“I’ll get the water.” Kalia hopped off the stool, took a plastic cup and walked over to the fridge to dispense the chilled water into it. While Cady pushed the bowl of Cheerios in front of Kalia, the redhead asked you what you wanted. You were still half asleep. “Pancakes?” You blinked. “It’s banana chocolate chip.” She informed you. “That sounds delicious, I’ll have some.”

She plated three for you then proceeded to ask if you wanted a cup of coffee. “No, thanks.”

“Right, the caffeine makes you nauseated.” Cady seethed, Regina walked out from their room at this moment, saying good morning. Your sister gave Jace, you then Kalia all a kiss on the head— in that order, as she walked by. “Morning, sweetheart.” Regina went over to Cady at last, sweetly pecking her on the lips. “Here are your pancakes? Want a coffee?” Cady handed her the plate. “Yeah, but afterwards.” Regina smiled contently, “Thank you for making breakfast.”

“Not a problem. I love cooking, it’s fun getting to try out new recipes.” Cady joined you all too, standing by the island as she ate. The island only fit three stools, so your sister and Cady were standing, actually. Once Jace finished eating his breakfast, he told his moms that he was going to feed Fruit Loop— yeah, their cat. Kalia soon went after him, but not before she’d placed her bowl and spoon in the sink. The cat’s been practically stuck to her side since you guys got here. Janis had just woken up too, slightly confused by how the kids were so energetic already. She laughed, petting the cat which Jace was holding. “Was just about to go in there and wake you up.” Regina teased.

Janis laughed, still sleepy as she habitually leaned her head on your shoulder for a moment once she had settled in on the stool next to you.

“G’morning.” You snickered, finding that sleepy look endearing. She smiled and lazily kissed you on the cheek, “Hi.”

“I’m guessing you want the pancakes?”

“Hell yeah, they look amazing.” Janis mumbled. “You guys make any coffee?”

“I’m about to.” Regina allowed herself to chuckle, “What flavour do you want?”

“I’ll take anything.” Janis said back, eyes lighting up at the plate of pancakes Cady was handing to her, “Ooh, yum. Thank you.”

“We’re gonna eat out for lunch, but dinner will be made by yours truly.” Regina cackled, making you all laugh. “You— try not to stay up that late too much.”

“It wasn’t late by my standards.” Janis sulked.

“Trust me, it was late no matter what.” You stole a sip of Janis’ coffee.

“And trust me, honey, you’re gonna be paying for that if you have any more of it.”

“Just one sip is fine.” You pouted.

While the kids were entertained by Fruit Loop jumping up at a toy mouse attached to a string on a stick, Regina checked in on you again. “It’s…fine.” You answered, completely uninterested. She decided to drop the conversation despite the obvious worry.

Being the youngest amongst your friends, you were used to being treated like the baby. But this current situation made you incredibly pissed off that nothing you were doing could help you feel better. Pain medication barely helped, your only saving grace at the moment were heat packs. Plus, it was wintertime now so you especially were prone to colds and things like that. All in all, you were having a rough time. But, pushing through regardless— as long as they didn’t treat you like you were sick and dying.

You played with the kids once you were done eating. Escaping into their world of no worries seemed like the perfect way to go about your day for now. Janis hung back, finishing up her meal. Regina and Cady sat down and chatted with her in the meantime. A handful of colouring sheets and puzzles later, you got up for a drink of water then handed the kids a juice box each. They said their thanks before you turned back around to the kitchen to grab them a snack. Now, you tried to sit back down but the twinge of pain in your lower right side came back more strongly then it had been like all morning. So, you excused yourself and let the kids carry on busying themselves with their game of Connect4.

You were sure one of the three sitting at the kitchen island saw you leave the living and walk towards the garage. You couldn’t be bothered if they did, right now. All you wanted was to escape. You needed a moment to breathe and just get through it. The constant, lingering pain was like a nagging parent by your ear. For something you didn’t do. Annoying. Infuriating, even.

Your eyes were shut as you laid on your back, hand smoothing over the silk sheets as you took deep breaths. For a bit, you felt better. Your mind stopped racing about the possible results. Then, it was time for the self-blaming which caused you to squeeze a pillow so hard you ended up getting pissed at yourself and throwing the pillow onto the ground. Finally, you were on your left side just staring at the wall.

“Hey, baby.”

You blinked your forming tears away now that you were no longer alone. What was Regina doing in here? You exhaled harshly, vexed.

You felt a dip in the mattress, she’d sat down. What you didn’t expect was her laying down and hugging you from behind.

“Reg.” You exhaled shakily, “I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“Being in pain is such a difficult thing. I don’t know how you do it, I was such an annoying person to look after.”

“You’re always going to be my baby, hm? I don’t care how much pain I feel, I’ll always be glad to see you.” Regina assured, “We always did this, didn’t we? Snuggle together, have a good cry then watch a movie and snack on cookies.”

“I’m terrified. The pain has not went away, look at how much time has passed since it started.”

“Hey, look. Life…is always going to try and be stupid and give us some problems. But we have what it takes to get through it, y’know? One way or another, baby. Some days we face it head on, other days we curl up in bed and cry…hope it passes. Still, it passes.” Regina said, “It’s okay to be scared, that’s normal to feel. But you’re not alone, baby. You have us, we’re here to help you, go through it together. When you’re down we’re all here to pick you back up, be strong for you. The universe has got nothing against us, we always win.”

By the time you had turned around to face her, you were in tears, sobbing. You’d finally let the tears go. Regina just held you and kept telling you it was okay, that everything was going to be okay. But the sheer nostalgia of her gesture and thinking about everything that you’ve been through thus far opened the floodgates. Regina was unfazed, she just wanted to be here for you. “Did they nominate you to come in here to talk to me?”

“No.” She answered with a tiny chuckle, “I decided I would.”

You only blinked, looking at her as she held your face in her hand, “Look at you. You’ve come so far, you’ve grown up. I can’t wrap my head around that sometimes. In my mind you’re still going to be that little girl, always needing me, needing my protection.”

“I’m not a child anymore, Reg.” You laughed tearfully when she smooched you on the head.

“Well, I’ll always treat you like my baby. Because you are, I watched you grow up, right alongside me. I raised you.”

“I wish you didn’t have to.” You swallowed the painful lump in your throat, “You missed out on a lot because of me.”

“Never.” Regina’s eyes got teary, “You’re so worth it.”

————

Christmas morning, you were all gathered around the tree in the living room to open up presents. You were in better spirits, but there was still an inherent anxiety now that you were inching closer to the date of the review appointment. Jace got a few toys he’s been wanting from Cady and Regina. You got him pajamas with his favourite cartoon character on them, a matching cushion and fleece throw blanket. And Janis, embroidered an artwork of the kid’s favourite cartoon character for him to hang up in his room. He was most excited about Janis’ gift, knowing that she made it herself.

Then it was Kalia’s turn. Regina got her this pair of minnie mouse ears she begged you and Janis for some time back but never got. You two could never justify spending $40 on that, she never brought it up again to be fair and instead asked to have a mickey ice cream to eat while walking through the theme park. “Thank you, Aunt Reggie!” Kalia gasped, dropping the headband and hugging her tight.

“You’re welcome.” Regina couldn’t hide her smile.

Cady got her a box set of books— The Magic Tree House series. Kalia was even happier about that, getting new titles to keep herself entertained. And of course, for bedtime stories by you and Janis.

She opened your gift first, which was a Pillow Pet of Valentino from Wish, one of her favourite movies. She squealed when she saw that and was immediately hugging it the rest of the time. Finally, Janis’ gift. A baby blue coloured pillow case with Angel sewn onto it. “Oh, my Gosh!” She exclaimed, “This can match my Stitch one you made for me, mommy. Thank you!”

By the time it was your turn to open Regina’s gifts, she very quickly stopped you from doing so. With her that could only mean the kids weren’t supposed to see it. You and Janis finally got to open it once you guys have tucked Kalia in for the night. “Enjoy the gifts~”

Janis laughed, “Just be glad the garage remained soundproof.”

You glared at Janis, “Oh, my God.”

“You too, honey.” She snickered.

You snorted, “Don’t I know it.”

Ripping off the wrapping paper, Janis tossed it in the trash can. “Oh. Yeah.” Janis couldn’t stop giggling, “So she did get us toys.“

“And the lingerie?” You held it up by a finger.

“I think that’d be for you.” Janis laughed, pressing a kiss to your lips. “To think she used to tease us for fucking.”

“Yeah, well—”

“Wanna use it?”

“I dunno.” You hummed, “Remind me…how long has it been since we—”

“Like two months.”

“So yes.” You bit back a laugh.

“Are you sure?” Janis asked, referring to the pain you’ve been dealing with.

“Janis right now I think I’ll be more miserable being turned on and not being able to do anything about it, than in some pain.”

“It’s up to you, honey.” Janis nodded, “As long as you’re happy. But we can stop at any time, okay? Don’t forget that.”

“I know, Jan.” You said in response, “Always.”

“My God, the lingerie’s already been washed?” You noticed the smell of the detergent.

“She knows.” Janis laughed, “Put it on.”

You raised a brow, slightly hesitant but did so anyway, “Just so you’ll be having your fun ripping it off me?”

“Look at that, you know me so well.” Janis grinned, ogling as you stripped off your clothes and put on the lingerie set. “Geez, I haven’t worn something like that in so long. The last time I did, we were still in that little apartment.”

“Well, you look very pretty.” Janis batted her lashes and there was just something about that which made you burst out laughing. In that box was a strap, a vibrator and this lingerie set. Even without the first two things, just looking at Janis and allowing your mind to wander got you in the mood fast. “Lie down.” Janis muttered, tone of voice rapidly making you giddy. You did, laying down, head on your pillow as she laid, almost entirely on her stomach next to you, fingertips teasingly slowly sliding up your cheek and cupping your face. The kisses promptly began, tender, loving and like a well-coordinated dance between your lips. Your eyes fluttered shut, allowing the sensations to heighten themselves. The constant touch and go of her lips against yours, feeling it over and over again caused a burst of butterflies to erupt in your chest. Her hand slid off your face, now caressing your side and every so often gave your breast a squeeze, while yours seamlessly moved past hers and latched itself on the side of her neck. You moaned into the kiss and so did she, now kissing you deeper and more longingly, Before long, you feel the warmth of her palm on your lower abdomen. Janis broke away from the kiss briefly, gazing into your eyes, having you absolutely lost in her mesmerising brown orbs. She nodded, lips slightly parted as she asked, “Yeah?”

As though dazed, you didn’t verbally respond and only gave her a nod, your hand sliding back up her neck as she swiftly leaned in again to capture your lips into her own. Her hand gradually slid lower and lower, she pulled your legs open by your thigh. Then, her fingertips were on your swelling clit, her movements natural, smooth…no hesitance, no doubt. You squirmed, she swatted your inner thigh and a needy little whimper flew into her mouth from yours. Her teeth grazed your lips and even bit down, you whined again. She only chuckled, then resumed kissing you gently as if she was trying to soothe you, calm you down.

As her hand massaged your inner thigh, you felt yourself aching and throbbing, starting to leak onto the sheets waiting for her to return to your cunt. Janis was taking her sweet time, though. So you were getting a little impatient, not to mention that the cramping due to arousal was slightly worse due to the quote-unquote growth you had in your lower right side. As uncomfortable as that felt, your priority was wanting Janis. Wanting Janis to make you feel so damn good like she always does. Your mind had turned foggy, and she hadn’t stopped kissing you, you were starting to feel like you were ascending into a whole other dimension under her ministrations. At last, you feel hand under the considerably thin fabric of the underwear, and her pushing a finger into you then quickly added a second one into the mix. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion…everything but your heartbeat.

Your noises were soft, timid…almost pathetic, entirely matching the gentle and leisurely pace and vibe that she had set for the night. A nice change of pace, if you will. Things usually got very hot and heavy with Janis very quickly, though it was nice no matter what. It was always fun to shake things up. Janis had finally shifted, now sucking at your neck, undoubtedly marking your skin in the meantime. It made you cry out when she finally hit a specific spot, so she went harder, and also pushed her fingers up against that spongy spot more harshly, but only for a beat. Slowly but surely, you were feeling the loss of friction, you were feeling your climax approach, you were feeling the pleasure peak. You felt like you had lost your mind, but it was okay…more than okay. Because right now, nothing mattered as much as your pleasure did.

You felt a little bit of a stretch that made you whine when she decidedly gave you a third finger in your cunt. Proud, she went a little quick, plunging her fingers and out of you until you were clawing at her back. Then, the loss of that stimulation was just as rapid. You were too bothered, also too close. But all she did was kiss you again, soft and agonisingly slow, kneading your tit similarly. It felt good, but wasn’t merely enough. Without looking your wife reached for the vibrator and switched it on, holding it to your clit and watched your face contort. You were chewing on your already swollen and bleeding lips, desperate to not make a noise. Janis held your chin and pressed the toy hard against you. You yelled, then cursed under your breath, simultaneously feeling a sharp pain in your lower right side that made your eyes sting. You throbbed, your chest heaved, you were panting by the time she made you shut up by never letting her lips leave yours. The vibrator stayed in its spot, at that same speed but you were getting louder and louder despite her tactic to shut you up. It’s never truly worked that well, she was just too good. The more the pleasure built up, the harder your nails dug into her back, like a hopeless diversion, a useless reflex. But damn was she enjoying the pain you were causing her. Whatever noises that were resounding through the enclosed space were seriously lewd, but worked in your favours. When you tried to be nice and reached down her pants, she swatted your hand away and resumed. She didn’t even need to say anything— that was a warning. Right as you were about to let go, Janis abandoned the toy, moved aside and left you there, making you watch her put on the harness otherwise she’d just stop moving and watch you be needy. So…you watched her, as hard as it was. Because Janis definitely rewarded you. Not to mention she wasted absolutely no time doing so, the shaft glided into you and bottomed out within seconds. You groaned, eyes screwing shut for a moment when you felt the fullness. This was way more than what you were used to.

Janis didn’t move yet, wanting to allow you to adjust to the size. “Should I sto—”

You mumbled, shaking your head vigorously. Your desire for her was strong, she saw it in your eyes which gave her the confirmation she needed to continue. Janis’ pace started off languish, but the new thing hit just about every spot within you. You were seeing stars, teary-eyed and a babbling mess all at once. With Janis cooing at you and whispering praises into your ears as she rutted her hips against yours, her hands were still holding onto her back for stability. It feels like your whole body could turn into jelly by the end of the night. The eye contact unsurprisingly remained unbroken, You were getting closer and closer by the minute, and Janis wasn’t even moving that much or fast. Everything going on now was sufficient to bring you to your high. When Janis pushed the bra aside, freeing your breast to her, her lips were on your it, sucking at the sensitive flesh…and her tongue swirling around the tip, you were done for. You clenched around the shaft, clinging onto Janis as you began to write out every wave of your orgasm. Which…somehow was one of the most intense ones you’ve ever had. Janis was still thrusting in and out, much slower now. Your legs were shaking by the time she’d pulled out.

You were in a very worry-free dazed state for awhile, enjoying being in the embrace of your wife, hearing her sweet words and assurances, feeling her comforting touch to bring you back down to reality. You fell asleep without a problem, and while you woke up well-rested, the pain hit you like the shitton of bricks with the bliss obviously long gone. You freshened up and got dressed then joined the rest of the family for breakfast outside. You could barely straighten your back, and your legs felt weak from last night. Still, you gritted your teeth and went ahead, cautiously settling down on the couch after fixing yourself a bowl of cereal. “Morning.” Regina looked over at you next to her, “Long night?”

You shrugged, blank look on your face as you stared at the TV and munched on the cereal. Kalia came up to you to show you her new bracelet, you smiled and told her you loved it. She gleefully skipped away then you got back to being silent. You felt someone’s stare burning holes into the back of your head, still, you didn’t look back and just finished off your cereal. You found yourself back in bed after breakfast, you knew that if you tried doing anything, it would not go well. The pain was bad, and your first thought was to isolate. You couldn’t handle that much of human interaction while trying to hope that the pain passes. Of course, someone walked in soon enough. And that person, would be Janis.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, walking closer to you.

“Don’t know, don’t want to care.” You answered snappily, facing away from her.

“Do you need anything?”

“Yeah, to be left the fuck alone.”

“Honey—”

“Janis, I can’t— okay? It feels like my lower right side is getting punched over and over. I can’t deal—”

“I just wanted to help.” Janis swallowed her tears, blinking profusely.

“You can’t.” You spat, “Nothing works! I’m sitting here thinking I’m better off dead. I need this to go away but I can’t think of how it could possibly be the case. So I stepped away, I’m trying to take a moment and just tough it out, I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do, Janis— you all treating me like I’m a terminally ill child isn’t helping my crazy brain telling me I’m a burden all the time!”

You hear her exhale, and nothing was said.

“Go away. I don’t want you to see me like this.”

Janis left like you told her to. You just flopped onto bed and curled up into a fetal position and cried your eyes out. At first, you were letting out your frustration. But after a while, it was from the guilt of making Janis feel the way she felt because of your responses. About ten minutes must have passed before you heard the door shut. Someone else was in the garage with you now, but you couldn’t tell who it was because your vision was clouded by the tears.

“It’s okay, mama.”

You just sobbed harder than before hearing her little voice. “Can I give you a hug?” She scooted closer to you. You sniffled, swallowing your tears. Nodding your head, you opened up your arms. Kalia was being extra careful not to lay on you where it hurt.

“Thank you, baby.” You gulped, speaking shakily.

Regina came in pretty abruptly, and understandably so. “Oh.” Regina said.

“I’m sorry.” You looked at your sister.

“It’s alright, baby.” She came over, “It’s alright. Take your time.”

“Is she okay?”

“She’s fine, we told her to take a bit of time for herself. She said she was going to spend time with Damian then she’ll be back.” Regina assured.

“Do you feel like you need to go to the hospital? For better pain control?” Regina asked straightforwardly.

“No, please. They already thought I was crazy and asking for drugs.” You divulged. Regina sat down on the bed too, a comforting hand on your thigh, “Is there anything at all that I can do?” Regina understood that better than anyone.

You didn’t say anything, you couldn’t, really.

“Have you taken any painkillers yet?”

“Tylenol didn’t do anything for me.” You cleared your throat, taking a peek at Kalia who was sweetly snuggled up against you.

“You wanna try something stronger? We have Naproxen.”

“I guess?” You answered, somehow still feeling the urge to cry. Then you felt Kalia’s hand on your cheek, her thumb stroking your cheek and swiping away the tears.

“Look, I can even let you try out that medicine I have for my back. It’s up to you, okay? Right now you need something to take the edge off.” Regina added on, “I’ll be back in a minute.”

“Do you want to watch a movie?” You suggested, worrying that Kalia would be bored.

“No, mama. It’s okay. You need to rest. I just want to snuggle with you.”

“Okay.” You replied, rubbing her back, “Thank you for snuggling with me.”

She smiled, lips a little pouty, seemingly having caught on about your current mood. ”I wish you had froggie with you. He always makes you feel better too.”

“You make me feel better too, my love.” You told her softly.

“I love you, mama.”

“I love you more.”

————

“Look, I’m seeing both sides here, Janis.” Damian said earnestly, “Your frustration, I get it. She’s keeping it to herself and you don’t want her to deal with it alone. Meanwhile for her, you know her, she cries because people she loves are crying. She feels guilty for making you upset or angry. But right now…sweetie she’s dealing with a completely unknown, unexplained pain. That’s constant and doesn’t get better no matter what she’s tried. She’s pushing you away, she’s snapping at you because…you. She feels so safe with you that she can just let out her bottled up emotions and helplessness to you. She doesn’t mean that she’s mad at you, she’s mad at the world, her body, sometimes even herself for things that she cannot control. For things that aren’t her fault.”

Janis nodded, internally working through her best friend’s words in her mind, “Oh, my God. She literally already told me, she told me she’s scared. I should’ve —”

“Hey. None of that ‘I should’ve, I could’ve’ nonsense.” He promptly cut her off, “This is good, no suppressing of anything. Talk, talk, talk. Work through it together. You guys will be fine.”

“She told me she thinks she’d be better off dead. I can’t have her believe that. What if she—”

“Just keep doing what you’re doing. Be present. She knows she has so much to live for, but also just as much to lose. That’s why she’s feeling so much, that’s why you’re feeling so much. Remind her that you’re here, with her. In any way you can, hugs, kisses, cuddles, making her her favourite food, getting her her favourite drink, cookies anything. I know you do all of these but she needs extra reminders now, you’re doing your best and while you’re busy taking care of her. Make use of any downtime you have to take care of yourself, without you…things are going to be so tough. You are her rock, just like she is yours. But life is not always fair, and there’s going to be challenges…how you come out of it depends on how you face it.”

“Dude.” Janis laughed teary-eyed, “Can you come home with us? Like— come on, I need my best friend.”

“Like…back home to Hawai’i? Girl, I might actually consider that. Practically have nothing to keep me here anyways.” Damian said.

His parents had been separated his whole life, and he was under the care of his grandma until she passed away after he graduated from college. He’s just been in Evanston to be closer to her, but he was finally feeling ready to go out, explore. And not worry too much.

“You wanna come with me back to Regina and Cady’s? I’m sure Kalia would be so happy to see her Uncle Damian.”

“Thought you’d never ask.” Damian chuckled.

“Drive me to the store so I can grab a few things on the way back?”

“Not a problem, my friend. Come on, let’s go.” Damian nudged, and off they went.

You dozed off with Kalia after taking the medicine, Regina draped a blanket over the both of you and left the garage to go do some cleaning in the house. “Regina, she’ll be okay.” Cady instantly came up to her side.

“I know, just a rough patch right now, that’s all. Right?” Regina tilted her head, grabbing the dustpan and broom for the corner. The pair chatted as they cleaned until Janis returned, bringing Damian along with her. “Damian! Good to see you.” Regina smiled, giving the guy a side hug. “Hi, Jay.”

“Hey.” Janis laughed awkwardly, “Mind if I use the kitchen? I wanna make y/n something to eat. Is she asleep?”

“Not at all, go ahead.” Regina shrugged, “And yeah, she’s asleep. Kalia’s with her. She’s calmed down. I gave her a stronger painkiller then she dozed off. I hope it works even just a little bit.”

“Me too, Tylenol did not do shit.” Janis started to unpack the bit of groceries she bought, Damian joined her in the kitchen to help her cook.

“What’s Jace doing? Why’s it so quiet?”

“He’s good, was in his room reading the new storybook he got. I just checked on him before you came from the garage. He’s napping too.”

“Oh, good.” Regina heaved a sigh of relief.

Cady narrowed her eyes at the blonde, “Gina, go take a shower, take a breather. Go.”

“I will, Cads. I will.” Regina took a deep breath, “I’ll go right now.”

You woke up a little over an hour later, carefully got out of bed and tucked Kalia in so she could continue sleeping. You didn’t even make it out of the garage when Janis came in to check on you. You immediately apologised, and so did she. “Last night, I wanted all of that so don’t be sorry, please. I just dealt with it poorly. I shouldn’t have lashed out.”

Janis noticed Kalia still asleep so she took you outside into the house. Sitting down at the dining table, she continued, “You’re scared and I get it. We both just had a moment and lost our cool. But I want you to know, we’re okay. No matter what we’re going through or how tough, we will always have each other. You can always come to me— I will always be here for you. I made a promise…that I intend to keep until our very last breath, honey.”

For the lack of better words, you just held her hand and kissed her on the lips. “I get it, it’s hard. Getting used to being able to go to someone, rely on someone. Talk about things…big or small. But you know me, and I know that. Anything to do with you, with Kalia…I’m all ears no matter how silly you may think it is.”

Silence then lapsed between the two of you, but it was comfortable. ”You missed lunch, so eat up. Okay?” Janis pushed the plate closer to you.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” She smiled warmly.

“No, I mean— for— everything. Not just making my favourite food.”

“You’re my wife. I’d do anything for you, just like you would for me. That’s what we do, we’re partners.”

“For life.” You finally cracked a smile, she tilted your face. You were looking at her while chewing a small mouthful of the food. She held your face in her hand, just seeming to be admiring your features for some seconds before smiling.

“For life.” She sealed that promise with a kiss.

🏷️Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128

💭A/N:

This chapter’s kind of all over the place and majorly unplanned so 🫠 oops. Sorry y’all. Is anyone even reading this series anymore 🧍🏻‍♀️😭

#auli’i cravalho #janis ‘imi’ike #x reader #reader imagine #fanfiction #wlw fanfiction #mean girls 2024 #mgmm fics #mature themes #smut #fluff #angst #regina george #cady heron #renee rapp #angourie rice #cadina #multi part fic #fic: euphoria

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