#and feel free to share more thoughts if you disagree with me!!!

[cetaitlaverite]

I feel like I need to play devil's advocate and defend Freddie. Daniel's death caused a massive traumatic shock to Freddie, and as she herself said, it broke something inside her. It’s very understandable why she wants to keep everyone she loves close to her; she doesn’t want to miss any moments with them, good or bad. Also, can you imagine what it must feel like to immigrate to a completely different country, a different continent? By ship, it takes days to arrive in New York, and that's if the weather is good. The first commercial flight from London to New York happened in the late 1950s. The main way of communicating was through letters, which took days to arrive. When Freddie felt homesick, she couldn’t just FaceTime her parents; she had to write a letter or maybe call, but it still wouldn’t be enough.

I know she has Rosie, but it's not the same. You can't tell me that when you have a really hard time, you don’t want your parents. When she has children, she would definitely want her mother (please don’t bring up her age; people want their parents close no matter how old they are. Parents give their children a type of comfort that no one else can). She will have Rosie’s family, but it’s still not the same.You can’t speak to your in law family the same way you speak to your, no matter how much you love them.

Is she spoiled and selfish? Yes, she is, especially when she asked Jen to come to New York because Jen has her own life and everyone she loves is in England. So why should she move to New York just because of Freddie? But Freddie asking her parents to move to New York is not completely unreasonable. Daniel died, and Rosie almost died. Those two instances almost shattered Freddie completely. You can’t call her selfish and spoiled when she wants her parents close to her after everything she has been through. Imagine something happens to your family, but when you learn about it, it’s too late to even say goodbye. Does she need a fresh start somewhere far away from all the horrible things she has been through? Yes, she does! But she is not unreasonable in asking her parents to come with her.

i absolutely get what you’re saying and i do agree with you, in the sense that if i didn’t think it made sense i wouldn’t have had freddie ask her parents to come at all!! it’s completely understandable to me that after her trauma she would want to keep her loved ones close - i wouldn’t have written her with separation anxiety if it wasn’t!!

when i say she’s selfish it’s less because she’s asking at all and more because she expects the answer to be yes. she tells rosie that her parents have no reason to stay in england if she’s not there because her british grandparents are dead, which is a very self-centred perspective to take on the matter. her father’s job is there and her parents have been there since since freddie was 14 - that’s 11 years at this point!! - not to mention it’s the city where they met and fell in love. so they absolutely do have reasons to stay in england even if freddie’s not there.

she’s a spoilt character, it’s a product of her upbringing and her experiences. do i think this makes her a bad person? absolutely not!! she has a good heart, and it’s important that she doesn’t truly understand how much she asks of those she loves because if she did she wouldn’t ask. and moving overseas is a huge deal!! it’ll be such a huge upheaval for her!! but that’s why she shouldn’t expect everyone she loves to do it with her. she can ask, but the main thing that makes her spoiled is that she expects it. when her mother first says no her first instinct is to accuse her of not wanting to have freddie around instead of to understand why she might not want to follow her.

i can understand where you’re coming from with this, though!! and it genuinely makes me so happy you wanted to come and defend freddie - she’s my baby and i’m so glad you love her as much as i do!!! but ultimately we can love her and empathise with her and understand why she does the things she does without always having to agree with them. it’s understandable that she wants her family close to her, after everything, but she can’t demand it of them. the same way rosie had to let freddie make the choice for herself whether she wanted to follow him to america, freddie has to let her parents decide, too.

[smile-files]

this might be a hot take... but if you care about disavowing media made by bad people out of fear of looking like a bad person yourself more than you care about actually doing good things... you might have your priorities (and your morals) screwed up a bit :/

(see my tags for more of my thoughts on this topic! please try to avoid making make bad-faith assumptions about what i mean!)

[good-thymes]

˚⊹ᡣ𐭩 Respect ♡ˊˎ-

I haven’t been working with the gods for long, so this probably isn’t my place to say this, but seeing young people on TikTok treat the gods as their bestie after a week and being disrespectful to them makes my blood boil.

“I called Apollo a man-whore and he got mad🤪”

YOU DID WHAT.

OF COURSE HE GOT MAD, WHAT WAS THE THOUGHT BEHIND THIS???

I get it. The Greek gods are quite forgiving and can even be quite funny! I’ve experienced it first hand! Especially Apollon and Hermes are usually in for a joke.

But you can still be respectful.

I am clairvoyant, I can hear the gods, and I am not exaggerating when I tell you at least 5 of them have told me “wow, you are so respectful and speak so politely.” They were not surprised, perse, but they were so appreciative of it.

Of course dynamics can change over time. Things become looser and more chill. Sometimes it becomes paternal, or even loving, and then you can become a little less formal. But you can still. Be. Respectful. There is no reason not to be.

I do not wish to speak for the gods here, so please don’t take it as such, but I expected this to be common sense and it apparently is not.

I’m also very open to hear your thoughts, so feel very free to share them! Especially if you disagree, honestly, I am always open to try and see things from a different perspective!

[rhenuvee]

Modern AU! Diluc who starts making videos on social media to promote the Angel’s Share by showing how he makes drinks- only to take a wrong turn when the comments end up being down bad for him.

This video makes me thirsty, and Im not talking about the drink.

Pls handle me like the cocktail shaker 🙏

Suddenly I have the urge to cook and clean 🛐

In case anyone asks, the drink is blue.

The drink in the video was orange, by the way- he caught on the implication of the commenters distraction very quickly. And worst of all, his brother Kaeya laughing at the whole situation in the comments, not helping at all.

“Listen to this one ‘Luc: ‘Who needs a napkin when I could be cleaning his hands’, drooling emoji.”

Your poor husband, can’t even look you in the eye anymore. His fingers had been pinching the crease between his eyebrows for a while now, a little embarrassed at the totally different response than expected from his audience. He can't believe the viewers are more interested in his forearms than drink making.

“Y-You’re not helping, my love.” He says. He's frustrated at the comments, but can't help the blush when you say something so desperate. You feel a little bad for adding fuel to the fire (secretly giggling along with Kaeya), but it’s tough when you can’t deny the truth in the comments paired with your husband’s cute reaction.

“Perhaps you just need to cover up a little.” You suggest. Yes, he thinks. His next short video has him wearing his long sleeve dress shirt and gloves, instead of rolling up the sleeves. He's got them now, Diluc thinks as he hopes for normal comments.

However, the viewers are quick to find another way to "simp" for your husband (which you had to teach him the meaning of). With his arms covered now, some comments expressed their disappointment. But most focused their attention on the reveal of skin of his neck and the slightest view of his collarbone.

"It's no use." Diluc grumbles after a long day, his head resting on your stomach, defeated. You smile, bringing your hand to comb through his fiery red hair.

"I can't disagree, you do have nice hands." You tease, referring to the previous video's comments. Diluc looks up at you from your stomach with an annoyed expression. "You're too handsome, my love."

Diluc flushes pink when he hears your compliment. You say it quite often, but he'll never get tired of it.

He feels as if there's no solution to this. Wear his wedding ring? People would probably still focus more on his fingers, or create more down bad comments on being married to him. Bring you into the video? He absolutely does not want people to comment on you. Get his father to make the drink instead? No- he remembers the time his father was in two seconds of a past video and caught mortifying comments of the word "Zaddy" being spammed along with a timestamp. It was quickly deleted. He knows the pattern.

"So what will you do, my handsome husband?" You ask, interrupting his train of thought. You calling him handsome twice was enough for him to take a deep breath before composing himself to answer you.

"I'm too tired to handle this anymore." He sighs. "Maybe I'll give this job to Kaeya, offer him free drinks."

"Bold move, but I like it." You reply. Though you can’t help but feel like Kaeya would meet the same fate.

As for the results of Kaeya's efforts, let's just say that free drinks were not enough to help combat the thirsty comments. The good news is, the Angel's Share social media continued to rise in popularity.

[coco-loco-nut]

Oblivious

pairing: Pierre x Reader

summary: sometimes it’s nice to hide in plain sight

masterlist requests open

———————

Maybe it paid off to be two of the more overlooked drivers in the paddock. Good enough to get points and renew your contract when it expires, but not the getting stalked by media level.

Truthfully, you and Pierre never tried to hide your relationship, it was just that no one cared to notice. They never paid attention to when you walked a little too close together, or how you looked at each other differently than the other drivers, or how you spend more time together than you should and shared rides at each other’s home races. Everyone simply assumed you were friends, and never thought of it again.

“Je t’aime, Pierre,” you squeeze his hand before letting go. He walked with you from your car to your motorhome, always wanting to be heard you.

“Je t’aime aussi, mon amour,” he smiles, watching you get into the motorhome safely.

It was finally the last race of the season, and both of you were ready for the winter break. After a smooth race, you jetted off with Charles the return home. Maybe not everyone was oblivious. Charles, Yuki, Daniel, and Lewis know, but that’s because they care enough to actually pay attention.

“I will see you in Greece,” Charles hugs both of you, excited for the next time he will be with you again.

“Can’t wait! I’ve been counting down the days,” you look up at Pierre who has an arm wrapped around you, tiredly smiling at you.

“I have too,” he leans down to quickly kiss you. Charles says one last goodbye before leaving the two of you to your drive home.

The time passes quickly and your wedding arrives. It’s a beautiful ceremony, and incredibly intimate, having only invited close friends and family. The reception, however, was wild. The party lasted last when you and Pierre left, but the videos and photos told stories.

You and Pierre didn’t waste time leaving for your honeymoon, you left the next morning for a month on various Greek islands. Simply enjoying each other and the free time before next season was everything to you.

y/username 🤍 end of a season, start of a lifetime 🤍

charles_leclerc so happy for you

y/username best month of my life

lewis_hamilton white is your color 🤍

y/username thanks lew 🤍

y/nfan the white 🥵

yukitsunoda0511 don’t be shy, post the party pics

pierregasly noooooo 😭

danielricciardo yesssss

y/nfan2 what do these men know 🤨

pierregasly a month to remember 🤍

yukitsunoda0511 how much of the first night do you even remember 😅

y/username not as much as he should 😂

danielricciardo pierre gaslllllyyyyyyyy

charles_leclerc an epic month 👊

alpinef1team admin feels like they are missing something, but hope you had a great trip 🤗

pierregasly we did 😊

user we??????

user so many drivers going to the beach during winter break

Of course, you and Pierre noticed that your relationship flies under the radar, so it is fun for both of you to not be as subtle with things.

“Mon Amour, I was thinking,”

“A dangerous thing,” Pierre smiles, his face inches from yours as you cuddle.

“I want to officially take your last name, like change my Super License. I already did legally, but I want everyone to know,” you tell him, but he just looks a little confused. You are getting tired of people not knowing and being shipped with other drivers.

“I don’t think you should change your Super License. Your accomplishments should be your own, and while I obviously am your biggest supporter, people will equate your successes to me because you share my last name,” Pierre disagrees.

“I know, but we are partners in life and everything we do,” you pout, a little sad he isn’t on board.

“I am proud to have you as my wife, but I don’t want people to think less of you for driving under my last name,” Pierre tries to back himself up but you just stay quiet. You get where he is coming from, but you are prideful.

“What about changing my social media?” you try another route.

“That I can agree to,” he moves his head slightly so he can kiss you. You are content to lay all day in his arms, but you are supposed to meet Charles later that night for a couples vacation to a ski resort. After another hour in bed, you drag yourselves out to get ready to travel.

“Look at that newlywed glow,” Alex hugs you when you board Charles’s jet.

“I call it pos-“ you cut Pierre off with a look that threatens divorce.

“Settle in, we will take of shortly,” Charles changes the topic, handing you a water bottle.

“Where’s my water bottle,” Pierre pouts at his best friend, wrapping an arm around your waist to hug you from behind.

“I like Y/n more,” Charles shrugs with a small grin on his face, causing you to laugh.

“Quit flirting with my wife,” Alex gives Charles a weird look, dragging you away from Pierre so the two of you can catch up.

The trip is amazing, you watch the boys wipe out and have fun before testing starts.

You and Alex are pro skiers, but the same can’t be said for Charles or Pierre. Pierre only fell a couple times, but Charles wiped out probably once a day.

On the last night you sit by the fireplace in your shared cabin, snuggled under a blanket with Alex as the guys finish dinner. Well, Charles is making some pasta dish while Pierre keeps the wine flowing to everyone.

“Sometimes I wish that the season never starts,” you rest your head on Alex’s shoulder, watching the fire burn in front of you.

“The peace that comes with the off season is nice,” she hums, understanding your sentiment.

“There is rarely time for things like this during the season, with Pierre and I both being on different teams, and it isn’t always easy to plan trips with you and Charlie,” you sigh. You love your job, and you have no plans of retirement yet, but the constant travel is demanding.

“Screw Pierre, I’ll be your WAG,” Alex squeezes you as the boys bring in dinner and more wine. You stand up to help them out, taking a couple plates from Charles.

“Mon amour,” Pierre lifts the edge of his fuzzy blanket for you to join him. You happily join him, his warmth enveloping you.

“Charles, this is heavenly,” you groan as you eat the dinner.

“When Ferrari signs you, you can have as much as you want,” Charles winks as you scoff.

“Please, Pierre is -as if not more- likely to rejoin Red Bull than for me to sign with a top team,” you shake you head, feeling Pierre lean away from you a little.

“Uncalled for,” Pierre says, a hint of laughter in his voice.

“She has a point,” Alex says and you turn to her, mock offended.

“Are you saying I’m not a good driver,” you gasp, she looks at Charles, unsure what to do.

“Y/n, you are a great driver, you just were in the wrong development program and are doomed to stay on midfield teams. Pierre, you might’ve chosen the wrong words in support of your wife,” Charles steps in, ending the playful fight.

“I’ll do the dishes while you talk shop, it’s my turn anyway,” Alex says, grabbing various plates from the living room and heading to the kitchen.

“Have you told your teams yet?” Charles asks, smiling to himself as he observes you and Pierre cuddling.

y/username hitting the slopes before testing 🎿🤍

alexandrasaintmleux best couples trip 🤍

user couples trip 🤨

danielricciardo where was my invite???

y/username my wifie, my WAG 🥰

charles_leclerc 🤨 MY WAG, you have your own

user alex and y/n skiing while charles and pierre probably kept falling down

charles_leclerc thanks for not posting the pics of me falling 😅

pierregasly thanks for getting my good side 🤍

y/ngasly every side is your good side 😘

landonorris what-

maxverstappen1 hold up, why’d you just change your username?

carlossainz55 i think we missed something…

lewishamilton you are just now realizing that they are together?

yukitsunoda0511 they literally got married???

pierregasly we never tried to hide it…

y/ngasly y’all are just oblivious af

user wait, they are so cute together, the otp we didn’t know we needed

user agreed, but I’m gonna need a timeline of their relationship

danielricciardo they’ve been together since 2018, engaged last season, married shortly after the end of this season

maxverstappen1 did all of our gossip sessions mean nothing to you???

[fetusgooseandjuice]

Trust Me

Pairing(s): Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: You haven’t been able to sleep in a couple weeks, and Natasha knows just the way to get you to close your eyes.

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: None? (If anyone finds any feel free to message me!)

Author’s Note: Heyy guys! I know I haven’t posted a fic in like 6 months, but I got writers block and it just never really went away. I’m not sure when I’ll post again, but I’ve had the idea for this fic for a while and I finally got the motivation to write it. It might not be that good but I hope you enjoy it at least a little! Think of it as a little Christmas gift :)

Author’s Note Pt. 2: Also, this is not proofread because I just wanted to get it posted so there might be some spelling and grammar errors!

You heavily sighed once again for probably the fifth time in the past five minutes. It’s been a few hours since you and Natasha had called it a night, and yet here you were at nearly three in the morning still lying wide awake.

Although it’s not as if you were surprised or expecting anything else. You’d been having trouble falling asleep since the first night you and Natasha arrived in Norway.

Despite not having gotten many hours of sleep lately, for some reason you still weren’t tired and still could not fall asleep.

When your girlfriend came to you a week and a half ago and told you she had no other choice but to leave the states in order to evade the government after the whole incident between Tony and Steve, you instantly decided you’d be going with her without a second thought and left no room for her to disagree.

After all she should’ve known you’d follow her anywhere, but you guess it’s taken a toll on you.

You wanted to sleep, and yet you weren’t sure what was keeping you up. Maybe you were worried about something happening to Natasha?

‘What if she gets caught? Or what if we both somehow get hurt?’ you thought.

But you knew she was more than capable of taking care of herself and keeping you safe at the same time.

Even with the amount of times you told yourself not to worry, your mind wouldn’t listen.

You eventually sighed and turned your head to look at the redhead behind you. Her arms were wrapped tightly around you and no matter how much she shifted throughout the night, she never let you go.

The mere thought of that would be enough to bring a smile to your face if you weren’t so frustrated with yourself.

Deciding you’d had enough of laying there awake, you carefully unraveled your girlfriend’s arms from around you and slid out of bed.

You almost shivered at the cool temperature of the trailer as your bare feet touched the floor and you made your way into the kitchen.

The random plastic bags on the counter rustled as you rummaged through them in search of something to snack on, finally coming across a bottle of water and a pack of chips you’d never heard of.

As you went to open the cap of the bottle, a pair of arms slipping around your waist startled you. The yelp you let out made the person behind you chuckle, and you relaxed recognizing the sound.

“Sorry, malysh (baby).” Natasha said and you turned to look at her to see the apologetic look she had on her face.

You gave her a slight smile before shaking your head, “It’s okay. But what’re you doing up right now, Nat? You should be asleep, you need to rest.”

She dipped her head down to press multiple kisses to the skin of your neck, “I could ask you the same question because so do you.”

You should’ve known you wouldn’t be able to leave the warmth of your shared bed without her noticing.

“I just couldn’t sleep.” you said, making her eyebrows furrow as you opened your water bottle and took a sip. “But I know you’re still tired so you should go back to bed, I’ll be there soon.”

“No, not without you.” Natasha was quick to disagree, “What’s going on, dorogaya (darlin)? You were yawning quite a bit before we went to bed. Why can’t you sleep?” she rested her chin on your shoulder, ready to listen to what you had to say.

You sighed realizing that you were going to have to have this conversation now. Your shoulders shrugged, “I don’t know.” was all you offered.

Natasha stayed quiet, giving you the floor for when you were ready to add on. A moment later, you did.

“I haven’t really gotten any decent sleep recently, so I’m not sure why I can’t fall asleep or why I’m not tired.”

Your girlfriend pecked your shoulder blade, acknowledging that she heard you.

“How long has this been going on for?” she asked.

For a second you went quiet, not exactly wanting to answer when you remembered that now that she knew, she wasn’t going to let it go until she made it better.

“Since we left the states.” you admitted.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Once again, you shrugged your shoulders, “I didn’t want to worry you.” you said. “You already have a lot on your plate with this whole situation and I didn’t want to add more to it.”

You heard Natasha sigh and now you appreciated that fact that you weren’t standing face to face at the moment.

“I guess I’m thinking too much.” you added. “At night I finally get the time to actually think about stuff, and I worry about you and if you’re going to be okay.”

Natasha was also glad you weren’t standing face to face right now because if you were, you would’ve seen the way her lips pulled into a smile.

“Well if you’re going to worry about me then I think I have every right to worry about you.” she chuckled and you fought back a smile at it.

“I’m sorry.” you said.

She didn’t say anything for a few moments until you heard her soft voice with that hint of rasp speak up.

“Look at me, krasivyy (beautiful).”

You craned your neck to see green eyes which were filled to the brim with love and tenderness staring at you, the singular warm light above the kitchen sink allowing her to see your sad ones.

The frustration that’d been building up in you beginning to melt away ever so slightly.

“I want you to talk to me about what you’re going through.” Natasha spoke. “I don’t care about what you think I might have going on, you’re always my first priority, okay?”

You nodded as she raised a hand to caress your cheek, brushing a hair behind your ear in the process.

“I love you too much to have you worrying that pretty little head of yours all alone when I’m always right here for you.” she pressed her lips to your temple to emphasize her point. “So promise me next time you’ll tell me if somethings wrong?”

“I promise, and I love you too, Nat.”

“Good,” Natasha smiled and leaned in to connect your lips in a loving kiss, pulling away shortly after and leaning her forehead against yours. “I’m going to be okay, so there’s no need to worry. We’re both gonna be okay, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you agreed. You knew Natasha would make sure of that.

“Alright, do you think you’re ready to head back to bed?”

You weren’t sure how to answer that. Even though you were relieved Natasha knew now and you talked about it, you still weren’t even close to being able to go to sleep.

“No,” you spoke quietly. “I’m still not really tired, and I honestly don’t know if I will be until this all blows over.”

Natasha went silent for a few moments, thinking. She turned you around to face her and moved your arms to wrap around her shoulders.

“Nat, what are you—”

“Shhh,” she interrupted your sentence, “Just trust me.”

So you did.

Her arms snaked back around your waist and pulled you into her. You weren’t exactly sure what she was doing until she began swaying with you from one side to the other.

You’d danced together before, but at Tony’s many parties. Not when you were trying to make yourself fall asleep.

“Nat, I don’t think—”

“You’re supposed to be trusting me. Do you not?”

“I do, but—”

“So shhh,” she said and you couldn’t help the little giggle you let out. “You said you were thinking too much, right?”

“Yeah.” you confirmed.

“So just relax and let me do all the thinking. I don’t want you to worry about anything except trusting me.”

“Okay.” you whispered, giving in and resting your cheek on her shoulder, allowing her to move you.

A few seconds later Natasha began humming. It wasn’t a song that you knew, but you recognized it as one of the many Russian lullabies she’s hummed and sometimes sang to you before.

The way she hummed them always made you feel relaxed and peace, and this time was no different. Because soon you started to lean into her more as you became more and more weary.

Your heavy eyelids fell shut and your head found security in her neck as you cuddled closer to it, happily letting her comforting scent soothe you.

After a couple of songs, Natasha finally looked at you to find you pretty much sound asleep.

She grinned to herself and pecked your head before lifting you into her arms, making her way back to your bedroom.

“Told you to trust me.”

~ end ~

[sserpente]

The Weight of a Promise - Part II

Synopsis: One month has passed since you reluctantly became Lord Gortash's concubine. You ought to hate him--yet your heart seems to disagree.

A/N: When inspiration strikes…you gotta strike back! Took a bit longer than I expected but here we go! :D

You can read Part I here!

Words: 2523 Warnings: violence, blood, mentions of prostitution, concubine!Reader

“Good morning, dear. I take it you’ve had sweet dreams?”

You stirred, eyes flying open. You were warm, and comfortable. Cosy. Your head was resting on Gortash’s naked chest, his right arm pressing you close against his body. You had gotten so used to his presence and the intimacy between you that you didn’t even flinch away when his fingertips ghosted over your bare shoulder but instead…took relish in it.

“Morning…”

One whole month. You had been keeping an eye on the calendar on Gortash’s desk. You were surprised, to say the least. Part of you had suspected he would grow tired of you after a few days and move on to the next whore he’d be given for free. Perhaps one that would throw herself at him.

Alas, as much as you hated to admit it, you had begun to enjoy his company. Enver Gortash was as insufferable as he was megalomaniacal. But he was charming, too. No wonder the city gladly accepted him as its hero and saviour.

His mask was perfect. You very much doubted he truly did have a heart for the homeless and the poor though. Only yesterday had you overheard him talk about increasing the tax rates for small businesses for more profit to put into his Steel Watch. Now that you spent so much time with him, you would have believed his chivalry too had you not known the truth. A good man did not keep concubines, not like this. A good man did not have rumours spread about him worshipping one of the dead three.

And yet, despite everything, part of you was growing…grateful. He’d kept his promise. Thanks to him, you barely remembered what hunger was now. He had gotten you so many dresses you could never decide what to wear and every night, you shared his bed, warm and comfortable, nestled underneath his soft sheets.

The sex was phenomenal, of course. Just like the very first time he had claimed you, you would be lying if you insisted it wasn’t a pleasurable experience for you. Only it was empty, meaningless. Why else would he keep you around if not for a wet hole to fuck when he was overcome with lust?

The more time you were forced to spend with him, the more you realised that you wanted him to like you for more than your body. To know that you were more than an object for him to play with and entertain himself with and to convince yourself and your stupid feelings that he was not the villain you took him for. To soothe your own conscience.

It could be Stockholm Syndrome, you thought, chewing on your lower lip. But then again, he had told you that you were free to go the very day you arrived, made it seem like it had been your own choice to become a slave to his most carnal desires in exchange for your basic human needs to be met.

The mornings all started the same. You and Gortash had breakfast together, after that he tended to his archduke business and you remained in bed for a while longer, reading the books he owned. He’d call you over at some point, eager for your company—or your body.

As of right now, he was finished with his duties for the day. After a rich lunch, he’d insisted on taking a walk with you by the sea near Wyrm’s Rock to take his mind off things, a Steel Watcher always in close vicinity to protect him.

“You are not focusing at all, are you, dear? Could you at least put in a little bit of effort? Make it a challenge for me!”

You blinked. You’d been staring at the lance board for what must have been several minutes with your knees tucked and your chin resting between them. Gortash had insisted you played with him tonight. Only you had no idea how.

“I don’t know how to play,” you admitted.

Amusement flashed over Gortash’s handsome face. “You don’t know how to play lance board? Truly?”

You shook your head.

He took a deep breath. “Well, in that case…it is rather simple. There are six pieces in the game that—”

“Why did you increase the tax rates?” You couldn’t help it. The question left your lips before you could stop yourself. You were curious.

Gortash paused, momentary surprise marking his features. “And since when exactly, pray tell, do I discuss political matters with my concubine?”

“It’s just a question. I overheard you passing the bill.”

“You mean you were eavesdropping.”

You frowned. “You knew I was right there.”

“Ah, yes.” He chuckled. But then, nothing.

“So?”

“Protection is expensive, my dear. My Steel Watch requires constant maintenance. Maintenance that requires materials. Materials that cost money.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“Pardon me?”

“I’ve seen the documents. You have two vaults at the Counting House. Two vaults that are bulging with gold.” You’d caught a glimpse at the numbers, black ink on a fresh roll of parchment one morning while he’d made you keep his cock warm for him at his desk. You swallowed. “If you truly had the city’s best interest at heart you would be reaching into your own pockets to help out. That is true charity.”

Gortash raised an eyebrow. He appeared amused, if anything. “I am giving the citizens of Baldur’s Gate a purpose. By contributing in the form of taxes, they are contributing to keeping the city and themselves safe. And unlike my own fortunes, tax money is in constant circulation.”

You scoffed. “If that’s what you need to tell yourself.”

“I will not have you criticize my rule, my dear. Were you a lady or an adviser of mine, I could have your head for this without anyone batting an eyelash.”

Too far. You swallowed. So much for trying to convince yourself he was not a villain. “I apologise.”

“Good. Now, as I said. There are six types of pieces in the game. The first—”

Gortash was interrupted yet again. This time, however, by an airborne knife knocking the piece he pointed to straight to the ground where it shattered into a dozen pieces.

“Playing with your whore instead of working? You disappoint me, lordling.”

Gortash stiffened visibly. “Orin.”

Your eyes widened when you turned to face the unwanted visitor. She was as pale as the moon itself, with white creamy eyes piercing your soul. And her clothes…where they made of…skin? She staggered closer on bare feet, retrieving her dagger.

“You’ll find I have made much progress with our operation. But unlike you, I am a man of true entertainment. Uninterrupted murder is not up my alley.”

You blinked. Murder? What in the hells was he talking about?

“You are losing your focus, lordling. Do you need a reminder?”

Before you had processed what was happening, Orin grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled you flush against her. The smell of rotten meat and blood filled your nostrils, the blade of her dagger pressing into your skin. Her hands were ice-cold.

You gasped for air, paralysed. You willed your legs to kick her, your fingers to scratch her, your head to shatter her chin…but your body did not obey. Fear wrapped its icy claws around you, preventing you from taking action.

One wrong movement…and you would die. Your eyes found Gortash’s, yours pleading, begging. Surely, he would not let her harm you, surely, he would care if you lived after having shared the bed with him so many times…

“Now don’t be ridiculous, Orin. She’s my concubine. The only thing you will accomplish by killing her is making a mess of my office. I can always get a new one at the snap of my fingers.”

Your face fell, heart skipping several beats in a row. Not because of your fear now—but because it broke. Your lips parted. Was that truly how he felt after you’d spread your legs for him, listened to his sorrows, and kept him company? He’d promised to treat you well. Discarding you to the first bloodthirsty killer—whoever this Orin was—would break that promise after all.

“Well…then you won’t mind if I slit her throat? Bathe in her sweet blood and feast on her intestines? Would you still like to fuck her then, lordling?”

For just a second, you believed to catch a glimpse of actual panic glistening in his dark eyes. It was a fleeting moment, quickly replaced by a mask of steel.

“Orin, no, stop it!”

The woman laughed, the stench of stale blood almost making you gag as she pressed the blade even further against your delicate skin until you could feel a slight burn and something warm and sticky running down your throat.

“Orin!” You had not imagined it. There was panic swinging in his voice too now.

With a start, she removed her dagger from your throat and pushed you. You landed on your hands and knees on the hard stone floor, a pained cry escaping your lips due to the impact.

“With Ketheric Thorm dead, you should be on your guard, lordling. Because right now, your little plan is falling apart. And I am so very eager to spill blood in your chambers.”

“Control yourself, Orin. Ketheric’s death is a temporary setback. Once the Netherstone is back in our possession, we have nothing to fear and everything will go according to plan.”

You felt pathetic, cowering on the cold floor and listening to the conversation. You only understood half of what they were saying. Netherstones? What plan? And who was Ketheric Thorm?

“I will gut you if not, Gortash.” She disappeared in a mist of black and red as if her flesh erupted into a million pieces before evaporating.

Only now did you realise how heavily you were breathing. Gortash bent down, one of his hands resting on your shoulder.

“Are you alright?”

“No! No, I’m not alright!” you exclaimed, biting back a sob.

“You would have let her kill me!”

“I would not.”

“Yes! That’s what you said!” Another sob, one you were unable to hold back. You were trembling. You could feel a small trickle of blood running down your cleavage right between your breasts.

Gortash grabbed a hold of your chin, forcing you to look at him. “Showing her I care for you would have been showing her weakness and that I cannot afford. I apologise you were caught between the lines.”

Care.

“How am I supposed to believe that? Am I not a means to an end? You keep acting like I should be grateful you took me in and gave me a roof over my head in exchange for sex and now I almost…” You did not dare finish the thought. Died.

“You stupid girl. Do you truly think I would keep just any woman around my private quarters where I conduct important city business? Do you think I would share my private bed with just any prostitute?”

“I…I…” You hesitated. He was not wrong.

“I am not the kind of man to pursue, my dear. I learned the hard way you simply have to take what you want in life. I liked you. So I had you brought here.”

“Why didn’t you just say so? Why must everything you do be a power trip?”

“A power trip? Exercising dominance is crucial to survive in this world. I want you here, by my side. Is that not enough? What else do you want me to tell you?”

He helped you up, retrieving a cloth from the cupboard next to a wash bowl. The gentleness with which he wiped at your throat and your chest to clean the blood off of you surprised you so much yet another sob escaped you.

“I…I want you to tell me…you care about me? I’m not just a whore you can easily replace?”

“I don’t want any of the other whores. I wanted you. And I still do. I have no reason to lie to you, my dear. And you care about me too. I can see it in your eyes. You like the things we do together. Am I right?”

You nodded, unable to utter words for a moment.

“I hate myself for it.”

“Oh? And why is that, my dear?”

“You’re not a good person, Gortash. I can see that. I can feel it with every fibre of my being.”

“But…?”

“But…”

He threw the cloth away and cupped your face, planting a tender kiss on your lips.

“I wouldn’t have stayed if I didn’t…”

He smirked. He understood.

“I will have some servants fetched to run you a hot bath. I have some business to attend to. Then I will join you.”

“Gortash?”

“No.” He lifted a hand, a thoughtful expression decorating his handsome features for a moment. “I want you to call me by my first name when we’re in private. Enver.”

You frowned, lips parting in shock. The archduke of Baldur’s Gate wanted you to…call him by his first name?

“Enver.” You tasted the name on your tongue. It felt strange and yet…oddly familiar.

“That’s better.”

“Who is Orin? And don’t even think about telling me it doesn’t concern me given she just almost killed me.”

Gortash sighed. “She is…the Chosen of Bhaal, the god of murder and a reluctant ally of mine.”

Your eyes widened, shock rippling through you. Bhaal? The god of murder? One of the dead three?

“And who is…was…Ketheric Thorm?”

“The Chosen of Myrkul, a general who ruled over the Shadow Cursed Lands. Another reluctant ally.” Myrkul. He too was one of the dead three. The rumours you had heard about Gortash… Could that possibly mean…

“Go-…Enver…what deity do you worship?”

He smiled at you wickedly. “You have a sharp mind indeed, my dear. You might just be able to best me in a game of lance board in time.”

“Tell me what deity you worship.”

“You already know, do you not? You have asked me before, when we first met. And I am indeed, my dear, the Chosen of Bane. I will lead this city to glory.”

You took a step back, shock spreading in your veins like spiked vines. “What is this plan? What are the Netherstones?”

“That’s enough questions for now. Go and rest. The servants will be with you shortly.” He strode off, yet before he wrapped his hands around the doorknob, he turned his head and said, “Let me say it again: You belong by my side now, my dear. You have my protection. You have nothing to fear from me—or Orin, I will make sure of that. You might not agree with my methods but you cannot fight your own heart. You can trust me.”

With that, he was gone. Another promise. One that the growing butterflies in your stomach hoped he would never break. You belong by my side now, my dear.

You could leave, he had said a month ago. You should leave. Instead, you found yourself heading over to the wooden tub get rid of your now bloody dress.

[shixcherie]

Who’s Gonna Tell Her ? | Kim Hongjoong ☆

~ ~ call me chérie ☆

Navigation | Kinktober List

☆Day 24 : Virginity loss

↬ [ Synopsis ] : After a grand festival, a blissful night of Phoenix Kingdom’s rice wine, and sweet encounters with Prince Hongjoong, will you, the Dragon Princess, be able to resist him or will you surrender completely as he takes your innocence? Is this the end, or are wedding bells about to ring?

☆Word Count : 5.07k ☆Genre : Smut, Angst, a long plot, Historical Au. ☆Pairing : Prince! Hongjoong x Princess! F.Reader

☆☆☆WARNINGS : mdni!, Pure smut(18+), with some plot, Historical setting, pretty descriptive settings, virginity loss, neck kisses and bites, nipple play, fingering (fem recieving), unprotected sex (be responsible honey), both Hongjoong and y/n's kingdoms are close friends, mentions of alcohol, fluff at the end, romance.

NOTE : Day 24 is here for you as well. I am grinding hard to catch up because I was busy with exams so now I am working hard to finish this kinktober on time.

This story began when I was watching The Apothecary Diaries, so the setting is inspired by the show. A royal backdrop is new territory for me, so please forgive any mistakes as I try to immerse you in the Phoenix Kingdom and its grandeur.

Also, I’m officially declaring Ryujin as my best friend 😁🥺—she’ll be making an appearance as Y/N's bestie in every fic (fight me if you disagree)!

And one more note: I’m writing a virginity loss kink for the first time, so I aimed to portray it respectfully for both characters. Any rookie mistakes, feel free to enlighten me in DMs or comments!

"Y/n, who are you most excited to meet at this banquet ?" your twin brother Felix nudged as your carriage neared the Phoenix Kingdom. Your Dragon Kingdom, one of the Phoenix Kingdom's oldest allies, had maintained close ties for years and was always invited to the extravagant event the Firebird Kingdom held each year.

The Rising Fire Festival was a grand celebration hosted annually by Phoenix Emperor Seonghwa to commemorate a successful year. He invited friends and close acquaintances, including your brother, Emperor Bangchan.

“I’m excited to meet everyone, Felix. Why are you asking that specifically, though ?” You narrowed your eyes at your twin playfully. “I’m excited to see Prince Wooyoung and my best friend Princess Ryujin from the Tiger Kingdom, and also Princess Yeji from the Crane Kingdom as well. So, there are a lot of friends I’m looking forward to meeting.”

“What about Prince Hongjoong ? Aren’t you excited to see him ?” Felix teased, knowing about your tiny crush on the Phoenix prince.

“Oh, yeah! He’s going to be there as well, right… I’m looking forward to seeing him, too. It’s been a while.” you replied, trying to stay composed and not fall for Felix’s teasing, though your face betrayed you as a red blush crept up your cheeks.

“Yeah, yeah, sure… who are you kidding ?” Felix continued to tease. “Just don’t jump into his arms when you see him.”

As the redness on your cheeks intensified, you shot back, “Shut up, Felix. I hope Princess Lia ignores you the whole evening. That’ll be enough to punish you for teasing me.” you teased, reminding him of his fiancée, whom he was set to marry in a few months. Felix pouted at you.

You wished for the ride to end soon, eager to escape your irritating twin, while Hongjoong’s face crossed your mind, bringing a smile to your lips. You really couldn’t wait to see him.

The alliance between the Dragons and Phoenixes spanned decades, beginning when your father and Seonghwa’s father were close friends, sharing resources and enjoying hunts together. Seonghwa and Bangchan had continued the friendship, maintaining a close political bond and sharing resources.

The carriage finally came to a halt, pulling you from your thoughts as you looked out the small window and took in the grandeur of the Phoenix Kingdom. A footman helped you and Felix out of the carriage, and as your eyes sparkled at the breathtaking scene before you, you saw Felix mirroring your expression.

The “Rising Fire” festival of the Phoenix Kingdom glowed with splendor unlike any other. The palace grounds had been transformed, each corner adorned with golden lanterns and flowers in fiery hues, symbolizing the warmth and power of the Phoenix King, Emperor Seonghwa. This grand event gathered royals from allied kingdoms, each arriving to pay their respects and express gratitude to the ruler of the Phoenix Kingdom.

As you and your brothers entered the vast palace courtyard, you couldn’t help but marvel at the beauty surrounding you. Your elder brother, Emperor Bangchan, walked proudly in the center, his dignified presence impossible to ignore, while your twin brother Felix, on his other side, wore a sweet grin, his eyes darting around to take in the sights while also looking for his fiancée, Princess Lia. The royal guards, dressed in red and gold armor emblazoned with phoenixes, bowed deeply as your party approached, adding to the already festive atmosphere.

Inside, the grand banquet hall was bustling with nobles and royals, all dressed in their finest attire. Towering red pillars carved with phoenix motifs seemed to dance in the flickering candlelight, while golden banners embroidered with images of mythical creatures soaring through flames served as tributes to Seonghwa and the powerful lineage he represented.

Emperor Seonghwa shone like a true Phoenix in his richly embroidered attire, his captivating smile greeting everyone with warmth. You and your brothers went ahead to greet him, though your gaze drifted toward his younger brother, Prince Hongjoong, who was nearby, keeping a group of princesses entertained.

A tiny spark of jealousy glinted in your eyes as Felix noticed and snickered, drawing your attention back to what Seonghwa and your brother were discussing.

Hongjoong, dressed in deep red robes embroidered with gold and black phoenixes, was the picture of royal elegance. His eyes sparkled with a mischievous glint as he greeted each guest, an ease only years of practice could give. Girls whispered and giggled like admirers as he passed, casting flirtatious glances his way. While respected for his loyalty to the Phoenix Kingdom, Hongjoong had a reputation for enjoying the luxuries of royal life, including the attention of many his admirers.

When his gaze finally met yours, he politely excused himself and made his way toward you. Seeing him approach, you quickly excused yourself, grabbing Felix to head toward the food area where your other friends were. You needed Ryujin to hype you up before facing Hongjoong.

“Y/n! Over here!” Your best friend, Princess Ryujin, called from the drinks section. You spotted Wooyoung next to her, deep in conversation with Yeji and Lia, while stuffing his face with food. Typical Prince Woo. Felix’s eyes lit up as he spotted Lia in her beautiful attire, and with that, he left your side to greet her.

“Ryujin!” You hugged her, whispering, “Save me, please. Hongjoong is coming this way.” Ryujin chuckled at your cry for help but nodded, as you smoothed your dress, greeting Wooyoung and Yeji while anticipating Hongjoong’s arrival.

From the corner of your eye, you saw him greet your brother before heading toward your group, his strides confident and relaxed, a smile growing on his face as he approached. Greeting each of your friends, he finally turned to you. You exchanged a nervous look with Ryujin, who responded with a cheerful grin.

Hongjoong’s gaze lingered on you with a hint of something more than polite curiosity, his eyes sweeping over you appreciatively. "The Dragon Empire's beauty is not just in its landscapes, it seems. You look beautiful, Princess Y/n." he said with a smirk, letting his gaze drop to admire your attire. Your gown was a deep, shimmering emerald with golden accents featured intricate dragon embroidery symbolic of your empire, with scales that seemed to shine in the candlelight. "You wear your heritage with elegance, Princess. It suits you perfectly."

“Thank you, Prince Hongjoong,” you replied politely, bowing slightly to the young prince.

“I hope our celebration has been as enchanting as you expected, Princess,” he continued, his tone dropping slightly, just enough for you to notice. “The Phoenix Kingdom holds this celebration every year to remind us all of our alliances and shared prosperity.”

You met his eyes, feeling a thrilling spark. "It certainly lives up to its reputation," you replied, smiling. “The Phoenix Kingdom is beautiful, and the hospitality here is… unforgettable.”

“Then I am glad,” Hongjoong replied, his smile deepening. “Perhaps I can make it even more memorable for you, if you’ll allow me.”

Felix chuckled softly beside you, exchanging a knowing glance with Ryujin and the others.

“Perhaps our Dragon Princess would enjoy a dance. I heard you’re a great dancer, Prince Hongjoong,” Ryujin teased, her eyes flicking between you and Hongjoong as everyone awaited his response.

As musicians began to play an elegant melody, Hongjoong offered a cheerful, pearly smile and extended his hand. “Whatever the princess wishes, the princess shall have,” he said warmly. “Would you join me for a dance, Princess ?”

Accepting gracefully, you took his hand and stepped onto the dance floor, while your friends stepped back, leaving you and Hongjoong to the moment. The night air was thick with the scent of sandalwood incense and plum wine, the celebratory atmosphere almost intoxicating as you immeresed yourself in the beautiful moment.

Your heart skipped a beat as your bodies moved to the soft melody, your hand resting in his soft yet firm grasp. All eyes turned to watch as the two of you glided together. It felt as though every step brought you closer, both in movement and spirit.

The celebration continued around you, filled with laughter and joy, yet in that moment, it felt as if you and Hongjoong were the only two in the room. The flickering lanterns cast golden shadows across his face, highlighting his dark eyes and the slight smile playing on his lips.

Leaning in close, he murmured, “You may find that there’s much more to the Phoenix Kingdom than what meets the eye, Princess. It’s changed quite a bit since you and your friends last visited.”

You glanced up, warmth spreading within you. “I look forward to discovering everything it has to offer, Prince Hongjoong.”

“Perhaps we could all enjoy some quiet time in the gardens once the party ends. We could reminisce over a few drinks like old times. Do you remember when we used to play together in the gardens as kids ?”

“I do,” you replied, holding his gaze as a beautiful smile crossed your lips. “And I’d love a chance to wind down after all this excitement.”

As the night deepened, the celebrations spilled over into the cherry blossom gardens, where you, Felix, Hongjoong, Wooyoung, Ryujin, Lia, and Yeji found a cozy spot beneath the canopy of plum trees. The soft glow of the nearby lanterns cast a warm light over your small group as laughter and clinking cups filled the cool night air.

Hongjoong had brought out several bottles of the Phoenix Kingdom’s finest rice wine, smooth and sweet, and as each of you raised your cups in endless toasts to family, friendship, and adventures, the hours began to blur while the night enveloped you and your friends.

Felix was in rare form, laughing heartily as he exchanged stories with Wooyoung, who matched him drink for drink. Ryujin, Lia, and Yeji joined in on the fun, each sharing mischievous grins and occasionally teasing you, which made you all laugh even harder.

The conversation flowed easily, and so did the wine, the scent of which mingled with the night air. Inhibitions slipped away as the night wore on, and with Hongjoong’s shoulder brushing against yours every now and then, butterflies rumbled in your stomach too hard to ignore.

You lost track of how many times Prince Wooyoung and Felix refilled your cup. The night turned into a beautiful blend of laughter and music. It all felt like a dream with Hongjoong beside you, his hand resting on yours, fingers grazing over your knuckles. It sent a thrill through you, though you were too lightheaded to think clearly under the influence of the wine.

Everything started spinning around, and you wanted to lay down, so you attempted to stand up in order to leave for your room.

“Y/n, sis, sit down. You will fall.” Felix tried to stop you, dragging you by your hand to make you sit.

“I want to lay down, Lix.” you said, using the nickname you only employed when you were too tipsy. “I want to go to my chambers.” You started to leave when Hongjoong stood up as well, smoothing his outfit.

“Don’t worry, Prince Felix. I will show her to her chambers safely. I am feeling sober.” he assured your twin before taking your hand with one while his other hand held your waist.

When you finally stumbled back to your room, memories of the night floated through your mind in fragments, but one memory felt clear, too vivid to ignore. In it, Hongjoong was close, his touch warm and possessive, as if he were holding onto something that already belonged to him. The memory left you feeling breathless, heat still lingering as you drifted into a deep sleep.

The next morning, you awoke disoriented and drained, your head throbbing with ache, all thanks to the uncountable glasses of wine you had drunk. Something felt different, but you couldn’t put your finger on exactly what had happened. You rubbed your temples, trying to piece together the foggy memories of last night but miserably failed to do so.

As you slowly gathered yourself, a memory emerged in your mind with faint clarity. A dream that suddenly made you feel hot all over.

The dream of Hongjoong. A dream of his touch, his hot breath against your skin, the feeling of surrendering to him entirely. It had felt so real, the sensation still lingering as if it were more than just a dirty play of your imagination. Something felt lost, but you couldn’t figure out what while it ached all over your body.

But surely, it was just a dream... a wet dream at that… right… wasn’t it?

Pushing the thoughts away, you took a long bath and dressed up to join everyone for breakfast in the garden. Everyone else acted normally, and as you joined Felix and Bangchan at the table, you noticed how your brothers and the others exchanged careful glances. They wore pleasant smiles, but you could sense something unspoken between them, a cautiousness in their words around you.

Ryujin, usually one to joke with you about anything, seemed unusually silent and almost… reserved. It felt as if there was a secret flying around in the air, one that you weren’t aware of yet. Though you brushed it off as a drunk night of chaos, an unsettling feeling settled in your stomach.

Three more days passed, and the Phoenix Kingdom’s celebration continued in a grand crescendo, yet you couldn’t shake the sensation. Every day confirmed your doubt that everyone around you was hiding something.

You noticed the subtle glances Hongjoong gave you whenever you crossed paths, they were soft, with something deeper behind them...almost an apology. But he never approached you after that night, as if someone had put up a restraining order against him talking to you. He would excuse himself whenever you were in the vicinity, not sitting next to you while eating. His behavior had taken a 180, and all of this was hurting you while suspicion clouded your mind.

The others’ reactions only confirmed your suspicion that something had happened. Felix and Bangchan were more protective than usual, their attempts at behaving normally now filled with discomfort, as if they, too, were concealing a secret. The words they exchanged about you whenever someone talked about your marriage were extra cautious, stacking up with compliments and creating white lies about your skills and personality. Why were they doing this? You had no idea. But it did feel uncomfortable seeing your brothers act this way.

On the fifth evening of your visit, you wandered through the palace gardens, seeking some quiet alone time among the cherry blooms as you enjoyed the sunset, basking in its warm rays. The gardens had become your place of calm as your discomfort only grew from the unusual behavior of your friends and brothers. You let your mind drift over memories of that night.

And then, like a tidal wave crashing into you, the memories hit, sharp and extremely clear. Flashes of sensation returned: the warmth of Hongjoong’s hands against your skin, the intensity in his eyes, the feeling of giving yourself to him. Everything rushed back, overwhelming you with clarity.

It hadn’t been just a dream. You remembered now, each detail too vivid to deny as the truth sank in. That night, you had surrendered to him entirely, your virginity lost not in some wet and dirty dream but to the man who had held your hand as he returned you safely to your chambers, the man you had feelings for, which you had covered up as a simple crush in front of your brother Felix. You had lost your virginity to the man of your dreams.

~ the wild night ~

You stumbled, your balance wavering as you tried to navigate the dimly lit corridor. Hongjoong, partly sober himself, held you steady, guiding you to your chambers with a firm grip on your arm and waist. You felt a rush of warmth spread through you at his touch as you made your way back to your room, the air thick with the unspoken tension of the evening’s dance, light yet open moments, and his playful touches that almost pushed you to do something impulsive.

As you reached your chambers, a sudden surge of boldness overcame you. Without thinking, you pulled Hongjoong into a deep kiss. His surprise quickly turned into reciprocation, and before you knew it, he was pushing you gently back into the room, the door clicking shut behind you.

The moment the door clicked into place, an electric tension filled the air with unspoken desires. His eyes darkened, filled with a mix of surprise and hunger, as he pressed you against the cool wood. You could feel his warmth radiating against your body, every inch of you igniting under his touch.

As the kiss deepened, his hands tangled in your hair, holding you captive while his other hand slipped around your waist, pulling you closer. The world outside faded away, and all that remained was the taste of him—sweet, intoxicating, and utterly addictive. Your heart racing in sync with the wild pulse of the moment as each kiss ignited a fire within you, urging you to explore and surrender to the heat building between you.

He broke the kiss, breathless, and looked at you with a smirk. “You know how long I’ve been waiting for this ?” he murmured softly, brushing his lips along your jaw.

A smile tugged at your lips as you replied softly, “Maybe not as long as I have.”

His breath came in ragged gasps, and you could sense the same desire mirrored in his gaze and in his fiery urgency to have you right then and there.

The world outside faded away as the room began to fill with your soft moans as his lips traveled from yours to the soft skin of your neck. Each kiss sent shivers down your spine, igniting a fire within you that demanded more. The heat of the moment enveloped you both, and in a frenzy, you began to undress, fingers fumbling as clothes fell to the floor.

His hands moved hungrily over your body, exploring every curve as he peeled away the layers of your body. A low growl escaped his throat when he caught sight of your bare skin, his eyes darkening with desire. You felt bold, a rush of confidence coursing through you as you returned his passion with equal fire.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, his voice rough with admiration.

You felt a flush creep up your cheeks, looking away for a moment before meeting his gaze. “You make me feel that way.”

With a tender yet urgent motion, Hongjoong lifted you effortlessly, carrying you to the bed. He set you down gently, but the intensity of his gaze held a promise of something much more. As he worshipped your body with his lips kissing a path down your chest, igniting a fire with each kiss. When he reached your nipples, his mouth took your soft breast, swirling and teasing, drawing soft moans from your lips. You could feel the heat radiating between you, his eyes dark with desire, mirroring the need that made your core ache while dripping and begging to be attended.

“You taste as good as you look,” he murmured against your skin, his eyes lifting to meet yours, sparking with heat.

Your breath caught as you replied, “Then don’t stop.”

Every flick of his tongue sent waves of pleasure coursing through you, and you gasped, arching your back instinctively, wanting more. Hongjoong’s hands explored your sides, fingers tracing the delicate curve of your waist as he savored every inch of you. The air was thick with tension, your breaths mingling as he reveled in the power he held over you, and you could see the raw hunger in his eyes. Each suck on your sensitive buds made you ache for him, a desperate need building down south.

When his mouth found its way lower to your dripping core, the sensations became even more overwhelming. His fingers slipped between your thighs, teasing and prepping your core as his tongue danced expertly between your folds. Each flick and swirl sent electric jolts of pleasure coursing through your body,pushing you closer to the edge with every sensual lick.

He pulled back just for a moment, smirking up at you. “You’re perfect, you know that?” he whispered, his words fueling the fire within you.

Flushed and breathless, you looked down at him, a playful smile tugging at your lips. “Then don’t stop now.”

As he devoured you, his fingers plunged into your ass igniting a new wave of ecstasy. The combination of his warm mouth and skilled fingers moving intensely inside your asshole brought you closer to the brink, each thrust and swirl sending you spiraling into blissful oblivion. You whimpered beneath him, gasping for breath as waves of pleasure crashed over you, nobody had ever made you feel like this. Nothing ever had felt this good. The bliss that Hongjoong brought to you made you wonder in you are willing to loose your virginity to him.

The world around you began to blur, and all that existed was the electric connection between you and Hongjoong. Just when you thought you couldn’t take anymore, he pulled back, his eyes dark with desire.

“I want you,” he murmured, his voice deep and gravelly as you nodded at him giving your approval. With that, he positioned himself at your entrance, his gaze locking onto yours. You felt a rush of vulnerability as he entered you, the realization hitting him that you were still a virgin. But the way you whimpered beneath him, your hands pulling him closer by the neck deeper into you, ignited a primal urge within him.

His signature smile remained as his eyes held yours, and you gripped his shoulders as his tip pushed through your walls, stretching you exquisitely as he finally bottomed out. He paused, letting you adjust to his length. You gasped, nodding for him to continue, and the way you begged beneath him, urging him to go deeper, drove him wild.

With your permission, Hongjoong began to move, each thrust slow but steady, reaching deep, hitting that perfect spot.. Your vision fogged up as stars shined while your body was consumed with pleasure as he drove into you, his pace intensifying, while his lips found yours again. With every thrust, he pushed you closer to the edge, and you could feel the climax building, waiting to erupt like a angry volcano.

“You’re incredible,” he whispered against your lips, his gaze filled with awe.

Hongjoong’s pace quickened, his thrusts growing deeper, each one hitting that just spot inside you.His lips pressed against yours, swallowing your gasps as the pressure built up fast, and each movement pushed you until you couldn’t hold back anymore. It was a blend of sweet agony and euphoric pleasure as he pounded into you with intense hunger and lust. You felt yourself losing your virginity to him, each thrust erasing any remnants of your innocence.

Your hands gripped his shoulders tightly, fingers digging into him as the building tension finally snapped, as you melted around him, your body coming undone as waves of pleaure washed over you. You came hard around his cock , pleasure consuming you completely as you clenched around him, your body trembling in his arms. Hongjoong’s name slipped from your lips, mingling with the breathless moans he drew out of you, his hips never faltering as he rode you through the high.

The night became a blur of pleasure, each moment more intoxicating than the last. You were lost in a sea of sensation, your moans mingling with his deep groans as you surrendered completely to the wild passion of the night.

~ ~

You stumbled, catching yourself on a stone bench as the truth sank in. A mix of embarrassment, confusion, and something deeper washed over you. Now everything finally made sense—why everyone was behaving so cautiously around you. From your brothers to your best friend Ryujin, everyone.

Do they all know? Does Hongjoong remember the night? If so, why is he suddenly avoiding you? Do your brothers know? Is Emperor Seonghwa aware of it as well?

To be honest, you didn’t regret losing your virginity to Hongjoong, especially since you had dreamed of marrying him in the future. Given your kingdom’s close alliances, that possibility felt within reach. However, you couldn't shake the worry about what was running through Hongjoong’s mind.

“Y/N! Why are you here all alone?” Ryujin’s voice pulled you back to reality.

“Ryujin, I’ve done something terrible, something a princess should never indulge in,” you confessed, your heart racing. “I lost my virginity to Prince Hongjoong.”

“I know,” she replied softly, a hint of understanding in her eyes. “We all know, Y/N. The maid found you both in your chamber… naked.” Her hand gently caressed your back, offering comfort.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me? And why is Hongjoong avoiding me now? Does he regret that night?” You felt the weight of your confusion pressing down on you.

“We wanted to give you time to process everything. Emperor Seonghwa instructed Hongjoong to keep his distance until you remembered the night, so he wouldn’t risk hurting you. Plus, he wanted to protect the decade-long friendship with your brother,” she explained.

Suddenly, everything began to click into place.

With that information, you dashed through the corridors, your heart racing as you made your way to Felix's room. Throwing open the door, you found Emperor Seonghwa, Bangchan, Felix, your mom, and dad all deep in discussion. The atmosphere shifted as they turned to you, surprise washing over their faces.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” Felix asked, concern knitting his brows together as he stood up to reach you.

You hesitated, the weight of your revelation heavy on your chest. “I, um… I need to tell you something important,” you stammered, your voice shaking. “I… I might have… lost my virginity to Prince Hongjoong.”

A profound silence enveloped the room, your confession hanging in the air. To your astonishment, they exchanged knowing glances before Seonghwa spoke.

“We already knew,” Seonghwa said gently, a hint of warmth in his eyes. “And we support you both. My brother wants to marry you, Princess Y/N.”

“What?” you gasped, your heart racing. “But… why? Is it out of pity? I don’t want him to feel obligated.”

Bangchan stepped forward, his expression earnest. “It’s not pity, Y/N. He genuinely cares for you. We all believe he’s serious about his feelings.”

Your mother chimed in, her voice soft yet reassuring. “This isn’t just a whim for him. Hongjoong sees a future with you, and he’s willing to stand by you through everything.”

“But what if it’s just because of the situation? I don’t want to be a burden.” you replied, uncertainty swirling inside.

“Y/N,” Felix said, his voice steady, “Hongjoong is a man of honor. He wouldn’t propose if he didn’t truly love you. Trust in that.”

“I second that, Princess. I wouldn’t have entertained this matter if my brother hadn’t specifically requested it. He does see a future with you as part of it, and we would love the Dragon Princess to become a part of the Phoenix family.” Seonghwa assured you with a warm smile.

You looked around the room, seeing the sincerity in their faces. The weight of your fears began to lift, replaced by a flicker of hope. “So...you all approve?”

“Absolutely,” your dad said with a nod. “We want you to be happy, and if Hongjoong makes you happy, then that’s all that matters.”

Bangchan stepped forward, his expression serious. “Y/n, you need to meet him. He’s waiting for you in the cherry blossom garden. He has something important to say.”

You hesitated not fully sure if this was out of pity or he genuinely felt something for you.

After a moment of contemplation, you nodded and rushed outside. The cherry blossoms danced in the gentle breeze, their petals swirling around you as you approached the standing figure. Hongjoong stood under the trees, his eyes filled with a mixture of longing and determination.

“Y/N,” he began, his voice soft yet steady. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Prince Hongjoong, before you say anything.If you want to marry me out of pity to save me from embarrassment, then I don’t want it!” You spoke with sureity, you loved him, but didn’t want to burden him with your responsibility.

“I would never Princess. You are not a burden to me. Infact, the exact opposite. You are a responsibility I’d happily bear. For the rest of my life." his hand carassed your hair, hoping to provide some assurance. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper, unfolding it delicately. “I wrote something for you.”

With a deep breath, he recited the haiku he has written for you :

Under starlit skies,

My soul finds its home in you,

Unending, pure, true.

You felt warmth spread through your chest as his words wrapped around you, erasing the doubts clouding your mind. His gaze locked onto yours, the sincerity in his eyes unmistakable.

He stepped closer, taking your hands gently. “Y/N, look at me,” he said, his voice steady and gaze intense. “I would never propose out of pity. You’ve captivated me in a way no one else ever has. What we shared was real, and I want to honor that. I see a life with you and its not out of duty, but because I truly love you. So, will you marry me?”

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as his confession touched the depths of your heart. The fear of embarrassment faded, replaced by the overwhelming realization of his love for you.

“Yes,” you whispered, heart swelling with love. “I accept your marriage proposal, Hongjoong.”

A radiant smile spread across his face as he pulled you close, wrapping his arms around you while cherry blossoms swirled around, creating a perfect backdrop for your future.

In that moment, beneath the blooming cherry blossoms, your destinies intertwined, sealing your love with a promise of forever.

~ ~ Chérie ☆ signin’ off

Disclaimer : This is totally fictional and not a real depiction of the ATEEZ members. It's all just for fun only so please don’t take anything seriously and keep the mood light around here.

© ShixCherie.

Tag List : @star-my | @pixie0627 | @astuteataraxy

[catatombi]

beware of fang

Hey, im gonna say it outright and state that this is a call out. people get called out for being dangerous. fangs nearly pushed 3 people to commit suicide(including myself) and i had to be hospitalized because of him, so this feels justified. Im sorry if you disagree, ill keep it short and to the point If you’ve been a long time follower of his im sure you’ve seen his vague posts about his ex friends, the cotl tumblr community and “fandom drama” with little to no context behind it, other than various people appearing on his DNI. his vague nature in the posts is intentional, he doesn't want to let on that he was abusing his friends. Ive tried time and time again to write something but it never seemed right, like what he’s done to me and my friends wasn’t severe enough to warrant something like this, but it is and i don't want to let this go any longer, esp not when he has my friends, their names, usernames and literal contact information in his DNI list Over the last year ive been friends with fang hes been horrible. Hes never changed and refuses to acknowledge what hes done to his friends and how horribly he has hurt them, to keep this short im keeping this bullet pointy Here is his carrd, he has everything neatly outlined for yall to block on every platform Dont harass, dont contact. all of this is public information so https://web.archive.org/web/20240713073710/https://fanged-info.carrd.co/#boundaries

https://fanged-info.carrd.co/ Twit: FFANGEDD / narilamb_ / mewhenimsilly Insta: ffangedd / narilamb Tumblr: ffangedd / fanged-cotl / fanged-xeno Cara: narilamb Blusky: fanged / narilamb Itaku: fanged Artfight: FANGED Toyhouse: FFANGEDD Sheezy: fanged Discord & telegram: narilamb All the people mentioned have given consent Cw !!! abuse, suicide, self harm https://drive.google.com/drive/u/2/folders/1MLMOT-qvgrX-9NnUEgpl4AkEPfixy2wG

The drive is a bit out of date, as I logged it all before april. Hes posted more awful shit and vented to me again since then Feel free to request the letter i wrote to him, i might share it anyway because it sums up my thoughts on the matter If you want any additional context feel free to ask

Fang uses suicide and self harm threats to control and manipulate his friends, hes begged me for assisted suicide and when i refused to help him commit he begged in groupchats. He begged on instagram stories as well as twitter, so much so that his twitter for suspended for 12 hours. He has admitted to wanting someone to commit suicide with him and has previously formed suicide pacts and nearly followed through on one with a friend. fang backed out first. he continues to redirect blame. refusing to take accountability for his actions. He still blames his previous medications, his ex psychiatrist, his self diagnosed BPD & OCD, psychosis, and states of beings from disorders he doesn't have (claiming to be manic or sociopathic whilst not having bipolar1 or ASPD) fang blames his (ex)friends, claiming they were projecting their mental illness onto him when they were just reacting to his abuse, that they the ones in the wrong and that how they treated him/cut him off was vile and unfair, and believes that he never got real closure when he did. it just wasn't what he wanted to hear and now feels entitled to an apology from these people when all he’s ever done is traumatize and terrorize them. He describes the amount in which he has cut over pavi, wart and kat because what they put him through and how they traumatized him. The traumatizing actions were: Kat asking for a content warning, pavi didn't want to walk on eggshells anymore and blocked him without an explanation & wart blocked him after being emotionally abused for months Hes described how he would carve their names into his thigh and told me that he will carve my name into his skin when i leave too. He demanded wart and surf choose their “real friends��� and cut off their community for him because fang hated that they were being “two-faced” and hanging out with “people who hate him” He would spend hours venting relentlessly and graphically in his friends DMs, demanding their time and attention and expecting immediate replies. His friends are not professionals and shouldnt be expected to be an on-call DIY therapist for him, for hours, without consent. Fang has said he is completely unwilling to self censor for other peoples safety fang has vented to a 13 year old (they were not hiding their age) He referred to me (and our friends) as a phone person, a voice, icons. Concepts he can talk. Completely dehumanizing everyone that cared about him even to their faces. He blames his ex friends for his poor mental health and has said he wishes they watched him commit suicide, he wanted his friends to be traumatized from this (as if they werent already.) When a friend posted a screenshot of a gamenight to tumblr he had a breakdown so severe and so dangerous for so long that several of his friends has to mute the DM to keep themselves safe from his verbal abuse and suicide/SH threats He doesn't care about how triggering any of this can be for someone and will subject anyone (including people in danger) to his “venting” He didnt care about triggering me and contacted me at the worst of my suicidality in january and exasperated the danger i was in so severely I had to be hospitalized against my will before I could commit suicide. 

Im honestly not entirely sure what to even think. he knew the severity of my suicidality. he knew I had been hospitalized for an attempt in 2022, and still he chose me, probably the most vulnerable of his friends at the time to vent that heavily too back in janurary Hes a dangerous selfish person whos proven over and over that hes not getting better and isnt willing to change, i honestly had hope when he slowed down his graphic vent posts and victim blaming on twitter and insta but he decided to say fuck all and get right back into his shit train of shame and misery. Heres a link to all of the screenshot, damning ones are in important bitz if you’re not interested in going through them all https://drive.google.com/drive/u/2/folders/1MLMOT-qvgrX-9NnUEgpl4AkEPfixy2wG in these screens alone he: admits to sending his cuts to his friends, threatens to cut if i leave, admits that he was going to go through with a duel suicide and begged me for assisted suicide

warts screenshots v

full screenshots & complete context in the drive as for him claims that i was stalking him: i was scared, i was his friend. i tried so hard to be good enough and never was. the screens were a by product of confiding in my friends about what was happening and the drive was made to share w/ them i admit i prolly shouldve combed out some of it but, ykno also big phat apology for tagging cotl!!!!! only did bc fang has, please stay safe everyone, and thank you so much if you have read everything (the doc encase anyone was wanting it ! figured i;d just use tumblr regular posting method) https://docs.google.com/document/d/17QjXUEdQVd8c4GZS--vPo-xR3kgmoLl4ZmN3ROMutg0/edit?usp=sharing

edit as of 8:30pm 7/17/24 here is a link to pavi's response warts response and kats response

[antiquarianfics]

The Best Things Take Time

Bucky has a code. You manage to crack it.

A/N: This took me so long because I wasn't really sure how I wanted to go about it. I'm pretty happy with it, I think. Also, my first request! I hope I did your brain-child justice. :) Warnings: Mild language. Based on this request. Note: I do not own the character Bucky Barnes or any other Marvel affiliated characters.

You do not have permission to repost or translate my work; however, feel free to like, comment, and/or reblog.

----

Bucky Barnes decided early on in his life as a free man that he wasn’t going to try and date—even with Sam and Yori pushing him all the time. His triggers are gone, yes, but he is starkly aware that he still has a long way to go before he might be considered ready to give time and energy to another person on a daily basis. However, if there is anyone in the world that makes him reconsider his own rule, it’s you.

The two of you first formally met when Steve, Sam, and yourself finally tracked him down. You were kind to him, but you kept your distance. He never made many attempts to speak with you, but the short interactions he did have with you were short and clinical. He never asked, but he’s pretty sure you’re afraid of him—of what he’s done.

Despite this assumption, Bucky takes note of the way you drop everything to help him time and time again. You back him in Washington, you back him in Siberia, you back him in Wakanda, and you back him in Washington in the second go-round. He is appreciative—very much so—but he keeps his distance regardless. After all, he shouldn’t risk losing an ally by something as silly as small talk.

Things begin to change, though, when he runs into you at the airport. Both him and you felt the need to get on Sam’s back about giving up the shield.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, a little indignantly. You cringe a little at your tone, but you brush it off nonetheless.

Bucky shoots you an annoyed look before turning to Sam.

Throughout the mission to track down the Flag Smashers, you and Bucky bicker (even more than Sam and Bucky do). You challenge him on every opinion he shares, poke fun at every misstep he takes, and side with Sam for the sake of disagreeing with him. He returns the favor, and he ignores the bitter taste it leaves in his mouth.

Your interactions are not particularly pleasant, sure, but they’re existent—which is progress.

—

“Does he always stare like that?” Walker asks Sam, eyeing Bucky uncomfortably.

“You get used to it,” Sam replies.

You glare at Walker. His attitude towards you and your boys bothers you. His entitlement to Steve’s shield and name bothers you. He bothers you.

“Does she always stare like that?” Walker asks, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

“Only when douchebags harass my friends,” you deadpan.

You are plenty aware this is the first time you’ve called Bucky your friend, and you can tell he is too by the way his eyes shift from Walker to you. You’re not aware, though, that your concession of friendship serves as the push he needs to talk to you more.

—

It takes time, but over the next few weeks, Bucky manages to get you to open up. He’s surprised with himself by how he’s willing to talk to you; after all, people are usually trying to get him to talk.

Bucky finds out that you’re actually not as reserved as he thought, but you had heard both Steve’s stories of before and multiple people’s accounts of after. Your distance, you admit, was a consequence of you trying to give him space when everyone else was crowding him. Your teasing and bickering with him was a consequence of trying to create said space. The revelation makes Bucky’s heart clench: no one has made him feel so cared for in a long time.

Bucky sticks by his no dating rule, though. After all, you may be friends, and you may be acting nicer to him lately, but there’s no way you like him like that.

Or, at least he thinks so until Louisiana.

—

“Hey, Sarah,” Bucky says, flashing a charming smile at her from where he sits next to Sam and yourself on the dock.

“Hey!” You smack his chest with the back of your hand. “No flirting with Sam’s sister.”

He lets his attention shift to you, and he can’t help the surprise. He’s aware that you could just be enforcing Sam’s demand from earlier, but you’re so adamant. He thinks maybe he sees a flash of jealousy in your eyes, but he thinks, too, he might just be seeing what he wants to see.

Sam and Sarah continue to bicker before she shoos the three of you away from the boat. Sam and Bucky step onto the dock and begin to walk away before you, and they keep walking even when Sarah stops you.

“Subtle,” she says, smirking at you. You wave her off, your face heating up with a blush.

“Shut up,” you say, embarrassment entwined with each syllable.

Bucky thinks maybe—just maybe—you might like him back.

—

Looking back on the last few years, Bucky can hardly believe the journey you and he had been on. Being so distant most of your time together in the first few years, and then being so rude to each other the next few, and then needing a push from the Wilsons to actually do anything about your feelings… it was interesting, to say the least.

He remembers the day you agreed to leave Louisiana with him. It was an impulsive decision, but it led to the first time the two of you had truly been alone together. It led to inside jokes and deep conversations. It led to a genuine friendship.

“I’m headed out tomorrow,” Bucky informed you and Sam.

The three of you were sitting on the porch of Sarah’s house, conversation flowing from friendly jests, to Karli, to the boat, to whatever else. Your head shot up to stare at him, eyes widening.

“What? Why?” Your tone was a little panicked. Bucky raised his eyebrows at your tone. Sam laughed, and you shot him a glare.

“I don’t want to overstay my welcome, Doll,” he said. Ever since the incident with Sarah, he’d let a few pet names for you fall from his lips, and he smugly noted the way they made you squirm.

“Oh.”

“Well!” Sam exclaimed, clapping his palms on his knees as he stood. “I’m gonna go check on Sarah and the boys while you,” he pointed at the two of you in turn, “figure whatever is going on here out.”

You protested, but Sam was gone without another word. Neither one of you spoke for a moment, and you chewed on your lip.

“You’re really going?” You asked shyly.

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

“You can come with me, if you want,” he offered before he can think better of himself.

Your eyes shot to his, analyzing his face for any sort of jest. He seemed sincere, and once you decided he wasn’t pulling your leg, you responded.

“Okay.”

He remembers the day the two of you finally addressed that you were more than friends. Bucky, of course, has a no dating rule, and you? You had no such thing, but you weren’t dating either. In fact, you hadn’t since before Karli and the Flag Smashers showed up.

Bucky and yourself were at a bar, drinking and laughing with one another. He was sober, of course, but you were a little tipsy. You had a dopey smile on your face that he thought was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen. He still thinks your smile is the prettiest thing he’s ever seen.

That’s when a young woman sauntered up to the bar. She was gorgeous; her long, black braids reached her waist, her lips were painted a bright red color, and she wore a halter top that left little to the imagination.

“Hi,” she said, grabbing your attention, shooting you a flirtatious smile.

“Hi!” You said, the alcohol making you friendlier than you usually are.

“I saw you across the bar, and I was jus’ wonderin’, would you wanna grab a drink with me? Maybe dance a lil’?” Her eyes dragged down your body and back up to your eyes.

Your eyes widened and you blushed.

“Oh, uh! T-thank you! I’m flattered, but, uh, I got my guy right here, and I kinda like him too much to date!” You sort of yell-whispered the confession to the girl.

She glanced behind you to Bucky whose eyes had also widened in shock, his mouth hanging open a little. The woman laughed and touched your shoulder comfortingly.

“‘s alright,” she assured. “Was worth a shot, though.”

She turned to Bucky then.

“Yo, congrats, man. You’re a lucky guy once you two talk that through.”

With that, she had left, and you turned around to Bucky.

“Look,” you said, more sober sounding than you’d been since the two of you arrived at the bar. “I don’t know what you think this is, or what you want it to be, but I’m all in if you are.”

Bucky leaned forward and kissed you without a second thought.

And he remembers the moment he decided he was going to marry you, if you’d have him.

The two of you were sitting on the couch in your shared apartment; after about two years of dating, you insisted you live together.

“Buck, you’re always here. All your stuff is here. I don’t think you’ve stepped foot in your apartment in a month. You’re just wasting money on rent at this point.”

You were leaned into his side, eyes glued to the tv screen. The two of you were watching The Princess Bride (it’s one of the many movies you insisted was so culturally significant that he had to see it). It was the way you would turn to him at your favorite parts, gauging his reactions to see if he loved it like you did; the way you would mouth the most iconic lines along with the characters; and the way you would sigh contentedly and cuddle further into his side at the romantic scenes that really pulled the realization from deep within him. And, perhaps, it was the way you produced the most ridiculous voice to say "Mawwiage! Mawwiage is what bwings us here today!" that truly brought the idea of marrying you to the forefront of his mind. Regardless, he knew he wanted you around for the rest of his already over-extended lifetime.

—

Bucky Barnes decided early on in his life as a free man that he wasn’t going to try and date, and he decided late in his life as a free man that he wasn't going to ever try and date anyone other than you. So, here he finds himself, kneeling on the ground in front of you with a ring extended towards your person, and hoping you'll say yes.

"Sweetheart, I know we've had a lot of ups and downs. We met when I wasn't truly myself, we got together when I was still figuring out who I am on my own—without Steve, without HYDRA—but no matter what, you've been there for me. You're still here for me.

"You deserve the world, Doll, and I want to give it to you. I want to be here for all your ups and downs, and I want to spend my life being to you what you've already been to me.

"You're my partner, you're my best friend, you're the love of my life. And if you'll have me, I'll be your king, if you'll be my queen. I'll be your husband, if you'll be my wife.

"Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, will you marry me?"

You let out a laugh through a sob, pulling your hand to your face to quickly wipe your tears away, and you nod vigorously. You drop to your knees, pulling Bucky's face into your hands, caressing his cheek gently. Smiling, you respond.

"James Bucky Barnes, of course I'll marry you."

[dira333]

Lap Cat - Aone x Reader

Just a lil something I couldn't get out of my brain - 1,4k

Aone is a lap cat. 

You know the moment you meet him, even though you can’t point out what had given it away. 

It surely isn’t the way he keeps his voice to himself and uses his glares as a way of talking. Or the way he overestimated the weight of the door or underestimated his own strength and ripped your office door out of its handles on his first day.

He’d been the talk of the town for a whole month.

-

“Aone-san,” you called out at the end of the morning briefing. “Do you have a minute?”

He nods and follows you out and up the stairs into your office on the first level. 

You wonder what he thinks of you, in your nice business suit with the air-conditioned office. If he looks down on you like some of the other workers do because you’re one if not the youngest building designers in the company. You don’t think he does, but he’s hard to read.

“I’ve noticed you are very diligent in your work.” You explain to him. “And this part is very difficult to master. I’d love it if you could double-check the work, especially if you end up working on a different part. I don’t want to call anyone lazy, but I’ve been told that we’ve consistently had trouble keeping up with the plan for these structures and I want everything to be okay. I-”

“It’s okay.” As always, the deep timbre of his voice surprises you. You wish he’d talk more often. 

“Great. I’ll be here all day. And tomorrow too and the day after that as well. So you can come in whenever to let me know, okay?”

He nods, having used up all his words already. He leaves you shortly after, but not after an awkward pause where you try not to babble and he stares intently at the little pink bows adorning your stilettos.

-

You’re in the middle of unpacking your lunch Bento when there’s a knock on the door.

“Come in!”

Aone’s face is smeared with dirt. His clothes are stained too, but his hands are clean as they offer you a piece of paper.

You take it and inspect it. He’s made a checklist for the area you mentioned. Your heart lurches at this careful work. 

“Thank you!” You doubt your smile can express even half of your gratitude.

His ears are red. He’s probably gotten a sunburn from working outside all morning.

“Do you…” You hesitate. “Do you want to share lunch? It’s cooler in here and I wouldn’t mind.”

He looks at the pretty but uncomfortable chairs in front of your desk and back to his dirty, stained clothes.

“Don’t mind it.” You rush to say. “Please, sit. I will go and get something to drink from the machine outside.”

“Let me.” He says and you freeze, spellbound by his voice - again.

 -

Soon you find yourself spilling your thoughts over eggrolls, rice and two cans of sparkling water. 

You babble when you get nervous and he sure as hell makes you nervous.

“It’s so nice to have someone with me when I eat.” You tell him when he gets up, no doubt to leave for his work again. “I mean, I can eat alone, no problem, I do that at home too. I mean I have a kitten there, but he’s the quiet type. It just gets a little lonely around lunch when I have to work by myself all the time anyway. You probably don’t have that problem, because you’re so many workers all working together all day and then you have lunch break together too, but if you want to cool down for a bit, feel free to come up here for Lunch Break.”

“Thank you.” He interrupts your babbling, bowing so abruptly you’re left speechless - a rare occurence.

“Oh no, I have to thank you.” Now you’re bowing too and it’s only your colleague passing by that saves the two of you from bowing in turn until one gives up.

-

Kenji curls up on your lap that night as you tell him of your day. 

He’d been a stray, a tiny ball of fur and teeth, only slowly learning that you did not mean any harm. He’s not the best listener, occasionally digging his claws into your thighs as he either disagrees with you or does not care about your opinion. But he’s yours and you’d be even lonelier without him. 

-

You don’t see Aone for another week. Well, you spot him during morning briefings, a quiet presence at the back of the room, but you don’t come across him other than that until it’s Monday and you only find out that you’ve left your Lunch at home when it’s time to unpack it.

It’s pouring outside and you’re dressed for sunshine to the point that not even a borrowed umbrella will keep you warm or dry during the trek down to the Konbini and back again.

But going hungry is even worse.

You run into Aone right at the entrance, raindrops creating little patterns in the dirt on his face. 

He holds a can of sparkling water in one hand and a Bento Box in his other.

“Oh, Aone. Hello!” You smile up at him. “Are you taking your Lunch inside? Do you want to come up to my Office? I’ve turned my heater on, actually, because I run cold easily.”

He looks down at the Umbrella in your hand.

“Oh, I forgot my Lunch at home. I’ll just run down to the Konbini and get some, but feel free to go up and get warm.”

His eyes travel down to your feet, where your painted nails peek out of a new pair of high-heeled sandals. 

“What do you need?” He asks. “I am already wet.”

“Oh, I can’t.” He hands you the sparkling water. You take it, too surprised to refuse it. He takes your umbrella and hands you his Lunch.

“What do you need?” He repeats again. There’s something in his voice, at least that’s what it must be, that makes you open your mouth and answer.

He nods and turns to leave, leaving you behind with his Lunch and his drink.

-

There’s a blanket resting on one of the chairs. Aone is the only one who uses it, and drapes it over the chair to make sure he doesn’t get it dirty.

Aone is a lap cat. He wants to be asked, he wants to be offered. He does not ask himself. 

You get his phone number so you can text him every day, letting him know what you’ll be taking for Lunch. He never stands up an invitation. 

So you invite him to walk to the train station with you. He holds your umbrella, nodding along as you talk about your day. 

“Where do you live, Aone-san?” You ask, nibbling on the inside of your cheek as you debate if that question is too forward. You don’t even know his first name yet, even though you long to.

You almost miss his answer, too absorbed in the sound of his voice. He does not live far from you.

“Are you taking the train as well? We could sit together.” His face changes into something that looks like disappointment. 

“But we don’t have to!” You try to mend whatever mess you’ve just created.

“I have practice.”

“Practice?”

“Volleyball.”

“Ooooh! Can I come watch?”

The faintest blush covers his cheeks at your question. You’ve never seen it before, but you could get addicted to that sight.

“They would think you are my girlfriend.”

“I wouldn’t mind that.” Your face burns as you realize what you’ve just divulged.

“I don’t mean- I wouldn’t ever pressure- You don’t have to feel-”

Aone interrupts your blabbering, but not with words. He stretches out his incredibly long arm, offers his hand to you in a wordless answer.

You take it, your heart beating so loud you fear he can hear it. 

-

Aone is a lap cat. 

Just like Kenji he craves your touch, your presence, being near you whenever he can. 

But quite unlike Kenji, he does not mind when you roll over in your sleep and kick your leg into his shins. He does not dig his fingernails into your skin - and if he does, he does it lovingly.

He’s as much a quiet presence in your home as your cat, making lazy Sunday Mornings so much sweeter.

My Kofi if you want to tip me

[russellsppttemplates]

How oblivious, Charles! (George Russell)

Usually, people think being a twin means having to share everything is a con, but really, it's having another you to help in everything

Note: english is not my first language. Here's some Leclerc!reader for you, it was quite fun!

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: reader and George are in a secret relationship, mentions alcohol consumption

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"Is that a guys' wallet in the story you uploaded today? Who did you go and have lunch with today, Y/N?", Lorenzo asked, sitting next to you on the living room's sofa, exaggerating his fall and purposefully partially body blocking you.

"Why do you care so much?", you asked, hearing Charles' footsteps on the stairs, surely hearing the topic his older brother was on about and wanting to know more.

Because we are your older brothers and have a right to know if and who our little sister is dating!", Charles said, sitting next to you more gently than Lorenzo, expectant of your answer.

"I was with Arthur, if you must know", you said, looking at your younger (even if it was by only a few minutes) brother as he walked inside from the balcony, "me and Arthur had lunch today", you signalled with his eyes, hoping he would get the message.

While most people thought being a twin was a bad thing because you had to share everything since the womb, you would have to disagree. Having a twin brother had not only made your childhood incredible because you had a sibling always ready to play with you when your older brothers couldn't but also because you had someone to cover up any mishap the other did.

Your dating life wasn't a mishap, per se, but you and George had been careful. You knew how the media would react at the fact that the only Leclerc girl was dating a Formula One driver, and quite frankly, how your brothers would react. In reality, any person wanting to date you would have big trouble as it was, but being someone they knew so well?

Surprisingly, Arthur had been calm when he found out. He was quick to join the pieces when he went looking for you in the Mercedes hospitality, someone mindlessly pointing him there as it had been the last place they had seen you walk in. When he asked you about it, you couldn't lie to him. He understood your worries, and like so, he vowed to not tell anyone until you allowed him to. Unlike the odds of Charles making the same promise to you, Arthur been careful and, so far, there had been no issues.

"Yes, we went for lunch by the bay", Arthur replied shortly, "are you jealous?", he teased them. The ongoing joke that, one day, you two would join forces would take on the world was recurrent and hardly harmful, but it didn't mean you didn't love teasing them about it.

"Why don't you join forces and take on Ferrari's strategy delegation? Might as well start small before taking on the world", Lorenzo tapped Charles' back, making all of you laugh at the situation.

"That's where you think we would start small? At this point, taking over Monaco sounds easier", you offered.

.

"Did I just hear my mother talk about how 'lovely George must be' because you gave my brother advice on his love life and how it is to have a sister who's probably dating? Did I hear that correctly, George William Russell?", you said as you walked inside your boyfriend's apartment as soon as the door opened.

"Did your mother talk nicely about me? I think you should be thrilled about it", he said, puckering his lips so you could kiss them, melting when he finally had you close to him.

"I hate you, did you know that?", you slapped George's chest, kissing the spot straight away as you chuckled.

"It was funny, you have to admit it! Charles was genuinely listening to my advice and telling me all his worries about you, I think it's cute and caring, actually", George brought you to his kitchen, seeing you take a peek at want he was cooking, humming in delight as the scent stroked your nostrils, "my mother sure is delighted. Pascale Leclerc is a woman who takes a lot of convincing and persuasion, and she kept singing your praises!", you yelped when George's hand touched your tummy under your shirt, "I know how to make the Leclerc women fall in love with me, don't I?", he said cockily.

"You wouldn't prefer to be in a restaurant instead of having to eat in?", you asked as George as you helped him carry the food to the table, "I don't mind it, and this way we can have more privacy", he smiled.

"When do you want to tell them about us?", you continued, serving yourself and then your boyfriend, "whenever you want to, darling", George replied honestly, taking the cork off of the bottle and pouring the wine.

"Besides, I like this game where people try to figure out who you are and who I am", your boyfriend chuckled, kissing your forehead as you shook your head, watching him sit down in front of you, "Charles, especially, he's so easy to wind up about you. The other day, and I have to admit it I actually nearly gave it all away, it was me, Charles and some Ferrari guys, Pierre and Francisca, and she was commenting on how pretty you looked in your dress, and I made an humming sound in agreement as one of the crew members agreed and he shot daggers through his eyes directed at him", he explained.

"I think he genuinely doesn't know about it. Arthur knows about it, he's one of the reasons we've been able to do this for this long. Lorenzo knows that I'm seeing someone, and he's pretty much certain he is someone from the paddock, I think. Why he is keeping it quiet and never bringing it up, that I don't know. But I think he knows more than he says he does", you took a sip of wine.

.

Celebrations after the race were mandatory today. Both Charles and Arthur had been in the podium for each of their races, and since the whole family had travelled for the race, your family and some of the other drivers had agreed to have dinner together and celebrate at a club later.

"Behave, all of you", your mother threatened lightly, "I don't you doing anything that is dangerous, non consensual or illegal, okay?", she said as you and your brothers kissed her cheek good night before she went back to the hotel.

When arriving to the club, you were shown the area you'd be spending the night in, Lando and Carlos taking all of the orders from the rest of the group as your twin brother approached you, "is tonight the night?", he wondered.

You raised your eyebrows, not getting what he meant, "you're drinking, I've seen you look at George with eyes that could only mean you're undressing him your mind, so is tonight the night you slip and show everyone?", he smirked as you widened your eyes, "not if I can help it! Why are you conspiring against us?", you belted out.

"I'm only joking, if you need cover up, let me know okay? Besides, I think he's the one we will have to look out for tonight", Arthur chuckled, kissing the top of your head and looking at Carlos and Charles doing shots by the bar.

The music was nice and you had been dancing with Francisca and Lily until the Portuguese girl excused herself. Not long after, Alex walked up to his girlfriend, "Y/N Leclerc, just the one I was looking for", he smiled cheekily at you.

"Why do I sense this is going to be bad for me?", you squeezed your eyes nearly shut as the Williams driver pulled George with him, "if I have to dance with Lily, and I have to because this is the song we always dance together to, you can't be alone! George is a fine dancer, I'd say, so, lead the way, Russell!", he said as he made your boyfriend approach you.

Chuckling, you allowed George to hold your hand, "does he know?", you asked your boyfriend, "no, I didn't tell anyone, but he was just telling me that we'd be a good fit for eachother, and that if I could 'tame the army of brothers' you have, it would be smooth sailing", he offered, twirling you as the song became louder.

"Wonder where he got the idea, hm?", you smiled, George's arm and hand helping you twirl and spin, "Do you think they'll notice if I sneak a kiss?", George whispered.

Classic George, he was wearing a shirt, the top two buttons undone and his hair was wavy just how you liked it. Having started the race from the bottom places, the post race glow after he reached P4 was noticeable and it made him ever more charming and handsome as you pulled his neck down slightly, stealing a kiss when no one was looking.

.

"Arthur! Why do I have hair gel on my floor? Last time I checked, this wasn't a cleaning hack", you asked your brorher over the phone as he laughed histerically, "it's not funny Arthur! Me and George were wearing socks and it's all gooey now!".

"You can't deal with your boyfriend's feet, Y/N?", Arthur teased you, seeing your disgusted expression.

The prank was simple. Hair gel in your bedroom floor on the day everyone was our of the house and Arthur had assured you you'd have the place to yourself for the day.

"The minute you offered help, I should've- thank you, amour- I should've suspected!", you snapped, "my boyfriend has pretty feet, they're not like your nasty ones!", you said, chuckling as George wiped the floor with a wet cloth he carefully got from the kitchen after he cleaned his feet.

"Is this you having a go at my feet or at my hair?", George asked Arthur, smiling at his prank, "you looked like you needed help!", your brother offered his input.

"I love his fluffy hair, so I suggest you stay out of it before I go to your room and clean these wet cloths on your bed", you foreshadowed, you're lucky you're helping me have my boyfriend all to myself today, Arthur, or this could've ended differently".

.

"Why is George here?", Charles asked, noticing his friend walking to his mother's house garden with you by his side.

"Y/N didn't tell you he was joining us for lunch?", Pascale said simply, smirking at her son's obliviousness.

Your mother, as it turns out, had known all along not only that you were in a romantic relationship, but a romantic relationship wirh George Russell. Her unfazed expression when you announced to her you'd be bringing him to your family lunch told you that much, "Chérie, you have that look in your eye your father had for me when we met. It's kind, and a little scared, too, but it's full of passion, too. I noticed the moment you came home from Silverstone", she smiled, hugging you and kissing your forehead.

"Have you seriously not caught on, brother?", Lorenzo laughed at Charles' unawareness as Arthur watched his jaw drop when the Scuderia Ferrari driver noticed George was holding his sister's hand, "no way!", he yelled.

"Charles, this is my boyfriend, George. We've been dating for a few months now", you introduced them like they didn't race eachother twenty four weekends out do the year.

"How did I not know you were daring my sister?", Charles asked George, and maybe a little to himself too, "I spend a third of the year near you, and you live here on Monaco, where you've been seeing my little sister? How did I miss this?".

Chuckling at him, you walked up to Charles, letting go of George's hand and hugging your brother, "to be fair, Arthur covered for me a lot", you explained.

"But mama and Arthur knew, then?", he wondered, looking at the rest of the family.

"I thought only Arthur knew, but mama has known from the start, it seems. I only told Arthur", you clarified.

"I got suspicious when the race was here, you kept 'accidentally' going to the Mercedes hospitality, right Y/N? Didn't say anything as j figured it wasn't my place", Lorenzo excused himself.

"You knew and you didn't tell me? I asked you so many time if you knew if she was dating!", Charles pointed his finger at Arthur.

"We're twins, Charles, I wouldn't do her that dirty", Arthur added, "you certainly didn't have any issues when we swapped her shampoo when we were younger", he called, "That's different, messing with that is okay. With her feelings, it isn't", Arthur smiled.

"I hope you're also an apologist of not playing or messing with her feelings, George", Charles threatened lightly.

"The most. No messing with her feelings ever, even if she had messed my heart quite a bit until she finally let me win her over", George said as you approached him, hugging your waist ad kissing the side of your head.

[tragedybunny]

A Lovely Night - Astarion x F!Reader - TW: Mentions of past suicide attempts

Just an idea that came to me that I had to write. I promise next thing up is one of the requests that was waiting for awhile.

You and Astarion share a quiet night at camp and end up getting to know a lot more about each other and your relationship.

“Astarion, honestly,” you scold, fussing with one tent pole. “You’re making this difficult on purpose.” 

“I don’t know what you mean, my Dear,” he smirks, and moves suddenly, the half-finished tent collapsing on itself. It’s just a little game to maximize his time with you. The longer you two work at this, the less chance the others have to steal you away. 

“Gods, I’m going to sharpen one of these into a nice, pointy stake.” Your threat is undercut by a poorly concealed smile.

“Oh, what a cruel thing to say.” He widens his eyes at you, all feigned hurt. 

“That’s it, set it up yourself!” Throwing your hands up, you start to walk away, when he catches you, arms around your waist, pulling you in. 

“Fine, fine, I apologize,” little kisses pepper your neck as you squirm, still playing at a show of indignation, and start to giggle. 

“Let me go, you vile beast,” you’ve twisted until you face him, and he brushes his lips against yours. 

Words die away, and you rest your forehead against his, arms looping around his neck. Another soft kiss and the two of you have forgotten the tent entirely. 

Someone groans intentionally loud enough for you both to hear and the two of you dissolve into laughter. Astarion lets you go. The two of you really should make sure you have some place to sleep tonight anyway.

When the tent is finally up, you settle next to each other by the fire. Gale’s cooking again, which Astarion finds preferable. Sometimes when unoccupied, he stares at you like a parched man at a cool stream. Reaching for your hand, his fingers brush the scar on your wrist. At first, he hadn't noticed it existed, his mind divorcing itself from his body when he was intimate with you. Later he'd found it, when he was trying to study and memorize every bit of you while denying the ever-growing place in his heart that you occupied. 

You hadn't told him about what led to it, and he hadn’t known how to ask. Tonight you jerk back as though burnt when his touch finds it, and he wants to be hurt. But you've given him space and patience, he could at least do the same for you. 

So he hooks his arm around your waist and pulls you close until your head rests on his shoulder as you both stare at the crackling fire. "Favorite season," he asks. It's a little game the two of you invented, learning otherwise small details about each other. You knew the larger parts of his past, Cazador and all, and he knew the broad swathes of yours. You left home because you disagreed with your parents, he'd started to figure you for a noble before you'd all but admitted it, and you were a Warlock who couldn't say much beyond that. But the tiny details of you, those you could be free with. 

"Spring, it feels full of second chances and rebirth." You nuzzle your face into his shoulder. 

"Summer," that's the rule, you both have to answer, "it's the only time the night feels alive, even if it is short." 

A sympathetic noise and you kiss his cheek. "A pet that's not a dog or cat?"

"Rabbits," he answers without hesitation. 

"Really?" 

"They make a rather compliant food supply in a pinch."

"Astarion!" You try to sound scandalized, like you didn't know you were in a relationship with a vampire. Playfully, you swat at his shoulder. "Pets are not for eating." 

Scratch gives him a look from across the fire, the mutt never far from your side. "I thought we weren't judging each other," he scolds with a smile. "Your turn."

“What could I trust you with? Maybe something more appropriate like a raven,” you snicker, and he rolls his eyes knowing you can see him. “Oooh, maybe a bat.” 

“Are you making fun of me? You know, if we had anything like that, the neighbors would figure me out for sure, and then there’d be a mob after me. Is that what you want?” 

“Well I can’t trust you not to eat the rabbits it would seem, so what am I supposed to do,” the last word is squeezed out between giggles. Gods, it’s amazing to hear you laugh, even if it is at his expense. 

“Fine, no eating any pets. I promise,” he uses the same honeyed tone from the first days of knowing you, stifling his own laughter. It’s absurd, and wondrous, it almost feels like you're talking about real possibilities of some future beyond all this. 

“What about chickens? What if we had a farm with a bunch of chickens. Would I have to chase you out of the hen house like a fox?” 

“Madame, I’m highly insulted, you would think so low of me. Also, birds are harder to catch than you would think.” Arms crossed, he pouts. 

“You poor thing,” you kiss his temple, “I’m sorry for offending you.” Settling back down, you sigh wistfully. "That would be nice, wouldn't it? A little farm, the middle of nowhere, after we deal with everything."

"If that would make you happy. I'll refrain from any untoward curiosity about your chickens." Not that he ever expects you would really want that with him, you'll come to your senses after all this. 

"Deal. Seal it with a kiss?" He barely gets the agreement out and your lips are on his, gentle at first, waiting for his lead to something more fervent. Lips part, he invades your mouth, the noise you make music to him. A small step, a moment of desire that doesn't send him hurtling back into the abyss. 

"Dinner is done, if you two can tear yourselves apart for a few minutes," Gale practically scolds from across the fire.  

You pull away, blushing, another musical laugh echoing around him. “We can continue this later.” Reluctantly, he surrenders you to dinner, and the conversations the others pull you into. 

After what seems like an eternity, the two of you are finally alone again, the dying fire casting a soft light through the walls of the tent. In the flickering shadows, he watches as you begin to strip, casting the day away as you toss your garments to the side. The sight of you unclothed no longer sparks anxiety, now just a casual expression of your comfort around him. He drinks you in, alluring and unguarded. You are, admittedly, very pretty, but there's something beyond that. It’s that heart of yours, full of kindness, even for someone like him. 

"Why do you always have to play the hero?" He'd accosted you once after yet another noble deed.

"I can't just look away when I could've done something. This is a choice I make every day Astarion. To try to do what's right." You tapped his nose lightly with a finger, and he glared at you. "Even when it comes to you, my dear bloodsucker."

Somehow that was even more amazing to him. Kindness and goodness didn't just come to you, you fought to be that person. He suspected it was against a past that had tried to teach you the opposite.

You reach for the loose nightshirt you'd pulled from your pack. "Leave it off, please." Pausing, you give him a questioning look. "I just want to feel you tonight." 

The way your eyes softened at that made his still heart tremble. "Alright, Love."

After you settled among the blankets, he lays down in your arms, back pressed to your chest, your arms wrapping around him. He knows the touch of his skin brings a chill to yours, but that’s what the generous pile of blankets is for, so he pulls them over the both of you, trapping the warmth of you. 

"This is nice," you say, kissing his neck and shoulders until he feels the tension in his muscles giving way, and he relaxes in your embrace. 

Inhaling, his nostrils are filled with the scent of you. It's the most wondrous thing, and somehow it clings to everything now that you share a bed; blankets, pillows, even his clothes. He's surrounded by you all the time, and even more amazing, he smells himself on you, tangible proof you’re really his. His in the way that you gave yourself to him, just as he was yours. 

Something still feels unsettled in him though, a curiosity, no a concern, from earlier. “Can I touch it?” He blurts without thinking. 

Feeling you stiffen behind him, he curses, you’d had such a lovely evening, and now he’d ruined it. An arm unwraps from him, and you hold it where his fingers could find it. “Go ahead.” 

Two fingers caress it, running along your wrist, deep, straight, no jagged edges. A sharp blade and no hesitation, did they find you before it was too late, or was magic needed to bring you back? A cry tries to tug its way out of his throat, but he clamps his lips shut. There was almost a world without you, a world where you weren’t there to find him on that beach. The thought presses down, threatening to strangle him, and he tries to blink away tears. But he can feel your pulse thrumming under that scar, you’re here, you survived, and you found him. “If anyone ever makes you feel like this again, I’ll tear their throat out.” He knows you can’t say the why or when of it, but he’ll be damned if it ever happens again. 

“Hmm,” you don’t elaborate, but let him keep on with the small circles he’s now rubbing on your wrist. 

“What?” It was probably a stupid notion, look how far you’d brought this group, whatever your past, you didn’t need protection anymore. 

“It’s just different, thinking about someone trying to protect me.” 

“I do try…” Not that you could tell, apparently. 

Your arm shifts back, and before he can be anxious, it finds its previous spot, encircling his chest. Lips bury themselves in his curls and back down along his neck again. “I know. I meant, I don’t know, emotionally.” You huff, and he finds one of your hands to squeeze. “If I was happy never mattered much before.” 

“Well, it matters now.” There’s a deluge of emotion threatening in your words behind a dam that barely holds it back. That’s not for tonight though, or any night soon, he knows you have to finish this fight first. But when he can, when you’re ready, he’ll be there, repayment for the way you hold his heart with a delicate touch. 

“I think I’m starting to realize that.” Another kiss, this one on his ear, making him shiver. “I love you, Astarion.” 

“I love you too. Just…please don’t ever forget that.” It’s all gone entirely too serious. “Withers doesn’t need any more of our gold.” 

Behind him, you make a sound that’s half laugh, half sob, your face is wet where you press it into his shoulder. “Just whine at him, it seems to work well enough on the rest of us.” 

You pull him tight against you, and for this moment, everything is perfect and wonderful and lovely. Tag List:

@micropoe10 @spacebarbarianweird@writingmysanity @mxxny-lupin @azu21 @tallymonster @dependsonthedream @sunfire-ancunin @bambamwolf87 @fayeriess @lumienyx @lisrelly

[azaharinflames]

Will you share your theory on what you think is happening behind the scenes of 911?

Hi, Nonnie!

Sure! As long as everyone is aware this is purely speculation, and nothing I say should be taken as proof of anything, I have no problem.

I've gone over a few things in my head, to be honest. I thought that JLH having filming conflicts could've been a major factor, and I still don't exactly disagree with that initial idea, but overall I think it was one of the things that threw TM for a loop.

Now, I've seen a lot of people theorize that perhaps Angela is leaving and that is what is causing so much chaos in BTS, but I am on the fence about this. I do think she might've asked to not have such a big role moving forward, especially if they get a season 9 (which I am also on the fence about ngl), like perhaps retiring, or just having a more laidback position training new recruits. The seeds are planted for that, not so much for her fully leaving. And it would give Angela more free time to dedicate to other projects (which, yes please. I need her in new projects ASAP).

So... (and please don't kill me for this, it's just a theory).

I think it all comes back to Ryan. And that he perhaps is leaving, or actively wants to leave. I will try to explain myself as concise as possible:

A couple of months ago there was already speculation about this. In all of his individual interviews (which were a lot, to be honest), Ryan made a point of talking about his work beyond 911 and talking about what he would like to do after 911.

On top of the individual promo, there was an uncharacteristically high amount of BTS dedicated to him and the godforsaken mustache. To the point where they threw a mustache party. And in the pics of that party, the vibes were that it was a party for Ryan, not in general.

Small thing, but Josh randomly dressing up as Eddie for Halloween. Perhaps unrelated, but I wanted to add it.

The 911 account reposting and celebrating Ryan's 100th ep, when 1. it wasn't his 100th (if we count the eps he was actually in) and 2. it was also JLH's, and yet they didn't say a thing about it. Ryan reposted that as well and the message he reposted it with was more nostalgic than anything else. Very much giving 'it was an honor to work with you, what a journey'.

I could be wrong, but I do think his contract ends this season. So, that just adds to it.

The timeline of the move to Texas. By the reactions alone I was fully expecting Eddie to leave for Texas at the end of 808, and then to be back with Chris (in a lazy way of solving their conflict off-screen) by 809-810. But the way he's currently thinking about it makes it very sus for me. As in, it can be a thing for the end of the season, and an actual goodbye for Eddie.

Of course, nothing of this has to actually happen, and it's quite possible it just exists in my brain. But this makes sense in my funny brain because then it explains why BT had to break up so soon... because they wanted Buck to feel completely isolated.

We know 809-10 will deal with Maddie being kidnapped. That alone will make Buck spiral. But if on top of that his best friend is also leaving... well, being alone just adds to the isolation and the angst. Because if Tommy was still around he'd be able to lean on him, and have him help him through this. But it seems like the writers wanted Buck fully alone for this, because sure, seeing a character never learning and being completely isolated is so much fun.

If this ends with BT getting back together, I honestly don't know. It wouldn't surprise me if Tim doesn't know. But, all in all, I wouldn't be surprised if RG deciding he's done is the thing that kinda created the domino effect.

(Also: I do not believe Oliver was telling Tim to fire Lou and end BT. Sorry. I just don't really see it. Nor do I think there were actual conflicts between actors BTS, as much as everything they're doing right now does feel a bit weird)

Anyway, thanks for letting me rant, Nonnie! My inbox is always open for ranting, venting, or discussing

Take care <3

[pink-amethyst-tarot]

What you need to hear right now - Pick A Card

The world is really fucking sad, so here is some good news

Here are some families and causes you can help that are in Palestine.

Song of the Day - Big Boy by Sikey M.

P I L E 1 ~ P I L E 2 ~ P I L E 3

P I L E 1 - Be Radical.

Eight of Pentacles (Reversed), Queen of Wands (Reversed), The Fool, The Emperor

You don't have to push yourself so hard. There is no need to overcompensate because you believe that you aren't worried or special. You are where you are because you are someone special and worthy and so much more than you know. Spirit wants you to take that leap of faith. Sometimes believing in yourself is radical. Sometimes loving yourself is a radical act. You would be so upset if someone treated someone you cared about the way you treat yourself. Image in you had to live as someone you cared about for one whole year. What you do for that person in that time? How would you take care of them? What good would you have them do for themselves? That is how you should treat yourself. You are not your enemy. The negative thoughts you may have about yourself were never something that just came out of nowhere for your own head. People and life told you that you were wrong either through verbal or nonverbal communication. If you did not create these thoughts, why should you keep them? This Emperor is who you are meant to be. Take the leap. Be radical.

Thank you so much for participating in this reading. Feel free to like, reblog and share. If you would like a personal reading, you can check that out by clicking here.

P I L E 2 - Let Me Be Your Peace.

The Emperor (Reversed), King of Pentacles, Four of Wands, King of Cups

"Let me be your peace." is what I keep hearing. This could be one person or more than one person that wants to come in and your support. You have had people in your life that would come in and just treat you so awful but this person or people that are coming in, will not be like the people from your past. I say, "person or people" but I feel like that even if it's one person, that one person is going to come with people if that makes sense. and for someone of you, you may be meeting someone romantically and I think that's why even if it's one person, it will turn into people. Meeting one person will lead you to the one. The people that are coming in want to pour into you and they want to commune with you. You don't have to show up with something to give; don't worry about "what you bring to the table". The fact that you showed up to the function is enough. Your presence is enough. YOUR PRESENCE IS ENOUGH. YOUR PRESENCE IS ENOUGH. I just felt the need to say that way more than once so I can make sure you know. Maybe it can be your affirmation. The people coming in are less worried about what you can do for them but rather what they can do for you. They want to pour into your cups. I don't think it's because they don't expect less of you or expect you do less. I think it's because they trust and believe you will do right by them so they will trust and do right by you. They trust you. They believe in you. For those of you that have a romantic partner coming in, I hope you are ready to settle down/get married/have babies. Whatever the big step is for you and how that fits into your life, you will be doing that with this person.

Thank you so much for participating in this reading. Feel free to like, reblog and share. If you would like a personal reading, you can check that out by clicking here.

P I L E 3

Three of Pentacles, Two of Wands, Queen of Cups, The Star

This is your path. No one can make the decisions for you. You might be scared to get it wrong but there is no need. Open your heart and do what you truly believe is right for you; even if others would disagree. (212, 12, 2112 and/or 211 might be significant to you.) You can talk to the people that you respect and trust most in your life to get their opinion but, ultimately, it's all up to you. I keep getting distracted while doing this reading, which is weird because I was so focused for the other two. Losing focus of what you need to do or finding ways to distract yourself could be something that you relate to. I feel like if that's you, you're doing it because you don't want to make decisions but THAT'S NOW HOW THIS WORKS! The time is going to pass anyway, so might as well buckle down and handle your business. Yes, you could wait until it's the last minute but then you'll be all stressed out and it will make it even harder for you. Why put yourself through more anguish than you already are in? I feel like no matter what you choose, it will lead to a new beginning that will be very healing for you. Almost like you will be made new. you'll be born again in some, way, shape or form. Also hearing something about others making decision for you. Maybe people have made choices for you for a long time, maybe even your whole life. It doesn't have to be like that forever though. You got this. Believe in yourself.

Thank you so much for participating in this reading. Feel free to like, reblog and share. If you would like a personal reading, you can check that out by clicking here.

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[theoncomingchaos]

Who loves Rook: Spite or Lucanis

I've been seeing a lot of discourse about this, and I just want to add my thoughts.

I might be totally wrong about this, but here we go. When Spite was put into Lucanis, he was still Determination. The fact that he changed throughout the torture, forced insertion, and imprisonment suggests to me that they have been put into a speedrun of a similar situation to Anders and Justice/Vengeance where they have started to meld. (As Anders put it, you wouldn't know where one begins and the other ends). Just like Anders and Vengeance, Lucanis and Spite can have separate consciousnesses and even disagree about things, but their core values have started to influence one another and become a part of one another- heightening certain aspects.

I think this melding is why we see some dialogues where Rook tells Lucanis that he sounds like Spite and similarly it's also the reason for the shared attraction- which I fully believe is coming originally from Lucanis.

I'll be honest my first time through I romanced Lucanis and was very disappointed. I didn't even see him and Neve ever flirt (she only ever encouraged us!) But still, it seemed to go from 0 to 60 with him. Now, I am on my second playthrough and I only just met him, but I am starting to see some really subtle looks and dialogues that suggest that Lucanis wasn't lying later when he said he was attracted to Rook from the beginning, but was afraid to really pursue anything or even acknowledge the possibility of being with them. With his fear of trusting people, ptsd from the prison, failed history in romance, and his new situation with Spite that he still hadn't worked out yet, he never thought anything would or could ever come of his feelings. We know Lucanis loves romance stories and likely longs for one of his own, but in such a situation it must have seemed truly impossible and terrifying to let someone else in. Especially someone you really care for and are starting to trust. So, he pushed it all down. Rook flirts? Maybe a small smile, but then quickly lock it all up with everything else he can't handle. Focus on work. Don't think about Spite, or Rook, or anything difficult.

However, if the melding has already happened as I suspect, then the feelings Spite is expressing are shared with (and likely sourced from) Lucanis, he's just better at expressing it directly- which makes sense for a spirit that was once Determination. When you first talk to Lucanis after the rescue, the thing Spite says about Rook changes accordingly to your tone, but to me the responses still sound like they come from Lucanis and are then echoed in Spite: "He doesn't want to hurt us." Even the "He's more fun than you" is something Lucanis seems to think about himself as he is fully aware that much of his life has not been his own and believes "all he knows is death."

Leading back to the main point, Lucanis's trust and interest in Rook would be heightened by Spite the way Anders' anger towards the templars was heightened. Even though they are finally free from the prison, their is a sense of constant suffering from still feeling trapped by fear, regret, and pain- Spite feels that suffering too. The elements of determination are still within him the same way justice is another side to vengeance. Both spite and vengeance are the results of failing to achieve their goals of Justice and Determination. Spite sees Rook as a way to free them from pain and restraint, a glowing and beautiful key to the prison door, and he is determined to do what needs to be done to solve the problem. That's why he doesn't hesitate. He has no fear. He wants to talk to Rook. He wants Rook to come in and free them.

After Rook has freed them, they become a source of comfort and safety, once they encourage Lucanis and Spite to find a way to cohabit comfortably, the two continue to meld, and the need to protect Rook, to love Rook, to keep them, is very deeply shared. Now, IF Spite was somehow removed or even somehow restored (Both of which I think are impossible) that would likely change. Determination outside of Lucanis would likely become more like Compassion. He would likely forget the horrors he experienced to return to his original purpose.

So, that leaves some final questions, particularly one Hawke helpfully asked Anders- Is Spite an unwilling party in the threesome?

That's up to everyone's own morality. While both Spite and Lucanis didn't have a choice to become like this, it is the situation they are in and the way they have to find a way to accept and live with because there really doesn't seem to be any real way to change it. Through their time together, Lucanis and Spite have influenced each other and grown into something new. Part of that is Spite also loving Rook. In that way, for those who are feeling (rightfully) underwhelmed by Lucanis's romance, Spite can almost be seen as a symbolic expression of Lucanis's love.

All that being said, I think there were some small things they could have done to make the romance more satisfying over all...but I'll save that for another post.