#ffangedd

[catatombi]

beware of fang

Hey, im gonna say it outright and state that this is a call out. people get called out for being dangerous. fangs nearly pushed 3 people to commit suicide(including myself) and i had to be hospitalized because of him, so this feels justified. Im sorry if you disagree, ill keep it short and to the point If you’ve been a long time follower of his im sure you’ve seen his vague posts about his ex friends, the cotl tumblr community and “fandom drama” with little to no context behind it, other than various people appearing on his DNI. his vague nature in the posts is intentional, he doesn't want to let on that he was abusing his friends. Ive tried time and time again to write something but it never seemed right, like what he’s done to me and my friends wasn’t severe enough to warrant something like this, but it is and i don't want to let this go any longer, esp not when he has my friends, their names, usernames and literal contact information in his DNI list Over the last year ive been friends with fang hes been horrible. Hes never changed and refuses to acknowledge what hes done to his friends and how horribly he has hurt them, to keep this short im keeping this bullet pointy Here is his carrd, he has everything neatly outlined for yall to block on every platform Dont harass, dont contact. all of this is public information so https://web.archive.org/web/20240713073710/https://fanged-info.carrd.co/#boundaries

https://fanged-info.carrd.co/ Twit: FFANGEDD / narilamb_ / mewhenimsilly Insta: ffangedd / narilamb Tumblr: ffangedd / fanged-cotl / fanged-xeno Cara: narilamb Blusky: fanged / narilamb Itaku: fanged Artfight: FANGED Toyhouse: FFANGEDD Sheezy: fanged Discord & telegram: narilamb All the people mentioned have given consent Cw !!! abuse, suicide, self harm https://drive.google.com/drive/u/2/folders/1MLMOT-qvgrX-9NnUEgpl4AkEPfixy2wG

The drive is a bit out of date, as I logged it all before april. Hes posted more awful shit and vented to me again since then Feel free to request the letter i wrote to him, i might share it anyway because it sums up my thoughts on the matter If you want any additional context feel free to ask

Fang uses suicide and self harm threats to control and manipulate his friends, hes begged me for assisted suicide and when i refused to help him commit he begged in groupchats. He begged on instagram stories as well as twitter, so much so that his twitter for suspended for 12 hours. He has admitted to wanting someone to commit suicide with him and has previously formed suicide pacts and nearly followed through on one with a friend. fang backed out first. he continues to redirect blame. refusing to take accountability for his actions. He still blames his previous medications, his ex psychiatrist, his self diagnosed BPD & OCD, psychosis, and states of beings from disorders he doesn't have (claiming to be manic or sociopathic whilst not having bipolar1 or ASPD) fang blames his (ex)friends, claiming they were projecting their mental illness onto him when they were just reacting to his abuse, that they the ones in the wrong and that how they treated him/cut him off was vile and unfair, and believes that he never got real closure when he did. it just wasn't what he wanted to hear and now feels entitled to an apology from these people when all he’s ever done is traumatize and terrorize them. He describes the amount in which he has cut over pavi, wart and kat because what they put him through and how they traumatized him. The traumatizing actions were: Kat asking for a content warning, pavi didn't want to walk on eggshells anymore and blocked him without an explanation & wart blocked him after being emotionally abused for months Hes described how he would carve their names into his thigh and told me that he will carve my name into his skin when i leave too. He demanded wart and surf choose their “real friends” and cut off their community for him because fang hated that they were being “two-faced” and hanging out with “people who hate him” He would spend hours venting relentlessly and graphically in his friends DMs, demanding their time and attention and expecting immediate replies. His friends are not professionals and shouldnt be expected to be an on-call DIY therapist for him, for hours, without consent. Fang has said he is completely unwilling to self censor for other peoples safety fang has vented to a 13 year old (they were not hiding their age) He referred to me (and our friends) as a phone person, a voice, icons. Concepts he can talk. Completely dehumanizing everyone that cared about him even to their faces. He blames his ex friends for his poor mental health and has said he wishes they watched him commit suicide, he wanted his friends to be traumatized from this (as if they werent already.) When a friend posted a screenshot of a gamenight to tumblr he had a breakdown so severe and so dangerous for so long that several of his friends has to mute the DM to keep themselves safe from his verbal abuse and suicide/SH threats He doesn't care about how triggering any of this can be for someone and will subject anyone (including people in danger) to his “venting” He didnt care about triggering me and contacted me at the worst of my suicidality in january and exasperated the danger i was in so severely I had to be hospitalized against my will before I could commit suicide. 

Im honestly not entirely sure what to even think. he knew the severity of my suicidality. he knew I had been hospitalized for an attempt in 2022, and still he chose me, probably the most vulnerable of his friends at the time to vent that heavily too back in janurary Hes a dangerous selfish person whos proven over and over that hes not getting better and isnt willing to change, i honestly had hope when he slowed down his graphic vent posts and victim blaming on twitter and insta but he decided to say fuck all and get right back into his shit train of shame and misery. Heres a link to all of the screenshot, damning ones are in important bitz if you’re not interested in going through them all https://drive.google.com/drive/u/2/folders/1MLMOT-qvgrX-9NnUEgpl4AkEPfixy2wG in these screens alone he: admits to sending his cuts to his friends, threatens to cut if i leave, admits that he was going to go through with a duel suicide and begged me for assisted suicide

warts screenshots v

full screenshots & complete context in the drive as for him claims that i was stalking him: i was scared, i was his friend. i tried so hard to be good enough and never was. the screens were a by product of confiding in my friends about what was happening and the drive was made to share w/ them i admit i prolly shouldve combed out some of it but, ykno also big phat apology for tagging cotl!!!!! only did bc fang has, please stay safe everyone, and thank you so much if you have read everything (the doc encase anyone was wanting it ! figured i;d just use tumblr regular posting method) https://docs.google.com/document/d/17QjXUEdQVd8c4GZS--vPo-xR3kgmoLl4ZmN3ROMutg0/edit?usp=sharing

edit as of 8:30pm 7/17/24 here is a link to pavi's response warts response and kats response

[cotl-flower-crown]

My experience with Fang

My story in all of this is not that important, it's mostly just a petty drama between me and Fang. Please aim your support towards @catatombi and others mentioned in the original doc in their post: https://www.tumblr.com/catatombi/756286505510666240?source=share

I suppose since I'm somewhat involved in this and the other side seems to misinterpret my issue with fang, I feel compelled to explain myself. It might be a bit jumbled up, because I'm writing this in the middle of the night and I'm a bit sleepy.

cw: mentions of self harm and suicide

So me and Fanged met in a discord server that we were both in for a while. We and a few other wonderful individuals were hanging out, loving each other's art, talking and other stuff. We weren't exactly close, but we enjoyed each other's company.

One day I decided to share a story I wrote for my beloved Red District au (aka Gang au) which included an abuse scene between Grinder and Lambert. I have represented the two before as them having at least a sexual relationship (to be honest I do not remember if I ever depicted them as specifically romantic, I may have, but I cannot tell) and at the time I was toying with the idea of dipping into the dark side of the pairing. I was not trying to make it look like it was an romantic act (which that's what romanticizing means by the way), it was a scene straight up from a thriller. I left appropriate content warnings above the story. Fang saw them and read the story knowing that it would make him upset, he told us as much (sadly I do not have the screenshot to prove it, I don't know if that server still exists tbh). I felt really bad for him afterwards and it made me question myself. He later on appeared in my pms and from my perspective insinuated that I romanticize abuse, which I do not believe I did. The pms in question: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1zYN84ZT1xIAsxrQ8WvdwSlwUviT7InoB I admit it's not the best look to draw nsfw art of an abusive couple, though I would like to make it clear, the dive into the dark side begun after I was already made those drawings, I did not made them with the potential abuse in mind. With the story, I was just experimenting with how realistic can this relationship become. The au had barely any debt at the time and I wanted to make something deep. I was never really given an opportunity to elaborate on that. At the moment of the pms, I was scared for Fang, because he reacted very strongly to that story and I was worried for him and ended up backing out completely from the direction I wanted to take. Him telling me that he had 4 panic attacks over my story didn't help in the slightest. It just made me want to agree with him more, so he would feel more comfortable. I don't want to hang this over his head, because in the end it was my decision to change things in my au to fit his preferences. It could be a lot darker than what I have now, but what I have now is also good, you know. However, I'm not sure how else to describe it, but I wish I was told at the moment "hey, it's ok, you don't have to feel compelled to change YOUR story to fit MY preferences, because it's not my story, it's yours and if I'm not comfortable with this, then I shouldn't get involved". But he didn't, instead he encouraged me to keep it "clean", because he thinks that Grinder is hot and therefore he can't be an abuser apparently (sarcasm). So... whoops. It's not something that breaks a friendship tbh. I just want to let everyone know that I wasn't romanticizing abuse, because Fang's friend in their responce insinuate that I do. I don't. It was Fang who implied it. I don't romanticize abuse, I don't condone it, I despise it. But at the same time I'm not gonna say that abuse doesn't have the highs that make the victim stay by his abuser. It can be about money, it can be about security, it can be about sex and romance too. Back then for Lambert it was for all of those reasons. It was because when there were no bad days, there were the good days, great days even. Days that would make him question his own sanity, make him think that "this isn't so bad" before reality hit him in the face with a crash. Sometimes I wish I could tell that story instead of the misunderstood cat boy and a wolf in sheep's clothing. The thing is that I wasn't doing anything wrong and Fang made me think I did. I guess it happens sometimes and I don't really hate him for it, tho I wish he didn't pm me that night. I hope he gets help he desperately needs and avoids the spaces that make him uncomfortable if he can.

What really broke off out friendship was the situation on Itaku. I was following him there because I thought of him as a friend and he makes lovely artwork. I knew that he made gore artwort, but I don't hate gore, so the fact that he was drawing it in general wasn't an issue. One day I scroll through the feed and BOOM, a graphic piece "assaults" my eyes. Made me squirm a little. Very well made artwork, but fuck, I sure wish I could consent to that view. There was very clearly no content warning, because if there was, I would be allowed to make a choice on whether or not I want to see gore. So I leave him a friendly comment, something like "Nice artwork, wish there was a content warning tho" and I thought that would be it. But instead it turned into a debate that ended with him blocking me on Itaku. The debate in question can be read here: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1z0rC4gxUOzfI_qUu9BRcThOufc_uF9np I was confused and angry when I learned about it, because I ended the discussion with "agreeing to disagree" and yet he still blocked me. And admittedly in the petty glory I decided to block him back on all my social medias. I wanted to unblock him the next day, once my emotions cool down, and propose a compromise. Anyway, I log on to see that Fang left me a message in the one place I forgot to block him at that left a poor taste in my mouth and made me think "this man is full of shit and I don't want to deal with him". He tried to love-bomb me at first, specifically mentions that he wants to be unblocked on my nsfw account, doesn't really mention the other places, really showing where his priorities lay. Then he tries to excuse himself, saying that the PSA he made wasn't about me, but it appeared directly after our debate, how am I supposed to not take that as vague posting? So that was the first lie. He then mentions my art again, saying that he's gonna miss it, not me, a friend, tho I guess, I feel very valued by that, thanks (sarcasm). He makes excuses again, he "warns" me that there are a lot of medias does the same thing he does, including cotl itself, which isn't true, because most do actually have content warnings these days, including cotl. Besides, semi-realistic gore and cartoony gore don't exactly hit the same way. So that's another attempt to deflect. He then talks about how he doesn't know what he did wrong, which I straight up just don't believe him. I didn't know about the vents yet, but most of the conclusions could be deduced from the discussion itself.

Refearing to the vent posts now (they're in the link above) I never told him to censor his art. Itaku has an option to put a content warning, which basically covers up the piece with "warning" written on top and the reasons that the author can add manually. Clearly the tags are not enough, so why not use that? The only reason why Fang wouldn't want to use that tool that he was given, is that it would most likely lower his views. The line "I'm not going to de-boost my content" confirms it. I did not want to block the whole gore tag because I don't hate gore, it doesn't give me PTSD or anything, and it can be cool and beautiful when done right. Gore tag includes a lot of variety and blocking it ALL would feel like a waste. But also if your art makes me - someone who can take the blood and guts pretty well - imagine some random person, who cannot take the gore and has no idea about blocking the tags, stumbling onto your art and being met with an image of a bloody spinal cord. If there is a tool that allows you to warn your viewers that "hey, this one is a bit graphic", if I click on it anyway, that's on me. It's my choice to view it and I can't blame Fang for it. Fang, by refusing to put up a content warning, strips me and other viewers of that choice. A tag is not gonna fix it. I'm sure that those who wanted to follow Fanged for his other artwort, would appreciate the content warning as well. I said as much in the comments. Looking at it from the other side, remember that story I wrote about earlier? What if I decided not to put up content warnings? Bet Fang wouldn't be very happy about it either. So it's fine for ME to get disturbed without my consent, but when it's Fang that sees something graphic by his own volition, then he's allowed to be upset and come to me with a critique? But when I do it, then I get hit with a block? Very classy. The killjoy thing is so stupid, self-depricating humor is a thing and I was aware that my comment might be taken as less than fun, so I was trying to make a joke about it, to break the tension. It wasn't supposed to be hostile in any way. He complains that I don't appreciate him bringing his panic attacks into the discussion which are not related to the topic. If that's not guilt-tripping then what is it? Also the tweet does confirm that he blocked me because he got mad about it. So yeah, sure, PSA not being about me, my ass.

What I took from all this is that Fang wants everyone to respect his boundaries, but he's not gonna respect boundaries of others for his own gains and he will try to deflect blame, because he can't handle criticism. I don't need that toxicity in my life, so I just kept him blocked. One would assume that's what he would want as well, since he blocked me first. The nerve taken to try and wiggle his way into my graces for my nsfw doodles baffles me. I didn't hate him though, not being able to take criticism is not really an evil quality. But I tried to get through to him in the most polite way I could manage and he didn't take it. If that's too much then I can't do better unless I say "You're right and I'm wrong". If I can't express my true thoughts without him taking it as a threat to his safe space, then I'm not going to sacrifice mine for him.

And that was it for me for a while. I wasn't going to talk about this situation at all, unless asked, and people did ask. Because guess what, Fang can say all he wants about how his vent account is private, but that's bullshit. If people can see it, then it's not REALLY private. If you want to have a private space to vent, get yourself a diary. The internet is not a private space, no matter how private you try to make it. But yeah, I learned that Fang was talking shit about me, which was funny at first, until a few months later I learned from Cata about what he did to them and the others. I learned that I was one of the people he cut himself for. He cut himself. Because of this. I can be snarky and passive aggressive all around through this post, but I cannot laugh this off. This is not healthy. This isn't something to laugh about or ignore. It's not about me, it's about what Cata and the others had to go through. Learning about the self harming thing didn't feel good at all and I can only imagine how they felt through out his abuse.

Even now I don't want to hate him. That's not to say that I don't think he's not dangerous. If you've read Catatombi's call out, you know about the suicide pacts, pushing boundaries and just hurting people around him in general. He's definitelly a danger to himself as well as the people he surrounds himself with. But even then, I can get mad and sad about it, but I can't really hate him. This callout is not to hate on him, but warn others against his destructive behavior. In the end what he really needs is to get off the internet, get proffessional help and touch grass. I'm not sure whether or not Fang is actually taking steps to take care of his issues, I really do hope that he does and I cheer him on for it, even if we can't be friends anymore.

And for those who ended up being his victims, even if it wasn't intentional, I hope they can find their peace as well. That is all I really want in the end.

Now excuse me, it's almost 5 am and I need sleep. Goodnight.

[ffangedd]

⛧ MY FURSONA ⛧

[h0nkshroom]

Just wanted to say your designs are amazing!

AA THANK YOU!! I'm still very much so working on what I want to do with my Lamb and Nari but I'm glad to have finally gotten their designs out and a few ideas <3

[vanillabeenflower]

Shamoomy 💜

[owosa]

Chibi Couple Emergency Commission for @ffangedd

Thank you very much for the support!

Emergency Commission!

Patreon / Commission Info/ Adoptables pets Info / Ko-fi / COTL adoptable

[madam-monarch]

!!! ART FIGHT PART 1 !!!

[ Here are some of the first attacks ive worked on this Art Fight! ]

Also, my Art Fight: LINK

[ FOR: @ffangedd / @/Nightshades_ on Toyhouse / @/ElisCZZ on Twitter ]

[ FOR: @rabiesram / @/SluggyFox on Art Fight ]

[fanged-cotl]

★ @ffangedd 's Cult of the Lamb side blog!

★ My boundaries

★ Content warnings: gore, horror, artistic nudity, cults, character trauma and other complex & dark themes

Lambi AU

True Evil AU

Cult of the West AU

Prehistoric AU

Of Rats and Cattle AU (N/A)

[axviru]

Attack on (@/FFANGEDD on Twitter )

[fanged-cotl]

Indefinite Hiatus from the Tumblr side of the fandom + Where my CotL art will be

My BPD has spiraled out of control, to the point of poisoning people around me and hurting myself. People hurt me, and I hurt people. Badly. I have done research online enough to self diagnose- because I am self aware of my behavior, even more so now to the point of lifelong patterns of this,

but these tweets explain my behavior in an easier way.

So I apologize for my obsessive venting, assuming, states of being triggered. If I could help it I would- (I am actually! I am going to get DBT therapy as soon as possible. This will help me regulate my emotions.) People with BPD suffer from suicidal ideation, and I apologize for the ammount of S/H and sui venting I had done to push away people I held so fucking dearly, especially my favorite person.

After what happened, my sense of trust, love, and friendship has become very warped. It was already warped. It will take me a while to recover from both guilt and greif. Grieving the living. The AU will continue with artwork on my twitter: https://twitter.com/FFANGEDD I will not get rid of my coping mechanism, despite people telling me to. CotL fan art has helped me stay alive in the past and if it helps me now I will continue to do it.

Lastly: People with BPD or it's symptoms are not monsters.