#and disability wont fucking do SHIT | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

conspiracy-crows · 5 months ago

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Fuck

Just fuck

fuck the state of welfare, and social security, and disability, and the social support networks that are supposed to help people

#Fuck it all #I am so so angry #and I am so so scared #A friend felt like they had to return to an abuser #because hyper independence and trust issues #but also #BECAUSE THE STATE CUT THEIR FUCKING BENEFITS THAT WERE THE ONLY THING KEEPING THEM HOUSED #and fed #because they worked to get the little bit more they needed to make sure there was heat and meds #and disability wont fucking do SHIT #despite the seizures #and chronic pain #and laundry list of issues #and now they are states away and I can't do shit #but be a point of contact along with the friend group #that tried to avoid this #but they didn't tell any of us that they were doing this #we had a friend willing to take them in if needed #but hyperindependence and traust issues #and survival mode convinced them it was the only way #if anything happens to them #no one will ever find that fucker's body I swear to fuck #I can't even be excited for the plans I have this weekend #because I'm trying to process all of this #and not freak the fuck out #it's not working

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sneefsnorf · 8 months ago

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people on here love neurodivergent ppl until they get confused on what's satire or not. or just like. need a joke explaining to them. then theyre stupid idiot babies that are ruining the funny shit. and its such fuckass nonsense

#sneefs text #let me be clear when i mean neurodivergent i am talking about like. autism. cognitive disabilities. intellectual disabilities #amything that affects social communication #its so fucking annoying #''i love autistic boy pussy'' you call the autistic boy stupid because he displays traits of autism you dont like #''support people w intellectual disability'' you wont take the time to explain a joke theyve asked about in a respectful/non patronising way #its all surface level #AND YES OTHER ND PEOPLE DO THIS TOO. youre not exempt from ableism abd publicly ridiculing disabled because youre autistic #so fucking annoying #SORRY 4 THE RANT. I GOT ANNOYED #obviously theres lots of nuance here and i didnt word everything perfect or whatever. just thought about some of the stupid shit ive seen

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12u3ie · 2 years ago

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I love being one of the only people still wearing a mask at school. At home. I caught it in February of this year. "That just proves masks don't work that well," my mother says. Perhaps, but perhaps it's the dozens upon dozens of people around me who don't wear masks in a building with no ventilation because of the cold? One can only wonder.

#twelves rambles #twelves vents #i hate that everyone thinks its okay and normal again when its Not #'what are we supposed to do? live in fear our whole lives?' listen.#if we all just pulled our shit together this wouldve been Actually Normal like two fucking years ago #but did we? no #because people were AND CONTINUE TO BE little piss babies about wearing masks #while disabled people are DYING #FUCKING DYING EVERY DAY BECAUSE YOU WONT PUT CLOTH/PLASTIC/WHATEVER OVER YOUR MOUTH #what even the fuck man.#twelve rants in the tags #fuck all this #covid-19

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gay-fordeath · 3 months ago

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#dont call anyone im safe im fine im just venting. tw for suicide/self harm/kind of intense language. ideally no ones reading this tho #bro i cant keep living like this #i dread waking up every day so much that i dread even falling asleep #i got insomnia medication in my system and my brain is still like nope absolutely not #i cant keep up at my job even when i am rested enough #i get headaches every other day #my instant mental reaction in the face of stress is to hurt myself (i have not)#like fuck. i work for the disability department of an insurance company #i know for a fact that (probably) every contract stipulates we wont cover disabilities as a result of self inflicted injuries #which is supposed to prevent ppl from taking advantage of the system or whatever #and im always like if someone goes to the lengths of actively injuring themselves to the point of disability #in the name of 'getting out of work'#that person is not 'taking advantage of the system' THAT PERSON IS FUCKING MENTALLY ILL #AND I WOULD KNOW BC I AM ONE OF THOSE PPL #do not come for me on some shit about wanting to disable yourself being morally questionable i cant be concerned abt that rn #i gotta focus on the fact that i hate my life so much id rather break my own right hand than continue it #its an improvement from the active suicidal ideation but its still a symptom of the passive ideation #fucking hell. im too self aware so i absolutely feel like im faking it or making shit up so i can be lazy and not work and whatever #but FUCKING CHRIST theres no way. if i had a choice i wouldnt let myself feel like this.#i just got to a point where i can live alone and support myself. i was so happy and so proud of myself. I don't want to lose that #but god every phone call i have to make for work makes me want to hurt myself. every early morning (and there arent many!!! i mostly work #from home!!!) makes me wish i was dead. i have to sleep for hours after work more often than not. i cant really maintain my living space #theres fucking. mold and discoloration and shit on a bunch of my clothes and some of my bags and shit!!#cause i cant fucking keep my room clean and my basement apartment got fucking humid over the summer and so much moisture got trapped #i constantly have dirty dishes getting moldy before i get to them #i just dont have the fucking energy. i want to take better care of my space. i want to be more social. i just want to go to sleep without #fucking dreading waking up. i wanna go a full week without a headache. i want my stress response to be something other than the intense and #overwhelming desire to cut myself. if i start again i dont know if ill be able to stop and i know i wont be able to keep it to my arms/legs/#easily hidden parts of my body. last breakdown i escalated to my face and i know ill pick up from there.#fuck

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agayconcept · 9 months ago

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#wow ok so the new nurse practitioner im connected with is uh. The Worst Person #extremely discriminatory #doesnt give a fuck about her patients well being or health #wont do her job properly even when its fucking over said patients #is lazy as shit and tries to get out of doing any work whatsoever even just checking a fax #and has now screwed my healthcare over bc she's going on vacation for 2 weeks and DIDNT INFORM ME even tho i have tests scheduled #and am supposed to start meds that r extremely time sensitive #but now i just. Cannot access them bc she wont prescribe them before she leaves #so uh. ok. we're fuckin Done w this #gonna talk to my support worker tomorrow and explain and ask for a referral outside the program #which suuuucks bc that means said NP would have to do it and im sure she'll put up a fight but uh #ya no sweetie we r done w this #u hate disabled ppl and think my life and health is a joke #u have spent 3 weeks sabotaging any attempts i have made at getting adequate care and access to resources #genuinely and actually Fuck Off And Die #this is. truly infuriating i rly dont have words #like hooo boy if i had to quote some of the shit she's said and done y'all would be shocked #which is rly saying something considering the abysmal state of healthcare in most countries rn #aiyaiyai #Fuck This #i am. so so so done

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italic-doing-random-shit · 10 months ago

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punching my planner 👍🏽

#italic doing something #/neg #i just #hate it #I have a literal mental disorder/disability #That makes this shit #SO FUCKING HARD #AND JUST #YOU GET CONFUSED ON WHY I KNOW I WONT LIKE IT??#Yeah you totally understand #(Not to anyone here online

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gayboybeetle · 1 year ago

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man. man. i'd feel bad venting to anybody and i dont even have words for everything im feeling but GOD DAMN i feel like ass

#this isnt a promt for anybody to be like 'you can vent to me!' btw #i genuinely dont want to talk. i know i should but. i just cant do it man.#im really just posting this to get it off my chest #but FUCK FUCK FUCKING AAAUAGGGHGHH I HATE BEING DISABLED #i know im not stupid or wothless or a burden but FUCK DAMN SHIT it feels like it #and testosterone makes me want to hit and throw and break things but obviously i cant do that #i keep thinking that i make everyone around me miserable and i know thats not true #but everyone seems to be going through it and i cant shake the thought and FUCK #i lost $400 and im gonna have to pay all that back AND pay a $500 medical bill AND still pay all of rent #but hey! at least i cant pay for food bc my debit card was in the wallet i lost so that money is literally locked in my account 🫠#so that wont get spent! hhhh #and if i get my wallet back tomorrow im going to feel lucky and stupid for feeling this way now #but theres fucking nothing i can do!! and its not like i can help but feel this way!!!!#but god. it feels like I'll be an unhelpable depressed idiot forever. i hate feeling stuck so much.#milo.txt #vent tw #fuck me *running* man. god damn.#i know people love me i know they'd miss me if i were gone i know we mutually deeply care about each other i know i know i know #but come the fuck on milo get it in your head

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bunnyb34r · 2 years ago

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What's funny is that given the chance to go to like anime cons, I will GLADLY jump on the opportunity (as long as it's one day), but god forbid a friend spontaneously wants to go catch a movie

And at cons (when I used to go) I'm very extroverted and like a golden retriever I wanna meet and befriend EVERYBODY! but I wont go to family partys or work friends get togethers

#my thing is that if it's strangers ill never see again (or likely will never see again) im free to unmask and be ME so i act #genuinely and let myself live but i hesitate telling my extended family ANYTHING or do anything genuine (by that i mean #genuinely ME. im not like backhanded complimenting them sgdgdgg i only do that to Ryan bc i hate him and he wont #take the fucking hint) like i dont want them to know im bi even though 2 of my cousins are lesbians and one is married to a woman #(one if not both of them might be trans though but no ones come out) and like only my mom knows ab me being nonbinary (which she #doesnt really GET but thats okay shes like um as long as youre happy) and it's not even like theres any relatives left that would give me #shit if i came out but still... and like i struggle even letting them know how disabled i am despite us all having chronic illnesses #anyway id be mortified to see someone i know at a con not bc im embarrassed but bc i dont want them to know ME ME #my uncle did think my link cosplay that i made when i was 13 was really cool though sgdgdgd #one time [relative coworker] was telling our coworker ab Bean and how i make him outfits and i was standing there mortified sgdgdggdgd #Truly the mortifying ordeal of being known #marquilla

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aliferous-ly · 2 years ago

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I wanted to go to a thing but took a shower and now I have to . recover. bc this is fucking happening now . bites bites bites

#vent post #im just. i took a SHOWER. and it was too hot or standing too long and i havent had anything to eat or drink so my heartrate skyrocketed #bc im still getting used to this shit #i just want to live my fucking life the way i used tooooooo #if i wanna be there on time I gotta leave in like 3 minutes and i havent even gotten dressed so i think i have to . skip. which is fine #and wont have any consequences #except in my own head ://#im wrestling with an invisible demon that lives in my nerves #im so angry. i dont want to be fucking disabled !!! nobody fucking wants that and yeah yeah it's obvious but #its like all i can do is shake my fist at the sky talking about fairness or whatever. even tho the world is not and has never been fair.#or had any rhyme or reason to it #shit just happens all the time. i know that. but im still angry #augh

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katyobsesses · 1 month ago

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gah scare call in an hour or so i don't wannaaaaaaaaaaa

#fucking UC #and i have to ask about this upcoimg thing they signed me up for on tuesday #because there is like no info about what it is other than to do with disability stuff and access to work and employers who will accomodate #like.... i need more info than that??#is it a job fair? a talk? a seminar?#is it one on one? (doesn't seem like it)#what's expected of ME #all that good shit #and i have to ASK uhg #watch me just... not #wont be surprised if i freeze and clam up and my anxiety makes the word stick in my throat #haven't been able to watch heartstopper yet becaus im in waiting mode and i cannot watch a tv show in waiting mode what if they call #in the middle of an episode???#katy liveblogs life #and then only 2 hours later i have therapy #heartstoppers gonna have to be an evening thing today :(((

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some-random-fandom-chick · 2 months ago

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#im gonna get existential here and then reblog a bunch of shit so that neither myself nor anyone else has to see this #if any of my buddies happen to see this #this is your warning #i wouldnt wosh this mental spiral pn anyone #you eber think about how one day yoir eyes are gonna close for the last time and thats it?#no reincarnation no waking up in a new world even any dreams of a fictional reality will end once braon activity dies #and that list blink cojld happen at any moment #because i think about it! i never want to its practkcally intrusive thoughts at this point #but i do! against my will!#kinda makes it hard to sleep cause im suddenly too scared to in case i sont wake up!#and what have i even done with my life? not a whole lot #im never gonna leave my mark on history or even on my family tree #i am utterly average and ghats pkay not everyone ks gonna be exceptional with a story #but god damn ive really not done much and theres things ive wanted to do and havent and i coukd easily get on with ot #if i wasnt such a procrastinating pussy #also probably cant get legally married cause unofficially disabled people cant get married unless they want to be financially fucked #so yknow just trying to sleep so i can enjoy my date tomorrow with my fiance and my brain is pulling this shit #likely because ive been in canada nearly 7 months and i still have found a job and probably wont #and also i turn 30 in 3 months #i know i know 30 isnt old but my brain gremlins are rioting and im having a jard tome wrangling them #its hard being away from my support system #im across the world from the people i could seek a hug from #fiance fights this with logic but thag gends to just make ghis worse #and we both run warm so we cant really cuddle for long without bkth of us overheating #so yeah. brain is braining and im tired but cant sleep

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steampoweredskeleton · 3 months ago

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Ignore

#delete later #im so exhausted and stressed. theres such a lack of stability and its freaking me out SO much. im just constantly tense and waiting #for something terrible to happen. im starting to think that im not gonna get to go to the entomology thing ive been hoping #how i can't do things independently and i must have been forced into this abd rhen it'll get cruel towards my friends abd i cant #and my aunt is getting worse abd my parents are waiting for me to fail abd have to move bsck with them which i can't do bc #to go to for months bc ill probably need to use that time off for preparing to move. which sucks. ive been looking forward to it #i was letting myself get my hopes up and that was a mistake bc now im rly disappointed. im hoping i can go but honestly #idk if it'd be financially responsible. same with comic con. its in october so i can probably go but it might not be a financially #good idea. it just. the things i was counting on to be stable sources of joy are not stable anymore and that's making everything worse #and im tryinh to be positive but im so anxious. theres just so much. i need to think about packing and try to figure out #how im going to move 1-2 hours away. how am i going to coordinate with movers whilst having to get the train to meet them #im disabled and cabt help move things so only getting one person ro deliver worries me. movers arent insured to take ppl with them #theres just SO MUCH. And i can't view properties easily bc of work so im missing out on multiple places that ive been contacting #ppl about abd i couldnt line up enough for last week when i was off bc it was too short notice and i just. its TOO MUCH TOO MUCH #im overwhelmed. im trying to think of the food im gonna cook when im there ahd the armchair im gonna buy #im gonna eat so much fucking lamb and fish oh ny god im excited for THAT #i wany to just go for the shittiest place to at least have some stability and bc i still have yhat kernel of thought that i dont #deserve comfort but im trying to fight it bc i do. i deserve somewhere nice and its unfair on myself not to find somewhere nice #especially as ill be living alone. i cant go for places that have no natural light or are four stories up or are a mile away from the train #station bc that will wreck my mental health and i wont have ready access to socialising that can stabilise me. gotta be fair #to myself. but THATS PROVING REAL DIFFICULT #im doing good saving though so thats nice i guess. fuck me moving is expensive. moving when you've got zero kitchen supplies is #even more so. gonna be an Interesting first couple days in the new place.#it will be. very bad. they keep texting me asking about it and i have to be positive bc otherwise itll become a conversation about #field all that shit when im like this. i just cant. that requires so much fucking energy i dont have. and i wont move back #id frankly rather die. and trying to not say that and decline politely sucks. bc they get the look of #oh we're not good enough huh #and i can't field their fucking feelings. i either need a pause button or a fast forward. id take either one #so many of these tags ended up out of order whoops. but these arent meant to be read anyway #i just need to scream bc idk what else to do

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agayconcept · 10 months ago

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#gotta love (heavy sarcasm) my mother gwtting angry when i apply thru disability for help cleaning the apartment #bc she flat out refuses to do so and its massively inaccessible to the point where i cant exist in it #and she views me finally caving and applying for help as me 'tattling' / 'reporting' her for being a shit person #(which lets be clear- i wont comment on but uh. she does Suck w this stuff. she's the most self-serving person i've ever met)#rather than me just. uhm trying to exist #as a disabled person #without injuring myself constantly due to accessibility issues #like #how did i get here #what tf is going on in her brain #to be Extremely Clear: we have been having this discussion for 2+ years on a monthly basis #she Refuses to lift a finger and regularly makes the living space less accessible out of simply not giving a fuck #or something akin to laziness but i dont wanna use that word bc i dont think its entirely that simple #regardless of it all tho #how can u be angry at ur disabled child for trying to get extra help to accomplish something u have not been capable of / willing to do #thats what the damn service is for bro #why r we having this discussion #its buck wild #*getting #(no i wont go back and fix my typos. dont care)#like fr. how did i get here #what even. u Refuse to do anything. and now ur mad i applied thru my disability rights to get outside assistance ???#she seemed Livid that i implied she doesnt care #honey i dont have to imply it i Know it #dont get mad when u get called out for not giving a shit dude #it happens #get over it #so sorry ur disabled 20-something yr old child has rights and knows how to use em #sucks to suck i guess ???#like. what other response do u want from me

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chadepitanga · 4 months ago

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The way abusive people will suck the light right out of you

#the way my dad lectures me on my pain medication like im doing fibromyalgia meds for fun and not because my doctor prescribed it #or how he hates that my disabilitIES plural are now all officially diagnosed bc it makes him look bad so he disregards them #and how he makes me feel like shit for being late to a job marked he didnt let me join for years because he wanted me to parent my brother #like someone just died in our family. it hasnt been a month #forgive me for not doing my dishes for one day when Im tasked with washing the floors and if I dont take out the trash it just rots there #and my brothers mess ends up being my mess to clean up after because he wont and he does not seem to give a fuck that i'll be hearing it #like what does he think will happen when he cuts off all my medical support #does he think ill finally get a job because pain so hard I cant breathe will push me into it when like. I will not be un-disabled ever

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elliemuze · 2 years ago

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This sent me. 😂

#first order of business is to slap chris rock again #just to paint a picture of my own two cents (which matters nothing) do I think that was the appropriate arena for openhand justice?#lol no #HOWEVER 😆#it was 1) fucking funny 2) fuck the oscars tbh 3) as a disabled person myself GOD WAS THAT SHIT SO EMOTIONALLY SATISFYING #Im not plugged into celebs or have any real interest whatsoever in their personal lives #but based on my limited knowledge I think Jada is a piece of fucking work and their marriage is toxic af #that being said you dont shit on someone for their disability or things they have no control over PERIOD #all that does is hurt EVERYONE who shares that detail/trait in common #(I wont even get into the additional factor of insulting a Black womans hair)#and to all the clods Ive seen honking about how 'gOiNg BaLd iSnT a DiSaBiLiTy!' - its a symptom of her actual disability #anyways lol #the memes have been incredible

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dream-sans-mogai · 5 months ago

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Here's a tip! Even if you're nice to me and ask me a genuine question, im not gonna answer shit when you call others/insult yourself (jokingly) by calling yourself a "mental invalid" :)

I have this thing called a mental disability and I also have this thing called a developmental disability. Y'all think you can insult us or call us shit (retarded, slow, "special", etc.) and we are "too stupid/slow" to figure out that what your saying is offensive and is about us but we arnt. Most of us are perfectly capable of both understanding you and advocating for ourselves. So fuck you actually. I'm not gonna inform an ableist just because they didn't know I was a "mental invalid" and actually, apparently, smarter than you. :)

#clover speaks #fuck ableists #especially mental ablesits #they are so smug and they all whine about how they are using the words right #when they litterally arnt and they think se cant understand them and confront them or our allies #wont confront them and sadly they later usually dont #shocking i know but im perfectly capable of articulating and advocating for myself as someone with a mental disability #and no that dosent make my disability minor or unimportant enough to ignore it #i can do ✨both✨#fuck off ableists!#not gonna go into a ton of detail cause they were technically a minor (17 but like fuck you man #at 17 you should no better not to do that shit #and no it wasnt in the question they asked me it was on their blog #this is not my first rodeo with people who call themselves neuro spicy then make ablesit comments towards me as mentally disabled person

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