#and i have to ASK uhg

[katyobsesses]

gah scare call in an hour or so i don't wannaaaaaaaaaaa

[share-the-damn-bed]

JONATHAN & MIKE || then and now

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

ALSO. HIIII good evening <3 holding microphone up to u. i would love ur scion thoughts post-interlude!! if u have any!! i know u have Opinions on him i wanna know how the redstringing's going!!!!

OH DUDE I HAVE SOOOOOOOOOOOO MANY FUCKING OPINIONS. GOD. WHAT THE FUCK . WAS NOT EXPECTING 2 LEARN THIS INFORMATION WHEN I WAS TIPSY ON CLOWN WINE AT MIDNIGHT BUT ALAS HERE WE FUCKING ARE I GUESS. CASUAL WORM READING EXPERIENCE. FUCK

okay okay okay oka. that interlude was so fucking good it both answered some of my questions and also gave me SO MANY MORE QUESTIONS. as soon as kevin started talking about being the most powerful man in the world i KNEW. i KNEW it was gonna be some scion bullshit. at first i thought it was gonna be like some... witch from beauty and the beast bullshit where he Was Actually scion just. posing as an eccentric homeless guy out of costume. which would have disappointed me i think because i am so dead set on scion Not Being Human.

WHICH. I FEEL SO STRONGLY IN MY HEART THIS CHAPTER SUPPORTED SO WELL. when they described how Simurgh first appeared floating motionless over a city. dude. dude. my first fucking thought with that was "hey that sounds like what people say about scion." he doesnt speak. his face never moves. hes extremely powerful, so far the only person powerful to drive away the endbringers. he's GOTTA be the same type of thing they are. not human, never was human, but for some reason he Looks Human. like... simurgh does too, but shes still huge and has weird proportions and the wings. scion as far as i know is normal sized and looks mostly human besides being gold. i havent figured that out yet

having a LOT OF FEELINGS about . the whole reason scion does what he does is because some miserable man with a heart of gold told him to. side note i reallyyyy really got attached to kevin i liked him a lot :( that brings into question SO MANY fucking things about the endbringers. this is full on mac ghostiezone game theory moment at this point but. i dont know where they came from, but it seems like at their first appearance they were... susceptible to orders? and this just happened to be an extremely lucky right place at the right time moment. I cant even imagine a world where scion wasnt a "hero" and was instead a force of destruction like the endbringers. which brings up the question... did anyone else try to talk to the endbringers at their first appearances? i cant IMAGINE anyone would willingly go near leviathan or behemoth considering their more monstrous dangerous appearance . but what about simurgh? im acting on the assumption that the endbringers are some sort of Creation and i dont know what their purpose is but either option 1: someone DID talk to the other 3 and it was someone with extremely bad intentions and gave them the orders to become what they are now or option 2: nobody said shit to them and theyre acting on base instinct????? idk. im viewing the endbringers more like. animals or natual disasters than anything and i dont know if thats exactly correct to do but its how my brain works. so.

the big difference between them is that... scion acts with a Goal, where the endbringers seem more like forces of nature that dont really act with any sort of. purpose. simurgh is the exception to this though since she went out of her way to obscure the information about power origins from reaching dragon and also the way she acts makes it seem like... she Knows something. i dont know i still have sooo many questions.

im REALLY worried about whats gonna happen now that kevin gave him the new order to kill. im really worried its gonna be like a monkeys paw situation where... maybe one or all of the endbringers will die, but then what the fuck does he do after that. come back to whats her name (is it lisette?) for more orders? theres no guarantee lisette will be anywhere near as. idk. selfless? as kevin? that feels wrong. idk. she seemed scared of that situation and didnt want the responsibility placed on her so what if she avoids it and never gives scion any other orders???? will he just fall back on old programming and start killing other "bad" things???? is THIS how the fucking apocalypse starts. this has gotta be connected to the apocalypse in some way i can feel it in my bones. scion with kill orders makes me feel crazy.

[xx-sketchy-xx]

How about Eddie as Kinger? I feel like he would fit as kinger

ding ding ding ✅. If enough of you ask, I’ll post my master plan *literally if one person asks I will share my master plan lol*

[pyrrhicraven]

How long is the next chapter of the fic that is being updated gonna be?

The short answer is 1000+ as I try to write every chapter of everything I write at least around that and the long and I do mean looooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnng answer is below 🤣

The Last Knight: Chapter 16: 1,466 words (which can change as I edit it) and Chapter 17 is currently in progress at 142 words.

Brooklyn Bros: Chapter 16: Currently sitting at 182 as I accidentally didn't save the chapter 😭(Apparently auto-save got turned off somehow 😵‍💫)

The Devil's Trap: Chapter 24: 156 Honestly I wrote chapter 23 and was trying to plan out what happens next 😂so I haven't actually worked on this much.

Red Windows: Chapter 8: 505 words in 😂 Why are words hard??

Oracle Of The Void Chapter 6: 439 also writers block issues

Is it really a Harem if the Main Character is Aro-Ace? chapter 5: 100 Not sure I like the pairing might change it because it's bugging me and I haven't written much for it.

Tangled Hearts Chapter 18: 643 words. writer's block got me on this one and I just haven't come back to it.

Nova Chapter 8: I've properly plotted this one out now and am in the process of rewriting this one. Most of the chapters are so far similar and have about the same word counts but I haven't written for 8 yet.

Never Be Your King Chapter 9: I've got nothing other than the chapter title as I put this fic on pause for a bit. (Though I didn't mean for this long yikes)

Beneath The Midnight Sky chapter 30: 734 is almost done then I need to edit 😊

Ghost In The Imperial Naval Academy Chapter 4: 593 but I'm also going over the plot and thinking about rewriting the first three chapters again. Not sure if I will or if I'll just post 4 when I'm done though.

Pac-Man Chapter 16: 498. I meannnnn how do you write this nonsense?? I know how-by throwing everything out the window lol

Angel Shrine Chapter 11: sooo Adrien is making a mess, I've rewritten this chapter twice already and hate both. Both are nearly 1000 words of garbage, so yeah probably going to rewrite it a third time.

Red Shift Chapter Two: 344 words currently even though I have it all plotted out (Rare for me) I got stuck if you will lol

Unintended Chapter 20: 292 This fic has been difficult, to say the least. Like wrangling cats really.

Savage Chapter 6: 581. I put this one on hold too due to the massive amount I'm plotting/writing at any given time.

Alchemy Chapter Two: 534 I added a twist last second so now I'm plotting over this one's corpse.

Blind And Frozen Chapter 19: 316 People are not seeing eye to eye for this one so not sure when I'm doing anything more for this one.

A Phantom Caress Chapter 18: 705 at a crossroads of sorts and unsure if I want to continue or run away screaming 😂

Blood Auction: 11,813 words

UNPUBLISHED OR FORMERLY PUBLISHED BUT DOWN FICS

These jerks live in my head rent-free and have done so for at least a year hence some of them with big numbers.

Everything You Need: 4582

Haze: 12,663

Monsoon: 3,323

Vlad:1,876

Emerald Waves:2,122

Darkest Luck: 2,320

Adored by the shadows: 1,832

Life Beneath The Universe: 272

Silver Veil: 300

Untitled Super Mario: 1,265

Rise: 2,656

Hunger: 524

Planet X: 222

[jangofctts]

"Brown eyes is gonna be trademarked again"

Fucking christ i forgot how petty became. Like did rough day fans also go to Bill Burr like 'you know you stole that from rough day right?' Prettt uncool of him to just steal from Rough Day like that and not give credit. Guys he has a podcast someone go tell him off so he apologises publicly. Also forgot until now 'sweet girl' was also invented by rough day and anyone using it is just stealing.

Like I feel for the author its a tough situation to be in, to have an unexpected big fanbase that turned very toxic about defending your stort. But jesus christ i think im gonna have to just re read the fic before it starts up again beacuse I don't remember anything in it outside the nonsense and I remember enjoying the actual fic itself.

im just like—astounded and reminded by all the bs rough day put fic writers through lmfao. im having vietnam flashbacks fr 😭😭😭 like i just wanna stay away from the fic and all it’s bs but unfortunately i am part of the sw fandom so i have to bear witness to all of it lmfaooooo. like again no hate to the author i just am not a fan of the fans nor the fic really

[maleloli]

Slept through most of the afternoon when i shouldve been finishing this fucking asigment i'm so fucking tired still i can barely keep my eyes open.

[noctfury]

Another annoying thing about top surgery recovery is caring for the scar

I'm perfectly happy wearing the silicone scar tape all the time, but I kind dread washing and reapplying it everyday (I have to keep an eye on it bc the patched seem to move around and then I gotta adjust them which is annoying)

[bobmckenzie]

"our room at home" aka my suspicion that they share a room is canon. aka damn, Bob and I are never getting any privacy ever are we LMFAO. if we want to be alone we probably have to hang out in the van half the time kjhsjkdjd

[opinionatedavocados]

.

[naturallog19]

My coworker, thinking he's so sneaky stealthy: *turns his head when he rounds the corner down the hall, eyes on me and not where he is going*

Me, able to see things out of the corner of my eye and hear when the door opens: *watching him watch me in the age-old "will-they-won't-they" dance*

Everyone else at work, seemingly clueless: Yeah it's just so cool that you guys became friends so fast! You're both really neat people we're all glad you two hangout!

My coworker, so casual: *walks across the building to use the shop door next to my desk instead of the one next to his office so he can make funny faces at me like every 30 minutes*

Me, subtle as a bisexual train wreck: *just fucking walks to his office and plops down and watches him work sometimes*

Everyone else: We're glad you're around to support ~coworker~ right now, you're so efficient and hard working!

My boss, the only person to catch me slacking off in my coworkers office: Hey go with ~coworker~ on an errand for me. Don't come back for a while.

----

My coworker, brooding and pre-caffeine: *comes and drinks his morning coffee in the lobby so we can chat, makes a ton of eye contact, delays doing actual work so he can chat even if it means he has to work through lunch sometimes*

Me, twitterpated as hell: *touches his arm* *touches his arm* *touches his arm* *touches his arm*

-----

Delivery guy handing me a package: "You smell nice :3"

Me: "Thanks! :3"

My coworker, like five minutes later: "Psh what was that guys deal anyway. I mean, you do smell really good. I like it. But anyway did you think the delivery guy was cute? No? Yes? Oh. Yeah alright."

---

Coworker, inebriated: "Can I kiss you on your cheek?"

Me, trying not to actually vibrate out of my skin: "Haha i think uhhh that might be crossing a line we've been tiptoeing, idk if it's a good idea haha."

Coworker, confused and inebriated: "It would.... it would be mutually beneficial. I would get to kiss your cheek, and you would get your cheek kissed, no harm no foul! :3"

Me, losing the fight: "If you think you're getting away with just a cheek kiss you are--"

____

My coworker: *sad puppy eyes*

Me: "You said you weren't going to get into another relationship till next year so mark your calendar for NYE."

Coworker: "What're we doing NYE?"

Me: "That depends on you, big guy."

[thetangibleghost]

[song unrelated. it was just what was playing when i got in my car]

today i learned why theres violence prevention information on the back of everyones work id. Something about the environment made my immediate reaction to over hearing someone calling me special to go fucking feral. Which is funny because it was, like, a group of men and im 5'7". Would not have gone down well. not that i would ever actually resort to violence like that, i was just surprised that that was my brains immediate reaction to the issue.

[c0eu4]

Can I request something? If not it’s ok

Reader being Landos younger sister and he catches his teammate and his sister really deep into making out

OP81 | Caught ♡

Summary: Y/n is the apple of Lando’s eye. He always protected her from everyone. Well, that's what he thought until he realized that she's not that innocent... Especially with his teammate.

Warning: smut, dom!Oscar, sub!reader, Y/n Norris

A/N: I hope you were talking about Oscar when you said teammates 😔 (And if it wasn't about him, tell me so I can make another one :)

part one - part two

MASTERLIST requests are open

She walks through the paddocks, looking for her brother. Her orange t-shirt proudly bears the number 4 on the back, but is slightly hidden by her long hair.

She goes to his driver's room, to the cafeteria, she even goes to Ferrari to see if he's with Carlos but he's still nowhere to be found.

She returns to McLaren's private premises and takes something to quench her thirst. The heat is in full swing in Spain. She's supposed to go back to the hotel with Lando but it's going to be complicated if he doesn't answer the phone and is nowhere to be found.

''Lando went to the gym.'' She jumps and turns around to see who had spoken to her (even though she had already recognized the person with his Australian accent.) ''He asked me to drive you back to the hotel .'' Oh my God. Finally she will have a chance to be alone with him.

Since they met, it was like love at first sight for Y/n. She only had eyes for him. Of course, he didn't even notice her that much, too focused on race. But Y/n, she couldn't stop thinking about him. And unfortunately, Lando quickly noticed, doing everything possible to avoid the two of them being alone. Y/n loves Lando. But he's too protective. She has always had to hide every relationship she has from him, for fear that her boyfriend will run away.

''You heard me?'' He passed his hand in front of her, visibly annoyed. She feels herself blushing, stammering words. ''I..uhg..yes, yeah.. sorry.'' He chuckles. ''Am I destabilizing you, Norris?'' She feels herself blushing even more. ''No!'' She sighs, feeling shame sticking to her cheeks.

''Do you still have things to do?'' He runs his hand through his hair. How she loves it when he does that. ''No, you need to grab something before we go?'' She shakes her head as a no and he walks, followed by her, to the exit of the track. They go to his car and he starts driving.

She doesn't dare to move the whole way, too afraid to get his attention. This may be the longest car ride any of them have ever had the opportunity to take. Embarrassment is felt throughout, with none of them daring to speak.

Finally arriving at the hotel, she quickly gets out of the car and closes the door without slamming it, for fear of making him more annoying (she was traumatized because of Lando.)

He walks her to her hotel room, since their rooms are opposite each other. She searches in her pocket, then in her jacket, then in her purse. No no no no... it's not possible... she, who thought the situation couldn't be more awkward. It's Lando who has her keys.

She turns to Oscar, who understands directly. He huffs and runs his hand through his hair again. ''Tell Lando to hurry up. You will wait in my room.'' On the one hand, she's like 'oh my god, I'm going to stay alone with Oscar in his room.' but on the other hand, it's more like 'Oh no, shame, I'll have to wait with him.'

She follows him into his room. It's like hers, a simple bed, a television and a door that leads to the bathroom. Nothing very extraordinary.

''Do you mind if I go take a shower?'' She shakes her head as a no and hopes he'll take his time, just to ease the awkwardness between them.

She sits on the bed, not really knowing what to do. She sends a message to Lando, literally asking him to come save her.

Meanwhile, Oscar takes his time in the shower. Not because he doesn't want to see Y/n, but more for a masculine reason. The icy water runs down his naked body, trying to deflate his now hard member. But he can't help but think of Y/n, in the next room. He grunts, not even managing to wash his body without feeling a thrill of pleasure because he's so excited.

His thoughts wander to y/n, naked, touching herself. ''Uhg..fuck..'' No no no no. He needs to get his act together. He comes out of the shower, his member still hard. He changes and tries to hide the bump on his sweatpants as best as possible.

He opens the bathroom door and runs his hand through his damp hair. He does this all the time when he's embarrassed. And he hopes she hasn't noticed.

His first mistake when he sees Y/n again is to stare a little too long at the bottom of her thighs, her shorts revealing her skin a little more given the position she was in. His second mistake was imagining himself between her legs, rubbing against her.

''You ok?'' She asked him, her voice was so innocent. ''Uhm I.. yes.'' She chuckles, understanding that she has an effect on him. Unfortunately for Oscar, his bump wasn't hidden very well with his gray sweatpants. ''Am I destabilizing you?'' She reuses his words that he said earlier.

Oscar takes a while to respond. He doesn't know if he should say 'yes' to her and go all out by kissing her or say 'no' and probably never have this opportunity again in his life. He thinks about Lando. To the conversation they had earlier this year,''Don't even think about fucking my sister once in your entire life.''

Well. Fuck you Lando.

''Yes you are.'' She looks at him, shocked. She expected anything but that. She sits up in bed, leaning against the headboard as he moves a little closer to her. ''Since I met you, I haven't been able to get you out of my head. That's why Lando never leaves us alone together.''

His eyes widen. She doesn't know what to say. But she feels the excitement building in her body. Without thinking twice, he sits next to her in bed, placing his hand on her cheek. He surprises himself by being so confident. His cheeks turn as red as hers.

''Can I?'' He manages to say, their lips a few centimeters away. ''Yes.'' He feels her breath on his lips and doesn't wait any longer to stick his lips against hers. Her lips are soft and warm. He tastes her cherry Labello on her lips. She doesn't push him away but welcomes him with open arms. She places her hands in the crook of his neck, pulling him towards her. He takes the opportunity to slip between her legs, deepening the kiss with his tongue. He caresses her inner cheeks, his hips grinding against hers. She can't help but moan, sending shivers down his spine.

His kisses go down on her jaw, her neck and her collarbone. ''Why did I wait longer?'' He asked him, making her laugh softly. She lets her hand trail through her hair, playing with a few strands. He plays with her t-shirt, pulling it slightly, ''Can I?''

She nodded slowly, blushing even more at the idea of Oscar seeing her so naked. ''I need word, sugar..'' He whispered to her, his voice rough and full of lust. ''Yes..please..'' Her breathing quickens when Oscar's hands caresses her thin exposed waist, removing her t-shirt completely.

''Ah-ha.. Oscar..'' He takes off his t-shirt, his kisses descending on her chest. He feels her gesticulate slightly because of the pleasure he gives her.

''I..I need you.'' Oscar smiled mischievously. ''Are you sure?'' ''Yes!'' He doesn't wait any longer to undress her completely and gets up to rummage through his suitcase. He returns with a box of condoms and some lube. He places them next to her and also undresses himself.

She watches him do it, her eyes filled with love for him. She refrains from moaning at the sight of his imposing member, watching his hands slide the condom over his length. He opens the lube and drops some into his hand, jerking himself gently to spread the liquid.

He gets on top of her and she feels his member between her thighs. ''Do you want me to warn you?'' She shakes her head as a no, waiting for him to enter. He kisses her nose, pushing his length slowly in her.

The feeling is...strange? It's the first time she's felt so stretched. He gives her time, not moving at all and his gaze remains fixed on her every movement. He takes her hand and entangles her fingers with his. She uses her other arm to put it around his neck, keeping him close to her.

''You're ok?'' He asks her, to be sure that she's not feeling uncomfortable. ''Yes. And you? You're in a good position?'' He kisses her cheek. ''Don't worry about me, darling.''

He moves his hips against hers, making her moan slightly. He almost takes out of her, then goes back in with a wet noise. ''Fuck you're so tight..'' He moaned, keeping a slow but pleasant pace. He allows himself to speed up, increasing the volume of the moans that echo through the room.

He hides his head in the crook of her neck, muffling his loud moans. ''Oh yes! Oh yes! Oh yes!'' She keeps moaning, her hips moving at the same time as him.

This is probably the first time that Oscar is going to cum so quickly. He feels so good inside her. And he waited so long for this moment. The ball of excitement in his stomach is about to burst.

''O-Osc-Oscar..I'm..Uh..I..Fuck..I'm.. cumming..'' Her eyes roll back, her orgasm crashing over her like a wave of bricks. Her walls tighten around him and he barely takes a few seconds before his eyes close and he releases his hot seed in the condom.

''Did you just spill in my sister!?'' None of them have time to collect their minds before they turn their heads and see Lando, frowning and obviously very angry.

They were so involved in their lovemaking that they didn't hear Lando come into the room.

''LANDO!'' She grabbed a cushion and managed to throw it at him. Oscar withdraws from her hastily, reluctantly and pulls the blanket up over their naked bodies.

''Get dressed and Y/n, join me in your room. We need to talk.'' Lando is cold and strict in his voice. What he saw really didn't please him. He walks out of the room and slams the door behind him. Y/n meets Oscar’s gaze and they both laugh softly.

He gets up and gives her her clothes again, helping her to get dressed.

Once done, he can't help but kiss her tenderly and let her leave her room, stressed for her but also for him.

[coolshadowtwins]

PIDW!YQY goes back in time to his disciple days after he dies. He’s alone and upset, and determined to do things right this time. He won’t take a sword too early, but he will still rush to go save SJ because that has to fix something, right?

At least this time he already knows how to read and write, and the basics of cultivating. Everyone is heralding him as a prodigy, and as soon as his child body is ready, he’s taking a sword to go save SJ.

Except there is one other thing he needs to do. He can leave most of his future sect siblings alone to do their thing, and catch up with them later. There’s no point in interfering with something that doesn’t need his help. But! That slimy traitor Shang Qinghua!

He caused so many problems for them. YQY did not want him as a head disciple of An Ding, or as the peak lord, so he goes to do something about it.

Only… Did SQH always act like that? Was he always so nervous? YQY watched him almost cry as an older disciple shoved work onto him, instead of glaring and backstabbing them later. What had happened to him over the years?

What is actually happening is that YQY had known OG!SQH and this is Airplane. Completely different people! But YQY doesn’t know that, and can only assume that SQH betrayed the sect after years and years of hardship! And YQY is selfish, and very SJ focused, but even he isn’t so much of a hypocrite as to condemn SQH for something he wouldn’t condemn SJ for.

So he goes and befriends him. Mostly to keep an eye on him, and to stop him from being a traitor, but still. Meanwhile, SQH is shocked and confused why the future sect leader is even talking to him?? And what to be his friend?? He didn’t really have much of those, and maybe he liked the company, but he knew what was to happen! What was the point in getting close to YQY only to watch him suffer?

Wow, screw that. SQH pulls some strings and goes up to YQY one day and says, “Wow! Look! A mission, for us, two young disciples without swords, days away! Won’t this be fun?!”

YQY stared at the mission sheet, which looks entirely authentic, blankly. It takes them right to the town that he had left SJ in. “Where did you get this?”

“My Shizun.”

“….”

“….your Shizun?”

“…”

“Uhg, find. I might have forged it. For a vacation? It’ll be fun.”

It was not fun. But they got SJ back and ran for it and made it back to the sect in good time. Their shizun’s were upset, but they couldn’t find a way that the mission could have been forged because it was that good. YQY was suddenly glad to have SQH on his side, and is now completely convinced that he had seer powers.

Maybe that was why he joined the demons last time? Years of abuse at the sect, and knowledge that demons would win? YQY hates it, but is only more determined to keep SQH as a friend. He starts laying hints that if SQH ever meets a demon, that YQY would like to know about it! He’ll be less made if he was told, as opposed to finding out later, promise!

SJ, for his part, can tell what YQY is doing to a point. He’s just glad that YQY has actually started manipulating people to his advantage. His Qi-Ge is really growning up.

Don’t ask me what happens what SQH does come up to YQY to tell him about MBJ. I haven’t thought that far lol

[shanastoryteller]

Happy birthday!!!! More FMA!

He’s fucking tired.

In Xerxes, he’s Van Edris. In Xerxes, he’s the son of a former slave, having narrowly escaped being born into his father’s fate by virtue of him being awarded freedom by the time of his birth. In Xerxes, he’s an uncommon commodity, an alchemist with a skill that hasn’t been seen since his father fucked off to who knows where.

In Amestris, he’s Edward Elric. In Amestris, he’s the son of Trisha Elric who was born free and died free because while there are lots of different forms of freedom, in Amestris there’s one that everyone shares. In Amestris, he’s unknown and unremarkable and no one gives a fuck about what he does.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he says flatly.

This is what he gets for visiting his father’s country. It’s just fucking unfortunate that the really good alchemical texts are here.

He should have let Al (Van Altun, as they know him, even though the two of them having been using their Amestrian names almost their whole lives, regardless of what country they were in) do it. They’re not nearly as weird about him.

Pakor is alright, as far as kings go. He’s freed a lot of people, is poking at the laws of ownership that has governed his country for centuries to see if he can do anything about them without getting beheaded for it. He’s also known Ed since he was a barely able to walk, back when his father still made court appearances and brought the family along with him. Former slave against most talented alchemist in the country, and people tended to politely ignore the former. Hell, Ed’s been counting on the same thing since he was twelve.

Of course, now it’s coming back to bite him. People say he’s a genius, but if he was really smart he would have stayed far, far away from court. Like in Amestris, perhaps.

“You’re fluent in both languages,” Pakor says, coaxing.

“So are you,” he says accusingly. “We’re speaking Amestrian right now!”

Pakor sighs and switches to Xerxian. “You also speak Xingese and Drachman. You’re a difficult man to keep secrets from.”

“I’m also Amestrian!” he shouts. “And free, might I add! You can’t sell me off to slavery just to get some intel!”

“It’s not like we’ll brand you,” he says, affronted, and Ed is reminded that alright for a king is still pretty shitty. “We just need someone to do a little – double checking. To ensure the situation in Amestris is as it’s advertised.”

“You want to gift me to the Fuhrer to spy on him and you’re, what, just hoping he doesn’t notice that I understand everything and know everything and am, oh yeah, one of his citizens? I’ve been to Central before! With my luck, I’ll get recognized the first day here and then run out of Amestris! And, again, Amestris doesn’t have slaves! The leader of the country really can’t have one.”

Pakor sighs. “You’re very dramatic, Edris. It won’t be so bad. Here, I’ll say you’re my personal slave and that you’re on loan. It’ll be for cultural exchange purposes. He speaks Xingese, so you can communicate in that language without letting on you know Amestrian.”

Ed pinches the bridge of his nose. “This is a stupid fucking idea.”

“If you do this,” Pakor says, “I’ll give you the key to the royal library.”

Ed slowly lowers his hand, eyes narrowing. “I’ve been asking you to let me in there for years.”

“I figured I’d need to bargain it away eventually,” he says. “I was hoping you’d marry one of my daughters for it.” Having even light court obligations is bad enough, he’s in no way stupid enough to marry in. “You’re very difficult, you know. I’m your king. I shouldn’t have to bargain with you.”

“Tough shit,” Ed says, because Pakor may have known him for nearly twenty years, but that knowing goes both ways. Besides, he can’t piss him off because then he and Al will stop reparing all their shit bridges and infrastructure. “Fine. But if I lose my Amestrian citizenship over this, I’m going to be pissed.”

“Noted,” Pakor says brightly.

Uhg.

It doesn’t help that everything he’s heard about Fuhrer Mustang makes the man sound insufferable.

[lumibuns-blog]

Toji doesn't get mad at you

He just gets grumpy, like pouty and huffy.

When he's upset he'll squish your face and pinch your cheeks to try and get you to ask him what's wrong

"Toji hun what's wrong?" You smirk

"Nothing" he grunted, a cute pout on his face

"Then why are you sitting on the complete opposite side of our couch?"

"Well-"

"And why do you keep poking my cheek and turning away when I look at you?"

Toji grumbled, knowing he had been beat.

"Uhg how am I supposed to not be upset when that dickhead thought he could just hit on you"

"Toji that guy wasn't even worth anything!" You joking shout "He was shooting his shot and got terrified once you showed up" you laughed "who would want some looser like that when I have you"

You breached the distance between you two, flinging yourself into him, he had no choice but to catch you in his arms.

He looked down to see you beaming up at him.

'How the hell did I get so lucky' was the only thing going through his head

He squished your face in between his hands and placed a quick kiss to you lips

He held you on his chest, you were practicing being surrounded by him.

"Ya know I can't stay upset when you do that shit" he smirked

"I'm aware" you giggled

"Alright come on doll" he ruffled your hair "I'm tired now that I'm not pissed anymore, let's sleep"

"You don't get mad, you get grumpy" you smile

"Excuse me" he turned to you, a baffled look on his face.

"Alright bed time!" You beamed

Toji couldn't be mad at you, so he just let him grab his hand and drag him to your bed