#am i doing them correctly who knows
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[id: a digital illustration. A screenshot redraw of the photograph found in Lackadaisy Ingenue. It shows a group shot of Atlas with a hat in hand, Mordecai with a broken left arm, a young Ivy, Viktor, and Ruby leaning on the man. The people are coloured in a monotone tan and the background is loosely painted depicting a 1920 car and brick wall. /end id]
I've been a bit rusty in art, so I wanted to try my hand at a screenshot redraw. With that Lackadaisy became my subject matter. The original drawing is below
#lackadaisy#atlas may#mordecai heller#lackadaisy mordecai#ivy pepper#lackadaisy ivy#viktor vasko#lackadaisy viktor#ruby pepper#lackadaisy ruby#image described#one: i never know how to tag characters#like full name? first name only? show then name??#too many options#two: I fucking forgot Viktor's tail#I had it sketched out and everything#I aint drawing it now#three: can not tell if I'm getting worse at image ids or not#am i doing them correctly who knows
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happy our team makes the kitties react to EA ratings on a yearly basis on this edition on NHL 25
EA Ratings | 10.1.24 (x)
#sam reinhart#aleksander barkov#evan rodrigues#matthew tkachuk#carter verhaeghe#sam bennett#aaron ekblad#anton lundell#niko mikkola#florida panthers#mikksy was included this time I CHEERED#“i havent played video games in a while” yeah we know maffhew#same guy who said he the nhlnow channel every morning akin to morning cartoons#or the time he couldnt guess any toy put in front of him correctly#or how about-#there are many examples#matthew going “ill say like 87” yeah bud? dont make me add this shit to sib maffhew post (that is a threat)#do you know the utter comedy of swaggy seeing 94 on the table and saying ill switch with that one. and then revealing its sashas rating.#sor you already steal enough of his goals on the ice do you need to steal his rating too 😭😭😭#(sasha ofc is only too happy to oblige)#NOOOO MIKKSY SO NERVOUS HE WAS GONNA OPEN UP A BAD RATING I AM IN YOUR WALLS PLEASE REASSURE THIS MAN IS GOOD AT HOCKEY#“trying to get that higher this year” overachiever 🫵#congrats for catmin for sticking a round table in front of them so they have to manspread around them in obscene shorts very nice
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RRVerse Fandom, Please Hear Me Out...
Message to the wider Riordanverse fandom:
Please correctly tag your fanfics with the correct fandom tags.
I am getting tired of seeing non-Apollo fics cluttering up the Trials of Apollo tag (such as Percy/Annabeth. like. what. they're barely in ToA. why are they there.). If your fanfic does not deal with Apollo, Meg McCaffrey, or the story of ToA or the consequences of it, please do not tag it as such.
I have seen fics tagged as ToA and not even have the MC, Apollo, tagged as part of the cast. So please. I am begging you. Please stop. You have the Percy Jackson & the Olympians - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, AND The Heroes of Olympus tags.
Solangelo writers, you now have the Sun and the Star tag, as well as the All Media Types one. Unless it happens during or alongside something to do with Apollo & his story, please refrain from tagging it as ToA.
And no. I do not think just being Solangelo should qualify all Solangelo fics to be tagged as ToA. If anything, they should be The Sun and The Star tag or even The Heroes of Olympus tag because that's when it all began! However, if, say, it's during The Hidden Oracle or takes place in the ToA timeframe then sure! ToA tag it!
But if it's just like an AU or something that only focuses on Solangelo? Then please don't. It's not ToA then.
This is what the ToA tag looks like btw:
I know, Nico, Will, and Percy are all popular characters, but COME ON. This is Apollo's tag, please give him this! It's so hard to find fics I want to read because it's so cluttered! Apollo's not even in the top three most-tagged characters in his own fandom tag.😒
And look at the gap between the number of fics Apollo's in compared to Percy! A 354 gap! And there's 1,616 gap between Apollo and Nico! And I can say with certainty that not all of those fics Percy - and even Nico and Will - are in are related to ToA.
Meg McCaffrey, the second MC of the series, is not even on the board. And she's a very close second MC.
And trust me. I know a bunch of these fics have nothing to do with ToA. I have scoured the tag many times and have figured that out.
So please, please, please leave The Trials of Apollo tag be unless you are writing for The Trials of Apollo. We are our own fandom and frankly, it's getting annoying having to shuffle through a bunch of fics that have nothing to do with ToA just to find ones we want to read.
Fic authors, it would be such a big help if you could remove the ToA tag from your fic if it doesn't have anything to do with ToA. I know you want your fic to be seen, and use a bunch of tags to do so, but this really inconveniences the ToA fans who just want to read about our favorite loser god and his gremlin adopted sister. ☹️
Sincerely,
A ToA fan who just wants to read fics about her favorite character but can hardly wade through the fics even with the filtering system.
Thank you. It needed to be said.
#plunged into the toa ao3 tag#and returned annoyed and frustrated#so hard to find my boy#so hard to find fics for toa IN THE TOA TAG#like. please. please. i am begging you. please properly tag your fics.#proper tagging also means NOT tagging fandoms that have NOTHING TO DO with your fic#when i write my fics i tag them All Media Types and ToA#because they are about Apollo and the wider rrverse#but i've seen fics tagged as toa and NOTHING from toa shows up in them#NOTHING#no apollo. no meg. nothing.#and really apollo should be the main selling point#if he's not an important character in the fic than honestly the fic's not toa#exceptions are meg-centric fics or a character who debuts in toa#like lavinia or crest or emmie and jo or-#you get my meaning#so i've decided to throw this out there#please please please tag fics correctly. please. i know i'm not alone in this the toa fandom has a hard enough time okay do us this favor#AND YES. i know. “use the filter” and I HAVE been doing that BUT EVEN SO it's STILL difficult to find toa-centric fics!#i'm just. frustrated. it'll be a big help if ao3 writers would do this for us. please. i know i'm not alone in this#please and thank you#percy jackon and the olympians#the heros of olympus#the trials of apollo#pjo hoo toa#heros of olympus#heroes of olympus#trials of apollo#percy jackson#rick riordan
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Fucking kill me now
This disgusting man just sneezed openly in the airport like threw his head forward, uncovered, messy nasty ass sneeze into the space where tons of people walk by and I'm having a fucking panic attack
#we have masks but my daughter won’t keep hers on#I also have a personal air purifier#who knows if that’ll do it#I’m so fucking disgusted and panicked right now#what the actual FUCK is wrong with people!!!!!#and in this entire international airport I’ve seen less than 10 people with masks#most of them the basic surgicals that don’t do jack shit#half of them weren’t wearing them correctly which leads me to believe they were told to wear them (due to illness?) and just half assing it#I am so fucking disappointed in our society#when will we fucking learn#I hate this timeline
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if the reading comprehension of some people who do make dead plate text posts is so bad (as i've had at least two people tell me in the tags) then maybe i SHOULD start analyzing every little detail in the game.
#dream's textposts🖋️#and I'd be so good at it too. i am so fucking tired of people viewing rody as an innocent cinnamon roll#for one that is a grown ass man who's pushing 30 or so. and did any of you actually read his dialogue? i know he was snarky at LEAST once#especially when vincent said he had no taste when he was meaning it literally and rody said smth like “yeah i saw the decorations outside”#that's not even all of it either because he has so much to mention regarding vince's taste in interior design for his apartment#PLEASE let rody be an asshole. it's good for him. he's intended to be a character written realistically and with nuance. vincent too#i think this one is obvious but he didn't even have to burn the bistro down technically but he did that anyways. stop watering him down#on the opposite end stop making vincent fully an asshole. be fucking for real. yes he's bad. guess what though. he has morals#why else would he view serving his customers dishes with human meat in it with so much disdain? he's not gonna do that#“yeah but HE ate people” Out of desperation. yes. he wanted to test if he could taste again if he ate someone. so what.#it does haunt him afterwards that he'd basically murdered two people in cold blood and nothing came of it#manon isn't fully innocent either because she caused the game to take place in the first place but even then she had a motivator for it#and it was reasonable. im not going to bash her for what she did when she broke up with rody because it was necessary so he'd improve#im pretty sure the rebound with vince is what really messed everything up though. overall the story was well put together however#i think most of the fandom's problem is not catching up on implications. those really make a story good if used correctly#especially with evidence! i mean we never even get to see an actual dead human body in dead plate but we KNOW manon is gone#i don't know i just love small details and foreshadowing and implications it's very fun to unpack them in a plot#i even technically have a lot to say about rody and vincent's respective apartments and what it says about them as a person and how it fits#im kind of nervous about posting it to tumblr but whatever. i'll have to clean it up and post it whenever i think about it#if you got this far then congrats. i don't even know if people read tags anymore
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saw a tiktok that was like. Daily Affirmations: my work crush doesn’t like me. and now i’m like wow i wish i could send this directly to all of my new high schooler coworkers. who are all really annoyingly obsessed with our one male manager because he’s The Chill Manager. you may have seen me refer to this man before (it’s different when EYE love him because we are the same age. the high schoolers being obsessed with him is weird as hell and he DOES need to stop encouraging this) back in winterspring i was doing a lot of opening shifts with him and i was joking that we had the king and lionheart dynamic. which was real at the time but not so much the vibe now just because like. the vibe has shifted idk i work different shifts there’s different other managers i’m technically promoted there’s all these new people i don’t care about. the vibe is different. anyway. don’t care for these high schoolers and their obsession with him. especially because they’re like actual assholes sometimes to my friend managers… (they used to just work here and then two managers left and they got promoted) (i also technically got promoted at the same time but they rank above me and do more shit that i don’t want to do so like. obviously i’m not bitter or jealous about it. like if i had to manage a bunch of teenagers that didn’t respect me i might cry every single day) (which is happening to one of them fr. they’re literally such assholes to her sometimes it’s crazy like she’s not even as mean to you people as she should be…) not to side with like. The Man or whatever but unfortunately i’m not a teenager with a part time job i go to when i don’t have soccer practice so i cannot relate to the proletariat in this situation… like i knowww they’re seeing my girl as Bitch Manager and it’s making me hate them soooo bad. like you idiots can’t even fold jeans correctly!! i hate you!!!!
#literally the past three nights i’ve been working overnight with just the 2 friend managers and we’ve been having major bitch sessions#about these high schoolers…. sorry if this makes us bitches!!#maybe if more than 4 of them were literally any good at all at any part of their job we’d hate them less idk…..#like. if they sucked less it would mean i’d have to do less work. like girls work with me here im sick of covering your asses…..#can’t even put things back where they’re supposed to go correctly…#like why am i finding clearly marked clearance jeans mixed in the stack of full price ones…. stop pissing me offfffff omg#sorry again. but the next idiot teenager who asks me where something goes and i look at it and it’s clearly marked as clearance is going to#make me lose my mind for real. yes i do need a different job i know that im aware of this#the problem THERE is that all jobs look awful to me <3#and there’s genuinely nothing on earth i care enough about to make it a career!#i genuinely need to become a trophy wife and stay at home mom. like there’s no careers for me i fear#i don’t mean that in a ‘submitting to the patriarchy’ way i mean it in a ‘the only thing i’ve consistently known i want in my future for my#entire life has been kids’ way#anyway. having a job where you’re the fifth most in charge person there and third on an average day. makes you evil fr
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this is exactly what i hate about myself
#i cant speak without feeling selfish#so many things i do afterwards especially tonight i feel cringe or shame at how i talk and sometimes it doesnt click instantly and i just#everybodys closer than me. everybody is irreplaceable. everybody is valued more. what do i have to offer. what can i do that proves im not#another character in their entire story#why am i so shallow? why cant i feel genuine emotions and when i do show them properly without the fear of vulnerability?#who is this person#why am i me? why do i exist? why cant i do anything right?#you say you love me but youll never love me because i dont know who i am and which side is real.#im stuck#but this isnt about me#vent#happy birthday#i love you a lot even if i cant process it correctly#i hope youre happy genuinely#and that kills me too
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Karlach is very very nice tree and I am a squirrel heh
If you need help with the game just ask because before BG3 I had no idea about the playstyle either-
god yeah me too, i want to climb onto Karlach's back and hang from her shoulders she is my favorite and i love her
thank you!!! i'm very slowly getting the hang of it (not that i'm good by any stretch), but i'm having fun!!
#not genshin#wifi plays games#bg3 update: so far i am having a splendid time#am i playing it correctly? absolutely not#do i know what i'm doing? also no#but i am having fun and that is what matters#i just dealt with the hag#trying to make sure there's nothing important left before i either take the mountain pass or underdark path#team so far is me karlach wyll and astarion#the little vampire twit gets shuffled around like hot potato#because he always disapproves of when i'm nice to people but his rogue skills are way too cracked#i'm going all in on romancing karlach#the rest of us can be friends but other than that please stop trying to. well. do things#just wanna hug and kiss and snuggle with the tiefling pretty please#also as someone who is ace some parts of the game are... interesting! it's a different perspective i suppose#i DID make sure to only knock out that drow lady one of my friends kept insisting on it#i immediately stole her shoes and weapon afterwards#my main character is a druid dragonborn#i sort of made them in a rush since i was playing with friends initially yet somehow i've already come up with lore for them#long story short they're mute and nonbinary and a bit of an airhead but are very nice and loving#they and karlach do gentle headbonks#also wyll's fireball spell has been titled the abraca fuck you spell#having fun!! if anyone has advice or just wants to chat about it my inbox is open :]#good evening :)
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┊ ⋆˚ about this blog !
— first and foremost, this is a male reader blog !!! i only write male reader inserts, the usage of she/her pronouns will never, ever be applied to any of my works that involve an insertion of yourself into the scenario. that being said, i don't really think i can/will enforce that those that read my work are only those that use he/him prns. so let's say, if those who use she/her pronouns decide to read my work, i won't purge them off of this page (i don't think i spend that much time on here to even do that) and burn them at the stake. all i very POLITELY ask is that: you don't interact malignantly with me or my posts. i don't tag my work "x fem reader", only "x male reader" and "x reader" so there shouldn't be any worries of my work "cluttering" (<- lmmmffaaoooooo) your tags of "x female reader"
— of course this ^ can be subject to change and become stricter if i start gaining negative attention from fem-alligned readers. so NOT SAYING IT'S SET IN STONE because that how i feel about this just right now.
— i plan on using this blog to just broaden the reach of one of my fanfics (keep safe) with the occasional posting of a smau/modern!au post every now and then.
— every now and then i might post a yandere drabble, oneshot, headcanon, etc just wanted to put that here since i know that it's not everyone cup of tea and wanted to disclaim this. some of the yandere headcanons already exist on here, but i think (i hope) i tagged it all appropiately....(i hope)
alright, that's all thank you for reading <3 jaime
#if this post sounds too idealistic i wouldve even know because i dont know the “culture” on tumblr regarding who interacts with what#im just going to assume that people with half a mind to think about what their preferences are and what they like know what to interact wit#and what not to interact with#anyway hopefully this actually makes sense and isnt just a bunch of word vomit to u guys#i look forward to publishing more on tumblr!!! i hope it can be a fun experience for all of us#<3#hopefully i can write for more animes instead of JUST one piece#i think i remember enough about jjk to do something for them as well#SHOUTOUTT#oh and if someone wants to educate me on the tagging system here i am welcome to any tips / tricks#because i think im using them correctly (ihopeihopeihope)#but if im not — PLEASE LMK
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benzo withdrawal bad, medical bullshit makes it worse
where is my jbp inspired withdrawal coma
#people who work the front desk at medical offices are satan incarnate#and always have been#as well as the worst at their jobs#i dont have nice things to say about med front desk staff ever actually#they are in fact the worst#i am doing so poorly because of surprise random withdrawal because they wont do their jobs correctly#i sound like a republican talking head when it comes to front desk staff and i dont even care#ive literally watched them fuck off and ignore their jobs at length i know they could put in one effort
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i wish i could fully trust myself and say it was a good interview, but i legitimately have no idea
#i just don’t know if i answered all the questions correctly#i don’t know how i feel about my answers#and i had to ask them to repeat a couple of questions#which isn’t like the worst thing#but one of the times was directly after i said a good leader listens 😭#ok i have to remember that this is just a job and if i don’t get it it doesn’t mean i’m a failure or anything#it just means it isn’t right for me right now#but i am gonna get the job! i did interview well! and i’m going to be in a good place in the fall!!#everything will happen exactly as it should#see? the doubt goes away just like that#fuck you doubt!! i’m good at what i do and i can be successful no matter what#i was honest with a sales pitch-esque vibe!#i spoke truthfully about my flaws without harshing them too hard#i got there early! to show that i’m driven!#the only reason i might not get it is if there’s someone who interviews better than me#but that doesn’t speak badly on me!
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I don't really understand why, in-world, people think satoru is an enigma? Personally, i feel like I don't always understand him because I don't always understand people, (let alone characters about whom we know about the same amount of information as the group of people around him), not because he's supposed to be a shonen hero and then is just a goofy, spoiled, stretched out teenage boy who is a little more careless than you wish he would be.
#I am never sure if I feel this way because readers are almost always victims of dramatic irony?#(or I mean characters are... since we who are not in the book understand them best but when we can't save we can feel like victims)#or if I am correctly interpreting the biases that prevent many of the characters from understanding him?#myy oc has biases too of course and part of the fun is outlining and exploring them#and I do genuinely know Satoru is Weird. Part of it is the close-to-enlightened thing. there's a lot of stuff he just doesn't care about#not in a way that is purposefully negligent#but where it just doesn't phase him? like I don't think he even holds grudges like normal people#it all flows through him#and it could be really weird when this is the same guy who also has a specific talent for annoying anything and everything#because he also knows how to get under people's skin#maybe he's just so sideways from what normal people expect#or that most people just don't think that much about others' motivations? don't step that far outside themselves?#because again having known people with this type of personality#it can be incredibly refreshing to be around someone who doesn't take things personally#and also doesn't care about a lot of worldly concerns/societal niceties#and is not telling anyone what they “should” do in the context of social norms#jjk#from the margins#io.myy#gojo satoru#maybe the message is i need to stop thinking about him
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i actually cant do this
#im literally the dumbest person i know#everyone else works so much harder and they get so much done#even the way they talk is motivated even if they say its not#everyone is so smart and im slow and cant get anything done correctly or on time#i wish i got straight a's i wish i had something to prove myself#all i have to go on is numbers that dont even matter because nobody takes them#im just some lazy piece of shit who happens to be good at test taking#i dont know anything#im failing my clasdes again#i can barely keep myself above a 3.0#how much time will it take to get me fixed ???? everyone says its a slow process and you have to find what works for you#but i dont know what works for me and neither does anybody else#every therapist i talk to is at a loss w wht to do with me#am i trying ??? am i worse off than i thought????#i tell myself i can function like anyone else but i cant even prove that#im undeserving of what i have#i get stressed when anythinf good happens to me whrn other people would kill for this opportunity#God strike me down ive wasted my years here i cant keep this up#i ddont deserve the painful death i want#Haha okay im over it
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Because it is the anniversary of his death, I wanted to share a small story about my grandfather.
Before I knew that I was intersex, I identified as a trans man. And I went the way any trans man has to go if he wants to transition in my country. My parents thankfully were supportive but I was afraid to tell my grandparents. My grandparents were German and lived/were raised during the third reich. While both of them never said or acted in a way that suggested that they had fascist views (my grandfather was until he died part of a leftwing political party), but there still was this fear in me. "They are old, they grew up surrounded by abhorrent beliefs...". And then there was my aunt. Who would constantly claim that my grandfather was homophobic.
The problem was, back then, there were no openly out gay people in our area, so I never got the chance to see my grandfather interact with someone who was queer. So I just believed her. Because she was so insistent on it. And because it confirmed my fears and my brain loves to be constantly afraid.
But I knew I wanted to come out. I had to, eventually, because I had stopped my estrogen treatment (back then, I did not know that I got that because I was intersex) and went on testosterone instead and first physical changes began to show. We all lived in one big house, so my grandparents would eventually notice.
I was so afraid that my father at some point offered to talk to his parents. I waited outside in the hallway that led to their kitchen and listened.
My father explained, easy to understand, that I was going to transition from female to male because I felt terrible in my body. My grandfather asked, "Is that why the child* is so depressed all this time?" I had been in and out of multiple clinics for manic depression at that point. My father gave a yes. And my grandmother made the incredibly selfish comment, "Can't that wait until I am dead?"
Before I even got time to be upset, my grandfather slammed his fist down on the table. I had never seen or heard him do anything like that before. He was a very calm and collected man who preferred to leave the room before he got too angry. "No, it can't wait. The child gets to get well now. And if that is what is going to help, then it needs to be done."
From that day on, he never used my deadname again or used the wrong pronouns for me. Sometimes, he would stop in a sentence to think and remind himself, but he did always address me correctly.
He celebrated with me when my name was legally changed. He built the bed frame for me and my boyfriend's bed when we moved in together, just like he had built the first adult sized bedframe for me when I outgrew my small bed. He drove my boyfriend to his chemo sessions because my grandfather also had cancer and knew how terrifying it was to go alone.
Did he fully understand what it means to be intersex? To transition? No. But he understood that one of his loved ones was suffering and that he could help to alleviate that pain. And so he did.
He taught me calligraphy. He taught me how to sew. He taught me bookbinding. He gave me many gifts.
But the biggest gift he gave me was, that when someone hated me for what I am, I could stomach it. Because this man was willing to unlearn the bigotry he had been taught for decades so he could love me for who I am.
*in my grandpa's dialect it was normal to refer to children as just 'the child' (genderless)
EDIT
I was blown away by how many people have reblogged this post. I believe my grandfather would be very happy to see that he can give some hope and love to others even now.
I do not want him to stay faceless; so here is a piece of art I made for his obituary, with a slightly altered quote added now.
Dahlias were his favorite flowers. Orange ones especially. They reminded him of the home he had to flee from as a child.
#giwa:others#giwa:queer#lgbtqia#lgbtq#lgbt ally#actually intersex#i dont know what to tag this#this just needed to be out of my system
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I wasn't prepared for how wanting a hug from a friend that's thousands of miles away would feel like a stab in the chest. They don't tell you that shit hurts and you can't do anything about it
#light vent#personal rant#vent except its mostly in the tags#vent#dare i say i wanna feel *safe*. dare i say i wanna be *warm*#who else out here yearning to be loved like you're truly worth something#there was a time when I was little that i wouldnt fall asleep unless i was bein held. cant go back to that without rlly having someone there#they don't tell you how isolating it is to only be able to hold friendships online. I think there's just something wrong with me#I dont get to feel warm and loved and safe irl. i cant remember the last time i did#i should be able to walk into my friends rooms and annoy them bc we know no ones really angry. BUT NO. other side of the country or canadian#i should be able to show them reels in a silent room where we laugh every so often but it's quiet otherwise#I should be able to give them random rocks I find but no#and i hate knowing im one of the only people who cant seem to hold a friendship irl. i wanna know whats wrong with me so ppl dont leave irl#what is so wrong with me that i cant love correctly? why cant i say i love you back? why does my chest tighten and i get scared? why why#its not fair?? theres gotta be something wrong with me for ppl to not like me irl i text first im nice i engage in their interests i help em#what am i missing?? we hang out for so long then BOOM ghosted. they were so cool and fun but no matter how many times i did anythin. NOTHING#i cant even say it's because i didnt get a cue or anything because they were autistic/adhd/disabled too. i didnt do anything mean did i?#i feel like im missing something that makes people human or something because i never know what i did and no one ever says i did anything#am i doing something wrong? do i like things wrong? do i love wrong? do i laugh wrong or smile wrong or talk wrong I DONT UNDERSTAND#the only place i feel safe and loved is with my friends online. they're *safe*. I'm not scared to laugh or talk. I feel at home with em#i havent felt at home in a while. they're all *home* to me. im glad y'all convinced me to make a server.
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I just realized DST happened apparently?? And also my birthday is this month (fuck). I will not be announcing the date and hopefully will not be mentioning it again other than this One (1) Time bc it fills me with conflicting feelings of Dread and Longing so instead I prefer to just forget the whole concept. one day a year
#you tell your family you like dragons. ONCE.#the first ten years is pretty cool.#after a while it's just “another dragon 😬 cool thanks”#but that's not enough#the Autistic Kid still has to Perform Gratitude and Fawning for almost TWO FUCKING DECADES#before they put their foot down and say ACTUALLY PLEASE DON'T GET ME ANYTHING THANKS. NO NOT EVEN SOCKS.#[i got the socks. they were dragon socks. they thought they were funny]#“But it's about loving and appreciating you enough to give you a gift you should be thankful!!”#ACTUALLY MAYBE IT'S ABOUT CARING ABOUT THE *PERSON.* AND CARING ENOUGH ABOUT THEM TO PUT LITERALLY ANY EFFORT IN#anyways i also hate Spotlight so choruses of “Happy Birthday!!! 🥰” is like acid rain on my skin#i just HATE the social expectation that even if you barely know/care about someone#you're Obligated to throw them meaningless materialism and they're Obligated to perform Gratitude#the whole ritual is fucking stupid#and I haven't figured out how to navigate it in a normal way that's somewhere between “NO bdays EVER” and “maybe a *lil* bday”#personal#oh my god i blocked so much of this out. i re-remembered#trying 'fine. cake only NO presents' for a while. and they literally Could Not Do That#'i cant just get you NOTHING' 'you may gift me an empty box if its that important to you???'#'OMG why would i do that?' because the Birthday Person requests No Presents For Their Birthday#and apparently Your Need To Give is more important than the person you're giving it to and what they are comfy with and enjoy?#so No Presents. 'Fine I won't get you anything! here's a gift card to a restaurant you've never heard of / are not interested in'#another present 😬 cool thanks#[i am then insulted for not performing correctly. and must APOLOGIZE by. you guessed it. performing correctly]#anyways i only hate *my* birthday#i have no problem whatsoever with birthdays or others' birthdays and im too poor for material gifts so :)#they get what they get :) but it will still be personalized to the person and their interests :)#bc if i know them/care enough to give them a present on their birthday#im gonna make DAMN sure it's AT LEAST RELEVANT TO THEM CURRENTLY AND NOT WHO THEY WERE IN MIDDLE SCHOOL#and tbh it's probably gonna be baked goods anyway. and i ask for their faves first
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