#im failing my clasdes again
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i actually cant do this
#im literally the dumbest person i know#everyone else works so much harder and they get so much done#even the way they talk is motivated even if they say its not#everyone is so smart and im slow and cant get anything done correctly or on time#i wish i got straight a's i wish i had something to prove myself#all i have to go on is numbers that dont even matter because nobody takes them#im just some lazy piece of shit who happens to be good at test taking#i dont know anything#im failing my clasdes again#i can barely keep myself above a 3.0#how much time will it take to get me fixed ???? everyone says its a slow process and you have to find what works for you#but i dont know what works for me and neither does anybody else#every therapist i talk to is at a loss w wht to do with me#am i trying ??? am i worse off than i thought????#i tell myself i can function like anyone else but i cant even prove that#im undeserving of what i have#i get stressed when anythinf good happens to me whrn other people would kill for this opportunity#God strike me down ive wasted my years here i cant keep this up#i ddont deserve the painful death i want#Haha okay im over it
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really just wanna die
#but even death takes effort#i haven't gotten more than 2 hours of sleep for the last 2 weeks#i dont feel like getting out of bed ever the only reason i get up us to go to clasd#so my parents dont get pissed but the moment i get home im back in bed#im falling back into the cycle and i just wanna die honestly#literally its the only thing i can think of#its intruding my mind#its always there no matter what im doing#and like i really wanna yk?#i even like thought out and ik once theres a solid plan my dumbass probably won't stop#but like if i fail again its gonna be so embarrassing#and also ill have missed class which 2 are with assistance so is it really worth it#idk#rant
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