#what is so wrong with me that i cant love correctly? why cant i say i love you back? why does my chest tighten and i get scared? why why

[8-rae-rae-8]

I wasn't prepared for how wanting a hug from a friend that's thousands of miles away would feel like a stab in the chest. They don't tell you that shit hurts and you can't do anything about it

[star-girl69]

Music To Watch Girls To

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Demigod!Reader

—-

sypnosis: is it wrong to be obsessed with clarisse? obviously not!!

a/n: i cant just write a drabble what is wrong w me it’s always gotta be a full fledged fic damn anyways i don’t like this one that much so don’t crucify me, but i hope you all enjoy!!

Music To Watch Boys To - Lana Del Rey

warnings: FRIENDS TO LOVERS GOOD LORD, all clarisse know is be mean to her friends, like girls, and lie, reader is a little insane this time…., it’s not watching clarisse train bc i got struck with inspo but you all will like it dw, there’s still muscles and watching clarisse fight, swearing, violence, mentions of weapons, reader is an honorary ares cabin member bc i think it’s cute and i do what i want, y/n gets hurt like 20 times ITS FOR THE PLOT OK, kissing!!!!, like angst for half a sec not rly tho, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

The only word you think of when you think of Clarisse is fuck.

It describes your feelings about her so accurately. The first time you saw her, you knew you had to have this girl. And the first time you heard her talk, she was calling some Hephaestus kid a dumbass for not fixing a dent in her armor correctly.

She was an asshole, a bully, whatever, and she was also the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. But, thank the Gods you became close friends with her brother Matty, and then Carrie, and then you practically knew everyone in the Ares cabin like your own siblings.

Even just friendship with Ares kids is an intense rollercoaster.

They admired your for your deadly skill with a bow, a few of them even openly claiming you were probably the best at camp. They were loyal and fierce, protective, funny and everything you could want in a replacement family. Your mortal parent went down a dark road after your godly parent went back to Olympus, and you had never felt that love that everyone craved.

Clarisse hated you at first, like she does everyone, until one day at the bonfire you were sitting with her and a few of her siblings, the fire was hot and it was never the same. You still remember her eyes on you, feeling intoxicated under the moon. Besides, the nights are made for secrets.

And it became a tradition.

You would look at each other next to the fire, and never speak of it again.

The rest of the time, she was like any friend. That same loyalty, focus, but sometimes you could swear she seemed to look a little longer.

After the arrival of Percy Jackson, Clarisse was especially on edge. She was supposed to be training, but she was instead sulking and ranting to Matty and Carrie.

“And he really thinks he killed that Minotaur? Doesn’t matter. That’s what everyone else thinks.”

“Talking about the new kid?” you ask, sitting on top of the picnic table next to their cabin.

“Oh, yeah,” Carrie mumbles. “Talking all about the new kid.”

Clarisse stops her angry pacing to send her a harsh glare.

“He’s just a baby, Clarisse.”

She slams her hand down on the table next to you, pointing her finger in your face.

“He’s a liar,” she hisses. “I’m gonna make him admit it.”

“Hm, okay,” you say, pressing her foot against her stomach and pushing her back. “And that’s totally logical. But have you considered that he actually killed the Minotaur?”

“I’ll punch you.”

“Oh, you love me, Clarisse,” you smile, sweeping your arms out in a big circle. “I’m the brightest part of your day.”

She glares at you.

Matty coughs to hide a laugh.

“Just ignore him!” you say. “I don’t get why you’re so obsessed over him anyways.”

“I’m not explaining myself to you,” she huffs, stubborn as ever.

“Okay, Clarisse,” you say, drawing out the words.

You miss Carrie and Matty shooting each other looks.

—-

Chiron announces the next capture the flag game later that day, and the next morning you’re heading off to the Ares cabin with your bow and armor in tow.

You walk in. They’re all adjusting their armor, polishing their weapons. A few smile at you and wave, but you head straight towards the back. Clarisse is there, helping some of her younger siblings pick out weapons from the secret weapons stash the Ares kids have curated over the years.

It’s Danny’s first game. He’s only twelve.

She looks up at you for a moment, which is about as much acknowledgment as you’re gonna get. You sit at the end of someone’s empty bed, right next to Danny.

“How you feelin’?” you ask. His face is twisted into a stone cold mask.

“Excited,” he says, like he practiced it in the mirror.

“Well, I’m scared.”

He looks at you and frowns.

“You’re the best archer in camp. Matty says so.”

You shrug. “I may be the best archer, but I’m nowhere near the best fighter.”

He nods, thinking hard like the whole world is suddenly starting to make sense.

“Hey, if I promise to keep a look out for you from the trees- will you watch out for me on the ground?”

He doesn’t need your assurance. He’s a child of Ares, they’re prebuilt with the lust for battle. But you know how to play all of them like a fiddle. They like feeling important, and he’s only twelve. It doesn’t hurt you to give this to him.

You stick out your hand and he grabs it.

“Deal.”

“Deal.”

“Y/N,” Clarisse says. You realize she’s been standing there for a while. “Are you here to distract everyone or for a reason?”

“You know, I would welcome you into my cabin warmly.”

Her face remains stone cold. Danny runs off. Clarisse can be some sort of halfway nice, but rarely, and most of the time everyone just knows her cruel words, her ruthless tactics in battle, and her misleading words and smiles.

“You’re no fun,” you pout.

“You’re the one who sticks around. No one’s holding you hostage- you can leave.”

“I need a dagger.”

“Oh,” she says, blinking. “Wow, you actually came here for something? What happened to yours?”

“Broke,” you shrug. “The handle fell off. Weird, whatever.”

She hums, looking through the daggers hung on the wall. “This one.”

She hands it to you. It’s similar to your old dagger, except a lot sharper and a lot more sturdy. But it’s the same style you’re used to. You wonder if she knows that or not- Ares kids do notice everything.

But for Clarisse to actually do something like that with intention is rare.

“I like it,” you say. “Thanks!”

She hesitates for a second.

“Keep it.”

You look at her. “I can give it back.”

“I already told you to keep it. Don’t be pathetic and make me reassure you.”

“Okay, Clarisse,” you roll your eyes.

—-

Your position on capture the flag is always the same.

Carrie, Matty and Clarisse hunt in the woods on the ground, and you get thrown up into some random tree to shoot arrows at anyone you see.

The idea is, they see the arrow coming from up above and look to the trees, only for Clarisse, Matty and Carrie to ambush them on the ground.

It’s only the third game you’ve employed this tactic, so the blue team is starting to catch on.

After Chiron gives his speech you could probably say yourself, you head over to the three of them, holding your arm out to Matty and the red bandana. He ties it around without saying a word, Carrie reaches over and scolds you for not tying your armor tight enough.

“Blah, blah, blah,” you say. “I’ll live.”

“Yeah,” Carrie snorts. “Because I fixed it.”

“Shush,” Clarisse hisses. She finishes talking to a few more of her siblings, and they take their companies off into the woods. She turns back around. “I have a different plan today.”

Carrie and Matty grin dangerously.

There’s something in between the three of them, some sort of matching glint in their eyes.

“Okay, did I miss something? Why are you guys being so… scary?”

“You’ll see,” Clarisse says, her eyes dark.

Gods, it’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen.

—-

The great thing about being up in the trees is you get to see everything.

You get to see the way Clarisse grins while she fights, the way she whips her spear around like it weights nothing, the way sweat forms at her brow- and the way her muscles flex. That’s the best part.

Her arms, her legs, her stomach, every part of Clarisse is just lean and toned muscle.

It makes you want to betray yourself in a way that would permanently embarrass you.

You follow them, of course, even though you have no idea what the hell is happening or what the plan is. There’s a reason she’s not telling you the plan. Why?

When you walk past the woods where you normally hunt, you start getting fidgety.

“Ok, guys, seriously. Tell me what’s going on.”

You realize you’re heading towards the side of the big hill, starting the climb up through the trees and rocks.

Clarisse turns around.

“Stop. Worrying.”

You grit your teeth. “I’m not worried. I’m just confused.”

She sighs, signaling to Carrie and Matty.

“You know,” she mutters. And they leave, so it’s just the two of you.

They spit up, making their way on the farthest two ends, all leading to the same ledge.

She grabs your wrists. “Stop cracking your fingers. It’s annoying, and you’ll hurt ‘em.”

“Then tell me what’s going on.”

She lets go of one of your wrists, but keeps her tight grip on the other, forcing you to keep pace behind her.

“I’m not gonna tell you again, Y/N. Don’t worry. I’m not going to put you in danger, obviously.” She laughs, as if the idea is ridiculous. “You’re a damn good archer.”

“Oh, my Gods. Did you just compliment me?”

She tenses up, finally realizing she did it.

“D-don’t let it go to your head.”

“Oh, I won’t. It will just be our little secret, won’t it?”

You bite your lip as you smile so you don’t burst out laughing.

“Sure,” she mutters, and you don’t miss the way she stares at your lips. She clears her throat, finally letting go of your wrist. “Percy Jackson-”

“Who’s a baby.”

“-attacked us last night.”

You raise an eyebrow, walking next to her. “Did you attack him first?”

She doesn’t answer that.

“I doubted you would join us. I just didn’t want you to be alone in the woods.”

“Why?”

“Hm, I saw Annabeth as we left the bathrooms. She knows, she knows we’re gonna get revenge so Luke’s gonna go straight for the flag because we’re not in the woods.”

“So you’re just sacrificing the entire game for revenge? Against a 12-year-old?”

“Revenge,” she mutters, thinking over it. “That’s a fun word.”

She smiles, looking at you.

“Oh, Gods,” you mutter.

—-

The rest of the walk continues in silence, until you can see Carrie and Matty in the distance, both waiting for Clarisse’s signal. She grins.

“Now, why don’t you just stay behind me and draw an arrow, and tell me if anyone’s coming. And when he’s distracted, you’ll sneak around behind him and block him from escaping, hm?”

You look around the forest. “Okay. But, Clarisse-”

She smacks her hand over your face. “I don’t need your morality right now. I just need you to keep those pretty eyes open and be our lookout.”

“Fine,” you hiss as you throw your hand off her mouth.

“Thank you,” she smiles, sarcastically. “Was that so hard?”

You mock her under your breath, but she signals to Carrie and Matty. They all start walking forward, trying for stealth, but your feet make sink into the gravel. He hears them. He sits up.

You don’t know anything about Percy Jackson, except for the fact he supposedly attacked the three musketeers you call your friends and possibly killed a Minotaur.

True to your word, you stay behind Clarisse, watching as she lifts her helmet off, throwing it to the ground.

Her spear sinks into the dirt.

“Flag’s that way,” Percy says. “It’s not here.”

“We know.”

You start walking out from behind her. His eyes flick between all four of you.

“Yeah, glory’s fine.” You can feel her eyes on you. “Revenge is more fun.”

She looks up at her spear, slamming it down, and you hear the familiar crackle as it lights up. Red hot electricity.

She laughs a bit.

He scrambles for his sword and spear, forgoing his helmet. They close him in. You walk around Carrie and behind him. His eyes move between you and Clarisse, but there’s nothing he can do to stop the four of you from surrounding him.

“No maiming. It’s like the one rule.”

His stance isn’t even close to correct.

“Yeah, I guess I’ll lose dessert privileges for a while,” she fake frets, looking up at her spear. She smiles and looks back at him. “I’ll live.”

Her face twists into a mask of focus and she swings out at him. He manages to dodge her first hit, and block the second with his shield.

She looks at Carrie and Matty. They lunge forward, attacking him together, and he certainly is a demigod- he has a natural talent.

But you can only really focus on the way she lifts her spear back over her head.

She grunts and spins, shocking him, before jabbing forward at his armor, making him fall back over the log he used to be laying on, right at your feet.

“I’m actually not interested in maiming or killing you, believe it or not,” she says, standing over him. “I just want you to admit you’re a fraud. It’d make me feel better. Are you feeling up to that yet?”

The way she holds her spear, the way she says it’ll make her feel better- you miss the way he swings out with his shield, hitting you in the shins.

“Fuck,” you hiss, leaning down to touch your burning leg. “Oh, fuck, that hurt.”

Percy grunts and takes off running.

“Y/N,” Matty says, a silent question in his concerned voice.

“I’m fine,” you mumble, shaking your leg out.

Clarisse glares at his retreating figure.

“I guess he has a fucking death wish,” she whispers, voice full of a deadly promise.

She grunts and launches herself over the log, Carrie and Matty following. You straighten yourself and take off running after them. You leg does burn, but you still manage to keep pace. Besides, Matty is already far ahead, surprising him and knocking him down from the path, making him tumble through the woods and land on the beach.

Matty and Carrie wave their swords at him from the right. He pants and breathes heavily, backing up, but when he turns around to run- Clarisse is there.

You draw your bow again, out of habit.

The arrows you use aren’t actual arrows of course, but filed down to little circle rocks at the end. They won’t kill you, but they fucking hurt.

You can’t help but giggle as he falls onto his back, scared just by Clarisse being there.

She laughs too, before all three of them launch into an attack.

They push him back, towards you, and you step back with them, waiting for the perfect moment.

But your eyes drift up to Clarisse. She’s hanging back for just a second while Matty and Carrie jab at him. She looks… proud. She looks really fucking proud that you’re laughing at this 12-year-olds misery.

But Clarisse was right. Revenge is fun. And you hate it, but you can’t stop it.

You smile back at her, and it’s like those nights at the bonfire, you know you’ll never speak of it again. It doesn’t matter. Right now, there’s angelic music playing in your head, and you’re watching her. You’re watching her, the sweat on her brow, the way her hands clasp her spear.

Her face twists into something else.

“Y/N!” she shouts, but Carrie and Matty pushed him too far, you didn’t move back enough- distracted by her- and you slam into each other, a tangle of limbs and metal.

He does this awkward sort of flip over you, landing a few feet behind you. You drop your bow in favor of catching yourself, and it gets caught on his shield and dragged along with him.

It’s a blur, you yelp as you go down, Percy groans.

They’re all standing there, tense and watching the way Percy stands up with your bow in his hands. His stance is nowhere near correct, it actually makes you cringe more than your bruised side after the fall.

Why the hell are you the one who keeps getting hurt?

Percy let’s out a breath. “Why don’t we all just walk away and forget this happened?”

“You just made that impossible,” Clarisse hisses.

You just want to get an ice pack on your leg and sit down. You’re tired. You want to boss Clarisse around as payment for bringing you here.

“Okay, okay, just stop. This is stupid, all of you. He’s, like, 12. He didn’t do it on purpose, you’re just attacking him for no reason.” Carrie and Matty look at the ground. Clarisse glares at you.

You turn around and face Percy. “Just go, okay.”

He looks between you and Clarisse.

“O-okay,” he breathes.

You can feel her move, hear her footsteps in the sand, her spear cutting through the wind. She comes around you, and Percy gets scared, so he raises up the bow and let’s it go- pointed straight at her face.

But it never hits her. It hits you, of course, because you have the worst luck in the world.

It hits you right in the chest, and it doesn’t kill you, but Percy is strong and it knocks the wind out of you.

Clarisse throws her spear to the ground and catches you, screaming your name at the top of her lungs.

Gods, this was so stupid. All of it. He didn’t mean to hurt you, he meant to stop her from attacking him. Because Clarisse is bloodthirsty. She cares about no one else but herself.

You were stupid to think she ever did.

But even through all of this, everyone treating you like a rag doll, you stare into Clarisse’s eyes. She’s frozen. She’s watching the rapid rise and fall of your chest, she’s watching the way you press your hand into your chest, trying to breathe, she’s looking at the fear in your eyes.

You’re terrified. And Clarisse looks the exact same way you feel.

You mouth her name.

Carrie and Matty are gathered around you, telling you to just breathe, take a breath in, but you can’t.

Clarisse let’s go of you and ignores your hands trying to hold her back, ignores Carrie warning her.

Oh, Gods, you’re in love with her and she’s just your friend, but it all hurts and you just need her right now.

Percy tries to scramble away from what he’s done, but Clarisse grabs him by his shirt and holds him up.

You think she’s actually going to kill him- then the conch sounds.

You all turn around.

The blue team runs to the beach, sticking the red flag into the ground. They all cheer loudly, Luke and Chris at the center of it.

Clarisse throws Percy back down on the ground.

She picks up your bow. Matty helps you stand up, you can breathe now, and you’re really fine. You just couldn’t for a minute. You don’t look at Clarisse, even though you want to.

—-

The four of you end up at the sword practice field, sitting on picnic tables like you did that one day.

Matty touches a few scratches on his arms from where he burst through the woods, scraping himself on something thorny.

Clarisse walks towards a dummy and starts attacking it. She lets all her anger out on it. They didn’t win, and her revenge is incomplete so, its not even worth it. You could have told her that from the beginning, but whatever.

Clarisse can do whatever she wants. She doesn’t listen to you, she doesn’t care about you- not as much as you want her too. Not as much as you care about her.

She’s so wonderfully in her element it makes you want her more. This is where she belongs, in the field in the sun, with her spear in her hands. She belongs here, where she feels closest to her father and farthest away from her responsibilities, from the constant battle it is for her to keep her emotions in check.

Even after a minute of her obliterating the dummy, she seems better. Finally, after another minute, she slows down until she stops.

You don’t stop looking at her until she turns around and looks at you. She breathes out.

“Are you okay?” she asks, sitting down on the opposite end of the bench.

“Fine. Just got the wind knocked out of me.”

She hums.

“C’mon, Matty,” Carrie says. “Let’s go back to the cabin, I’m thirsty.”

You’re not ready to get up yet, you’re too comfortable here on the bench, it’s too easy to breathe in the valley.

Clarisse flexes, stretching her spear over her head, and you watch her. Of course you watch her. You don’t think you’ll ever just be able to look at her in passing- you’ll always have to focused, you’ve always have to have your eyes totally and completely on her.

Like she’s some book you have to study. Like she’s all you’ve ever wanted to look at.

“Stop staring at me, weirdo,” she mumbles.

You sit up straighter. “I’m not. You’re just flexing dramatically all over the place, of course I’m gonna take notice of it.”

“Okay, sure,” she taunts, and you remember what happened, you remember how you felt when she walked away from you to continue with her revenge.

“I-I’m gonna go back to my cabin.” You don’t wanna be around her, not right now at least. “See you later, Clarisse.”

She stands up immediately. “I’ll walk you.”

“No, thanks, it’s fine.”

“Y/N, you got hurt because of me.” She crouches down and tugs up your pant leg. “How’s your leg? Your side?”

Matty, Carrie and Clarisse too, sometimes, are always touching you and doing things for you. It’s sweet. They aren’t good with the words, but they show you they love you, and that means more than anything else.

If she hadn’t done what she did, if she really cared about you, then you wouldn’t mind her touching you like this. You would love it.

“Clarisse- get off of me,” you shake your leg out, which hurts a bit, but she lets go and stands up.

Her face twists into one of anger, her fists clenched.

“I’m sorry, okay. I’m sorry you got hurt. I feel really bad about it, so just let me do this for you.”

“It’s not about that,” you mumble, cursing yourself and hoping she doesn’t hear you. Of course she does.

“Then what’s it about?”

You try to turn away, but she clamps her around your wrist and tugs you back towards her.

“What’s it about, Y/N?”

She holds your hand to her chest.

You both know what it’s about.

“Just stop, Clarisse,” but your body betrays you and you make no move to push her away. She notices, of course she notices, and she pulls you closer. “We’ve been dancing around each other for months.”

She blinks and her grip on your wrist loosens.

“And it was fun. It was a fun game, okay, Clarisse. But you can stop playing it now. You showed me today that your care more about yourself then you ever could me. I’m sick of it.” You tug your hand away. “I’m so sick of it, Clarisse.”

She grips you tighter again.

“What the hell are you talking about? I’m running around looking like a fool, and you think I care about myself? You think I don’t care about you?”

Your breath is a little shaky again.

“You could have helped me and you chose revenge.”

“For you.”

“What?”

“He slammed his shield into your leg, knocked you over, and then shot you in the chest. Of course I wanted revenge. Not for me, it was about that at first, but then, Gods, did you do something to him?”

You laugh. She smiles, staring at your face like she’s seeing you for the first time.

“Like, he just kept coming after you, I don’t get it. But I… I like you. Like, like you. And I don’t know what that means, but I don’t really care. I just… want you. I want to be near you all the time. And I go crazy when you’re with someone else. I want to touch you all the time, hug you, hold you… I want to kiss you so bad I think I’m gonna fucking explode.”

Fuck is always the first word you think of when you think of her. It used to be because she made you so angry with the secrets, but now it’s just the things the says make you wonder how much more you can fall in love with her.

“Well, I don’t really want you to explode,” you roll your eyes. “That’d be too messy. Besides, I-”

“You’re always such a fucking worrier.”

She plants her hands on your face and presses her lips to yours. You can feel the slight desperateness she won’t say, but she’ll tell you with her body. You can feel everything she won’t show, won’t say. How beautiful you are. How scared she was. How much she wanted you and for how long.

You feel it all just by her lips, and you can’t help but wonder what more she can tell you.

She pulls back and smiles.

“If you tell anyone about this, I’ll deny it.”

“I’m the light of your life, Clarisse.”

“Yeah,” she agrees, grabbing you tighter and kissing you again. You grab onto her arms, smiling. You always wondered what he muscles would feel like against you.

There’s only one word to describe the way it feels.

Fuck.

—-

clarisse when she accidentally told y/n she has pretty eyes: PLEASE DONT NOTICE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

y/n my ladybug not noticing: 🧍‍♀️

—-

y/n and clarisse just being insane together WDYM YOURE LAUGHING WHEN A KID FALLS OVER STOP

—-

clarisse: bitch stop WORRYING

y/n: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME SHUT UP

—-

clarisse and y/n both pretending that clarisse giving her a dagger wasnt literally a declaration of love and also clarisse throwing her spear down to catch y/n???? bitch she’s in LOVE

—-

taglist:

@jazhandzzz

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss

[beowlet]

Hello I SAW THE OPEN REQUESTS AND I SCROLLED UP SO FAST!! I love your work sm, you really captured the essence of the characters + talking abt the love languages was a fun bonus too. Is it fine if I request the Housewardens (or some of them) with a reader who loves to send them letters?💌 But their handwriting is very unintelligible due to it being a chicken scratch/the most extra cursive you could ever see. Either way works, thank you!! ❤️

[Omg i love this]

HOUSEWARDENS WITH A S/O WHO LOVES TO SEND THEM LETTERS, BUT THEIR HANDWRITING IS HARD TO READ.

Headcanons

Cw: Uses of you instead of pronouns, fluff, GN!Reader, NOT proofread. Again.

R. Rosehearts

I feel like Riddle's hand writing is cursive too and wouldn't have too much trouble reading it even if it was a little extra so we'll go with chicken scratch handwriting for him.

He loves that you write letters for him, he really does. He always tries to send one of his own too! But he would love it more if he could actually understand what you were saying.

He can only make out two words, his name and "love". He always writes back in hopes of having understood the letter correctly. Because if he read something wrong and you pointed it out he will die of embarrassment.

HES TRYING

LEAVE HIM ALONE OKAY

He will slowly get used to it and become a [name] translator. He would be so proud too, he finally understands your handwriting and can ACTUALLY read your heartfelt letters.

He blushes and giggles like a highschool girl all the time.

Anytime anyone has trouble reading your hand writing they will go to him. Mostly Ace and Deuce after they ask for your notes.

Wishes your handwriting was a little bit more readable, but he's happy he got the hand of it now.

L. Kingscholar

Definetly knows how to read cursive but will pull a "wtf" face at all the extra shit you put because what is this. Is this even english anymore?? He can't tell if thats an "R" "M" or "N"?? What the fuck did you write?-

Look, he appericiates the letters. But try not to make him think hes having a stroke while reading it. Please. What is this? Why? Is there anyone in the world that can read curaive like this???

Will out right just text you.

Will feel bad after he finds out it was just a letter where you were talking about how much you loved him, expect him to buy you a buqoet of your favorite flowers soon.

He feels bad.

Will soon probably understand some of your letters and thank you in text form.

You thought he would write back? Oh honey no. This man is too lazy to get up on his ass and sit down on his desk to write. He might make Ruggie do it for him tho.

However if you were mad at him thats a different story. He might write a letter... along with a few more gifts... maybe...

Anything for you to forgive him.

A. Ashengrotto

Ik this man has so fucking extra cursive writing like how and why. Why do you need that many loops for one letter IT DOESNT LOOK PRETTY IT LOOKS CURSED AZUL.

I'm kidding it def looks pretty... so for Azul we're going with chicken scratch!

He would be so confused if he saw a letter just hanging around in his office, and it's a letter that he cant even read. He'll just be confused standing in his office trying to read it. Not even realising that you signed it, he was still trying to read the first word.

After a while he just gave up and called for Floyd, knowing his handwriting wasn't any better and assumed he could read it.

"Dear, Azul. I know I don't have to write a letter because I can literally just text you but I thought it would be fun to write a letter where I explained how much I lo-" "NO OKAY GIVE ME THAT BACK-"

Floyd is telling Jade so they can both bully Azul for being so stupid and not being able to read his own lover's hand writing.

He wants to know what it says so he can write back a letter... but he doesn't know anyone that would be able to read it without teasing him.

Spends a night trying to read it and writes back a letter.

Is about to sob when you send him another one, HE LOVES YOU BUT HE CAN'T READ YOUR LETTERS SPARE HIM PLEASE.

K. Al-asim

He would love the idea of sending eachother letters! He thinks its romantic and even if it's a little silly you write to eachother even though you could visit eachother any time of the day he doesn't care. It's cute. Very.

I don't think he can read cursive... he knows he has to learn but he's struggling. A lot.

I also don't think Kalim has very neat or very chaotic handwriting that nobody can read it but I think it can definetly get a little messy in his notebooks sometimes. So, cursive with extra stuff for Kalim!

He would explode with happines when he finds a love letter sitting on his desk with your name on it. He's over the moon.

As soon as he sees it he runs over, picks it up and opens it to read it. Only to be met with a page full of loops. A lot of them... an awful lot that Kalim thought you just scribbled the page for a momment.

First he's determined to read what you've wrote without asking for any help from Jamil!

Yeah that lasts like 15 minutes he goes to Jamil a little quicker than he would like to.

He tried! That's what matters... right?

Jamil spends about 15 minutes trying to read the first few sentences before FINALLY understanding the letters and reading it to Kalim. Kalim just sits there with a love-struck stupidly cute smile as he listens to Jamil readint the letter.

Is definetly writing back a reponse and making this a thing between you two.

Jamil has to suffer through your sappy letters as Kalim makes him read all of them.

Help my boy he isn't exactly happy.

V. Schoenheit

He can read really any handwriting perfectly no matter how extra or "awful" it is. But if it's just a page filled with random lines and so called letters mixed together I'm very sure he'll pull a "wtf" face :D Chicken scratch for Vil!!

He appericiates the thought! He really does! He's increidbly happy to recieve a letter from you! But why. Why does your handwriting have to be this way? Why like just why?

Do you need help? He can definetly give you writing lessons on how to improve your handwriting. He can pay for it if you think it would be embarrassing to do it with him, he can find online course-

He would think all of this but never mention any of it. He doesn't wanna break your heart.

But I think he'd def have a lot of fun trying to read your handwriting when he's bored. He would sit down and try to figure out what was written like it was some sort of puzzle and would just smile happily everytime he got a full sentence.

He would give you a kiss for every love letter he recieves <33

Would he write back? Not all the time but would write once in a while about how deep his feelings are for you.

M. Draconia

Homeboy here has been alive for a bit over a hundred years I think he's capable of reading many different types of handwriting. But imagine his shock when he finds a one he actually can't read.

Malleus is a little old compared to humans we all know that, this man has seen lots of different types of handwriting but he's definetly used to different types of and extra cursive handwritings. So we'll go for chicken scratch for him!

I feel like he'd be the first one to ever send a letter in your relationship honestly! When he recieves back a letter our fae boy is smiling happily as he excitedly opens the letter only to pause and... try to read whatever language that is.

Will go to Lilia. Like, immediately. He is definetly going to make fun of you after that. No way Lilia is letting something like that slide especially when Malleus came to him all confused.

Nobody can tell me Lilia isn't used to terrible handwritings and can just zoom through what seems like gibberish.

Malleus will listen as Lilia reads the letter for him and he can just feel himself falling deeper and deeper for you.

He wants to see you afterwards immediatelly. He is now clingy, wants hugs, kisses and every kind of physical affection you can give him.

So what if he teleported to your dorm and is currently towering over your bed? Give him the love he deserves!

[dark-raven-666]

AHHHHH CAN WE GET MR HOOD BEING A GENTLEMAN WITH MC??

+ and... like mr hood punishin mc for not getting a word correctly 😊

I CANT FIND ANY DOMESTIC +DOMINANT MR HOOD FANFICS ANYWHERE 💔💔

Mr Hood x reader sfw + nsfw

A/N: I know this took time but I've been in a rough patch in life. This has both sfw and nsfw headcanons and a small one shot following each.

The reader is AFAB (mention of female genitalia in nsfw and mention of period in sfw)

Feedback is always appreciated! ♡

If you feel uncomfortable with the following please don't read and I hope to see you on another fic. 💕

Warnings: (nsfw only) spanking, denied orgasm, fingering fem receiving.

SFW

To begin with it, he would be very kind to you, if you're looking for husband material then you've found it.

Minus the part that he does not know what love is.

We can see that when you're small he carries you around. Let's say you're back to your regular size. He will be the most gentleman ever. Opening doors for you and helping you carry stuff.

The first time you ever get your period he freaks out.

Blood? Blood = injured. Are you injured?!

Proceeds to ask about it, getting you a bit shy.

After an hour you explain it to him. He doesn't get it fully but he gets the idea that you're not in any real danger.

You lay down on the bed in one of the rooms of this odd realm. You had gotten your period and your cramps were killing you. Worse of all you had to trade three fingers for some tampons/pads from Mr. Gap. They have already grown back but the blood from that and your period is taking a toll on you.

Looking up at the ceiling of the room you sigh. Why now? Why did you have to be a woman?

Them your knight in shining armor walks in, well knight in a hood but you get my idea.

Sitting on a chair beside the bed he puts his hand on your belly and strokes circles on it as if soothing the pain. It helps a little but still you're in pain.

"You.. Pain?* he asks. His hand still rubbing circles. He receives a nod from you.

"Pain.. Where? " he asks this time, clearly wanting to help.

You gesture to your head and your stomach. Now his free hand reaches up to pet you. He had never been this soft before.

He lays his head on your stomach and speaks.

"Pain... Go.. Away... Me... Call.. Nurse? "

You only shake your head and answer back. "No need, I just need to rest. "

He nods and rests, if he had a face you would assume his eyes were closed. So soft.. So gentle... Both of you finally sleep.

NSFW

He's such a great teacher, yet you've both agreed on a punishment if you get a word wrong.

A spank on your beautiful bottom.

He would bend you over his lap after the lesson and spank you for each mistake you made throughout the lesson.

Why not just spank you after each one? Why all together?

Because he loves to see you turn red, eyes filled with tears and moaning.

At some point you decided to make more mistakes hoping for the punishment but he catches on fast. This time he asks you to lower your pants as usual but he lays you on your back.. That was new.

Grabbing a ruler he would hit your sensitive bud. You like being punished so much? Then you should like all kinds of punishment.

Bent over on the hooded man's lap you naked butt red and swollen with his hand mark on it you cry out again.

It hurt so much and you loved it. He was fully dressed and not saying a word. Only punishing.

Your tears spill again as you begin for mercy. You had been dripping with arousal and need for the man.

He then looked over the paper that you had filled in. You had done well. Perhaps you deserved to be rewarded for the few words you got right. He gently pushes one of his long fingers inside you. God they were long.

You let out a gasp at the cold feeling and mutter out a series of thank yous..

He moves his finger in and out of your sopping heat, just to add another finger.

His fingers curl up and find the delicious spot inside of you. God he felt good. After long minutes of torture you feel yourself closing in, reaching down you try to run your clit just to reach that high. Then SMACK! His fingers are outside of you delivering a harsh slap on your bottom.

"Did not... Say you can touch." He tells you.

He then sits you up and pulls up your panties.

Your punishment was that you would not get to cum.

He then leaves the room and you're left confused. Had this action upset him so much.

Much the less you walk back to the room that you made yours and lay on the bed your underwear wet. You let a sigh and just at that time Mr. Hood walks back in with a tray that had a water bottle, clean panties (you don't want to know where he got them from) and wet wipes.

He hands you the water and takes off your wet panties. Then with the wet wipes he cleans your thighs and privates. The cool sensation felt so nice in your abused folds. He then slides on the new panties and let's you rest, he pats your head and walks out.

He didn't know how to show love and affection otherwise, but he knew that you needed help after that.

At the end of the day you still didn't get to cum but you found that he has a nice aftercare side.

[ender-cloud]

JASPER MY KING 🙏🙏🙏

Spilers under cut

There was none last week because it’s been really busy last week and this week, but I just felt like I had to

Lyn brought up that Jaspers inspirational speech is happening at the same time as Hyde’s breakdown and now it’s all I can think about.

“Guys we must face this hard ship” vs “HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT” is just a really fun image in my head

“YOU should be upset” instead of WE, this mean that Jasper actually isn’t mad at Jekyll because he does Understand.

I wont go into to much detail because I already did in a different ramble

I love the lodgers expressions, they don’t show up often but when they do the absolute most characterization is shoved into them

The last page too, they get no time but when they do they leave an impression

At first I was expecting Jasper to say what we all already know, but adding some new information lets us know both how chaotic the society is and how much Jasper has gotten to know about everyone and how he has come to really be apart of the society

The lodgers also seem to respect him, he was able to get their attention despite their frantic nature and they actually seem to be listening to him

He is a voice of Reason in this confusing time, reason that most of the lodgers seem to be lacking at the moment

Jasper has grown from the shy, quiet new guy to a more respected and valued member because of the one on one work he did with Jekyll that helped him learn more

Jasper has been more open to speaking his mind, first with Jekyll, then Racheal, and now all of the lodgers, He has the qualities of a leader, even if he may not personally think so

I hope I am not saying all of this just for the lodgers to not listen in the end 🙏🙏🙏

I dont really have much to say about this Panel, It just made me chuckle and I felt wrong not including it.

As more updates are made the more I like Victoria, she’s just so interesting with everything and I love seeing her in different situations with how she acts to them

Anyway Back to Jaspers speech

I feel like this was really the best way Jasper could’ve ended it, bringing back the whole reason why Jekyll had made the society; a safe community where Scientists could go and be protected

A place where they could help each other on their research, find lab partners and eventually find patrons

Also the thing about Risks and experimentation, Jasper has a point, you wont always get your experiment right, just like Jekyll; he wanted Hyde to be seperated from him, and it didn’t work out 100% correctly.

And people DO get hurt, both emotionally and physically, while the lodgers are all betrayed about what Jekyll has done it is very likely they would’ve done the same

No one wants to admit when there wrong and no one wants to admit defeat, it’s something we see with both Jekyll and Frankenstine many times, hell, it’s something we have all experienced in our own lifes.

While many people would probably understand what Jekyll had done and was going through if he told them sooner, he was scared. He’s the leader, he cant just admit that he made a mistake, he feels like he needs his perfect reputation.

That is why Jasper is trying to get the lodgers to understand, he is making them realize why Jekyll had done it, and while it might’ve not been right, they all know they would do the same

Jaspers words are powerful enough to hopefully convince the lodgers and redirect their anger for now and have things simmer down for a bit

[fankitcanuwo]

What are your thoughts on boss, as a character?

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE BOSS AS A CHARACTER

SPOILERS FOR "CHARLIE IN UNDERWORLD" BELOW AS I GO ON MY TANGENT

Edit: I wrote like a whole A$$ essay under here so uh- just be warned 😭 sorry for the long answer @leahisnowlosinghersanityx ! Can I call you Leah? (Mainly a joke since your user is long haha ^^')

(I really love silly ghosts okay?)

(I'm a little rusty in the story, and I am replaying ciu recently, but I haven't gotten past the second(?) Chapter yet, so please forgive me and correct me on any mistakes I might make ^^')

OK, so. Boss to me isn't a bad guy, so to say. He has flaws and makes PLENTY of mistakes throughout the series.

In Underworld office, Eugene first meets Boss when he saves his life. At first he seems cold and distant. But my first impression of him when I was playing the game (for the first time) was that there was something deeper going on behind his defensive walls.

And as the chapters went by, it proved true for me when I saw how soft he got around the other's and Eugene. He even got angry for River's safety and Eugene (unintentionally) putting her in danger. He does care for the people of the underworld office, and he will continue to do so, even after the end of the second game.

Over the course of the first game, I became VERY fond of Boss, especially with his arcs with the others. (Like Eugene being a surrogate son to him, and the relationships between his friends)

As for the deeper parts of his character, over all, I believe that Boss is a deeply troubled character who has a deep sense of self loathing.

In the monster Eugene ending, he describes that Eugene, angry and wanting to lash out with vengeance, reminds him of himself, and tells Eugene there might be hope for him still, taking him into the team with the others, though all of them are pretty upset in ANY ending that Eugene is no longer mortal.

Boss does not see himself in a positive light. Or at least, not often. And it shows here, as well in a lot of other places too! Especially if you know where to look.

In "Charlie in underworld", we get more knowledge and insight into boss's life before he was a ghost.

(Again, I'm rusty on the lore, so please correct me if I'm wrong)

Boss, back then, didn't veiw himself in a positive way either.

When Boss's "friend" (I put friend in quotation marks because I don't think Boss considered him a friend, even if the man was trying to be his friend) was recently married. He brings up the wedding to boss, either why he didn't attend or other reasons, I can't remember.

Boss seems bitter about the fact that he himself can't seem to find a single person who would be interested in him. The man feels bad, and I don't remember much of the conversation, but I believe that Boss was bitter about this, which is why he was so closed off.

While we didn't get a true name for Boss, i believe he was reffered to as a shaman of sorts, which is also interesting.

Throughout the flashbacks, We see that for the majority of his life, if not all of it, Boss has been pressured by tradition (I think) and family, the weight of which is always on his shoulders. If I remember correctly, his family in specific protected a ancient area in which was one of the MANY gateways between the afterlife and the mortal realm.

I believe that his mother shamed and disgraced him for being unable to find anyone to marry, or to get a wife, to which I think (correct me if I'm wrong) BOSS APOLOGIZES FOR. (Which ticks me off- but it's fine)

he is tasked to protect the cave alone for the rest of his life I believe- but I also think there was more to this.

I probably missed this, but apparently (again, correct me if I'm wrong, i cant remember this well) Boss encountered a man/ghost during his time in the military (which also probably changed him) and promised that he would try his best to bring his son's spirit to rest or something.

Boss died in the cave he was protecting, and he kept protecting the area (or maybe other areas like it) even after his life was over.

After he shares his memories with Eugene and Charlie, I believe he explains himself more, which brings to light that he still blames and faults himself for everything in his life. To which, as Charlie, we have the option to call out that all of that is BS and it wasn't his fault thst so many things went wrong in his lifetime, but also calls him out on his selfish actions. Which I agree with strongly-

OKAY- now that I'm done with the boss biography, I'll actually start getting to my point. (Sorry guys)

Boss kept the ghosts of the underworld office around mostly because he was lonely. He was desperate for company and companions, and so he selfishly kept them from their own journey in the afterlife so he could continue doing his job with company. Even going so far as to essentially hold River hostage by keeping her keepsake away from her.

By no means are these actions excusable, what he did WAS terrible. But in the end, he did regret it, the entire time. He had just let his fear and anxiety control him. In fact this shows constantly.

When the others in the group constantly talk and confidently say that "he is never wrong" and "boss is always right", Boss tends to simply reply with "...". Which I interpret as his guilt, because HE KNOWS he's lying to them, and he isn't always right, but decides to say nothing.

And while River is overpowering Boss, threatening and probably planing to tear him to shreds, she scratches his neck/throat with her claws. As she does, the wounds become pure white almost immediately, which causes River to stop and hesitate. She realizes something and then warns boss that this will be a reminder for him, a penance if you will, and then moves on to the other life.

I believe that why his wounds turned white, is because boss actively believes that by letting himself be hurt and 'punished' is a good decision.

In other words, he believes that letting himself be hurt and possibly destroyed by the people he hurt, is what he deserves. He believes that he deserves pain, hurt, and perhaps even physical punishment, because of the hurt he had caused the people he cared about the most.

In the end, he is willing to try and forgive himself, to try and make things better, but he thinks it's best if he leaves Eugene and Charlie alone to continue their lives, without his influence, so he leaves. He leaves to find himself in the world, because he wasn't able to when he was alive.

And I wish nothing but the best for him.

Boss is a VERY deep and intriguing character, and he is one of my all time favorite game characters EVER.

Hes like an ACTUAL human being- not those flat idiot and single-minded/purposed characters on hallmark TV shows.

He has FLAWS. He had Strengths, weaknesses, regrets! EMOTION! As much as Boss tries to keep up his walls and hide his true feelings from others (with only a few exceptions to his friends), we can see throughout the games that this isn't the case. I think the most aware of this would be Joan, who seems to understand him a bit more than the others, and gives some wise words on how once you get to warm up to him, and he warms up to you, then you'll see that he's not as tough as he looks.

Charlie also seems more aware of this as time goes on, especially later in the game.

Boss may also see Eugene as a son-figure because he never had one. He was never able to get married and have a family. Eugene grows on him very quickly, and it shows through his actions.

Boss is just a very big softy, a confused, hurt, possibly scared, afraid to be alone, and troubled softy.

And i love him, and want nothing but the best for him in his journey.

I know this will likely never happen, but I would love to see more of him in the story of the Underworld office series <:].

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk 😭

[tonati143]

Anders rant

Lowkey, I need to talk about this and Im sure other Anders fans have probably talked this to the ground.

But I feel like Anders suffered so badly at the hands of the creators and its both heartbreaking and the largest reason I love him so much. We see him, easily one of the most hated characters in the fandom, and he is not handled with nuance by either fans or anti’s because the writers never even gave room for that nuance.

You either are hate him or you love him, because there was never an option presented that allowed for a grey area.

Lets talk about easily one of the most popular options (and mirror to Anders), Solas. He easily does so much worse for even less of a reason. What he tries to do in Veilguard, what he did in Inquisition. If I remember correctly, bro gives the anchor to Corypheus bc he couldn’t understand it and thought bro would fix it for him.

If this would have been Anders, there would be outrage.

But because Solas has the benefit of writers that love him in both games, he gets the benefit of getting a grey area. There is not nearly as much hate, no one sits down to talk about how secretly he is the cause of every problem here.

I cant help but wonder what Anders did to lose out on such nuance. Cullen, one of my favorites, receives that nuance, when we are well aware what can happen with his story line if we dont play our cards right in Origins and DA2.

To have a writer that basically wants you dead is so crippling.

There is no nuance, there is no forgiveness. Even the route where your Hawke doesnt stabby stab him is made to look like you made the wrong choice. I was lucky, my Hawke in inquisition does not paint Romanced!Anders as a monster, my Hawke is much more forgiving and speaks of him as someone who needs to be taken care of. But Ive seen other people talk about how their Hawke speaks of Anders.

We lose out on Awakening!Anders in a way that almost doesnt seem natural. It is like we were given a completely different character. One is capable of facing trauma, and I would even say having to give your body to a spirit holds some form of trauma as well, while maintaining core parts of their personality. It wouldnt have hurt to show us bits of that previous Anders once in a while.

Its hard to look at really, because there are things that he says in DA2 that gives us insight to what is going on in the chantry, things that gives us insight to why he is going through such lengths. But because everything is structured around the idea that you are supposed to hate him, no one ever really acknowledges him in game or in the fandom.

I saw on a comment a few days ago that states that Anders tried so hard to be heard, to have his stance listened to but throughout the game almost everyone shrugs him off. No one takes him seriously. And yes, he can be obnoxious about it sometimes, but if I put myself in his shoes, I would also be talking and talking about it until someone acknowledges me. In smaller cases where I would have things to say in places like highschool and everyone would ignore me, I would find myself repeating it again until someone would tell me “yeah, we heard you already”. Its in a way where I understand what it feels like, to have something so important to say and to be pushed to the side, I understand what Anders feels in party banter in a way that cant be said outloud without being questioned if I agree with his decision towards the Chantry.

He could have been perfect, a way to start a conversation where we ask ourselves, at what point are extreme measures acceptable? At what point can we consider what a person did to be necessary or unnecessary? Would anyone have listened to the cause if that measure hadnt been taken?

Unfortunately, its answered for us, it ends the conversation before we can even have it. It tells us what is supposed to be the answer. It tells us it is wrong, it tells us that this is a black and white conversation. What could have been a legitimate substantial conversation cut short because of their efforts to make the fandom hate Anders as much as they do.

And I mourn that ever since 😔

[chronicallyonline101]

Going to rant here instead cause there's a limit to how much you can say on the reply 🗿

But anyway u're literally that "no, i can't laugh yet, i've gotta hold it in" meme audio 😭 BUT YES DON'T SPOIL IT PLS as much as i love eating up the sneak peaks u’re feeding us i want to be surprised... or jumpscared 😨

Ok, so here’s my delu— i mean my first theory. It has everything to do with her Stand. H4B’s evolution/influence isn’t just some silly side effect thing, it’s a slow recurring thing that’s been subtly affecting mc throughout the story. The headaches, the static liquid bleeding from her eye? That’s foreshadowing. You dropped the bomb on us that H4B is the reincarnation or soul of her mom, so what if over time, it started realizing how dumb her daughter is for staying in la squadra? In a desperate attempt to protect her daughter H4B overloaded her brain, frying it or smth, suppressing her emotions or past. A traumatic event during a solo mission could have been the trigger, leaving mc in a vulnerable blanked out state where she collapses.

We’ve already seen that H4B is a sentient stand, sometimes acting on its own, so it’s not far fetched to think it made this decision for her daughter. This is like they're 2nd time running away together from a problem. This would explain why la squadra (except melone) believed she’s dead cause they had already witnessed something similar with sorlato (who i’d like to believe are alive somewhere saved by the power of plot armor... making sweet, sweet love… crazy kids… to be in love…)

Enter bucci’s team. They find her in this altered state and take her in which perfectly aligns with another sneak peek you revealed in the past where abba saved her. While she’s with them, temporarily "forgetting" la squadra or can't act upon it since H4B controls her emotions when it comes to them, this is where her rs with bucci and abba begin to grow. Cause how else is abba/reader and bucci/reader going to develop if she wasn’t with them for an extended period? Girl i could smell the trauma bonding. Abba and mc with their trauma with guns, mc’s past is not the best but even then maybe her and bucci could bond over their love for the ocean (idk if mc loves the ocean, i just know she’s sentimental, i think, over it since her and melone used to live near the beach)

Mc had to be gone long enough for la squadra to fully believe she’s dead but at the same time her "death" must have happened soon enough for baby face’s tracking to still detect her DNA. So maybee… one of the bucci’s members interfered? Like they saw some weird ass uggo looking stand constantly trying to follow them/mc and were like "wtf? looks dangerous. *whacks it*"

Oh yeahh and then there's her necklace that was gifted by melone. I feel like it’s going to be crucial in getting her memories back cause if i remember correctly you mentioned in the ao3 comments that it’s going to play an important role. So maybe that’s the key to breaking wtv suppression H4B placed on her

And finally my second theory– none of our theories means shit because u're going to introduce something we aren’t even aware of yet anway 💀

when i tell you ive spent the past hour pacing back and forth around my room because of this theory i AM NOT LYING oh my actual god what the fuck how the fuck there is a LOT you said here that is genuinely one thousand percent accurate that its SCARING me like i genuinely do not i dont what the

there is a SO MUCH i want to say about this BUT I CANT IM SO SORRY I REALLY LIKE THIS THOUGH YOU ARE SO SMART FOR PICKING UP ON ALL THE LITTLE DETAILS

now, as much as you got a few things right, you ALSO got some stuff wrong AND I WONT CLARIFY WHAT IS RIGHT AND WHAT IS WRONG because im EVIL - but you are correct in that there are things that havent been introduced to the plot yet that will shift things :3

OH AND MC absolutely is nostalgic for the sea, i think cuz growing up she was never really happy with her parents and home life, living with Melone gave her a sense of freedom and happiness and so she DEFINITELY holds a sentimental place for the ocean and beaches !!

[pagemasters]

Fantasies He…

BABY’S FIRST FIC!!!

Author’s notes: So after reading so many for years I thought maybe it’s my turn to take a crack at it. There’s I think 3 parts to this, with the first one having basically no smut and mostly platonic fluff between Az and Feyre, but part 3? Can’t say the same thing for the middle Archeron sister lmao

I swear this started out to be one part but the story told me otherwise, part 2 is fully drafted I’m just revising and editing

I’m a very visual person, so enjoy the floor plan of the nursery and a rough sketch of what I think her mural would be and the star! I am a painter if it wasn’t obvious so the whole portion on starfall stars is actually based on how Bob Ross paints his northern lights, just with modifications BUT I haven’t tried it myself for this specific purpose. Also the colour of Feyre and Rhys’s stars are the colours of the first ones that hit them during Starfall btw! I love the platonic relationships between the inner circle and we don’t get enough of it

If you enjoyed it I would love u forever if you let me know!! :)

Ps. Omg dialogue is so difficult to make realistic but also in character, none of that “hey big brother” etc. shit you see in tv shows where you’re like who tf says that to their sibling ?? Ps.ps. I haven’t taken an English writing class for 5 years so if punctuation was wrong let’s pretend it wasn’t LMAO

I CANT FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO AO3 LINK BUT IT’S ON THERE WITH THE SAME USERNAME LOL SORRY

Summary:

Azriel spends the day with Feyre, only to get caught in the rain on the way home. Good thing the townhouse is empty. Or is it…

CHAPTER ONE: DAYDREAMING

The rain finally decided to make its appearance as Azriel stepped out of the River house. Taking a deep breath, he let the soothing scent wash over him as he relaxed his wings. 

The meeting with Rhys was short, just a weekly update on the goings around the other courts and allies, nothing that required the full inner circle to make an appearance. Something he knew after centuries of this work should be a good thing, but it doesn’t stop the pang in his chest at the missed opportunity of seeing her. 

Not that he didn’t try to catch a glimpse of her. He did take a walk through the beautiful home his brother had built for his mate after seeing him, the smell of cedar and masonry long since faded from the construction days; replaced with flowers and candles and the dinner his shadows whispered Nuala and Cerridwen were working on. The scent of paint lingered though, and he discovered the reason why as he got to the residential wing. His High Lady wasn’t in her studio, but he found her nonetheless with a brush in her tattooed hand. 

“I think you missed a spot.” Az said from the doorway, trying to repress his smile at her startled reaction. Even though Feyre and Rhys opted for doorways fashioned with wings in mind, he kept his drawn in tight, not wanting to risk smearing her paint as he stepped inside. 

“Rhys won’t let me use the step ladder without him holding it. And me. And the bump.” Feyre twisted to look up from her spot on the floor and smiled in greeting before lowering the brush to pat her stomach in emphasis. She gave her mate’s antics an affectionate eye roll and shake of her head before releasing a heavy sigh, glancing back at her work. 

“If I remember correctly,” Az teased, “you are prone to falling quite spectacularly.”

She let out an indignat squawk so loud he had to bite his lips to prevent laughing, her body spinning so fast to face him fully that paint ended up splattering from her brush to the white drop cloth. 

Their flying lessons had ceased for the most part since the war, so watching her fly into a tree or eat rocks wasn’t as common an occurrence— but that’s not to say that still doesn’t happen. Knowledge he happens to be privy to not just as her flight teacher, but as the spymaster, something she’s very aware of if the narrowing of her eyes and mouth hanging open are any indication. 

It’s hard not to notice the similarities between the sisters, when even with your eyes closed the cadence of their speech was also similar. But it was never so apparent between youngest and oldest Archeron as when Feyre’s eyes pinned him in place, the expression of mock outrage was so much like Nesta’s it was almost comical. 

“Ruuuude,” she said, drawing the word out in a whine with pouted lips, no doubt remembering the amount of face plants he’d witnessed when she first began to fly. “I see how you treat your High Lady, Shadowsinger. Just wait, it’s not too late for me to paint a little something in your bedroom.”

“And here I thought pouting and grumbling was beneath royalty, at least you can say you’re a tree hugger.”

She gave him a gesture that was certainly beneath royalty, and he didn’t hold back his chuckle this time. 

“What gave you that idea, have you even met Rhys?” 

“Oh trust me, you should’ve seen him when we were kids.” He said, grabbing her hands to help her stand. “He discovered in a book that while bat wings look identical to ours, the anatomy of their wing is labeled similar to that of the hand. So for them, their talons are their thumbs. After that, he took it upon himself to hang upside down in silent protest whenever he was mad, but didn’t want his mother to wash his mouth out with soap for swearing.”

“He did not.”

“Mhmm, until his faced turned purple.”

“And where were you and Cass for all this?” Feyre said through her giggling, a wide grin of unrestrained joy plastered on her face. 

“He couldn’t have done it alone, a thumbs down by yourself would look stupid.”

“Ah yes, because the three of you hanging upside down like overgrown bats isn’t ridiculous.” She cackled, “How long until he gave it up?”

“A few weeks. After Cassian passed out in the middle of camp and we all got broken capillaries on our faces. Still, a better alternative than the awful tasting soap in Illyria.” 

“What, as opposed to other tasting soap?” He just shrugged, smiling. 

Rhys’s mom’s reaction to warriors dragging them across the rocky ground home was as lively in his memory as she was when she berated them when her son fessed up. She was less thrilled to hear the real reason than Devlon was having passed out children strewn about the place, but she never did call them out on the lie they fed to Devlon about it being a dare when he came banging on their door. That night though when they were more lucid, she brought them on foot to one of the mountains surrounding their outpost and stood them at the opening of a cave. He still remembers the eyes he felt on them, the warning bells ringing from his shadows as she gestures her hands out and said, “If you want to act like bats, you can join them; or you can toughen up, learn how and when to pick battles and what hills are worth to dying on. Because there will be more people who will piss you off, but this is not an option when you’re leading armies. So,” her hazel eyes meeting each of theirs, “What will it be? Do you want to stay here or take the soap and fly right on home.” Needless to say they bolted home with the taste of pine tar suds coating their mouths like a film no amount of water could rid them of the taste. He could still feel the eyes of whatever was in that cave the entire way home, but thank the cauldron he could fly at that point. His heart ached at the memory of the female, the one he knew picked a low cave for him to make her point, just in case. The one his shadows caught a few times after that upside down on the couch after a rough day when she thought she was alone. 

As Feyre’s amusement continued with eyes glazed over—no doubt having a silent conversation with Rhys—Az cleared his throat, his shadows pulling back as he gestured to their surroundings and asked, “So how’s the nursery coming along?” 

“It’s going great,” she replied after a moment, her laughter subsiding as she surveyed the mural.  “I know it’s not geographically correct, and that Starfall and the time when our courts insignia’s stars show don’t overlap, but I couldn’t not include them. I want  him and any possible future child to see the night court as I did when I first fell in love with it and their dad.” 

Indeed, while he knew Rhys was already in love with her, he got to watch Feyre love him back as much as he deserved in real time the longer she was here. And the way she captured the land they all loved so much here was… breathtaking. 

On the wall that held the doorway he just stepped through lay the mountain with the moonstone palace atop it. The first place she saw here. They both knew where the doors to Hewn city rest below, but it was covered by the landscape. As if there were no room for nightmares in this room, even if it was a court this babe may one day rule. 

“I have no idea how you made that mountain so realistic,” he said to her in awe, pointing to the painting adjacent to the wall they just looked at. 

“The crib is going to go right below it when the rooms done. I want it to watch over him.” She replied almost reverently as she looked up. 

The mountain was the tallest of the three she painted, and it looked just as it had on his trek up there with his brothers during the rite. Physically it was practically stone for stone, those three stars lines up overhead perfectly, but the energy differed. Instead of the cold and foreboding thing he remembered on the way up, it seemed almost… euphoric? As if the wild joy and love Rhysand, Cassian and he felt as they made their way to the top and won seeped its way onto the painting. Like the unyielding strength from that mountain and what it brought out of them would guide and protect him, just like it did for the three winged dots surrounding the monolith at the tip. How that was even possible was beyond him. 

He could barely tear his gaze away, but snickered as he saw the tiny but recognizable building at the base of it to the right. “The cabin, huh?”

“Of course, gotta prep him for one day kicking all of your asses during your snowball fight.” She added, blushing. “I put few snowballs flying just for good luck.”

Though he knew the other reason the cabin was significant to Feyre and Rhys, the thought of his future nephew joining their game warmed him. But It did make trying not to focus on other non-winged and winged babies that could one day join in the snowball fight impossible. Children have always been an abstract idea, a figment he knew existed but besides Rhys’s sister, he wasn’t around. And after what happened to her… He thought for a long time he would never have one of his own, but that sentiment start to change in recent years. He could avoid it most days though, but being surrounded by the baby stuff made the hypothetical harder to ignore. The thoughts on if he’d have his own little ones propped on his hip and curled into his chest with their chubby cheeks and inquisitive eyes. If they would have his hazel or her golden brown ones, or something different if they adopted. Would their little hands or clothes or hair get caught in the scales of his armour just like hers did when he took her on her first flight to the town house from the House of Wind, when he held her for the first time. Would Elain… Az paused, stopping that train of thought before it just twisted the knife even further, seeing more things he can’t have. 

His shadows began to circle him, and if Feyre noticed she politely didn’t comment on it before pointing out what she was working on when he interrupted her. 

To the right of the cabin and right were she was sat Velaris, and it really did look like a city of starlight with how she painted the glowing nightscape. He could make out the four markets that were the heart of the city, with extra emphasis on where the town house sat along with the new residence they were currently in. Bisecting through it all, the Sidra River looked so realistic he could probably skip a rock across its surface. It flowed like a living thing, reflecting the lights from the buildings on its edge and even the stars above. Two of which weren’t normal stars. 

Above the city proper and even the flat topped mountain that held the House of Wind was the beginnings of starfall. 

“How-“Azriel could barely get out, “how is this even possible?”

“Perks of now being immortal; plenty of time to practice. And having a husband with wings who takes you to get aerial views.” She simply said gesturing to their city, as if she didn’t create magic with swipes of colours. 

“The green one is mine, and the light blue one is Rhys’s. I’m planning to get everyone to add their own star to the wall.” Now looking him, she smirked. “Which means you came at a perfect time, Shadowsinger. Your turn.”

He gave her an unbelieving expression, shadows instantly vanishing. “You can’t be serious.”

Her eyes twinkled with mischief, “if I trust Cassian with a paintbrush, you’ll be fine. He’s coming by in a few days when he gets a free moment, Nesta and her two friends are keeping him busy with training.” Nesta is keeping him busy with more than just that, it’s a wonder he even has energy to train them. 

But looking at Rhysand’s mate, Azriel saw her glow in a way different from her powers. Feyre radiated joy as her hand cradled her stomach despite barely showing, not caring about paint getting on her already splattered clothes. For his brother, for the friend beside him and his nephew in her womb, he removed his jacket and let out a resounding sigh in defeat. “What do you need me to do?” 

So Feyre excitedly brought him over to her pile of paint tubes on the drop cloth. She grabbed the white and as he selected the colour phthalo blue she went off to prep the clean, dry brushes and a fresh palette for him. 

“So pick the area of the sky you want your star to be, I’d like to keep the inner circle’s additions mostly above Velaris, but I’ll add tiny ones fading out once everyone is done. Amren and Mor are away, Cass is busy and who knows if or when Nesta would want to contribute. That means besides Rhys and I, you have the pick of the litter.”

“What about Elain?” He asked, trying to keep his voice and face as neutral as possible when she handed him a 3 inch brush already dipped in his blue. 

“I’ll drag her in here after dinner when she gets in from the garden. The colour of the sky is already dry which is the important part, so there’s no time constraint on when everyone adds theirs besides my due date.” She gave him a knowing smile which he dutifully ignored, along with the disappointment in his chest as she confirmed Elain wasn’t in. “Now I want you to cover a large area of where you generally want the shape of the star to go, it doesn’t have to be perfect but cover much more than you think you’d need to.”

He hesitates, “won’t this cover up your sky? It’s a dark colour.”

“Just trust me.”

He followed her instructions, cringing as his brush made contact with her beautiful wall and went over the faint background stars she had already done, but relaxed when he saw they were still partially visible. 

Az looked back at her, seeing his shadows lazily inspecting them, as if they wanted a part in the activity their master is occupied with. Feyre playfully eyed the curious one that grazed her hand as she took his current brush from his scarred hand to switch it. “Now with this fan brush, I want you to coat it in the white paint. And as you do so, get a feel for how the bristles bend and move.”

Doing as High Lady said, he got her guidance once he brought the loaded brush to the wall, being sure to dab, not swipe the white in a near full coverage circle followed by a line over the shade of blue he had no idea how to pronounce. 

“So this is where the magic begins,” she stated when he finished and passed a third brush over, a flat paddle one identical to the first and this time a cloth. “You see that perfectly clean teardrop you made? You’re gonna ruin it.”

At the alarmed look he gave her, she just cackled. “I knew you’d make that face, Rhys did the exact same. I want you to very lightly swipe the brush starting at the largest end of the teardrop and out towards the tail of the star. That’s the only motion you’ll be doing. And after each swipe you can gently wipe off the brush before starting again. You can also practice the strokes around the mountain until you feel ready like Rhys did, the sky there is also dry.”

With a deep breath, he took a step away and tried it until he felt like he got the technique she wanted down. This was for his family, he reminded himself, he will not let his nephew down. And despite getting her nod of approval, he still felt like he was going in blind as he did what she said and his jaw dropped. 

Well shit. Now he understood why she wanted him to put down the colour he chose first. 

“The blue is actually transparent; so while it looks dark in the tube, it blends out much lighter. Especially with white under or overtop. You’re doing wet-on-wet blending.” What was once just a bright blob over blue so dark you couldn’t see it on her perfect walls, he could now see how the white faded. How the light and the dark mixed until they became one. So Az wiped the excess off his brush, and continued on and on until it looked similar enough to what she and Rhys created. They fell into a rhythm, Feyre handing him back the fan brush to brighten or a new one with bristles so impossibly soft as they worked as a team. She barely had to tell him what to do now, so with next to no pressure he feathered it out vertical rather than the almost horizontal strokes from before, until only a streak of blue light remained. They could’ve been at this for minutes or hours, he had no idea. He didn’t even question her instruction to use a densely bristled tool he could’ve sworn was a toothbrush to flick on watered down white paint for the star trail. 

“This is incredible, Feyre.” He stated, stepping back at last.

“That wasn’t me, that was all you my friend.” She grinned at him. “Once everyone’s is dry, I’m adding a sheer shimmery paint to make them pop, but even without it you did a beautiful job.”

He felt heat rise to his face, and inclined his head in thanks without removing his eyes from the wall. 

“You certainly have an eye for this, Az. Care to quit and become a painter? I could use an assistant.”

A chill went through him, and he started to turn in her direction before the window caught his attention. Dusk must have fallen along with the rain who knows how long ago. About to rub his temples, Feyre squeaked out a warning before he remembered the task at hand and looked down at himself. The plain black long sleeve shirt covered in splatters didn’t matter, he goes through them like water for work but the paint coating his skin made his stomach drop the same way her jest did. Much different than the red he was used to seeing there, all the blood he still couldn’t wash away.

He can paint a picture with his knife, but nothing like Feyre’s ability of creation. Each slash he makes as delicate and precise a dance as any Nesta favours, but instead it’s to a symphony of screams. And unlike Elain… the only soil he sees is grave dirt. If the bodies make it that far. 

His work is never meant to been seen by others, it’s means to and end, a way to protect his family and his court. Unlike their work, where it would be a crime to hide it from the world.

“Tempting offer, Cursebreaker,” Az murmured, swapping the dirty cloth for a damp one his shadows brought him. Paying close attention to his siphons and not his scars, he still didn’t feel clean enough no matter how hard he wiped the paint from his skin. “Sadly, I don’t think your mate would be too thrilled to have to hire someone else to feed the creatures in Hewn City.”

She snorted, making a lighthearted comment about at least no one had to feed Byraxis, for now… The forced tease in her voice didn’t fool him as she realized she must’ve hit a nerve, but he appreciated her effort anyway.

“I do have to head out, but I’ll pop by soon to see the progress when I drop off paperwork.” He told her, his lips pressed to the top of her head and shockingly made contact with her hair in a brief farewell. Rhys must’ve lessened the shield knowing Az was with her, but not by much considering both her and the babe’s scent was still concealed. 

Feyre did invited him to stay for dinner which he politely declined. It wouldn’t be served for an hour, but he needed space and to fly to clear his head—still feeling like if he looked down he’d be dripping blood that didn’t belong to him as he made his was out. He did try not to rush out as he walk through the maze of supplies strewn about the covered floor, keeping his wings high even as his shadows tugged at him, but he had a feeling she knew his reason for leaving. Well, at least the other reason. 

Lightning cracks through the sky, snapping Azriel out of his memories. Damn, He must be more tired than he thought. If breaking one of the cardinal rules of flying—also known as “PAY ATTENTION JACKASS!” by his brothers when they taught him—wasn’t enough, he’s not even going to the right place. Despite not living there for years, he’d been heading towards the town house and not the House of Wind. 

The storm just seems to be picking up, but at least with the downpour he no longer felt the warm spray of blood coating him rather than the paint, he just felt nothing at all. Well, nothing besides wanting to get the fuck home. Az really didn’t have the energy to fly up a mountain or winnowing through this even if it wouldn’t be his first time. But considering how often lightning hits the rocks rather than the surrounding city, crashing at the town house is easiest. It’s for the best, with it sitting empty now. At least he’d be alone. 

Az pauses mid-flight though, when he notices the lights already on inside. And the smoke rising from the chimney only to dissipate in the rain.

What the hell? Who would be dumb enough to break into their high lord and inner circle’s home? It’s not like it’s broadcasted who owns the house but it’s pretty common knowledge after this long. 

At least storms can be a great tool for his field of work, it’s almost a blessing in disguise he plans to use to its full advantage. Landing atop the roof as gently as possible, he ensures his wing beat blends in with the rain like it has hundreds of times before. Using his siphons to unlock the door and slipping inside, the creak of the hinge merely just a gust of wind as he shuts it behind him. 

That’s when the smell of jasmine and honey hits him so strongly he has to bite back his moan. But it seems like he was the only one who did. 

Because mixed within that scent ingrained in his brain, is Elain’s arousal. 

And she’s…

Oh fuck. 

Fuck fuck fuck fuck

[castlebyersafterdark]

https://www.tumblr.com/castlebyersafterdark/773292299928174592/noah-wanting-to-be-the-one-wrapped-up-in-a-hug-and?source=share

sorry for this really long ass rant but i had an impulse to share some things after reading cuteness overloaded discussions

I really began to ship f+n after witnessing Finn's protectiveness, which is reserved for Noah only (i've also seen IT ,GB, Turning promo videos but the way finn cares for Noah is unlike anything, dare i say, outrageously romantic) Especially when finn placed Noah 4th( Mom, Dad, Nick, Noah) on his MySpace list and got a little teary-eyed when Noah mentioned Finn and Millie in his top 8.

I really enjoyed several videos showing Finn being super protective of Noah. In one, Finn is biting his nails when Noah gets cut off, signaling Millie to hand the mic to Noah, invites Noah to join him when he, Gaten, and Caleb are huddling (It's noticeable how Noah steps back and 'shy noah' takes over when others are talking, but Finn is the only cast member who seems to catch on to that)

Finn roasted Gaten and Caleb before their lip-sync battle (he made me laugh with how cleverly he roasted Gaten), but he couldn't say anything mean about Noah. Instead, he said, “Noah has bad stage fright; I hope he pull through today.” He just couldn’t bring himself to be harsh. THE THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE!

As for Noah, he’s such a sweetheart and treats everyone nicely. It’s hard to pinpoint who he truly likes/dislikes but Finn was the key for me to see why F+N might be real. Mr. sassy has no problem expressing his likes and dislikes up front. so you can tell he liked noah a great deal. he becomes a 'gentle finn' around him or when talking about him.

Before, I thought finn was just plain rude (a narrative circulated by Millie fans, which isn’t wrong btw, he didn’t like her for reasons i am not aware of)

You can definitely tell that Noah brings out a soft, cuddly side of Finn that he usually keeps to himself. It's really adorable.

finn yaps about noah like its nobody's business and even caleb was like 'we know this poker story. how many times! ' but finn was determined to talk about noah till the end of time with audience and DGF and narrates again with his soft eyes and cute giggles (expression reserved only for noah) . honestly cant blame caleb for giving finn a side eye. everyone sure likes noah but just cuz finn is in love with him, they are not gonna sit there and listen to Finn explain how cute Noah is and why noah is my sunshine essay.

Eduardo forgot noah's joke but finn wanted to remember the exact words to deliver it perfectly “What did noah say, it was so funny!" LMAO. i am sorry but finn has a GiAnT crush on noah.

Noah's BFF could not guess the right color of his eyes(millie said hazel) only to be corrected by Finn 'ITS GREEN' who was sitting on the opposite corner and still managed to answer correctly, without even looking, on a mission to scan & catalog Noah’s organs.

Its only because noah is dealing with the will byers syndrome, since Will is the gay character, people mistakenly think he has a fat crush on Mike, but Mike doesn’t feel the same way. Honestly, if Noah hadn't come out, people would be saying the opposite, questioning why Finn is so obsessed with Noah, and so on.

to summarise, Finn is the perfect BIG SPOON for Noah, and pretty sure he has strong urge to show his cuteness aggression whenever Noah is around. its a win-win. hoping that Finn and Noah are together and looking out for each other.

Thank you for sharing this manifesto with us, so much fun! So much LORE packed into this and I only know a few of these references. Passing along these wild vibes and observations and very big emotions 😁😁😁 The dramatic ups and downs and highs and lows and the Finn and Noah Saga!!!

[neutrallyobsessed]

What are your least favorite clone high ships? Any you don't like?

well, tophabe gotta be the one i hate the most for sure, THE lame as fuck, generic red x blue yaoi ship with a toxicity that the fandom refuses to adknowledge?? when thats the most interesting and fun part of the ship?? worst crime of all is the one that should be DOM-ming is subbing like (omg why does this keep happening??) there's only one person who gets the dynamic """correctly""" and even then they're still wrong about like. literally everything else. i can allow a certain level of OOC-ness but whatever the hell is going on here is WAY! TOO! MUCH!! all things related to this ship are terrible terrible terrible all of it SUCKS!!!!

you will find that ppl who hate tophabe are the better topher understanders with like 2% margin of error, and im topher understander no 1 you can trust me on this one ;3

overall i dont ship topher with men, beyond the uncomfortable implication that he couldn't be into me (girl), just----- look, you cant make topher a minority of any kind without compromising a huge and important chunk of his characterization, resulting in him being turned into a completely different character. i love topher exactly the way he is and as canon as reasonably possible, him being into men in any way is the exact opposite of that so dont put that near me thanks i have every tag filtered and its GREAT!

id say tophucius is the second worst on this regard, if the hopeless normie cant be corrupted into liking the edgiest memes 4chan can offer then its not a good ship

joanfucius killed my grandma so i dont like it much either :// and the more i think about it, the more i realize that they dont work well togheter at all.... i see the show, i see the fanart and im like "wow joan looks miserable here, she'd be better off with topher" sure maybe its my own bias but am i wrong?? adsadasdasasadsadas

i dont really think of my notps all that often unless they're popular thus annoying, cause why could i? lol, but mmmmmm cathivan always looked so lame and boring in my eyes :PP

[kamiversee]

HEY KAMI. i did a short little investigation over the sukuna chapters, and i know i'm def wrong about all this but here's the short few stuff i got. i know ppl think sukuna could be the reason gojo's making her do this and i LOWKEY agree. ok so: gojo immediately refers to sukuna as an asshole, his smile fades/expression flickers when she asks about him, and he starts gripping onto the reader and gets more irritated when they get into the party.

this alone probably isn't enough because satoru could genuinely just think this guys disgusting lol.. but we also have some other stuff:

it really didn't take long for the reader to seduce sukuna, which again could just be because of how many partners he definitely has (or at least that's what we're assuming).

i also found it a little weird how sukuna brought her to choso's bedroom and knew that she knew him?? which is why i was like "what if sukuna created the list"... if for some reason he had something against satoru, and knew how deeply he felt for this girl, it would make sense for the list to be made by him-- especially because why would satoru add suguru... or why nanami had no idea what she was talking about when she asked if satoru owed him anything.

also the comments he makes to the reader where it seems like he knows more than he should and then tries to play it off as a joke. i dont see sukuna joking ykwim...

okay i feel like that's enough for me. I THINK I MISSED THE DETAILS U WERE TALKING ABOUT IM SORRYYY.

i love ur writing sm and ik how bad this was oops. ANYWAY CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!! :)

Definitely still missed the detail I was talking about but THATS OKAY!!😹

I js wanna note, Sukuna’s not the only one u guys should be suspicious of BUT AY DONT LEMME DETER YALL FROM UR INVESTIGATIONS !!

Also, I will say tht Sukuna’s asshole status is rather well known as he finds it surprising the reader knows nothing of it :)

And ykw the more I think abt it, there’s actually a lot of lil deats tht haven’t been spotted yet (just in general btw) & the more I think…. MOST OF THE ANSWERS ARE IN THE FIC AS OF RN💀 but you’d have to be a lunatic to actually connect all the dots & guess everything correctly

EVEN SO, as usual I cant deny or confirm this theory but I appreciate it nonetheless ^.^

[armslikeanchors]

this is embarrassing but i have to get it out of my head

i think back a lot to a conversation we had, or rather, that i had with you

it went verbatim:

“

you know, the last year of our relationship broke me down back to the person i thought i had healed from

some nights after you went to sleep avoiding saying good night

i would stay up and hope that

the next day you would tell me you loved me

or

tell me how beautiful you felt i was

even if i didnt believe it,

it was nice to hear those words come from your mouth

im not sure if you had ever realized but

every time you complimented me or hugged me

i would burst into tears

i dont think you ever realized why

at some point, those little things became rare

instead of making me feel loved

you made me feel neglected;

i gave you my all

i never thought id find myself praying for a sign that you still looked at me the way you did at the beginning

it was pathetic

i never knew that the one person i believed could love me

would strip me down to my most vulnerable and excruciating insecurities

some days i would wear my nicest clothes to school

everyone complimented me but you

everyone

people i have never spoken a word to

you never batted an eye

“

and maybe thats where i mess up

i become too dedicated

isnt that the point, though?

maybe i was dedicated to the wrong person.

maybe this is embarrassing and im entirely too sensitive

i believe i just cant put it into words correctly

i then read you a diary entry about 4 days before you broke it off

sitting in the car waiting for you to leave a school meeting

i wrote

“

im driving my girlfriend and i home

she’s walking over here

im in the school parking lot

i love her a lot, i hope she always knows it

“

i then read you another entry

from the day after

“

id love to be your wife

id love to have our kids

i’m sure i’ll be a good mom

i’m sorry

“

i then said

“

i remember before the end of it all, i would read my diary entries about you and think

‘i don’t think she’d ever say something so heartfelt about me the way i do for her’

and you wouldnt

“

you didnt make a sound but there were tears streaming down your face

i still dont think youll ever truly realize how bad everything affected me

theres so much more i can say but i dont feel like fitting that into a post

you turned into a monster

you were so aggressive

you were so full of hate towards me

you then admitted to me

“

im now realizing i took you for granted for too long

“

well now what can you do.

anyway

thinking back

everything was so humbling

and so

i promised myself that

i will never let myself beg again

this is it

[silvermoonshipping-is-love]

previous anon here! its absolutely understandable why you feel that way, especially since i noticed you were here during the creepypasta fandom recession era (2016-2019), where people were starting to police what was the right and wrong way to intepret the pastas.

As for the drownedsilver hate, while i cant confirm for sure it was the source, was primarily started by a pokepasta fnf community member who has been recently outed as a creep and a generally terrible person (who called any ship they disliked proship!!) 😭 they had an iron grip over that community for 2 years, hence why so many people were dogpiling! Now that they're gone, i see more people being comfortable with putting out drowndsliver content out there!

I dont know if this information or acknowledgement will eleveate your anxiety. But i hope you gain the courage to post more about your own intepretations of ben and silver 🫂 You shouldnt feel like you have to appease a wider public to enjoy what you love.

My favourite example is the fact that say Ben HAD to be a pervert or a stoner and an asshole, nevermind the fact he's a deeply traumatized child, stuck in a video game and canonly a pacifist and not (intentionally) hurting anybody, like that is fine, but GOD FORBID you make EJ's skin slightly blue-ish to go with his overall colour palette. But also god forbid if you draw or write anything messed up or more mature in whatever way?? If anything the creepypasta fandom of all things being so strict is so odd, most characters don't have a fully set personality or the fact that all kinds of awful shit happens to them, especially CHILDREN, but wanting to draw two characters smooching? Now you've gone too far lmao.

Policing fandoms and fandom activity is a rising trend and I'm not happy about it as a "fandom old" so to speak lol. My motto is unless you are genuinely harming someone in real life or crossing someone's boundaries, just tag it correctly, and you do you. I may not like everything you do personally, but unless you are actively interfering with me or trying to harm me or others, whatever.

Also I was never in the community fully due to the incident and the hate towards SilvernMoon, so I never heard about this person. But unfortunately I'm not even that shocked, if you're that adamant about how wholesome or pure or unproblematic you are and everyone has to be, then you just seem all the more likely to have some skeletons so to speak. Just a real shame about my one FNF AU, cause it's sort of a personal one to me, cause of venting and feelings depicted.

If you mean creep as I think you do, I hope the victims are okay now.

But on the flip side I also eventually thought the fnf community are hypocrites anyways. Cause I saw all the hate for SilvernMoon while not even say incest stuff got as much hate in all my fandom years, yet the very person most of the community shipped Silver with? Red. The Red from his story. The same Red that is the whole reason Silver is forgotten and dead! I don't want to fully ship-shame, I just wanna showcase the irony, like- THAT is fine but SilvernMoon is wrong?? SilvernMoon out of all ships I ever saw is the one people drew the line at and hated the absolute shit out of???

Also there was a similar person over here in the regular creepypasta fandom that dogpiled on me as a minor, so that added, who called me a pdf file because I portray these characters as adults and made a more adult joke, but they INSISTED every version of Ben had to be 12 years old. Gurl, I don't know how to tell you, but the ghost kid that haunts a Nintendo Cartridge... He's not real, his whole concept as a cyber ghost isn't real. I know it's shocking to hear, you may sit down from that, but it's the truth.

I am getting better but it still feels like a long road to fully heal and say "fuck the haters"... I keep trying to even do youtube or stuff, but all this is holding me back pretty strongly-

[tmwcs]

I CANT TELL YOU HOW HAPPY I AM THAT MY LOVES ARE BACKKKK HEETHAN AND READEN I MISSED YOUUUUUUUUUUU

anyways back to "nik and rei's talk show" lets start shall we?

first of all YESSS HEETHAN GOT THE LIP PIERCINGGG like we talked abt yaaayyy whoooo its getting hot in here man

and also speaking of piercings, im so fcking curious on what heethan will pick for readen since she allowed him to ‘choose’ but at the same time scared oh my god we all know what he’s capable of lol!! Im saying it now since that’s what readen said…dont regret it in the future!!

also what the fuck was that car smut oh my god I can feel the vibrations and fucking heat emitting from the screen "When are you going to fucking realize....that I love you.....that I am insanely in love with you....that I fucking am obsessed....with everything about you....that I think about you....every second of every single day.......and that I'm fucking bad......I'm a very bad man.....I'm a bad man because all I want to do....is to take you away.....and fuck you silly every single day......" DEAR LORDDDDD THAT WHOLE LINE SHIIITTTTT heethan’s severely severely fucked up, crazy, insane, psychotic, etc etc….but thats okay!! cause hes our man 😋��

also the new pet name heethan gave us 😃 “sexy eyes” I was literally like “did I read that correctly??” rei how tf do you come up with these???!?? 🧍🏼‍♀️🧍🏼‍♀️

"When are you going to fucking accept......my fucking love......hmm?!.....When y/n?" are we going to talk about what heethan meant???? like do we need to have a serious one on one conversation about how he feels?? cause bro I feel like our crazy insane baby is feeling touch starved 😃😃🥲🥲

"SHUT UP AND LET ME FUCKING LOVE YOU! DO WHAT I FUCKING TELL YOU!" WHOAAAAOHOHOHO REI CHILL HOLY FUCKING SHIT HAWT AS HELL

"Why would I be tired of you?! I just said I fucking love you!" ahahaha uhm…yeah sorry heethan we’re just oblivious sometimes 😅😅 let me excuse you from our dear author no need to get mad bae

"I'm tired.....I'm so fucking tired.....y/n...." yea REINA IM TIRED TOO I WOULD BE TIRED TOO HEETHAN REINAAAA BIATCHHHH WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS 😭😭

first Gabe....then Samuel.....Tiff....Scott......that man.....why can't people just leave you alone?.....Why can't everyone just leave my pretty girl alone?" every exact word is on point LIKE LEAVE MY PRETTY PRECIOUS READEN ALONE 🤺🤺🤺🤺

"Wrong name....y/n." HUH. WHAT. REINA YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME THAT CLIFFHANGER?!?!? AFTER ALL OF THIS???!?!!??!?? truly just breaks my heart 💔💔💔

Hehehehehehehehhe! 😏 there’s a lot of juiciness in this chapter. First off…..okay, the flashaback were he dry hunonyou against the car….I liked that. “Scream.” Like boooooooooooooooooyyyyyyyy……chill. Lol. “Let’s see who’s going to save you from heeeeeeeeseeuuuuuuuung.” Um…yeah okay.

and the car smut…..yooo….heethan reached a breaking point and that part along with the “wrong name” is going to be elaborated in the next chapter ;)

[marmolaomarmolaomarmolao]

very curious... who's your favorite inazuma alien character and what do you like about them?

ah its good to have asks from you! (you are very friend) you can send a message, there is no need for an ask, but its also good because i can show stuff from the guys im going to talk about................ because i like all of them lmao and i have some preferences from time to time but the favorites are always ozrock and rodan and the baran brothers. i was a big fan of ratoniik when i played galaxy for the first time, and im still a big fan of banda and longa (goalkeeper of ratoniik). Kazerma and the guys from Gurdon Eleven are other of my favorites. I obviously like a lot the Ixaal guys, so im not naming these. I also LOVE AND IM OBSESSED WITH ACROUS YOU HAVE NO IDEA and i try not to think about him because its my weakness. i love kings and aliens and kind kings and everything about him. i will try not to talk about him anymore. but DONT TALK ABOUT HIM OR I WILL DIE. haha i want to know what you think about him now. I KNOW ITS WEIRD because in the anime there is nothing ABOUT HIM BUT IN THE GAME THERE IS LORE. maybe you have seen it i will not talk about that because i will be talking for hours. i love him and globulus? i always make jokes about his name so i dont know if its correctly written (its like a weird form to say globo, thats means balloon on spanish) AND I ALSO LOVE HIS FATHER IREID I DONT KNOW WHY I JUST THINK HE IS COOL i love evil kings and aliens. the only aliens i dont like are the princess and her guardian, the yellow pixie. its a bit weird their relationship, i want to like them but i feel something is weird about them. i dont remember what is wrong with them, maybe i just misunderstood something. even with that! i love the THE GUY THAT GUY THE ONE THATS WAS IN A FORM OF A CLOWN PLUSH AND THE MANAGER..... I FORGOT HIS NAME........... but i love him. he uses any pronouns for me btw. I WOULD TALK ABOUT THEM FOR HOURS AND MY HEADCANONS AND STUFF BUT im busy. thank you for the asking it made my head happy i cant talk too much about them because nobody cares about galaxy. I DIDNT TALK ABOUT NAIADI because its hard for me to talk about them. sometimes i like them sometimes i dont. but i like the goalkeeper, he is like a nishikage beta for me. THE CONCLUSION: my favorite alien is probably rodan or acrous. i hope this text makes sense.