#entire life has been kids’ way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

livvyofthelake · 23 days

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saw a tiktok that was like. Daily Affirmations: my work crush doesn’t like me. and now i’m like wow i wish i could send this directly to all of my new high schooler coworkers. who are all really annoyingly obsessed with our one male manager because he’s The Chill Manager. you may have seen me refer to this man before (it’s different when EYE love him because we are the same age. the high schoolers being obsessed with him is weird as hell and he DOES need to stop encouraging this) back in winterspring i was doing a lot of opening shifts with him and i was joking that we had the king and lionheart dynamic. which was real at the time but not so much the vibe now just because like. the vibe has shifted idk i work different shifts there’s different other managers i’m technically promoted there’s all these new people i don’t care about. the vibe is different. anyway. don’t care for these high schoolers and their obsession with him. especially because they’re like actual assholes sometimes to my friend managers… (they used to just work here and then two managers left and they got promoted) (i also technically got promoted at the same time but they rank above me and do more shit that i don’t want to do so like. obviously i’m not bitter or jealous about it. like if i had to manage a bunch of teenagers that didn’t respect me i might cry every single day) (which is happening to one of them fr. they’re literally such assholes to her sometimes it’s crazy like she’s not even as mean to you people as she should be…) not to side with like. The Man or whatever but unfortunately i’m not a teenager with a part time job i go to when i don’t have soccer practice so i cannot relate to the proletariat in this situation… like i knowww they’re seeing my girl as Bitch Manager and it’s making me hate them soooo bad. like you idiots can’t even fold jeans correctly!! i hate you!!!!

#literally the past three nights i’ve been working overnight with just the 2 friend managers and we’ve been having major bitch sessions #about these high schoolers…. sorry if this makes us bitches!!#maybe if more than 4 of them were literally any good at all at any part of their job we’d hate them less idk…..#like. if they sucked less it would mean i’d have to do less work. like girls work with me here im sick of covering your asses…..#can’t even put things back where they’re supposed to go correctly…#like why am i finding clearly marked clearance jeans mixed in the stack of full price ones…. stop pissing me offfffff omg #sorry again. but the next idiot teenager who asks me where something goes and i look at it and it’s clearly marked as clearance is going to #make me lose my mind for real. yes i do need a different job i know that im aware of this #the problem THERE is that all jobs look awful to me <3 #and there’s genuinely nothing on earth i care enough about to make it a career!#i genuinely need to become a trophy wife and stay at home mom. like there’s no careers for me i fear #i don’t mean that in a ‘submitting to the patriarchy’ way i mean it in a ‘the only thing i’ve consistently known i want in my future for my #entire life has been kids’ way #anyway. having a job where you’re the fifth most in charge person there and third on an average day. makes you evil fr

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bacchuschucklefuck · 3 days

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space sweepers but they're delivery people and are at no point on screen through the entire movie

#fantasy high #riz gukgak #kristen applebees #gorgug thistlespring #adaine abernant #fabian seacaster #figueroth faeth #the bad kids #half tempted to say these names are forum handles they use so much it pretty much became their professional names lol #I keep them teenagers bc its funnier that way #no real lore I just like drawing this. but I do think abt how theyre all weirdos too also bc thats funny to me #riz is a huge conspiracyhead who does everything by hands. he has a casio fx-570 in mint condition. nobody knows how he's maintaining it #he is nonetheless Really Good at his job. which somewhat tracks bc it's a job that requires keeping up with interstation conflicts #and new policies and an obsessive amount of planning. but he is Too Good at it. and also he dresses like that #kristen has the atomic engine that theoretically lets her unmake and remake matters with her mind. but it consumes a huge amount #of energy so it's mostly useless. she's still a cult survivor also #gorgug lives his entire life on a ship with his parents who quit a cushy deal maintaining a space station bc he wouldn't be allowed on #the low gravity let him grow very tall but also his oxygen saturation is pretty bad so he's got breathing support #fig is a robot who just found out she's a robot like two months ago. she's been assuming everyone's a robot like her and she's been feeling #very betrayed by her mom lying about that part. she's on a body mod spree which is rough bc system-specific parts are expensive #and so is adapting random parts to her system #fabian's still a pirate captain's son. can't say anything that'd be able to get the vibes across clearer than that #adaine went to tech/business school. she put her monthly allowance towards an ecoterrorist group in her academy which turned out to be an o #and she's currently wanted by UTS. more than fabian. which makes him slightly mad #she's also acquired a passion for low-tech weaponry on the way. she likes ice picks and cleavers #I think up all of this for no reason except that once again the idea of all these people being 1/teens and 2/on the same ship to be posties #is hilarious to me. esp. if they were in a forum group chat beforehand

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coquelicoq · 28 days

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the best reason to socialize is so that you will have stories to tell other people while you're socializing with them. it's a racket. a pyramid scheme. it's all built on air

#JUST KIDDING i love my friends <3 #no but i did just see my sister and i started so many stories with 'when i was at my friend's house recently'#which is crazy! you can only do that if you go to your friends' houses!#(or interact in some other way obviously it doesn't have to be in person don't get stuck on the details here)#i was talking about like five different people too. like oh shit look whose lame older sister has a social life now kind of!!#if i hadn't done all that socializing i would have only been able to tell her about books i've read lately and then we would have #had all that extra time to fill talking about how our mother messed her up. which we were already doing we would have just been doing #it more #my posts #i did not give her any strands of my hair this time BUT I THOUGHT ABOUT IT #maybe i will give her some tomorrow #we're spending the entire day together for various family events and then we're going to a soccer game lol #lol because neither of us care about the game or the team but we were supposed to go with someone else who backed out #so that should be interesting. anyway i'm all tuckered out with socializing lately so apologies to anyone i have not responded to on here

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awfullybigwardrobe44 · 3 months

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look I’m not saying that gifted kid culture wrecked my entire self esteem, made me feel like I was never good enough or special, or low-key affected 20+ years of my life

…actually, yeah, I am saying that. but here’s the kicker.

i wasn’t the gifted kid. I was the average one.

i get that gifted kid culture wasn’t good for the gifted kids, but geez, I can’t be the only one out there who WASN’T gifted and was still hurt by the system and is still dealing with emotional and psychological fallout.

can we start recognizing the impact gifted kid culture had on the non-gifted kids too?

#Maybe I shouldn’t be saying this but #The rest of us were just average #And I’ve spent essentially the entire rest of my life trying to be “special” at something #Gifted kid #gifted kid burnout #My journey #I’ve literally clung to my severe OCD sometimes because it makes me unique #My entire life has been me trying to be special in some way and not feeling satisfied #All because my best friend was gifted (read: special) and I wasnt #That was in THIRD GRADE #And it’s still DEFINING MY LIFE #I struggle with feeling jealous of former gifted kids even though y’all were messed up by it too #Because at least you got to grow up thinking you were special

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gurorori · 7 months

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if you say shit like 'autism is not a disability' i hope you actually have really bad things happen to you and you are banned from the autism community for the foreseeable future. get another fun weird club if you so badly need one

so profoundly tired of people trying to make autism into this whimsical quirkiness when it's for most people a serious and debilitating life altering disorder

#im not even that high on the needs spectrum at all. i definitely need a lot of support but it doesn't nearly compare to hsn autistics for ex #but our autism have never been masked and it's always been apparent in obvious ways that stunted our social and personal development #we can't mask at all it's not an option to us. we are disturbing in person. we talk weirdly. we are monotone with very rare exceptions.#we do not understand the overwhelming majority of very important social cues and we can't pretend or mask that #we've always been singled out and our impairment has ostracized us from peers our entire life #especially with the struggle of getting daily tasks done. we are JUST a little more independent with things than we were as a kid #i always talk about not feeling like an adult and being stuck in kid (teen at best!) like mindset and abilities and understanding of things #that is autism too. we are stunted and disabled developmentally in many ways as a result and we were never on par with others of our age #and we will never be.#i hate this sentiment so much and i hate the 'disabilities wouldn't exist if society was perfect at accomodating us all to a T'#like yeah surely our violent outbursts and shutdowns and intense stimming wouldn't exist? our need to regulate stimuli #our Inability to regulate emotion or response to overstimulation?#like holy shit if you're autism lite jsut say that. some of us are actually significantly impaired and very much DISABLED and require #support to function. and surprise surprise some autistics need help with every step in their daily life. are they not disabled? fucker

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faaun · 3 months

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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao

#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her #and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that #bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control #AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern #which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have #become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and #then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see #the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then #immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now #hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him #she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women #bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely #fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are #capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the #like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond #or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to #feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe #months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time #its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like #there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she #wouldnt show up and ive been right each time #like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at #them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all #anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it #and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy #and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way #its just AUSHD AUGH #anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore

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starlooove · 14 days

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Call me jaded bitter and black but I’ll never care about the nuances of the police fill in on tv. Like we already have to deal with the ‘my dad is a cop :(‘ or ‘my broke brother joined the military’ irl why the fuck am I wasting my brain power on Caitlyn or vi. Like we know materialistically the authority of being a cop can get u what u want faster and that emotionally u either need strict routine with an outlet for ur violence or ur so used to it that u have to be a cop. I still fucking hate u tho like idc about how sad u are about being privileged and I said cop fill in but it’s really every kind of that character on tv like Zuko esque sorry I genuinely have less empathy for you than I do for other people idc

#vis a bit eh #but sorry idgaf about Caitlyn on principal of her being an enforcer #vi can be gay w/ anybody else #do I hate how silco is woobified as a skinny white man especially in comparison to sevika #who arguably has Better morals - if better is defined by not directly doing the MOST heinous shit?#yeah #do I hate how yt ppl are yt ppling for Caitvi and jinx in order to call them revolutionaries or what zaun needs like ekkos not right there?#like his obstacles haven’t been THEM the whole time?#them as in the systems they work to maintain now?#YES #idk shit about season 2 this ain’t about that #if I’m wrong whoops #but yeah I hate that ekko got so little screen time but what little we see of him is taken and jammed into the other characters by fandom #jinx is not a communist bro she’s a white girl who’s mad and gets to break shit for a cause peddled to her by a white man who’s only issue #is his own position in life and fuck everyone else unless it’s to keep them in line and loyal #does she have the potential?#eh. whatever idc #but the whole she carried zaun on her back thing? mm #and it’s not even explored in a humans thirsting for revenge and violence and power fantasies in their idols as opposed to the tangible #change they could make at ground level #ie the idolization of jinx’s act of violence that stemmed from her own feelings of hurt towards her own personal situation which just so #happened to be tangled with the council #vs ppl saying the firelights stopping shimmer production does nothing or their own base is bad bc not everyone is invited. also double #standards. racially charged but we knew that #but yeah not it’s not even explored in that way it’s just genuine ‘the ppl love jinx bc she’s a hero!’ and ignoring ekko and his cause #entirely. do I think this worship could be the shove to rock bottom thatll eventually nudge her in the right direction? maybe idc #but it’s weird that nobody sees this as like weird. like ekkos about that action and has the principals to back it up #like he’s standing on business and jinx is waving a gun around to prove she’s not a naive weak kid anymore and that’s it

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dbphantom · 3 months

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Hate having adhd went to go work on my fallout modpack, got distracted while going to disable the steam overlay, ended up in the points shop, went to go edit my profile, decided to change my pfp, found a buried folder I forgot existed, found some old Veneer art I forgot existed, spent 45 minutes looking at all the old photos, STILL HAVE NOT TOGGLED ONE SIMPLE OPTION THAT SHOULD'VE TAKEN 30 SECONDS AT MOST

#I'm shocked I have these drawings scanned on my pc I don't remember doing that I must've done it before I left in case my mom threw all my #Art out again #Anyway at age 12 I was writing a better '3 merpeople go on land to find a 4th one that has been disguised as a human all his life' story #Than Ma/ko Merm/aids EVER did so uh. Take that Jonathan #God it sucks so bad that kid me would've LOVED MM if it just DIDN'T HAVE THE STUPID GENDER WAR BULLSHIT #Literally the entire first and second season is just. So fucking stupid. I wrote a God damn essay about how they fumbled Erik's story SO BAD #I don't even LIKE Erik BUT THEY DID HIM SO DIRTY #THE CHARACTER POTENTIAL AND WRITING COULD'VE BEEN BETTER THAN ZANE B. S1 OF H2O BUT THEY THREW IT AWAY AND FOR WHAT!!!!!!!#Seriously you're telling me a kid who was abandoned his entire life for being male didn't have a bigger impact on the pod than FUCKING ZAK?#That plot twist of 'oh actually Zak was a merman all along' was 100% so they could guilt free write Erik out #Instead of like. Having him face his actions or redeem himself in like. Any way. He just fucks off. THEN the pod is like lol Zac were sorry #We're sorry for literally not doing anything to you because you were privledged enough to have a mother who was super ultra powerful #So you were never really affected by our actions until JUST now. Unlike that other fuckface Erik who suffered his whole life alone #Also then in s3 there are STILL no mermen in the pod. Not even little mermen babies. No kids and teens they've welcomed back n apologized to #NOTHING #God. Mm pisses me off dude #AND I STILL HAVENT TOGGLED THAT FUCKING OPTIONS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #Cruddy rambles #God I'm not done I'm sorry fallout can wait YOU ARE TELLING ME THE GUY WHO TELLS US HOW SHITTY MERMAN BABIES R TREATED BY THE POD. IS NOT #THE SAME ONE THE POD APOLOGIZES TO IN THE SEASON FINALE BECAUSE THEY WROTE IN A SHITTY PLOT TWIST?#AUUUUUUUHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG #It's so bad. It's so fucking bad. It's so needlessly gendered and for what. They could've just had 2 rival warring pods #What pisses me off the most is that s3 (4) completely pivots and never really follows thru with the s1 and 2 story arcs #The writers just kinda wash thsir hands of that because 'hey the pod said sorry to zac' BUT THEN NOTHING ACTUALLY CHANGES!!!!#Maybe instead of having a constantly rotating cast of characters s3 (4) could've instead focused on Ondina and Erik's relationship a bit #Maybe have Ondina tell him she wants to just stay friends because she can't trust him. Have him IDK grow and change as a character?#Maybe so you can show kids nobody is born evil and we all need support systems and healthy relationships to grow and become better people??#THAT would've been a GOOD FOLLOW THROUGH #But no instead u just write him out of the show and never show any OTHER mermen who were exiled being welcomed back #Like u had Ondina becoming a teacher... Why not have Zac become a teacher for all the new mermen who were just recently welcomed back??

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archduke-enver-gortash · 5 months

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mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW

#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again.#sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does #like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful #while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child #like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all.#imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child #only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you #his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you #agree deep down #and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept #but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide #and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke #and you discarded it and got a new one #and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow #and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it #until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly #and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different #and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child #and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da #and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand #but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs!#so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee #his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing #and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately.#but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when.#like. imagine that. jesus dude.#like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love #or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do #with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here.#but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like

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topicaltropic · 3 months

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oops! all wips

#dndads #1st img is morgan . tried to solidify the type of person that would marry glenn & jodie and its like #manic pixie dream girl meets wife under bedsheets. fun loving carefree extremely irresponsible i imagine shes as much a bad mom as glenn is #a bad dad #close family dinner for each day of the week #i imagine its very depressing cool for kids sad for adult/college life meals #i had like a pmv/animatic of tmbg erase to nicks everything but ill never finish it sadge!#comic in the middle i was gonna do like a immediately after the final where willys defeated and schools out for summer norm and scary run #into eachother while theyre walking home #and scary would ask whats wrong and normal would be like #well knowing that the entire world ended because of me has been sort of weighing #on me yeah“ and then scary would go ”normal...do you wish that *was* the reason?“ which would lead normal getting dumbstuck cuz she hits #the nail on the hammer. and then hes incredibly defensive and hes like uh b buh NO !!! MAYBE !!! and scary would share her experience #but itd make normal more resentful cuz hed be like well it all worked out for you in the end with you and your dad and you mom who all love #you. and then scary would get irked and start to call him out but then now that the bottles been uncorked his resentment would start #spilling out.#“you burned my house down! i thought it was *my* family that had the connection with the doodler ! but why- when- ”#and normal would be so frustrated and he couldnt get his words out and hed refuse to look at scary while she looks at him w/ the hardest #look of conflicted sympathy and pain #and all she could say would be stop comparing yourself to me and shed mean that in the most compassionate way possible and norm would just #be like i know #and then the bus would come and scary would have to go but shed look back and then be like “am i still coming over saturday to play #and him busy crying would just give a thumbs up #god now that i write this out maybe i will draw it i have a little bit of time left why not #to me i think scarys someone normal would have the easiest time being mean to #one because of his latent misogyny and this like unconscious superciliousness he holds towards her yet shes the one receiving the #validation he sorely craves and knowing if theres anyone he could talk to and whos understand what hes going through its her so though he #isnt able to be emotionally vulnerable or engage in a deeper level but he does feel comfortable enough to lash out at her #last pic is if nick woke up post doodlerized and found himself on cassandras couch (where the teens placed him) and shes there to greet him

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hysteriasgarden · 9 months

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sometimes I feel guilty for disliking my parents, or moreso how they acted when I was a kid sometimes. because nowadays they're great. they're absolutely fine. so it would be ungrateful to say they're bad parents? they spoiled me as a kid if anything, they kept me safe and all that too.

but at the same time, them being good now doesn't change the fact that I needed them to be good when I was still growing. it helps nothing for them to be good parents now that I'm an adult and already fucked up from them. it changes nothing that they were slightly traumatizing when I was still developing and growing as a child

#mine #childhood trauma #parental abuse #I've recovered from most of those trauma symptoms I developed #or well... at least I cry and feel less dread when someone raises their voice nowadays #cry less*#I'm still an overly timid people pleaser with no self respect #who's too afraid to do anything to ever upset people even if it means ignoring my own comfort #because that's just what worked best as a kid #fighting back and getting upset just made things worse #doing things wrong would always instigate something #so I just learned to do things perfectly #and to accept what's dished out to me without making a fuss #I don't know if this behavior will be healthy in adult life though...#it has served me well through childhood but will it serve me in the workforce?#if things had been the opposite #if they had acted the way they do now when I was young #and been terrible now instead. maybe I'd be able to deal with them healthily?#maybe my entire personality would be different #not sure where I'm going with this #but I'm just wondering who I could've been if they had been a little nicer or a little calmer about things

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tittyinfinity · 6 months

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when you're disabled, being financially abused by your parents never ends

#so you're telling me that you got 5k this week from claiming me on your taxes #while hounding me about how i haven't been contributing enough to bills & expenses (i was giving you what you asked for!)#and none of it will go to me because ''i owe it to you for living with you''#despite the fact that 5k nearly covers the mortgage for the entire YEAR #DESPITE THE FACT THAT I COULD PAY OFF MY OWN LANDLORD AND MOVE OUT #btw i literally only let her claim me on her taxes bc she said she'd be giving it to me. and this is the third time she has done this.#promised me it wouldn't happen again. she used me.#she does this thing a lot #where she acts like she's helping people but only does it to hold it over their head #i told her i could have been paying her more for bills but she told me i didn't have to #and now she's complaining that i don't pay enough #i will literally tell her not to help me sometimes #bc she'll do it anyway and then later on you hear ''i did something nice for you so if you don't help me with a favor right now...#...I'll do everything I can to sabotage your life''#so she literally only does it for personal gain #so that she can have an excuse to feel like she's better than all of her kids and that we're just stupid ungrateful assholes #all 3 of her kids could be telling her that her logic is wrong and she won't budge #another thing that happened recently is that she told me i needed to pay her back for a gift she bought me that got stolen #which is also something she does a lot. buys me things without asking and then telling me i have to pay her back for them #i had way more stuff stolen that i had personally bought #i didn't ask for that fucking keyboard sorry. I ALREADY HAD ONE.#and she's been going on about how ''she's the one who's ACTUALLY being affected''#she is FULLY AWARE that the dude she lets over has stolen from us MULTIPLE times #but apparently it's my responsibility to pay her back for something out of my control #STOP BUYING ME SHIT AND TELLING ME I DON'T NEED TO PAY YOU MORE IF YOU'RE JUST GONNA HOLD IT OVER MY HEAD #IF I'M SUCH A BURDEN MAKE IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO LEAVE #.bdo

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clownprince · 1 year

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"you can't just ignore massive narratively consequential chunks of a characters' story that you don't like or disagree with" actually i can. and i do. and it's very easy ^_^

#this is abt harley and joker's entire relationship/dynamic btw #i will never forgive dc for making him a domestic abuser #i'm not a violent person generally but unironically i would give my life savings to fistfight every writer/creator who's been complicit in #that dynamic ^_^ i'm so mad i'm so fuckcing mad #i can excuse child murder / terrorism / assorted mass murder but i draw the line at hitting your partner #(joking. it has nothing to do with my mortality it's literally just a cptsd trigger for me lmfao)#but also the entire thing (heavily queer-coded character acting like a misogynistic wifebeater) is genuinely wildly homophobic and that Also #makes me IMMENSELY uncomfortable #the concept in general is. questionable at best but the way dc writers handled it in particular. fucking gross #this post also applies to bruce being physically abusive to his kids #no i don't consider him a good father but He Would Not Fucking Do That #more importantly ALFRED would not LET him do that #i am so full of rage and malice and resentment #“noooo you can't do that you're removing important bits of their characterization” i do not fucking CARE. go cry harder about it #anyway this isn't in response to anything i'm just in a mood (off my meds)

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dennisboobs · 8 months

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ok at the point now where looking at an image of dennis makes me want to smash my head through a wall

#ada speaks #idk how ppl exist in this fandom who don't feel bad for him tbh #which is the last thing den wants bc being perceived as weak and pitiable is devastating to him but #chasing this mfer down to give him a hug #he is so. fucked up. he has been fucked up by every adult in his life.#i think the fandom perceives him as this spoiled rich kid who had it better than most of the gang but the reality is #he was failed just like the rest of them and it's almost worse because he doesn't – and almost CAN'T – recognize this #letting the protective ego-boosting and boasting drop leads to him having to confront SO much baggage and i don't think he is mentally able #i think he DOES know deep down that everything is a lie and he has been hurt because we see that self awareness in ptsdee and tends bar #but his relationship with everyone in the gang is so strained that i don't think he would be able to have a moment like charlie did in s15 #even in tends bar there's a moment where they all recognize something is going on with him but immediately place him at the center #because he's the problem with him. anything done to him is his fault. it's not only something he reinforces. the gang does too #this must be because *dennis* has no feelings and he hates valentines day because everyone else is unlike him which makes *him* mad #the entire gang has an issue placing blame on themselves but to not even be able to conceive of dennis being hurt by them is. telling #because he's inhuman to them. it's how he's propped himself up and yet simultaneously hopes that they will see through that act #the way he reworks things in his mind so that everything is a consequence of his grand plan #means that he is always at fault regardless of whether he brushes the blame off #so he is not a *victim* of anyone else. because this was all under his control. he wasn't raped because he was initiating it.#klinsky was His Conquest. he was fourteen and she was in her fifties but he forced himself on her so that makes it His Fault.#it was a two way road. he's fourteen. and he 'entered' her. he's fourteen. but she was uncomfortable with his advances. but he was fourteen #cw csa mention

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kyuala · 11 months

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SOOOOOO hard to go through everyday life trying to ignore the never-ending feeling that im just irreparably fucked up and therefore should just give up on everything

#this aint exactly s******* but it aint exactly not s******* either #anyways it gets even harder when i have to live under the same roof as my brother who is so much better than me in every single conceivable #and imaginable way possible like #and i knowwww a LOT of it comes down to us having relatively similar yet wildly different lives despite being 1.5y apart and having the sam #family our entire lives like he has gone through NOTHING and i mean not a single societal issue ive had to face and endure my entire life #he's a man im a woman. he's white im black. he's straight im gay. he's skinny ive always been 'overweight'. he's always been the good #christian kid ive always had issues w faith and religion. he's never been mentally ill i was clinically depressed for nearly 8yrs of my lif #we both lost the same parent and im the only one who got pathological grief and a personality disorder out of it. he's had a great job for #the last 7yrs that now pays him 20k+ every month ive only had 3 odd jobs my entire life and 2 of those my MOTHER had to give me so i would #have SOMETHING and ive never made over 1.6k monthly n my last job was minimum wage only #he's had like 4 relationships and is nearly engaged im so traumatized + emotionally unavailable ive only ever been on 1 date my entire life #he has a good relationship w every family member we have i have Issues w like half the family. he's always been an active member of our #church i can barely listen to like 4 traditional hymns before i start losing my mind and spiraling. i think the only two ways we're pretty #much equal like socially is that we're both able bodied cis and christians but still the cis and christian thing is debatable for previousl #stated reasons so like. do yall see how much better he is doing than me in every little last area in life and how he's always gotten the #long straw when it comes to Not having to deal w certain obstacles in life. n i know its like yea idk what it actually is like to be him an #he could not be doing all that well first of all shut up. second of all if it was 1 or 2 things i'd get it but it's literally EVERYTHING #and i know bc of said things n our v different lives it's unfair to me to compare the two of us but then it begs the question: WHY #WHY did i have to go through these things. WHY do i have to deal w this. WHY did i get the short straw literally every goddamn time #WHY did i have to get THIS life like WHYYYYY why ME GOD. why have I had to put up w all this bullshit for 24 fucking years!!!!!!!!! im TIRE #and this is not me hating or resenting him i know it's not his fault and he is so good to me #but still. why was i left with these things? to live like this?#so yes i guess i do envy him a little bit. who wouldn't #mari.txt #personal #tw negative #dl #btw i do NOT mean some identities are better than others. i mean he is better and is doing better than me in life partially bc he's never #had to deal w certain social issues and obstacles that come w oppressed identities.

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angelstrawbabie420 · 5 hours

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grief will have you saying shit like goddamn and fuck maybe the abuse was worth it

#ive made this post before i just cant find it and it’s all im feeling rn #god i miss my parents so fucking much even though they were the cause of SO MANY of my problems that idk if i’ll ever heal from #but navigating life w this grief and without their support- however little it was- feels like hell #but the abuse felt like hell too.#ive said it before but i was JUST getting to a place where i felt i could stand up for myself and knock down thwir shit a few pegs. or at #least become more resistant to it #i saw a future with them in it for the first time in my LIFE #and it was bc i’d done SO MUCH FUCKING WORK. and now i feel like it was all so fucking useless #it’d be easier if i was still in the phase of anger i was at like 19 #but i’d processed that quite a bit and was trying to move on #FUCK. i had made SO much goddamn progress right before my mom got sick #then everything went down the toilet cus i cannot fucking have anything #it’s so unfair. i wish i could at least redo the last 3 years of my life #i would’ve done things so much different but i was so traumatized and still so angry and bitter and trying to preserve myself #ive come to the realization tjat the person i am today did not exist back then and therefore i shouldnt beat myself up bc it literally wasnt #available to me. i couldnt have done anythimg different bc i was in such a state of survival #and truthfully ive grown a lot since then even if im still in the trenches #the timeline of my entire life has been so fucking unfair #and i dont know how to reconcile any of it i dont know how to cope with my worst fears coming true #and i mean worst fears. even the way they passed. spot on to my worst fears #i despised what they did to me but i still didnt see life without them until i was at least 30 #it was all so sudden and quick and shocking #yeah they were horrible parents but i was a horrible kid too. maybe i straight up just deserved that shit #and i’d go back to that and seeing a future with them in an instant #over this bullshit #it’s so hard. and then losing all my pets too at the SAME TIME. all my babies #everything that i loved ripped away from me in the span of MONTHS #it’s all too much. l oh fucking l. no wonder im 3 shots deep at fucking 3 pm #it just hurts so bad. so fucking bad.

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