#also why do you have the hero of time there five separate times?

[youtube-fucker]

For those who are not as much of a Zelda freak as I am, here's each individual Link;

S: Oracle duology (Ages and Seasons, Hero of Legend), Link Between Worlds (Hero of Worlds (personal title I gave him), Breath of the Wild (Hero of the Wild), Ocarina of Time (Adult, looks to be the manga?) (Hero of Time), Majora's Mask (Hero of Time)

A: Hyrule Warriors (Hero of Warriors (another personal title I gave him), Link to the Past (Hero of Legend), Skyward Sword (Hero of the Sky), Wind Waker (Hero of Winds), Ocarina of Time (Young), Ocarina of Time (Adult)

B: Link's Awakening (Switch) (Hero of Legend), Twilight Princess (both wolf and human forms) (Hero of Twilight), Smash Bros. Brawl (uses TP design), Link's Awakening (Game Boy), Phantom Hourglass (same as Wind Waker), Link's Awakening concept art?, Minish Cap (Hero of Minish/Picori (ANOTHER personal title)), Smash for Wii U/3DS (also uses TP design)

C: Link to the Past (again, one is probably the GBA port), Skyward Sword (Mario Kart 8), Cadence of Hyrule (Hero of Music? Don't know, haven't exactly thought of this one), Smash Bros. Melee (uses Adult Ocarina), Triforce Heroes (fun fact; the green one is actually Link from Link Between Worlds, for some reason) (Hero of Worlds)

D: The Legend of Zelda (Hero of Hyrule), Zelda II: The Adventure of Link (Hero of Hyrule), "Well exuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-", CDI Link, not sure who the last one is EDIT: I have since learned that this is Smash 64 Link, which uses the Ocarina of Time Adult appearance

There are three (technically nine) Timeline Links missing: Four Swords (GBA port of Link to the Past) (Hero of Four), Four Swords Adventures (Game Cube) (Hero of Light) and Spirit Tracks (DS) (Hero of Spirits, another personal title and also my favorite Zelda game)

Dropping the Mic.

If I could, I would put Oracle Link at S+ Tier

He is peak design for the series

[wonderjanga]

Little British Boy

The Batsons were both British people who immigrated to America. As a result of this when Mary and Billy were born, they gained British accents causing them to sound like little Victorian children.

Store Owner: “Thanks for the help, young man.” *hands him five dollars*

Billy: “Thank you sir!”

Store Owner: “No problem-” *has to do a double take at that accent* “A Brit?”

Billy: “No sir. But my parents were. I was raised in America.”

Yeah… It confused some people at first, but after a while of the little British kid coming around and doing odd jobs for money, most store owners got used to it. Then came the time Billy wanted a stable job a.k.a. being the Whiz kid.

Mr. Morris: “So you want to be a radio host?”

Billy: “Yes, sir. I need the money.”

Mr. Morris: “Wow… It’s been a long while since I’ve heard a British accent.”

Billy: “Ah, sorry.” *tries to make himself sound more American, but it comes all across as more transatlantic* “Is that better?”

Mr. Morris: *heard the transatlantic accent and was immediately interested* “Very. Why don’t we have you do a trial run and then we’ll go from there?”

Billy: “I’d really appreciate that, sir.” *thinks he thinks his American accent is good, but doesn’t realize he’s doing a perfect transatlantic*

The Britishness also bled into his Captain Marvel form. Though like with Billy, he tried to sound more American and ended up coming across as more transatlantic. People in the 60s loved it, and when the time bubble popped surprisingly people from the 2000s loved it too. And because in this AU the bubble popped in the 2000s, this was when most heroes were first starting out. He ends up meeting a young Batman. Billy had originally gone to Gotham because they wanted to see if the city was still cursed to heck and sure enough it was.

Batman: “You sound just like the old Gray Ghost movies…”

Marvel: “What was that?”

Batman: “Nothing.”

Somehow, about a couple years after this, they ended up developing a friendship. Marvel was even allowed down in the Batcave on the condition he doesn’t touch anything. (Bruce literally saw the man touch something with his pinky and it short fused. He is not taking any risks until he is sure the Batcomputer can handle enough volts of electricity to take out a power plant.) One of these days while Bruce was working, and Marvel was in the cave pacing and chattering incessantly to Bruce about something random, Alfred came down. The butler distracted the Captain and after a bit, all Bruce could hear was unintelligible words.

At first, Bruce just assumed it was him zoning out of the conversation and thought nothing of it, but then Robin tiptoed over:

Robin!Dick: *pokes Bruce to bring him back to reality* “What are they saying…?” *points to Alfred and Marvel*

Alfred and Marvel: *speaking in Welsh*

Batman: “I… don’t know.”

Robin!Dick and Batman: *stares*

Ah… How could he have forgotten? Alfred’s Welsh. Though, the butler now speaks in a different English accent, likely due to his time as a stage actor. Bruce remembered the man telling him that long ago when he was still a boy. How… unprepared of Bruce. He should’ve learned Welsh by now. He’s a little embarrassed he hasn’t. As for Marvel, Bruce was a little upset he didn’t know the man was from England, let alone the same place as Agent A. But then where did the transatlantic-ness come from?

Robin!Dick: “I still can’t tell what they’re saying…”

Marvel and Alfred: *switched back to English at this point, but the accents are still strong*

So yes, Billy has three accents folks. His mother Marilyn was Welsh so he knows how to mimic the accent and speak the language because I say so. His father had a classic London accent which Billy defaults to most of the time. So, Billy’s double British, or just British and Welsh is you want to separate the two. Then there’s the fail-to-try-to-sound-more-American-accent or accidental transatlantic accent.

[satoshy12]

To forget the past is hard. Even if you try to ignore it.

Clockwork is Kronos.

Clockwork is visited by his ex-wife Rhea and she discuss their children and Kronos' disregard for them. Clockwork reveals that he thinks of them, with only a picture of Hestia and a large family portrait of Danny and Dani, while Rhea questions his intentions. They argue again.

++

Kronos, or Clockwork as he was now known, stood at his desk and adjusted his staff, knowing that someone would be visiting him in his home. The ticking of clocks filled the air of his lair in the Ghost Zone, he found it comforting as always. He turned slightly at the sound of a portal opening and sighed as the familiar figure stepped through. He had seen her coming and knew it. 

It was Titaness Rhea, his ex-wife, once Queen of the Titans, standing with an air of regal composure that eons of separation had not eroded. Her presence seemed to fill the room, her aura a subtle blend of authority and warmth. 

Clockwork stifled a groan. While he appreciated her rare visits, they always came with strings attached. What part of him that had changed and didn't need to see her all the time, or at all, didn't she understand?

"Clockwork," Rhea began, using his adopted name with strained politeness. She was still not used to calling him that, but she respected that he wanted to be called that. She crossed her arms and gave him a measured look. "It's been a while."

He turned to face her fully, his ghost tail now flying as he looked at her, hands clasped behind his back. "Indeed. I hope this is a fleeting visit, Rhea. I do have a schedule to keep."

Rhea's lips twitched, not quite a smile. "When is that not your excuse? Still, I wanted to see you. To talk." 

"About what?" he asked, though he already knew the answer. He hoped she would understand that he didn't want to talk about their children and their descendants. The less he thought about them, the better. 

"Our children," Rhea said, her tone pointed. "You've ignored them. Again."

Clockwork raised a brow, feigning confusion. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I've kept her in my mind. I even have a picture of one of them right here."

He gestured to his desk, where a very small but neatly framed photograph of Hestia rested; she wasn't looking at the camera as she worked at her hearth. He took the picture from one of his portals. Rhea followed his hand, her expression unimpressed. She can't believe he only had one picture of Hestia.

Rhea glanced at her ex-husband and wondered why she ever thought he cared. Even if he wasn't crazy anymore. 

Then she pointed behind him, to the huge family portrait that dominated the wall behind his desk. 

It was impossible to miss: a large painting, almost three metres high, showing Clockwork sitting on a chair in the centre, flanked by Danny Fenton and Ellie Fenton. The two half-ghosts stood confidently beside him, their expressions radiant with joy, and Clockwork also had a smile on his face. It had been so hard to get them both to behave the way the painter had painted the picture, so many hours. They couldn't sit still. But he liked the way it was going. 

"You were saying?" Rhea asked dryly.

Clockwork looked back at the portrait, then shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, as if talking about the weather. "Danny and Ellie are my apprentices. I look after them, guide them, teach them. So to speak. Not my children."

Rhea's brow furrowed, her patience waning. "And when exactly were you going to tell me about them? Or were you going to continue pretending I didn't exist for them? Or let me meet them."

Clockwork sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Rhea, we know how things turned out with the other five. I can handle this duo on my own. And Danny is a great hero, as is Ellie at the moment. Really great students."

The mention of their children - Hades, Hera, Poseidon, Zeus, Demeter and Hestia - hung heavily in the air. The bitter history of betrayal, war and broken family ties was not something any of them wanted to revisit. Or that Kronos wanted to talk about, let alone with his wife.

Still, Rhea glared at him, her anger simmering beneath the surface.

"You don't just start like that," she snapped. "Blaming me for how they got out! While praising the ones you took care of, how great heroes they are!"

Clockwork's tone became defensive. "I gave them stability, training and helped them find a purpose. Isn't that enough? Or would you rather I eat them? Or be given to me to eat."

Rhea's eyes flashed. "Don't you dare put that on me. You were the one who..."

"Yes, yes, I know," Clockwork interrupted, his voice uncharacteristically sharp. "The great betrayal I gave you, the swallowing of children, the rebellion of Zeus, how you hid the boy. We're past that, Rhea. I have moved on from the past. Perhaps you should too.

The argument spiralled from there, as it always did. Words turned to accusations, accusations turned to frustration. Rhea's voice grew louder, while Clockwork's remained icy, but no less cutting. The air in the cave grew heavy with tension, time itself seemed to slow under the weight of their unresolved grievances.

Finally, Rhea threw up her hands. "You are unbearable, Kronos!"

Clockwork stiffened at the use of his old name. "And you are implacable, Rhea."

Rhea took one last look at her husband and the painting behind him. Before she left.

"Silence at last. I really should not bet with my own powers whether she will visit or not."

[justatalkingface]

If we already on Aizawa talk, it’s pretty obvious that Hori wanted to create another kakashi.

But he ultimately failed to understand what made Kakashi so popular, kakashi also wasn’t that much liked in part 1… while Aizawa is worshipped in the fandom as a saint that can’t do anything wrong.

Kakashi regretted everything at the end of part 1 and improved so much by the time of part 2.

Aizawa took 2 wars to apologize to izuku, and even then it was felt half assed.

Fundamentally, I think the thing is that Kakashi is a character that belongs in the Naruto setting. Like. He's a character that makes sense; his motivations make sense, his actions make sense... he fits.

Eraserhead, though, is unironically just all of Kakashi's beats copied onto MHA, but... you know, he's not in ninja land, so a lot of his actions don't make sense? He is a character that exists in MHA, not one that fits in it.

For example: we know Kakashi teaches because he's basically mandated by law, as part of a master apprentice system. Because the village helped raise him as high as it did (along with it being an absolute military dictatorship built around trying to monopolize violence), he's obligated to give back to it by helping raise the next generation.

Moreover, it quickly became apparent that he liked teaching. He may not have been the best at it early on, but the man unironically seemed to have a blast fucking around with teaching them every day, even before he really became attached. Also, he actually taught them things.

Aizawa teaches because he... likes teaching...? *flashes back to every moment where Aizawa basically says, 'Don't you dare child anywhere I can possibly perceive you* along with... peer pressure. Apparently.

He's in a school, where he's expected to teach entire classes of children all day, five days a week... but he seems to hate that?

He's admitted, I think on multiple occasions, that he hasn't taught them anything, (which I agree with, since he generally just exists nearby while the kids teach them damn selves.)

Another notable flaw is Hori fundamentally misunderstands why Kakashi wouldn't shut up about 'underneath the underneath' before Shippuden (where all subtly flew out the window): because the man is a fucking ninja, in a world populated by ninja, dominated by ninja wars, teaching ninja children how to be ninja.

By definition, they're supposed to be paranoid, unhappy little shits that'd sooner kill someone than believe a word they say, because that means they would have better odds of surviving the hellscape that is Naruto.

Aizawa, meanwhile. is teaching heroes. Public figures. And not only that, he's teaching how not to trust badly.

Kakashi's lessons are practical, yet calculated: when he tricks them, it's always light, harmless teasing, or a dead ass serious lesson on, 'if you keep doing this kind of thing some asshole is going to stab you'. Even though he's doing all that, though, there's never a doubt in the kid's minds to trust him if he gets serious because his happy go lucky persona is clearly that: a persona. It's just one more mask he wears, which means Serious Business is clearly separated from Silly Kakashi Fun Time.

Aizawa teaches them... that he's lazy, he hates them, and that he's allergic to the truth. That's... that's it. No matter how much he pretends it's a lesson, it's really just his personality, so the kids have no reason to trust anything he tells them without evidence.

Fundamentally, their trust in him should be so broken that it actually puts them in danger, because there really doesn't seem to be anything he takes seriously, so when he tells them something important.... they say, 'Cite?', instead of acting on what he says, because of all the other times he told them something 'important', and it was 'jUsT a LOgiCaL RUse'.

Unironically, the fact that this man was never fired actually breaks my suspension of disbelief more than the idea of superpowers ever will, and the fact that he's never gotten any of the kids he's 'taught' killed flat out destroys it. I've mentioned it before, but his behavior logically would have gotten some of that class murdered because of how little they trusted him.

All of that combined, I think, is why he's designated The Mouth of Hori, given that 'sacred' role to push whatever message Hori wants to readers to get: because he's not a character in his own right, he's a half assed Naruto character randomly put there to get viewership, so whatever out of nowhere action he does to push Hori's agenda doesn't distract from all the other out of nowhere actions he does to push Hori's agenda.

[infamousbrad]

Alex Garland's Civil War is my perfect movie. I'm not sure who else's, though.

There's a thing I've said about lots of art: if you have to read the artist's statement to get the point, the artist's statement is the art. I read multiple interviews with Garland, went in prepared for the movie he was trying to make, and I loved it, a lot. I don't know if I can say that I enjoyed it, because it's super-emotional, especially super-tense. But I'm very very glad I saw it, and if somebody invited me to go with them, I'd probably watch it again, and I may well buy the blu-ray when it comes out. That being said? I'm not sure who else, other than a few weirdos like me and a few academic cinephiles this movie is for.

Remember the movie Pleasantville, if you even saw it? The trailer mislead a lot of people into expecting a jokey comedy about how dumb "Return to Normalcy" era sitcoms were, and nearly everybody who went in with those expectations hated Pleasantville, because what they got was a deep philosophical meditation on how you can't actually solve a social problem without losing your innocence, and loss of innocence, no matter how necessary, hurts. So almost nobody loved Pleasantville but a few people like me, who wanted it injected straight into our veins.

So let me lay this straight out before you buy your ticket to Civil War:

First of all, at no point in Garland's Civil War do they tell you the politics of any of the three sides in the near-future second American Civil War. Nor are you expected to figure them out. The war started four or five years before the first scene of the movie, and none of the people in this movie are still interested in debating why the war. There are three sides, and while there are people who say that the Western Forces are Democrats and the Florida Alliance are Republicans and the Federal Army are Trumpist, they are reading their own prejudices into way too few background clues and ignoring the other background clues that contradict that theory.

I know that every American who sees this movie is watching to find out which army is "on my side," which one they're supposed to be rooting for, and that is not a movie that Alex Garland wanted to make. You are supposed to be rooting for the war to just be over and elections to resume. Because that's what every civilian and every soldier wants, and nearly all the unlawful combatants. And also ...

This is not a war movie. If you want the (somehow, to you anyway) relaxing catharsis of cheering while lots of military hardware gets used? You are going to hate Civil War because this movie is, to borrow an older metaphor, Tomorrowland to your Mad Max: Glory Road. Garland made this movie to shame you particularly if you like war movies. The total amount of combat footage in this movie probably doesn't reach 20 minutes, and our main viewpoint character for the final battle sequence is a traumatized civilian.

One last thing I can say before diving behind a spoiler warning, though: it is an amazing technical movie, this thing should win all the technical Oscars next year. In particular, the principal photography is the best I've ever seen and the way it mixes (and sometimes un-mixes!) the separate audio tracks perfectly manipulates the tension level. And all four lead actors put their whole selves into these parts and held nothing back.

So what is this movie if it's not a political movie or a war movie? I can't tell you that without diving at least partway into spoiler territory, so ...

Alex Garland wants to prove two things in this movie:

Life in a failed state sucks ass. Yes, even if you're nowhere near the combat zone. And ...

War correspondents and combat photographers themselves wonder if what they're doing is making any difference, but they're heroes for trying.

The journalists themselves can't point to a single time what they do prevented or stopped a war, and they very much wonder if they're just adrenaline-addicted glory-hogs. But even not even knowing if what they're doing will ever save a single life, they are absolute fucking heroes. They put themselves at insane risk because this is the only thing that they know how to do and if it has any chance of saving lives, of preventing or stopping war, it has to be tried.

Our main cast are four journalists: an elderly war correspondent, a middle aged war correspondent, a middle aged combat photographer, and a (too) young combat photographer on a mission:

They start in Federally occupied NYC, reporting on anti-regime protests and terrorist attacks. They've heard rumors about the actual war. Right now the front line is a three-way battle for control of Charleston, South Carolina. They've heard that the Westerners and the Floridians are going to fight each other to the death as soon as they push the Federals out of the Carolinas, and then on July 4th, just a week away or so, the likely winners, the Westerners, are nearly certain to seize the capitol. They think the 5 year war is almost over, and are trying to figure out how to cover the end. This is, like, literally the whole of the first two scenes.

The old guy wants to cover the battle of Charleston "for whatever is left of the New York Times" and then retire. The three younger journalists have an even crazier idea: skip the battle of Charleston and use the last remaining highway into/out of DC to outrun the Western Forces and cover the fall of the White House.

So the overwhelming majority of the movie is a several day, many hundred mile road trip in an armored car marked PRESS. This involves driving west to Pittsburgh and then back east to Charleston, to get around the combat zone, which results in the real main part of the movie:

The road trip is intended to show you how much the combination of anarchy, localized paranoia, and fear of looters is driving various levels of savagery far from the war zone, which the reporters and photographers keep stopping to document.

It ends with the race to keep up with the Western forces so they can cover the fall of the White House, which is the only long combat scene in the movie, and it is incredibly intense, and very loud and scary, and nobody except maybe the kid photographer covers themselves in glory.

And every scene of it tells the same didactic message, told in about a dozen different ways: when the war is over, whether or not you were "on the right side" is going to matter a lot less than the horror you lived through, and wartime journalists put themselves through hell to try to prove that to you before it's too late.

[dessarious]

What Makes a Family? Pt28

Beginning   Previous

"Well, this is it." Marinette didn't know why she was so nervous about this. It was just a school. A school with great access points and camera blind spots. So, wonderful for hero work, but pretty terrible for student safety. Bruce wouldn't try to pull her out because it was less secure than the fortress Cass said her brothers went to, would he? Worse, he could insist on installing updated security and make her life a lot harder. Note to self; do not let Bruce know anything about her school life.

"You need to unclench Dupain-Cheng. You're making me nervous and that doesn't happen." Chloe's dry comment at least let her breathe again. "And I thought I hated this place." The way she muttered it, Marinette was fairly certain Chloe didn't mean to be heard.

"It's not that. I just occurred to me that Mr. Wayne might check security measures if Cass is going here and that could be... inconvenient."

"Yeah, Damocles doesn't say no to powerful people, especially if they're willing to foot the bill. You're going to want to get ahead of that." Great, if Chloe was onboard with her paranoia, she needed to start planning. Wonderful.

"If he does, I'll have Alfred make sure there are holes. The roof for sure." Cass was studying the building with a trained eye.

"You're sure that will work?" Bruce didn't seem the type to allow holes, especially if he wasn't the one using them.

"I'm sure." Cass gave her hand a squeeze and Marinette relaxed slightly. Given Hawkmoth's tendency to attack during school hours, they needed safe ways to leave the building.

"Alright, let's get you familiar with the layout. While I have no intention of being separated while we're here, I'd rather you be comfortable navigating the building on your own." Cass gave her hand another squeeze in response. Marinette wasn't certain why she was so reluctant to have Cass here, but she knew it would only get worse when it was full of people.

Marinette felt even more on edge as they entered the courtyard. The only thing that kept her from noping straight out of there was knowing that Luka, Kagami, and Chloe were watching their backs. The five of them should be able to handle any threat. It didn't stop her from jumping when a voice sounded from above them.

"I can't believe you asked me to meet you in a school." Jason sounded disgusted, and when she looked up, she was met with another surprise. Damian was next to him, scowling down at her. Well, there went her hopes that Bruce wouldn't get involved. As they walked down to meet them, Marinette tried to come up with a Plan B.

"I also asked you to meet me in an hour, so we would be on our way out." She did not want the boys to come along on the tour, given she'd planned on giving Cass a rundown on the best places to disappear and show her the massive gaps in the limited security. "Why don't you two stay here and eat with Luka, Kagami, and Chloe? I'll give Cass a quick tour and we'll be back in fifteen minutes."

"Why did you invite us here if you didn't want to spend time with us?" She wasn't certain what to do with Damian's tone, but his tense stance screamed hurt. She really didn't know what to do with that.

"I do want to spend time with you, which is why I told Jason to be here later so I wouldn't have other things to do."

"And yet you only invited him." There it was. She debated how much she should say.

"I did. He's the only one who seems completely supportive of my boundaries with Mr. Wayne, and he's also the only one who's given me their phone number. I was hoping to get advice from him and Cass about how to approach everyone. I have a feeling that I'm going to have a tense relationship with Mr. Wayne for the foreseeable future, but I would still like to have a chance to get to know the rest of you."

Damian was scowling, but he seemed to be looking through her. Marinette glanced at Cass and her twin offered a comforting smile. Jason, however, seemed to be holding his breath. Eventually, Damian pulled out his phone and handed it to her with a new contact open. She put in her number but left the name blank so he could put in what he wanted. That got a raised eyebrow.

"I do not understand why you're so insistent on shutting Father out. He has a lot of experience that could be valuable to you. You should listen to him." Well, she didn't think they'd get here this quickly.

"Two reasons. First, he's not offering advice. He's trying to control how I live because he thinks he knows better than me. Second, have you ever heard the phrase, take advice from someone who has the life you want?" Damian shook his head. "Well, I don't want M. Wayne's life. Given his romantic history, he's the last person I would want advice from. Yes, he seems to have settled at the moment, but his current relationship with Selina in newer than mine with Luka and Kagami. Given what happened at my parents' house this morning, I certainly don't want his advice on how to have a relationship with the rest of you. My business is exactly where I want it to be, and I can scale it up whenever I'm ready, so I don't need his input on that either. While I wouldn't mind talking to him about it, he seems the type to simply try and take over."

Jason was nodding along to everything she said, but Damian was still scowling at the floor. Cass started signing at him, and his expression turned more neutral.

"Why are you so certain he's wrong?" He at least sounded interested in her answer.

"About my significant others, or in general?"

"Both."

"Well, I know Luka and Kagami, and he doesn't. Not to mention he hasn't given a reason that he distrusts them, so I have no reason to trust his instincts over mine. As for everything else, I'm not certain he's wrong. But until he's willing to have a discussion with me instead of trying to tell me what to do, I'm not going to listen to his opinions on things. Especially things he knows nothing about."

"Good for you. He'll steamroll you if you give him an inch." Jason sounded... proud maybe? "Demon Spawn is still at the stage where he thinks B can do no wrong. He'll learn." Marinette winced.

"Please don't call him that around me. My Maman isn't the only one that doesn't like insulting nicknames. And at his age, his Papa should be infallible. Honestly, I should not have had that discussion in front of any of you, but especially not Damian. And I am sorry about that." Both boys were just staring at her like they couldn't comprehend her words. Given that Cass had laid into Bruce with everyone present, maybe they didn't. Finally, Jason cleared his throat.

"Trust me, you want witnesses. And you don't want other people's opinion of you to be based only on B's grumblings. While most of us know better than to trust outside opinions, you don't want anyone biased against you because he complained."

Marinette managed a distracted hum as she thought of the implications. Not only with Bruce's family. Batman was well respected and a leader of the Justice League. He could cause her an innumerable amount of headaches. She might have to introduce herself to them before he had a chance to claim she was inexperienced, or worse, inept. One more problem to worry about.

"I'm sure it will be fine. I've overcome people thinking badly of me based on other's words before. I can do it again." She could tell her tone was off by the way Jason studied her. It didn't help that Chloe was muttering curses in most modern languages. Cass leaned into her side.

"We should look around. You two stay here." Damian still looked like he wanted to argue with Cass, but Jason grabbed his shoulder and squeezed hard enough that the boy was glaring at him instead.

"You know I'm not going to turn down food. Come on Dem-uh, Damian. They be back before we're finished, and you can keep grilling them then." The Boy let out an annoyed noise, but didn't protest. Chloe herded them back outside, while Cass tugged Marinette further into the building.

"You don't like it here." Marinette could only offer her twin a strained smile.

"It was better when Chloe was still here, but it's my last year."

"We'll make it better." Marinette let out an amused laugh.

"I'm sure you're right. I hope the fact that Alya has figured out Lila's been lying all this time will help, too. Though it could complicate other things as well." Cass hummed in acknowledgement. Given she hadn't met any of the class yet, she had to take Mari's word for everything. "Come on. I need to show you the best places to be able to disappear."

While the school wasn't small, it still only took them ten minutes to do a walk-through. It was honestly a little depressing how little security she had to point out. Between that, roof access, the bathrooms, and that one classroom that for some reason was never in use, she covered all the easy, safe escape points. When they made it outside, Jason was joking around with the others. Damian was studying everyone, but he did look less hostile.

"How's the food?" Marinette could tell how Jason felt by the grin he turned on her.

"It's amazing!"

"It is adequate." Jason looked like he was about to argue with Damian, but Mari waved him off.

"Adequate because you've had better or simply because you don't like this type of food?" Damian blinked at her, and she had to wonder if people ever asked about his preferences. He hesitated before answering.

"The spices are not to my tastes." She started talking with him about foods he did and didn't like. Jason was looking at them like they'd each grown two heads. She had to wonder why a civil conversation caused such a reaction, but that was a later problem. Right now, she just wanted to keep Damian talking to her without hurling threats.

Talking about food led to him being a vegetarian, which led to his pets. Soon she was cooing over pictures of them all while Damian detailed how Alfred the Cat tripped up just about everyone in the family. Pretty soon, they were talking about the logistics of having pets on a boat with Luka. She hadn't really considered it, but she had always wanted pets.

"Cats have a long history of being on board for vermin control. It would probably be good to get them as kittens, so it's easier for them to acclimate. I could be more help if I could see the vessel."

"Sure. I have plenty of pictures." Jason and Damian both frowned at her, but she couldn't completely read the expression.

"Why not just show us?" The way Cass was glaring at Jason, Mari knew she wasn't reading too much into his tone. Before either of them could react, Chloe let out a snort of laughter.

"Because no one wants to drive that far right now, given we have school tomorrow. Their 'not a yacht' is too big to get here from the ocean, so it stays on the coast." The fact that they almost always went there using Kaalki wasn't something she needed her brothers finding out just yet.

"Not to mention it's her choice to invite you to her home." The warning in Cass' tone seemed to surprise the boys. Mari was going to have to be careful coming and going for a while. The Bats were almost certain to break into it at some point in the near future. Probably more than once. It should take them a few days to find it, given it wasn't in any of their names. Of course, that would shoot up a whole different set of red flags. It also meant Bruce would almost certainly tell the rest of them she was Ladybug. She'd have to talk to Cass about outing the Bats to her team, so they were prepared. It wasn't the way she wanted it to happen, but there wasn't much choice. Chloe would probably put it together on her own once she caught up. It was widely known that Batman and Catwoman were an item.

"I'd love to have you guys over, but probably not this visit since you're planning on leaving before the weekend. That and I honestly don't have the energy for whatever lecture Bruce is going to come up with for why it's irresponsible to buy something that expensive so young, let alone with other people."

Damian looked thoughtful, but Jason had a guilty expression. Apparently, she couldn't trust him yet. She really didn't want to have to start lying to people again. Why couldn't anything just be simple?

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[to-the-stars8]

Warnings: Mention of suicidal thoughts

So, anyone who wants to hear it, here’s how I think the story of Batman and all of his Robins should have gone in terms of just writing it like it was story. Mind you, most of the basic elements of the Robin's backstory are gonna obviously be in here, just fyi if you just see things that you already know. I am would love to hear what you guys think, too!

Now, quick disclaimer, I’m just going to go with the four main robins only because I know them best— other robins such as Carrie Kelley or Stephanie Brown I’m not as familiar with. I hope to one day to also extend this to other sidekick/people Batman works with, but that’ll be a separate post. Anyway, one more warning; this will be long. 

Starting off with the death of Dick Grayson’s parents. Bruce sees them die, and instantly makes the connection between himself and newly orphaned Dick Grayson. It's one of the main reasons why Bruce takes him in. After all, he was once a boy so riddled by trauma and pain that he thought (at least in the beginning of being Batman) that violence and vengeance was the only answer. So, when Bruce adopts Dick, he doesn't want him to go down the same path. This is where I want to the conflict between Bruce trying to be not only a better person for Dick, but to also attempt to hold onto the feelings that drive his vengeance. Because, the way I would write it, Bruce is still pretty new at being Batman, he hasn't yet realized his "mission" isn't just getting his revenge on Gotham's criminals—It's creating a better life for the people there so they, too, wouldn't have to go through what he did. Though, another small disclaimer, I'll admit that I am missing a few pieces there.

Back to the main topic, if I lose you at all blame the ADHD, so Dick comes to Wayne Manor where he's angry at the world for what happened to his parents. Bruce, who is probably in his mid-twenties at this point, has no clue how to be a parent. He doesn't want to overstep his boundaries with Dick, but the boy is increasingly becoming angrier and angrier. The idea of Dick becoming anything like Bruce, in terms of being Batman, doesn't cross his mind because, unlike some DC writers, I don't think Bruce was actively looking for child soldiers.

Anyway, there is already the underlying push and pull factor between the two, which I think will probably define the rest of their relationship. And, like mentioned before, this is where I would want Bruce to try to be a better Batman, relying not on violence because he can see how it's affects others.

To further explain in a round-a-bout way, young Dick and Bruce are essentially mirrors of each other. And, I don't think Bruce entirely approves of how he, meaning Bruce himself, acts. Hence, why he begins to change Batman from a vengeful, violent vigilante (say that five times fast) to a hopeful knight of Gotham. Dick is his driving force of change, as well as the other Robins. So, when Bruce finally realized that Dick won't simply stand by and be the little boy that he should be—He gives him a chance to be something better than Batman. To begin his career as a vigilante as a hero with hope rather than rage. He's reluctant to do it, because he loves Dick. (Granted, Dick Grayson's Robin is absolutely filled with rage, but, in my story, Bruce is trying to lead from example)

And, just to move through the rest of it quickly so this isn't the same word count as the fucking constitution, as Dick grows so does Bruce. Batman is hopeful, and Bruce is gaining a family. Granted, it's small, but it's there. Along the way, he makes friends. Dick is the reason for this, though some credit can be given to Bruce himself. Despite being angry, Dick will always be outgoing, it's one of the best traits his parents passed onto him—And, he passes that along to Bruce. He begins to learn how a family functions, even if it's a hint of it. he is starting to realize there is more beyond the mask.

So, when the relationship between them starts to break down I would want to see that opposite reaction in the other relationships around Bruce. Because, before Dick, it was isolation, facade, anger, and Batman. Now, when he leaves, it's just that again.

I want to see this internal struggle between Dick letting Bruce be his father and letting him be his partner. Because, despite being similar, one holds more resent than the other. Dick can't stand that Bruce is trying to parent him because he had family, and now they were gone. He doesn't want to have a replacement family nor does he want to lose it again. With Batman, there comes the difference between ideologies. As Bruce strays away from untethered violence into something a bit more calmer, Dick is still filled with that same anger, causing a clash.

Eventually, it hits a breaking point when Bruce takes away the one thing that Dick himself created, the rope in their game of tug of war breaks. Dick leaves, Bruce isolates, and it seems that Gotham once again dissolves back to how it used to be.

Then, Bruce meets Jason. And, it's not like with Dick. It's different. Jason wasn't filled with anger or lost hope, he was a happy, hopeful kid. He wanted to be a kid, and Robin just happened to be a good fit for him, too. So, this is really when Bruce becomes Bruce not Batman. Bruce had gotten the taste of that with Dick, but Batman always seemed to have some tug in their relationship. At this point, I want to see Bruce realize just how much that affected his relationship with Dick and feel the remorse over that. I would want to see Bruce reach out to his eldest son, and be rejected because Dick is still wounded. In fact, Dick himself, despite legally being an adult, is a kid. He's hurt over Bruce essentially replacing, in his eyes, and finding a "better" son. This drives in harder the idea of Bruce wanting to not stop being Batman, but put more of an effort of just being Dad/Bruce. Again, Bruce is learning.

Back to Jason. Jason, in this story, would be one of the first Robins to really experience Bruce as a father. And, that turns the relationship of Batman and Robin less into a partnership and more into a father-son duo without one trying to control the other as much. Yet, there's still the distinction of just how different Jason is compared to Dick and Bruce. Jason never had a family, not a stable one at least, nor did he grow up financially stable. Jason was essentially the average poor Gotham kid, which did kick up a lot of backlash between the two. Yet, nothing too serious. In fact, I feel like Bruce would probably start being a lot more lenient with Jason at the beginning with just how easy he was as not just a sidekick but as a son.

And this is what I believe would lead to Jason leaning more into his violent tendencies compared to Dick. Now, before the torches do light, hear me out. I do not think Jason is an outwardly or inherently a violent kid. I think with the innate sense of justice Bruce would instill all of his Robins combined with being exposed to violence socially and now personally, it would lead to Jason seeing some flaws in Batman's logic. He might sense that since one person continuously abuses the system and gets away with hurting/murdering people that it might be better to eliminate the problem all together. This idea growing on Jason would lead to the death of Felipe, causing a huge and sudden rift between the two. Ultimately leading to Jason being kidnapped, tortured and killed all in pursuit of finding someone who might accept him despite Bruce never having rejected for what he did.

Eventually, after Jason died Bruce is in this hole of regret, remorse, and overall probably a bit suicidal. Afterall, he lost his son and feels like because he let Robin be that it caused Jason's death. So, when Dick re-enters the picture with Tim Drake, a boy finding and wanting to be Robin, I can see Bruce absolutely lashing out in grieving anger. Because, again being Robin had killed his son and he would be damned if that happened again. Yet, Tim being Tim was determined to show Bruce that it wasn't him or Robin that killed Jason—It was a mad man and a woman who deceived her son. Kind of playing into the idea it's not Robin who makes the boy, it's the boy who makes Robin. Not only that, but Tim is adamant that he will be Robin to not only prove this but also to show that Robin and Batman are two sides of the same coin. Ultimately, reverting back to Batman and Robin being a partnership instead of that father-son duo. At least, at first.

Bruce is protective of Tim, but there is definitely the drift in their relationship. Because, as we all know Tim's story, he still had parents when he became Robin so there was no need to fill that son position, for the lack of a better term, Jason had left behind. So, in a sense, I can see this relationship between the two starting off more like a boss and worker. Yet, as they continue to work together, Bruce would probably learn that Tim is making Robin, not the other way around. At this point, also, I can see Dick be more involved and bridge that gap with his father after seeing just how deeply he cares for his children.

Then, Tim's parents are murdered and I think the guilt would come back to Bruce, albeit a bit less extreme. He would feel responsible for putting this child in this situation and want to take him out of that. Yet, Tim is pushing against not only as a partner but as a potential son that which would definitely affect their relationship. This is why I personally would think that Tim and Bruce's relationship would be the most strained out of all of the Robins, though the two do share a deep connection it's just not as serious, again lack of a good term, as the other's.

Because I'm slowly getting more tired, I am going to try my best to get through Damian's. Again, guys, feel free to ask questions because this is just surface level stuff. If anyone makes it to this point, anyway or even reads this lol.

Alright, so just jumping into Damian, I think Bruce would treat Damian as he would have Jason. Unlike all the other Robins there's already a establish connection between the two before they even meet. I mean, Damian is literally his bio son and Damian is told that all throughout his life, so it would be a more of a one-sided connection at first then it grow on Bruce. Damian doesn't need training unlike all of his other predecessor's, the boy's already pre-programmed with skill. The major issue would be honing in on the assassination part of Damian and essentially Bruce's trauma from his other children.

So, right from the gate, I think Bruce would try to be a father to his Damian rather just Batman. And, I think Damian, at first, would not respond well to that. For his whole life, it's just been fight or die, nothing in-between. I think it would be interesting to see Bruce fall back into being a father, which, at this point, he already would have been since Dick returned and Tim and him slowly got closer. I think Bruce would be tougher on Damian simply because of how worried he would be for his safety and well-being. Bruce knows the League of Assassins and how it is absolutely no place for a young boy. So, Bruce would try to create normalcy like he did with Jason, but also be tough like he was on Dick. Overall, I think there's the same push and pull with them like with Bruce and Dick, but not to the extent as it was. After all, I would like to think at this point, Alfred convinced Bruce to go to therapy. Though, it can be said the two would also share a close personal relationship like Jason and Bruce.

I would go on, but, right now, I have a huge headache, so might edit later.

That's pretty much it guys. I know there might be some contradictions in this, but, to be fairly honest, this is just a streamline of thought. I think I read over this once, so any inconsistencies are just left. Please ignore. Or point out. It's pretty much either or. Again, I would love to know what you guys think. Hope you enjoyed this rant. I am going to bed now. ❤️❤️❤️

[charismabee]

Thinking about the Hunted and the Paranoid They'd be such a force to be reckoned with if one of the others got hurt (assuming separate bodies for my convenience). They'd both immediately be in protective mode because a) injured member of the flock, susceptible to preditors, must protect until healed and b) if its not properly treated it might get worse, it might get infected and then they'll die and a piece of the group will be lost and then they'll all start dying and everything will be terrible forever.

So whoever is injured is dragged to the nest or whatever place is currently safest to be fussed over by the Paranoid while the Hunted watches over them. I can see the Hunted being like 'I'll protect you' and sitting on top of them, covering their body like an overprotective blanket while Paranoid worries over them being crushed or suffocated by the protective cuddle. They're fine Hunted is like 90% fluff and feathers. Not that heavy, perfect blanket. Everyone who isn't injured has to avoid them because Hunted will lash out if you get too close to the injured person he's protecting, abs then they get stuck in there with the injured person because they've been scratched.

I can see the others reacting in a variety if different ways to this.

Hero, Broken, Opportunist, and Smitten would probably enjoy the attention.

Hero a bit more bashful and grateful for the help even if its excessive which it probably is.

Broken being a mix of shocked that anyone would be nice to him and mopey about how he doesn't deserve it and what's the point in helping him. He's just going to get hurt again later anyway.

Opportunist takes the opportunity (ha) to get attention and affection and conformation that everyone likes him because let's be honest with ourselves he may act cocky but that man is desperate.

Smitten is a weird one. He's the type to be all 'these five stab wounds are nothing in the face of my dedication and love', but he probably loves being taken care of. He would prefer if it was the princess though.

Cold and Skeptic would just put up with it.

Cold doesn't care enough to stop them, though he will tell them that he's fine and they're being stupid and his broken arm isn't a problem, pain isn't a bad thing, they don't believe that and Paranoid tries yet again to explain to him why pain is bad.

Skeptic knows it's excessive but he also knows it'll soothe their worries if he lets them confine him to the nest for a week. He can do his philosophy in there it isn't a huge deal for him. He gets to pester them about the inner workings of their minds while he's there too, enrichment.

Cheated, Contrarian, and Stubborn would complain the whole time.

Cheated would so be a whiner about the whole thing. He hates being hurt, and he hates being taken care of even more. It's like an admission that whatever hurt him won. Which it didn't. He'd be even more upset if they didn't fuss over him though because that wouldn't be fair.

Contrarian would hate being stuck in one place for an extended period of time. Just knowing he's not allowed to leave makes him want to really bad, plus he gets bored easy and Hunted keeps puffing up and hissing at everyone until they leave so he can ensure Contrarian is safe so he only has these two worryworts to talk to and they're no fun to wind up because they're too busy fussing to react to his japes and such.

Stubborn would hate being seen as weak. He doesn't need to be protected or patched up, he's stronger than that. They'd still get him to let them do it, but like the Skeptic it's only for their piece of mind. He still complains the whole time.

Hunted would hate being injured and having Paranoid fuss over him. He doesn't like staying still. He'd probably sit through it though because he's objective enough to understand that if injured he does need to heal. After all, how will he evade preditors if injured?

Paranoid I could see appreciating the Hunted watching over him. He'd patch himself up tho, no one is getting near him while he's hurt, Hunted helps keep everyone else away though so it works.

[leighlew3]

So I watched the animated Legion of Super Heroes and I just can’t. I can’t with straight Supergirl anymore. Mon El as a villain? Phenomenal. Do I hate Brainiac 5? No. But the romance doesn’t work for me. Despite its flaws, once you’ve seen Supercorp, the plot beats and heteronormativity of Kara and Brainiac 5 just can’t compete. You also can’t convince me Sasha Callie’s Supergirl was straight either.

Preach. While it was hilarious to see Mon-El as a villain and have Kara kick his ass (which now makes 3 separate versions where that ship has been buried one way or another by DC, The CW, WB, etc) ... I'm honestly so sick of watching them do the same things with Kara again and again and again, especially on the romantic front, and it's entirely uninteresting for the most part.

I mean it's pretty ironic that the single best love story she's ever had in any medium was the queerbaited one between she and Lena Luthor in TV series, ffs.

Until they realize that the concept of Kara/Lena (aka the real "Supercorp" despite a couple of DC writers recently attempting to st-- I mean conveniently use the exact LGBTQ fan-created phrase, a very similar logo to the LGBTQ fan-made one and even utilize some eerily similar SC elements from the SGCW TV series) is a literal GOLD MINE of creative opportunity and money to be made... they're going to just continue to rinse and repeat the same dull shit and wonder why most people simply just don't care and they can't break out of the box (except with a couple limited runs like WoT which have no love interest).

Kara/Lena as a romantic couple literally subverts a 60+ year lore of Super vs Luthor -- taking it from a story of hate to a literal love story, and also bringing the characters back to some rather interesting and queercoded dynamics they already demonstrated between the two way back in the Silver Age comics.

Interestingly, DC has already toyed with a sapphic Supergirl in various versions already. In Bombshells: United #33 she kissed Lois Lane. In DC's Dark Knights of Steel Miniseries in 2021, they had Supergirl and Wonder Woman in a queer relationship. And with the CW tie-in Batwoman comic run for DC, the author recently subtly confirmed Kara/Lena as dating.

So why continue to go back to the same old outdated, bland, repetitive heteronormative angle that doesn't even sell enough to maintain a long-running Supergirl solo comic series, lead the show to be critically panned half the time and end on a flop note with furious fans, etc? Inexplicable, beyond the usual blind spots and phobias.

At some point, somebody will wake up and smell the creative potential and profits. Until then, we wait. And keep pushing, creating fan art and fanfic, etc and show 'em how it's done.

It'll happen eventually. I have faith. I fully believe it. Whether it's in a year, five, ten or twenty. It'll happen. Greatness cannot be ignored or avoided forever. 😉 Some day...

[michanvalentine]

Vincent's slumber

I don't know if anyone has already talked about it, I'm relatively new to social media (and I have the same skill as Vincent in using it). In any case, I share this thought that I have always had, but which with the release of Rebirth came back to my mind stronger than ever. I'm talking about Vincent's sleep. Nothing that comprehends how long it lasted, whether he woke up from time to time to do who knows what or whether he instead remained locked in the coffin for the entire time until Cloud arrived. Maybe I'll talk about this in the future, who knows. Instead, I would like to focus on why Vincent needs so much sleep. In the OG it would seem that he slept for 30 years straight, later with the expansion of the FF VII compilation we learned that there were moments of wakefulness. Even in FF Rebirth, Vincent's crypt seems way more comfortable than a plain one and Vincent's own statements suggest that he has experienced something in the meantime. In any case, we can safely say that Vincent Valentine is a sleepyhead, who spends much of his time sleeping (or napping around, poor Cait Sith). In DoC we saw him dozing under the Nibelheim tree (I hope in one of his moments of pause as a bodyguard, lol), where he and Lucrecia had their picnic. So our hero loves to sleep. Subsequently, after being used for Hojo and Lucrecia's experiments, in DoC Vincent remained in suspended animation in the tube for an unspecified period. Basically asleep. We currently don't know when he woke up, where he got his amazing cloak, and how he ended up lying in a coffin. Always sleeping. Surely after everything that happened to him, poor guy, being depressed, hiding from the world, self-punishing, etc, is quite understandable. And this would explain why he continues to sleep. Until a certain degree. For starters, I've always thought that the reason why, once Chaos and Protomateria were implanted, Vincent didn't wake up immediately was because his body needed time to adapt. To recover. We know that Hojo gave him a virtually indestructible body, but even so the burden of Chaos and the other demons/monsters is physically too much to bear. So both Hojo and Lucrecia thought they had failed in their experiment, precisely because Vincent didn't wake up. Even after regaining consciousness, Vincent continued to sleep in his beloved coffin, because he was unable to come to terms with what happened and what he has become, certainly, but also because physically it was still too much for him. He still has to recover, adapt, struggle for every little thing. And we don't even know how much he needs to hold back to control his four roommates. And we are talking about powerful and dangerous creatures. Chief among these is Chaos, a primordial god of destruction. All this must have a weight, which certainly weighs on the body as well as the soul. In Rebirth this thing seems even more evident to me, starting from the phrase: "Being outside is exhausting, I hate it." Ok, it makes me smile too, if you think about how introverted, antisocial, etc, he is. Plus he's trying to understand and adjust to all the changes that have occurred during the thirty years he's lost, but perhaps the myriad stimuli in the outside world are also exhausting him physically. Because he is not alone, there are five of him inside him, and we don't know exactly how Vincent Valentine perceives the world and on which and how many levels. Certainly, as Rebirth points out, he is very sensitive to everything dark and supernatural.

The Rebirth also gives us the opportunity to better observe the transformation into the Galian Beast. Vincent grabs his head, writhes, screams and the beast takes his place. It is a painful process, which requires physical effort. Not only that, but by the end of the fight, Vincent is completely exhausted. He barely manages to get back on his feet, his arms dangling, his head too, and the steps that separate him from the crypt are difficult and very heavy to take. A painful sight to even watch (at least until he rolls over in the doorway, lol). And no, it doesn't depend on the attacks of Cloud and company, you just need to look at Reno's face after the clash in which sector 7 collapsed to realize it.

Vincent is not injured, his body is indestructible, he doesn't have a scratch, he doesn't limp, he doesn't hold his side or arm where he was hit. No. He is simply emptied, drained, exhausted in every cell of the body by the transformation. What he does is go back to sleep, he needs it, to recover from the effort. Only then will he join Cloud and the others on the Tiny Bronco. This also happens in DoC, during the first meeting/fight with Rosso the Crimson in the city of Edge. When Vincent regains control of himself, after Chaos' intervention, he collapses directly onto the streets of Edge. As long as Shalua gives him the opportunity and time to recover in the tube, at the WRO headquarters. The same thing will happen later after the battle with Azul the Cerulean. Vincent loses consciousness and later wakes up on the floor of the Shinra building. So to conclude, I always thought that yes, he loved to snooze when he was younger. Now he's dozing because he's a grandpa, and maybe he had nothing better to do in the basement of the Shinra Mansion, but he often really, really needs to rest. Physiologically speaking, as far as Valentine's physiology is known. Because being him, Vincent freaking Valentine, is quite a burden.

All the images do not belong to me, I thank those who shared them on the web!

[dark-elf-writes]

Can we get more BNHA/Dragon Age? I’m honestly seeing the chaos of the Mahariel twins and the crushes you know people form.

Plus also the imagine of RG both loving them and hating them because they would know healing but they cause half the pain

“Why is it always you two?”

“Nature.”

“Nurture.”

Keiran and Izuku spoke simultaneously, matching tired gins on their faces, and Shouta fought the urge to sigh. He had been the closest hero to the Mall at the time his students had decided in the class group chat that he pretended Tenya never added him to by complete accident he would assure anyone who asked. From the look Tsukauchi sent him when he walked in his denial was convincing absolutely no one.

Shouta took a deep breath as he often found himself doing around the twins. “Are either of you hurt?” He asked, forcing his voice to stay steady.

Izuku shrugged, the ridiculous array of draping fabric, leather straps, and clattering charms of what looked like wood and bone, rising and falling with his shoulders. God who taught these kids how to dress? “I’m pretty sure half of my shoulder got decayed but Keiran was right there and he’s better at healing than I am so.”

Shouta wasn’t going to sigh. He wasn’t. “You got half your shoulder decayed?”He asked through clenched teeth.

Izuku Mahariel’s smile never faltered. “After I shocked him, yeah.”

Shocked him. Like the smoking crater in the center of the mall was little more than the result of dragging socked feet over carpet.

“He will be hard pressed to do it again,” Kieran’s odd eyes that looked far too old for a teenager seemed to look through Shouta, where the other kids had said a portal appeared to drag the singed villain through. “T’is rather difficult to activate a five point touch missing several fingers.”

“He was already shot through the hands, remember? They have to have a healer with them.”

“Which would be why I set the knife on fire before I threw it, brother.”

Shouta sighed. Over green hair half escaped from Izuku’s usual braid he caught Tsukauchi sending him a look that was not nearly as sympathetic as it should have been considering the man had all but shoved Shouta at the problem twins.

“So you two electrocuted and maimed a villain that was holding Izuku hostage?”

Keiran didn’t blink. “He hurt my brother and was attempting to take him. My only regret is that I missed something vital.”

“Technically it’s only electrocution is he died, so… half yes?” Izuku shrugged, then a second later he turned to Keiran. “Did he call me his brother before he was pulled through the portal or was that the pain making me hear things?”

He was going to retire. There was no force on earth that could make him stay with these two demons in his life. It would be harder to convince Hizashi to move but they would if he just-

His phone buzzed in his pocket. He didn’t have to check it to know Nezu had just sent confirmation for his third raise since the start do the school year. He was sure Kan received a matching pay increase and was currently trying to drink to forget.

“What’s your dad’s phone number?” He asked through another sigh. “I’m not letting either of you leave without adult supervision.”

It was Kieran’s turn to shrug. “He doesn’t have one. He claims the buzzing hurts his ears.”

Of course it did. Before Shouta could tell them to sit still until he could personally escort them home Izuku beamed up at him. “I’m sure he’ll be here soon either way. He’s always where something interesting is happening.”

Nature and nurture indeed.

“Recovery Girl is currently on her way to check all of you over. Izuku, you will let her look at your shoulder before your father takes the two of them home. I don’t care how good Keiran is at healing, he’s fifteen and not a licensed medical professional. Keiran, if any of the police ask you set the knife on fire by accident because you were so worried about your brother. Both of you will be having separate lessons with me and Vlad personally during camp.”

Both boys whined, but Shouta ignored it. He pointed them to the benches crowded with most of their classes and moved to Tsukauchi to do damage control. At least he was more practiced at lying by telling the truth than a first year heroics student. And the last thing he needed to know was how far the twins and their father would go if one or both of the boys were charged with underaged quirk usage.

He pointedly did look at the head that perked up when the twins reached their classmates. The less he thought about the demon twins possibly dating, the better.

[silent-raven13]

Calling my bf, "My Husband" Prank

(There's a prank trend where significant others are are calling their partners "My Husband" instead of their bfs. Some are very cute and some are heartbreaking if ya'll ever look it up on TikTok. Anyway for punk flower it's always cute!)

Miles set up his smartphone on a phone stance, while him and Hobie got some lunch together. The prank idea came from Miles watching some TikTok videos of one partner of a couple would say their boyfriend is their husband and wait to see their reaction. He send those videos to his friends, Gwen thought he should try it with Hobie. Pavtri said it would be cute to see his reaction, since the two been together for a long time.

The punker and artists had been dating for nine years going on ten! Miles is already twenty four, while his Hobie is twenty five. Their relationship been so long and close that Miles figure Hobie wouldn't be the kind of partner to have a negative reaction.

"Ready?" Miles happily asked as the two sit outside of HQ on a modern design courtyard to enjoy the bright sunny day on Earth 928.

Hobie nodded having to take out their take out containers and their drinks. "Yup, do I look good?" He checks himself at the camera seeing himself looking handsome. He noticed the live symbol on the Spider So-City app, "Are we live?"

"Yup! Just for fun!" Miles giggles, "You be surprised how many views we get from Punkflower fans."

"Because of Pav?" He asked already noticing a lot of hearts, likes and Pavtri commenting a big happy face emoji.

"Yup!" Miles waves at the camera, "Hey guys! Today, we got some Jamaican food from my world, it's a new mom and pop shop. So we wanted to try it." He holds his drink, "Today I order Rice and Peas with jerk chicken and fried plátano, which is ripe plantains. I got Sorrel which is Jamiaca basically sweet hibiscus tea." He took a sip trying his drink, "Mm, it's good." He shows off his plate seeing how delicious his food look.

Then, Hobie took a bite of his Jamaican patty being in a white paper bag separate from his main order tray, "This Jamaican Patty is scrummy. MMM! Been craving this for a while." He mutters having another bite of his beef Jamaican patty tasting the savory fried flavors.

"Ohh, is that good?" Miles asked as he tries to open his plastic packet where his utensils are in. His boyfriend hold out the patty out for his to try.

"Try, luv." He said letting Miles taking a bite it.

The Spider-man nodded at the flavor, "That's good! Oh wow, so much flavor. That aunty don't play."

"Hahaha, she doesn't. I knew once she started rushing us to order." Hobie chuckles.

Miles chews, "Mmm, so good. I wonder if she makes it spicy or she adds bread." He turns to the camera, "For someone people, some Jamaicans or people like to eat bread with their Jamaican patties." His eyes on some Spider-heroes being confused or asking why or why carbs on carbs.

"What are they saying?" Hobie asked.

"One said Why?" Miles giggles at the question, then saw a lot of Spider-Heroes posting Jamaican flags.

Hobie shrugs, "Because it's bloody good. I do it most of the time. It's also to make you full, too."

"Someone said carbs on carbs is insane!" His boyfriend read the comment, "Ya'll are forgetting some Latinos or Mexicans like eating bolio con tamal de dulce con café! I've seen that's a thing."

His boyfriend arched his eyebrows, "What's that?"

"It's a Mexicans corn dough that is sweeten by fruit like strawberries or pineapple and they wrap it in corn husk. I think steamed. It's a big thing during the winter times. Me and Ganke have a friend, she's Mexican and her mom made like so much and gave us some." Miles sips his drink, he look at the comments.

Miguel put a Mexican flag and wrote: Que rico! Así se come! Bolio con tama dulce y cafécito

Gabriella commented next: I love it with Champurrado! You should try Tamal de Pińa!

Miles giggles, "Gabi said we should try the pineapple one. I think you'll like it. It's pretty good if you got it from someone that knows how to make tamales."

"I'm def, luv. I rarely hate anything, I just like to stick what I like sometimes." Hobie commented, he sips his drink, "I got myself a Sorrel!"

"Oh, I forgot to talk about your order!" Miles fake gasp, "So my husband order rice and peas with a side of Oxtails..." Hobie stop eating his Jamaican patty his head slowly turns to his boyfriend then his lips twisted to a big grin. "And he order fried plantains-" Hobie interrupted his boyfriend, "What?"

"What?" Miles asked pretending to be confused.

Hobie chuckles having a big smile on his face, "What you said?"

"I said I forgot to mention your order." He playfully said having a small shy smile.

His punker shook his head being playful, "Nooo, Sunflower. After that. What did you say?" His eyes gleaming, his whole body turning pinker than before.

"My husband." Miles giggles while answering his boyfriend question. That made the punker to get up being out of camera's view and jumps up and down.

"Yes! Yes! YES!" He shouted up with joy.

Miles smiles widely at the positive outlook of his boyfriend, what he did expect is his boyfriend came running to hug him and sweep him off his feet. "Say it, again?" Hobie happily carries his boyfriend in a koala hugging position, he kisses him on the cheek.

"My husband." Miles' face all flustered but he said it much louder and prouder tone.

Hobie gave his a nose nuzzle, "That's more like it." They happily kiss forgetting their lunch for the moment.

The live stream went on with many Spider-heroes sending hearts and excitement emojis!

Gwen: 😅I think Hobie thinks Miles propose him

Margo: DITTO! 😂

Pavtri: 🥳 I'll be the best man!

Gabi: I wanna be the flower girl! 🤗

[occasionallyprosie]

A Thousand Ways

Chapter 11: "Frost Over Charcoal"

Legend learns that he's really bad at saying no when someone is being sincere and genuine, especially when he trusts that someone.

First | <<Previous | Next>>

Febuwhump 2024 | Prompt 8: "Why won't it stop?"

Read On AO3 Warnings: Implied Character Death

----

"What happened in there?" Warriors asked, his voice so uncharacteristically soft that Legend just--He didn't know how to respond.

They had found the black blooded monsters on the road from that town to a larger, merchant village (Mabe Village, Hyrule said that it would survive to his era remarkably. Legend did wonder why that village had been the one to appear on Koholint) that would've had the information they'd need.

From there, a portal took them to the usual places of eras between their times.

They got to a local inn, but it only had two rooms with two beds each. As a result, they split into two groups with Time going with the four youngest heroes if Legend was excluded from the list, though none of them actually knew how old he was except for Wind. Either way, that left--and Legend was certain it was on purpose--Sky, Twilight, Warriors, and Legend in the other room.

Legend inhaled slowly, trying not to break down again. "I cannot emphasize how much I really do not want to talk about it."

He knew it was obvious, especially since he felt their eyes on him when he changed not five minutes ago. It didn't help that his current outfit was short sleeved either, and didn't have the really high collar he used to wear. 

He knew his new scars were obvious, but he also knew that they weren't too familiar with his old ones that they shouldn't be able to tell just how many of the new scars were actually new. All they knew was that not a single stretch of skin on his arms and torso was scarless anymore.

"I know," Warriors promised, and Legend wondered why he was the one taking point in this conversation when both Twilight and Sky were harder to look in the eye and deny anything. Warriors, Legend just had the instinct to deny him everything out of pure spite.

Legend realized how wrong he was when Warriors approached, careful and slow, and guided him to sit. Legend just sort of stared, he didn't want to snap at anyone. He really didn't want to be sharp, driving them off was dangerous now. If he drove them off, who could he look to, who could he hope for see, if he ever got captured again? Besides, those almost three months of being separated put into perspective that yeah, he actually cared about them.

So he couldn't snap, he couldn't drive them away during what little time they'd have together. How could he taint such memories when soon enough those memories would he all he had of them?

Warriors had him sit on the bed beside Twilight. Sky was sitting just opposite them.

"I'll make a deal with you," Warriors said gently, "if you just answer three questions for us, a simple yes or no will suffice, we won't bring it up again unless absolutely necessary."

You see, Legend had teased all three of these heroes for being mother hens, for being fussy and worrywart's, he teased them and called them the group's "big brothers" to Time's group "dad" thing, the others even agreed!

This was just unfair. All three of them ganging up on him and even though he thought Warriors would've been the easiest to shut down, the earnestness and sincerity was almost overwhelming, combined with Twilight leaning into his side, warm and grounding, and Sky just being there and offering an encouraging smile.

He didn't break, but he huffed and had to look away and curl in on himself as some kind of measure of defense.

"Fine," he bit out. "Three questions."

"Are you--Is it okay?" Sky spoke up immediately.

He didn't respond for a long moment, debating lying. Finally he just quietly shook his head and muttered, "No."

Warriors squeezed his hands gently and Twilight's arm wrapped around his shoulder. It made the pressure behind his eyes worse but he really tried to ignore it.

"Those tools on the table--"

"Yes."

Warriors' mouth clicked shut and the soft look was briefly replaced by something blazing and violent. Legend flinched into Twilight just as quickly as that look was snuffed out and replaced by something sad.

"Is there anything we can do to help?" Twilight asked.

Legend shook his head, not pulling away from how he had curled into him as a result of Warriors' anger. "No. Just--stay."

"Of course," Sky promised. "You’re stuck with us, vet. I don’t think the Rancher's going to let you go anytime soon anyways."

He snorted, forcing the amusement out more than anything to just please, get rid of this heavy atmosphere. Stop all this worry and claustrophobic caring.

Warriors cracked a small smile. "I guess we know how the bedding situation's going to be."

"Shut up, you’re just jealous I get the kid," Twilight retorted playfully. Legend startled a bit as the second arm wound around him and pulled him into the warm chest behind him, but he knew who it was so he didn't jump too bad.

Warriors huffed. "As if I'd want to share a bed with him, he kicks."

"Like a bunny," Sky commented, a grin on his face that had Legend immediately squawking.

"Not if you cuddle him enough," Twilight chimed in and hugged him closer.

Legend felt his face heat up as he tried to escape. "I will kick you right now--let me go."

"Aww, don't be like that, bunny," Sky teased.

"Don’t call me that!"

Sky cackled and Twilight and Warriors both laughed too. Legend squirmed but couldn't escape Twilight's grip without actually trying.

Eventually he just gave up, and about that time conversation shifted to something far more calm and casual.

The older heroes mostly talked between themselves over Legend's head. And older they were, none of them were secretive about their ages. Sky was the youngest of the three at 23 and was six years post his adventure, Twilight came next at 26 and eight years since his last adventure, then Warriors was 28 and ten years in the aftermath of the war. Legend just relaxed into Twilight and let their voices become a white noise as he played with his magic in his hands until he ended up falling asleep first.

The three older heroes knew what had happened in that cell. Twilight had told them that Legend confirmed it was his torture cell, and they had an idea of what tools had been used, and they knew that he wasn't okay in its aftermath.

Thankfully, as promised, none of them said a thing to the others. As far as the younger heroes and Time knew, Legend just lost his cool and ran off into the woods before he exploded the rest of the building like he did the front door.

After a few more unnamed eras, Legend stepped through the portal and was immediately greeted by the familiar magic of his era.

But when he opened his eyes, his blood went cold.

They were on a path just outside Kakariko, but the late afternoon sky was darkened by smoke rather than the setting of the sun. A huge plume of black and darkness filling the air, he turned too slowly, despite getting whiplash from the action.

The billow came from the wrong direction.

Fire should not be burning that high that way. Ever. That kind of fire was a forest fire, a house fire, it was something damaging and dangerous. That was no campfire.

"No," he breathed.

"Vet? Whe--COLLECTOR WAIT!"

He did not, in fact, wait.

Instead he ran headfirst toward the forest. He ran right where that fire was burning.

Showing up far too late, Legend came up to a large crowd that had already formed. He shoved through, people yelping and beginning to scold him before going silent as they realized who he was.

He reached the front of the crowd and the edge of the property and he stopped.

Oh goddesses, no.

A farmhouse too familiar for his rabbit-fast heart to handle was burning sky high. Deep red and orange marring the oaken walls, staining it black and eating holes through the wood, windows either blocked by flames or burned beyond transparency.

"Link?" Someone called. "Is that--Link, I'm so sorry--"

"Where are they?" He demanded, searching the faces of Kakariko's villagers. "Where--My grandparents, they're not--"

"We hadn't seen them leave, but they may not have been home," one of the ladies--Elizabeth, the wife of the mason-- said.

Legend inhaled sharply. He couldn't lose them--Not them too. Not like this. He couldn't--

He ran toward the burning farmhouse ignoring all the cries for him to wait and stop as if this wasn't his home, as if this wasn't where he grew up and it wasn't where his grandparents may be dying or already be dead at.

He never wanted to return home to this.

The fire had started in the house, it was spreading but the plants were well trimmed and the ground well worn from walking. It did not spread easily to the pasture, but the barn was caught in it. He threw a blast of pure magic at the cucoo coop as he passed it. He saw the pasture empty and hoped to the goddesses that Epona and the cows had ran by now. The fowl were escaping quickly and Legend was about to slam his whole body weight into the burning front door.

Someone grabbed him from behind.

"Vet no! You can't--"

"Let me go!" He fought against their hold.

"It's about to collapse! You'll die!" 

He didn't care. He had to find them. He needed to find them. They were all he had left! They weren't supposed to die like this! They were supposed to grow older, maybe even be there when he finally settled, they were supposed to live to their natural ends! He had to--

The farmhouse that Legend spent half his formative years in collapsed. The burned walls giving in to the weight of the upper floors. It crashed to the ground and whoever grabbed him pulled him close and curled their body around his protectively.

A rush of ash and soot surrounded them, turning the world dark.

The dust settled and the fire still burned, though it was more of a huge bonfire that tried to spread.

Legend shoved Twilight away and grabbed the Ether Medallion.

Winter came early in that moment, an explosion of frost and ice exploding off him and leaving every person untouched but the flames were subdued.

He wanted to collapse, magical precision like that was exhausting, but the muddled voices stopped him. He couldn't break, he couldn't fall and scream and beg the goddesses to just please, let him have someone.

Why did they need to take everyone from him? Why was he doomed to lose them all?

He couldn't. He couldn't break. There were people here and he was still the hero. He had to stay strong, be that damned pillar of strength and courage for the world that was out to break him.

Link?

He turned, looked down, and a little ash covered cucoo was approaching him.

You came back, Piyoko clucked, nudging his leg. I'm glad to see you... I don't know what happened, one moment things were fine then the next the house was burning. Your grandparents had just gone inside for dinner too.

Legend sighed softly. "Gather the others. I'll get you guys to safe farmers."

Piyoko clearly had her own opinion about his response but thankfully didn't push it. She chirped and went toward wherever the other animals had run to. Legend turned to head back to the crowd, his throat trying to close up and his eyes stinging.

It's just the smoke, he told himself.

"Link? Are you..."

"I'll see what animals survived and check on the crops," he told them as calmly as he could, and a few--people who knew him--looked even sadder. "I'd--I would like to see it cleaned, but I don’t have the time do so, though I'd be willing to pay for it to be done. If you’re willing to help out, or willing to take what surviving animals there are, then I'll be here tomorrow morning by dawn."

The heroes looked confused and a bit against that decision, but Legend could care less. Most of the villagers gave him looks of pity, some mixed with concern, others with contempt.

"Everyone should get back home before it gets dark, monsters still roam these parts even if it's rarer than before."

Murmurs seemed to agree with his statements and the townsfolk left, some muttering about how sorry they were for the fates of his grandparents, others promising to be back in the morning. None of them actually referred to them as his grandparents, only calling them by name and telling Legend they were sorry.

Then they were all gone and left the nine heroes in the melting aftermath of the fire.

"Why'd you promise that?" Wild asked with a frown on his face. "We have a job to do, can't the family's next of kin handle this, or maybe the nearest town's mayor--"

"I'm the next of kin."

The following silence was horrible and it further ripped at his chest as he directed his carefully crafted blank look at the champion.

"This was my grandparents farm. Go hunt monsters if you want, I have things to handle right here and that starts with finding the animals that survived while the rubble finishes cooling, that ice is still steaming after all."

This time, nobody stopped him when he turned his back. Twilight and Hyrule both followed him.

Piyoko was on the edge of the survived forest, the fact that none of the surrounding trees were caught in the fire... There were four cucoos, Epona, and a cow. More than Legend expected frankly.

They saw him approach and he knelt down in front of them. Piyoko was quick to press against him and Epona nuzzled his face. Ali, the cow he had won in Labrynna and sent to the farm, drew closer too.

What now, Link?

He let out a steady breath. "Hopefully some of the other farmers around will take you guys in. You guys know as well as I do that I won't be... Rebuilding to stay here."

Epona nudged his head. We know. We'll stay with you, I can keep up.

We'll go, don't worry. It isn't a surprise, Autumn, a russet hen, cooed.

He got a headcount. All the hens intended to go, Piyoko stubbornly insisted on staying with him, and Epona promised she'd follow him too. Ali assured she'd be fine on a new farm.

After that he went and got them all under shelter, he didn't care what the other heroes were doing, he just made sure the shade out by the pasture wasn't about to collapse and then collapsed there with the remaining farm animals.

Twilight and Hyrule had been nearby, but they didn't come too close. Twilight did, eventually, but he just sat beside Legend while Hyrule headed toward the small orange glow over by the nonexistent front gate.

"I'm sorry," Twilight said quietly.

Legend tried desperately to keep himself in check. "It's fine," he managed. "I don't--They're... They were inside when the fire broke out, I-I can't--Why didn't you let me go in?"

There was a chance they were still alive before the building collapsed.

"If you went in, you would've died. It was about to collapse and it did seconds later. If you'd gone inside... I'm sorry about your grandparents."

If he'd gone inside maybe he'd have stopped killing all the people he's cared about.

"Go join the others," he grumbled, wrapping his arms tightly around himself.

"I'm not leaving you alone right now."

"I'm not alone. I have Piyoko, and Epona, Ali, Autumn, Britt, Nettle, and Thorn."

"I'm still staying. I promised to help you and that's what I'll do."

Oh he was unsteady. He had to keep strong, don’t break... He's broken too much this adventure, too many times.

Twilight wound an arm around his shoulders and pulled him into a hug slowly, giving him plenty of time to escape but he went rigid and didn't quite process what was happening until the rancher was holding him to his chest, a hand in his hair and carding through it gently.

Oh.

He buried his face into his chest and sobbed. The dam broke and so did he.

"It's okay, it's going to be okay. We're all here and we'll help you get through this."

"I-I can't--I--" Legend gasped, choking. "I can't keep doing this," he forced out.

"I know--"

"Why doesn't it stop? Why won't it stop?" He begged, he needed to know.

Why did he still hurt? Why did every single person he cared about get hurt? How could he protect them if he's the reason they're hurt?

"Why won't it stop?"

Next>>

[triviareads]

ARC Review of The Beast Takes the Bride by Julie Anne Long

Rating: 4.5/5 Heat Level: 3.5/5 Publication Date: October 22nd

Premise:

Alexandra Bellamy bartered herself off in marriage to war hero Colonel Magnus Brightwell, only for Magnus to leave shortly after their wedding. Five years later, he's back and he asks her for permanent separation.

My review:

The is a tender, introspective, POIGNANT second-chance romance that's actually so erotic in that specific way only Julie Anne Long can accomplish.

Our characters meet five years prior to the start of the story; Alexandra is young, beautiful, and the family caretaker, while Magnus is older and self-made, a stoic soldier with an *icy heart*. It shouldn't work (and Magnus is painfully aware of this, very much a "I don't deserve to put my *enormous filthy paws* on her" situation) but Alexandra's family is in debt so Magnus asks her dad for her hand, knowing Alexandra wouldn't refuse him because she loves her family. And here's the thing: their first interactions are ELECTRIC; their chemistry is insane from the start (you thought untangling a gal's bonnet strings couldn't be hot? WELL YOU THOUGHT WRONG) and it feels like they could have a happy marriage.

But then Alexandra does something on their wedding night, and Magnus leaves the next morning. On its face, the situation seems minor and resolvable, but what I loved is how JAL wrote both of them are flawed individuals who don't necessarily act logically all the time, and it's clear that the hurt goes beyond the actual incident itself.

And that's what made reading their (slow) reconciliation so fulfilling. The majority of the plot takes place during Magnus and Alexandra's one-week stay at the Grand Palace on the Thames boardinghouse. The close proximity and final attempt to sell their relationship to the public because Magnus is on the cusp of being awarded an earldom do their part in bringing them back together, but they also have to reconcile with how their relationship began, and the lack of communication that brought it to a stand-still.

Of course, the zany Grand Palace cast returns, including former heroes/heroines, with a notable subplot involving super horny newlywed guests that somehow have everyone else getting super introspective about their own relationships (and banging. introspection and banging).

The sex:

Gorgeously erotic, also quite fraught initially just because they're trying to fuck without feelings, and in one scene I particularly loved, without any words at all. It's super hot and tense, and they do it believing they'll never see each other again after the week ends.

Also, what you see happening on the cover of this book? THAT HAPPENS. In public!

Overall:

This was such a beautifully-written second chance romance that, for me, hit upon why miscommunication as a trope works— because people are flawed, and from a romance novel perspective, it makes their reunion all the sweeter.

Thank you to Avon Books and NetGalley for the advanced copy in exchange for my honest review.

[whoseyscientist]

BEST BATMAN FICS I’VE READ 3 BRUCE WAYNE FOCUSED

Hihoo Here’s some more crazy good batman fics with a particular focus on the sad angsty man in the bat suit because I love him so! Mix of gen/batfam and shipping stuff cause I just wish him well in life c:

As I was making this list I realised alot of them were one-shots huh the more you know- mix of mainly one-shots and the occasional epic lengths lol

= General/ Batfam =

Nominal

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8613352

Don't ask why Batman is sad unless you're willing to give him the time to consult his spreadsheet.

(legitimately?? funniest batman fic I’ve ever read, one-shot) 

The Jason Project

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19899613

Jason had just wanted to see his autopsy report, he had only wanted to know what information Bruce had about his death. And when Bruce hadn't given it to him, he had stolen it. He hadn’t meant to stumble upon the bucket list of a dead child and the footage of a grieving father crossing one item after another off the list.

(^ short, sweet and very emotional)

More Precious Than Gold

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13273611/chapters/30371190

Most dragons sleep on their hoards.

Bruce's hoard sleeps on him.

Or: Bruce is a dragon. Predictably, he hoards orphans.

(so, so goddamn cute, two shot)

Manor-Dad lets me drive the Batmobile

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19002637/chapters/45125308

Bruce had two options when Dick found the Cave. 1) Tell him the truth. 2) Go along with Dick’s excited “You’re dating Batman!” until he figured out the truth.

Several children later Bruce wished he’d gone with option 1) or he wouldn’t have to deal with all his kids believing he and Batman were separate people. Yes, even Damian.

(Unfinished but still so very funny, crazy good fic)

dad time

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20434550

five times the justice league misinterpreted batman's actions + one time they absolutely did not

(Bruce just proudly showing off his kids in League business is so canon lmao, one shot, also this author in general has some quality batfam content legit)

Cingulomania (Sometimes, Dad Needs a Hug)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29690424#main

‘Right,’ Tim said, in the voice he used on missions, ‘we’re going to have to call in an expert.’ * ‘Hey guys!’ Dick said, voice slightly crackly over Tim’s phone speakers. ‘What’s up? I’m not supposed to visit until tomorrow - is something wrong?’ - Something is seriously not right with Bruce. They’re a family of detectives and no one can figure it out. It’s kind of embarrassing.

They’re all starting to get worried. - (Sometimes, Bruce needs a hug.)

(^ Feeding my bruce is touch starved agenda quite nicely, one shot)

A Hero Lost

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40358904/chapters/101096682#workskin

When Jason Todd died on that fateful April day, Bruce was tempted to just... stop. To let the world know he was Batman, and that it'd just lost a hero in Jason Todd.

And so he did.

It didn't keep him from mourning the death of his son.

Or: Bruce quits being Batman in the wake of Jason's death, tells the world who he is, then retires to Montana and slowly finds healing. And when Jason comes back to life six months later, and Talia tells him 'you remain unavenged,' he can't find any evidence to support that, so he goes home.

(^ Truly, truly beautiful, it’s a short read but very much worth it)

In For a Pound Series

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17558375/chapters/41378861

25 is too young to be a Dad. That's what Bruce thought when Talia dropped off this baby she claimed was his. Add to that a jealous 11-year-old Dick, and Bruce has his hands full. What does one even do with a baby? Why does this baby scowl so much? And when on earth is Talia coming back?

(^ Very good series with some very fun batfam shenanigans)

Matches

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8074405

What in the hell kind of name for an alias is Matches?

(one-shot, silly, very funny dialogue- bruce is so awkwardly charming I love it)

= Shipping =

Whoever Falls First

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7679041

"There's more kryptonite out there. When the Superman returns, there's going to be an all-star battle royale in the criminal underworld. Every megalomaniacal freak will want a piece of it so they can get a piece of you. And some of them will manage. They'll weaponize it and won't hesitate to use it against you, and when that happens I will not have you flailing around like an idiot."

aka: Bruce teaches Clark how to fight.

(have I recommended this before? I can’t remember, either way it’s immaculately written, superbat one-shot)

pull out the pin

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42361755

Revulsion curled in Clark’s gut, instinctual and sudden. He knew, without knowing how, that the creature wearing Bruce’s face was not Bruce.

“Oh boy,” Not-Bruce cracked its neck, turning its grin on the rest of the group, “You do not want to be in this head, let me tell you.”

(superbat and sooo good, also do yourself a favour and just read all of this authors stuff, its always a banger)

Dilectus Meus Mihi...

https://archiveofourown.org/works/301669/chapters/482974

Clark Kent has lost all his memories of being Superman, and Bruce Wayne must retrain him in the use of his powers. But his super-powered identity isn't all he's forgotten...

(two shot, fun and sweet, just superbat falling in love again <3)

my body is an orphanage (we take everyone in)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12683415

He can stand in a room with the League members and receive surreptitious glances from each one of them individually, each one of them trying to communicate with the intensity of their eyes some sort of camaraderie with Bruce, us against the world, which would be funny, would be far less bitter and ironic, if he wasn’t so desperate to affirm with each of them in turn, yes, you are my friend, for better or for worse.

So he lets them have sex with him because it seems like that means a lot to them.

(^ ace bruce!- incredibly bittersweet with a very sweet ending, poor bruce man :c)

ship-to-ship combat

https://archiveofourown.org/works/39666915/chapters/99302841

"Clark. What the hell is this," Lois asks, staring at Clark's Bruceman WIP folder. Clark's first instinct is to fly away, but that would still leave his fic on display for her to see. His second instinct is to blast a hole straight through his laptop screen with his heat vision, which isn't much better.

Clark, in an attempt to make some spare cash, unintentionally stumbles into the world of superhero fanfiction, becomes a prolific writer for Gotham's OTP, and tries his best to fend off rival fans who want him to convert to superbat instead.

(^ i really just assume everyones already heard of this one cause it’s just- really well written but its superbat and bruceman(LOL) it’s un-finished but hilarious and surprisingly real and emotional)

as to which may be the true

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7880368/chapters/17998981#main

It isn't difficult to go on in the wake of Superman's death. His resurrection, though, poses a problem—especially when it turns out there's no such thing as the right moment to explain that Martha Kent's obnoxious billionaire friend? Is also the man who tried really hard to shove a kryptonite spear through Clark's face.

(I love post resurrection content it’s so good, superbat)

Nine Tenths

https://archiveofourown.org/works/426785

In which the man who's faster than a speeding bullet is pretty slow on the uptake. Bruce corrects this problem the only way he knows how: by being smarter than the average bat. Stark is more than willing to lend a hand.

(this is so cute, gotta love some jealous superbat, also Clark being the one that hates a random hero for literally no reason is fucking hilarious I love it everytime lol)

Remembering Normal

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11494842/chapters/25786338

Hal Jordan is a totally normal alpha, and definitely NOT gay. At all. Like, even a little. Except there was this once. . .

(steamyy, this author has such an insane grasp on bruce and hal as characters its actually insane, their lvl of dialogue is something I aspire for, batlantern)

Late Night Talks

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34941634

Two-face's new partner looks a lot like Bruce Wayne. Surely that doesn't mean anything...

(Twobat, oneshot and the first introduction I’ve ever had to two face/matches malone)

[skyward-floored]

Why did Legend have so many adventures compared to the others? What does Hylia have against him?

Mans had like six, everyone else had one or two.

Well I won’t get into the fact that I’m pretty sure Hylia has nothing to do with it, but I think there are some reasons.

The biggest contributor is probably the fact that he’s technically two separate Links— the hero of legend, (alttp, oos/ooa, and la) and the new hero of Hyrule (albw and tfh), so you gotta take that into account a little.

And I mean, Four is technically three separate Links put together, and he’s gone on three adventures, which is less extreme then Legend, but still up there. It’s just gonna come with the territory.

Jojo has also said that Tri force heroes isn’t canon to lu (which, bummer, but I understand), so that knocks the total number of adventures down to five instead of six. You could also sort of count oracle of ages/seasons as one big adventure if you really wanted to— they’re different yeah, but they are connected, and have a boss you can only fight if you’ve done both games. That would only be four.

And if you’re going by Ganon fights, he’s fought the pig three times (one a nightmare version), which again, WAY more then everyone else, but slightly less extreme then six.

But you didn’t ask about making the number smaller, I’m getting off track 😅

Yeah, so I personally think the biggest contributor for the large number is that Legend kind of likes adventure... but especially that he has such a kind heart.

If he sees people in trouble or a problem to solve, he’s gonna go help. It’s in his nature. He admits in the comic that some of his adventures haven’t been too good for him, but he’s never expressed regret at going on them at all (I think, without doing a total reread of the comic). He likes getting out and seeing the world, traveling and helping people along the way. Sure he’d prefer it if he didn’t have to fight Ganon every other year, but he’s an adventurer at heart.

But that’s just what I think ¯\_(ツ)_/¯