#also we were literally at the zoo at the time

[danrifics]

why did you go to where their hotel was in antwerp??

sorry am i not allowed to go to the train station now cos it happened to be in the background of a dan insta story??

(we did not go to their hotel!!!!!!)

[mellotronmkll]

Omg this is so stupid to complain about I know some people have real problems and I've complained about it before but I'm doing so again sorry but it drives me insane how people react when you tell them you have a phobia of an animal that's a common phobia because people always feel like they have the opportunity to explain why Actually that animal is not scary at all and people only Think they are but they're really not icky they're super cool creatures and well in their enlightened opinion they're actually really cute and - dude I GET it like in my case it's snakes but I assume people with like bad arachnophobia get the same thing but people literally act like my phobia is coming from a place of ignorance (instead of you know trauma which is where it's actually come from) and like they pity me for being so narrow minded about these beautiful creatures and its like oh my god listen I'm generally pro snake I don't hate snakes snakes are great yes. I just cannot handle seeing them because I have a phobia but I don't think we need to kill all snakes or that they aren't cool ecologically necessary animals or anything. Like I'm sorry you think I'm being homophobic but for snakes or something but that's actually not how this works. Like yes in general I know ignorance about snakes can be harmful to them because people will kill them and stuff but I'm not killing snakes or advocating for people to do so or anything like that. I'm just quietly skipping that part of the reptile room at the zoo because I have nightmares about snakes every other night. So I'm just gonna do that and it's gonna be fine

[nomairuins]

aww its kinda cute finding me complaining abt my dads whole lisa thing from 2017. honestly so overshadowed by everything else and also i was so annoying when i was 12 aw .

[wh0reforcoriolanussnow]

WHAT IF... Tom and reader being sweet during behind the scene like you can see them hugging and just spreading love around the set lovebirds

Lovebirds || Tom Blyth x Actress!reader

A/n: thank you for this request anon :)

Warnings: swearing (literally once lol)

Wc:

actress!reader au masterlist

Divider by @pommecita

“I’ve always done what’s best for you, you have to understand that!” His grip on your wrist was painful as you wince. “You’re hurting me Coryo,” You struggle as a single tear drops from your eyes. Coriolanus smiles in satisfaction, wiping away the tear with the pad of his thumb.

“Now get fucking dressed,” He throws your clothes as you as you flinch and scramble. “Hurry up!” Coriolanus yells as your hands frantically pull your clothes onto your half naked body. “AND CUT!” The director calls out.

Tom immediately grabs a robe and rushes over to you on the bed, covering your slightly naked body as you thank him. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you too much did I?” He asks, worried that his grip on you was too harsh.

“No, of course not. And I’m okay,” You chuckle, your hand on the side of his face as he looks relieved. His arms latch around your waist as he picks you up bridal style. “Tom!” You let out a hearty laugh as he carries you out of set and into your shared trailer.

You two chose to ate lunch in the comfort of each other’s arms as you talk about everything and anything. Soon enough, hair and makeup stylists come knocking in as they get you two ready for the next scene.

Your makeup and hair took the longest but Tom entertained you the entire time, sometimes even making you cry out in laughter which probably annoyed the makeup artist who was doing your eye makeup.

Eventually you two were done and you still had an hour spare. You crawled onto Tom’s lap as his arms securely wrapped around themselves around you, your face in the crook of his neck. Exhaustion from the couple of days of filming caught up to you as you fall into slumber in Tom’s arms.

Tom’s assistant chuckles and snaps a few pictures of you fast asleep in his arms as he poses. Then, a knock came from the door and in walked Josh and Rachel. “Hey-“ Rachel pauses when seeing you asleep. A filming camera in her hand pointed at the two of you.

Tom raises an eyebrow at her, wondering what she was doing with the camera. “I’m filming a tour of the set,” Rachel giggles as she comes closer to the two. “And here we have the two lovebirds of the set, y/n fast asleep in her lovers arms.” Rachel whispers, directing the camera to your curled up body Tom’s lap.

You had no idea that Rachel had recorded you while you were dozed off until you found out at one of the interviews in London. “Who in the cast was most sleepiest?” The interviewer asks. You think about it, making your decision as you settle on writing Rachel’s name.

“In 3, 2, 1.” You all flipped your boards as your mouth drops open. “Me?” You gasp as Tom, Rachel, Hunter, and Josh all wrote your name. They all burst out laughing as you look at them disbelief. “We actually have proof,” Rachel says with a snicker as you raise an eyebrow at her. “Proof? Are we able to see it?” The interviewer chuckles as you look at Rachel.

“Yeah, Rachel I’d really like to see this proof” You cross a leg over your knee as they start playing a video that you weren’t familiar with. Your eyes widen as the camera comes up to you and Tom, you were fast asleep in his lap. Photos were also shown of Tom posing and you asleep.

Everyone starts laughing as you cover your mouth, refraining yourself from laughing aswell. “Y/n also sleeps a lot while getting her hair and makeup done, honestly she sleeps everywhere and anywhere!” Tom chuckles, rubbing your thigh as you look at him with a smile on your face.

“Yeah I can sleep anywhere honestly, I remember this one time we were in the zoo cage and I literally dozed off on one of the rocks.” You reminisce, “You actually slept on one of the rocks?” Hunter says in disbelief as she places her hand on your shoulder. “Yup. I did.” You nod your head with a wide grin as the others laugh.

~

“Tom, Y/n, what was the most least glamorous day on set?” The two of you were asked as you look to Tom, thinking about an answer. “We had a few. We had a few gnarly days,” “Yeah, there were a few rainy days-“ “Y/n drowned me,” Tom interrupts, looking at you as you break into laughter. “I did.”

“You drowned me one day,” He continues as you throw your head back in laughter, “I was clinging to Tom for dear life in that lake,” You chuckle. “Oh right, there’s a bit where your properly on Tom’s shoulders!” The interviewer points out. “Yeah and they made it look romantic in the movie,”

“In reality, I was choking for my life cause Y/n isn’t the strongest swimmer in the relationship,” You lean your head against his shoulder in embarrassment as you laugh. “No- I can swim, only if somebody is chasing me,” You sheepishly say as Tom throws his arm around your shoulder, laughing as you could feel your whole body vibrate from his laughter.

“Oh and it was absolutely freezing in that water!” You shake your head as Tom agrees. “There’s actually footage of me wrapped in like three blankets after getting out, Tom included as a blanket” You remember as your mind goes back to that day where you were shooting at the lake.

“I’m so cold,” You squeak as you quickly walk out of the lake, Tom behind you ready to wrap you his arms around your frame “C’mere”. The filming team give you two blankets as you wrap it around your frame, your wet hair sticking to your forehead.

Tom’s body added to the warmth as he rocked you side to side. “Tom, Y/n, smile!” Rachel says, holding her film camera as you pull an awkward face as Tom does the same. You both laugh at the face expressions you made finding it hilarious.

“What was the most memorable day that you remember while on set?” The interviewer asks as you ponder. “My most memorable day was probably the day we finished shooting. Not many people know this but I originally turned down this role because it was back to back with my other project that I was working on.”

“And you know I had just arrived back in London from filming it for about 8 months I think?” You look to Tom as he nods, “Yeah 8 months hardly being able to see family and friends. But when Tom got the role as Coriolanus he sort of convinced me to take this role on and I’m so glad I listened to him.” You grip his hands in yours.

“That last day on set was quite emotional for me in many ways. I was of course sad that filming with these incredible people were over and also I think just remembering that I’ve gone so so long without my family really hit hard that day.” Tom nods and smiles as he admires your side profile as you talk.

“And Tom was there on set with me and I was just so relieved seeing him after finishing that when I gave him a hug I started crying.” You conclude make eye contact with Tom. “Speaking about you and Tom, can you tell us how you two met?” A smile immediately made it your lips as Tom chuckles, scratching his neck.

“You can tell them this one,” You nudge him with a cheeky smile. “I met Y/n on the set of Billy the Kid late 2021 when we started filming. Y/n’s dad was the producer of the film and I was introduced to her by him and then yeah,” He says giddily as you smile.

You still remember that day like it was yesterday. “I came to set on the second week Tom started filming and let me tell you, he looked really good in his outfit. Like really good,” You shyly say as Tom and interviewer laugh.

“I don’t think you’ve ever told me this,” Your boyfriend looks down at you with a slight smirk, “didn’t want you to think I was head over heels for you,” You wink playfully at him as he chuckles and kisses the back of your hand.

~

tomblyth

Liked by y/n_y/l/n, rachelzegler, lionsgate, y/nxtom4life and 4,938,038 others

Do not be fooled by the second and third picture. I was choking for my life!

tagged: @y/n_y/l/n

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—————————————————————————————

y/n_y/l/n: 😐

���️ tomblyth: love u babe x

rachelzegler: first picture proves our point that y/n can sleep everywhere and anywhere 😭

↘️ hunterschaffer: @y/n_y/l/n is your neck okay?

y/n_y/l/n

Liked by tomblyth, joshandresrivera, oliviarodrigo, rachelzegler and 5,947,309 others

Tboas dump coming soon 👀

tagged: @tomblyth

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—————————————————————————————

tomblyth: gonna miss the salads on set 💔

↘️ y/n_y/l/n: so will I :’(

y/nxtom4life: my parents are so cute I can’t 😭

Liked by y/n_y/l/n

[fallingforyouforeverr]

𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐫 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤:

summary: what the one and only arthurtv would be like as your boyfriend

authors note: tysm for the request anon, i loved writing these! this man is literally a walking green flag like how is he even real. sorry for the slow uploads btw i've been super busy lately

please consider checking out my masterlist

-> the gentleman above all gentlemen istg

-> he's such a caring boyfriend. whenever you are sick or had a bad day, he seems to know exactly what you need and won't leave you alone until you feel better

-> literally gives the best hugs ever. i can't rlly explain it but I feel like his body just runs warm so he's really cozy and you always feel so secure when he's got his arms around you, cradling you into his chest

-> arthur makes getting out of bed in the morning so much more difficult simply because his cuddles are so comfy that you never want to leave

-> not super into pda, the most he will do in public is quick pecks but in private he is SUPER clingy, to the point where he's basically an extra limb

-> whether he's holding your hand/got an arm slung around your waist or has his head laid in your lap while watching tv, he's not happy unless he's touching you in some way

-> we all know arthur is a massive nerd, and you probably are too, so you often go on dates to museums or art galleries

-> also, zoo/aquarium dates are a must in your relationship. he loves to infodump random animal facts and you love to stare at him adoringly while he infodumps random animal facts

-> arthur is always so attentive to you, and notices every difference in your appearance and can tell when your mood changes even if you are trying to hide it from him

-> he also remembers all the little details about you, even the minor stuff you don't remember telling him, and you often joke that he knows you better than you do

-> shows his love for you through small acts of service like always having your favourite food stocked in his kitchen and learning your skincare routine so he can do it for you when you are too tired

-> would also give you his shoes without hesitation if your feet started hurting on a night out. he doesn't care how uncomfortable it is for him or that he looks like an idiot. he just wants you to feel as comfortable as possible

-> arthur absolutely adores the soft domestic moments together. very much a quality time person, and he loves that you can make even mundane chores seem more interesting

-> george and arthur hill like to tease him about being a simp, but they genuinely think its so sweet how happy being around you makes him

-> george once told you, when you were over at the boys' house and your boyfriend was in the bathroom, that in all the time they've known each other, he has never seen arthur smile as much as he did when he was with you

-> similar to george, he has a very busy work schedule so he tries to treasure the time you do have together. unfortunately, he does sometimes miss your dates due to filming overrunning but he always feels terrible and tries to make it up to you the best he can

-> your relationship is so sweet and supportive. you're the kind of couple that you can tell, just by looking at them, how inlove they are with each other

[rad-batson]

Billy Batson and Damian Wayne being weirdly good friends (ft. the occasional Jon Kent)

Billy befriends Damian after the JL learns his real identity. Batman approached him and told him they should meet since they’re the same age.

At first, it’s awkward because Damian isn’t interested in making friends, and Billy’s mad that Batman is essentially sending him to the kids' table. Until… 

Damian: “Why must my father insist that I socialize? I can handle myself!” Billy: “Thank you! I’ve been on my own since I was six. I don’t need an adult to tell me what to do.” Damian: “…I like you.” Billy: “Wanna spy on the Justice League?” Damian: “Yes.”

Batman immediately regrets his decision.

At first, the two don’t really talk outside of meetings or happenstance, but when they do, they’re like twins. They know exactly what the other is thinking at all times. (The adults are terrified.)

Both end up bonding over their upbringing, specifically the fact that they were abused/traumatized/malnourished for several years. That marks the point where they start talking regularly.

Damian nearly jumps out of his skin the first time Billy speaks to him in Arabic (courtesy of the Islamic Prophet, Solomon.) They now speak exclusively in Arabic when they gossip.

They will cut a bitch. Do not get on either’s bad side.

Every time one of them says something out of pocket, the other one high-fives them. Even Jon is concerned (and very jealous.)

Billy is required to attend the same school as the Teen Titans and YJ for a bit as a condition of staying in the JL so he and Damian end up taking a few classes together.

Billy “I have Zeus on speed dial” Batson and Damian “I got a PhD in The Classics at age six” Wayne proceed to roast their history professors in the back of the classroom for all of the misinformation.

Damian: “Okay so I really need a human skull, but you can’t ask why.” Billy: “As long as you also don’t ask why.” *pulls out several pristine human skulls from pocket dimension* “Take your pick.” Damian: “…this one.” Jon: “what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck”

They’re both eerily good at schooling their emotions due to countless years of emotional abuse and neglect. If anything goes wrong during a mission, it’s like a switch is flipped. They are suddenly completely level-headed.

Damian gifts Billy a PC that he built himself so they can play games together without so much lag. (It’s literally just Minecraft on creative mode. They design a working amusement park together.)

Both have been permanently banned from all zoos on the eastern seaboard. Damian tried to “liberate” the ostriches, and Billy taught the gorillas swear words in sign language.

Everyone Else: “We need to find civilization on this desert planet we crashed landed on or we’ll starve.” Billy and Damian: “The human body can go ten days without food.” Everyone: “…Are you okay?” Billy and Damian: “Not important.”

Billy, Jon, Colin, and Damian have a group chat where they regularly place bets on dumb mishaps the adults get themselves into. The one rule is they can’t bet with cash. Thus they create a trading system made entirely of local snacks, Pokémon cards, supernatural knick-knacks, and dares.

[pr0wlerpunk]

Would they love you as a worm?

And how would they react?

(Platonic!)

Gn!reader

Some of these are short and I’m sorry for that, wrote this at 1:am and I didn’t rlly feel like adding or fixing anything ☹️

Warnings: Slight atsv spoilers!!!, really bad British slang(someone please help), idk if the terms I used for hobie are actual British slang or not….nor do I know how to spell them if they are☹️

Earth-1610!Miles Morales- Definitely(but he Misses human you)

🕷️miles would ABSOLUTELY love you as a worm.

🕷️somehow someway you turn into a worm and miles is so protective.

🕷️I’m talkin’ like dude would keep you so safe, with a little terrarium filled with fresh soil and plants.

🕷️feel like he would also spend nights talkin’ to you and just spilling his problems out.

🕷️one time he got scared that his mom threw you out but she had just moved you…yea he almost had a heart attack

——

“Mom, where’s my little jar I had on my window?”

“Oh uhm….I honestly don’t remember where I put it..”

“…”

“Miles?”

And he’s already gone to look for you around the house.

It took him a hour but he finally found you…in a cabinet.

That night he spent singing sunflower to you

——

Earth-42!Miles Morales- Kinda(he had to think about it)

⛓️ miles would have to warm up to you.

⛓️like 1610 miles, you somehow turn into a worm.

⛓️at first he thinks it’s a joke…but as time moves on he realizes you’re a worm.

⛓️he definitely would keep you safe though.

⛓️like he would keep you fed and made sure you didn’t dry out.

⛓️but like he doesn’t do the whole talk thing.

⛓️the only time he talks to you is when he’s checking on you(like twice a day)

⛓️he definitely hides you from his uncle.

⛓️he’s not ashamed he just doesn’t want to explain how you became a worm because even he doesn’t know.

⛓️though if Aaron ever found out I think he would just stare at miles and walk away.

——

“Yo miles, cmon man we gotta do a ru-”

“…” “…”

“Miles why is there a worm on your desk?…”

“I know it looks weird!!, but somehow [___] got turned into a worm..”

“…”

“Yea… we not doin’ no run today…you can just stay here with uhm…yo worm”

“Yo! Unc, it ain’t Like that!!”

But Aaron’s already out the door

And miles is left as heat flushes his now embarrassing face

——

Hobie Brown- Doesn’t care(but yes)

🎸hobie doesnt care, Like literally it’s your life.

🎸but, he is one of them that would carry you in his pocket.

🎸like dude has a full on pocket full of damp soil just for you.(that’s how he keeps you safe)

🎸he doesn’t know how you got turned into a worm, but like I said earlier he honestly doesn’t care.

🎸if you wanna be a worm…he ain’t gonna stop you.

🎸like 1610!miles, he definitely would talk to you.

🎸like full on conversations though.

🎸like he’s asking you questions and everyone’s just staring thinking he’s finally lost his marbles.

——

“So I was tellin’ bloke-”

“Ay hobie, who’re you talking to?”

“Bruva, you’re tellin’ me you don’t see [___] right er’???”

“…no?”

“That’s botched huh luv?!”

Yea they never came back…

——

Gwen Stacy- Not at first(but she does)

🎵she actually thinks you look stupid at first.

🎵she blames however you got like this on you or miles.

🎵she definitely thought you were ugly.

🎵but then she gets to care for you and ends up loving you.

🎵not the best at protecting you but please don’t be hard on her.

🎵she gets mad when someone tries to mess with you.

🎵like it’s kinda scary.

🎵I’m talkin’ bout full on glare, eyebrows furrowed, right nostril flared and lip curved up slightly.

🎵one day she caught a spider person tapping your glass and she got pissed.

——

“Ay!, why’re tapping the glass?”

“Oh, uhm.!”

“Move. This isn’t a zoo”

“Right! S-sorry!”

“…”

“You ok [___]?”

All in all everyone knew not to mess with Gwen and her worm friend.

——

Jessica Drew- Yes(shes basically your mom now)

🤰🏾she absolutely loves you.

🤰🏾plus she thought it’d be easy practice for when she pops her baby.

🤰🏾is the type to tell someone she has a kid and then show them you

🤰🏾she’s definitely always checking on you.

🤰🏾protects you like a mom should.(kinda)

🤰🏾she cried when she lost you.

🤰🏾one day she set you down to grab a drink and when she came back you were gone.

——

“I’ll be right back [___], don’t move!”

5 minutes later…

“[___]?….[___]!??”

“E-excuse me, but has anyone seen [___]??”

“Uh, who?”

“Their a worm, and they were right here!”

She ended up finding you with Peter B and mayday

She realized this was harder than she originally thought…

——

Miguel- No(He Acts Like he hates you, but secretly would do anything for you)

🕸���dude definitely almost stepped on you once or twice.

🕸️Bros the Type of Person to yell at you After he almost stepped on you.

🕸️but like once he warms up to you he’s definitely carrying you everywhere.

🕸️Like Bro wouldn’t trust you😭.

🕸️or for that matter anyone.

🕸️Like one time, he let Peter B watch You And when he came back mayday was about to eat you.

——

“I got it dude”

“Are You sure You can Watch [___]?”

“Yes now go..literally you’re ruining the mood right now”

10 Minutes later…

“I’m back-”

“PETER!?”

“What!, What!?”

“Your child almost ate [___]…”

“…”

“I’m sorry?”

“…Hijo de puta…”

“Yea i deserve that…”

——

Pav- Yes(He wants to keep you forever..)

🪀Bro thinks you’re the cutest thing hes ever Seen

🪀he definitely calls you his little wormy

🪀he would keep you safe in a while mini House

🪀Like Bro made it And Everything

🪀he doesn’t want you to Turm Back Human

🪀Like…Ever 💀

🪀he definitely Rants to you about EVERYTHING

🪀he told you how miles called Chai, “chai tea”

——

“So im sitting there right And he just Says….Chai tea…”

“LIKE CMON MAN”

“PAV WHO ARE YOU TALKIN TO??!”

“NO ONE MAMA!”

His mom thinks he has an imaginary friend now….

Tags: @alisblackgf

[incorrectbatfam]

Why did the batfam get turned down for a job?

Interviewer: How much experience do you have with kids?

Dick: *flashbacks to prying Tim and Damian apart while Jason eggs them on*

Dick: A good amount.

———————

Interviewer: Can you pass a criminal background check?

Jason: No.

———————

Interviewer: We got a reference from your old coworker, Alvin Draper.

Tim: Oh, that was fast.

Interviewer: He says you suck.

Tim: Pfft, yeah. Some old workplace beef. You think he'd be over it by now.

———————

Interviewer: Do you have a valid driver's license?

Damian: Tt. Age limit this, driver's license that. If this was truly a free country I can get by without one.

Interviewer: Normally I'd agree with you, but we're a traveling petting zoo.

———————

Interviewer: Tell me about—

Killer Croc: *throws a car outside the window*

Duke: Um... gotta use the restroom. Be right back.

[10 minutes later]

Duke: *slides into his chair*

Duke: Where were we?

Interviewer: I was asking you about—

Scarecrow: *plants a fear gas bomb across the street*

Duke: I think my phone's ringing. One moment please.

———————

Interviewer: It says here you were fired from the movie theater. Can you tell me why?

Cullen: I spoiled the end credit scenes of Marvel movies.

Interviewer: And how can we be sure it won't happen here?

Cullen: This is Hot Topic, right?

———————

Stephanie: —long story short, I decided "to heck with it" and went to prom with an inflatable Riddler clone named Fernando. I'm sorry, what was your question again?

Interviewer: ...How are you?

———————

Cassandra: *shows up*

Interviewer: For the last time, we're not hiring!

———————

Barbara: There's a typo in your job posting. I also found that your LinkedIn page needs to be updated. Here is my full analysis with all my suggestions. And of course, assuming your application portal is up to date, you can see that I meet all of the qualifications.

Interviewer: Except you must be 35 to run for president.

———————

Interviewer: Why do you want this job?

Harper: Money.

Interviewer: Other than that.

Harper: *thinks for a second*

Harper: No that's it.

———————

Interviewer: What's your greatest strength?

Carrie: I'm double-jointed. I can bend my fingers like this. See?

———————

Interviewer: Please explain this gap in your resumé.

Kate: Don't tell me what to do.

———————

Interviewer: Have you ever stolen from your workplace?

Selina: Never.

*interviewer's wallet falls from Selina's pant leg*

———————

Interviewer: And why should Wayne Enterprises hire you?

Bruce: My name is literally on the building.

———————

Interviewer: We're sorry, Mr. Pennyworth, I don't think you'll be a good fit for us. I heard the Waynes are hiring next door, though.

Alfred: This is preposterous.

Alfred: *leaves*

Alfred: *goes next door*

Alfred: Good afternoon, I am here for—

Martha: Oh thank heavens, he's here.

Thomas: We're late for our conference. Keys are under the mat, the bed still needs to be made, and the baby took a huge crap just now.

Martha: *hands over baby Bruce*

Alfred: I supposed I'm hired then?

Baby Bruce: *blows a snot bubble*

Alfred, chuckling: At your service, young master.

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Tango in the Sky [W. W]

Willy Wonka x fem!reader

word count: 1.6k

[Timothée masterlist]

note: LISTEN, first of all I want to say a huge apology because I was literally stuck on this. I had like two weeks with the document started and I just didn't know how to do it, so I'm sorry if this is horrible. I think the problem was that I wanted to make everything the same as the movie and aaagh, I don't know. I know you wanted a kiss but I also had a hard time writing that because they barely know each other haha 😫

I will catch up more these days with everything on my inbox (which is quite a few, thank you for that beautiful people) and I appreciate the nice reception, I love you!

Special thanks to @fivesumbrella5 for leaving their name, it makes me happy to know who requests it :)

“Have you done this before?” you asked, gently petting the snout of the giraffe in front of you. Willy was downstairs, milking her so he could get the milk needed for her chocolates.

Noodle was supposed to have helped him that day, but the poor thing had caught a cold and you had been the lucky one (not really) to be driving the delivery cart. Although it had been a drastic change of plans, you had to adjust to it.

"Once. In Africa. Magnificent beast”

“Was she wild?”

“Wild? She was absolutely furious! But once my hands warmed up, I think she kind of liked it” Willy responded and then you giggled.

It was nice to have his company, that most eccentric guy who had come to rock everyone's world at the laundry.

“The way you left your coat makes it look like a person,” you pointed out, looking down at the coat rack on which he had left the red piece.

“Huh? It's true,” said the boy, smiling. Willy got up from his seat, humming a song, and then approached the structure taking a few steps and turns that ended in a mocking bow. “May I have this piece?”

You were watching his occurrence from above and when he started dancing you couldn't contain your laughter. He even started singing, showing you that he had a really beautiful voice.

"You like dancing?"

“I love it, actually,” he confessed. He had already put his coat and hat back on. “Especially when my partner is human.”

How curious, you were a human. And now that you had seen him dance, you were sure that you could become that dance partner he needed.

You started to go down the stairs, trying to ignore the vertigo that doing so gave you, and when you were two steps from the floor one of your feet slipped. You screamed as you fell, but you were lucky that he reacted quickly, managing to stop the impact by holding you by the back.

"My God…"

“It was close, right?” he laughed, still sounding agitated. “You have to be careful.”

You only managed to nod your head, slightly embarrassed, and then he helped you to step completely onto the floor. He was smiling, he always did, as if his cheeks were made to handle that.

“Do we have what we need?”

“We have it, my dear lady,” he replied, showing you the metal can that was filled with milk. At least something positive had come out of it all. “So it's time to go.”

“Thank you, Abigail!” You exclaimed towards the giraffe. She shook her head as if she really understood and the two of you got out of there.

It was cold outside and you felt strange seeing the zoo so desolate, although at the same time you were happy. Before the arrival of the chocolatier you could barely leave the laundry and now in a single day you had done wonderful things.

"No way…"

"What?"

“Have you ever flown?” He said with enthusiasm reflected in his bright eyes. You, as was logical, immediately denied, “Do you want to do it?”

"What?" you repeated, this time more acute and convinced it was a joke.

"It will be fun! Come on, trust me” he murmured and without giving you time to respond he took your hand to start running on the snowy road.

You were learning that you had to be careful with these occurrences and you had a feeling that this would not be the exception. You understood what his idea was the moment the bunch of balloons entered your field of vision and when you tried to react, he had already taken them with his free hand.

“It's not what… no, no, Willy…” you tried to stop him, but he wouldn't let you.

You ran out of pure inertia, knowing that if you slowed down you would probably trip and everything would turn out horribly. You were heading towards the lake and you closed your eyes as you imagined your destination, but it was nothing like you expected because the tips of your light feet barely touched the edge of the water. A second later you were already lifted into the air and then you clung to him with all the strength that existed in your body. You didn't even want to breathe for fear of falling and he noticed it.

"Open your eyes! You miss the show” the boy laughed, as if flying at night was the most normal thing in the world.

You ignored him and continued hugging him while the wind hit your face and ruffled your hair. You thanked God when your feet finally touched a firm surface, thinking it was the floor, but when you opened your eyes you noticed a glass floor illuminated from below: the panic returned when you realized that it was not a floor, but a ceiling.

“Willy, we're going to fall and die…” you half-screamed, launching yourself into his arms again. He was still holding his bunch of balloons and looked as cheerful as at the beginning.

“Nothing is going to happen to us. It's like walking on a tightrope."

“I have never walked a tightrope!” you replied fearfully. He let go of you and started to walk you away from him, slowly, and then he saw the terror in your eyes.

“If you've never walked a tightrope then it'll just be like dancing, okay?” he smiled, while he took your hand without getting rid of your means of transportation yet. “Do you know how to dance?”

Of course you knew how to do it, but this wasn't exactly what you were expecting when you wanted him to ask you.

“Look, just take one step forward,” he continued, pulling you towards him and moving in the opposite direction. “One back, one forward, two back…”

The boy hummed the instructions kindly and you tried to look him in the eyes just to avoid noticing how many meters high you were. After a couple of sequences you had begun to relax, but when he suddenly placed the balloons in your hand and let you go, you let out a little scream again.

Thanks to his help you did a couple of turns in the air and then he held you again, by his waist, until you were right in front of him.

“Don't let go of me” you asked in a whisper and Willy promised that he wouldn't.

Under that commitment you continued dancing to the rhythm that your friend set and little by little you were feeling more excited about what was happening. You had literally flown through the air and now you were on the damn roof of the gourmet galleries dancing with the most handsome chocolatier you knew; How likely was it at the beginning of the day? None, in short, so it was a pleasant surprise.

Willy guided you to the top of the dome that adorned the galleries, using the balloons to fly again, and suddenly you two stopped to hold onto the metal rod at the top of it. You were smiling from ear to ear and his hand had ended up on yours, while he also had a happy face.

“Didn't I tell you you'd be fun?”

“You are completely crazy, Mr. Wonka. I mean it in the best way” you sighed sincerely, managing to get a giggle out of him.

The man seemed to love heights, unlike you, and he wasn't about to let the moment between you last so short. So, careful not to let go, he began to bend over himself, taking you with him, until you were left sitting on the glass ceiling.

“Just breathe and take a second to appreciate the view,” he asked you, still holding your hand in an attempt to keep you calm.

If you looked down you could see the interior full of shoppers and if you looked forward you could see the entire city. However, the best view was to the side, right where Willy could be seen closely. Until that moment you noticed that the flamingos seemed to have followed you through the air and were now flying freely.

It was actually nice to be in that position once you had put your absolute terror of heights aside and as if you were suddenly aware of everything, the hand holding yours made you blush. Like this you were silent for a minute, with only the sound of the wind filling your ears.

“You know, Willy?” you started to say, not really looking at him. You were focused on the bright lights of one of the mansions “I haven't felt like this in a long time. It's nice to go out into the world."

Were you happy perhaps? If so, then he had achieved his goal. The truth was that one of the reasons he had done everything he had done was in the hope of making you smile and even with the difficulties that had arisen along the way, he had achieved it.

He was about to respond when the feeling of your lips placing a kiss on his cheek stopped his breathing and stirred his thoughts.

“I only worry about one thing though,” you exclaimed again. He looked at you carefully to listen to what you were going to say to him. “How are we going to get down from here?”

The boy laughed and the hand with which he was still holding the balloons waved in the air. You let out a whimper.

“Did you expect anything else?”

“An emergency staircase or something,” you joked. “But I guess it will be flying.”

If you had thought that going up into the air had been a nightmare, going down to the ground again turned out to be much worse.

taglist: @dyieying @reallysparklychaos @silverchainbee @amethyistheart @shadowygladiatorlight @lavendarhearts @lou-multifandoms

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

Opinions on owning pet parrots? I'm doing a degree in animal welfare and have pretty much come to the conclusion that the smaller species are fine if you can provide what they need but the larger birds like the greys, outside of being rescues, shouldn't be pets at all.

Okaaaaaaaay so time to make everyone mad at me again I guess

parrots have been human companion animals for longer than Judaism has been around, so, I don't think we can just say "it's wrong" and force everyone to stop doing a thing that's been done for that long. Like, this isn't a human randomly taking home a tiger, this is a long going process with many species of parrots now being near-domesticated in the strictest sense of the term

Parrot ownership is in fact ancient in many "tropical" areas and the idea that it's a new thing is... white supremacy! what a shock!

in the United States (I am not talking about other countries, just my own), literally no companion parrots are wild caught anymore. They're bred. Bred as companions. If we were to outlaw larger parrot ownership, many birds would be without a home, and that's morally reprehensible

in fact, the kind of backlash against parrot ownership that's risen up in the past decade has directly led to a shelter crisis. most shelters are overfilled and overstressed, which is a *lot* worse for the birds in many cases than home ownership

parrots are pets that have extraordinarily high care needs. They are not good pets for everyone. but no pet is! Every single companion animal has its pluses and downsides, and many of them have many more downsides than pluses. Doesn't mean they shouldn't have a home.

There are some people who are actually able to take care of companion parrots, adequately, in their homes. First of all, we've learned a lot in the past few decades. Second of all, there are lifestyles that work well with even larger parrots and their needs.

So, while the number of human beings on this planet who can adequately take care of large parrots is extremely small, it is not zero. Which means if someone thinks they can take care of a bird well, and has the space and resources and time, then they should be allowed to, if that's what they wish

Because birds in the USA are bred as companions, the vast majority of said parrots would be unhappy in any situation that doesn't involve close contact with humans. Admittedly, all my parrots are "small" (whatever that means), but I know for a fact that if you took them away from our home they would be significantly worse off, because they're bonded to us. That's how this whole flocking thing works

Also, our most recent rescues, who had been stuck in a shelter for 15 years, are definitely happier now getting more individual attention and space. Shelters are supposed to be temporary places for most birds, not permanent homes, because they can't get the adequate level of care and attention that they need.

also, I'll point out that being pets has allowed many parrot species to have thriving populations that are not threatened by climate change, which is something to their benefit. given. you know. climate change. not that pet ownership is conservation, but, it's not that far removed from it - the axolotl population owes a lot to both pet ownership and zoo captivity, for example.

like, it's a spectrum, right? And it doesn't really go along with size, at the end of the day. There are tons of extremely neurotic and high needs small parrots, and many larger ones that are exceptionally chill. So while the vast majority of humans on this planet should not have a parrot, that's not all of them; and while the number that can handle higher maintenance ones is even smaller, its not zero. And I think, given the fact that we have all of these captive bred birds in the states at least, it's not a good idea to tell people that there is no way to ethically practice husbandry with them.

and I'm not the kind of person who assumes I know everything about someone's life in order to tell them "no you shouldn't bring home that cockatoo", so I'm not going to. In fact, I give everyone on the internet the benefit of the doubt if they have a parrot unless a) that parrot shows signs of distress (like plucking) or b) there is clearly something wrong going on (like someone's smoking weed around their bird)

so, no, there's no commonly kept (and thus domestically captive bred) bird I think is a bad pet for every single human on the planet. And it's not my business whether a particular individual should or should not have a particular bird.

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 1.2

George: We don't have to keep [an image] up, we just remain ourselves. Don't we, Ringo? Ringo: well, we do, I mean, it's the other two we're worried about. It's a joke about John and Paul being bigheads, but a crazy person – definitely not me – could also see it other ways if they wanted to.

Paul talking about their mutual friend when asked how they met and John telling him not to complicate it. They're so married it's ridiculous. 

Always looking at each other with every single joke. 

He looks like he's in a lovely enclosure at the petting zoo. I've always been so confused by this footage. Can anyone tell me what the hell is going on?

I LOVE that we now know Paul was cast as Thisbe and John as Pyramus and then they switched. I'm actually dying to know how and why that happened though. My first instinct was “of course. Paul was scared he'd look too convincing as a woman, so John did it for him.” But no. Paul dressed as a woman at the cavern, wore ladies lingerie in Hamburg, and wanted to do a full drag show on TV in the early seventies. So why not Thisbe?

Why do you as a man randomly bring up the color of your friend's dick while staring lovingly into his eyes?

It must be noted. They had a wonderful time playing star-crossed lovers. 

The bickering pianos are so cute! And then John (prompting Paul): and John and I . . . Paul: oh I hate this. John: will probably carry on . . . Paul: we'll carry on songwriting . . . You just know Paul didn't hear the end of that one interview answer for a long long time. And it's because John just had to hear it over and over again.

Love the editing so that Paul smacks John's ass right as the symbols crash. 10/10 A+

This iconic moment. Poor George tally number 4.

Interviewer brings up marriage and John takes a shot like he wants to forget that the whole concept even exists. Literally poor Cynthia. And not even in an “lol her husband's gay” type of way. Just in a genuine “the way their relationship fell apart actually breaks my heart because she really did love him and in his way he loved her too but they were just so thoroughly incompatible” type of way. 

Paul: makes a stupid dad joke. John: giggles gleefully and kicks his feet

I have never seen someone so disappointed that they didn't need to lend their friend a pen. Paul had his hand in his pocket before John even asked the interviewer for a pen and when the interviewer gives him one, Paul literally hangs his head like he's just been cut from the school play. I just. The obsession is frankly cartoonish. But also, he just needs to be needed, you know? How many songs does he have which conflate being needed and being loved?

The juxtaposition of Paul and John elaborately messing with the interviewer (“yes John Lenard, that's me” and “actually it's done by mirrors.”) vs George's “I don't know” and “yeah.” it's actually kind of mean editing but whatever. It is ULM not UH. Someone should make that though.

Again, John. Calm down. He's not that funny. Just look at Jimmy. That's the normal person's reaction to that joke. John is half the reason Paul has such a big head honestly. 

Paul's answer to a question about the Beatles gaining a lot of adult fans is nice. Sometimes he shocks with a bit of wisdom. Sometimes his words don't get messed up at the point they hit his throat as he says. 

What the fuck? Okay so the interviewer asks Paul what he likes in a girl, right? I've always been too distracted by Paul saying he likes a sense of humor and John doing an obnoxious fake laugh in the background because John. It's embarrassing how obvious you are. Stop.

But I never noticed Paul actually says “people”. The interviewer asks about girls and he says he likes “people - er - girls” to have a sense of humor. Huh. Okay. 

So ULM was actually what made me a serious Beatles fan and this was the first moment where I had to pause it and verify to see if what I'd just read was actually true. It really is a doozy. 

How to flirt. A guide by Paul McCartney. Step one: get your crush’s attention. This should be extremely easy. Just gesture vaguely at something you're holding. He'll be interested. Step two: do something suggestive to a phallic object. Step three: that's it. You've got him. He'll do whatever you want.

The editing in this thing truly is brutal. Just the jump cuts from a question about Cynthia to John and Paul making each other laugh to girls screaming to John and Paul unnecessarily touching to girls passed out on the ground to John and Paul desperate for each other's attention to girls waving signs to John and Paul sharing weird eye contact to girls physically mobbing them to John and Paul beaming at each other to a question about Jane. It really does drive home the immense pressure of compulsory heterosexuality back then. 

Then a question that's obviously meant to poke a nerve and start some bad feelings. “Paul. Is John the leader of the Beatles?” Easily rebuffed with “no I'm not” and “there's no real leader”. I know I'm dramatic but really it's like every aspect of that society was against them you know? And they just kind of said "fuck you, we're crazy about each other."

Question: what do they think about when they're imprisoned in their hotel rooms? John: we don't think about one thing. *Whips head to look at Paul* well, some of us do. Oh and you know that how exactly? What, do you just have a printout of his every thought? Do you keep constant tabs on his dick?

Someone give me the heterosexual explanation of that moment when John very clearly and obviously checks out and appreciates Paul's ass as he and Ringo are pretending to be cowboys. Seriously. I'm at a loss here. 

Poor George tally number six? Seven? They're asked what they'll do if England reinstates the draft. John brings up Southern Ireland. George brings up Germany. Paul and John plan their joint escape to Southern Ireland as if George hadn't even spoken. 

The choice to play “Another Girl” over that quote of John's being like ‘Paul's actually much meaner than i am’ is great. Because that's seriously such a jerk song. I don't much like Jane, honestly, but fuck, she deserved so much better than Paul. He was such a douche.  

Literally all the song choices in this are phenomenal. “Hide Your Love Away” over the montage of 60s homophobia moments? It's so genius. Saying everything without saying anything. Letting the Beatles do the talking. 

The laugh track over the cartoon is honestly so sad. Nobody asked them if they were okay with being mocked like that and they never even made a dime off it. What would that have felt like to know that your being “too close” with your best friend was a running joke on TV?

“It's only love and that is all. Why should I feel the way I do?”

[genericpuff]

zoo wee mama, the new Hbomberguy video is a RIDE and it's absolutely relevant to everything going on in webcomics. let's talk about it.

I'm sure a lot of you have heard about this video going around already (it's gotten 2+ million views in just a little over 24 hours) but if you haven't, I highly recommend you set aside time to watch it yourself, I was surprised to see how much he had dug up especially regarding Youtubers that I never suspected were plagiarizing. He also says some very on-point stuff about how we view content creators and plagiarizing in this "do it yourself" industry that really resonated with me because it's stuff I've been saying for years in the webcomic sphere.

I won't spoil the video much because I think it's best experienced watching it for yourself (especially because he's putting all the money he earns off this video towards compensating the people who had their work plagiarized by one Youtuber in particular who's especially guilty... I'm not even gonna mince words, it's James Somerton) but this passage in particular just felt so validating to hear from someone who clearly holds themselves to the standards that more Youtubers - and creators in general - should be holding themselves to:

"I think a lot of people are inclined to protect creators they like on the grounds that plagiarism is a very academic-sounding problem, like something that happens in research papers or journalism, not something that you can do in a silly video made for entertainment purposes. Why are we holding Youtubers to standards? That would be like expecting accurate history from someone whose name has 'historian' in it! Because Youtubers often project a sense of being scrappy, do-it-yourself amateurs, it feels almost wrong to expect them to be professional... but a lot of them are professionals, regardless how authentic their persona may be. Youtubers are now among the most recognizable faces on the planet, and have become immensely wealthy doing this. Some are so influential we literally call them influencers. Maybe it's a good idea to have some standards for not stealing. Maybe." - Hbomberguy, "Plagiarism and You(tube)" timestamp: 3:35:32

Obviously this has nothing to directly do with webcomics but I do think it's something that reflects very similar behavior within the webcomic community that's, frankly, worth discussing. Many people justifiably want to make a living off their work, want webcomics as a whole to be taken more seriously in the mainstream next to traditional publishing, and for webcomic creators to be taken more seriously as professionals.

But at the same time, I still see a lot of infantilizing of the people in this industry, done by both their fans and the people within it, the idea that being a professional (noun) isn't mutually inclusive of being professional (adjective). It's how we've gotten creators in the past like Snailords, mongie, and yes, Rachel Smythe, who are often shielded by their fanbase on the basis of, "they're just indie comic creators doing what they love, leave them alone!" when they're very much not that, at least not anymore. At least two of those three creators have TV deals (though whether or not they'll make it to the screen is debatable), and all three of them have or have had Webtoons seemingly wrapped around their finger more so than any other creator (though mongie has argued she left Webtoons over unfair treatment, it really doesn't seem like that to the people who know how much mongie was intentionally pushing the rules of what she was allowed to post on the platform, particularly with her Sam x Charles smut).

They are not 'indie creators' anymore and they are not exempt from criticism just because their younger fanbase mistakenly assumes them to be the same age as them. Rachel, mongie, and Snailords are all in their mid-to-late 30's. They all have merchandising deals and either have TV deals or want to have TV deals. They've all been given priority advertising by Webtoons even at the cost of undercutting all the other creators and series on the platform that need it more. They are not "scrappy" creators, they're contractual professionals now and they all do not act like it. Whether it's reacting poorly to criticism or using their characters as a mouthpiece for their own egos or even just using their comics as a poorly disguised fetish, they're all contractual professionals who do not act professional. And they're not the only webcomic creators who do this.

And again, I've talked about this before on here and in the discussions on reddit concerning LO and other webtoons, so it's incredibly validating and refreshing to see Hbomberguy put those feelings into words (albeit about Youtubers, but let's be real, Webtoons is definitely trying to be the "Youtube of webcomics", as is Tapas and other competing webtoon platforms) because that sentiment rings true for a lot of the webtoon creators who have practically failed upwards and only forgo their advertised "professional status" when they're under fire for their actions and writing. Rachel is an "award winning creator" and "self-proclaimed folklorist" until her comic is criticized for its blatant misrepresentation and disrespect towards an entire culture, then all of a sudden "it's just fanfiction". Mongie is the creator of the bestselling series Let's Play until she's called out for racist depictions of Asians and Hispanic people in her work, then all of a sudden she's "just trying to make a fun comic" that's not meant to be taken that seriously. And of course, their audience of teens and young adults who don't know any better keep forgiving them and vehemently defending them because they wrongfully assume that these creators are scrappy teens just like themselves who just started making webcomics for fun and then achieved fame and glory overnight (which they're not!)

We should be having bigger discussions about what awaits the webcomic and "content creator" industry as a whole in the future and what standards we should be holding creators and their work to. We can't possibly expect these mediums to be taken seriously as a professional industry if we don't set better expectations for the quality of the work that's being created and the creators who are building these platforms for themselves.

"In current discourse, Youtubers simultaneously present as the forefront of a new medium, creative voices that need to be taken seriously as part of the 'next generation of media'... and also 'uwu smol beans little babies who shouldn't be taken seriously when they rip someone off and make tens of thousands of dollars doing it." - Hbomberguy, "Plagiarism and You(tube)" timestamp: 3:36:18

[missbluesunflowersstuff]

How do you imagine the adult!Damian's life?

First of all no evil pipeline and second no batman pipeline

I've seen some posts about him retiring himself and becoming a veterinarian but let's be real here, this boy can't stay still, he would enjoy the peace of civil life in the start but he will get bored soon and all his siblings and friends know it

Then I offer you: reluctant hero Damian 'I-said-I-want-peace-and-no-hero-stuff-but-I-see-some-bandits-and-I-need-to-protect-the-others' Wayne

The stories can help him help with the investigation, do a "hacker job" for some friends or siblings, fix some machine, literally punching villains and criminals in their face, being the family healer (he is a sorcerer guys), being the neighborhood cryptid, go some night as random vigilant because 'my brothers and father are so stupid for the fuckin' sake! I still need to do this shit' to save the city and/or his family

Also

Damian, in call with Tim: Explain to me again, why should I do it?

Tim: because I and Bernard are in our sabbat year and we all know how dad is when he is focused and your grades are perfect, Damian, no one would bother if you skip some class to help in this case

Damian: >tt< it's better you give me a nice souvenir when you come back, Timothy

_______

Damian: Jason... Why are you in my kitchen?

Jason: There's a bullet in my leg and I need you to take it out

Damian: ... You have luck that Alfred the cat like you

Jason: Are you not fixing this with magic?

Damian: How did you get shot?

Jason: ...me and my friends are drunk

Damian: you don't deserve magic

_____

Jon: Dami, please please please please please

Damian: I'm not a hero Jon, how do you expect me to invade the Luthor computer to help you? Do you want me to commit a crime?

Jon: please Damian! It's really important this time, I swear!

Damian: >tt< I'm in

Jon: you're the best Dami!

____

Damian gets an internship at the zoo and a group of criminals decide to steal the animals for genetic experiments

Damian: ... not in my watch

Damian, defeat the criminals and save everyone: you're late, it's yours and the girls' day shift

Duke: honestly? we came slowly because we knew you were here

___

Damian: today I just want to garden and read my shoujos

*literally aliens*

And the shit goes, sometimes he needs to be Batman because Bruce is old and needs help in some cases, and obviously the class "I'm not Batman!" basically adopt some random stray kid as young sibling now and carry them around everywhere

And also he will call his siblings for their first names in the future because they get Damian's trust but the most important family members still are: Alfred, Dick and Steph

And as a cherry on top: "you know what? I'm leaving! I can't have a shit in Gotham! I'm moving to Blüdhaven!"

Dick Grayson slowly picks up the box with a flamebird costume that "conveniently" fits on Damian perfectly

I say this because this boy has been disappointed by so many adults in his life and continues to be Robin, so the only conclusion is: he likes being a hero, not because of his father, but because of himself. That's why he wasn't just going to stop being a vigilant, he was going to continue being a hero even when he wanted peace

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

(This is a resubmission. I sent my original ask I think back in November and I haven’t been able to find it so I reread your FAQ real quick and deduced Tumblr must have eaten it or I won’t find it)(sorry if it has been posted and I missed it)

AITA for kind of leading on my friend who is now my boyfriend back when he thought he was my girlfriend?

(also this isn’t a fandom at all if it got mistaken for that, this is my life somehow)

I dont remember the fake names I used so let’s go with TJ for technically partner, and El and Leo for my sister and her boyfriend.

The long and short of it is, I’m a gay man. Always have been and probably always will be. TJ, Leo and El and I are all pretty good friends even before this.

What basically happened was I had bought tickets to see a movie with a guy I liked, who cancelled on me last minute. It was a movie TJ (at the time identifying as female and had not realized he was a trans man) really wanted to see, so I brought TJ. On what I assumed was a friendship thing.

That’s kind of where it started. From there, there were several events that this guy I liked kept cancelling on me, and as total coincidence I swear, were things TJ liked doing. Movie, zoo, Italian restaurant one time, etc.

(Honestly it got to a point that it was obvious the other guy and I weren’t going to work, so there weren’t any hard feelings there)

This went on for a few months before Leo mentioned how cute we were together. I wasn’t sure what he meant and he and El admitted that they thought that TJ and I were dating, that I was actually bi and had decided to go out with TJ. (Who just for the record is Leo’s brother so he saw how happy TJ apparently was lately)

Anyway all that freaked me out and I didn’t realize that TJ and the others thought I liked TJ like that. I mean at the time I thought we were just really good friends, and it’s not like there’s anything about TJ at the time that would have made him a bad girlfriend, just that I wasn’t interested in girls.

Until TJ came out to me as trans. I hadn’t known whether to tell TJ the truth or not, and then when he came out to me I realized how much he trusted me and I couldn’t. Hurt him like that.

But now he’s like, literally the hottest guy ever and I’m honestly really glad I stuck it out because now we’re definitely dating and I’m the luckiest guy ever.

But I still wonder if I was the asshole for never being honest, and if I still am for still not telling him the truth. Like, if I WAS honest, maybe I wouldn’t be dating him now. Idk.

Am I an asshole?

(ps: @throw-it-out-boys is my throwaway sideblog for this, so I’m tagging it so I’ll get a ping if this one is posted. In theory)

What are these acronyms?

[agaypanic]

Headcannons on being the Davenports bestfriend 💗

Being Best Friends With the Davenports Headcanons

Masterlist

Request Something!

A/N: this is probably asking for being best friends with all of them at the same time, but i’m gonna do individual headcanons. also even tho it says davenport, im also adding leo (i know he’s technically a davenport but idk i dont see him as a davenport i see him as a dooley)

***

Adam

You always enable and encourage his silly ideas

Which his family doesn’t like much

But you and Adam have fun, so you don’t care much

You help him with his homework a bunch

He doesn’t like asking Chase for help bc he makes him feel really dumb

Your favorite activity is probably going to the zoo bc he loves all the animals

You peeked through the front door of the Davenport’s house. When the coast was clear, you opened the door wider and waved for Adam to come in. How he was gonna hide this when his family saw, you didn’t know.

“What is that?” Leo’s sudden voice made the two of you jump. He had come from down the hall, and was staring at you with an incredulous look and pointed finger. 

“Lunch,” Adam answered, pointing at the bag of food in your hand. Leo rolled his eyes, furiously trying to make where he was pointing more obvious.

“No, that!” 

You and Adam looked at the alpaca that Leo was pointing to, knowing you were unable to avoid it any longer.

“Oh my gosh, how did that get there?” You asked dumbly, as if you didn’t help Adam break it out of the zoo and bring it home.

“This is definitely the first time I’ve seen this,” Adam said in a faux shocked tone, petting the alpaca’s head. “But since it’s here, we can keep it, right?”

Bree

You guys become extremely close extremely fast

Being surrounded by guys all her life, you’re very refreshing to be around

The two of you love to gossip

About who’s with whom, her siblings’ antics, everything and nothing

You guys like going to the mall to shop, eat, and catch up

Even though you hang out literally every day

“Oh my gosh, did I tell you what happened with my brothers this week?” Bree asked as she looked through a rack of shirts.

“You probably have, but tell me anyway.” You laugh, looking at the clothes with her.

“So Leo likes this girl, right? And Chase comes up with some plan to get her to fall for him- oh, this is cute. Well, anyways, it completely backfires, and she ends up going after Adam.”

“No.” You gasped.

“Yes! And that’s not even the craziest part.” Bree took something off the rack and held it up to you, wanting your opinion. You nodded furiously at the sight, and she grinned, adding it to the try-on pile of clothes she was carrying. “So Chase tells Leo that he’ll talk to the girl for him, and guess what.”

“What? Does she start liking Chase?” You ask jokingly. Bree raised her eyebrows at you and pursed her lips, signaling you were correct. “No!”

“Yes!”

Chase

Yall are that duo at school

Smart, sassy, and pretty

You guys sign up for extracurriculars like science fair and debate club together

Even though he’s literally the smartest man in the world, he likes having you go over his work

Very occasionally, he’ll miss a detail, and you’ll point it out

But he mainly just likes the validation

But you also never hesitate to put him in his place when needed

“Hey, can you read this over for me?” Chase asked as he handed you his laptop. You decided to come over to watch a movie when he suddenly remembered he needed to revise one of his papers for a class. 

Pausing the TV, you set the computer on your lap and read the essay. You didn’t comment until you were finished, handing the laptop back to Chase.

“Pretty good.” You said, playing the movie again.

“I knew it.” Chase gloated, reclining on the couch next to you. “Perks of being the smartest guy ever.”

“Yeah, well, you also misspelled ‘and,’ genius.” You laughed as you watched him scramble for his computer, looking through every word to find the mistake. “Perks of not knowing how to type, I guess.”

“Shut up.” He grumbled, fixing the error and crossing his arms with a pout.

Leo

The blind leading the blind

You encourage all of his delusions, mainly because you think it’s funny

You two are a comedic duo tbh

You guys bounce off each other really well

Before the bionic trio, you always defended Leo from bullies

You still do sometimes

Leo was currently talking your ear off about his current crush, some girl named Danielle. This was part of your guys’ routine. He’d tell you about someone he liked, you’d tell him that the two of them were meant to be, something would go wrong, you’d laugh about it, and then Leo would find someone new the next week.

“We’re so close to being boyfriend and girlfriend; I can feel it!” He said excitedly.

“Oh yeah.” You nodded, trying to suppress a laugh. “I know that if I had a boyfriend, I’d want him to be my human footstool because it’s what I deserve.”

“Exactly! You’re like the only one who gets it.”

“Ooh, there she is now.” You said, looking over his shoulder to see his girl of the week at her locker. “She came into the same hallway you’re in, so she clearly wants to see you. You should go talk to her.”

“Really?” Leo asked, slowly standing up. You nodded and pushed him in Danielle’s direction, waiting for everything to unfold. 

Leo somehow found the courage to talk to Danielle, but it was a pretty short conversation. When she walked away, she looked at him from over her shoulder and said goodbye.

“See you later, Lenny!”

The name made you bust out laughing, almost weak in the knees to stand up and go over to the now somewhat sad boy.

“Better luck next time, Lenny.” You said, patting his shoulder and laughing some more.

[weirdmageddon]

some thoughts on dave lalonde

so note this isn’t a kidswap au, just a strilonde guardian swap au; a plausible au wherein dave’s meteor(s) are set to land in upstate new york and rose’s in houston tx where they are discovered by mom lalonde and bro strider respectively. so it’s not even really an “alternative universe” so much as “alternative circumstance” because that’s literally all that changes

their interests aren’t swapped; their interests are a natural result of a mix of what they were always predisposed towards (we can look at their post-scratch versions for constants) combined with their living environment. rose strider is still gothy and writes, knits, and has an interest in the zoologically dubious. perhaps rose might handcraft some delirious puppets for her brother-slash-ectofather’s enterprise as a “gift” in one-upmanship. probably has good rapport with the crows that fly into her ironic knockoff disney-princess themed bedroom (see the post i linked above) and get them to fuck with bro passively in exchange for peanuts. she also keeps all the things the crows gift her, pickpocketed shiny things and whatnot

dave lalonde is still the knight of time, still makes sbahj, likes photography, still loves cooking up unbelievably ill jams, still into post-ironic expression, however he’s not irony-poisoned by bro so he’s more comfortable being genuine. his interest in dead things and paleontology comes more to a forefront because of mom’s predilection towards science and genuine encouragement from her. after all she’s made many a mutant kitten herself

i feel like since dave fell to earth with maplehoof, crushing the pony instantly on impact, instead of using its hide to make a bib like a fucking weirdo, mom would paradox clone maplehoof. so dave has a pet pony with a ribbon and little pink heart on it. a knight needs a loyal steed. and hes been attached to maplehoof since his literal first few minutes of existing. so maplehoof wouldnt be bought anywhere, it would originate from itself

i mean he’s seen with the pony at his side in the post-scratch universe so…..

would make sense if the pony mom gifted to rose in canon was more of an involved thing with dave in this circumstance

the only issue is maplehoof cant become his sprite, otherwise that would break the timeloop (they need to come unaltered to earth with dave on the meteor in the first place during the reckoning). also [S] Ride with dave and the scarf would absolutely be a thing at some point

i was thinking maybe instead of a crow, since they aren’t as “everywhere” in upstate new york as they are in that high rise in texas, dave has something more prehistoric put into a sprite. like a parave theropod. can you imagine parave davesprite. maybe an archaeopteryx or something

i guess mom would indulge in a living museum/zoo for “domesticated” ancient organisms all jurassic parked like a weird ongoing experiment but the ectobiology wouldnt be perfect especially because the dna wouldnt be able to be fully read from fossils and specimens. i feel like jurassic park should be dave lalonde’s sort of in-universe media reference the way con air was with john and putting the bunny back in the box. like his friends would just rip on him for living out jurassic park in an imperfect domestic way

and he accidentally kills it through some fetch modus shenanigans. dave still has the bladekind strife specibus but not because he does rooftop battles but because swords are unironically cool, and flings it out the window by accident and it strikes one of the parave theropods in the enclosed zoo below outside his window and dave feels kinda bad

when jade sees it as his server player shes like “oh nooooo :(“ and dave is like “oh god no dont put that in the seizure kernel while i take a piss in one of the many fancy bathrooms this household has”