#but also john and jade would be dead so hed have to go back anyway

[weirdmageddon]

some thoughts on dave lalonde

so note this isn’t a kidswap au, just a strilonde guardian swap au; a plausible au wherein dave’s meteor(s) are set to land in upstate new york and rose’s in houston tx where they are discovered by mom lalonde and bro strider respectively. so it’s not even really an “alternative universe” so much as “alternative circumstance” because that’s literally all that changes

their interests aren’t swapped; their interests are a natural result of a mix of what they were always predisposed towards (we can look at their post-scratch versions for constants) combined with their living environment. rose strider is still gothy and writes, knits, and has an interest in the zoologically dubious. perhaps rose might handcraft some delirious puppets for her brother-slash-ectofather’s enterprise as a “gift” in one-upmanship. probably has good rapport with the crows that fly into her ironic knockoff disney-princess themed bedroom (see the post i linked above) and get them to fuck with bro passively in exchange for peanuts. she also keeps all the things the crows gift her, pickpocketed shiny things and whatnot

dave lalonde is still the knight of time, still makes sbahj, likes photography, still loves cooking up unbelievably ill jams, still into post-ironic expression, however he’s not irony-poisoned by bro so he’s more comfortable being genuine. his interest in dead things and paleontology comes more to a forefront because of mom’s predilection towards science and genuine encouragement from her. after all she’s made many a mutant kitten herself

i feel like since dave fell to earth with maplehoof, crushing the pony instantly on impact, instead of using its hide to make a bib like a fucking weirdo, mom would paradox clone maplehoof. so dave has a pet pony with a ribbon and little pink heart on it. a knight needs a loyal steed. and hes been attached to maplehoof since his literal first few minutes of existing. so maplehoof wouldnt be bought anywhere, it would originate from itself

i mean he’s seen with the pony at his side in the post-scratch universe so…..

would make sense if the pony mom gifted to rose in canon was more of an involved thing with dave in this circumstance

the only issue is maplehoof cant become his sprite, otherwise that would break the timeloop (they need to come unaltered to earth with dave on the meteor in the first place during the reckoning). also [S] Ride with dave and the scarf would absolutely be a thing at some point

i was thinking maybe instead of a crow, since they aren’t as “everywhere” in upstate new york as they are in that high rise in texas, dave has something more prehistoric put into a sprite. like a parave theropod. can you imagine parave davesprite. maybe an archaeopteryx or something

i guess mom would indulge in a living museum/zoo for “domesticated” ancient organisms all jurassic parked like a weird ongoing experiment but the ectobiology wouldnt be perfect especially because the dna wouldnt be able to be fully read from fossils and specimens. i feel like jurassic park should be dave lalonde’s sort of in-universe media reference the way con air was with john and putting the bunny back in the box. like his friends would just rip on him for living out jurassic park in an imperfect domestic way

and he accidentally kills it through some fetch modus shenanigans. dave still has the bladekind strife specibus but not because he does rooftop battles but because swords are unironically cool, and flings it out the window by accident and it strikes one of the parave theropods in the enclosed zoo below outside his window and dave feels kinda bad

when jade sees it as his server player shes like “oh nooooo :(“ and dave is like “oh god no dont put that in the seizure kernel while i take a piss in one of the many fancy bathrooms this household has”

[runearcana]

Dirk splintered the epilogue timelines himself.

He needs to at least TRY to stop being a self-entitled brat.

Dirk feels ENTITLED to peoples hearts and thus destroys them and possibly parts of himself in the process.

but some part of him knows he possesses a heart. He sincerely loves Jake English but deals with the situation the wrong way. Jake is obviously receptive to Dirks feelings, to all of his friends feelings about him, potentially.. but he has his limits in how he is treated too. Good for him!

The splintered timelines are about what theyre doing [candy] and what they want to do [meat].

There are some parts of the narrative that legitimately are beyond canon, like behind the scenes, pretty much, and those are probably the closest to what is actually going on.

Karkat is finally contributing to his society in some way he can feel proud of, but he knows there is something important that hes missing. He feels more and more isolated and distant from the others. Hes still losing people that he loves.

but theres also the more *canon* version of Karkat that sees theres still a bigger picture to consider. He still has Dave close by his side and hes on his way to saving the world again.

I want to be perfectly honest here.

Dave crushed on me hardcore and I could not see whether he had legitimately let me go or not by his words and actions alluding to some form of interest in me. I felt obligated to reject him again and again because I didnt know how to handle what it meant that he still cared/cares about me. I thought I had miscommunicated and that if I kept repeating myself consistently enough his feelings would disappear. It was selfish of me, but more than anything ignorant of me.

Hes FURIOUS at me for the time being, Hes hurt and probably feels veritably worthless to me.

He ended up linking his role in my life to Karkats because Karkat spoke to me through him [and fuckin John, kinda, and previously, Gamzee].

So I walked away from all of them [except John, my biological brother for the record, I also identify heavily with Jade - Rose even made an off-color remarks about our similar appearances, but shes always taking jabs at me when shes not treating me like Im literally invisible ] because all of them were hurting me simultaneously through their association with Karkat, and specifically that Dave had added insult to injury because Dave LAUGHED his ass off when Karkat proclaimed that hed never kiss me after slut-shaming me undeservedly without ANY warning, and during a time when I was truly trying to be a good friend to him, whether it hurt me to never be able to be with him or not.

The circumstances were not good for me at all.

Anyway. -.-

so the thing is, I didnt know I had a use to Dave aside from his love interest. but Im starting to realize he cant move onto anyone else. Hes so stuck and it must be maddening for him.

I also no longer see myself as having sabotaged his chances of finding someone better by distracting him, as Vriska did to me.

That feels strangely reassuring for me. I love Dave a lot. I want him to value me, but not just as a love interest or unrequited love for him. I want him to want to remain my friend. I want to know for a fact that I have legitimate value to him.

Sure, I can technically go on fine without him, but that doesnt mean its my preference.

back to the beyond canon stuff..

so, Vriska is only in Candy and Terezi is only in Meat. Vriskas coming back is non-canon. Shes sincerely irrelevant to the story as a whole.

Terezi is exactly where shes supposed to be. She comes across as confused as to how shes even still alive when shed be better off dead, but let me tell you friends, she has found herself again and even her non-Homestuck friends + John [to an extent] have taken notice.

but I still dont know what their choices will be in all of this.