#also that quote thing is literally something someone has said to me I am not reaching

[colorfulwhisperstriumph]

WAIT WTF THIS IS LIKE THE MOST VALID REASON EVER

“U think House is a bottom bc u r ableist and don’t think disabled people can top blah blah blah” no I think he’s a bottom bc of that one scene where him and Wilson r talking abt blood types and Wilson says his blood type is the universal receiver so House responds that Wilson’s blood type is the universal donor which is why he has 3 alimonies

[crossbackpoke-check]

about to be sooo nosy so. my apologies. but. morgan frost? girlfriend? do share (or don’t! again this is so nosy i’m sorry)

for legal purposes i can neither confirm nor deny anything about morgan and his girlfriend but afaik i think he’s single right now? at one point (within the past four years 😭) he did for sure have a girlfriend and that is the extent of my wag knowledge

[drchucktingle]

THE TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION TELLS CHUCK TINGLE TO STAY HOME BUT WE PROVE LOVE ANYWAY

just when you buckaroos thought 2024 would be a break from book drama, here comes chuck tingle in the mix. recently i was asked to be a featured speaker at the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION annual conference. a few days ago they rescinded my invitation. here is what happened.

(EDITED TO ADD THIS LINK. if you have a hard time reading this on way of tumblr you can also read for free on chucks patreon)

i would like to start off by saying it is not my intent to start a fight, and all those reading this should know that the actions of a few misguided folks do not speak for the whole TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION. i am sure there are many involved who will be very upset to learn what others at TLA have done in their name. there are many individuals here, so please do not paint them all as villains in your mind. besides, chuck loves the dang library everyone knows that.

the point of writing this is not to vilify. i am writing this is because MOMENTS OF DARKNESS are the best places to SHINE A LIGHT AND PROVE LOVE IS REAL. this is a perfect time for learning and growing and for us talk on some very important things that queer buckaroos and neurodivergent buckaroos face every day. this is an unfortunate moment that WE can turn around and use to prove love is real.

i am also writing this to understand some of my own personal feelings on the matter. for something that seems very simple on the surface, the trot is complex, and i am still working out my emotions on the whole dang thing. i am learning in this way.

PART ONE: BAG OF LOVE

a few months ago chuck was asked to be a featured speaker at the 2024 TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION ANNUAL CONFERENCE. i have been asked to do things like the before and it is ALWAYS a fun time to meet bookseller and librarian buds. trotting around face to face and talking about my story of conquering chronic pain and overcoming my mental hurdles is VERY IMPORTANT to me. i say YES to these things whenever i can. (here i am with authors at CALIFORNIA INDEPENDENT BOOKSELLERS ALLIANCE conference. they are a WONDERFUL group and they proved love with their OWN invitation to chuck. this was such a moving event with so many amazing authors and stories. got very teared up during this photo)

ANYWAY BUCKAROOS i get the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION invite and say 'YES BUD LETS TROT'. we are then confirmed.

months pass. a few weeks ago i get a call from my manager and agent and publisher saying ‘the TLA have rescinded their invitation.’

turns out some things had been going on behind the scenes

at some point the TLA asked chucks INCREDIBLE HEROIC BAD ASS PUBLISHER if chuck would be okay with not wearing the mask, to which tor/nightfire/macmillan said ‘what the heck are you talking about of course chuck is going to wear his mask. this is how chuck presents himself’ (NOT EXACT QUOTE)

as you all know, my pink bag way is a VERY IMPORTANT SPACE. as an autistic buckaroo it is a boundary that allows me to express myself freely and relieve my chronic pain from neurotypically masking all day. i have talked about this for years, and it is why i consider my private identity a SACRED THING. it is literally a health issue.

fortunately THE PINK BAG is never really a problem when making appearances. i have spent years going on television shows, doing interviews, speaking at other conferences and conventions, hosting book events on tour, and even MEETING WITH LAWYERS in my pink face covering. it is always respected and that is very validating to my way.

when arriving anywhere i always take precautions. i always warn buckaroos ahead of time that there is a masked man coming. i always have someone go in ahead of me JUST IN CASE. again, there has never been an issue. at a big conference where i am a special guest there is ESPECIALLY not an issue because my face and bio are printed IN THE DANG PROGRAM

SOME FUN TIMES AT BIG EVENTS BELOW:

CHUCK ON TV SHOW NAME OF 'AT MIDNIGHT' BACK BEFORE I WROTE LOVE IS REAL ON MY HEAD:

well, there has never been an issue.... UNTIL NOW.

PART TWO: RESCINDED

a few days ago TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION suddenly messaged my publishers and said that chuck tingle is no longer invited. my invitation was rescinded. the reason given was that people could possibly be uncomfortable with my mask

right out of the gate i would like to say this: it is absolutely the right of the texas library association to disinvite someone from their conference. it is their event, after all, and they can ban anyone they would like, for any reason.

of course, that doesnt mean other folks HEARING THIS NEWS wont have their own opinions the TLA choices. if the TLA disinvites someone, their reasoning for doing this can be discussed and analyzed. whether or not they follow their own guidelines can be questioned, and certainly their kindness and tact can be considered

there are a few BIG POINTS to make regarding this choice from the TLA

first and foremost, i just gotta say buckaroos, it is incredibly rude to invite someone to be a guest speaker at your event, have them confirm and mark off their calendar and turn down other offers, then rescind their invitation. this is maybe the simplest of the points, but it is an important one.

second, (DEEP BREATH HERE WE GO BUCKAROOS) i personally do not think of my autism as a disability very often, but i also KNOW that despite these feelings it ABSOLUTELY IS. autism is important to be listed as a recognized disability because of the help some autistic buckaroos need regarding government programs and things like that. ALSO just because my neurodivergence has helped me in some ways (hyperfocus and a unique artistic sensibility for example). i personally need to step back and remember my battle with stress and chronic pain from having to neurotypically mask all the time. for as much as i love being autistic it has made some things very difficult.

in other words, i am perfectly capable of speaking and interacting with folks without this pink bag on my head BUT WHEN I AM IN THE CHUCK TINGLE SPACE I REQUIRE IT. i can ONLY use this space while covering my face. is not a want. it is a need. holding this boundary is more important than i can ever say. i will not, and can not, let these spaces cross.

TLA not letting an autistic author wear the face cover theyve set up to express their neurodivergence in a safe, healthy way is--for lack of a better term--NOT A GOOD LOOK.

i cannot fathom them disinviting another author for using a disability aid. i cannot fathom them saying that a buckaroo who hears better with a hearing device cannot use it during their panel because it would make others 'uncomfortable'.

but here we are.

PART THREE: WHAT DOES A BUCKAROO GOTTA DO TO GET BANNED AROUND HERE?

this is the TLAs official stance on disability issues according to their website:

when poking around on the TLA website i noticed a few other things. i noticed a previous guest speaker wearing a niqab, and i was left wondering if the religious significance is what make that okay but chuck tingle banned. that made sense until i looked deeper and saw mascot buckaroos dressed up on the exhibition floor, and saw some kind of spiderbud in a costume contest. nobody around them seemed to be all that scared. their invitations REMAINED INTACT.

it should be mentioned here that AT ONE POINT during the discussions an email was sent from TLA saying chuck is allowed to come and wear his mask in the exhibition halls and smaller panels, just not at any of the big PAID PANELS i was once supposed to participate on. this was a confusing offer, but their explanation was that people who paid for something should have the option to not see chucks 'scary neurodivergence aid'. i tried to wrap my head around WHY they would make a distinction. maybe the exchange of money (rather than time) causes some kind of philosophical adjustment that i just cant grasp?

i wonder, would the author who wears a niqab ALSO be banned from the paid panels? i hope not

my answers trotted up short until i investigated deeper and found this quick moment from one of the TLA help videos. while some events DO require additional buckaroo cash, it actually appears that THE ENTIRE CONFERENCE IS TICKETED AND COSTS MONEY.

at this point i realized there is clearly no actual official policy about not covering your face (other than one from a few years ago saying that you HAVE to cover your face), and the addition of 'money' is a red herring. these excuses make no sense

PART FOUR: CLOSE THOSE GATES

it appears that my neurodivergence is 'scary' enough to get me uninvited, REGARDLESS what their disability and mask policies may say

BUT WHY? why is chucks preferred physical presentation valued SO little by the TLA that a THEORETICAL complaint is worth more? is my neurodivergent expression so awful? is my own safety as a queer activist such an afterthought?

is a pink bag with the words 'love is real' scrawled across the front REALLY going to frighten someone when the posters and pamphlets on the way into in panel would have a photo of my masked face saying THIS IS LITERALLY WHO IS ABOUT TO APPEAR BEFORE YOU.

if THAT accommodation is too much, would it really be so difficult to have someone trot out beforehand and make an announcement? to say 'there is someone on this upcoming panel who needs a mask to express this part of himself, if this makes you uncomfortable then this panel might not be for you'.

and really, i have to heckin ask, is this physical expression of my raw inner truth really so hideous and frightening that fear of making someone uncomfortable is a REAL problem?

(a terrifying display of autism. apparently)

i cannot imagine what kind of precautions they need to take before a stage play featuring costumes and masks.

you MIGHT think chucks queerness and left leaning politics could be the issue with this organization, but they have had drag queens as past speakers (also featuring some GLORIOUS makeup and hair that covers almost all of their faces. VERY CURIOUS). regardless, the TLA do not seem like a conservative bunch.

if you are bisexual or an autistic person who is good at 'passing' you probably already know where this is headed, your dang spiderbuckaroo senses are tingling at FULL ALERT. i will say i do not KNOW the real reason why i was uninvited, and i do not have enough information to make any concrete statement of the real answer. there is only evidence that masks have been fine at TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION events in the past, but not much else to go on.

so the FACTS part of our discussion ends there, but i think it opens us up to talk about some very important feelings that bisexual and autistic buckaroos know well.

THIS is where we take a unfortunate, hurtful moment and turn it into a discussion. this is where we prove love is real.

as someone who is constantly doubted and put through purity tests because of my unique way, we are pushing up against a subject i know well. thats right buckaroos: we are talking GATEKEEPING

AGAIN, i do not know if this is the answer, but someone in my position might be VERY STRONGLY INCLINED TO THINK that a few well-meaning left leaning buckaroos think i am a joke and that this is a character, and that there is something problematic about my work because i am not really a real person.

any upstanding left leaning organization would OF COURSE allow a mask for a neurodivergent buckaroo with an unusual visual presentation, an autistic buckaroo who conquered his chronic pain ONLY by creating this important space... but what about a FAKE autistic buckaroo?

any upstanding left leaning organization would OF COURSE allow a mask for a queer LGBTQ activist standing up for gay and trans rights against a torrent of scoundrels hunting for his legal identity. its a matter of safety... but what about a FAKE queer activist?

let me be very clear for the 100th time: i am a real person. this is not a joke. i am not playing a character. i am really autistic and bisexual. tinglers are sincere and they are not ‘so bad theyre good’. they are just good. camp damascus is not ‘my first serious book’ because my queer erotica is serious. my art is important and real.

when people tell me to unmask they often do not know WHY they want it, and of course one very good reason is innocent curiosity. but there are SOME cases where i start to get THAT feeling--that tingle all of us ‘passing’ buckaroos get when we can sense the real intent behind the poking and prodding. that is the feeling of stumbling into a gatekeepers crosshairs.

if i was to take off my pink bag, what about my face would you analyze to tell if i was REALLY queer. my eye color? my ear shape? if you learned my legal name, would you see if it sounded autistic? is my voice neurodivergent enough?

or is all of that utterly absurd? i am curious what the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION thinks.

PART FIVE: GENDERED

this will be the shortest of parts, but it has to be said. i have a very complex relationship with gender, as written about at length here and here. i understand these things can be difficult to parse for some, but i ask that you trust me when i say that the ONLY reason i have been able to talk about my gender and sexuality and learn these things about myself is because of this pink bag. this outward appearance is a direct expression and reflection of my gender journey.

if the texas library association does not care about my appearance as an expression of my autism, then i cant imagine them giving a dang about it as an expression of my gender and queerness. that being said, it is personally very important to me and i think it should be mentioned

PART SIX: SO YOU WANT TO REMOVE AN AUTISTIC QUEER AUTHOR FROM YOUR EVENT BECAUSE PEOPLE MIGHT FIND THEIR DIFFERENCES SCARY

there is a question to be asked here: how could the TLA have done this correctly?

i have one very big piece of advice i would like to shout from the rooftops. please, for the love of sweet barbara, DO ENOUGH RESEARCH to know if this appearance will be a problem and, IF SO, dont extend an invitation in the first place. unique buckaroos with different presentations are constantly left in this place of limbo because we are bombarded with careless actions like those of the TLA. before you consider extending a branch to an artist who might need more accommodations than usual, think to yourself 'CAN WE MAKE THESE ACCOMMODATIONS?'

putting all of this on the shoulders of a single 'buckaroo with a difference' is exhausting. as the TLA has shown, we currently live on a timeline where a buckaroo like myself never really knows if an invite is SOLID without doing a deep dive history lesson on how often a group discriminates and against who.

i did not want to spend my whole family holiday worrying whether or not i should say something publicly or just lie down and shut my dang mouth. i had to consider HOW i should say it. i had to worry whether or not its worth standing up for myself in the face of the largest state library association in the country. i think buckaroos with differences are with me when i say: WE ARE SICK OF HAVING TO DO THIS WORK TO COVER FOR THE POOR BEHAVIOR OF LARGE ORGANIZATIONS WHO TREAT US BADLY

another option would just be to use kindness and common sense and happily accommodate artists with unique presentations to your conventions

PART SEVEN: LOVE IS STILL REAL

i would like to close by saying THANK YOU to my publisher nightfire and editor kelly for standing up for me. they immediately stood firm and had my back. they are the real dang deal. THANK YOU to my management and agent buds dongwon and gino for trotting along beside me. THANK YOU to the folks at the texas library association who initially invited chuck with goodness in their heart and then likely got bowled over by someone else, and maybe even got knocked to the side by a big closing gate.

i hope there are librarians in texas who are still interested in carrying BURY YOUR GAYS when it comes out (which is ironically about someone who creates a space through art to express their queerness where they cant otherwise). libraries prove love is real and what they do IS SO IMPORTANT. it was SO IMPORTANT TO ME as a young buckaroo and i cannot thank you enough. i am not sure if me writing all of this will hurt my sales in some way, but this opportunity to speak about the reality of disability awareness and queer gatekeeping is too important to stay silent. (if you have not already preordered BURY YOUR GAYS then give it a preorder to make up for some texas library losses i guess.)

which leads me to my final thank you. THANK YOU to the buckaroos reading this. yes YOU. i am in the position to stand up and speak my mind against scoundrel forces ONLY because i have the might of you buckaroos by my side. the buckaroo trot is ALL OF OUR TROT and we are ALL HERE TO PROVE LOVE. i cannot tell you how much i appreciate the way you have created a space for me to express these important parts of myself. you have seen this pink mask over my face and saying YES, I ACCEPT YOU, you have literally saved my life. for that i am so thankful.

if you are UPSET by what youve read here, then turn it into something positive. you can support autistic creators, or make a donation to the AUTISTIC SELF ADVOCACY NETWORK

and besides WHO IS REALLY MISSING OUT? this is what it looks like when you invite the worlds greatest author chuck tingle to your event and treat their identity as valid. WE HAVE A DANG GOOD TIME

KEEP TROTTING INTO THE FUTURE. KEEP KICKING DOWN GATES WHEREVER THEY MAY BE. KEEP PROVING LOVE IS REAL AND PROVING IT TOGETHER. lets go buckaroos - chuck

UPDATE AN HOUR AFTER POSTING:

true buckaroo TJ KLUNE was set to be another author on panel chuck was removed from and has informed me he has now chosen to decline his invitation in support and solidarity with chuck. i am so deeply moved by this. thank you from bottom of heart buckaroo

to be very clear TJ has a huge platform and DOES NOT NEED TO DO THIS. these conferences are great for book sales and he is taking a hit out of pure solidarity. this is queer buckaroos standing up for eachother. i am floored by this kindness and love

please consider checking out his books if they are not already covering your dang bookshelf. chuck blurbed IN THE LIVES OF PUPPETS and i was blown away i heckin loved it

MOST RECENT UPDATE:

here is more

[only-3-braincells]

“Red” Vs “Green” — Alastor’s Duo Stitches & Power Sets: 

A Hazbin Hotel Theory/Analysis with Pics & Gifs.

[3,612]Words

Isn't it interesting how some of the Radio Demon’s abilities are Red-Coded, while others are Green? Isn't it also fascinating how certain abilities change his eye colour and others don't? Well, guess what? I’ve noticed a pattern. And if you didn’t know either happened, guess what? I’m going to open your eyes.

Hi, I'm almost fully convinced at the possibility of Alastor having two power sets. I am calling them “Red” and “Green” in accordance with the colour of his eyes, Stitches, and abilities at the time of use.  (Typically they’re used together.)

I finally recognised the other day that Alastor has two sets of Stitches: Red and Green. Then that furthered to the realisation that Alastor, this whole time, had two power sets and not just one. I came up with this theory in a few hours, and have spent days trying, googling and researching, hoping to find others who have noticed what I picked up on, but I haven’t seen anyone else mention anything. So please, if you've seen someone else comment on stuff in here, let me know so I can read further!!

Disclaimer: I have stayed away from all leaks and spoilers regarding season 2, and therefore have written this without any additional information. This is just everything from the show we’ve been shown so far. I DO NOT want to hear about what the leaks say, thank you. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Tl;dr

What I'm calling his “Red Powers” are whenever his eyes turn Black, or the Red “X” stitch appears on his forehead. Coincidently, this is whenever he goes into “Jumbo” Al's form, using his filter to glitch his surroundings, or just act threatening. I'm assuming these powers were the ones he was originally given in his deal, perhaps in exchange for his soul (accidentally or not). Also, his Shadow and Microphone are related to his Red Powers. These powers AREN'T stored in his microphone, more or less a part of himself, like other overlords and their powers. What I'm calling his “Green Powers” are literally whenever he uses or does something involving the said colour. Including his tentacles/tendrils, ability to summon and disperse things, his ability to make soul deals, or powerful deals in general, and much more. I'm convinced these powers are what Alastor is actively building and bettering for himself, possibly as an escape route from the deal that got him his Red Powers in the first place. His Green Powers ARE stored in his microphone, and he needs to be physically touching it to use them. He can use both Power Sets at the same time; however, the two sets of Stitches haven't yet appeared together; it’s always one or the other. 

You can also read the very bottom for my list of assumptions.

Okay, getting into it.

“Red” Vs “Green”

Here is what I'm referring to with each:

Alastor's “Red Powers” are what he was given by whomever he made this “Deal” with, referenced in episode 8.

Maybe Alastor traded his soul for his Red Powers (accidental or not) judging from the show’s use of Black Eyes meaning such? Pieced together with his lyrics of “The constraints of my deal surely have a backdoor,” in the finale.

Alastor's “Green Powers” are abilities he is actively making for himself, they appear much stronger, and he seems to use them more than his “Red” abilities. 

Maybe creating and bettering his Green Powers is an act of escape from his deal? The quote: “I'm hungry for freedom like never before,” Is interesting since this man, and the entire show, never mentioned anything about freedom.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Abilities from each, or the list I have picked up on:

Belonging to Red:

Red-Radio-Dials-on-Black Eyes

Red Stitches & the forehead “X”

His Shadow 

His ability to teleport (using the Shadow)

Jumbo Al’s form

His microphone (eye glows Red.)

Belonging to Green:

Eyes are normal Red-on-Red or Green-Radio-Dials-on-Red.

Green Stitches

His ability to own souls (husk’s chain is Green)

His ability to do deals (Charlie's deal)

His ability to summon & make things disappear.

His tentacles/tendrils.

The shield over the hotel in the battle

These are simply sorted judging on the two colours his powers and Stitches seem to come in, or depending on the colour of his eyes at the time.

He can use both sets of powers together. That is proven throughout the show. There are also times when he is using just one instead of the other (Will explain further in “Proof of Two Power Sets: Using Both Together Vs Just One.”)

His Shadow is an intriguing anomaly, while I am putting it in his “Red Powers,” I don't think it's an actual power of his, more of a creature that's tied to him. Alastor can use his “Green Powers” to disperse it, signifying just how powerful these Green Abilities are.

Maybe his Shadow isn’t a power ability as such, but a creature tied to him because of how he got his Red Powers in a “Deal?”

I'm on the fence with these guys. Their eyes are Red, but they also have a Green glow in episode 8.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Proof of Two Power Sets: The Stitches

Red: The Red Stitches are very minimal, being just at the corner of his mouth and an “X” on his forehead. While the Red forehead “X” is a constant sight, the corner Stitches are only seen in the pilot and at the end of Stayed Gone.

Green: Interestingly, there are more. Thus, under this assumption that anything Green is what Alastor is making for himself, in classic Al style, he's been given something he doesn't like (his soul being owned), therefore, is pridefully, egotistically working with what he has. Overriding and improving to benefit his goals instead, to the point where he won't need the others anymore. Very “Al,” if you ask me.

So far, the Green Stitches have only been seen once, in the deal made with Charlie.

Maybe the Green Stitches only appear in deals?

There was no Red “X” on his forehead when the Green Stitches appeared. Likewise, the Green Stitches have also never been shown when the Red is present. 

Maybe the two colours of Stitches cannot coincide, it’s always one or the other?

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Proof of Two Power Sets: His Eyes.

His Red Powers always trigger his Black Eyes with Red-Radio-Dials. Always. 

If there's a scene with his eyes going Black, he is using his Red Powers.

His Green Powers do not change the colour of his eyes. (The only exception so far is his deal with Charlie. Will explain further in This Section.)

Proof? 

At the start of his fight with Adam, his eyes remained normal (Red-on-Red) whilst he fought back with just his tentacle/tendrils. However, once Alastor jumped and taunts: “You’re sloppy,” was when his Black Eyes appeared. Which, he, in fact, turns into Jumbo Al at that moment, only furthering my theory of two power sets at play — Where only one changes his eye colour, and “Jumbo” Al is part of it (Will explain further in “Proof of Two Power Sets: Ability colours.”)

His eyes are also seen not changing when making that deal with Vaggie, summoning or dispersing things, and setting up the shield in the final battle. Never did his eyes change.

If his eyes ever change to Black whilst using his tentacles/tendrils, that is because Jumbo Al is involved.

Expanding further on the shield: Yes, it does have a strong Red appearance, but it also has a Green glow. Furthermore, it sprouted axe-wielding tentacles/tendrils — all parts of this “Green Power” and not “Red’s” (Will explain further in “Proof of Two Power Sets: Ability colours.”)

The only exception to this “Eyes don’t change in Green Powers” rule, is in his deal with Charlie:

Look at his eyes. Ignore the blinding new Stitches, or the glowing Green Powers behind him — or the severe lack of Red anywhere — his eyes are entirely different. They are not Black-With-Red-Radio-Dials like expected and shown throughout the show, they are Red-With-Green-Radio-Dials. Never seen before, or shown again (for now). If he had just one power set, why weren’t his eyes the usual Red-on-Black?

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Proof of Two Power Sets: Ability Colours.

Red:

Following the assumption that whenever Alastor's eyes turn Black, he's using his Red Powers; that's all the times “Jumbo” Alastor appears, or when he’s either threatening, fighting, or when he's using his glitching filter.

Green:

The reason I'm calling them his “Green” Powers is because of their literal colour. His Green Abilities seem more dangerous and severe. Starting with the mass of Stitches he has, to how Green corrupted the hotel in Charlie's deal, but also the weaponised tentacles/tendrils he uses in fights.

Addressing the Neon:

I’ll admit, I am a bit on the fence with the neon colour changing that he does. Definitely not ignoring it, especially since it has made two appearances: In Hell’s Greatest Dad and the Pilot. I’m slightly certain it’s a part of his Green Powers, due to two factors: 1. The literal colour and 2:

Now where have I seen eyes so similar to that?

Oh yeah, his deal with Charlie, (As mentioned in “Proof of Two Power Sets: His Eyes.”)

The reason I am sceptical over it is that his normal eyes (red-on-red but without radio dials) are also the same colours in this neon, so it’s challenging to tell what true colours they are under the filter.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Proof of Two Power Sets: Using Both Together Vs Just One.

I’ll make this short, Alastor can use both power sets at the same time. In fact, throughout the show, they're used in this way — together — almost more often than just one at a time. (Though, he does use “Green Powers” more by themselves than “Red’s.”)

Using Them At The Same Time; Most Notable Example:

Jumbo Al with tentacles/tendrils.

Jumbo Al with the tentacles/tendrils is the most noticeable example of using both at the same time. Considering that his Red Powers are whenever his eyes change to Black, and his Green ones are any ability coloured Green, Jumbo Al always causes the Black Eyes and typically has the Green tendrils. Which, to me, indicates confident proof that Alastor can use both power sets at the same time. 

One At A Time; Most Noticeable Example Of Each:

As said in “Proof of Two Power Sets: His eyes,” it was interesting how Al was using an ability (his tendrils/tentacles) without his eyes going Black, thus hinting to a duo power set. But there's more, there are in fact two notable moments in the show where Al is only using one power set at a time.

Red: The end of Stayed Gone. 

I'm fully convinced this is him using only his Red Powers. The threatening Jumbo Al, the Blackened-out eyes, the Red Stitches, and the lack of colour Green Anywhere, all hit it home for me. Additionally, there's another crucial factor I've picked up that has me believing this is just his Red Powers (Will explain further in “And Finally… That Damn Microphone Scene.”) Something my days worth of googling haven’t found anyone connecting the dots yet.

Green: His deal with Charlie. 

I always thought there was something missing on Al in this scene. Turns out I was looking for a Red “X” on his forehead. In fact, there is a severe lack of Red anywhere in the room, and the mentioned-before change of eyes. This is wholly different from normal Al using an ability where his eyes are supposed to change to Black.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

The Importance of The Microphone

Broadcasting.

This is very difficult to explain in the “Red” Vs “Green” theory because it’s complicated to interpret the truth from what we’ve seen in the show so far. 

Alastor uses his microphone — a device for announcing — to broadcast his victim’s screams and himself. But interestingly, in accordance with the colour schemes, it’s shown to perhaps use both powers to do so. So, here is what I’ve narrowed it down to. 

Red: Only broadcasts himself, as shown in Stayed Gone.

Green: Broadcasts the screams of his victims.

Maybe Alastor’s microphone was given to him in his deal for his Red Powers rather than him making it himself, for him to broadcast his own voice and make a platform for himself, as shown in Stayed Gone?

Maybe Alastor, using the mic he was given, then worked with his green powers to record, store and broadcast the screams of his victims, as per the colour schemes in Mimzy’s story?

The reason I’m very uncertain if this is true is simple: Angel, Charlie & Vaggie’s pilot outfits all made an appearance when the show touched on their past. However, Alastor’s backstory by Mimzy does not have him in his pilot clothes, representing, to me, symbolic hints that Mimzy is an unreliable narrator; therefore to be cautious when believing her tale.

Maybe we cannot trust Mimzy’s take on how Alastor grew to power due to evidence of her being an unreliable narrator? Thusly, we cannot completely believe how Alastor came to power or what coloured power he uses to broadcast.

His Powers.

Alastor’s powers are stored in his microphone and therefore, he needs to be touching it for them to work. That is a known fact. He refuses to let go of it, regardless of what form he is using or what he is doing. 

I cannot stress enough that Alastor needs to be physically touching his undamaged mic for his powers to work.

Most notably, Jumbo Al never let go of his tiny microphone while slaughtering the loan sharks for Mimzy in episode 5. That detail encompasses the idea that his powers are inside his mic, as though he can’t let go of it, or his powers will disappear. 

Well, his Green Powers, at least…

I repeat, only his Green Powers are inside that microphone. 

The reason he cannot let go is that his Green Abilities — the ones he actually uses to kill — will disappear. There is no scene in the show where Alastor let go of his mic when using his Green Powers. Likewise, there is a multitude of proof that I have found to show Alastor has other powers — his “red” ones — outside his microphone and therefore, the mic’s condition doesn’t matter (Will explain further in “The Microphone Is Broken, Now What?”) Including something that debunked the idea of Alastor needing contact with his mic for all his powers early in the show. (Will explain further in “And Finally… That Damn Microphone Scene.”)

Maybe only his Green Powers are inside his microphone, they require him to have physical contact with the mic to use?

Maybe his Red Powers do not require physical contact with the mic, since they are not in it?

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

The Microphone Is Broken, Now What?

Alastor has no Green Abilities, but his Red Powers are still intact. What happened before and after he got hit-down proves this.

To understand it fully, here's the chronological order of the fight’s final moments:

This is the frame of Alastor before Adam slashed him and his microphone. There are no Black Eyes, only tentacles/tendrils, which, if you've been following, means he was only using his Green Powers. And after the microphone broke, there was nothing.

Why am I pointing this out? Well, I thought it was an interesting choice, and I'm heavily wondering about its intention. Alastor’s eyes were, in fact, Black leading up to that pose, but then they suddenly weren’t. This was no animation accident, in studios and shows like this, every little detail is planned out with a reason, so I refuse to believe it was unintentional. 

Instead, I speculate: What if there had been a Jumbo Al with Black Eyes in that frame? To me, there are two ways of it going: he loses his tentacles/tendrils, but his eyes are still Black, or he loses his Black Eyes with them. The latter would have completely destroyed my running theory that his Red Powers weren't in his microphone, and that would’ve sent me into a spiral. Likewise, I wonder if the first option of keeping them would have been too obvious, and so, would that be why the animators didn't?

That aside, the microphone is broken, all his Green Powers are gone, but his Red ones — that aren't in the microphone, and therefore, unaffected — are still there. 

Proof:

This is why I believe his Shadow is part of his Red Powers (that, and it’s glowing Red eyes in some scenes.) If his Shadow is connected to what I've been calling his “Green Powers,” it should not still be there. And yet, it is. To me, this is just evidence of two powers, and while the Greens are out of commission, his Red Powers are living on.

But there’s more proof without the Shadow.

What was the first thing Alastor did after being hit down?

He flashed us the Black Eyes.

This, to me, is the show screaming the hint to us, that certain powers — his Red abilities — are still very much active. Because of this, I don't believe his Red Powers have a place they're stored, they're just a part of him, the same as how other overlords’ powers are just a part of them.

Maybe his Red Powers have no place they're stored, but are a part of Alastor?

Maybe his Red Powers are still there; however, they could be weakened along with the rest of him?

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

And Finally… That Damn Microphone Scene.

Before I go into the scene that kept me up a few hours of a night, I want to reiterate what I’ve already went over:

Alastor has two power sets.

He can use both powers at the same time.

His Green Abilities are stored in his microphone.

Alastor needs to have physical contact with his mic in order for his Green Powers to work.

The microphone destroyed means he does not have his Green Powers post battle.

His Red Abilities are not stored in his microphone

Since his Red abilities are not in the mic, they are not affected by the mic’s damage, more likely affected by his physical damage, instead.

And to bring in the new concept: Since his Red abilities are not in the mic, he never needed to physically touch the microphone to use them.

Now… there was no way of knowing that what I'm calling his “Red Powers” could be used without his microphone in hand, before it broke… right? 

Except, there freaking was!!!

Picture this, a few hours after my discovery of a possible duo power set, I’m in bed about to close my eyes for the night, when my brain decided to remind me of an iconic scene. Needless to say, I remained awake for a few more hours. 

I’ve been referencing a detail that no one has (to what my hours and days of googling have led me to) mentioned or brought up before. Something crucial I only picked up later on, something to help prove two power sets for good, and, well, it’s all in the microphone. 

“Alastor needs his mic for his powers,” was a major detail the fandom knew. He refuses to let go of it, regardless of what he’s doing or his form.

I’m about to prove this is only partially true. His Green Powers, yes, they require physical contact with the mic to use, but the Red ones don't.  For, there is a debunker scene from the very start, first quarter of the show, showing Al not touching his microphone and using only his Red Powers.

Stayed gone. 

(I asked you to keep it in your memory, I wonder if you managed to.) At the very end, when Alastor is saying: “I'm Gonna make you wish that I'd stayed gone. Tune on in…” etc. Especially “Tune on in” and onwards, look what he does.

He puts the microphone down. 

“Alastor needs his mic for his powers.”

And yet, he put it down and proceeded to become Jumbo Al in this scene. The scene that I labelled back in “Proof of Two Power Sets: Using Both Together Vs Just One” as the most notable place where he only used his Red Powers. His Red Powers that I'm fully suggesting aren't stored in his microphone; therefore, he doesn't need to touch it.

As I said before, this is a proper studio, everything is deliberately animated the way it is for a reason. And that scene had such emphasis on his hand letting go, they were just shoving it in our face. They could've just had him place it down on the side in the previous frame. But they didn't, and now I'm heavily convinced it was a massive hint from the start.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

The End/Season 2; What's Next?

Therefore, I'm saying his Green Powers are broken (perhaps not gone completely) but Al's Red Powers are still at the very least active. 

Alastor is now stuck with the powers he was given in the first place; all the ones he made by himself are gone. All his work may be erased and his stuck back with the ones he didn't like in the first place.

Considering that Season 2 will be all about backstories. I wonder if this theory is taking the right path towards it.

Maybe Season 2 will dive into how Alastor got his duo power sets, or just one, since it will be about backstories?

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

PS. Do not ask me why this lighting is here. I do not know. 

Maybe the Green lighting in the Radio tower is hinting for a Green Power comeback?

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

My List of Assumptions: “Maybe’s”

Maybe Alastor traded his soul for his Red Powers (accidental or not) judging from the show’s use of Black Eyes meaning such? Pieced together with his lyrics of “The constraints of my deal surely have a backdoor,” in the finale.

Maybe creating and bettering his Green Powers is an act of escape from his deal? The quote: “I'm hungry for freedom like never before,” Is interesting since this man, and the entire show, never mentioned anything about freedom.

Maybe his Shadow isn’t a power ability as such, but a creature tied to him because of how he got his Red Powers in a “Deal?”

Maybe the Green Stitches only appear in deals?

Maybe the two colours of Stitches cannot coincide, it’s always one or the other?

Maybe Alastor’s microphone was given to him in his deal for his Red Powers rather than him making it himself, for him to broadcast his own voice and make a platform for himself, as shown in Stayed Gone?

Maybe Alastor, using the mic he was given, then worked with his green powers to record, store and broadcast the screams of his victims, as per the colour schemes in Mimzy’s story?

Maybe we cannot trust Mimzy’s take on how Alastor grew to power due to evidence of her being an unreliable narrator? Thusly, we cannot completely believe how Alastor came to power or what coloured power he uses to broadcast.

Maybe only his Green Powers are inside his microphone, they need him to have physical contact with the mic to use?

Maybe his Red Powers do not require physical contact with the mic, since they are not in it.

Maybe his Red Powers have no place they're stored, but are a part of Alastor?

Maybe his Red Powers are still there; however, they could be weakened along with the rest of him?

Maybe season 2 will dive into how Alastor got his duo power sets, or just one, since it will be about backstories?

Maybe the Green lighting in the Radio tower is hinting for a Green Power comeback?

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Once again, if you have seen someone else talking about something in here, please let me know! So I can reference them too!! I spent days googling, hoping someone else picked up this stuff, but it all slipped under my radar.

Disclaimer: And again, I have stayed far away from leaks and spoilers of this show and want to keep it that way. So please, do not mention the leaks even if it’s relevant. Let me discover the knowledge of this being right or wrong on my own when I watch season 2.  

[savagewildnerness]

Let’s talk about truth, lies, morals and goodness in The Vampire Chronicles, especially with respect to Lestat and Louis.

OK, all of this is going to be off the top of my head, but chat around Lestat smacking Nicolas into a wall got me thinking on a topic that’s going to be a hot topic during season 3, particularly given the TV show IWTV so far has been all about “memory is the monster.”

First of all, I want to reiterate that Rolin has said that we’re done with that theme now.  However, I just know that whatever happens in S3, some things are going to be met with “Well I think/know Lestat is lying” in some corners.   And I am absolutely not saying Lestat always tells the truth.  Lestat himself says things such as that he only lies to those he loves and that he sometimes lies to himself. There are moments in the story where I don't believe Lestat (a controversial one being that I believe the book NOLA reunion is close to Louis' account and it is Lestat who denies it as his psyche cannot accept how Louis abandoned Lestat to what Louis thought was a mortal death here. I know many disagree with me. And as I see it, it is irrelevant to the TV show as for me the reasons Lestat has for denying this encounter do not exist on the TV show so it happened, Lestat won't deny it and we can be happy that the beauty of that scene in S2E8 is real with no needed debate.)

Anyway... the whole hitting Nicolas thing today indicates one area Lestat never lies about.  When Lestat has done something bad, he’s telling us.  He’s always telling us.  He’s never trying to hide it.  And depending on how much you like him or don’t, we as readers/listeners may or may not excuse different things he does, to different degrees.  And Lestat is 100% of the time asking us to do just that.  Because Lestat is deeply terrified he is evil.  He knows he has done evil things and bad things and that he has hurt not just strangers as his monster-self, but also humans and vampires he loves.  And so he shares when he hurts someone.  And in sharing, he is pleading with us “I did this.  Do you love me now?”  Lestat is never going to lie about that kind of thing, because he desperately needs literally any random stranger on the street to (ideally) say… “I see what you are, in fullness and I love you anyway.  You are worthy of love.  You can be good.”

Oooooh… I’m going to find Lestat’s own quote on the matter from The Vampire Lestat:  “By the time we left Italy I was playing dangerous little games with mortals. I'd see a man, or a woman -- a human being who looked perfect to me spiritually --  and I would follow the human about. Maybe for a week I'd do this, then a month, sometimes even longer than that. I'd fall in love with the being. I'd imagine friendship, conversation, intimacy that we could never have. In some magical and imaginary moment I would say: "But you see what I am," and this human being, in supreme spiritual understanding, would say: "Yes, I see. I understand." Nonsense, really. Very like the fairy tale where the princess gives her selfless love to the prince who is enchanted and he is himself again and the monster no more. Only in this dark fairy tale I would pass right into my mortal lover. We would become one being, and I would be flesh and blood again. Lovely idea, that.”

We, as ‘the reader’ literally would be unable to tell Lestat what he so desperately needs to hear if Lestat lied about or minimised the bad things he does or his negative actions.  He himself feels varying levels of guilt for different things.  But he tells us what he does that is bad. Obviously this was inspired by discussion of Lestat hitting Nicki. But he was provoked into that and while he describes that Nicolas can then take the moral high ground, just as he could with The Children of Darkness in that moment... because Nicki achieved what he wanted here... Lestat tells us way worse things he does than this: murder of the most innocent, rape of innocent humans, to his closest mortal friend... he runs the gamut and he tells us every thing he does. Which is not to minimise that Lestat does harm Nicolas. That is a thing that happened. Even though obviously vampires recover quickly from physical injury.

Lestat does lie though.  Lestat, the endurer was taught as a child that when he has big feelings, they are *too much*... Although he expresses his emotion readily, even by the person who loved him most of all, Gabrielle (who does validate some of Lestat's feelings and experience), he is taught - do not sit in your feelings. Especially do not dwell in existential feelings. Move away from enduring existential pain. Move into action.  Be practical.  Fight.  You are a fighter.  You will endure.  You are strong. 

And as such, Lestat lies when he feels utterly broken.  We see Lestat as an optimist so thoroughly, not because Lestat is internally 100% optimist, rather because he chooses to be an optimist.  Internally, Lestat is not as much an optimist as he appears to others.  We ought to know as we hear his existential crises all the time, from when he was a child. We know him from the inside out.  And so Lestat lies when he feels suicidal.  He minimises his own pain. He minimises psychological damage done unto him. 

Which is a distinction - Lestat does not minimise his emotion!  He’s happy to tell us he cries and of his joy and of the whole gamut of big and human expression.  But he minimises his pain. When he is psychologically damaged, it often isn’t even that he wants to lie.  It’s that he cannot allow that of himself and so he isn’t fully aware of it in himself. And Lestat does not minimise the physical or psychological pain he does unto others. He is well aware of it. And we don't need to deny that he does cause others pain as well, as of course he does. To love is to harm as well as to heal. Show me the person who has never hurt someone they loved (emotionally/psychologically. I don't mean physically) and I'll show you a true liar....!

I just want to put these thoughts out there.  Because when we get into season 3, I want it to be very clear exactly when and why Lestat might not tell the full truth. (Obviously with the concession that TV Lestat is his own being, but I feel like surely he'll retain his core self???)

Things are very different for Louis.  There’s a similarity, as Louis too is deeply terrified of not being good.  But unlike Lestat who presents every aspect of himself and says “Here is all I am.  See me.  Can you still love me?” Louis is so afraid of what he might be that he’s scared to look deeply inside himself in case he were to look inside himself and find true horror he could not cope with.  Of course Louis has been brought up with religion in a way where he believes that were he to look inside himself and find terrible enough things, God and he himself would know and Louis himself then would be unable to endure.  Louis doesn’t need that external validation.  He knows himself.

Because Louis is afraid to look deeply within himself, he is also afraid to look deeply within others.  Which is an interesting dichotomy as of course Louis is naturally empathetic and sensitive and thoughtful.  But for example in the book IWTV he makes a lot of assumptions about Lestat without thinking about Lestat’s internal experience at all.  And he’s happy to make those assumptions as if fact as he cannot bear to delve deeply and understand himself, let alone Lestat.  Louis needs to be good just as Lestat does, but Louis imposes external moral rules upon himself so he doesn’t have to think more deeply about who he is and can just feel good if he follows his rules (much like his religion imposes its rules.). This means that when we hear things that aren’t entirely true from Louis, they often seem more like lies.  But they’re never intentional lies.  And they’re often not even misremembering - they’re simply Louis afraid to look at the all of himself.  And happily, Louis has a beautiful soul, and so once he has been able to accept himself (and Louis is aware on some level of this aspect in himself by the time he gives his first interview; aware of his fears of acknowledging all of himself - so his journey has begun even then) he is deeply empathetic and can offer this to Lestat.

And happily, at the end of S2, Louis has reached this place of accepting and understanding himself. Which is much happier than the books, where it takes him longer to truly get there.

We can look at many other characters too - some who lie to themselves; some who fail to understand aspects of themselves; some who are literally incapable of a lie, sometimes to their own detriment or destruction, so it is absolutely not always a good thing.  Some who cannot know their self fully.  All who are damaged in some way.

I don’t know where I’m going with this now.  But I guess I just wanted to open a conversation about truth and lies and goodness and evil…?

I hope this may spark some more articulate thoughts in someone else…?

And obviously, all only just as I see things/my truth.

And I guess I'm also saying that how we recount events depends on our experience of them, yes. But humans lose much to memory in a way vampires do not. For good and for bad. To not remember everything protects us, as mortals. So is it any surprise that immortals, with vampiric-level memory, as all other senses, in order to endure eternity have to not look too deeply in some areas. Or else they simply couldn't go on...

OK, shut up me! But I am curious to hear anyone's thoughts here..???

[ninyard]

nin reads the bonus chapters pt. 2 (TRK Edition)

Betsy's chapter (oh god this is basically going to be me quoting the whole thing)

Andrew pointed at him and turned a scandalized look on Betsy. "Working theory: Coach is allergic to sugar!" "How ghastly," Betsy said.

them! him looking at her like that. the banter between them. i love him i love her their dynamic is just my favourite thing ever pls

She half-expected him to sit as far from her as he could, but he took the chair at her side and spun his mug in lazy circles on the table.

sobbing. this is so soft

Andrew laughed and gave an exaggerated shrug, only to wince and reach for his bandaged temple. "Ouch," he complained cheerily, a second before digging his fingers hard into the gauze and tape. Betsy tapped the table in front of him in warning. He sighed like her request for restraint was unbearable but held onto the chair between his knees instead.

1) ouch. i feel ill 2) CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE TAPPING TO STOP HIM HURTING HIMSELF!!!!! CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW WE NEVER REALLY SEE ANDREW AS SOMEONE WHO HURTS HIMSELF BUT IN THIS CHAPTER WE DO?? IS IT BECAUSE HE CAN LET HIS GUARD DOWN IN FRONT OF HER?? IS IT SOMETHING SHE HAS TO STOP OFTEN??? PUKING 3) him holding onto the chair is so cute

Betsy kept her tone gentle like it would somehow make her next question less terrible: "Did you let them run a kit, Andrew?" "No choice, Bee." Andrew said, with a put-upon sigh.

PUKE

Betsy was less interested in his aggrieved front than she was in what his hands were doing: Andrew was dragging a thumb up and down his left forearm is short, agitated jerks. The force behind it would have torn skin if his sleeves weren't there to take the brunt of it. Betsy tapped the table again, and Andrew obediently reached for his mug with both hands.

PUKE_2

"You might not have noticed, but he and I look a lot alike! They'll look at him and see me, and we both know how little they think of me. Have to stack the deck in his favor somehow."

this hurts so badly. him doing the kit for aaron. him feeling like aaron's odds at getting out of this are fucked up because of him. him feeling like he has to do everything he can to fix this for aaron. PUKE_3

"I know how invasive a procedure it can be, especially on the heels of such violence." And there it was at last: A subtle chink in the armor his withdrawal was tearing away from him. In a year and a half of treating Andrew, she'd never seen him so still. [...] If she was kinder, she would leave it at that, but Andrew would react worse to being coddled than he would to what she needed to say.

PUKE_4 also,,, am i allowed to say how im obsessed with how accurate i've managed to get my fic about andrew and bee. like that last line hellooooo

"I don't imagine you allowed it last time." [...] How Andrew reacted - how much he would admit to, how much he would trust her in the wake of such trauma - was too important. "Oh, Bee," Andrew said, with a laugh she didn't at all believe. "You assume they were stupid enough to get caught."

why did she write this. was it specifically to hurt me because she won. it worked. also the fact that andrew feels comfortable enough around david to have this conversation with him in the room makes me feel insane

"Are you and Neil not getting along?" Betsy asked. David sent her a look of pained incredulity

he's like girl please don't tell me you ALSO haven't noticed. he literally can't believe he's the only one that's picked up on it. he's like youre his THERAPIST what do u mean are they not getting along

okay this next part i literally have so many thoughts i meant it when i said i was basically going to put this whole chapter here

"We have spent too much time together if you are so reckless," Andrew said, figeting with the bandages on his face again. "Lot of eyes, Bee, so many eyes. I do not think they will care about insomnia when they finally have the chance to nail us to the wall. Better safe than sorry, yes? They cannot keep him. I will not let them."

god once again the way he want to do everything he can to get aaron out of this whole situation. and just... him knowing how many people are going to be looking at him and reading him and everything just. hguhsudfusdfkgsd

Betsy put a finger to the tape at his cheekbone in silent questioning but waited until Andrew dropped his hand before trying to peel the gauze up. She sucked in a slow breath through gritted teeth at the stitches and bruises along his temple.

so gentle. so much trust and care and i feel SICK

"I didn't even get to keep it," Andrew complained. "How stingy. I've never tried brandy."

not him saying this about the bottle Drake hit him with. ANDREW

"You have done astoundigly well despite life's every attempt to crush you. I'm sorry," She said, trying and failing to catch his eye. "and I'm so, so proud of you."

sobbing

finally the words crawled out of him: "Everyone knows now, Bee." And that, she thought, was the harsh truth he would medicate to avoid processing. Not his uncle's betrayal or Drake's violence, but having his violation broadcast against his will to a family he wouldn't let go of and wouldn't let in. [...] Betsy would have gone to him if she wasn't so sure he would retreat.

SOBBING

"Who fears the monster that knows the taste of a whip?" Andrew asked.

literally puking. how beautiful and heartbreaking and such a horrible heartbreaking look into the way andrew views himself. this HUUURTS

"You could be their friend, their cousin, their brother. Don't you think you deserve that?" "Oh, Bee," Andrew said, a little too tired to be pitying. "With him on our heels?"

okay y'all gotta help me. is this about. drake? or like... who's him referring to

"Maybe letting her choose isn't the best idea." David said. Betsy put a hand over her heart. "David, you wound me." "Bee likes musicals," Andrew announced brightly, though David had found that out the hard way.

BETSY DAVID FRIENDSHIP I NEED ITTTTT

David waited until his back was turned before nodding an okay to Betsy. Trusting he would keep a discreet eye on her most precious charge, Betsy collected her keys and purse and left the house.

HER MOST PRECIOUS CHARGE

anyways! this chapter destroyed me and put me back together again! and i feel ILL after reading it! :D

[pleasantspark]

The Critical Community Callout Post

Fuck it, I am done gonna release and tell you who I am vaguing about. Let's start by saying please do NOT send any hate to anyone, I am simply gonna make this clear.

This community cannot handle one week without having a singular issue at all, either it's Cherry, RaySquid or Chai it's some people who cannot handle the block/mute feature and go straight to making a hitpeice.

ChaiFootsteps Derangement Syndrome

There's been countless callout posts from people, and it's ALWAYS leads back to Chai as if HE's the issue, there's been misinformation being spread and most of it you're getting from is you guessed it Dani and the Hazbin Stan Community.

They find a way to link anything shitty as it being Chai's fault. Have we really went too far in hubris? Look, I hate proshippers but there's been misinformation done OVER AND OVER to the point people who accused Chai did NOT ever FUCKING update it, when they are made aware instead they ignore people.

This is prime example of not listening at all lmfaooo.

Let me tell you something Chai isn't the boogeyman you all think he is, he's NOT involved in ANYTHING that ANYONE does, people just have borderline issues and they project these issues onto others. For clarity on this, here's what Chai said.

So even when he EXPLAINS you properly didn't acknowledge it? Yeah I find it hard to believe.

This is proof when you cry for "CHAI PLEASE ADDRESS THIS!!111!!" you finally get it and it's "NOT ENOUGGGGH!" NEVER CHANGE CRITICAL COMMUNITY THIS MILK IS DELICIOUS.

My Bridge Incident

Alright here we go, about yesterday. I receieved varying asks about the Limus situation.

I also suppose it's this.

But context clues, Retard means STUPID, are we forgetting it means stupid? I mean harsh yes, but that's how I am.

The issue was, and I quote, I said a offensive word.

Oh geez. Let's see what it means.

It's considered offensive now because people find it offensive 10 years ago we didn't.

Usually it's used for people with autism you KNOW the MENTAL ILLNESS I HAVE? Lol. LMAO EVEN.

Everyone whose a seasoned OrionBug OG knows I had an abusive stepdad, he used that word to insult me ALOT, I use the word in my vernacular to reclaim it. In order to actually feel better about myself. Empowering moment, to take back control.

But for some reason all is ignored when people find it offensive on behalf of others, and it's all there is to it.

Critical Bug's (totally hit)hitpeice on me.

Y'all don't send hate bruv bc nah this isn't what we're doing, so for starters this person, who was one of my mutuals decided to make a post crying about what I said to them after instead of taking it to DMs like a normal person did it on Anon.

Now, listen. If you have an issue, I can open up a discussion in the DMs or my server (Link below) but this person did not, they instead made a post meant to Slander and diss me. I know it was directed at me, because this the post lol.

Yes, they are complaining about someone who is also having the same problems as them using it.

Before you wonder, "how do you know is it them saying it towards you?"

I simply have a right to say this, and like I said before I am literally within my rights to say it, oh whats this there's comments too?

BAWWWING COMMENTS.

Using disability to say a slur is not nice

>this community engages in using queer which is also a slur.

Funny oh whose is this on top? Oh it's our good friend Quackerzzz the person behind CharlieCritques and the ONE person who had an issue with my Viv Neo Nazi Callout.

I'm certain they were this comment.

Because this community has issues with parsing text the hate I got for allegations that are NOT solid proof I had to turn off reblogs, and I will be turning off replies for mutuals. And Anon asks.

Now, let's see what else we have here.

Oh.

Oh My Fuck.

ImpperfectCritique's Obsession with Chai.

There's been issues with people a-logging the hell out of Chai and the biggest besides RaySquid is ImpperfectCritique's while they make good fanart they have actively made their content digging and ragging on Chai who btb had enough time to call out Chai but didn't have enough time to apparently tell someone Chai is going by he'/him. Yeah, when I called out the issue beforehand they claimed they didn't know but considering you called them out and took the time to actively call out Chai and presumably research into Chai's history.

Yeah don't buy it.

If this is in reference to me, then I don't really know what to say, I discourage people doing these, I use my own reclaimed slurs to empower myself as a being.

It's the R Slur that's got people crying not the fact I said Nigga a slur I can say, goes to show they are afraid to say "erm don't say that," yea advocating for less slur usage because retard affects my sensibilities and I must have a space dedicated to my 1394232043290342 problems to a show and fanbase who ARE NOTHING LIKE ME GUISE.

Striking Similarities to the VivziePop Fandom.

Okay, so I'm gonna be blunt and honest, you guys are nothing better then Dani and the others. You dedicate your time and effort to crying about slur usage and doing borderline coordinated attacks over something that easily is solved by DMs, I made this to call everyone out because my boundaries were VIOLATED.

People disrespected my boundaries, I take it you want infighting.

"No, no we don't want--"

Bull.

shit.

You were given SEVERAL times and CHANCES to fucking solve this.

Also someone used the r slur, Impperfect where's the complaint and callout to that person?

I asked people to handle things in DMs, they did not, so I take it you want infighting.

Here's your infighting doordashed to your doorstep, free of charge, you disrupt my evening I disrupt the house of cards in this fragile little community. I'm done with society, I'm done pretending everyone in the community are innocent little beans with no problems.

You're all just as bad as Viv's Stan's if not worse. You treat this as some sort of joke, and instead of talking it out you go to make a hit piece, my life has been threatened, I've been told to end myself. I took a stand for MOST of you in this community but it goes to show that even if you stand for others, they won't stand for you.

The Final Verdict

Status of the community: Reached LolCow Status.

I notice some of you all react so badly, some of you all react so horrendously to shit Viv does, either it being tame or downright stupid, I hate the woman too, but some of you go way too far.

And when you can't find a reason to hate, you direct that hate to others in the community you are in. Not just that Chai has to be dragged in EVERY drama as if he's the puppet master. He's NOT, I have my own means my own opinions, Chai isn't a mastermind (not the Helluva Boss Episode.) believe it or NOT he doesn't know shit like this happens.

I am tired of seeing this community act like childish fools, and aim to prove and one up another because they wanna play the "I CARE ABOUT EVERYONE except this person lol." Olympics, if I am judged by my words that's shallow.

That's deeply disgusting and borderline distressing you judge based on vernacular rather than the terms and conditions of who a person is.

You are all people who do NOT actually understand the issue first and foremost, and I am done entertaining it. I do not stand the Critical Community because I own a different part of it.

People, it's not the end of the world because I a mentally sufficient retard with low IQ said so meanie words, you can utilize the red button not the button with the pencil in it.

This community is now overran by LARPING Viv Stan's and I want nothing to do with this anymore, word of advice. Any remaining people with actual braincells left? Leave. This community preaches about acceptance and understanding but when I someone within their rights are allowed to practice freedom of speech to call a drama or object the r slur it's seen as if I killed an infant.

Hypocritical Hotel Critic Community.

(replies restricted and anon asks off due to harassment from people. Congrats and have a good day everyone.)

[xdreamfilledquotesx]

Quote Collection - light/ humor edition (tsc-tgr)

"Need anything else?” A reason to believe Nathaniel’s deal wasn’t going to backfire and destroy them all, Jean could have said, but he settled for an easier, “No.”

“He hasn’t played a clean game in years. But he knows how to follow orders. If you tell him to submit, he will.” - “Literally the most awkward way you could’ve worded it.”

“You are not trying to send me to the sunshine court.”

"We'd love to have you on the lineup if you’re interested in signing with us.” - “Would you? I lack Kevin’s tolerance for your ridiculous publicity stunt.”

“He doesn’t even care that he lost.” “Think so?” Wymack asked. “Fantastic,” Jean said, echoing Jeremy’s word choices with a mocking edge. “Talented. Great fun.”

Someone got a shot of the shuttered look on Riko’s face and the agonized tears still streaking down his cheeks. Jean laughed so hard he felt faint.

“Small talk is a pointless indulgence.” - “I like to indulge."

I think tonight’s supposed to be French dip or something. A little joke to welcome our first Frenchman to the line.” - “A comedy for the ages. I am laughing on the inside.”

Inside was a stack of bills and an index card that just said “I’m not dealing with this again. Buy some fucking clothes. –W”

"Keeping an eye on him at campus will give me something to do this year.” - “Easy,” Cat echoed, with skepticism. She worked for a minute in silence, then flicked him a sly look. “Easy on the eyes, maybe.”

“Your worry is misplaced. I promised I would not kill myself.” - “For the record, that’s not a thing well-adjusted people say.”

“If you say you deserved it, I’ll trip you." - “You wouldn’t.” - “Maybe not. But I’ll think about it really hard.”

“You do not have to trust him. I do.” ​- “After everything he said about the Ravens last year, I wasn’t expecting the two of you to be friends. If he’s still in town you should invite him over for dinner.” - “That ill-bred child is not my friend.”

“I would also destroy my phone if it went off as incessantly as yours do.” - “Sometimes a simple ‘no’ is enough.” - ​“A single word is seldom rude enough to make a point.”

“Damn. Is that how you say it? Jeremy.” They sounded it out, trying to match Jean’s accent. Jean wondered if he ought to be offended, but Cody saw the look on his face and hurried to say, “No, no, it’s so good. Please don’t ever change it. Jeremy. I bet he hit his knees the first time you said it. I would’ve.”

“He said I didn’t belong on the Ravens. That is not the compliment you all seem to think it is.”

​“Ravens do not travel alone.” - ​“Can you point at the Raven in the room?”

“Are you all right?” - ​“Yes, Coach.” ​- “It’s a rare honest day for you. Attempt not to break the streak, please. I asked if you’re all right.”

“For the record, it was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen, and I don’t even like men. It would have done you so much good to see that bitch humbled, Jeremy.”

“I don’t believe you. Cat has never bruised Laila like this.” - ​“Maybe Laila’s not as good with her tongue.” - ... - “I will tell her you said that.” ​- “God, please don’t. She’ll kill me.” ​- “Unfortunate.”

“It’s about being better overall, and you were. You are in every way. If I threw a rock into the chasm between your talents and his, I don’t think I’d ever hear it hit bottom.”

USC had four coaches, three assistants, and twenty-nine Trojans, but somehow the one person to walk in on them was Lucas fucking Johnson.

“If you’d ever be honest when people ask you about them, I wouldn’t have to be.” - ​“Says the least honest man I know."

“If he is going to be a Moreau, he will have to learn French.” ​- “I accept these terms.”

[bloodykora]

If you’re still doing Buggy headcanons: Sooo I always actually thought big noses on people are INCREDIBLY attractive. Give me men with noses that look just a bit too beaten up, women with noses that are big and wide, give me Roman noses and hawk noses and any unconventionally attractive nose and I am SWOONING.

… I feel the prompt almost writes itself at this point, what would Buggy think of someone who sees his funny looking nose not as a flaw but a mayor charm point and just constantly gives it kisses, traces it affectionately, boops it or comments (in all honesty and absolutely genuinely) how handsome and distinguished it makes him look, how it really suits him etc?

Wanna read about that man bluescreening because he hasn’t even treathened them yet to not make fun of his nose and they are already at the „flattering him to save themself“ stage? What do you MEAN you’re not saying that to safe yourself?!

This fucking anon/ask made me giggle so much, I literally showed it to my friends. I hope I did you and the prompt justice!

Enter the moment in Annie where Ms. Hannigan sees Warbucks’ diamond and goes “Oh my god, is that thing real?!” in shock but also delight. Me at that dude’s honker. (I want to be put on his nose like he has gangrene and I’m a leech who sucks on it to get the blood flow going) Also enter the Doja Cat quote of liking big noses.

- At first, dude is fucking weirded out. People have made comments and jokes about this stupid little red thing on his face and you… you think it’s attractive??? Huh.

- Definitely thinks you’re lying at first (and for the next few months), you’re literally the only person who is able to shut him up.

- Curtain drops, spot light is on, the blue haired clown walks in. Blabbering on about how his entrance should be more enthusiastic, but you got your eyes on your own prize, bright big red nostrils. If he wants an entrance, you’ll give him one by starting to clap loudly, getting so giddy that you start slightly hopping.

- “Oh my goodness, that is just.” Loss for words. “Are you making fun of me?” He approaches you, you hear him but his words don’t really seep into your brain at the moment. “It’s gorgeous, literally the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Your eyes are locked with his eyes and before he can even reply you reach up to brush your fingertip against his nose.

- Wants you dead first, no one has gotten close to touching it in years. And you, a low life nobody insults him like that. You get strung up immediately, your arm stretched so your fingers are out.

- “For that little ploy, I’ll take your fingers first and then your life.” Yes you’re scared but really could you regret it? This was the pirate’s life. “Oh, darn. Well, I’ll at least die happily. My eyes set on the most lovely nose I’ve seen in my years of life.”

- Thinks you’re still making fun of him until a few compliments later it clicks in his head that you mean it, with no hint of sarcasm or mockery. He lets you down, immediately ordering his crew to take care of the others you came with while he returns (runs) to his quarters. He’s a little intrigued by you, willing to die for a graze of his face. He keeps you as well, not that you’re upset by it.

- Crew thinks you’re hilarious, stopping a task to gaze longingly at the captain until either he realizes in which he shoos you back to work or he walks away. You boost his ego a ton though.

- From a distance he can ignore the thoughts he knows you’re thinking but up close, when they’re said in front of the crew, other pirates, hostages. He’s been known to cover your mouth with something so he doesn’t freeze up. When yall get together though, its game over.

- The first time you licked it, he almost saw some form of god. The angel's chorus was in his ears and he couldn’t help but say a little prayer in his head about you.

- Kissing it at least 3 times a day for good luck, rubbing up and down the bridge to soothe him to sleep, nipping at it when you feel playful. Not to mention he now has your voice in his head if he ever insults it going: “That’s not true! It is like one of the top 3 of the things I love about you and if you are mean to it again then I’m gonna cut it off and keep it all day!”

- Laying in his bed just watching him go about the day when you drop a “If my memory was wiped tomorrow I hope I’d get to keep at least the picture of your nose in my head.” before just turning over and going to rest. You hear him physically stop in his tracks and then a thud, he had let go of a boot.

- He doesn’t ever want to ask for praise about his nose on the days where he feels more insecure but you can tell by the way he rubs it on your collarbone and shoulder. You immediately pull out the good old “Have I told you how dashing attractive your nose is today? I seriously would just hop on and ri-” he doesn’t let you finish the sentence, cutting you off with a kiss knowing where it’s going.

- If anyone comments on his nose, you are the first to bite back. Threatening to cut out their tongue and string it up for future people to understand their place. Then squish Buggy while speaking highly of his stunning feature and how lucky they are to see it in the first place.

- You’re kinda crazy but hey, so is Buggy and he loves that you’re insane about him and his nose.

[trainsinanime]

Your favorite fanfic writer doesn't know (but would like to)

Let's talk about comments on fanfics. This is not meant as a guide or call to action, just a bit of observations. Personally, I always saw it as impolite to ask for reviews or kudos or comments or likes or reblogs or whatever. That's not a rational point of view, it just reflects how I am. And people actually telling others that they have to leave any of this feedback? I've blocked folks over that. In my mind that's not okay. I'm not announcing a change of that, this is not a policy, just some deep-seated mental issues, but I want to write down some more things that have been going through my mind, from the perspective of someone who occasionally writes fanfics. My previous suggestion in this regard was mostly to write some fanfic yourself and see what happens and what you'd like to happen, because it's genuinely fun and I think you probably have more to say than you realise.

But there's also another point here, and that is that your favourite fanfic writer has no idea that they are. If you're anything like me, then it will seem like the great writers in your fandom are obvious. Also, the last time you bought Blåhajs, it ended with you having to flee a smoke-filled subway tunnel. The great stories and great writers in your universe are facts of nature. You read a story and you think, "this is the greatest thing I've ever seen." A story rewires your brain chemistry forever. You keep coming back and reading that one fic whenever the mood hits you. It feels obvious that this story is great. How could it not be?

It feels trite to say that the author of that fic doesn't know that unless you tell them, but it's hard to really understand the feeling unless you've been there yourself. You write a story, but is it any good? Maybe you get a lot of kudos, or maybe very little, but what does either of that mean? Kudos can mean literally anything from "loved this" to "didn't close the tab in disgust". Maybe you just got unlucky. Maybe you just got lucky. What do these numbers mean? What is a good number of kudos? 1? 10? 100? 1000? Should I calculate ratios? How do I know whether people like this?

In light of this, a comment where someone just said, "I loved this", has an almost incalculable worth. A comment where someone says they read this over and over again, or quotes lines they loved, or something? You can't imagine how valuable that is. A while ago someone told me "a couple of us are talking about this on Discord, we love it and we keep repeating our favorite lines". I thanked them, but I was too polite to say, "really? What are they saying? Which are your favorite lines? How many people are there who love it? What are their names? Which lines are the favorite ones, please, tell me!". Part of me still regrets that, because I so desperately want to know! I don't think it was a public Discord and I never heard from the others on it, but just the idea that they're out there and they like my story was so powerful. (By the way, it's not on any account that's linked from here, please don't try to find that comment.)

Now, I firmly believe that you, as a reader, don't have to care about any of that. I know there are people who disagree with me on this point, very strongly in fact, but I don't think it's necessarily your job to care. It's great if you do, and I think a lot of you do in fact care, that's why I'm writing this. But if you haven't thought about that or don't feel comfortable leaving comments or whatever, that's fine, that's normal, and you are in fact part of the majority. Any well-adjusted fic author has found ways to deal with this. They have learned to love writing for its own sake, or they love re-reading their own fics, or they have a couple of trusted friends who like their work, or ideally all three. Personally I was scared of Discord for the longest time, but it really helps with that. One person who you sort of know going "hey that's neat" can outweigh just about anything else. (Still, there will be days when you post something and you won't get a response and that just plain sucks, no two ways about it.)

But if you do care, if you think it's important that a fanfic writer knows what they mean to you, not because of any concern about the wider unpaid fan creator economy but just because of the way their work affected you, then this is important. Your favorite fanfic writer probably doesn't know and/or believe that they're anyone's favorite, and even if they do, a reminder or learning that someone knew found them will make them incredibly happy. And obviously, all of that applies at least just as much to all the beginners with potential that are out there. So if you're wondering whether it's worth it leaving a comment that says how much you enjoyed something: It probably is. And if you shared this with others and they loved it, or if this is your favourite fic, or if you enjoy how original it is, or how well it does your favourite tropes, or anything like that, the writer is going to be so happy to hear that.

A final aside: This obviously applies even more when it's about fandoms, pairings, subject matter and in particular ratings that are considered a bit embarrassing. Writers who write stuff that, say, happens to be E-rated for whatever reason, doesn't matter, will probably get fewer kudos and comments just because people are embarrassed to have their names show up in the Kudos and Comment sections. If that's you, just a note that it is perfectly okay to comment anonymously, or to create a second separate account for leaving kudos on, commenting on and maybe even posting the somewhat more risqué stuff. Now I'm not saying I have one of these second accounts, at least I'm not saying that in public, but it is an option worth considering.

[accio-victuuri]

my mostly calm(er) reaction and reflection post on the magnolia awards nomination list 🥀

sir i don’t understand. why aren’t good people rewarded? // as the old saying goes, evil doers get gold belts and good people can’t even keep their corpses. { war of faith episode 24 }

the quote above is one of my favorites from the show and i feel the truth to it now more than ever. i have already posted about my initial rage and that hasn’t changed, it’s not okay and will never be. i’m mostly a pacifist but i’m not a doormat. there is a reason why the WOF account or the other nominees like the director and “best actor” have not posted their thanks as soon as the nominations were out because they are guilty. it speaks volumes and they should be ashamed of themselves. if you look at the most recent post for WOF weibo account, they are being torn apart. not to mention blog accounts and the same audience who supported the drama calling them out.

this should not be a surprise to those of us who watched the show and understood it’s meaning. because this is what the show thought us, to not stay quiet when there is injustice. much like how wei ruolai said that he is ashamed to be in this mountain. how he was not afraid to leave his dream and literally walk back to Jiangxi for what he believes is the right thing to do. i don’t think you will fully understand the hurt, this is not just me being a yibo stan but someone who saw myself in Wei Ruolai.

the drama was about how the youth can change the world. the reality, and what just happened is proving otherwise. i’m sharing this quote here cause it perfectly explains the problem:

"If the youth are strong, the country will be strong" but the truth is the youth are strong, but you don't recognize it.

this incident exposed the problem with these acting awards. i daresay, not only that, but with other industries where everything has to be about seniority. which in turn makes the younger generation feel burned out and contribute to wanting to lie flat. because what’s the point if the game is rigged. the CCP have always given importance to the youth. often inserting the message of why you all should have kids now because they are the future. they are important blah blah blah — but this simple award? you can’t even show fairness? Wang Yibo is the poster boy for CCP’s propaganda on how an upstanding Chinese Youth should be. He has been in the most recent years, we all cannot deny that with how prominent he is showing up in nationalistic programs tied to the “youth”. So if someone as popular/well-known/talented as WYB can’t be treated fairly. can’t be rewarded with his efforts, then what more for a normal citizen?

WOF team and Magnolia Awards really opened a can of worms here. It goes deeper than nominations and a fandom. In a way, it’s good how this exposed the corrupt system and contributed to why people are so angry. The tag for him continued to stay on top because a lot of netizen can relate, even if you didn’t watch it, i bet they had something to say. It’s been happening for some time but definitely is magnified because of Yibo’s popularity and it made them look really bad.

I am aware of Yibo’s chances with the history of older nominees when it comes to this Awards show but I am confident that he had a good chance of getting it. What made me livid was Wang Yang taking the nom. You can slice and dice it however you want, but Yibo carried that show. He is the main lead. The story is about Wei Ruolai. If Yibo didn’t get it i will still speak up but with the betrayal, not only to him but also the screenwriter — i can’t stay silent and be the “rational” vic that most of you are familiar with. WAR OF FAITH is still one of my favorite dramas with how it affected me and is largely contributing to why i’m reacting the way i do.

I’m not gonna defend anyone. Only Wang Yibo. Honestly. Fuck them all. I watched the show and supported it for WYB — everyone else don’t matter. I won’t post any hate message on their accounts but they get no love from me either.

So now let me get to the good part. Because no matter how hurt we all are, there is still a lot of good that came out of this. The silver lining(s) if you will.

1. Everyone who said that WYB has some backers can fuck off. This proves that he hasn’t. He has no background. There is no big-name pulling the strings for him. He is where he is because he is WANG YIBO. His name alone is enough. WOF got the green light because Wang Yibo’s name was on it. Now more than ever, it is proven that he is where he is because of who he is and what he can bring to the table.

2. We are reminded once again that producers are not our friends. LOL. if you know, you know. it’s all business. So don’t kiss their ass.

3. The fact that he trended #1 for hours, and still is right now at number 4 is proof of how great he represented the character of Wei Ruolai. People now recognize him as an actor who deserves a nomination and a win. The general public are now on his side. He is the underdog and there is nothing more that we want to see than a beaten down person rise above it and win. In a way, this creates more buzz and anticipation for his next movie that will be out. 🫶🏼

4. This has really set him apart from his peers of idol actors who crossed over to being professionals. He did it so effectively and in a short span of time. What happened is sad, but he won people’s hearts and those who already do stan him are more geared up to support him in the future. 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼

I’m happy for WOF’s nomination. If i’m being honest, it was a sure thing. I’m proud WYB was part and led this amazing drama to what it is. He will continue to give us more excellent works because that is his gift to the audience who always support him.

In the next coming days, if WYB or most likely YBO puts something out, that’s what i’m gonna follow. The most i will do is congratulate WOF, but the others? no thank you.

[franollie]

pls pls talk about charlie’s brain being animated 🙏 i would love to hear

oh id loveee to talk about charlie’s brain being animated!!! sorry this took so long to get out i got in my head and couldn't put my thoughts in order for a while!!

animation is an art form that is constantly having to “fight” to be seen as equal to other forms of entertainment. it’s constantly being written off as being childish, lesser than, simple, etc. despite the fact that the medium has proven itself to be more than competent. MUCH LIKE CHARLIE!! there’s also something about charlie’s segment of “the gang saves the day” being a parody of Up, an animated children’s movie (a demographic that is always looked down upon by the industry) that just adds to the layers of being overlooked. Hell, the fact that the episode decides to parody that specific scene from Up adds to the themes because the opening montage in Up is regarded as one of the most moving scenes in animation. But, even then, it's seen as an exception, a rare moment of children's animation being worthy of academy attention. to quote the guardian, "one of the most extraordinary openings to a film, live-action or otherwise, noting that in the context of a larger film it: 'dares to risk alienating' the audience animated films are generally targeted towards, and threatens to topload the drama thereby making the rest of the film a letdown." And really that summarizes my whole point.

but theres more here than just being overlooked!! theres also the vibrancy of animation! the naive wonder and romanticization of mundane day to day life! all of these things are centric characteristics of charlie!!

children’s movies are usually very vibrant and colorful. charlie’s part in “the gang saves the day” is no exception to this! its a very bright and cheerful world. even the more somber scenes are made up of rich purples and blues rather than just tones of grey. and while i’m sure that the color choices in this part of the episode are just parodying Up, i like to think it means charlie’s worldview is simply brighter than the other characters especially when you compare the colors in charlie’s segment to the color grading in every other member’s.

while on the topic of charlies worldview, charlie sees the world in a very straightforward way for someone as unorthodox as he is (it’s part of what makes him such a fun straight-man in my opinion). in “the gang gets analyzed” dee’s therapist even comments on this! his explanations and reasoning behind his actions make sense when you follow his train of thought and understanding of life. veryyy much like how a lot of children's animation is very straight forward with their morals despite not always following "real world logic". people commit acts of heroism and they get love and a happily ever after. charlie saves the waitress, they live happily ever after.

charlie isn’t really a “wildcard” when you break down his character. he’s a very rational man operating with a dysfunctional brain. now. all of that being said, real people can’t follow his lifestyle and be half as functional as charlie is. rcg talk about how absurd and cartoony the whole gang can get, but charlie tends to get the major brunt of the cartoonification beam. so it only makes sense that his ideal world would literally be animated :)

sorry again for taking so long before finally getting around to this, and I apologize if it's unintelligible. charlie and animation is just one of those little things that makes me sooo insane. and unfortunately, the more insane i am about a topic the less sense i make. hopefully you got something interesting out of this though!!!!

[anxious-witch]

Okay part two on Bojan's photoshoot analysis. Part one is here, so without further ado, let's get started.

As always these are entirety subjective and my own opinion, you are free to disagree and add on your thoughts as long as you aren't being a dick about it

Starting off strong, we have Bojan, only in his underwear, smoking a cigaratte and looking into the camera.

His face is tortured, and he is smoking, implying once again, that he needs something to keep his feeling, his anxiety at bay. But you can still see his inner turmoil on his face.

His pose is more relaxed than I'd expect, though. He isn't flexing and despite being in only his underwear, his pose isn't drawing attention to his body. In that moment, he is vulnerable enough to expose it, and letting it be soft and real. Although his face makes me feel like this is due to exhaustion rather than true show of trust.

The flowers in the corner are very interesting too. Thank you to @theraggedygirl11 and @wild-joker-out-pleasures for helping me identify them as hydrangeas. I think this particular bit is very symbolic for Bojan here:

"The etymological meaning of hydrangea stems from the Greek words for water, hydros and jar, angos. It was given to the plant because of its shape resembling an ancient water pitcher. How fitting, since hydrangeas require constant moisture to stay happy, healthy and blooming.

While everyone seems to agree that hydrangea care includes a lot of watering, the symbolism of the flowers varies drastically between cultures. In Japan, the flower is associated with heartfelt emotion, understanding and apology. The Japanese emperor apparently made a lasting impression not only on his girlfriend’s family but also the rest of his empire. The hydrangea can further symbolize unity and togetherness.

Contrastingly, hydrangeas have a negative sentiment in Europe where they were used to declare arrogance and boastfulness. This association is based on the ability of the plant to produce many flowers but very few seeds. English men in the 1800s used to send hydrangeas to women who rejected them, accusing them of frigidity. Thanks to the Victorian men’s poor attitude and lack of empathy, it is believed that young women who grow hydrangeas in their front yard will never get married. In other words: if you’ve been unlucky in finding a partner, maybe you should check your grounds for hydrangeas."

And man, what a message to send! Once again, Damon plays with the duality of Bojan. Is he someone boastful, a playboy who cares about nobody, like so many people perceive him? Or is he heartfeal, and full of emotion?

Also to have a flower that needs constant water to bloom next to a man whose element in this photoshoot is fire? God, Damon, I am in your walls.

In all seriousness tho, Damon is very much not subtly implying that Bojan need to keep himself nourished on things that make him bloom, or he will burn out.

This fuether repeats here. I already analyzed these photos in a previous part, but with this quote it confirms my above statement. Don't let your anxiety and expectations of others break your heart. You are allowed to be fragile and vulnerable. You have to be, or you'll get burned.

God, these three. To start from the top one, once again we have a more rugged look from Bojan. I am not sure if he is wearing makeup, or if it's the light, but it looks like there is thick, black eyeliner framing his eyes. We also have spikes and a leather shirt. His arms are in a very boxy position, his hands behind his head and he is looking directly into the camera.

This pose actually reminds me of the pose one has to do before being arrested in the movies. Literally holding his hands behind his head. The defiant look on his face. Like he is surrendering, but it's against his will, he is still protesting this show of vulnerability. His defiant gaze seems almost taunting, almost asking if we are entertained by what we are seeing.

Also I know a lot of people said the addition of Slovenian flag feels random and goofy, but I'd say this shows how in a way, Bojan is carrying that weight of now forever representing Slovenia. They went to ESC, but Bojan never fully went back. He can't-now they are forever tied as a band that represents the country.

And that isn't a bad thing, but it's a pressure on his shoulders, a need to keep up the facade of a tough playboy everyone seems to want him to be.

Immediately followed by the picture on the bottom left. A literal scream, resembling the picture The Scream by Edvard Munch, which @reverse-strawberry-milk already pointed out. The weight of his emotions caught up to him, you can practically hear his torture scream here, the facade crumbling completely.

And then, a completely switch in the picture three. He is soft, trusting. Open. One of his eyes is even closed. He doesn't have to be fully focused on the camera. He doesn't have to play it up for the invisible crowd, he can just relax.

And at last, these last three. First two play up with the elements we previously saw, first one show duality of Bojan's soft expression with such a rugged outfit, calling back to the broken hearted belt and fragility he feels he is destined to hide behind countless layers.

Second one features a cigarette again. Fire is dangerous, but so enticing, just as cigarettes are. How far are you willing to destroy and poison yourself to be entertaining? How much are you willing to burn out, to keep reaching out fir cigarettes to calm you, before you have to take a break and find a healthier way to deal with your anxiety?

Last one, an even fuller, better version of the soft picture from part one. He is wearing soft jumper Damon borrowed him, the one he feels safe in. This is not a face of someone who had a mental breakdown just moments before like in the black and white picture, no. This is full circle. Acceptance and healing. It's in color because Damon didn't want any harsh lines here, which happen in black and white even when the face is smoothed out.

No-this one is fully for Bojan to see himself in the best way he can be. Soft and trusting. "Promise me something? I'll keep creating for you and I. But you have to also. Go create. No boundaries. Let it all out."

What a way to show all that! Let it all out. All the anger, despair, anxiety, expectations. Because there is always softness underneath all that. When you strip all of it, what is left, but you?

Anyway, I got a bit carried away there at the end, my bad, but I genuinely adore the subtle storytelling Damon does via his photos. I love that Kris has a lot more separate headshots, while Bojan has several pictures all at once. Once again, a hint towards someone showing openness vs someone being torn between two possible versions of themselves.

As always, if you have ajy additional thoughts, feel free to add them, I love hearing other peoole's opiniom on this!

[kaleb-is-definitely-sane]

Hello, hello lovely Kaleb! One of my upcoming writing projects is about a queer Christian who grew up in a very strict Christian family. She is told that God doesn't love her and that she is going to Hell, but this girl has a passionate and loving faith.

If you are comfortable, could you please describe how faith feels to you. I imagine the whole concept must be very powerful and overwhelming at times, but it isn't something I've experienced, so I don't want to inaccurately represent the experience of being Christian. I'd be grateful for any small contribution, but again, if this isn't a question you want to answer don't worry about it at all :)

Thank you so much,

Sage

Xx

Okay. So. For reference. Sage sent me this ask on May 19, 120 days ago. And I thought, "Oh, this'll be easy to answer." But then in June I was proven just how wrong that thought was. It was my best friend's birthday, and I broke down. Crying. Screaming. Shaking. Mad at God (told him to get over it) and asking him to kill me.

He didn't.

He sent me a frog. (This was actually very sweet and personal to me; it makes more sense in context lol).

And then I yelled at him for being kind to me lol. "Stop being kind to me, I am trying to be mad at you!"

What I'm trying to say is it's not easy and I am so, so sorry I ever thought it was.

The thing is tho, many people (queer non christians; straight christians) think it is. "Oh why don't you just stop being Christian?" "Oh why don't you just stop being gay?" As if it's that easy.

To quote G.K. Chesterton, "A religion is not the church a man goes to but the cosmos he lives in". My religion is not my aesthetic or whatever; it's my cosmology. It is the way I understand all of reality and is not separate from any aspect of my life. I cannot stop being Christian or stop believing in Yahweh, the God of the Bible, any sooner than I can change my skin color. Or my sexuality.

That said I should say there are 4 main theological views on this:

Side A: Affirming. Side A is the position that homosexuality is not in conflict with Christianity and that homosexual relationships can be pleasing to God. Sex between homosexual partners is no more sinful than sex between heterosexual partners and gay people should be welcome in the church. Gay marriage is supported.

Side B: Chaste. The idea that being queer is not a sin, but that the bible clearly says that gay sex is iniquity. That said, there is nothing wrong with calling yourself gay; you just couldn't actually be in a relationship with someone ss.

Side X: Orientation Change. This is the "pray the gay away" crowd. Conversion therapy advocates. You need Jesus to fundamentally change you.

Side Y: New Identity. These people also believe that that it's not just homosexual sex that's sinful but any homosexual thoughts or feelings whatsoever, however involuntary. You must live in complete celibacy forever and cannot even call yourself gay.

I'm Side B. I think. I'm side b the way I'm bi which is to say most of the time lol. I have many Side A mutuals and I love and adore all of them. People who are Side B and Side A (in my experience) tend to be some of the best bible readers and the ones most interested in theology. Part of that lies in the fact that we have to constantly justify our faith and identity to practically everyone. Seriously. It is why i avoid talking about my sexuality to Christians, and my faith to nonbelievers.

Side X is literal heresy. Anyone who says that God hates someone is a heretic because God is Love. 1 John 4:8. To say that God hates someone is to say God isn't love which is to change God's identity which is heresy. (You will not find my theology slacking)

I find Side Y ridiculous at least to me personally. I'm gay; you're a Republican. One of those is definitely worse and it's not the former.

As such I also have a firm conviction that no one is going to hell for being gay. First: I don't believe in hell as the word is not even in the mother freaking Bible!!! The word is Gehenna which is an actual physical place south of Jerusalem and that fact has serious theological implications that people need to freaking consider and I could go on an entire rant about this, but I will not for the sake of my mental health. *takes some deep breaths* Where was I? Right. No one is going to hell for being gay; and no one is going to the New Jerusalem for being straight. That is no where in the scriptures. And when someone says I am a sinner who is going to hell for being gay I'm like 1) You obviously don't know me as nothing is more important to me then my faith and 2) I don't trust your exegesis of scripture and am not really interested in your take.

So... I tried and I don't even know if I answered your question well T-T. Summary I guess is:

It's freaking hard but what else am I going to do? My God emptied himself, became a human, and died the torturous death of a slave so *shrugs*

Hamartiology sucks. Not as a concept but as an obsession that some people have. Do Justice. Love Mercy. Walk Humbly. This should be someone's obsession, not whether some stranger is going to hell or not. No one goes to hell when they die. Please find me a bible verse that says that *rolls eyes*

God is love and to say otherwise is heresy.

Surround yourself with loving and passionate believers from many different backgrounds and learn their thoughts. Nothing has made me a better Christian than that.

So... yeah.

I am going to regret posting this; aren't I?

[mtr1234]

KOLTC fans who do not like Fitz, this post is for you. Fitz fans who do not believe people have sound arguments about why they dislike Fitz, this post is also for you.

Disclaimer:

I will mention stuff that happened in Stellarlune, so if you are not caught up with the series you might not want to continue reading.

I will try to provide quotes, but I will likely just describe the scene and what book it is in when I provide my reasons.

Also, this post will be pretty long which may or may not be a good thing depending on who you are.

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Anyway, let’s get to the reasons why I dislike Fitz. I have broken them up into three main categories, and I will be talking about aspects of Fitz’s character that I think a lot of people overlook (not the reasons that people do tend to mention: him having anger issues and being boring)

I don’t know if you guys have noticed this, but Fitz is really shady, Iike really shady (and not in a good way like our favorite shade Tam)

He has eavesdropped on Sophie and Keefe’s conversations before which I find so weird

In Lodestar, when Sophie and Keefe were communicating telepathically in that slimy location that Keefe picked out, Fitz started listening in on their conversation without their knowledge. He said it was because he was worried since he heard Sophie gasp. Personally, I do not buy this excuse. He can literally see Sophie so he could easily determine that she is not in danger. At the very least, why did he not immediately announce that he was listening once he knew Sophie was okay? In my opinion, it just feels odd, and if I were Sophie or Keefe I would feel a bit uneasy.

In Flashback, Sophie and Keefe were talking in the healing center about starting weapons training, and Sophie asks Keefe if he is down to do that (or something along those lines). Fitz immediately shouts, “I’m in!” The shady thing about this was that he was sleeping in his cot when they were talking. Now, I’m not saying that he is expected to cover his ears while they have a private convo in the healing center. But the thing is, he pretended to be asleep to listen to more of their conversation which is creepy.

The next very shady thing was the gift he gave Sophie in Legacy which was a painting he asked Keefe to make.

I always thought this was shady because, for one thing, he completely stole Keefe’s idea for a gift. Come on, a painting with a heartfelt message on the back?! That was literally what Keefe gave Sophie in Nightfall. Here comes the actual shady part though: why did he not just go to Atlantis or somewhere and have someone paint it for him? He purposefully asked Keefe to paint the confession scene between him and Sophie when he knows that Keefe likes Sophie. That is so messed up. This is made even worse by the fact that he paid Keefe when literally every elf is born with an unlimited birth fund so it was essentially worthless.

This next example happened in Legacy. I feel like a lot of people forgot about this or kind of swept in under the rug, but I think it is actually very telling of the type of person Fitz is. I am talking about when Fitz decided to search Lord Cassius’s mind to learn anything about where Alvar might be after he got away in Flashback.

There are several shady things about what happened in this scene. First of all, Fitz decided to do this even though he knew that it would make Keefe uncomfortable (Fitz would see the abuse/trauma Keefe suffered at home). Secondly, Fitz did this without even asking Keefe first or even letting him know about it. If you recall, he literally just showed up at Keefe’s house without any warning. Lastly, he tried to lie about it too. He tried to say “I’m doing this for Keefe” and “whatever I find will be helpful for Keefe”. Give me a break, we all know he did not do this out of concern for Keefe and he was caught lying in the act by Keefe himself. *I find it funny how he tried to lie about it to Keefe, when Keefe is literally the strongest empath in their world and is literally so smart even though he does not get enough credit for it.

2. When he gets mad at Sophie, the first thing he does is belittle her or try to make her feel stupid:

This first example comes from Exile when Fitz was getting mad at Sophie about what happened to his dad. Now, a lot of people like to dismiss how Fitz acted in this situation because he was under a lot of stress, but I do not think this is right to do because it absolves Fitz of any guilt instead of addressing how his behavior was wrong. The specific scene I am referring to is when, I believe, Alvar suggests that maybe Sophie can help Alden and then Fitz responds with: “Please, she’s just a kid.” What I get from this statement is that he is making Sophie feel less than, and in the process he is putting himself above her “level”. Now, one can use the excuse that he wasn’t himself and that he was torn up with grief, but he says similar things to Sophie later on in the series (when his dad is not on his deathbed) which I mention below.

This next example happens towards the end of Legacy, just before Fitz and Sophie broke up. Sophie was defending her decision to search Lord Cassius’s mind for any important information even though Fitz was already doing that (she honestly didn’t even need to do this because everyone knew he was getting nowhere and that he would never have found anything useful). Anyway, Fitz responds with: “So you thought the Moonlark needed to swoop in and take over? The leader of Team Valiant? Lady Sophie Foster? The fact that he is trying to make her feel bad about her accomplishments is a major red flag in my opinion. As someone who supposedly cares about her more than anyone, he should feel the most proud of her successes.

This third example is from Stellarlune. It’s when Fitz and Sophie have their first telepathy session after the whole “Fitzphie’s not a thing!” debacle. So, Sophie is asking Tiergan what a Cognate Inquisition is and then here comes the interjection: “Better question,” Fitz jumped in using a smug tone that made [Sophie] wish one of the buttons on her telepathy chair would turn Fitz’s into an ejector seat and launch him out of the room. “Why were you hoping to spare us from it?” I just think this is unnecessary and uncalled for; why is he trying to embarrass/ one up her in front of their mentor? (Did he forget that he is the one who joined her session, not the other way around?)

3. The last major issue I have with Fitz is the fact that he guilt trips Sophie and Keefe a lot. And, just so everybody is aware, not about minor stuff. He tries to make them feel guilty about things that are completely out of their control, and as you are reading these examples I just want you to keep in mind that elves are not equipped to handle guilt. Their mind can literally shatter if they feel too much of it (like Alden), and that’s why I think it is so horrific every time Fitz does stuff like this:

Everybody knows this one, but I am still going to put it here because it is worth mentioning. In Exile, Fitz blamed Sophie for his dad’s mind shattering. I have seen a lot of people try to say it is justified because he was going through a lot at the time, but I disagree. I think we can all agree that just because someone is going through a tough time (no matter how tough it may be), it does not give them the right to bully an innocent person.

Moving on, in Flashback, towards the end of the book Fitz makes everyone search for Alvar because he thinks he is up to something shady. When they find Alvar and question him, Keefe says that he can tell that Alvar is telling the truth. Then Fitz retorts, “Like you could tell with your mom?” In this remark, he is referring to the fact that, before she revealed her betrayal, Keefe had no idea that his mom was evil. This made me so angry on Keefe’s behalf because everyone already knows that he blames himself for everything that his mom is doing. With every revelation about his mom’s plan he sees how much worse things truly are, and that sends him into a downward spiral of guilt. For his “best friend” to say this to him is so messed up.

This is not another example, just my own thoughts about what I said above so you can skip it if you would like. I never understood why people (namely the Councillors) expected Keefe to know that his mom was evil. For one thing, his parents are literally known for never showing any physical or emotional affection to him. So, how is he supposed to be able to read his mom’s emotions if he never is close to her? Secondly, I think people are forgetting that as an empath he can only read people’s emotions. He does not know the reason why they are feeling the way that they do unless he has context. Lastly, his mom was literally erasing his memories left and right so whatever information he could even manage to glean would be wiped from his mind. Meanwhile, Fitz is literally a telepath, and he had no idea his brother was evil (and I assume he must have read his brother’s mind at least one time) so I think he needs to lay off the judgment.

In Legacy, Gisela leaves a note for Sophie to bring Keefe to Loamnore during the “showdown” (or whatever you want to call it). Anyway, Sophie does not want to do this because it is obviously a trap, and Keefe gives in and agrees to stay behind. When he makes this decision, Fitz says, “Wow, you really hate Tam that much? Because he’s the one who’ll pay the price if you’re not there—you get that right?” Is it just me or does that not sound so condescending? All I can say to this is how does he have the nerve to blame Gisela’s actions on Keefe, especially when Keefe is one of the people working the hardest to stop her? Also, it is crazy that Fitz is guilt tripping Keefe for deciding not to be bait and leaving his life in the hands of his (crazy) mom. I’m sure it’s easy for Fitz to say that because he is not the one who is being targeted by an evil mastermind who wants to experiment on him.

This last example happened in Stellarlune, so it is is quite literally very recent. Fitz and Sophie are in the school cafeteria, and they are disagreeing about next steps to take to stop the Neverseen. In that conversation Fitz says, “But sometimes it feels like you don’t realize that it’s only a matter of time before something you do gets someone else killed?” In my opinion this is a completely unfair statement to make against Sophie. First of all, since the beginning of the series she never wanted her friends involved in the fight against the Neverseen because she wanted to keep them safe. However, her friends (including Fitz) would not take no for an answer and insisted on helping. Secondly, Sophie is always going above and beyond (risking her life) to save that of others. Both times when she almost died fixing her abilities, she endured it all for the sake of becoming stronger and protecting her friends, family, and her world. That is why I think the way Fitz is trying to make her feel guilty, and put the entire weight of people’s lives on her shoulders, is so unjustified. She is literally a young girl trying to do her best to save her world from crazy powerful villains, cut her some slack.

If you made it to the end, thanks for reading. Honestly, there are many more examples that could be brought up that I’m sure a lot of you are thinking about, but I am too lazy to write all of that. I just wanted to share my thoughts because I have been seeing some people say that Fitz has had good character development throughout the series (which I just have not seen) and does not deserve all the hate so I just wanted to share why I believe Fitz is viewed the way he is by a majority of the Keeper fandom.

[emmitaaa4]

"As if the city view held some answer." On visions, heartbeats through stone, and the Dusk Court.

I'm but a procrastinating engineering student so this is going to be a bit of a messy post/theory, but here we go.

HOFAS spoilers:

Others have probably already theorized about this, but we know that Bryce ended up giving back TT and handing the Starsword (Gwydion) to the acotar folks... could it be that the Gwydion is destined to be Elain's? Or used by Elain, perhaps in the revival of the Dusk court? After all, as @bright-side20 and others have pointed out we already know that she likely accessed TT's powers in acowar (stepping out of a shadow to kill Hybern; if I am not mistaken TT leaked a darkness that even Az was surprised to witness in HOFAS).

sidenote: if you are curious about the link between Avallen & the Dusk court, I encourage everyone to go read this theory/breakdown!

Could this also be why the fact that Elain returned TT (which was an obvious action) was emphasized in ACOFAS, where SJM said she planted seeds for future bookS? Cause I find it interesting that it is Mor of all people that hums pensively as she points out that Elain gave TT back to Azriel: does she know/sense something with that power of hers? Does Elain perhaps See something too, given that she supposedly moved away from it very assuredly? After all, Mor was the one to say that "there is a reason that Elain is seeing these things" (acowar).

ALSO... I believe it's been pointed out already that the heartbeat through the stone that elain famously heard in acowar could have been a literal "beating, vibrant heart locked away far beneath"; i.e. the heart of the Dusk court (hofas). I find it all the more interesting, then, that Gwydion is described to have its light like a heartbeat (paraphrased from hofas, I dont remember the exact quote).

After all, it is looking away from Lucien, towards the windows, that she tells him--or rather, appears to be telling him:

“When I sleep,” she murmured, “I can hear your heart beating through the stone.” She angled her head, as if the city view held some answer. “Can you hear mine?” “He wasn’t sure if she truly meant to address him, but he said, “No, lady. I cannot.”

I repeat:

as if the CITY VIEW held some answer.

What if it did? And what if that answer is found in Gwydion's light and/or the Dusk court's beating heart?

In fact, what else do we know happens (or happened in acowar at least) when she sleeps? Visions, most likely: before she gained the understanding she needed to free herself from the murky-realm she was trapped in (thanks to my man Az), she was lost in a dream-like state. And those dreams often including the trashing sea...

"I can see so very far now. All the way to the sea." Indeed, the sea beyond the Sydra was a distant sparkle. (...) “I can hear your heartbeat—if I listen carefully. I can hear her heartbeat, too.” (who is her? is she hearing her sisters' literal heartbeats, or someone/something else's?)

“I can hear the sea. Even at night. Even in my dreams. The crashing sea—and the screams of a bird made of fire.”

These quotes have been dissected countless times already, but what I'd really like to add to the conversation is that there is something interesting from a passage from HOFAS I referenced earlier:

“And in that moment, the mountain—the island—spoke to her. Alone. It was so alone—it had been waiting all this time. Cold and adrift in this trashing grey sea. If she could reach out, if she could open her heart to it… it might sing again. Awaken. There was a beating, vibrant heart locked away, far beneath them. If she freed it, the land would rise from its slumber, and such wonders would spring again from its earth (…)”

I am about to make the mother of all reaches (call me delulu idc idc), but all this talk about Elain being “blooming spring” and “a promise of spring”… and here we have a slumbering, barren Island (not unlike the way she herself has been forgotten, has been lost in dreams) in the trashing sea (crashing sea, anyone?) which could spring anew.

Just to wrap this up, you cant tell me that this passage isn't extremely Elain "gentle-grower-of-life" Archeron coded:

Dusk, twilight—that’s what the island was in its long-buried heart, what her power bloom into, the lands rising with it. It was, as she said, as if the island had a soul that now blossomed under her care, nurtured by the court she built here.

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Voila :) Hopefully I didnt get things mixed up and this made at least a little bit of sense. Ok so done with my procrastination and now back to thermodynamics (send help)(please).