#something to meditate on

[idylls-of-the-divine-romance]

"The masculine urge" "the feminine urge" The Christian urge to buy a crucifix necklace so I can meditate on the Christ Crucified and wonder in awe of the incarnation and in horror of human violence and in utter confusion at God's self giving love for us that led him to die the death of a cursed blaspheming slave.

[kaleb-is-definitely-sane]

Hello, hello lovely Kaleb! One of my upcoming writing projects is about a queer Christian who grew up in a very strict Christian family. She is told that God doesn't love her and that she is going to Hell, but this girl has a passionate and loving faith.

If you are comfortable, could you please describe how faith feels to you. I imagine the whole concept must be very powerful and overwhelming at times, but it isn't something I've experienced, so I don't want to inaccurately represent the experience of being Christian. I'd be grateful for any small contribution, but again, if this isn't a question you want to answer don't worry about it at all :)

Thank you so much,

Sage

Xx

Okay. So. For reference. Sage sent me this ask on May 19, 120 days ago. And I thought, "Oh, this'll be easy to answer." But then in June I was proven just how wrong that thought was. It was my best friend's birthday, and I broke down. Crying. Screaming. Shaking. Mad at God (told him to get over it) and asking him to kill me.

He didn't.

He sent me a frog. (This was actually very sweet and personal to me; it makes more sense in context lol).

And then I yelled at him for being kind to me lol. "Stop being kind to me, I am trying to be mad at you!"

What I'm trying to say is it's not easy and I am so, so sorry I ever thought it was.

The thing is tho, many people (queer non christians; straight christians) think it is. "Oh why don't you just stop being Christian?" "Oh why don't you just stop being gay?" As if it's that easy.

To quote G.K. Chesterton, "A religion is not the church a man goes to but the cosmos he lives in". My religion is not my aesthetic or whatever; it's my cosmology. It is the way I understand all of reality and is not separate from any aspect of my life. I cannot stop being Christian or stop believing in Yahweh, the God of the Bible, any sooner than I can change my skin color. Or my sexuality.

That said I should say there are 4 main theological views on this:

Side A: Affirming. Side A is the position that homosexuality is not in conflict with Christianity and that homosexual relationships can be pleasing to God. Sex between homosexual partners is no more sinful than sex between heterosexual partners and gay people should be welcome in the church. Gay marriage is supported.

Side B: Chaste. The idea that being queer is not a sin, but that the bible clearly says that gay sex is iniquity. That said, there is nothing wrong with calling yourself gay; you just couldn't actually be in a relationship with someone ss.

Side X: Orientation Change. This is the "pray the gay away" crowd. Conversion therapy advocates. You need Jesus to fundamentally change you.

Side Y: New Identity. These people also believe that that it's not just homosexual sex that's sinful but any homosexual thoughts or feelings whatsoever, however involuntary. You must live in complete celibacy forever and cannot even call yourself gay.

I'm Side B. I think. I'm side b the way I'm bi which is to say most of the time lol. I have many Side A mutuals and I love and adore all of them. People who are Side B and Side A (in my experience) tend to be some of the best bible readers and the ones most interested in theology. Part of that lies in the fact that we have to constantly justify our faith and identity to practically everyone. Seriously. It is why i avoid talking about my sexuality to Christians, and my faith to nonbelievers.

Side X is literal heresy. Anyone who says that God hates someone is a heretic because God is Love. 1 John 4:8. To say that God hates someone is to say God isn't love which is to change God's identity which is heresy. (You will not find my theology slacking)

I find Side Y ridiculous at least to me personally. I'm gay; you're a Republican. One of those is definitely worse and it's not the former.

As such I also have a firm conviction that no one is going to hell for being gay. First: I don't believe in hell as the word is not even in the mother freaking Bible!!! The word is Gehenna which is an actual physical place south of Jerusalem and that fact has serious theological implications that people need to freaking consider and I could go on an entire rant about this, but I will not for the sake of my mental health. *takes some deep breaths* Where was I? Right. No one is going to hell for being gay; and no one is going to the New Jerusalem for being straight. That is no where in the scriptures. And when someone says I am a sinner who is going to hell for being gay I'm like 1) You obviously don't know me as nothing is more important to me then my faith and 2) I don't trust your exegesis of scripture and am not really interested in your take.

So... I tried and I don't even know if I answered your question well T-T. Summary I guess is:

It's freaking hard but what else am I going to do? My God emptied himself, became a human, and died the torturous death of a slave so *shrugs*

Hamartiology sucks. Not as a concept but as an obsession that some people have. Do Justice. Love Mercy. Walk Humbly. This should be someone's obsession, not whether some stranger is going to hell or not. No one goes to hell when they die. Please find me a bible verse that says that *rolls eyes*

God is love and to say otherwise is heresy.

Surround yourself with loving and passionate believers from many different backgrounds and learn their thoughts. Nothing has made me a better Christian than that.

So... yeah.

I am going to regret posting this; aren't I?

[tacticalmaladjustment]

零 (Rei) where 零 means 0

一騎 (Kazuki), where 一 means 1

They are the 'on' to the other one's 'off'. A duality. Two.

ミリ, where the katakana ミ not only resembles the kanji 三 but is actually derived from it, the character for '3'

Because this family is not complete if it's any less.

[idylls-of-the-divine-romance]

Something something... imago dei... The Divine acts thru us... when we love another human, we love the imago dei in the other human... when we sin against other humans, we sin against The Divine because of the image of the divine in the other person...

"in that person"?... is the imago dei "in" a person?... or is it the physical body??... Hmm... Maimonides wouldn't like that too much i don't think (tho i have a love/despise relationship with him anyway so)... Hmmm... maybe the imago dei is your nephesh... So you're entire being... except animals are also "living nephesh" "living souls" "living beings" as well and they are not in the imago dei...

“At the trial of God, we will ask: why did you allow all this? / And the answer will be an echo: why did you allow all this?”

— Ilya Kaminsky, from “A City Like a Guillotine Shivers on Its Way to the Neck,” Deaf Republic

[idylls-of-the-divine-romance]

I feel like it's important to be clear that evil is systemic. I mean back when I was being dragged down the conservative pipeline I might have denied that but like. Moses, Jesus, Peter, Paul, John: they all teach that oppressive nations are being energized by unseen spiritual evils. Evil is absolutely built into structures we have made as humans. But the clarification is really important: humans put them there. Which is what should separate Christians from secular leftist: yes there is systematic evil but no destroying the systems won't get rid of them. The problem is in the human heart which is corrupted and sick, in need of not just medicine but the Great Physician: Jesus the Anointed One.

[kaleb-is-definitely-sane]

I’m realizing that i use the word “wish” quite often….

[iri1zzz]

Me trying to distract my s/o from the fact that i am literally from a different reality:

[idylls-of-the-divine-romance]

@ahopefulbromantic I need you to see this. I feel like you'd have some thoughts here. Something about someone (the disciples?? the religious leaders?? the soldiers??) being there when Jesus died. Seeing his dead body and having to wonder if this could be the Son of God? Or if he was just human? Or if the line between the 2 is more blurry then we once thought....

[turtleblogatlast]

Something I like about Leo is that he’s honestly really chill? It’s easy to remember the moments where he’s being obnoxious or excitable but I feel like most of the time he’s incredibly “go with the flow” and has an overall affable demeanor.

[idylls-of-the-divine-romance]

"Love is what makes us human" but not in a sexual way but in a "Other-centered, life-giving love that causes me to willingly lay down it's life for my friends or strangers or even my 'enemies' if it means they will be better off is what makes us human" kind of way

[kaleb-is-definitely-sane]

The inherent correlation between love and melancholy……

[idylls-of-the-divine-romance]

Well. I'll be crying if yall need me.

St. Sebastian, Suehiro Maruo

[kelocitta]

I'll be honest if youre a strictly digital artist you should pick up some sort of physical hobby art. Stamp carving/needlefelting/etc. Maybe get a single carving knife and just start whittling twigs like some sort of cowboy. Having something more tactile to do with your hands can be a lot more relaxing and grounding than paper or screen art is in my experience its really good for nerves

[harvest-of-the-present]

that Dionysus who shows calmness and a serious expression on the outside while carrying the most fierce will to change things and take the action necessary in the inside

[kafkasgirlhood]

don't know who needs to hear this but you don't need to listen to greek-adjacent instrumental lyre/harp music to connect with the hellenic gods <- coming from someone who has been listening to bollywood movie instrumental soundtracks to meditate and connect with the hellenic gods

[idylls-of-the-divine-romance]

Honestly, the solution is to just use the correct word: heterodoxy. Not everything is heresy, for literal God's sake.

Heresy has to do with theology, heterodoxy with philosophy.

Theology, as called theosophy, is thought about God and the world based on reason, Scripture, and mystical insight. This is what separates Christianity from Jainism. Two separate religions. We literally worship different gods.

Heresy is a religious theology and/or doctrine destructive of the truth of God and his mission to the world. This is the difference between Christianity and Mormonism/Gnosticism/Adoptionism etc. Also, while I'm at it, saying something like "God hates [insert group or person]" is heresy. I love that bishop (i think) that said it's blasphemous, but he's wrong. Believing that God hates any person is not blasphemous, it is heretical for any Christian (this does not apply to Jews or Muslims; love yall, go in peace).

Doctrine is a third thing: the authoritative body of teachings, and principles accepted by a body of believers. Catholics and Protestants, for example, have different doctrines but the same theology. Same God. Same religion. So NO catholics/protestants, protestants/catholics are not heretics. You worship the same God. Deal with it.

Then you have

Philosophy is the general beliefs, concepts, attitudes, opinions, intellectual methods, and leadership of a school of thought. This is like Arminianism vs Calvinism. Sadly, no Calvinism is not heresy. They technically have the same theology as other Christians, their philosophy is just really sucky (no offense).

Heterodoxy is religious philosophy that differs from prevailing opinions and beliefs but is distinctly not heretical. So for example this would be something like Universalism or believing in Conditional Immortality (as opposed to natural immortality).

Then on the lower side of the spectrum you have something like

Tradition is the information, beliefs, and customs of a group handed down from one generation to the next. So like Anglican vs Methodist. Similar philosophy, different traditions (which is why i don't yet know which i prefer).

Preference: personal liking or interest. I have a preference against the pastor at my church because i can't stand his preaching (pray for me yall T-T)

For some final words people use wrong:

Sin: to hate or be indifferent. Let me explain: Sin comes from a word meaning "to miss the mark" or iow, to fail at a purpose. Humans were made in the image of God, God is Love, humans are made in the image of love. It is the purpose of the human to love and to create life and beauty and goodness (in whatever way God calls you to. Parenting, science, art, activism, medecine, poetry, architecture, wtv). Thus, if to sin is to fail at the purpose and the purpose of the human is to love, to sin is to fail at loving - hatred and/or indifference. This is also why homosexuality is not a sin. But if you hate gay/trans/etc people, you are in sin.

Transgression: to betray or rebell. You steal from some rando, that's sin. You steal from your brother, that's transgression. Also, for the divorce/abuse issue: transgression is listed as a reason for divorce. This means adultery, obviously. To commit adultery is to betray the person you're supposed to love. It also includes abuse. To abuse your beloved, child, friend, etc is an act of transgression against them and God.

Iniquity: wickedness, crookedness. God made something one way, you perverted it into another way. I don't feel like i need to explain this one; it's pretty on the nose. One way this is used a lot tho, is the oppression of the weak. God says we are to love the poor and the immigrant and the widow and the orphan. To oppress those groups is to pervert God's law, AND it is to make his name less holy because he attached his name to us. This is why sin, transgression, and iniquity are big deals because they chase people away from God and turn God into this monster. See: the crusades and the inquisition and the transatlantic slave trade and the war on gay people and -

Anyway. I am well aware that words don't mean things, but rather people mean things by words. But also words freaking mean things!!!

sometimes…. religious theology that’s “““heresy”““….. is better