#also never said i was straight so don’t assume my sexuality thanks

[en-dazedafterdark]

free enha from straight women you actual losers.. enha don’t want to fuck ur smelly asses😭😭😭 y’all are so damn weird

are you new to fanfiction? obviously no one here is going to fuck enha, it’s all just fiction. y’all are damn weird for taking the time to write that instead of just moving on if you find something you don’t like.

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

Do you lean more towards the view that John was irrevocably in love with Paul but this wasn’t reciprocated in the same way because Paul is straight? Hence the bitterness of John and the bewilderment of Paul during the break up and the following decade? I struggle between this view and view there was a mutual love between them. I go back and forth, my head saying the first is probably more likely but my heart finding it too heartbreaking and depressingly tragic. Then finding further ambiguous stories that swing my view back around and so on and so on. I actually find the view that it was purely platonic on both sides more comforting (for lack of a better word) than the one sided love take on things. I also struggle with the *it was all John and his many mental issues fault* discord, maybe because I find it again, too heartbreaking. But also too black and white, Paul was the saint, John was the broken one. Ah I just don’t know! It drives me insane sometimes. I just wondered if you related at all? What’s your opinions? I just love reading nuanced Mclennon takes and I very much respect yours :)

Hi anon! thanks for this ask, I really enjoy talking about this too.

I actually think you bringing up what stories we find the most comforting is too often overlooked. The distinction between what is true and what one wants to be true is important.

Personally, I think the two-sided platonic take is the least tragic – not that friendship breakups aren't incredibly sad, but in this particular case it wouldn't carry as much extra baggage. TBH, regarding the one-sided scenario, I actually find it heartbreaking from Paul's perspective specifically, because it's something I feel he would both want to know and which would be about the most upsetting thing he could possibly find out now, when it is far too late to do anything about it.

But on the other hand, I also disagree that one-sided attraction from John's side is more heartbreaking than something two-sided (assuming it was deep, not just situational mutual lusting), because I find the idea that Paul has been hiding something that huge his entire life almost disturbingly sad. I know he's a private person, but if John was some lost Great Love of his, I can't imagine it not weighing on him that he's felt the need to tiptoe around that for half a century (given he does enjoy speaking about Linda in that way). As I've said, the idea of it being one-sided is very sad to me, but there's also sort of a "well, nothing to be done about that" to it, which takes some sting out of that scenario to me. If there was a mutual attraction there, then it does to me feel viscerally upsetting if they never got to actually give that a fair shot (seeing as most people don't think John and Paul were in a committed longterm relationship, even if they think they had a multi-year sexual thing going on).

Okay, now onto what I think the truth is. Firstly, I want to reiterate: I don't know the truth, there's a lot of unknown variables at play. There's a sort of "default" most likely scenario in my head, but I try to keep as many possibilities as I can in mind.

As I've said, I have not found there to be a very compelling case that Paul is anything but straight (but I am open to the idea that he might not be). There is a very compelling case that John was not. From there, it doesn't seem like a leap to me, based on quotes, that John at some point had at least a crush on Paul. What gets murkier is assessing how relevant that was to the breakup and their relationship at large. I agree with you that saying "the breakup happened because he couldn't stand not being with Paul" is a gross simplification, as is "John was Mentally Ill™, thus breakup". But dismissing either of those things as at least co-factors in the breakup seems unwise to me.

I feel like understanding John's journey with internalized homophobia would be relevant here. Even if by the time the band broke up he was no longer "down bad" for Paul, I can't help but feel like, if John was generally feeling negative about his attraction to men, that he would project that onto a former male love interest of his, especially if he was already mad at Paul for other reasons (business and music-related). I talked about how primal therapy specifically might have exacerbated this here (though bear in mind: I no longer would use the term 'conversion therapy' to describe primal, just because people tend to misunderstand the details and sensationalize this chapter in John's life).

Looking at John's breakup behaviour, I'm also somewhat reminded of this guy from my high school who went from very obviously crushing on me to very openly and repeatedly voicing his disgust with me. Is that to ensure nobody gets "the wrong idea"? Is it needing to convince yourself your feelings weren't real or that moving on is the right answer? I'm not sure.

Furthermore, Yoko did basically tell Norman that she thought John was partially extremely angry at Paul post-breakup because he felt sexually rejected by him. Like. That's a thing John's widow, who was there at the time, said lol, though I'm not actually opposed to the idea that maybe Yoko is kind of an overly enthusiastic shipper herself and has maybe even read more into it than was there. But I also can't just dismiss her when she is basically the single most knowledgable source on John.

Lastly, even though I think it's quite possible that John had an unrequited sexual and romantic attraction towards Paul, I don't think I'd claim Paul loved John less. I think Paul was kind of obsessed with John,* and still is in some sense (though the reasons for that are far more complicated and related to 1) the senseless tragedy of John's death and 2) Paul basically having to act as a sounding board for everyone on earth's grief for John).

Not that this fact would necessarily have been all that comforting to John at the time, but I kind of reject the premise that it's completely tragic because their relationship was built on a mutual love, even if it wasn't always compatible in that way.

*I also kind of think Paul probably enjoyed the attention John gave him, even if (or perhaps because) he didn't realize what John's intentions were.

Does that all make sense?

[autumnleaf1111]

I can just imagine Ranpo coming out to Fukuzawa and introducing Poe as his boyfriend and Fukuzawa would be confused because he thought he was already out. Ranpo would be trying so hard to hold back tears as he try’s to tell him his sexuality, but fails miserably.

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

Fukuzawa…?” Ranpo said while slowly peaked into Fukuzawa’s office, making sure he was actually in there. “Ranpo? What’s the matter?” Ranpo fell silent for a moment, avoiding Fukuzawa’s by looking around the room. “You can come in the room, you know?” Fukuzawa reassured him. Ranpo glanced over his shoulder, as if silently communicating with someone that Fukuzawa couldn't see behind the door. Ranpo hesitantly opened the door to walk in, Fukuzawa taking a quick notice to Poe anxiously stepping in behind him. “Is everything alright?” Fukuzawa asked. Ranpo and Poe glance at each other. “There’s something I’ve wanted you to know for a while…” Ranpo said, keeping his gaze at the ground. Poe places his hand on Ranpo's head and raises it. “It’ll be alright, Ranpo.” Poe reassured him.

Fukuzawa patiently watched in confusion. “What’s wrong Ranpo?” Fukuzawa asked, standing up. “Um…so, I have two things to tell you.” Ranpo slightly paled while he started explaining. Fukuzawa stepped forward waiting for Ranpo to continue. “Well— first I wanted to tell you that I’m attracted to boys…” Ranpo said. voice quivering and low, tears welling up as he turned his head away from Fukuzawa. Fukuzawa remained silent, unsure of what to say. “Please, just say something.” Ranpo mumbled. Fukuzawa then stretched his arms out for the other to hug him.

Ranpo hesitated for a moment, tears spilling out as he quickly embraced Fukuzawa. “It’s alright Ranpo, thank you for being comfortable to tell me.” Fukuzawa said quietly. “Y-you’re not disappointed…?” “I could never be disappointed, your sexuality doesn’t change who you are.” Fukuzawa reassured him. “Shit, I honestly thought you’d be disgusted with me.” Ranpo muttered. “You liking boys is a terrible reason for someone to be disgusted by you.” Fukuzawa said, rubbing Ranpos back. “Thank you, Fukuzawa.” Ranpo said. “So, what was the other thing you wanted to tell me?” Fukuzawa asked, letting Ranpo go. “Right— There was a reason I told you my sexual preference first because I’m dating a guy…” Ranpo said.

“I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that the guy you’re talking about is Poe?” Fukuzawa asked. “How did you know—” Ranpo replied. “Well, he’s here with you so I figured you would be telling me you two are dating.” Fukuzawa said, causing Poe and Ranpo’s faces to go red. “Am I right?” “Yeah, we’ve been dating for a few months.” Ranpo said. Poe grabbed his hand and held it tightly. “I’m gonna be honest, I thought you two were dating after the first 2 minutes of seeing you interact.” Fukuzawa said. “Oh…” Ranpo didn’t know what else to say. “You also talk about him nonstop so I just assumed you were together.” Fukuzawa inquired. “Okay, well that’s all I wanted to let you know so— we are gonna go now.” Ranpo said, trying to leave the room. “Ranpo, you can leave but I do wanna have a quick chat with Poe for a moment.” Fukuzawa with a smile. “Please, Don’t scare him too severely…” Ranpo muttered to him before walking out, leaving just Poe and Fukuzawa.

Poe nervously looked at Fukuzawa through his bangs. “What is it that you need to speak to me about?” Poe hesitantly asked Fukuzawa. “What are your intentions with Ranpo.” He asked, straight faced. Poe paled at Fukuzawa’s gaze. “I’d like to make Ranpo happy and show him that my feelings are genuine.” Poe mumbled out, scared to look away from Fukuzawa. “Hm…how long have you had feelings for Ranpo?” Fukuzawa asked, narrowing his eyes. “6 years.” Poe said.

“You What?!” They both heard Ranpo yell, then seeing him walk through the door. “You’ve been in love with me for 6 years?!” “Ranpo, I already told you this…” Poe said. “You have? When?” “It was one of the things we discussed when we talked about our feelings.” Poe explained. “Oh yeah…” Ranpo managed to remember. “Alright, let’s go Ed! Bye Fukuzawa!” Ranpo took Poe’s hand and exited the room.

[illarian-rambling]

*in the most elegant, immaculate handwriting imaginable*

Dear Elsind,

I saw your column, and am in fact rather in need of advice. I’ve tried asking my good friend Amelia, but she just laughs uproariously every time I do, so I’ve given up on getting a straight answer from her.

I recently got a new coworker at my workplace, and he’s… very attractive, to say the least. His name is Merry, and he’s absolutely lovely. We’ve become fast friends, and I’ll admit I’m developing a bit of a crush on him. Luckily, the place I work is very unbothered by workplace relationships, but I have a lot of other problems.

First of all, I believe I may have mentioned I’m married in front of him. While my husbands wouldn’t mind me seeing him as well, I know a lot of pirates (oh, yes, context: I am a pirate) are very disapproving of polyamory and I don’t know how he’d react. I’m also asexual, and I’m not sure how he’d react to that either, since my people (I’m a siren) are generally stereotyped as seductive and expected to behave in a very certain way.

That being said, I keep feeling like he’s flirting with me. By pirate standards, he’s absolutely not. But he’s consistently started dressing more colourfully and elegantly and going out of his way to ask me what I think of his outfit. He’s also given me a few small trinkets he found at the market. Both of these are significant signifiers of flirting in my culture, and even though I know he couldn’t possibly know my cultural signifiers of flirting, I can’t help but feel like it means something.

Any advice you have would be welcome. If he is flirting with me, I’d love to see where it goes - he’s really a wonderful man (and I’ll admit I might have been dressing up for him a bit too). But if he isn’t interested, I’d hate to make him uncomfortable having to work on the same ship as me every day, especially since I outrank him (I’d never pressure him into anything, and Amelia would kill me if I did, but I can’t be sure he knows that). I’m not certain how best to proceed.

Much thanks,

Malcolm Lee

*In passibly legible cursive, hearts dotting all the I's*

Thanks so much for writing in, Malcolm!

This is a delicate situation you've found yourself in, but also, I think, a great opportunity. You're right - even in such a relaxed environment, coworker relationships can be tough. It gets messy when rank factors in, and if you ever break up, then you're just stuck seeing them everyday anyways.

But things are looking up for you! It would be quite the coincidence if Merry out of nowhere started engaging in siren flirting behaviors (I'm assuming your word for siren is different from mine, as the siren flirting I'm familiar with involves quite a few more human sacrifices). However, if I was a strapping pirate trying to show interest in my siren shipmate, I would read up on how sirens flirt and try to get him to take the hint. It's a really caring thing to do and a total green flag, in my opinion. Of course, yes, it could be a coincidence, but that's the boring answer!

As for the polyamory and asexuality, that's a conversation you're going to have to have up front with him. Make sure, if he is interested in seeing you, that he understands the possible risks involved. Also, definitely introduce him to your husbands. I don't know your exact situation, but all the polycules I've seen work best when every member is on friendly terms with the others. Asexuality is also something to talk about right off the bat. Make sure he's aware of your boundaries, especially when he might assume otherwise due to racial stereotypes. I can relate to you there - changelings are frequently assumed to be promiscuous due to a tendency to wear attractive faces as a social shield and a history of sexual exploitation. In my relationships, though I'm not asexual, I do have some strict boundaries when it comes to intimacy, and I find it best to be clear about these from the get-go. It's a good way to establish trust early on and also to use as a litmus test for your partner's respect for you. If your Merry is truly a worthwhile lover, he'll understand.

Ultimately, I think you should go for it! To me, it seems like he's trying to be subtle, but he's definitely interested in you. Maybe ask him out for a late-night picnic on the deck (I don't know anything about ships) and spill your heart there. I wish you luck, whatever you decide to do!

Ever your friend,

Elsind Cavernsight

(From this ask game)

[my-castles-crumbling]

Soooo, i’ve been following u for a while (adore ur microfics btw ❤️) and now I require advice… thankfully you’re good at that. 

So i’m straight. And i’ve fallen in love with this guy. He’s adorable and sweet and brave and honestly the best person I know. I met him about a month and a half ago at a work thing (he doesn’t work where I work tho, not that it matters) and we’ve been dating ever since. 

We haven’t done anything sex related yet (don’t worry this isn’t abt that). But the other day I decided we should talk about it, because he seemed super bothered by the idea (i had a hunch he might’ve been ace, which I was fine with) but it turns out it’s not that, he’s trans. 

He told me he transitioned pretty young, and that he’s had top surgery but not bottom. I reassured him this doesn’t change anything, cause it doesn’t, but to be honest, i’ve never really been around trans people? I know queer people but i’ve never had a trans friend or anything. So i’m worried about how to do this right. 

I assume it’s best to just be normal? Sex has never really mattered to me that much, so I guess in that regard i’ll just go with the flow of whatever. But I just thought, is there anything I should know or think about? 

I think this could be a really great relationship, we want the same things and get on so well. 

Maybe i’m being panicky, trying to make sure I don’t do anything that could hurt him. He asked me if it was okay that he’s trans because i’m straight. I told him that I love him and I don’t doubt that. And that I still feel straight. I still love a man. I wouldn’t really aline my sexuality with genitals anyway? 

I don’t know. I’m nervous I guess. I’ve been in plenty of different types of relationships. Good and bad. And I just don’t want to mess up or make him uncomfortable or not notice a hint he’s trying to give me? 

Look tbh I don’t totally know what i’m asking but like- advice? Please? Thanks Cas ❤️

AHHHH I think this is so cute. The fact that you're being thoughtful enough to ask is UGH. SO sweet.

So, you're ABSOLUTELY right. Sexuality has to do with gender, not body parts. So you're a girl (I'm assuming) and you're straight. Meaning you're attracted to boys. And this person, trans or not, is a boy. Simple! The fact that he is worried about your reaction is probably because he's experienced transphobia in the past. For this, just remind him that you see him as a boy, regardless of his body parts.

Trans people can deal with something called 'dysphoria' meaning they are uncomfortable (physically or mentally) because they feel like their expression or body doesn't match the gender they identify as. Dysphoria can be caused by anything - looking in the mirror and seeing something they don't like, a comment from someone else (even unintentional), or intimacy (amongst other things).

As far as sex, I'm going to break my rules here and give you some advice because I think it's important.

Sex could cause dysphoria. It's super important to note that every trans person is different. Some experience extreme dysphoria, others just a bit, others none at all! The same thing is true with intimacy- every trans person (just like cis people) has different preferences with intimacy. But this is especially true because for some trans people, intimacy could cause dysphoria because you're interacting with body parts that are normally not as...interacted with, lol.

Because of this, its super important to communicate. Ask him what he's comfortable with. What does he/doesn't he want you to touch? If you're going to use dirty talk, does he prefer certain terms for his body parts?

But here's the thing- communication is important for good, healthy sex anyways. And for a healthy relationship. And it's much better to just ask. Asking questions isn't wrong, and it shows that you don't want to make him uncomfortable. It could also be a great idea to make it clear what you've said to me- you see him as a boy, you don’t want to mess up or make him uncomfortable or not notice a hint he’s trying to give you.

Keep the communication open and everything will be fine <3

I'm going to name you adoring anon in case you write again!

[twopoppies]

Hey Gina! I don’t exactly know how to talk about this so i apologise if it’s worded weird, but I wanted to talk about polari! :) Also want to quickly preface by saying A.) I am a part of the LGBTQ+ community, B.) while I’m not English, I am Scottish (Glasgow) and we use some of the same slang as (specifically Northern) England & C.) I have a lot of hetero English friends who know absolutely nothing about polari.

(Quickly before I start as u/ppl may find this annoying; I’ve said Scottish separately as a lot of Scottish ppl, myself included, don’t like being referred to as English/British as majority of us are currently wanting & trying to gain independence from the U.K. lol & I included British instead of just Scotland/England as I’m not sure if it’s used anywhere else in great britian/the UK - please say if it is! :D )

I’m not sure if you’ve seen this too but I see quite a lot of people saying that Louis solely knowing/using polari speech is proof/semi-proof of him being queer or knowing queer history - I have to completely disagree with this.

Polari is used very commonly (some examples I can think of off the top of my head are bevvy, lallies and naff as I use them quite a lot.) in day-to-day conversation in scotland/england (as I mentioned, I have hetero english friends and they use polari ALL THE TIME, like they use only refer to a alcohol/drinks as bevvy, and have no absolutely no idea that it IS in fact polari..). People use it without even knowing what it is, especially those who are lower/working class and/or neds/chavs (which Louis seems to use as? Or want to be perceived as?) and are more likely to use slang. I guarantee you that if you were to go down to England (especially the north) and asked what bevvy meant, they’d almost 100% be able to tell you what means - but they won’t know the origins of the word, they’d just think it’s slang (they probably wouldn’t even know it’s used in Scotland too LOL).

I’ve seen absolutely no other scottish/english/british person talk about this so I feel like majority of the people speaking about polari are Americans (not all & not only, of course, but I feel like they majority of larries are American? Haha) who don’t actually use it or understand it’s use in modern day England/Scotland/U.K. and that’s why they’re saying that he must be queer to use it because they think that it’s not used anymore when it actually is! :)

I’m so sorry if this is a complete jumble of words, I’m absolutely horrible at writing my thoughts down hahah! I pray you understand what I’m trying to say. I hope this isn’t coming across as rude or mean. I’m not meaning it that way at all. Also, this isn’t meant to be a dig at Americans/non-scottish/english/great British folk either, it’s completely normal that you wouldn’t know this! :)

Sorry again hahaha I’ve been thinking about this for a really long time and have been dying to get this off my chest !! + I haven’t used tumblr in years so if the layout/format(??) is weird, apologies for that too, I’m also on mobile :( Thank u (if u do) for reading my long ass ramble lol :D I just wanted to shed some light on this.

Hi, honey. I think assuming Louis’ sexuality only based on him being aware of/using Polari is pretty silly. As you say, straight people in your part of the world use certain words regularly without being aware of it.

As always, I think one has to take many behaviors and actions into consideration when wondering if Louis (or anyone) is signaling. There’s a difference between using certain words that have become common, and knowing what Polari is. Him wearing that brand goes hand in hand with many instances of him wearing clothing that sent a message (for example, wearing the All Out, Queen’s Surf, and Rainbow Apple logo shirts). At that time, he seemed to be very calculated about what messages he sent through clothing. I think Polari was one of many instances of Louis signaling being a part of the community. But I’d never look at that as an isolated instance and think that.

[real-total-drama-takes]

https://www.tumblr.com/real-total-drama-takes/734732364749602816/nemma-is-bad-because-theyre-turning-noah

Posted this on my account in like two different contexts already haha but I think it belongs here the most (long ass response incoming)

I’m sorry, but I had to respond to this take. The most important thing I think I need to clarify about this rant is that Noah is not confirmed to be attracted to men. Hell, he’s been confirmed to not be gay more times than the opposite. Which isn’t great. Another significant point I use is that it’s very obvious that Noah is gay coded/a gay stereotype. Throughout this rant I will be referring to him as “gay coded”. Go on Reddit or something if you want to research that, but I very strongly believe in that and I think it’s pretty clear through just watching the show. Now, onto my criticism of this take…

“Nemma is bad because it makes Noah straight” is a perfectly logical argument to make. Noah is never confirmed to be attracted to men, so confirming that he is attracted to women doesn’t make him bi. It confirms that he is attracted to women. When a character in a tv show is only confirmed to be attracted to women, they are assumed to be straight. Of course he can be bi. Any character who doesn’t have their sexuality explicitly stated can be bi. However, giving your gay coded (but said to not be) character a girlfriend does not make them “bi coded”, it makes them straight. Nemma is making Noah straight. Any “gay representation” that you could imagine he served is eradicated by giving him an opposite gender partner. “Nemma is bad because it makes Noah straight” is a reasonable criticism to have of the ship because both parts of it can be true. It’s understandable to not like a ship because it ‘straight codes’ a gay coded character in a show that has no real queer representation. (obviously not including the reboot, which I think showed representation fantastically. There’s another post on here by someone about how Bowie calling himself the first *openly* gay contestant means a lot... I’ll try to find it later.)

I also think it’s important to clarify that I personally don’t hate Nemma. I like both Emma and Noah as characters, I feel neutral on it most of the time, I enjoy some content of it, and ship hate is something I’ve never been a fan of. But I personally do not feel very positively about it being canon in the show. I mean absolutely no hatred towards the shippers. If you have any complaints or arguments about what I’ve said here, feel free to tell me. I’m not that much of an expert, and I should probably be sleeping right now, so I doubt this is as well-worded as I would like it to be.

Ummm that’s it! No hate to op ofc, these are just my thoughts on the issue. Thanks for reading!

.

[louisisalarrie]

Lmao about to jump on your bbg discussion here. My issue with the scenario of ending with a paternity test has always been that GP will always still believe that he at the very least, slept with a woman. I was under the impression during 1D years, particularly the later years with RBB, that H and L wanted to eventually come out as a couple, thus the hinting about Larry. Obviously things can change over the years and perhaps they don't want that anymore, but if they do, then the only way to actually do that and have it make sense is to literally tell the truth as the ending. Like a legit tell all about being forced into the closet, the beards, the fake pregnancy, everything. Because he can't logically say "I thought this hookup gave me a kid for the past 8 years" and "H and I have been together since 2010" and not have people be ??? But do you think coming out with the legit truth is ever possibility at all? Or no matter what, will people always think some aspects of the stunts were true? As I said though, maybe H and L don't really care at this point, they know larries know the truth? Just something I've thought about a lot!

Helloooo anon! Lovely to hear your thoughts and thanks for joining in the discussion! I’ll try and break this down a bit into main points so I don’t ramble about everything all at once and it ends up illegible hehe.

Alrighty, so I think that the GP always thinking louis had slept with a woman because of bbg ending in a paternity result is what it is. As long as it stops the stunt, that’s what matters to him and to us. This is a Step 1 of the coming out process, and once those headlines die down about it, then it’s deciding how H and L come out. In my opinion, there are a few ways this could go after bbg ends:

a) harry comes out first, Louis comes out months later (long enough for it to not be immediately connected by gp), then they start being seen together and a “new” relationship between them is seeded and say they’ve never been together until now

b) louis and harry come out together in a relationship, say they’ve never been together until now

c) louis and harry come out together in a relationship, say they’ve been together since 1d, and expose all the stunts by breaking their NDAs

Now… all 3 of these options work with the narrative of a paternity test. In all options, they are still able to define their sexuality as whatever they want it to be when they come out, but will obviously lean towards both of them at least having previous interest in women. Louis could be like “yeah I always thought I was straight but I did some soul searching and realised I’m gay” and harry could stick with the assumption held by the GP already that he is bi, or say something similar to the above.

I assume option A is how things are gonna go, because B links too closely to C and doesn’t line up with the current narrative of them being weirdos on opposite sides of the planet to each other at all times lol. Ideally, option C would be extremely satisfying and would give both of them incredible PR, and bring S*mon and co to their knees, but that truly depends on what H and L think they wanna do, and how big of a war they wanna keep fighting.

Hear me out here now… I’ve talked about multiple ways to end bbg in the past, but what if Louis was just like.. a sperm donor? Very early on in bbg there was a theory that B was a surrogate for H and L, but that definitely doesn’t add up. This theory, however, would require louis to come out at the same time as bbg ending, all in one go, and it also keeps F as his son which isn’t ideal, but separates him more from it in terms of sexuality. But hear me out… what if there was a headline that looked like this?

“Louis Tomlinson announces he donated his sperm in generous act for good friend B whose long term partner struggled with fertility issues”

While this headline looks a bit funny to us, I think the GP won’t question it thaaaaat much. His direct non larrie fans would, because they have seen AOTV, they’ve seen louis call F his son multiple times, but… in this narrative, he IS his son, he’s just not having sex with women because he’s gay lol, and he’s just a sweet guy, ya know? And things could be broken down a little like:

“Tomlinson, 32, says that he loves F and was happy to help B out as he’d always wanted to be a father himself, but has announced to the world just this morning, that he is in fact gay.”

It’s frustrating because in a way, it ends bbg, but it also keeps F connected to Louis to a degree. Ugh. Idk. But that is how you would ensure that the GP don’t have proof that louis has had vaginal sex anymore.

To your point about harry and louis doing a tell all, it would rock the music industry like crazy. Imagine it!!! There would be a million other celebs wanting to come out and share their stories of how badly they’re treated too, and people would be on Larry’s side. It would be powerful. It would help stop what happened to them, happen to other young gay kids. And it would ruin S*mons life, which I love. But… I think a tell all will happen, but not for a long time. I would love it to happen now, trust me I would, but I feel they’re still in too much of a sticky situation with bbg and Harry’s stunts.

I think larry see what we say, they love that we know, and they care a lot about us. But truly I think they’d love to show the world their true colours. Harry’s dancing with pride flags and is MUCH more free now in expressing himself, and I think he would actually wait for louis to be in a position where they can come out together, to take the heat off just one of them doing it. I think they’d love to walk down the street and hold hands and be cute, because they were told for so many years they couldn’t. And being told you can’t, makes you really want to. So I think they’ll do it together, and I think they want to. In saying this though, I do agree with the theory that they decided to put coming out on the back burner for a little bit while they enjoyed their tours and let the dust settle a bit after so much happening, and are just enjoying their private love life while they’re older and have a bit more freedom. But they’ll come back with a vengeance, and they’ll come out together. I’m sure of it xx

(Also sorry I totally rambled)

[internetgiraffekid1673]

Hey giraffe! Saw you reblogged the post about random asks to get to know you better, so I thought I’d ask ☺️ (if it’s too personal, I won’t be offended if you don’t want to answer): When did you realize you were ace/aro, and do you identify with any micro labels?

Thanks for asking! Not offensive at all!

First off, yeah, I do use microlabels. I'm sex-repulsed or apothisexual and romance-indifferent or icularomantic. That basically means I want absolutely nothing to do with sex and wouldn't touch it with a 39 and a half foot pole, but I'm chill with romance. I don't actively seek out a romantic relationship or anything, but I'm not upset or weirded out by the idea of being in a romantic relationship.

I realized I was ace and that I was aro sort of separately, and I don't think I really had a single "AHA!" moment for either.

The first time my orientation really even crossed my mind was my sophomore year of high school when a girl in my orchestra class pulled me aside randomly one day and asked what my sexuality was. I had never had a crush or any sort of feelings for anybody before, but I kind of just assumed it would come at some point. Before that moment, I would have just said I was straight, but something about how she asked the question made me pause and think about it. I eventually told her, "I don't know. I've never felt that way about anyone before."

It kind of went to the back of my mind until my junior year when I started watching Overly Sarcastic Productions on YouTube. One of the main content creators there, Red, is openly asexual. That was the first time I had ever heard the term or heard of someone else who'd never had those feelings, and I found I related to a lot of her experiences. I think, over the course of that year, I slowly started applying the "maybe I'm ace" mindset, and it really did fit. It felt right, and by my senior year, I was just like "yeah, I'm asexual."

The thing is, it wasn't really important enough for me at the time to go digging on everything that meant. I had a word to explain how I felt, and I didn't really feel the need for anything else at the time. It didn't help that my religion is queerphobic (I'm not. Most individuals I know are not, but the policies as a whole are, and it's a thing that drives us all crazy. You can find more information about it on the queerstake or tumblrstake tags). I lived in a very small rural town that was pretty much all that religion too, so between those two things, nobody really learned about queer stuff unless they were queer and went looking or had queer friends who talked about it. And since I wasn't super close with any other queer people at that point and didn't know much about the queer community in general, I wasn't really aware that aromanticism and asexuality were two separate things.

It wasn't until sometime in the summer after I graduated that I was made aware of the distinction. I didn't feel the outright repulsion to romance as I did sex, but I had also never felt romantic attraction and had no desire for a romantic relationship, so I wasn't really sure where I was with that. Like, I knew for sure I was ace, but I didn't know enough about the arospec to really know how I felt about identifying that way. So I adopted "grayromantic" for that period of time.

When I went to college, I suddenly met a LOT of queer people, and was online a lot more. This meant I had the opportunity to be in a community of aspecs for the first time, and I ended out finding a YouTube video that went over the intricacies over the arospec and some of it's microlabels. But I also wasn't out to anybody yet, so I felt like I could take my time coming up with a label that fit me better.

Finally, I got a roommate second semester who was bisexual and who I talked to a lot. Eventually, I had a conversation with her about my aromanticism, and she was like, "Honey, you've never had a fictional crush. You ARE aromantic." And I was like, "Huh. I guess you're right."

So I've been actively identifying as fully aroace for about 5 months now, which is also coincidentally when I started using Tumblr, but I actually just found my microlabels 10 days ago! I made a long rambling post (like I do) about how I experience love, and was given some suggestions by the lovely @aroacemagicstar! So all the thanks to them!

Again, thanks for asking me!

[ginnsbaker]

Ginny baby I’m having a mini-crisis

I think I like my best friend and I don’t know how to go about getting rid of this. I’ve known her for 7 years and throughout that time I’ve had two separate occasions where I developed feelings for her, first time not that serious but I can’t say that about the second time. Admittedly the second time I surely panicked briefly but the feelings faded both times, what always followed after was that I’d feel insane for even believing I could feel that way about her in the first place.

BUT now it’s back and I’m in a sort of denial about it? I talked about it with another author here before but we ultimately chalked it down to it just being attraction. Now I’m scared that’s not the case?

Last night I went clubbing with some close friends but I ran into (let’s call her Wanda I guess?) while waiting in the line to get in. Wanda looked so damn good, I’m already shorter than her normally but she’d was in all black wearing her platform shoes along with a skirt and a blouse. Wanda and I are touchy drunks(with other friends too) but the way that we’d been last night had me feeling something. Whenever Wanda and I would talk, we’d lean our bodies closer together and start talking directly into each others ears, her hands finding mine after the start of every sentence- one would assume we were doing that because we couldn’t hear one another but it wasn’t loud and when we’d talk to the people around us we’d stay firmly in place. Wanda went out with three friends and one of them was this guy who I knew liked her, I thoroughly enjoyed the fact that he saw me holding her and talking to her in a way that looked intimate.

I didn’t really think much of it last night cause I’d been focused on having a great time, but now that it’s day I’ve realized all of that really put a different angle to the perspective I once had about what I was feeling and why. I hate it, i want it to go away because I’ll always prioritize maintaining our friendship above anything else, this is not something I’ll ever admit to anybody I know but I guess I’m saying all this because I wanted to ask if you’ve ever been in a similar situation and how did you cope? How did it play out for you?

Somebody once told me it might only be attraction and a gauge that I could use to see if it was is imagining a future with them and I wish they hadn’t said that. I’d genuinely believed it was just attraction but I’ve been thinking about that question all day today, the answer to that question has my heart racing at the imagination of it all, but I swear I’d been indifferent to it when I’d first been asked.

The less I think about it, the more I ignore it, the less it feels real so thanks for letting me rant to you gonna go back to gaslighting myself out of this(SI SE PUEDE). Needed to get all this off my chest. 😮‍💨

omg sorry I was already asleep when this went in.

*wears calliope's hat* before we proceed i have a couple of questions:

how long have you known you're attracted to your bestfriend? was it even before you were friends?

have you been in relationships with other women?

(disclaimer: im not a therapist of any sort im just experienced when it comes to being gay cause ive been gay since i was 2 and now im almost thirty lol)

I'm assuming she's straight? so here's my #1 piece of advice is: NEVER FALL FOR STRAIGHT GIRLS

fine, there might be few instances where falling for straight girls will eventually shake their sexuality and give us a shot, but dude, that very rarely happens. Fics, movies, tv series love to portray them often but in reality.... NO.

Feelings for bestfriends WILL pass. I assure you that. Cause yea, I've been in your shoes. I met my best friend in college during sophomore year, and we were from different groups of friends and I intentionally got to know her because I had a crush on her (turns out later on, she also has a crush on me, but it's the type of crush where she finds me pretty so it's basically straight people crush). She had a boyfriend when we became close/bestfriends and I was hang up on her for two years before the feelings finally went away.

Now she's married, and she's still my bestfriend and everytime I think about the past where I was very attracted to her, I'd laugh.

I coped by just letting it run its course. And definitely being interested in someone else helps. Go out there, meet new people, get to know new people. You have the luxury of using a dating app without being judged for it (in the 2010s that's not the case).

Again, whenever possible: DO NOT FALL FOR STRAIGHT GIRLS

The less I think about it, the more I ignore it, the less it feels real so thanks for letting me rant to you gonna go back to gaslighting myself out of this(SI SE PUEDE). - Dude, keep thinking about it. exhaust yourself. go through the drama and the wonderful feeling of being attracted to somebody. it's all part of life. accept that you have feelings for her and then decide: 1- if you want to pursue it 2- if you want to let it pass.

I decided not to pursue it because she's really straight despite the fact that she's touchy and back in college, i'm the only one she'd ever sleep in her apartment and we kissed like 1-2 times on the lips (yes straight girls dont mind)

But in the future, lemme repeat: DO NOT FALL FOR STRAIGHT GIRLS

[my-strange-attraction]

ok so I’m aroace and have identified as such for a while, but I am also a hopeless romantic and want to be in a relationship and I’ve recently been talking to this guy that I am interested in, but I don’t know how I should breach the topic of my lack of romantic interest in people. To my knowledge, he is straight and interested in me romantically, and I care about him and have no romantic feelings for him too, enough to want a relationship with him. Do you have any advice for how I can start this conversation with him because I think he has assumed I like him romantically?

Thanks for the ask!

To be honest, the answer to this one is less of an answer than I think you might hope for, because due to the lack of deep understanding in general society about aspec identities, there's a chance that even if you explain your aromanticism to the best of your abilities, he may not understand exactly what you're trying to say.

I know and you know that relationships are weird things, and one person can see it as romantic even if the other doesn't, and you can still have a great time and enjoy the same activities as a fully romantic (or fully platonic) couple. However, most people, if told that someone doesn't like them romantically, will assume that a relationship is off the table, or at the very least will assume that you like them less than they like you.

It depends on how well this guy knows and understands the aro label and community (for example: does he know about qprs?) and also depends on how open you two tend to be in discussions about identity and life philosophy. If this isn't a topic you've already broached (without talking about your own connection to it, I mean) or a topic you would be likely to broach, I would say hold off for a bit.

I know it can feel sometimes like a lie to keep a part of your identity from somebody, especially someone who you would want to be in a close relationship with. However, you have to ask yourself if your label is so important to you that you would risk not being able to have a relationship with this guy.

For example, I am definitely arospec to some degree, but if I were to enter into a relationship with someone who doesn't know so much about the community, I might hold off a bit on letting on that I don't feel romantic attraction to them. It's not a part of my label that I'm so attached to that I need to hold onto it really tightly, and it's not something everybody needs to know about me. It's not a lie to not tell this person, it's just avoiding a misunderstanding in the early stages of relationship.

Obviously the ultimate goal of a relationship (for most people) is to share everything with each other, or at least feel comfortable to do so. However, sometimes when you're just starting a relationship, it's better to smooth it over if it's not something that will cause a big issue and tell them later on when you're both more secure in the relationship.

Although, to answer your original question (oops, I rambled again!), when you do broach the topic, if you do, my biggest tip would be to not do it all at once. Make sure they know about the aro community, make sure they know about the different types of attraction, make sure they know about qprs, and make sure they know that no actions are inherently romantic, sexual, sensual, etc, it's all based on intention. Once he has a good understanding of all that, then I think telling him about you won't be as scary as it might otherwise be to someone who likes you romantically.

All that said, I have never been in a relationship, known a person I want to be in a relationship with, or pursued a relationship, so all of this is theoretical knowledge from what I know from TV and my own platonic relationships. Stick with your gut on the situation, and everything will turn out as it was meant to. As always, any followers are welcome to chime in with more advice! I hope this all helps, anon, and hopefully didn't hurt your eyes too much from the sheer volume of it! I had a lot to say, I guess, haha.

[munsons-melody]

steve isn’t coded queer, but it’s undeniable that there are signifiers of eddie being queer, the biggest one being the bandana in his back pocket. hanky code was used in the 70s and 80s to signify certain queer sexual proclivities. i think it’s unlikely that this detail would have missed by a costuming team that specializes in 80s attire, especially based on the research they put into eddie specifically because he was part of a very specific subculture. i think people are entitled to believing what they want about his character, but the default for a character should never be heterosexual. just because a character hasn’t explicitly shown interest in the same sex or uttered the words “i’m gay” doesn’t mean they should be assumed to be straight. all of this to say is that i think joseph quinn has electric chemistry with all of his costars, and people can draw their own conclusions based on what they notice or enjoy. also, attraction to a woman doesn’t mean you can’t also be attracted to men, bisexuality exists. there’s something to be said about how rude it is of nancy to be leading steve on anyways, but that’s a separate thing.

hi! thanks for your input! like i’ve said in my last posts, everyone is entitled to believe what they want to believe about characters, ships, and their sexualities, and, like i said, I personally do not believe steddie is real

i also do not believe steve is bisexual or gay (like I’ve said) due to the heavy amount of what was in the show of him, being in love with women, being a “womanizer”, always flirting with women, being in love with nancy, etc. 

but when it comes to eddie, the bandana thing is valid, however in his novel Flight of Icarus (that is canon) he does sleep with a woman- so there is the potential he could be bisexual, and I’m not saying that’s not real- but also saying that someone watching the show who doesn’t know about the fashion choice of a bandanna and what it symbolizes in the 70s and 80s would gloss over that

we didn’t get much screen time with eddie, bottom line is that the only facts about a sexuality that we know about come from his book when he does sleep with a woman which means he can either be straight or bisexual but again, we don’t know for sure

when it comes to my last few posts, i’m mostly talking about the fact that some people are pushing for the idea that canonically steven and eddie are in love, they’re both gay, and they’re dating each other

and like you said, joseph quinn has a lot of chemistry with his co-stars with the little screen time that eddie had, however, people shouldn’t be basing the characters feelings for each other based off what a character does with their very little screen time, and in this case, eddie had like one or two short conversations with steve about real life that wasn’t about the upside down- when he was telling him to get nancy back, and when they were discussing going to the war zone -> so in this case people shouldn’t be assuming that eddie is in love with steve or his sexuality is anything more than straight or possibly bi, just because joseph quinn himself had great chemistry with joe keery 

[matan4il]

Hi, love your blog, this became kinda long sorry 😅

I just wanted to say that maybe it’s just me but I’ve never really had hope for buddie to be confirmed in the first place. Like I do ship them and if they did become canon I would be very happily surprised but really it’s just never something I’ve entertained as a possibility because we just don’t get ships like this imo. There’s a few exceptions even if I can’t think about this right now but when a character’s introduced as straight or nothing has been said so usually assumed straight and then fandom ships them with an equally assumed straight person the show and networks and all that don’t want them together because they’re ‘normal straight people’.

Like in LS from the beginning TK’s introduced with a bf he wants to propose to, they don’t lose their ‘normal’ character (obvs it is normal to be whatever flavour of queer you are but idk how to word it better) since that was him from the start.

Also if it’s acknowledged that all the buddie moments were building up to a romantic relationship then it sheds light on other similar relationships in other shows or films that we were ridiculed for shipping when really it’s not so different. I really don’t know if I got my point across here and I’m sorry this got so long winded, maybe I’m just a cynic but I think my buddie dreams will have to be contented with fanfiction.

Btw I don’t mean this to be mean to you or anyone who does believe buddie will go canon in the show I just accidentally typed out this rant that was meant to be a short ask.

Hi Nonnie, thank you so much for the kind words! Kindness always mean so much to me, there is nothing I appreciate as much... Sending you tons of love!

So, I fully agree with everything you said. I've mentioned before that there are almost no slow burns for mlm couples on TV. A part of that is that shows need to show they meet the diversity quota from the start. So we tend to get either pre-established same sex couples (like Henren), or quick burns, where we know from the start where this is going (like Mavid and Tarlos). Even if we have a character assumed straight that's gonna be discovered to be something else (gay or, more rarely, bi), that will be something we the audience will discover pretty early on. Shows don't like rocking the boat, they don't like threatening audiences' sense of security when it comes to sexual orientation. But there are exceptions! BIG round of applause to Black Sails for being the most brilliant about it with men, if we expand to women, I can also point to Callie Torres and Erica Hahn on Grey's Anatomy, who were both introduced as straight, became best friends and then slowly, realized they were into each other. Callie figured out she was bi, while Erica was hit by a realization she was always gay, she just didn't know she was because until she was with a woman, she couldn't tell something was missing in her r/s with men.

My point isn't to convince you, BTW! I think it is SUPER legit if you don't think Buddie is going canon. It is SUPER legit to think they are. It is SUPER legit to be confused, unsure, go back and forth or not give a damn. Wherever you're at, I support you, and I think your enjoyment in fandom is what matters! I also think you specifically have a slight advantage: if you don't need Buddie going canon and they do, then yay, right? But if they don't, you won't be disappointed. You'll be able to continue to enjoy the show and Buddie, same as before. It's a part of why I try not to get my expectations up, even though I do hope for canon!Buddie. 'Coz I wanna be able to enjoy their love story no matter what. Whatever Tim and Kristen do, Buddie is canon to me. And I don't want anyone taking that away from me. So while I tend to think 911 may have the balls to be one of the few exceptions, I'll be here even if it doesn't.

Basically, your POV is welcome here, as is that of others. I hope ranting helped and you feel good! ^u^ Have a great day!

You might notice, I'm scheduling a lot of replies to post on the same day, I am trying to catch up with my asks. If you're worried you might have missed one, as always, here's my ask tag. xoxox

[robotonthemoon]

Hi, honest answer to your honest question.

I’m a straight white American guy- a SWAG, if you will.

Apart from the obvious reactionary attitude implicit in things like White History Month or Straight Pride, I do feel there’s a morsel of real concern there, and it’s a concern I feel too.

Our society kind of assumes you’re a SWAG by default. That’s the baseline. So if you’re not in an oppressed group, then you are that baseline, and you get nothing *compared to the baseline.* You’re the target of mass media, you’re the default citizen. You’re the human experience.

And in my experience that can be a pretty empty thing to be. You kind of just grow up without ever developing an identity around your race, gender, sexuality, nationality- these are just facts about you. And then you see people who react to oppression by rejoicing in themselves and extracting meaning from all those things and yours are just empty because you’ve never been given anything to fill it with.

Yes, culture is made to your specifications but it never speaks about you because the only time race, sexuality, gender, nationality need to be spoken about is when they’re not the default- when they’re not yours. So it never even really feels like it was made *for* you so much as *around* you.

And so yeah, beyond the reactionary bullcrap, I do fully understand the urge to say “actually I am white and I am cishet and I am a man and I want to have positive feelings about those aspects of myself-“ and not like “I’m normal and boring” but like “I’m all these things and they are valuable.”

Which I’m sure is a hard sell if you’ve spent your life trying to say “I want what I am to be *permissible*, let alone *valuable*.” And it’s so often reactionaries who try and fill these ideas with bigotry, I understand why people are defensive. But you can’t ever get rid of, e.g. heteronormativity, if you don’t allow the heteros to decide that heterosexuality means more than normativity. Which, to me, sounds like some kind of straight pride.

(Of course, I’ve also seen the take that Pride would not even be coherent outside the context of oppression. And believe me, having lived my life with an “inconsequential” relationship to gender and sexuality, it’s a pretty bleak worldview you’ve got if you think that your choice is between oppression and inconsequence. My outlook greatly improved since I learned from my lgbtq+ friends to start loving those aspects of myself as things of meaning.)

Pride would not have existed in the first place without oppression. It is a defensive movement, in the sense that it is entirely a reaction to threats. Without oppression, queer people would be treated as exactly as "normal" and expected as cishet people. I generally tell people, "do not be upset that there's no straight pride, be grateful you don't need it." Access to the "default baseline" of things is an underappreciated gift that many marginalised people do not get to enjoy.

Now, that said, there is every reason to celebrate being straight if it makes you happy. I certainly understand being attracted to women and would not criticise it. But its definitely not the same as pride as a movement. It is unfortunate that culturally we only seem to think about things in opposition rather than for their own joy.

I am reminded of something I read once. About "white people have no culture in the US" which seems to contribute at least a little to cultural appropriation. And how white people have been disconnected from the cultures they came from. The traditional cultures of French, Dutch, Swedish, Russian, etc. people are all quite different and rich. We could do well to encourage white people to reconnect with some of that. So long as it doesn't become an excuse for bad behaviour.

Thank you for your thoughts!

[yannaryartside]

Hello! Thank you for bringing this up

I actually have a theory, kinda has to do with the beef but with another element added: emotional incest. In other words, the reason Mickey never settled down is because of Donna.

For what we can gather from the age difference between the Bearzatto siblings (Mickey was born in 79 and Nat on 88, making Mickey at least 15 years older than Carmy, but is likely is 20 years since Carmy doesn’t seem to be that much older than 30) and the fact that Carmy’s father left when before he was 5 (he said he didn’t remember much of him), is is safe to assume that Mickey was more of a father figure than a sibling to the younger bearzattos.

So let’s asume theirs dad leaves when Carmy is 5 years old and Mickey is in his early twenties. He goes straight out of hight school to work in the beef until his mother quits. He became, from that moment on, the “man of the house”

I am latina. In our culture is extremely normal to parentify and hyper sexualize young boys when there is no adult male figure in the household. The young boy, regardless of age, is expected to support the family but also be devoted emotionally to their mothers (the actual head of the household). In some cases, if the adult male figure leaves the home after a divorce or a infidelity, the mother develops some sort of emotional fixation on their son, and starts to request the emotional devotion that you would expect of a romantic partner. This is called emotional incest. It can take many forms, but one that is very common is the rejection of the mother towards any romantic partners that their son had once they leave the house, they would say things like “nobody is good enough for my son”

I was reading a book for couples therapy and there was a story of a man that insisted that his mom came to live with him and his wife because her mom didn’t had nobody else and “how could they survive without me?” One night, the mil even interrupted the married couple as they were in the shower because they were “taking to much time”

I willing to be a lot of money on the fact that Mickey never contemplated settling down with a woman because Donna was to emotionally dependent on him. Mind you, he was still living with her in Fishes so is a good assumption to think he was living in his childhood home till the day he died. He was in his late 40’s, that is not normal. This is a factor that likely contributed to his depression.

He was extremely charismatic, and maybe had couples here and there but is a safe assumption that Donna never liked none of them. So he will end things. Richie, who is a mirror of Mickey, managed to marry and have a kid at that point.

Edit: I just remembered something. In “Fishes” we see Mickey and Donna team up to bully Carmy into saying ily which could be an indication that growing up Mickey used to taken his mother side on arguments as a way to keep peace (the husband role). He also was very protective every time that Lee made Donna a shady business proposal. Then at dinner, Lee reminded Michael that he could fuck him up, which indicates that Michael and Lee got into physical fights when Michel was younger (and we don’t even know if he was a child when it started). There is even the horrible chance that Michael had to act as a guardian dog (or a punching bag) to prevent Lee from hurting his younger siblings. The more you think about it the worse it gets. The early physical abuse that he was not allowed to address (because he was a man”) likely contributed to his depression.

So I absolutely love reading the character analyses y’all post on here. And I recently had a thought.

It’s kind of been implied that since Mikey has good social skills, that he’s popular with the ladies. However, between spending all his time at The Beef and his depression, I can’t see him having time for dating.

Like when he tells Tina he doesn’t remember the last time he went to bed…The Beef consumes his life.

And maybe he retells his old party stories like Ceres over and over again because he’s been too busy for that since he took over The Beef and all he has are his old stories to reminisce.

I welcome anyone’s thoughts in this discussion!

[tanfilms]

hii!! perhap write some argument between xavier and reader and then them making up?? could be over anything

FIGHTS N’ GROVELING . . . 🦪

CHARACTERS. xavier thorpe 𝒙 reader

GENRE & WARNINGS. fluff. romance. sexual tension and suggestive themes. friends-ish to lovers.

SYNOPSIS. you would do anything to prove your best friend was not the Hyde, even if it went against your own safety.

A/N. sorry this is short! i wanted to start our simple to test my writing style if anyone liked it etc. I hope you actually like it :)

PS — english is not my first language and I use a correction app for a lot of things so please be gentle on me 😭 esp if the pov suddenly changes because i can’t catch mistakes sometimes!!

Your heart was hammering against your ribs in a pathetically rapid manner. You hated confrontations, the said action always leading to heated arguments with the unfortunate way you manage to handle bubbling situations. But what else were you to do?

An entire event. Almost the entirety of the dance was of complete silence and harsh glares from Xavier’s end after he saw you laugh along the arms of Tyler. It was a misunderstanding to be fair. You’d fallen on the paint covered ground of the dance floor and he’d helped you up after cracking a joke. You know as the best friend of the boy he’d assaulted that you should’ve declined his help and looked for Xavier, but he’d been stressing about Wednesday for the past week that you’d entirely forgotten any sort of friendship had been formed between the both of you.

“Fine, ignore me all you will but don’t act like you haven’t abandoned me for the past three weeks since the beginning of the year Xav-”

He aggressively wiped down the faux blood from his eyes, staring at you with what you can only assume was growing hatred, “Y/n, I am currently being accused of being a deadly monster that hurt his own friends, forgive me for trying to figure out why an Addams of all people, would come to this conclusion.”

Your frown deepens. That he never told you, so you’d went on to assume that he’d harboured a crush on her — which to be fair, you’d understood but also didn’t appreciate. “You never told me that, why do you never tell me anything anymore?”

“Great, somehow this is my fault and I’m to blame for trying not to have you worry, thanks Y/n, wonderful speaking with you.” And with that, he’d stormed off to the direction of his dorm, leaving your mouth agape and speechless as students scurry off with dramatic screams and painted dresses.

You didn’t like the way the conversation had ended, your core sprinkled with guilt as you let the immature side of your heart take over you back then. Looking around with no other place on your mind, you follow a trail you’d left before to his shack. If there is a chance he could ever be locked up, you’d want to be the only person to decrease it. So while shuffling the bottom of your dress into your arms, you slip your heels off as you run into the darkening woods.

His knees shook violently on the side of the bed. The night had passed since your argument, and by now you would normally come knocking on his door with a batch of apology cookies from the store that you’d claimed to bake.

But it was stillness from your side, no calls, no Enid speaking on your behalf; and it distressed his mind endlessly. Xavier was aware that he wasn’t fully at fault; but still partly to blame for your own careless actions, and so his heart weighed heavy on his chest since your absence. With swift movement, he’d clutched his phone, drying his hair once more with a towel before leaving his dorm in hopes to catch up with you quickly.

Walking through the halls, eyes landed on him in oddly intense stares. He cleared his throat as he slid his way past multiple pupils. “What is it with everyone today,” he murmured to himself, light drops of sweat catching onto his eyebrows furiously as he spotted a weeping Enid being comforted by Yoko on the other end of the hall — with a straight-faced Wednesday staring with a perplexed look upon the two.

The blonde caught sight of him, jumping up from her position to have her hands land on the taller boy’s shoulders. “Oh Xavier I’m so sorry, she just left and didn’t tell any of us where she was going. But i promise she’s going to be okay, she’s Y/n she’ll be fine!”

A heavy sigh left him as he felt a headache sneaking up on him, and his breathing race quicker at the mention of your name in a depressing manner. He gulped, throat dry and hands clenching a fistful of the ends of his shirt. “What are you talking about? What happened to Y/n?”

At that, the vampire and werewolf had plastered similar expressions on all of their faces, and it frustrated him even more. Wednesday’s lips tugged upwards in a smirk, tilting her head agonisingly before speaking up. “Incredible. One would assume that you would be the first to know that your supposed ‘best friend’ was caught in the hands of the Hyde yesterday after the dance…was it not after a quarrel you two were having or am I wro-”

The words were cut off after Enid smacked her arm with a shriek and an alarmed face of shock, a frown on her lips as she watched Xavier’s mood shift from frustration to clear raging fear. It was his fault.

“She’s not dead,” Yoko spoke up, “She was in the infirmary with a couple face scratches and a past bleeding womb. It wasn’t bad enough for an urgent ride to the hospital, so she’s currently residing in her own dorm passed out from exhaustion.”

The Thorpe’s nods were faded as he was lost in his own head, horrible theory’s of your current well-being jumping one another in a consistent manner to assault his thoughts. Hands visibly shaking as quick as his ragged breaths, he uttered a low thank you to the trio before his feet were painfully dragging him to your direction.

Anger. Hurt. Confusion. All piled upon him like a sudden crashing wave when he’d reached your door. What do they mean you’re not left in a hospital? Did you not deserve better care? Better care than what he could’ve possibly offered? Too busy allowing his thoughts to consume him and wallowing in his own misery, he flinched when the door jiggled open — your tired yet bright figure gazing at him strangely.

“Y/n…” he whispered, your name igniting a fire in the pit of his stomach. Xavier’s pale hands were clutching the hot chocolate and food he’d picked up on his way here for you, hands burning but your presence numbing it all. You smiled teasingly, already knowing why he’s here before stepping backwards and letting him inside.

Licking your lips, you watched as he set the bag and cup on your desk table before your back softly hit the wall behind you in a sudden movement. Lavender engulfing your senses, your favourite, as his arms wrapped around you in a soothing matter; as if you were the most fragile thing left in this world right now, and in his eyes you most definitely were.

“Am I here to comfort you or is it the other way around Thorpe?” Your tone was light hearted, joking with him in hopes of forgetting what had occurred before hand but it brought him back to his senses. Xavier let you go swiftly and his lips curled up as yours were pursed. “Why are you stupid enough to leave out to the woods, almost in the middle of the night, with nothing to protect you?? Did you seriously not think that through?”

Sighing, you reached out for the mug of delicacy behind him, huffing before thinking carefully of your next words. “I did it on purpose asshole. My whole intention was to get hurt.”

“What?” He blinked once, then twice awaiting for your explanation that left him agitated in his spot but he couldn’t find it in himself to rush you as you consumed your drink and dug through the bag of food. You looked so weak at the moment, skin pale from the medication he spotted near your drawer — enhancing the glint trickling in your eyes and the soft colour of your lips. A rippling sense of calmness flooded his senses watching you eat, ignoring the bruises piled up near the end of your eyes for his own sake and sanity.

“Hmm sorry, i’m just hungry. They’ve fed me nothing but soup the whole day — yuck,” coughing, you continued, “You would never hurt me no matter how angry you are at me Xav. Even if i trashed your Art shed again — still immensely sorry about that — you’re nothing but gentle with me and I just wanted to show that you’re just as kind hearted with everyone else, that you’re not Hyde.”

It clicked in his brain. If he were Hyde you would not have seen a scratch trailing your body. Further connecting the dots he realised as to why Wednesday had not bothered him either by the time he woke up, she knew he was innocent. He wouldn’t be locked up anytime soon and it was all because of you. His gaze was soft as it trailed up and down your figure.

That had been the kindest thing anyone had ever bothered to do for him, and his suppressed feelings leapt with euphoria at your selfish act. He stepped closer his hands tracing the scratch above your lips.

Your mouth went dry, dropping the bagel back into the brown bag absentmindedly as you watched his eyes land on the scar remaining above your lips. “Xav, listen I really am sorry. I didn’t think about you and Tyler, and I didn’t think I’d have to go this far-”

Xavier ignored your apology, muttering a low ‘shut up’ before he found his lips atop of your own. His hands cradled your face tenderly, and the gentle action caused you to inwardly sigh and kiss him back, a train of butterflies exploding within your stomach. His hands traced circles on the side of your cheeks, a small smile adorning his lips when you’d returned the romantic action.

“I can’t kiss you back if you’re going to smile,” you said after pulling a way, a light giggle leaving your own lips when he let out a quiet laugh. “Sorry, my bad L/n,” he apologised, “It’s going to be serious from now on, no laughing matter.”

You nodded, going along with the joke. “Intimate actions are of utmost seriousness Xav!” You pointed a finger at his chest and poked him. “Oh absolutely,” he chuckled, his lips finding home near your own once more, before pecking the marks that were tainted on your skin.