#also my headmate but like whatevs

[nexus-nebulae]

i have. so many bath and body works products

[our-inspire-verse]

Come onnnn come ON i had to split him and he Had to be this cheery. Okay then

[betawooper]

me: dude why am i so adamant at referring to yjh as a woman

me: i mean im still gonna do it but this is way stronger than i felt about any other character i transfem-beamed

me: weird, i aint gonna question it though

(like 7 months later)

me and the yjh introject living in my brain judging every fucking orv post we+ see: this is not the conclusion i was thinking of at all but okay-

[trapper-faggot]

I never think to put a sticker over the all watching eye of an angel/security camera blinking light on the smoke detector in my room, until it's nearly midnight and I'm terrified of accidentally setting off the smoke alarm

[ceolocunt]

[sepiasys]

Not us feeling fuzzy and uh

Well

Job stuff came up ig. Idk how we got there entirely since the last stuff we saw was NPD resources?

I feel like a weird fucking mix rn oml. So I'm 🦊 rn, talking, internally, but 🪶(?) is us externally..? And there was a completely different one who wrote stuff down <- job relevant.

Pretty sure it was that angel god thing dude. And ik that the second line was addressing 👑 specifically even tho I sqear he isn't nearby or smth.

Also.

Got a name.

Gabriel.

OF FUCKING COURSE.

Quote me, of course with our little to no knowledge of religion and the bible, it's the FUCKING MESSENGER AGAIN (this is trying to research archangel gabriel shit)(intentionally not thinking of mandela catalogue bc yeah ik that exiets but it's not connected? I just know. I swear 🤞)

We can't fucking avoid the messenger role trope thing. Hermes, jesters (or court fool or whatever the fuck), and just the general shit we remember doing throughout our friend groups and shit, and THE FUCKING FICTIONAL CHARACTERS WE ENJOY. Granted it usually falls under trickster archetype as well. Bc common tropes that are combined and shit. Idk.

But good fucking lord we can NOT avoid it EVER.

[dipshit-does-crimes]

i wish i could google how to solve my mental issues

like “hey google how do i stop the development of an eating disorder” “hey google how to not be suicidal” “hey google how to not be addicted to the blade” sheesh it would make it so much easier too bad i don’t want to get better :3c

[frothingatthemaw]

also. i perhaps miss our system instagram. should i like…. post a story and say we aren’t dead and that we were just severely mentally ill and couldn’t keep up with instagram at the time orrrrr

[schadenfreudich]

My headmates react to Monsta like they have discovered the most greatest song in existence that no one knows and like it wasn't in the german charts back in 2010 and also rank 3, meaning anyone who listened to the german radio in the early 2010's probably knows the song. Or like the song isn't basically just "I am so drunk and this hot woman just turned out to be a monster which just makes her more hot".

But yeah, it's a fun song. I understand why they like it.

[imjustaf444keriguess]

responding to the last bit first because… sometimes carrds ARE the most trustworthy sources, assuming the information is about a term that the carrd-owner made (that is to say, assuming the carrds tat are linked are created by you or people who identify with the term and who can try their best to correctly explain what it feels like and what the term means).

"active" still implies some sort of "i am in the front seat and the 'others' are in the backseat". i think using the term "mindset" instead of just "mind" might make this better, as in "my active mindset is the mindset of a 'daughter', i am in a 'daughter' mindset right now".

i don't think mindsets or "minds" can get "stuck" in the same way alters and headmates can do, unless they are at least somewhat sentient or have some form of self-autonomy, so having "active-stuck" is a bit silly. perhaps just "stuck", as in "stuck in a mind(set)" might work better for a singlet-experience, but i am part of a system, not a singlet.

i don't think personality modes / "mindsets" can tear/merge/splinter off, although they can develop and change and adapt. like how getting a new job might get you a "work mindset" or gaining a child through adoption or birth might give you a "parent mindset". it's not really merging or tearing, it's developing and growing. you don't lose parts of yourself, you can only gain them (unless you have a condition that causes you amnesia or identity issues, which might influence any identities like polymindedness or plurality/systemhood/multiplicity)

having "minds" that are based off of something else can get very messy, especially with fictive/fictional introject identities and fictionkin identities. is it like a "kinnie" thing? where you just have a strong connection to a character? what would you describe the experience of "fictling" to be like? (or, if you don't experience it, what have you heard from your fellow polyminds to be the experience? do they connect it to any fictionkin kintype or "kinnie" related identity?

i didn't mention "blanket" but i think a term like that would be good, although i'd describe it more like "the collective identity / "self" which all minds are connected by" or something of the sort. i don't quite get the difference between blanket and central, though?

i think the most strange comparison between plural identities and polymindedness is the "shattermethods". that implies there was an event or series of events of some kind that "shattered" you into subpersonalities, which is how many DID systems describe their experience of being a system.

the term traumashatter and surviveshatter even use the words "long term trauma" in the carrd, which is the same language that a lot of traumagenic systems often use to explain their experiences of becoming a system (long term trauma as a child). if a polymind is truly just subpersonalities, we wouldn't be seeing a "breaking apart" or "shattering" of the self, because you are still one whole person, you are not a system, you just percieve your subpersonalities as separate.

i think describing it similar to "the event that caused the polyminded person to view their minds as more separated than the average" while still making it clear you are one "whole" self and not separate "selves" might help make it sound less like a synonym to -genic labels.

this is all going off the idea that you or someone you're closely connected to wrote and edited the carrd, and i do think that this kind of closer to median-singlet experience is important to have words for that aren't inherently "we're distinct 'selves' treat us that way" kind of thing, but it really depends on what the actual experience you are trying to describe is.

sorry if any of this is written weird, tumblr was lagging on my computer and i had to type this in a notepad so things might be less organized or whatever. i need to sleep though. syscourse boygirl out-

Polymind is a bit fascinating because it ends up unintentionally showing why system terminology ends up not being exclusive to any one specific group.

Like when you try to describe plural experiences in a way that tries not to use an existing plural definitions, it shows a lot more blatantly that at its core we do all have the same experience of being more than one. Any term you make has a high chance of applying to the other group.

Then when you get into the terminology needed to actually describe those experiences, you find you kind of need most of the shared terminology otherwise you need to recreate the whole damn lexicon.

Like the reason terms get shared is more like "We have DID need a fast and easy way to describe fictional alters. Oh, soulbonders have a lot of terminology for this already that fits what we need, we'll start using fictive and source."

Or "We're a non-disordered system and need a way to describe one headmate taking over. Oh, medically there's switching and front, that's a fast and simple way to describe it."

And like a lot of subcultures online are like that and when you try to fight it you end up with complicated and not very practical terms. Especially when there's terms that have been used for over 30 goddamn years that are simpler and easier to use.

Hell even trying not to use any existing plural terminology, Polymind ended taking a lot of them unintentionally (i.e. part, ageling, little, protector).

It also highlights an issue where unless you do deeper introspection, which is not always practical for... obvious reasons, you probably won't know exactly what you fall under. Expecting people to look in depth trauma history to figure out what terminology they're allowed to use is despicable.

Also that the problem is at its core that people don't think we should exist at all and that the terminology stink ends up being more of a way to make harassment and fakeclaiming seem "justified" and also a method of erasing history and separating systems from resources/making them harder to find but eh

[jrwi-eldritchstrings-event]

Eldritchstrings Event Sign-Ups Open!!

Hi! Are you looking for some Apothy fun in these trying times of no new Apothesosis episodes? Wanna get together with other toxic yuri fans to make something swag? This post is to let you know that sign-ups are now open for the Eldritchstrings Event - an event centered on Exandroth and Rumi!!

This event is solely being run by @burning-sol (me) and @exandr0th-0f-viscera (my headmate). It probably won't be that large-scale, and we'll be kind of loose with management as we get an idea of what the members involved want from the event in terms of development and a final product. Our biggest rules are to HAVE FUN and TRY YOUR BEST!! If you don't feel like you're having fun, then this event is officially so joever.

If you're interested, please read through everything after the cut, the Sign-Up Form's link is at the end!! Sign-ups close November 16th.

Who can join?

If I've blocked you that's probably a bad sign... Obviously. But other than that, no limitations we can think of! Just know that Xander and I are pro-endo and pro-mspec lesbians; so if that gives you the impression you wouldn't gel well with the group, it's best to steer clear. All we ask of our participants is that they'll...!

Communicate clearly, and consciously try to take others in good faith.

At the least tolerate their cohorts if they can't outright get along with them.

AND, most importantly, they'll reach out to us if there are any issues!! It is no bother and it's actively better for the collective if you're open about anything that may have come up :3

What's the estimated time frame?

Sign-Ups close November 16th! ..however, the time frame for development and publishing will be up to participants to decide - with that process of consultation concluding before 2025.

At the LATEST the deadline for the works themselves will be July 31st, which will leave time for the editors to finesse the final product and publish it August 27th... (the anniversary of the first Eldritchstrings post!) So if you think you could make something by July 31st, even if you're initially busy, join the sign-ups!

If you miss it you will NOT be let into the event late, unfortunately. But no worries, because if the event goes well then there's a high probability another will be held in the future! :D

What contributions are we looking for?

Firstly, anyone who can help with visual design, editing, accessibility and publishing otherwise would be appreciated! There's also room for people who have general experience overseeing events and/or those who would like to help with promotion.

There will also (potentially) be groups, so if all you wanna do is hang around in case a pinch-hitter is needed, you can do that!

In terms of those submitting work to the event, ANY form of art goes! You may want to submit something like...

Fan-fiction, poetry, essays..

Illustrations, comics…

Banners, blinkies, icons…

Moodboards, stimboards, webweaves..

Textiles, cosplay, photography…

Edits, animations, PMVs, AMVs…

Original music, playlists…

Coding, games, 3D works…

Or whatever other weird and unique things you can think of…!

Romantic, platonic, situationship... Angst, comedy, abstract works, complete bullshit… Canon, non-canon, post-canon, somewhere in between… All is welcome so long at it centers on Exandroth and Rumi!!

Our ONLY limitations are that we will NOT be allowing any erotica, and no portrayal of genitalia in terms of artistic nudity! If you are otherwise unsure your work would be allowed, feel free to ask about it!

Also! Works that are exclusive to the event would be super cool, but you can submit older art or continue to work on something from your already existing WIPs if you'd like! The only catch is that you wouldn't be able to resubmit those to any future events... So if you're okay with that, go on ahead!

..and that's about it!

Make sure you've read over this and any relevant posts on this blog thoroughly. Participants will gather in a Discord server, the invites of which will be distributed via Tumblr PMs from this blog. If you're chill with everything stated above, here's the sign-up form!!

-> SIGN UP HERE <-

Note: We will not be personally promoting this event to other social medias, but you have our permission to share this sign-up with Twitter, Instagram, Tiktok, etc!!

[interstellarsystem]

Disorder Differences in Systemmates

Systemmates share the same brain, which often leads to the assumption that they're all affected the same by the brain itself. Its wiring, its abilities, and its disabilities. But symptom holders or those with intra-disorders are fairly common--at least in circles we run in--and they're not often talked about for fear of fakeclaiming or appearing ableist. We have headmates who are affected in all sorts of different ways by our disabilities. Some find things harder than others, while others actually find some tasks or symptoms easier to manage. It absolutely varies from headmate to headmate, which makes certain headmates better suited for fronting during certain times than others.

Merlin is more affected by our psychosis, particularly hallucinations, and xe tends to be more susceptible to paranoia. Mystery is a psychosis holder too, and has more positive symptoms like hallucinations than the rest of us, but is less affected negatively by it. It often hallucinates and falls into delusional thinking, but it's not really too bothered by it. So Mystery is a good choice for someone to front when we're having a psychotic episode. Sometimes, having Merlin cofront with Mystery makes it easier for Merlin to not be so susceptible to xyr symptoms.

I (Martin) have more obvious anxiety than the rest of us, and struggle much more in social situations. I'm much better at hyperfocusing on tasks, though. So I'm better suited for staying home and working on whatever the current project we have at the time, or keeping our to-do lists in check. Vince on the other hand is calm in most social situations that are more professional--so he's good for business meetings and such. In more casual conversation though, Vena and Merlin are much better at it and better suited to non-professional social groups.

Vince is an intra-NPD holder and also holds stronger symptoms of our BPD. He struggles immensely with percieved rejection, much more than the rest of us. But he also almost completely lacks empathy, which makes it much easier for him to be calm and logical in stressful situations. He finds it easier to help friends and those he cares about during stressful times because he's not weighed down by feeling their emotions--whereas the rest of us might break down from stress.

We talk a bit about mental disability differences in headmates more than those who differ physically. Somehow it seems more controvertial to mention that we have headmates that differ with physical symptoms while even in safe system spaces. It seems like most people (us somewhat included) mainly think of symptom holders as a mental disorder thing--a line of thinking we're trying to dispel. Headmates can have different disabilities and symptoms of all kinds, and it's not ableist or "harmful" to know that and speak about it. Headmates with different conditions to the body need to be recognised more.

Mike needed a cane in his memories and he absolutely needs our cane when he fronts more than the rest of us. He feels more at home and like himself having a cane by his side here, though, so it's good we already had one. I (Martin) need it more too--my joints are just more prone to pain. But our cane folds up nicely into our bag, so if we switch out in public, it's always with us just in case. Even if it's silly, we feel safer having a cane too--I mean, it's a metal pole. We're out as trans and clearly not your Regular Society Member, so it provides some feeling of safety to have.

Jayfeather was blind before, and since coming here he sure can see now, but he's much more light sensitive than the rest of us. The feeling of being able to see was nice at first, even if it was foreign, but sometimes he feels it's not worth the hassle. He needs to wear sunglasses when fronting because his eyes just end up hurting from even small amounts of light. Crowley is the same, except he wasn't blind in his memories--he just got used to always wearing sunglasses in his life to hide how his eyes looked, and needs them here now. They're both more prone to migraines due to this.

Merlin is more shaky on his feet than others who front often. His legs are digitigrade and in headspace he has his wings and tail to balance him there--but in the body, he doesn't have any of that. His legs are the wrong shape and he has no counterweight to his posture. Even with our cane, he's more prone to tripping than most.

Mystery was a godlike being that didn't need to eat human food, or any physical food at all. It often forgets that eating, sleeping and going to the bathroom are things the body needs to do, because it doesn't often feel the need to do them. That can be good if we're running low on food, or if we can't eat for a while such as before a medical procedure though, so it's useful in its own way. Mystery is also not used to using its hands for intricate things like tying shoelaces, as it's hands before we're longer, bigger, and mainly nonphysical. It didn't need to be intricate, so it's hard for it to do things others in here can.

There's so many more examples in our system. The thing is, there can be positives and negatives to any disorder, really--and headmates are no different with that. We don't necessarily assign headmates "roles" or "jobs" based on their symptoms or lack thereof, but for us to function better as a collective, people tend to gravitate toward doing certain things they know others can't. It's important for us to know how we differ with our disabilities, and work around them together as best we can.

Systemmates with different symptoms aren't uncommon, and they're not mocking disabled people, or lying for some benefit. I'd argue that for some systems with symptom holders or intra-disorder holders, it's increcibly important to know about how you differ and how to work together to be functional--whatever functional means for you.

[sysmedsaresexist]

Sorry if this is annoying/you have been asked this already but we have been seeing more and more posts trying to deny that Alters/headmates are separate people and that they are actually just you but separated by amnesia barriers.

it’s very confusing to us since we have OSDD 1 and view ourselves as distinctly different people just inhabiting the same body

is that wrong of us to think? (We also get confused since a lot of said posts say it’s “scientifically accurate” but we have checked the DEM multiple times and talked to our therapist and we can’t seem to find where it says that headmates can’t be separate people)

I actually haven't been asked this in a long time.

First off, the "amnesia barriers" thing is an AI talking shit about nothing in Google results. It's inaccurate, and I wish it would go away. Dissociative barriers are not only caused by amnesia, and the result of them is not always amnesia, but that's me being pissy.

Now, as for how people view themselves.

You do you, boo ❤️

Fuck the haters.

I'm going to explain this as simply as possible. This is a very general overview.

The ToSD asserts that no one is born with an integrated sense of self. During normal, uninterrupted development, childrens' action and defense systems begin to cohesively work together to create... The person you would become, I suppose. You learn to prioritize your needs and wants and create plans for yourself using a cohesive set of thoughts. For example, you're hungry but also need a shower. Your experiences have shaped you to prioritize and perform actions in certain ways. Some people will eat first, then shower, some will shower first and eat second. And these decisions are influenced by the totality of all of your experiences.

In CDDs, these action systems become separated-- dissociated away, not hidden by amnesia. If your parents were particularly cruel around food, you may have pushed those needs away, and that action system develops within itself, beginning its own prioritization process. In many cases, we lose access to those systems, and they no longer play a normal part in our decision-making.

For many, we don't have any access to those parts that we originally rejected. Some parts become alters, some parts are just fragments, but we struggle to cohesively and strategically place those needs in our day to day lives. We struggle to communicate with those parts. They have drastically different wants and needs and priorities, and access to their own unique coping skills (that may or may not be good for the system as a whole).

At any given time, we only have full, cohesive access to parts of our lives, skills, techniques, needs, thoughts, the list keeps going.

This is "parts of a whole."

This is what parts language is.

It's what I believe and it's what's helped my system.

This does not have anything to do with how autonomous or individualized alters can become, how separate, how they view themselves.

Some people relate much more heavily to this particular framework, some can understand but don't like it applied to them, some don't feel it applies at all to their system.

It's a mechanism of how CDDs develop, and within this framework, you can use whatever language you prefer. Not all parts work is parts focused. Alters can see themselves as their own people, they can wish for their own lives and dream of having their own body. Therapists can and do empathize with these feelings, and they play no part in the success or failure of treatment.

Are you all working together to stay alive and keep out of jail? Does your whole system understand they share a body?

Yes? Great, you're good to go. Use whatever language feels right.

We are parts, but we're also people within our own rights, and that's okay.

It's a huge framework. Explore it.

[t4tdanvis]

ANON I AM RIGHT HERE I POST ABOUT POLYAMORY ALL THE TIME PLEASE I AM RIGHT HERE

Maybe this is too obscure but I'm kinda disappointed by the lack of polyam characters/art in this fandom. The "has two hands mentality" literally changed my life and when I looked at Aphverse stuff, especially Minecraft Diaries with Garroth, Laurance and Aphmau and it just feels like the obvious solution to me. I just feel like there's a lot of untapped potential for polyamory in these stories especially given how much the fandom loves shopping.

.

[sophieinwonderland]

Hiveminds and Multiplicity

When thinking about Hiveminds, I realized that hivemind connection is a spectrum, with many plural or plural-like experiences across it.

At the same time, both the beginning and end of this spectrum are singlet experiences. I decided to represent this with my own horseshoe theory.

Unconnected Individuals

This is pretty self-explanatory. These are totally separate individuals with their totally separate bodies. These are not even the slightest bit plural. Or, at least, not for any hivemind related reasons.

Mind-Linked

Now we drift into plural territory.

At this point, the individuals have some sort of mental link to each other. Mind links can range in levels of complexity.

At a low level, this may mean feeling each other's emotions or sensing when something really bad happens with no words or other communication. The most basic form of this might be "twintuition" in shows, where twins can magically sense when something happens to another no matter where they are.

At high levels, this can come with full verbal communication and other hallucinatory experiences.

Mind-linked systems often have strong barriers between them, only being able to transfer limited information, and maybe only in specific circumstances.

But the mind-linked are having plural experiences. They have someone else feeling their emotions, hearing their thoughts. It's very similar to sharing your mind with headmates. As this connection grows, they may end up becoming...

The Multiple Hivemind

At the top most point of the horseshoe, all mental barriers have been torn down.

They're still multiple people. They still have their own individual identities. But the link has become so great that they can read each other's thoughts whenever they want. They can share memories and skills freely between them, being both multiple and completely connected at the same time.

The Median Hivemind

Having achieved perfect connection, identity starts to erode. The median hivemind starts becoming its own collective identity.

Individuals in the median hivemind still retain agency and sense of self, but are also blending together more now and feel less like separate people.

The True Hivemind

At this point, there is no distinction between identity of the members. The hivemind is now one singlet spread across multiple bodies. A contrast and opposite to traditional plurality, which is multiple agents in one body.

...

We Can Get Weird With This...

Okay, that's a basic overview of how hiveminds work and evolve with singlets. But... what if some members of the hivemind aren't singlets?

Now things are going to get weird because hiveminds and mental links enable a lot of peculiar things that wouldn't be possible otherwise.

What if an old headmate goes dormant for years. In that time, the system becomes linked to a hivemind and specifically become either a median or true hivemind where they all identify as the same thing? What if that headmate comes back to find everyone else in the system is part of this hivemind with their identities melded into it, but the new headmate is still separate?

Or what if a multiple hivemind enabled headmates originating in the same body to front in multiple bodies at once, essentially allowing system hopping as a thing in those specific circumstances? What one of the members of an in-sys relationship used someone else's body (consensually) to be with their partner?

Or what if, for whatever reason, only one member of the system had the connection to the hivemind while the rest didn't?

Or... imagine that there are two systems with a strong mental link. They become a multiple hivemind with headmates able to speak freely to each other and even share an inner world. Then two headmates, one from each system, interact more and end up fusing. What does this mean? Which body is theirs? What happens if the link is severed?

Or in the same vein, what if a hivemind starts out as existing between 5 singlets? They become connected and end up being a multiple hivemind, and share an inner world. What if the hivemind created a tulpa together in this inner world, and none of the members are sure whose tulpa it actually counts as?

...

Anyway, if there's any takeaway from this, it should be that plurality is weird. Hiveminds are weird. And put them together and you get a weird sandwich. 😁

[doctordeathawaits]

trans-omega tips please ? { like the ones in omegaverse fanfics !! }

also specifically a little nsfw but i get extremely dysphoric about not having my heats !! so if you have any tips for that specifically i would be so grateful !! maybe you could hide it under a read more/continue reading thingy !!

thank you !! ♥️♥️♥️

TRANS - OMEGAVERSE ( OMEGA ) . . .

warning of nsfw topics under the cut ! :3

Hello , so I am a headmate who is cis-omega in headspace , decided why not help out , yk ?

If you experience ovulation - you can associate that with Heat , and for dysphoria , you can download those ovulation tracking apps that give little reminders .

In my source , I often had to take suppressants before going out in public , so focus on that during heat - have reminders on your phone that you need to take vitamins before going out to school / work / out public . Imagining that the vitamins are suppressants can help a lot with dysphoria + vitamins can be gotten just over the counter ( commonly omega 3 fish oil , magnesium or vitamin d ) .

Make nests . I see people say nests are only when someone is in heat , which is wrong , nest can be made whenever the fuck you want - if you wanna be comfortable ? make a nest lmao . But there is also no rules to what makes a nest . All that matters is that you're comfortable , it can just be blankets and pillows , plushie toys , or even clothes that make you feel calm . Some inspo if you're stuggling : inspo .. INSPO .. inspo .

More euphoria - go perfume shopping and figure out what your scent is . You can also assign a scent to your partner . You can buy the said perfume that you assign to yourself / your partner . During heats , you can cover yourself in the perfume - or when nesting , you can use the partner perfume to make you feel more comfortable .

You can set yourself rules based on your cycles . Example ; i generally , for whatever reason , cannot drink beer when i can feel something coming on - never know why , but my mind just sort of , thinks it makes sense ? I've heard that this is common for other omegas , just weird rules that they believe will " help them conceive" upon instinct , even if it doesn't make much sense . But you can set these sort of rules to yourself , any sort . I've heard some have hydrophobia during pre-heat , some claim that eating a specific food is ' bad ' , ect .

Hope these were even just a bit helpful , good luck <3