#also idk if i already posted this but it was on my phone. so
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#ogata hyakunosuke#golden kamuy#the article is written by koito obviously#it's a real headline that popped up on my newsfeed and killed me instantly. had to add the goblin to it#habit 1 is shooting at people. they hate that#habit 2 is the psychological warfare#also idk if i already posted this but it was on my phone. so
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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they would get divorced in one universe just to find eachother in another one
alternatively titled: sometimes you're the level-headed token flesh-head impulse-control-and-polycule-member of a stubborn, eccentric, and hearty telephone-headed drug addict, and there's cruelty in the world you deem fit to suicidally fight, and that either goes about as well as you'd expect it to, or you learn about love and the value of your life and junk along the way
#scribbles#milton r wallace#callum crown#phonegingi#sgt norm allen#norm allen#dialtown#dialtown a phone dating sim#..uh idk if callum and milt have a ship name orz#normgingi#milton norm parallels save me. Save me milton norm parallels#very specific but its why i prefer to look at the callum-milt-marla situation as like tragic polyamory#as opposed to a cheating one#it adds to the callum-gingi parallels. theyv both got polycule situations C:#though i suppose you could call a cheating situation a dark parallel to gingi's polycule the same way you could call#milton's entire deal a dark parallel to their relationship with norm/the narrator#However i just like tragic polyamory. my visions of milton and marla ALSO being in love yet having the mutual#realization that they hate callum more than they love eachother (esp milton) is highly specific yet also everything to me#misery loves company and all that jazz. a THIRD combination of people having divorce shit going on#this guys ruining my life IM GONNA FUCK HIS WIFE! (They are already in a consensual polyamorous relationship milton is just making it weird#Sorry these tags were going to be like meaningful discussion about this art and then i was enabled to talk about THIS AGAIN#OH YEAH this art in particular i discovered halftones and also started actually using blending brushes#milts face isnt drawn. obviously. but im imagining a kind of 'oh you!' exasperated fondness#as opposed to norm who's just a cranky little tsundere. jokes on milt though HIS relationship is HEALTHIER#also i will never pass up the chance to draw gingi and callum together#theyr both characters i adore drawing gingi's round shapes and different textures and callums cute little bolts#but also they do look soooo similar and yet so different its always really fun to do#and theyr just. my favs lol. my top 3 favs go gingi-mingus-callum hehe#Ok thats all. thank you for coming to my rambles#fig said i should post my art at better times and so i am and that means when i post my art im AWAKE ENOUGH TO RAMBLE ABOUT IT LOL
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I saw a reddit post about it, and I thought they were buggin, but no! I checked myself with my own dolls, and apparently Gen 1 does have more body variation that I thought, but it's so slight that I have to wonder why they bothered in the first place.
Jinafire and Operetta, for whatever reason, have a different bust shape/size than the average doll (I'm sure there are more, but those are the only two I've personally seen) and I saw someone say that Gigi has wider hips.
So...do with that what you will.
#monster high#monster high gen 1#monster high dolls#so...random#you really cant tell unless they're not wearing clothes so i really do wonder why they even bothered?#and idk its weird cuz they're still kinda are just the same size its more so the shape that's different#i do wanna check my dolls tho to see of any others might also be different#id post pics but im at work...also my phone camera sucks lol#i do feel weirdly mind blown about it...idk why#i think its because i thought i knew so much about these damn dolls but didn't know this#text post#is this general knowledge?? did any of y'all already know this?
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shit ton of wip art that i havent posted yet
in order - monk and hunter title splash art, pokemon slugcat concepts, saint art piece, alternate skins concept, and something from my ruff&ruff concepts file
#i already took the voidspawn out of monks splash art cus its kinda spoilery#would post something from the next ruff&ruff page if i had a screenshot of it on my phone but i dont and im lazy so. 💀#also i need help with the 2nd alternate skin concept!!! its based on a butterfly koi but idk what koi pattern to use#rain world#rain world downpour#the rivulet#the artificer#the gourmand#the monk#the hunter#the saint#rain world spoilers#rain world downpour spoilers#my art#ruffian and ruffles
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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living in america is literally just like. yeah i could probably benefit from inpatient mental health services but honestly the resulting medical bills would just make me want to kill myself even more
#eliot posts#i'm not in active danger of hurting myself don't worry#just experiencing some Ideations#but i have a long mental list of reasons not to act on those ideations so i'm safe don't worry#ironically one of those reasons is ''i couldn't afford the medical bills for a failed attempt''#suicide mention#suicide tw#tw suicide#american healthcare my beloathed#dogshit private insurance my beloathed#also ironically one of the (multiple) contributing factors towards this fresh wave of ideations is a medical bill i got yesterday#it's nothing too ruinous but it is A LOT like would utterly wipe out my savings level#my parents said they can help me with it (as much as i hate accepting things from them)#and as soon as i mentioned it my very sweet cousin just. sent me the money it would take to cover it#with a ''yeah i trust you'll pay me back once you get a good job like looking at your major you'll be making a lot eventually''#and i've already requested an itemized bill as well as the paperwork for the hospital's financial assistance program#(tho idk how much assistance i'll actually be eligible for bc i'm still legally a dependent)#so hopefully i'll be able to get that bill cut way down#it's just eugh it's so stressful and i had a full on panic attack on the phone with my insurance company yesterday#and my brain's fav response to crushing stress is just ''well we wouldn't have to handle any of this if we Just Fucking Died! :)''
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absolutely hate that you can't just tap on the middle reblog in a chain and find that post on the poster's blog anymore. Like what if i want to ignore the last 2 unfunny posts on an otherwise good reblog chain. I'm not gonna scroll 3 years back on some random person's blog to find it smh
#idk if this is just on mobile or not but#OH ALSO while im bitching i hate that you cant look at tumblr blog archives on a browser on your phone now?#i used to do that to find old posts on my own blog but now#every time it's like#GO GET THE APP#and im like I ALREADY HAVE THE APP#AND YOUR APP'S SEARCH FUNCTION IS ALWAYS DRUNK#I INTENTIONALLY EXITED THE APP AND CAME HERE SO I COULD FIND THE SHIT MYSELF GOOD SIR#p
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was ab to make a post, got a call, then net zeroed myself completely
#was on the phone w this dude and i wanted to Die bc he was getting a little upset bc idk what im talking ab 🤪#but i transferred him to my coach and she took care of him. so in the process i was gonna post ab wanting to kms bc of this dude#i get off the phone and my coach said he praised me on how meticulous i was being :) net zero interaction#anyway lunchtime and ive already had a heart flutter. idk it happens when i get too anxious sometimes and im surprised i didnt feel one#yesterday but like 1.5 hrs into my shift i had one.. bruh#whatever im hoping therell be cinnamon rolls in the freezer otherwise i regret not getting them last week 😔😔😔😔 whatever man#not that big of a deal but. it is. also i need to figure out when to place my order bc i need to pick up either monday or tuesday but im#working monday and dont know when ill be back in town. so probably tuesday. but i need to double check what time they close pickups.#fuck me man this is the week from hell and its not even that bad yet. KNOCK ON WOOD......#talk tag
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i genuinely so love how fandoms have their own ways of talking. in jokes, references, styles, expectations. like, yeah, it’s silly but i rarely find it cringy or annoying when people are just having fun and connecting with each other about a common interest
#this is specifically about how jake and amir fans ONLY talk in references on reddit and youtube#but it goes for any fandom ofc#every comment is a reference and every reply is a reference#if i don’t recognise smth as a reference i open up the script archive (a tab i leave open on my phone always) to see if it’s just smth i’ve#missed. and if it’s not in the archive i can bet my arse it’s from the podcast instead#idk i just think it’s cool that you can have silly enjoyable convos with ppl u dont even know#and i also think (at least in jna fandom) that it opens the doors for people to leave comments of fan creators’ works#*on#like it’s so much easier to leave a compliment that u know will be recieved well if u already have one scripted out for u#it also makes ooc comments that much more special ✨✨✨✨#like i get so nervous leaving comments usually but jake and amir already put the effort in in 2011 or smth#this one is dedicated to the people who say this vid is taupe and i get to reply taupe? dope!#my post#jake and amir#jna
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currently having an Awful Time (dropped phone in toilet) (needs to go to work tomorrow) (bus pass is on phone) (also cant check emails because of stupid 2FA connected to my phone) (really wants to cry rn)
#marine myths rambles#ik this is like. first world problems/gen z things but like. im genuinely extremely upset n kinda freaking out about what to do#other than 'put phone in rice and Wait'#i rely so heavily on my music on public transport though n im already kinda overwhelmed so idk how tmrrws gonna go.#also my mom tends to get frustrated (understandably) when i miss her txts so im like... ugh#its okay im tryna watch babymetal vids on my switch to distract me (its not really working bc i need additional stimulation ; ;)#i literally pulled out my laptop to check my emails and then post this#n e ways pray for my phone (and my job and my mental/emotional well-being 🙃) (ill be fine i promise im just ruminating and catastrophizing)
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Not a vent jus an emotional observation, but it kinda sucks when you slowly realize you can’t be the friend someone needs you to be
#random post#also goes for other relationships but I digress#idk it’s kinda like taking away a fundamental part your life cus u just aren’t what they NEED#this really isn’t a vent btw it’s just smth I’ve been thinking about and I think I’ve accepted it#a part of me REALLY wants to talk about it with someone to like. have an outside perspective on my thoughts lol but I don’t wanna fuckin#idk the word. bother? worry? someone else? I also don’t wanna be misunderstood as like. malicious or mad or anything lol#cus I’m prone to being misunderstood ✌️😔#that’s more or less a fact funnily enough there been more than a few times where I’ve just been like ‘NO WAIT. THATS NIT WHAT I MEANT’#I honestly can’t tell what gets misinterpreted sometimes but I digress. anyways#good news is. we don’t really talk. anymore lol so it’s not like im suddenly outcast or anything#sounds sappy but I already mourned the loss of this friendship a long time ago. DAMN that sounds dark but. yknow#it’s kinda nice sharing these thoughts <3 ive been feelin like this for MONTHS and I’m done feeling sad or getting myself sick over these#feelings >:)#in other news the duct tape on my phone (the tape holding my case together) has been peeling back so NOW my hands are sticky </3 rip
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FIT ACQUIRED!!! GOD THAT'S SPOT ON YOU'RE GONNA KILL IT
THANK YOU !!!!!! I'M SO STOKED TO WEAR IT
#snap chats#the con im going to (animenyc) isn't until november so i have a lot of time to do touch ups and just general adjusting#im tryin to see if i can find my old flip phone since it was Also red but im also debating gettin a prop gun#i already have that hijikata cologne too so... hehe.. just for Extra Unnecessary Details like the belt#MY FRIEND WAS SHOCKED I GOT THE SHOES BUT SHE WAS ALSO LIKE 'you got his clown shoes 😭' LIKE /PLEASE/ LVKAERJ#but yeah very excited :) four months away oh god that doesnt sound close but it also doesnt sound far#if im a brave boy ill post pics. or someone else will idk is anyone ??? else planning to go ????#ik months back when i was first talking about making a mine cosplay someone was stoked and said they were also going...#we'll just have to see 😩
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you know what. I planned out my entire nanowrimo novel in a month then wrote double the length last november bc i had an outline to work off of. so like. theres absolutely no reason i couldnt just blitz a script for the comic in like, a month? I KNOW i can write fast jkdhjkad i could def do that...less excuses not to finish it if its already p much entirely planned in detail, right? 🤔
#like. going double over the length was a happy accident#altho being employed MIGHT slow things down a bit. i could write on my phone on my lunch break? i did that a lot with warm healer actually#probably 60-70% of that fic was written on my phone!#and if i hard limit myself to 30 pages max per chapter#and writing comics out is WAY FASTER just dialogue + like. stage direction ig would be the word#lil snippet descriptions + maybe thumbnails#....like...id wanna have a script to follow before starting but theres NO reason i couldnt do it quickish#i HAVE chapter plans/outlines in my notebook already! and just concepts floating around#perhaps i made the theme for it already. perhaps i am planning as i type this. who really knows#.......LIKE IT JUST /WORKS BETTER AS A COMIC/ IDK WHAT TO SAY. I GUESS. IN THEORY ITS HAPPENING. MAYBE. NO PROMISES BUT. MAYBE REALLY#TwT#i want to have 3 chapters done before i start posting so not done anytime SOON. btw. just..in the works....maybe....#sanchoyorambles#also id like to wait until tmmn is finished so i can see if i wanna incorperate anything from it into it but.#what if it DOES get a s3 lol#i use a lot of stuff from la mode too!! what if we got new lore!!#id scream
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first psychiatry appointment done. feeling....weird about it.
(venting in the tags. cw for what might be transphobia but i'm not entirely sure lmao)
#vent post#tw vent post#she prescribed zoloft which alright whatever i expected that#but what got to me/rubbed me the wrong way was how she responded to me saying i was trans#she didn't ask me my pronouns or my gender identity. she jumped right into 'when did you first know you were a boy'#and i was already kind of messed up at that point (crying about other stuff) so it caught me off guard and I froze#like. i'm not a boy. i didn't say i was a boy.#but i didn't correct her and didn't get the chance to LATER because when I said 'well I figured it out in like 7th-8th grade'#she started talking about how MOST people figure out they're trans between the ages of 4-5 and how there's a lot of#''''''social pressure'''''' nowadays WHATEVER THAT MEANS??#and i was like. well okay. fuck me I guess my experiences aren't valid then??#and then she got kind of awkward about it and moved on so i never got the chance to actually. explain my gender identity#idk. the more i think about it the angrier i get. both at myself for not speaking up and her for saying that kind of shit at all#anyways i'm hoping she has nothing to do with my transition when I go to the endocrin people and talk to them abt it in July#and like she was nice and kind about pretty much everything else. it was just that one thing.#i also feel weird because i overheard the secretary guy tell somebody over the phone that she doesn't like to prescribe#stimulants even to people who have previously been diagnosed with ADHD which. ???? isn't that. the treatment for ADHD???#which makes me nervous because EYE am going to get tested for ADHD and other such potential neurodivergencies and like.#is she not going to prescribe meds for them if I do have those things?? and what if the testing comes back and I AM autistic#is she going to invalidate that too because there's so many people online who think they're autistic nowadays???#this all on top of the fact that i had a massive massive panic attack trying to find parking downtown where her office is so I was#already fraazzled and out of it going into the appointment lmao#ahem. so anyway. today has been so rough and I want to sleep for 60000 years.#OH OH OH OH AND WHEN I WAS LIKE 'yeah i took a 10mg thc gummy once but it gave me a massively bad panic attack'#she was like. 'good! I'm glad you reacted like that' and ??? what the hell? that also kinda took me aback. like. wtf??#why would you be glad that I had a panic attack so bad I almost called 911 and got myself taken to a hospital. like. hello.
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I dropped my phone in yoghurt this morning which somehow messed up the touch screen even more than it was already messed up, which has rendered my phone functionally useless now. it's frustrating for many reasons (two factor authentication apps being useless when the touch screen won't let me type in my passwords) but what really bothers me the most is how often I keep picking up the phone to go scroll Tumblr or something else before realising that's not going to work. really highlighting how often I use my phone for mindless social media scrolling. it's not a good look on me.
but also. it's a brick. that still delivers me notifications but it is also a brick that, when I dare open an app, even if I carefully try to scroll the wonky touch screen will within one single swipe have activated five different buttons and composed a letter to satan
#also it's not like the WHOLE phone dropped into the yoghurt. it was a corner. my phone is in a silicone case.#i could wipe it clean and it was fine.#but the touch screen has been wonky for so long i'd already ordered a replacement screen to fit in#(and a replacement battery because i last replaced the battery in 2021 and its due again)#so idk i guess some moisture got in anyway#or something idk#my phone is an iphone se from 2018 that i refuse to replace because a) i can't afford a new phone b) i can't afford a new phone and#c) i will repair it and continue repairing it until it dies for good because fuck apple#so yes i'm on tumblr on desktop right now just so i can make this post
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