#also i totally did not make these while i was supposed to prepare a big presentation haha

[nknoxe-n]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥Happy Campersೃ⁀➷

Synopsis: You're their special person of interest, one of you forgets a sleeping bag when you go camping together and has to share with the other <3

Warnings: [Shidou, that's it]

w.c 1k

note: If anyone wants, I will make little drabbles on each of them based off of these headcannons

(They'd forget their sleeping bag)

Isagi Yoichi: Sweet boy he's so embarrassed at first, he forgot his sleeping bag, and it's soooo cold out would you please let him share, he had the immediate idea to share almost like he was waiting for something like this to happen. He's so smitten once he gets inside the sleeping bag with you, once the both of you are half asleep he starts to wrap his arm around your waist and snuggle up to you, no doubt you'll wake up in a tangled mess.

Nagi Seishiro: He wouldn't care all too much but he 100% takes up most of the sleeping bag, just because he likes you doesn't mean he'll give up his precious sleeping space even if it's actually yours, besides he's just so big you can't expect to have a lot of room anyway. Nagi is totally a cuddle bug because there is too much hassle in having shame, if he wants something he'll just ask, you wouldn't mind right?

Bachira Meguru: Awh he's so sweet, when he realizes he forgot his sleeping bag he just pouts at the campfire for a good solid ten minutes before lighting up and asking if he can share with you, which how could you say no to that face? You'd have to convince him to not get naked because he sleeps naked no doubt in my mind about it, personally I don't see him asking if he can cuddle you he'll just do it but also respectful af he would pull away if you asked, surprisingly has cold hands all the time.

Reo Mikage: He did it on purpose… you both could have just stayed at his cottage to camp, but he insisted you go in a tent out in the woods with sleeping bags. He'd beg you with those big, stupid, purple, puppy eyes and I mean actually beg you, if you asked he'd get down on his knees for you (He loves to give, also soft dom or actual big bottom energy). If you end up agreeing he's actually kind of nervous, he wants it to go perfectly so he's mumbling bashfully like a school girl if he can hold you because he's a little cold, poor thing.

Niko Ikki: Ugh this little pathetic shrimp boy he's adorable, doesn't want to even ask permission to share a sleeping bag with you, he's too embarrassed, you'll have to be the one to ask or else he WILL sleep on the floor of his tent with nothing. I know for a fact this twink cuddles like a koala, doesn't matter if you're bigger or smaller than him, he will be climbing you.

Shidou Ryusei: He did it on purpose, he wants those cheeks, that's it. (#1 Shidou hater)

(You would forget your sleeping bag)

Barou Shoei: This man? You expect this man to forget, no way in hell, he'd rather march back to the house than get caught forgetting his own. He'll realize you forgot your sleeping bag before you and has already mentally prepared to share with you, in his mind there's no other alternative, what you want to freeze to death? He's super warm but will not hold you even if you ask, if you want to so badly you have to initiate it. Not only that, but he moves a lot in his sleep and finds it really hard to get comfortable, and will wake up with you on your back and him half on top of you and an arm around your waist.

Rin Itoshi: He will act SO mad at you when you tell him that you've forgotten your sleeping bag, how else are you supposed to camp now? I still will always believe Rin would never like someone unless you've known him since pre-brother removal or since he was young at least, so you've probably had sleepovers with him before. No matter how close you are just because he likes you doesn't mean he's going to act happy about it, but he's completely different once your asleep he's still awake, I see him being awake for a while just thinking because this man is emotionally constipated, but he'll cuddle you once he's sure that he can play it off in the morning as your fault for being clingy in your sleep.

Kunigami Rensuke: BIGGEST doofus ever, he is so sweet about it, instantly offering to go home and camp some other time since you don't have a sleeping bag but when you mention sharing he's a flustered mess, a MESS I say, but he'll agree to it. He asks if you're cold once you get settle and if you say yes he offers to hold you, not like there's much difference since it's a tight squeeze. He drools in his sleep so be prepared to wake up with that also he will have one of your legs in between his idk it's a comfort thing.

Tokimitsu Aoshi: Does anyone like this dork? Well I do so buckle up mf's, he was so worried about the entire trip of course he didn't forget his own sleeping bag, also how did you get this man in the woods at night? Either way, he is dying at the thought of sleeping in the same place as you, especially one so cramped because he likes you so much, and he has to make a perfect impression because in his mind he's so uninteresting and what if you hate him? It goes smoothly in reality, but he doesn't end up sleeping that night because he's afraid he might snore and wake you up. The end. No, but if you actually ask to cuddle he'll let you, but he will not only be awake all night he'll be tense too.

Shidou Ryusei: So in another universe where I don't hate this man, here's his headcannon. He wouldn't forget his sleeping bag, and he's already suggesting you two share the sleeping bag once he finds out you don't have yours, and he will cuddle up to you no questions asked. If he likes you, he LIKES you, he might try to turn it into something sexual, but if you don't want that he won't take it that far. He grips you in his sleep like he will have a fist full of your shirt, your thigh, hell even your hair. He dreams about hurting people and talks in his sleep also had the funniest bed head no questions asked.

[ikeuverse]

MR. FUNNY GUY — l.heeseung

PAIRING: heeseung x fem!reader  GENRES: fluff, humor WC: 3.8k+

WARNINGS: a few swear words, mentions of alcohol. yeji, sunghoon's sister, is portrayed in this fic as being of age, because there is a part that insinuates that she has been drinking.

SYNOPSIS: why was it so important to heeseung that you laughed at his antics? you hadn't felt the need he had to make you smile, to be the reason for your smile. a ride home was all he needed to understand your motives and talk to you about them.

NOTES: this came to me as a totally random thought and made me want to write it, without pretension. yes, konon is written as jake's girlfriend just because i wanted something totally different, and i've never seen anyone put her as the girlfriend of any of the boys. idk, nothing special, hehehe. i hope you like it!

masterlist

Every group of friends consists of having outstanding personalities or a representative for each thing among them. Heeseung could be the personification of the funny kid.

He had always been in charge of making the best jokes and making everyone laugh ever since he met his friends at the end of high school and the beginning of university. With Heeseung around, it was as if there was no sadness at all.

Even his attitude was that of a big, awkward, funny guy, which gave him even more credit for his antics. 

Heeseung was responsible for making Jake stop crying when he got his first low grade in calculus at university. Not even his girlfriend was able to cheer him up, but Heeseung trying to prepare a smoothie and forgot to close the lid of the blender, causing all the fruit and mixtures to fly around the kitchen... Oh, that got a good laugh out of Jake. And a few curses from Jay, for sure.

Heeseung was also responsible for making Sunghoon and Yeji cry with laughter a week after their puppy went missing. She was crying and he said he would help his friends find her, even if their hopes were slim. Heeseung did find her, but that didn't stop him from coming back all wet and with mud all over his shorts because the dog had wandered into a garden and he ran with his life to rescue her. Telling that story out loud made it all worthwhile in the end.

What Heeseung never managed was to get many smiles out of you, Yeji's best friend. It wasn't as if you and she joined Sunghoon's group of friends very often, but when you did, you were the only one who stayed quietly in the corner of the room and didn't crack a smile when he made a joke.

At first, it didn't make much difference to him, not least because you only appeared occasionally and Heeseung only found out about you sometime later. Because you really were so quiet that you seemed almost invisible. But as time went by and Yeji attended more and more of the boys' meetings – even more so after she and you made friends with Jake's girlfriend – Heeseung didn't want to admit it, but he started to feel a bit insulted. 

Why weren't you laughing at his jokes? Why didn't you crack a single smile at his antics in front of his friends? You were supposed to hate him, in Heeseung's mind. That was the only explanation for why he never saw a single curved movement of your lips.

"Relax, man" Sunghoon said one night when the two of them were in the kitchen preparing the popcorn for the movie. "Yeji said that Y/n is like that, very closed," he took a larger bowl to pour the contents into, placing it next to another in case he needed a spare. "She took a while to open up to the girls, so maybe it's nothing personal."

So it would seem. Heeseung thought, rolling his eyes as he tried to forget about it and focus on the movie night they all had together.

A whole month passed and he tried not to focus on the thought that you didn't like him, because if that were the case, Heeseung would have gotten there first. He knew everyone there before you did, so if you didn't like him, you might as well not hang out with them anymore and just be friends with Yeji and Jake's girlfriend.

But no, that night what he wanted to happen happened. And without expecting much, without creating any expectations that you would smile at him.

"What are you three doing?" Sunghoon approached and ruffled Yeji's hair, hearing his little sister grumble and curse him for it. 

"Trying to make sushi at home" she huffed "But Konon's the only one who can, and she gives the hardest tasks to me and Y/n to do."

"Come on, I think we're doing fine," you said, avoiding looking at Konon because you knew she was laughing at the two of you.

You held up a hot roll you had just rolled, hoping it wouldn't fall out of your hand and spill all the rice. Your eyes met Sunghoon's and then looked at Heeseung, who was standing in the kitchen doorway.

"You're doing a great job," Sunghoon complimented.

"Yeah, long and crooked... Looks like Sunghoon" Heeseung pointed to the hotroll in his hand, and he almost shouted when he heard the sound of your laughter.

It wasn't possible what Heeseung's eyes were seeing at that moment. You. Laughing and then smiling at him... Did that really happen?

Sunghoon abruptly turned to Heeseung as if he was thinking the same thing. Of course, he and the boys were the only ones to hear Heeseung's lament that you never smiled at anything he did. But now it had just happened.

And he wasn't sure if he wanted to see it again, because strangely Heeseung's heart was pumping in a way that he wasn't happy about. Not to mention the fact that, apart from thinking about your smile and the sound of your laugh for weeks, the boy wasn't proud to say that he had dreamt about it.

Was it stupid to say that he had actually dreamed of your smile? Shit, that couldn't be possible.

"Heeseung!" Jake shouted to get his friend's attention, snapping his fingers in front of his face.

"Fuck, what a fright" Heeseung wriggled in his chair "What's wrong?"

"I've been calling you for about five minutes, what world were you in?"

"In the world where Y/n keeps smiling at him" Sunghoon hummed.

Fucking bastard... How did Sunghoon have to be so direct like that? All right, his friends knew and couldn't stand to hear Heeseung fantasize about it for weeks, but hearing it out loud from someone else made him feel like a bit of an idiot.

"In my defense, I'm still in shock about this" he tried to say, hearing Jay's laughter from across the room.

"Still? How long has it been... like, three weeks? A month?" he asked, already knowing the answer. If Heeseung were to count, it had been a month and a few days, because every month the girls tried to make a different food. And he distinctly remembers his skills – not unlike Konon's – in rolling the seaweed into sushi.

"Do you like her?" Jake sprawled further back on the sofa, almost throwing his legs over Heeseung's lap. Sunghoon was sitting on the floor staring at the TV while the movie was still playing.

"What? No" he said too quickly, regretting it the moment all the boys' eyes landed on him.

"Dude, you literally went to great lengths just to make her laugh for you" Jay got up from his chair to walk over to Sunghoon and sit down next to him on the floor.

"And when that happened, you didn't stop talking about it the whole time," Jake added.

"I said you could all make me stop talking—"

"We don't want to, it's cute" Sunghoon smiled "Besides I think it happened a few more times after sushi night."

"What?" it was Heeseung's turn to shout, startling Jake who was cursing at him quietly as he curled up on the sofa.

At that moment Heeseung was standing in the living room, pacing back and forth near the TV and watching his friends with mixed feelings. Jake was still recovering from his shock, Sunghoon was pressing his lips together, feeling guilty for saying it just then. While Jay held in his laughter and closed his eyes to wait for the conversation to unfold.

"You're just telling me about this now? Fuck Sunghoon, what do you mean?"

"Dude, I'm sorry" he said, "It's just that you got so excited about it that if I told you she smiled a few more times, you might explode."

"I'm exploding right now" from the coloring of his face, it could be possible.

What do you mean you smiled at Heeseung or something related to him and Sunghoon didn't say anything at all? Now he wanted to know, what was the occasion? Had he done something funny, said something at the wrong time, or made a joke? Or did you genuinely smile just because he was around? What had been the circumstance in which you smiled at him?

"All your gears are turning at the moment and I think it's my fault" Sunghoon got up from the floor, straightening his pants and then sighing, "But she smiled at times when you weren't looking."

"Why?"

"Look, I know your mind because I've lived with you for years, but I have no idea what she was thinking about it" Sunghoon's words had a unique effect on Heeseung. He was even more pensive.

"Yeah, he's right" Jake said.

"You too..." Heeseung then turned to Jay.

"Dude, we talked about this for hours and worked it out together," he defended himself, cringing when the other threatened to approach.

"Hey, calm down!" Sunghoon held him by the shoulders even though he knew his friend would do absolutely nothing to any of the three "Now that you know, you can do something about it."

"Yes, kill the three of you."

"Or talk to her and ask why" Jake shrugged and stood up, giving his best smile in response "Now how about we order something to eat? I'm starving."

"No, no more drinks for you today, young lady" Sunghoon snatched the glass from Yeji's hand, listening to his sister's protests even though she was already a little upset.

"But hey, we're celebrating" she tried to catch it, but to no avail, her older brother was taller and would surely use that to his advantage.

"Celebrating what? The loss of your liver?" Heeseung looked around at the number of glasses on the kitchen counter.

He sighed as he imagined that the owner of that house would have an extremely difficult time cleaning up, but his thoughts were soon cut loose by the sound of laughter that flooded the room. His body went still and his eyes widened at the sight of your standing in front of the kitchen door.

"Hey, Heeseung, you look like you've seen a haunting" you waved at him, smiling briefly and then turning your eyes back to the Park siblings.

"He just heard something" Sunghoon added.

Not knowing what it was, you didn't bother asking him and just walked into the kitchen where the three of them were still standing.

"What's going on?" you asked.

"Yeji's already drunk, so let's go home."

"But she's celebrating," you pouted "It's not every day you get an A in Professor Choi's class."

"The worst professor at that university" Yeji picked up a glass to raise and pretend to toast, then put it back on the counter.

"But you've had enough, so I think you'd better go home" he looked at his sister and then at you "Has Jake taken Konon yet?"

"They just got home, Jay told me as soon as I came into the kitchen" you looked around for something to drink "And you two, what are you doing here?"

Sunghoon had gone after Yeji before he left and Heeseung had been in charge of looking for you, so the two of them could take you home safe and sound. But he didn't want to say that out loud.

"We came after you two," Sunghoon replied.

"Okay, let's go" Yeji whined "I won't be able to finish my drink anyway."

"Not even if we just have one more beer? It'll be quick and—"

"Nope" Heeseung stood in front of you when you threatened to approach the fridge. Looking up thanks to his height, this was the closest he had come to you since you two met.

It might have been the effect of the drink or the moment itself, but he looked glistening and that had – strangely – made your heart flutter.

Blame the drink, blame the drink, please.

"Come on Y/n, these two dullards don't know what fun is" Yeji pushed past Heeseung, ignoring his protests as she grabbed you by the arm and pulled you out of the kitchen.

"That's it man, a few more moves and you two would be kissing in this kitchen" Sunghoon held Heeseung by the shoulders without missing an opportunity to tease him.

He acted on instinct to stand in front of you so that you wouldn't advance into the kitchen, right? He also ignored the distance between the two of you because he miscalculated his steps and Sunghoon was right to say how close you and Heeseung were. But those thoughts had to be pushed aside as quickly as possible.

And that happened when Jay's voice echoed in Heeseung's ears, standing next to his friend's car.

"Can you take Y/n home?" he asked. Heeseung didn't want to show his shock, but the orbs almost popping out in the expression that caught him off guard made Jay laugh right away "I've had a few drinks and I certainly won't be able to drive."

"But—"

"Take her and come back for me" Jay handed Heeseung the keys to his car.

"Why don't you just go along? I can drop you home later."

"Because I'm not finished here yet" Jay's lips protruded forward in a pout, he took a few steps away from Heeseung, nodding and smiling at his friend "And I don't want to witness anything pornographic in my car. Unless I'm the one doing it," he shouted the last part and Heeseung turned sharply in the direction you were with the Park siblings. 

He would have given anything at that moment for you to be so drunk that you hadn't heard any of the shit Jay had said so far.

"Where's Jongseong going?" Yeji asked when he saw the boy disappearing among some people in the garden of the house.

"He said he didn't finish whatever it is in there" Heeseung sighed "Come on Y/n, I'll take you home."

None of you missed the mischievous giggle that escaped from Yeji, soon to be joined by Sunghoon. Heeseung knew very well about his friend, but why did his little sister even seem to be complicit?

"Do you know where I live?" you asked so naturally that Heeseung had forgotten how serious you were whenever you were around him.

"No, but you can tell me while we go in Jay's car," he said, and you just agreed and let him guide you to the vehicle. Neither of you cared what the Park siblings said as you and Heeseung walked to Jay's car. He showed himself to be a tremendous gentleman by opening the door for you and checking that everything was okay until you buckled your seatbelt so he could close the door and turn the car around.

"Can we go?" he asked and you nodded, giving Heeseung the coordinates so he could get to your house.

For Heeseung, the silence was necessary while he reorganized his thoughts because, for the first time, he was in a place alone with you. That had never happened since the two of you met.

Now for you, the silence was agonizing because it made you think and observe. To think about how hard you'd tried to get away from that man next to you and to observe how well he drove. His hands firmly gripping the leather of the steering wheel, his long fingers drumming now and then when they stopped at a traffic light or how agile his hand was at holding the gearshift. You also found yourself swallowing when his hand accidentally hit your leg when changing gears. He wasn't doing it on purpose, you knew that, but it was inevitable not to smile quickly.

"We're here" he was the first to break the silence, indicating that he had followed your coordinates very well, and now the two of you were parked inside Jay's car and in front of your apartment complex.

You looked out of the window, a sigh escaping your lips as you looked back at the boy in the car sitting next to you.

"Thanks, Heeseung" you said sincerely, opening a smile when his eyes met yours. Heeseung smiled too, but he didn't look so happy about it. He seemed... Annoyed?

"Can I ask you something, Y/n?" he said just like that, not even bothering to respond to your thanks. But you didn't mind either, after all, your sobriety was starting to kick in, but even so, your alcohol-addled body made you more curious than usual.

"Anything," you said.

It took him a while to formulate that question, pondering whether he should really ask it or just let it go and get on with his life as if it didn't affect him. But it certainly did. Heeseung knew why he had dreamt it, he had to ask.

"Why haven't you ever smiled at me?" might seem like a silly question from the outside, or even sad if the person was as sentimental as Heeseung.

At first, your eyebrows drew together in surprise. But then everything relaxed and you unbuckled your belt to turn around and face the boy.

"What do you mean?"

Heeseung repeated your gesture a few seconds later, unbuckling his belt and turning to face you too.

"I mean, ever since we met you've never smiled at anything I've done," he shrugged, trying to sound firm in his words, not wanting to waver or show how ridiculous it might seem "Surely Yeji has already let it slip that I'm the clown of the group and, I don't know, you're the only person who's never given me a single smile."

"Does that bother you?"

No. He should answer, to appear tougher.

"Yes, a little" Heeseung didn't want to follow his thoughts, he wanted to act on the emotion of the moment "I thought you didn't like me or, at worst, thought I was so dull that you begged the girls to get away every time we met in a group."

He was being so honest with you, opening up so genuinely that you felt a little bad. Maybe your way of acting on everything you'd heard hadn't been nice, you might have been a bit extreme with it.

"I'm sorry" was all you managed to say, without knowing exactly why you were apologizing. Whether it was for your reaction or for never getting to Heeseung and wanting to get to know him.

"Why?" he asked.

You didn't want him to ask, so you wouldn't have to explain yourself, you'd get out of the car and drive away. But Heeseung's sparkling eyes seemed to call out to you every second, guiding you to him as if you belonged there, staring at him as the words came freely out of his mouth.

"We have a group of friends at college and certainly Yeji's brother and his friends are sometimes a topic," your gaze quickly shifted to the window behind Heeseung. Anything being more interesting than his eyes paying attention to you right now "I once commented that... Well..."

"Say, it's okay," he tried to encourage you and you looked back at him, could blame it on the drink if something got out of hand, and would say the next day that you didn't remember anything you were saying. Even though by then your sobriety had reached more than half of your body.

"I told I thought you were very handsome" you nibbled your lower lip and continued, not even giving Heeseung time to process the information "A friend of ours said that you were not only handsome but funny, but that was a danger."

"What? Why?" he tried to shake off the tingling feeling in his chest and his cheeks heating up at the confession. So you thought he was handsome from the start.

"Have you ever heard of the theory of the funny boy being a danger?" you crossed your arms and snorted when Heeseung denied it with a nod "He'll make you laugh so much, you'll laugh. Laugh and laugh until you're naked in his bed."

It was his turn to laugh, hiding his face with his hands and messing up his hair.

"Shut up, don't laugh," you groaned in frustration, uncrossing your arms and trying to push his hand away from your face. The contact was electrifying, even if it only lasted a few seconds. Heeseung uncovered his face and looked at you.

"So Yeji's friend said that about me, and you believed it?" Heeseung wanted to sound confident as he raised an eyebrow, even though, if he had to get out of that car, his legs would be as soft as jelly.

"Well..." a few seconds passed and you sighed, "I avoided contact so I wouldn't have to believe it. I don't know, preserve myself as much as possible since you seem to be well known at the university."

"So you didn't want to smile at me because you thought you'd end up in my bed?" Heeseung leaned forward a little, looking a little defiant. You leaned forward too, your hands resting on your lap.

"You make all the girls smile, what difference would it make if I smiled at you?"

Don't be so honest, Heeseung thought to himself, but it was already done when he launched into it.

"Maybe because your smile is beautiful and when that happened on sushi night, I ended up dreaming for a long time."

"What? Did you dream about my smile?" you almost shouted in the car.

"Too many questions for one night, don't you think?" Heeseung pretended to shake himself, looking for the car keys that he hadn't even taken out of the ignition. Turning on the air conditioning might be a good idea since neither of you made any mention of leaving.

"Too many confessions for one night" you leaned back in your seat.

"I think we're going to need a few more nights for you to tell me more" he also leaned back in his seat, but his head remained turned in your direction.

"Are you asking me out on a date?"

"Would you?" he asked back, a stupid – but extremely beautiful – smile adorning his lips as he said again, "I want to prove that friend of yours completely wrong."

"I'd love that, then" to his surprise, asking you out had been completely light-hearted. He didn't feel like throwing up or running away, or even saying something silly, stuttering... Nothing. Heeseung was just himself as he watched you bend down to him and brush your lips against the corner of his.

From the way Heeseung's head was tilted, giving indications that he wasn't going to move, you purposely kissed him on the corner of the lips, pulling away before he made any risky moves.

"I'm waiting for a message from you so we can make an appointment, mr. funny guy."

You winked at him, watching as the tip of Heeseung's tongue traced the exact spot where your lips touched the corner of his. The smile never left him as he watched you open the door, wave, and close it to leave.

A smile had never left Lee Heeseung like that.

© ikeuverse, 2024. do not copy, translate or steal my stories.

[josnhoes]

Platonic!Yan batfam with young adult reader. Part 2

[Part one]

Note: Reader is 18-22 years old. Gn reader

Content warning: being treated like a child, being looked down on, stalking, obsessions, soft yandere but still a yandere, reader has memory issues and it's ambiguous as to why, drugging, mentioned abduction, delusional batfam, batfam as a whole basically view you as a child younger then Damien despite you being older

Focuses on Tim Drake

---

For the following week you'd noticed one or a few of the bat brood following you in the evenings. You weren't sure *why*, but it did make you feel a bit safer so you didn't complain. It was Gotham, any sense of safety was welcome.

The small book shop and coffee place you worked at didn't get a ton of customers. It was a hole in the wall style place, sometimes it got new customers but a majority we're regulars. There were also a few college students who used the late hours to buy a single coffee, then use the free wifi to do class work. Today's shift had you on coffee duty.

The bell chimed, signaling a customer or what you *hoped* was a customer. You looked up and were flabbergasted to see Timothy Drake, the co-ceo of Wayne enterprises. Normally you didn't pay much attention to CEOs of anything, but the Waynes were like the poster family for Gotham. One way or another you learned their faces and the names.

As he approached the counter you did your best to smile and not seem nervous. "Hello sir can I help you today?"

The look he gave you almost seemed to be taking you apart peice by peice; assessing you down to your soul. "I'll take a large coffee and as many shots of espresso as you can legally give me. For here."

You supposed today was going to be one of those™️ days. "Of course sir. Feel free to sit where ever you like. Would you like something to eat too?"

"No thanks." He seemed to soften now and once you gave the total he paid with a nice tip. Though he chose the spot closest to you to work. Probably because that was the best area for wifi signal you supposed.

You got his order out fast since it looked like he needed caffeine more then oxygen at this point. As you placed the drink down you had the urge to talk to him but decided against it.

Tim had been having a trying week. He could balance his nightlife and the company fairly well; but the addition of you had been a problem. He didn't know what it was about you that pulled him and his family in. He'd gone over your entire life that he could find multiple times now, and nothing ever changed. No secret identity, no shady acts, aside from some strange tumblr activity you were clear. Mind you all activity on tumblr was weird as he came to see. The entire batfam either made accounts just to follow you, the ones had them already followed you too.

The family adored you and he...was no exception. He tried to be, the way his family was spiraling and for one civilian was alarming. But he couldn't fight it. You were special. You *needed* them to keep you safe. You obviously couldn't be trusted to do it on your own, just today you forgot to lock your home.

While yes it made putting the cameras in your home easier, it also meant that you could have gotten robbed or worse. You'd admitted to being spacey at times online, made a joke of it but it was dangerous.

He finally took the time to sip on the coffee. It was good, better than most places he had. You clearly knew your way around the machine. Would you make him coffee in the mornings? Tell him to have a good day as you called him your favorite big brother? He needed to know.

The more he watched you, the more he worried for you. What if you got hurt? Not even in a rogue attack but in general. You obviously cooked for yourself, and cleaned. Knives and chemicals? Too dangerous for his baby sibling, and he hated knowing if something *did* happen you might be alone.

He'd speed up the family's preparations for you. You'd fight them at first so they had to prepare a special room. But you'd see how well they cared for you, how much they all loved you, and everything they could provide. Hopefully the room will be ready soon.

[imagionationstation]

Something I was thinking about today:

The claim that Splinter “never feeds his sons human food” and they have to discover it upon reaching the surface is a curious one.

It makes sense given common information.

Let’s use our big brains. Reason out some more info.

Info like… Splinter must have looked up information about turtles before buying four baby turtles.

However, after getting turned into a rat and ending up a father to infants on the run from aliens, he probably never got the chance to go to the library or use the Internet to look up information on how to feed a half-human half-turtle hybrid baby.

(Not that the Internet had forums for that yet. Was the internet prevalent in 2012…?)

So he just. Fed them turtle food and hoped for the best.

(The Japanese are know for eating insects. And algae is commonly used in all kinds of their recipes. For Americans, it sounds crazy. For Splinter, it was just an adaption of his own diet in the hopes of providing his mutant children with safe, normal turtle food.)

By the time they were kids, they’d probably just gotten used to a routine. We really have no proof that algae and worms is bad for the turtles. Tastes yucky? Maybe. But humans eat plants and bugs too.

Splinter was likely just working with what he knew.

But I don’t think they only ever ate algea. Don’t get me wrong-

The theory is totally understandable. I was onboard for this claim for a while myself. Then, I rewatched Lone Rat and Cubs. (Bebés 🥰🥰)

And he definitely introduces them to foods.

I’m seeing noodles, gyoza, (bamboo stick?), and he also throws down something yellow that I can’t recognize. We also see him collecting bread for them and dangling food over the little piranha children.

He continues to collect products for them. Maybe not the healthiest because he’s literally raiding trashcans but… He’s trying.

And then we have some popcorn proof that he’s still introducing them to human foods when they’re kiddos, with Mikey happily snacking on some while they’re in the dojo.

During the series, we see very little new introductions to foods. They eat romen, icecream, popcorn, and drink milk, tea, and other human things without so much as batting an eye.

Ergo, they’ve had human foods. They’ve just never had pizza.

Why do they act like such goobers when introduced to pizza?

BECAUSE THEY’RE GOOBERS, YOUR HONOR!!!

Though- they actually act similarly when introduced to pizza gyoza.

They hesitate. And then something explodes with how tasty it is.

But because this list is far to short to be a proper analysis, there’s also the point to be made for the first episode where they have an entire kitchen set-up going around them.

And I’m no New York Subway expert, but do they normally have kitchens set up within them? Probably not.

Which means that Splinter (and/or his sons) must have set this up. Why set up pantries, a fridge, and a stove if you did not intend to house foods or make foods to cook on them?

After all, the food on the plates appear fresh and raw.

They have an algae pool for harvesting in the lab. Why would they need to create an entire kitchen set-up simply to prepare them?

Also, they know how to use chopsticks for big and small foods. If they’d spent their entire lives eating small foods, it would be a teenie bit difficult to change the method of picking up a fatter breading than a tiny greenery or worm. Especially with mutant hands.

But they don’t hesitate. As if they have picked up larger foods before.

Also, also, they know what a cake is. What it’s supposed to be made out of. Hence why Leo knows what “icing” is.

I’m not normally that excited to taste something that I’ve never tried before (unless someone is hyping me up). It feel implied that they have and that’s why they’re disappointed that Mikey made one of not-cake substances and why Mikey looks like he has regrets.

Also, also, also- considering Splinter eats the algae and worms too, I don’t believe that he has the turtles on a purely algae based diet because he’d have to stick himself on one too. Man’s not a fan.

And he knows that other foods exist. So. Why would he?

In other words, my favorite analogy:

I hate Spinach salad. My mother used to make us eat Spinach salad.

Were there better things to eat than Spinach? Yeah.

Did mom even listen to that point? Nope.

But was it still technically good for me so I was forced to stomach Spinach salad until I was old enough to design my own diet?

You betcha. And I hated every minute of it 👍

So, to end this, I have to say that while algea and worms could have been (at maximum) a common meal for the turtles, I don’t think it was their only meal option. I’m not necessarily saying it was the best idea or the tastiest meal for a birthday-type celebration, but the turtles definitely had outside food exposure.

Do with this knowledge what you will.

[laroserie]

— characters : my oc's - separate ! ( yandere!incubus - yandere!omega - yandere!high noble fae - yandere!piercer )

— content : x gender neutral reader - spending christmas with them, typical holiday fluff, the yandere-ness isn't really here ( expect for yan!omega )

— authors note : ... i haven't posted the introduction post for my yandere piercer but ! it's okay :) also ! this was supposed to be a lil bonus but writers block is kicking my ass so you get this

• yandere! incubus

Before you he wasn't exactly big on doing christmas at home - he used to go out in bars and picked people up to go have 'fun' in the bathroom of the said bars.

After you came into his life, and he kidnapped you, he obviously stopped doing that and finally saw the perspective that christmas was a holiday to spent with thoses that are dear to you. And well, you were more than dear to him.

He will set up and decorate the christmas tree with you - he prefer for it to be neat so he may fix up what you put up when you aren't in the room.

In term of christmas eve, unless you are a good cook - you both are eating a regular take out for it, but he will purchase a yule log though !

And for christmas in itself, he will buy you a gift - you most likely will know what it is in advance because he isn't exactly discrete when asking what 'you could eventually want but it's only hypothetical and totally not for christmas'.

On the 25th of december, he will wake you up very early, like 6am. He will act surprised and happy whatever you gift him. Will jump into your arms and kiss you. And you better act surprised and happy at this gift too if you don't want him to be all grumpy.

• yandere! omega

Asper most likely forces you two to spent christmas like a 'regular' couple - except for the all hanging out outside and looking at the decorations or going to a christmas market. It maybe a holiday season but he cannot afford any risks or you leaving him.

He will try his best though. He will decorate the entire house to be christmas themed - in the hope that he may win a few points with you, after all yes. He may be holding you captive but hey, at least he made the house cute, he deserves something for that right ?

He'll try to make you forget for a moment your current situation - he is delusional enough to think that him trying to give you a sense of normalcy ( which he do mostly for himself ) may make you like him more - or forgive him a bit for kidnapping you.

He's the type to cook an entire christmas dinner and force feed you it - he will buy oysters force them down your throat, he will cook scallops and cut them in smalls bits and make you eat them while you are tied up to a chair, with red ropes, obviously.

• yandere! high noble fae

Christmas is not really a thing for faes, they have somewhat similar holiday, mostly focused around gift giving and spending time with your family but it happen during the summer and is quite underwhelming compared to christmas.

Realistically they already knew about christmas but they couldn't bring it first, they could wait for you to bring it up. But they already have prepared a few things like a gift for you and a small tree, it's in one of their closet which they forbade you from cleaning since you started working as a servant.

Once you bring up christmas, they laugh at your face and tell you something along the line of 'Do you really think, I could celebrate a silly human holiday ? How do you take me for ?' but it will be quickly followed by a 'Well, if you beg well enough I may indulge you.". Even if you don't beg, they will be very much in on celebrating christmas.

With only the two of you of course ! They refuses to get anyone else involved - with the exceptions of their family cook which they will give the tasks of cooking.

They use this as an occasions to make a ginger bread house, they saw various things about it while reading human literature and they always wanted to try so they will act as if they only did it for you. ( The house ended up breaking after 30 seconds and the kitchen they borrowed was such a mess, cleaning up was awful and they regret their idea - they still check it out of their list of thing to do. )

• yandere! piercer

Thomas was never big on christmas and it doesn't change with you - if you really insist in it he will try his best to be enthusiastic about it but don't expect too much from him.

He won't even help you decorate or anything - at most he will get you a gift for christmas that he won't brother wrapping up and will accompany you at a christmas market solely for the food, and because he does find it cute and romantic to walk around with you in the snow.

[writebackatya]

McDuck Family Members Most Likely to Start Sh*t at Thanksgiving Dinner

Ah Thanksgiving. The holiday celebrated on the 4th Thursday of November (in America that is), one with food, family, and celebrating what we’re thankful for! (Wanna feel bad? Learn about the holiday’s origins!)

And no family is quite as big as the found family from DuckTales; so arguments are bound to happen at a dinner table filled with so many zany characters with interesting pasts and quirks. Let’s honor those who would throw the first punch at a family dinner, shall we?

Bentina Beakley

I wanna cut Beakley some slack. She most likely had a long day before dinner even started what with all the preparations she did for dinner. Not just cooking for 20+ family members plus other side/recurring characters but also the cleaning and presentation

But let’s face it. This woman can be so condescending at times. And judgmental. You just know if someone is showing up to dinner wearing jeans and sweater she’d have something to say about it. And she strikes me as someone who would slam the dishes while cleaning them only for someone to say, “Hey Beakley do you need help with the dishes?” and then she’d be like “No. It’s fine. I got them”

But it’s not fine. Go help her with the dishes. She deserves a break

Dewey Duck

When I was first thinking about this list I originally thought “No way any of the triplets would start anything on Thanksgiving” Huey is a good boy and Louie would definitely take it easy on a day where you’re legally allowed to sit around, be lazy, and eat food. But then I remembered Dewey and how much of a diva he can be

We know Dewey is an entertainer and with everyone coming to dinner, he has a huge “captive” audience that he can perform for. Whether it be an original Thanksgiving song, a one man Dewey show about the first Thanksgiving, a sonnet about a bonnet, or a very special Thanksgiving episode of Dewey Dew-Night; that kid will want all the attention in him. And the very second the spotlight is taken off, oh boy…

Gladstone Gander

Look at this prick. Don’t you wanna slap his face!?!Anyway I love Gladstone Gander, but he’s the kind of family member that just would go on and on about himself and bring every conversation back to him again and how great his life is

That’s great Gladstone. Happy for you, the rest of us have to pay for our sushi but cool. Glad your good luck is really paying off, jerk

But honestly. It’s his tone. It’s the kind of tone that gives off that he knows he’s starting shit but won’t admit it

Goldie O’Gilt

I mean, it’s Goldie. What else can I say?

Gandra Dee

Oh man. There’s so many different ways controversy would start with this morally gray ex-FOWL agent and I’m here for it. Let’s face it, out of all the characters present, Gandra Dee would most likely be the one to bring up the holiday’s horrible origins. If anyone is making it their duty to make a rich white family uncomfortable on Thanksgiving, it’s Gandra Dee

She’d get political and even directly ask Scrooge who exactly he voted for in the past two Presidential elections (he claims to be progressive, but he’s still the richest duck in the world. Just how many tax cuts is this man getting to keep that status?)

Oh and what about the treatment of her overwork and underpaid boyfriend? Why is he still working in the bathroom?

Oddly enough, I can see her and Scrooge bonding over a mutual disdain for Gladstone Gander. What a prick

Kit Cloudkicker

It’s not that exactly what Kit does that’ll start a fight, but what he doesn’t do.

Kit is the kinda guy that was supposed to bring a dessert but totally forgot to pick something up from the bakery so instead he’s stopping at the gas station on the way to dinner to pick up some Twinkies

Kit is the kinda guy that would “take a walk” before dinner and not do anything to hide the scent and now all the kids are wondering how a skunk got inside

Gyro Gearloose

It’s Gyro. Something is bound to piss him off at some point

Doofus Drake

I am so tired of the fandom not including Doofus in this found family (Louie and him made up and are friends now and BOYD is his brother, sorry it’s canon) so he’s here on the list

But he’s still a new addition to this family. And a weirdo and a rich brat with a lot of issues that someone should seriously help him with. He’s gonna make everyone uncomfortable. Is it intentional? Or is he just being Doofus? Who knows

What I do know is this, don’t eat the dish he brought.

Della, Donald, and Scrooge!

The original three!

These three are responsible for splitting up the family in the first place so it’s no surprise that they’re number one on this list!!

Yes they’ve squashed their beef with one another and moved past the Spear of Selene, but they are still themselves

The ones most likely to start shit over the dumbest things

These three are going to be bickering over who should carve the turkey. And the argument will be so loud and hectic that no one will question why a bunch of birds are eating a turkey

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this list. It wasn’t meant to slander any characters, just did it for fun. Happy Thursday everyone.

[hannahssimblr]

The marquee holds extraordinary heat. It reminds me of the family holiday I took with Maureen and her kids to Florida, that phenomenal, stupefying heat, and the air like soup. I felt too tired to do anything but swim around in the resort pool for those two weeks, but that was the whole point. We went to laze about. I bobbed on a big yellow pool floater while the others slept on the deck chairs until the sun dipped over Daytona Beach and it was bearable enough to move again. 

Here, light permeates through polyester walls, diffusing a blue hue, and the air is constrictive like a panic attack. It smells too, of hot plastic and grass, and all the people who didn’t queue for the showers this morning. 

“It’s gross in here,” I comment, bellowing already because every voice in the whole marquee bounces off the walls and raises the volume to incomparable levels. 

Joe laughs and makes fun of my accent for Kasper’s benefit. “Gross, man, totally freakin’ gross, my dude.”

“Do you want to stay or go?”

“It’s Crystal Castles!”

“Okay, so, stay?”

“Yeah, duh.” With a hand on my back, Joe propels me into the crowd, where we push through, closer and closer to the front. The atmosphere is so unpleasant, so hot, so stuffy, and even though I’ve been drinking all afternoon, my head still twists with unwanted thoughts. I feel my phone vibrate. 

It’s Jen, as expected. 

Where are you? We’re going to see Slash now. Also, Evie has asked where you are a few times. 

I shove it back into my shorts pocket, and something crinkles against my hand.

Ah. I had forgotten about this.

I subtly pull out the baggie from yesterday, the one from Weed Alison, and turn it over in my hand. I know I shouldn’t, that I tell everyone who asks me that don’t do any of this anymore, but these little pink pills lure me in like a siren. They hold promises of escapism, if only just for an hour.

And then, what didn’t even seem like an option yesterday seems almost sensible today.

“Hey, do you want one?” I ask Joe, “you and Kasper. I’ve three.”

He cranes his neck. “What’s that?” 

“Ket.”

“Oh, I’ve never done that.”

“You want to try it?”

He looks to Kasper for reassurance, and his friend shrugs noncommittally. “Well, what’s it like?”

“Pretty strange.”

“Okay,” he says. I tip two tablets into his palm and one, the last, into my mouth.

He winces as we dry-swallow. “Ugh, it’s disgusting.” 

I suppress a cough. “Did you expect gourmet?”

“I didn’t expect pure shite.”

“Well, it’s probably worth it.”

“Probably?”

As I watch the stage, I eagerly anticipate the moment my soul separates from my body while the roadies prepare. Once the gig starts, the ground begins to sway like a fairground ride. It’s the same thrill too, the same loss of control as when you’re floating through the air, when the floor gives way beneath your feet and you’re weightless, like something caught on the wind. 

“Woah.” Joe cries at one point, and I am viewing both him and Kasper through a fisheye lens. I just laugh, because everything is silly, and nothing matters the way it did this morning. Thoughts derail like train carriages tipped off the line, and my brain emerges from a pool of cool water, washed clean of every thought that has ever held significance in my whole life. 

I was sceptical of Ketamine once, back before I understood it, and clung tightly to the edgy, but familiar high I got from cocaine. It was Alison who gave me some at a house party last summer, my first bump, and with plasticine limbs we danced in the kitchen to someone’s dad’s CD collection, with a sense that we could do whatever we liked, and it wouldn’t be weird. I hadn’t felt that way since I was nine. 

Kaleidoscopic lights mesmerise me in the marquee. The music is strange, but perhaps it is supposed to be. All music is strange, if you think about it. Who decides which beats and melodies sound good, anyway? How do we know that? The singer decides to crowd surf and comes close enough for me to touch her boot. It would be funny if I took it off. This is a fact. I lank at the laces while Kasper laughs, this maniacal, unselfconscious laugh, and I join in. I don’t know what I’ll do with the boot once it’s off, but it’s the funniest possible thing to do. Maybe I’ll display it in my college apartment one day, say it belonged to Alice Glass, and have to argue with everyone that doesn’t believe me. 

“I feel weird.” Joe says. 

“That’s good.” 

“No, I think- I feel wrong.”

“It’s not wrong. Don’t make it wrong.”

“I feel wrong,” and I look at him, with his pitch black eyes panicked, and then he heaves.

And he bolts out of the crowd.

“Oh.” I look at Kasper, and him at me, and realise my teeth are sweating. “Do you think it’s bad ket?”

“I don’t know.” He says, and I'm suddenly aware that if I attempt any more words, I will throw them up. 

Throwing up in a crowd is not the ideal place to do it, I know this, but it is difficult to escape with legs that feel lead-weighted, when the earth is tilted so dramatically that I am scaling it. 

“I’m going to vom.” I announce, and a path clears so quickly that it feels biblical. 

I hit the back of the tent, and it goes everywhere. Everywhere. It splashes on my shoes and up the walls, and Joe is there too, my partner in crime, vomiting just as violently as I am. I wonder if I should pat him on the back, or give him a high five, or something.

By the time Kasper falls in line and completes our trio, security is already on us, and all that seemed so easy and funny before now fills me with unspeakable dread.

“Outside,” one barks, grabbing fistfuls of my t-shirt and hauling me toward the door. “You’re pissed.”

“No,” I protest hoarsely, “We’re fine.”

Kasper retches again, inspiring another wave of nausea within me.

“Fuck sake!” the bouncer cries as I get sick on his trousers. “Youse are a disgrace. Get out.”

And we find ourselves the grass, lying face up as the clouds drift by, and the world is still tilting, like it wants to slide us right off the face of it.

“Should we do something?” Joe manages. 

“Like what?”

“Get a doctor?”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” I say, before I roll over to the side and throw up in the soil. 

Neil, the volunteer nurse, is very kind and patient with me for the time I spend in his company. 

“I imagine it’s all out of your system now.” He tells me. “How do you feel?”

“Tired,” I sigh, staring up at the ceiling I spent the last hour getting to know. I haven’t been sick since I got here, it seems I yacked it all out on the field, but I have been so thoroughly prodded and poked that I’ve become irritable, bored, even, as time ticks on and the festival rages on outside the flimsy doors of the medical tent. I turn my head to him, in his blue scrubs and the stethoscope he used on me slung around his neck, and the fear of his judgement arrives. It’s how I know the ket is gone. “That’s never happened to me before, by the way. That reaction was a new thing.”

“You said you’ve taken ketamine before?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, at festivals like this, you just don’t know where it’s coming from. It’s everywhere, but it’s so hard to know what exactly you’re getting. Those pills could have been cut with anything.”

I smile weakly. “Are you telling me off?”

“Not really. I’m just letting you know.”

“Cut with what, exactly?”

“Anything.” He reiterates. “I’m talking talcum powder to heroin and everything in between.”

“Ouch.”

He folds his arms and leans against a table. “Do you want to get in touch with a parent or guardian?”

“Is that mandatory?”

“It’s not, but you might find the best thing for you to do now is to get home and rest. You might like to let a parent know what’s happened today.”

I laugh, the kind of hollow, death-rattle of a laugh that could have come from a sick, elderly man. “Tempting, but no thanks. I think I’ll stay.”

Neil’s mouth flattens into a line, and he gives me a nod. “Well, I’ll just advise you to take it easy, right? And if you feel off at any point, please come straight back here. We’re open all night.”

“But in your medical opinion, I’m fine, right?”

“Yes, I think you’re fine.”

“Oh, good.” I sit up in the trolley and plant shaky, stockinged feet on the floor. “Because there are a few more bands I really wanted to see.”

“I understand.” He says, though he looks as though he doesn’t. “But listen.”

I look up. 

“Be wise, Jude.”

I laugh and lace up my vomit-splattered shoes. “Neil, I’m always wise.”

Beginning // Prev // Next

[politemenacephd]

Arachnophilia: (Part Nineteen)

Drider!Miguel O'Hara x Reader (+18)

Chapter Masterlist 🕷️

Content: Plot time! Some fluffy conversation, Action, Some spider peril, aphrodisiac influence.

Word count: 4100 Notes: Ok so I've had extra time off w being ill to re-cooperate and I've actually got chapters 20 and 21 done so hopefully those will be up sooner! Thanks for waiting <3

‘You ready?’

You were milling about the HQ entrance with Mig at your side, preparing for your first mission together. You’d got into your hazmat suit just fine but Mig was struggling with his. They usually came with attached leg parts and he didn’t exactly have legs to fit into one, so his had been hastily made to order.

‘Argh—I hate this, clothing, thing—how did I ever wear this every day?’

You snorted at Mig’s quiet grumbles as you helped pull the thick plastic material over his stocky belly.

‘I’ve brought up the possibility of making an exception for you, with the- clothing, thing, but they’re being weird about it’ you mumbled.

‘I don’t- want you to go through any trouble for me’ Mig said. His voice kept catching as he squirmed. You noted how tight his suit was compared to yours, how it clung to his enormous shoulders like latex. Clearly whoever had made it hadn’t paid close enough attention to how big Mig was.

‘What was it you used to say to me? Oh no, arañita, I like doing things for you—that’s me. That’s also me. I like doing things for you, it’s why I am—’ you paused to give his suit one final tug. ‘In a relationship with you!’

Mig totally ignored that his suit was on, instead doing a little wiggle with his abdomen to the word ‘relationship’. Hearing it made him so happy.

‘Mm. Yes, well- okay.’ He bent down and reached out his hand, baying you to give him yours. You did, and he gingerly kissed your fingers before squeezing them between his claws. ‘I suppose I don’t mind you doing a little for me. If it makes you happy.’

‘You’re so silly’ you chided gently. For just a moment, you got to stand and look up into his big red eyes without worrying about anything or anyone else around you. His eyes creased as he smiled.

‘Mi arañita’ he whispered.

 It was simple, short, sweet. To you, it was an affirmation. To him, it was a confession of love he just wasn’t strong enough to make overtly quite yet. You bumped foreheads, since the suits stopped you being able to kiss, before withdrawing from each other.

‘May I, make a confession to you, arañita?’

‘Yeah, of course. Go ahead.’

‘I… I am certainly, excited, to see a new universe again. I used to dream about this when I was human, and while I gave up on my dreams when I changed it has been… exhilarating, to feel like a scientist again. I just…’ Mig paused and gently rubbed his jaw. ‘I’m, nervous.’

‘About what?’

‘About… You’ he said, his voice dipping. ‘About, putting you in danger.’

‘Oh Miggy- I’ve been a spider a lot longer than you have!’ you insisted.

‘Yes. And on your first mission, you met me. Because you—got hurt’ he said bluntly. Your teasing smile turned to an awkward frown.

‘Oh… Ohh. Right. Yeah. Well… Look at it this way.’ You turned and gestured to yourself, lightly tapping your chest as you stared up at him. ‘I completed my first mission specifically because I had your help. So, now you’re here with me, it’ll be even better! And I promise, I won’t get headstrong and try to go around you. I will accept your help.’

Mig still looked perturbed but he seemed comforted at the memory of helping you. ‘Yes… Yes, you are, correct.’

‘As always.’

‘Mm. Very humorous. Regardless, you are right. I helped you then, and, I can help now. I appreciate you understanding my concern, arañita. I also, as a show of good faith, will not stand in the way of you doing this mission. I trust you.’

You beamed up at him, and he beamed back.

‘I’m just rather surprised we got put on it at all. I was quite prepared for my, other half to get in the way’ Mig mused as he shook himself off. Immediately your face fell.

‘Ah... yeah. Me too. Me too’ you said quietly.

You’d been surprised Miguel had even okayed the idea of you both going out. He’d been so weird about Mig joining at all, and then out of nowhere he was giving you both a mission right after Mig passed? When you joined it took months to get any mission at all. Deep down, this whole thing had you a little on edge.

You were trying to keep your feelings to yourself, though, since you didn’t want to upset or worry Mig. He was settling in so well and you’d hate to cause him discomfort for no reason. You liked seeing him happy. You liked seeing him thrive.

‘Mi arañita?’

You blinked and glanced upward, only to find Mig staring at you. You must have gotten lost in your thoughts.

‘Ah- hey, what’s up now pretty boy?’ you asked, forcing a smile. His lips didn’t return the same softness. Instead, his face remained serious.

‘You’re worried. Yes? About my counterpart, and how quickly this mission was given to us. You’re worried that he has some ulterior motive. You’re worried he might be, setting us up, rather than stepping back.’

You sighed. God damn it. While you appreciated how in-tune you were, it also made hiding anything a little awkward. ‘Yeah. Yeah, I—was.’

‘I... Yes. I, feel the same, though I do want to believe he’s actually gotten better’ Mig murmured sadly.

‘I’d like to believe it, but I’m also not stupid’ you snorted. The two of you briefly went quiet as a gaggle of spiders webbed past you down the lobby, before slowly drifting closer again.

‘We- are, very similar, you know’ Mig explained. ‘I told you, once, how our paths only diverged in life when we changed. He became, him, and I became… this. But before that we were… so, so similar. Almost identical.’

‘That change was a long time ago, though, right? Like, so long that you forgot what clothes feel like.'

Mig chuckled at your light teasing, but his brows remained tightly knotted. ‘Mm. Yes. But, it doesn’t change that we are, in many ways, the same person. He used that very fact to convince me that I’m a monster, to convince me to hide.’

You pursed your lips at the reminder.

‘So… If I don’t believe he can change, then, it… means he was right about me, too' he said. His voice was deeply sombre. 

‘Mig, that isn’t—I mean that isn’t entirely fair’ you said with an unsure shrug. ‘Like… Look, Miguel is a different person to you. I can see the argument that you were given the same, basic components at the start, right? But you're so different now. He's a.... dick, and you're... you! You're YOU! My Mig! The, most, perfect thing!' 

Mig chuckled again, looking almost shy at your praise. ‘Just- humour me, please. It is for my own benefit, not just for his. I have to believe I am not doomed to be a bad person, and, I want to believe he isn’t either’ Mig insisted.

You weren’t convinced, sadly, but you did relent. You held up your hands and smiled as you slapped them down on his furry abdomen. ‘Okay. I mean I’d like for him to get better too, believe me, God it would save me SO much hassle!’

Mig purred, and at last a smile broke out onto his face. His cheeks lifted as he chuckled. ‘Yes. Me too. He—’

‘You ready to go?!’

You and Mig turned in unison as Jess called from the other side of the lobby. She was waving one arm over her head with the other cupped her mouth to make the sound carry. You could see that she was standing beside an open portal. 

‘Shit… alright, time to go’ you said. You straightened out your suit and straightened his too, a motion he tried to return until you shooed him off.

‘No, no—I don’t need petting down, shh—I love you too. Right. You ready, Mig?’

He fixed his posture and nervously raised his claws. ‘Ah… yes. Yes. I am- ready to do, heroic activities. Yes’ he blurted in a fully monotone voice.

You buried your face in your palm. ‘Oh my god I love you so much you’re such a god damn dork—OKAY, lets go!’  

You tried to strike a pose like you were trained to do but almost immediately tripped, so instead you went straight into climbing Mig’s back so he could take the lead. It was easy to look majestic while riding your enormous spider partner.

You clung tight to his fur as he scurried forward, and dragged you both through the open portal into this new and unknown world.

…

On the other side you thankfully landed safely, with Miguel angling his paws to slow the impact. As you eyes adjusted you realized quickly that you were on the top of some enormous building, and so you hopped down from Mig’s back to see the view.

This world was strange, far stranger than either Miguel’s or Mig’s or your's. Before you was the full, shining vista of New York, but this one had been entirely drowned in enormous neon plants. You could see flower heads in the distance that looks like normal flower heads up close, implying that they must be the size of a house in their own right, blooming and fluttering on the side of a high rise building that'd broken in half and was now leaning on another. 

The sky above was also strange; it was red, darker on top and lighter as it drifted down towards the horizon, ending in a dull and foreboding pink beyond what the eye could see.

There was no sound. No cars, no people. Just the rustling of leaves in the wind.

You breathed in through your suit mask and turned to Mig. He was fixated on the red sky, his hand held out in front of his face.

‘You okay?’ you called up.

Mig nodded. ‘Yes… You- do you see these, particles, too?’ he asked. You followed his eyes and squinted at the air in front of your face. He was right. There were tiny, pink dots floating in the air, like dust particles, just barely viewable. You waved your hand and watched them bounce and dance as your fingers disrupted them.

‘Huh. Oh, weird. Yeah they um- they mentioned the pollen, it has... Like an overwhelming effect on anything with hormones. Aphrodisiac. Makes you lose it. It's why this worlds deserted now.’

‘Yes. I- believe we should leave here as soon as possible’ Mig said slowly. You didn’t argue.

You turned and leapt back up onto his back, digging your hands into his fur. You held on tight as he turned and descended the building via the stairway.

On a monitor in a dark and distant room, Miguel watched the blurry little figure of you and Mig strolled through the abandoned city. His eyes narrowed. ‘Go on’ he said, almost purring. ‘Go ahead. Fail, and then let me watch you get dragged out by your necks in a pathetic heap.’

The building was entirely empty, which made the sounds you heard all the more unnerving. You realized pretty quickly that the oversized plants filling the area would occasionally move, slithering across cracked windows and floors like great, fleshy, neon green snakes. The floors would creak like footsteps when no one was there, and occasionally you’d hear a low groaning as if the building itself was alive.

Mig began to walk slower so he could step over the vines. They hadn’t done anything violent, but, he’d rather be safe.

As you emerged out into the city from the ground the size of it became far more imposing. Seeing those giant flower buds from the top made them seem almost normal, but from the floor the shadow of that gaping botanical maw filling the sky made you feel utterly miniscule.

You drew your watch to your mouth and whispered into it. ‘Lyla- Lyla, have you got a hold on the guy who escaped?’

‘Yeeeppp.’

The little AI flashed up beside your head as Mig cautiously began to walk down the empty street. ‘You hopped in close. He’s been still for a while.’

‘Do you think he’s hurt?' 

‘Nah, I mean- maybe. But I doubt it’ Lyla said with a yawn.

‘Why do you doubt it?’ Mig asked. She flickered over to glance him up and down as he walked.

‘My god you’re big, it always surprises me- uhhh I said I DOUBT it because he was wearing his suit when he jumped in which should keep him safe from the pollen.’

‘Okay. What are we dealing with then? A vulture, a symbiote, a prowler?’

‘Prowler. He’ll be wearing his suit but I think we removed his weapons when we brought him in, so, should be easy.’

‘Huh… I wonder if Miguel gave us an easy one deliberately’ you pondered to yourself. It seemed unlikely, but, maybe it was intentional? Maybe he was changing. ‘Okay, uh- thanks Lyla, we’ll call if we need anything else.’

You shut your watch and gently tapped for Mig’s attention. You didn’t speak, but you silently gestured for where he needed to go. He nodded and crept towards the building Lyla had pointed at.

As you approached the bottom floor it was empty, with broken windows allowing easy access to the inner rooms. It was unnervingly dark inside. The sun was too high overheard to reach inside, leaving nothing but a faint red glow broaching the edge of the dirty, vines covered concrete before it descended into shadow.

You tapped your watch to create a small beam of light. You carefully scanned the room from side to side, your eyes squinting to see through the gloom.

It was quiet. Too quiet. You could hear water dripping somewhere but couldn’t find the source. As Mig went to enter the dark he rustled his abdomen, signalling for you to jump. You hopped to the floor and in unison you both ducked. Together, you began to do a wide circle of the space.

‘Hello?’ you called, your voice echoing. You faintly saw Mig rustle with discomfort at you speaking, so you gestured for him to continue instead.

‘Sir! We’re from the society’ Mig cried. ‘I know that you were- reluctant, to come with us, but you were at far more risk here.’

You were about halfway in now. You were descending into the thick of the vines.

‘This universe is abandoned. There is no way home without us. If you come quietly, we can—’

Midway through speaking the vines were suddenly cut right above your head, and in a flurry of chaotic movement and sound you were thrown across the room.

‘SHIT—HEY!’

The unseen opposition dived forward and pinned your newly downed body to the floor, choking it out against one of the vines. You squirmed and kicked but you’d been taken off guard too fast.

‘GIVE ME THE WATCH!’

A deep voice echoed from behind the attackers mask. Shit, you thought, this must be the guy.

‘GIVE ME THE—’

Just as he’d tackled you the Prowler variant was tackled by Mig. In a blur of red and black fur your partner barrelled across the room and hooked the smaller man by the nape, and with nothing more than the strength of his neck he threw him up into the ceiling and then back down to the floor.

A low moan filled the air as you scrambled to stand.

‘Oh…. Fuck.’ You coughed and spluttered as Mig prowled towards the downed man. His venom was glowing where it’d leaked down his jaw, its viscosity appearing neon green in the dark. He had his claws raised.

Back in Nueva, Miguel continued to watch. He had his arms folded, his body stiff and unmoving, his eyes unblinking.

He was waiting for it.

‘Fuck… urgh, okay, um—you got the light cage, babe?’ you asked. You were wheezing hard from being pinned, and while Mig should have focused on containing the man on the floor he couldn’t help but be drawn to you.

‘Mi arañita? Are you okay?’

As Mig turned you raised your hand. You were about to say yes, you were fine. You were about to comfort him and remind him of what you had to do.

You didn’t get the chance, though.

The Prowler collected himself too quickly, and in a blind panic he leapt up and released the claws on his suit. He dove at Mig, the most obvious threat, hoping to get in a stab from behind, but luckily his claws weren’t strong enough to pierce.

He latched onto Mig’s back and he instantly began rustling and bucking, his size allowing him to quickly detach the attacker. You hastily threw a web out to pin him down to the floor again.

‘SHIT- Shit, baby, did he get you?! Did he—’

You froze. Mig had turned in an attempt to feel the back of his suit, and now he was facing the opposite direction to you. He was showing you his back. He was showing you, clear as day, the enormous cut marks in the plastic hide.

Slowly, Mig stopped. His arms fell to his sides, and he rolled his head to stare at you over his shoulder. His eyes were glowing the most unnatural pink.

‘Mig?’ you stammered.

He grunted, hard, and suddenly seemed to go down. His legs began to shake as his hands flew to his head. ‘MM—MM—’

You felt your whole body go cold. You knew what the air in this universe did. You quickly rushed to try and grapple him, hoping to either pin him with your webs or patch up the suit, anything your frazzled mind could think of, but Mig was quickly losing control.

‘MIG! Mig, hey! Stay down—let me help—’

‘AH—’ His body rustled violently as he panted. It burned. It was the most unbearable heat he’d ever felt, seeping through his veins like literal fire. His started drooling venom into the inside of the suit, coating the seethrough plastic on the front. ‘RRH—’

On the other side of the multi-universe, Miguel snorted. He didn’t smile, nor did he show any kind of outward joy. He just snorted.

What a shame that Lyla hadn’t been told about that prowler’s suit still had its claws intact when it was taken in. Claws that, while not deadly, were capable of still ripping an important piece of fabric. A suit, perhaps.  

Now you’d let the man escape into a dangerous universe. You’d have to crawl back with your out of control boyfriend. He went to turn when a cry drew his attention back to the screen.

Mig, in his panic, had pushed you back across the room.

‘DON’T—DON’T COME NEAR ME’ he cried, ‘I CAN’T- HURT YOU—ARGH!’

Miguel frowned.

You were carefully shifting yourself up from the debris. You weren’t hurt, it hadn’t been a hard push, but just like the Prowler he hadn’t accounted for his own claws. They were painfully extended, viciously sharp on every end, and in just lightly pushing you with the last of his strength he’d ripped three big holes in your own suit.

You felt your heart thundering.

In a whimpering panic you tried to block the holes with your hand but it was too late. All too soon you felt the pollen in your nose, your brain, your blood, your body heating into overdrive. You were doubled over as if in physical pain as the urge curdled inside you.

‘MM—’

Miguel stared at the screen, his eye twitching just a little. No, wait, he’d planned for one person to be able to call for back up. He’d planned this out perfectly, hadn’t he? Why was this happening?

‘Argh… Mig…’

You mewled pathetically as you crawled across the floor. You were throbbing everywhere, lightheaded from the blood flowing where it wasn’t supposed to, your insides clenching and pulsing and squeezing around nothing to a point that left you breathless.

Mig was no better. He was digging his claws directly into the concrete in an attempt to stay sane, to stay alert, but it wasn’t working. He drooled pools of spit and venom onto the floor as he ripped his suit aside completely. He had to bite. He had to pin. He had to unload. He could think of nothing rational in that moment. ‘AH—AH---’

In the panic your target had also cut himself free from the web. Still suited, still sober, he watched you writhe with narrowed eyes. He approached, curious, and delivered one kick to your exposed gut. You went down hard but didn’t have the strength to get back up off the floor.

‘YOU-- ARGH!’

Mig dove at the man and nearly clawed him to pieces, but the impact of the sweet, thick, dizzying scent was making it hard to see or focus. He swung blindly, teeth snapping, as Prowler backed away.

On the floor you whimpered, unable to move an inch from the multi-faceted pain. 

‘Wait, wait, no—’  

As he watched Miguel felt his confidence beginning to slip. You’d call for backup, right? You would. Yo had to. 

He thought about rushing in, but, if he did that, you’d know he’d been watching. Wouldn’t that look suspicious? Plus, it would ruin his plan.

His plan… What, exactly, was that plan anyway, some little niggling part of his brain asked?

‘FUCK!’

Your cry drew Miguel back to the screen.

You were writhing on the floor as you struggled to breathe. You and Mig couldn’t even reach each other. He was now consumed by the primal, lustful urge to protect his mate, to fight an opponent, which was keeping him in the thralls of trying to spear your assailant on his claws.

No one had time to pull either of you out, and that Prowler was still hellbent on killing you both to protect himself.

‘No, no, no—’

The blurry image of your body on the floor began to distort. Miguel slammed the monitor but it just continued to fade.

He began to pant hard. He hadn’t wanted this. Not this. He just wanted Mig to fail his first mission, he never wanted anyone to get hurt. He’d just wanted an excuse to remove him. He didn’t want this. He didn’t. He’d planned it perfectly. This was supposed to work. It HAD to work. He was doing the right thing. He was smart, he was capable, he was rational—

Right?

The more he thought about it, the more his stomach turned. Wait, but, he’d released that symbiote, hadn’t he? He’d jumped in the way, yes, but it could have caused Mig real harm. It could have caused you real harm.

‘Oh no’ he whispered. ‘No, no, no…’

One final, horrible thought filled his head: What was wrong with him?

‘Every day I have to fight to be good.’

His words to Peter rang in his head as he paced back and forth. How had he forgotten that? The simple reason, that he really hated his variant? Because he was broken. They were both broken. Both of them.

He swung back to the screen. He had to go, right? He had to go, he had to go and extract you and Mig.

All that anger, that resentment that he’d made righteous, it was fighting the one part of him that he clung to. The part that wanted to save you, no matter the cost. The part that was still good.

He told himself that this self-sacrificial nature, that was him. The REAL him. That was who he was beneath the dirt and the dust and the bitterness. But, no. As he stared at you clutching the floor, struggling to breathe, he knew it wasn’t.

It was all him.

‘Shit.’

Without wasting a second, without even grabbing a suit, Miguel pulled up a portal to that universe and dove in headfirst.

The pollen hit him like a physical punch to the gut. He felt it coiling around every hormone in his touch-starved body, pushing his brain into override. As he hit the road right before the store you were in he had to curl in on himself just to regain the ability to breath.

‘MM—Argh, fuck—come on—you’ve dealt with this before!’ he seethed.

With fangs dripping he clawed his way into the building. To his utmost relief he saw you almost instantly, still curled up on the floor.

‘COME ON!’ he barked. Miguel grabbed you under the arm and began to drag, though it was slow progress. He kept having to pause and bite his own hands in order to temper the unnatural urges filling his brain.

You were utterly useless at this point. Your body was limp in his grip, moaning and whimpering and shaking. ‘Mig.... My Mig—’

‘He’s… fuck—MIGUEL!’ He turned and screamed into the dark as the plants whipped and writhed.

Mig burst through the wall with a violent crack, his paws skidding on the ground. The person you’d been chasing was frantically scrambling to avoid his open seething maw and swinging claws, like a rabbit fleeing a wolf. With the last of his strength Miguel threw a light cage at the panicking Prowler before depoying a web at Mig’s legs, helping to at least stun him into stopping.

‘Ah… Okay, HERE! OVERE HERE! EXTRACTION!’ Miguel cried.

Mig jerked his head up so fast it snapped. He saw him holding your limp body and immediately his eyes dilated into slits. He hissed, spraying venom across the tiles.

‘I’M GETTING YOU OUT OF HERE!’

Miguel pulled up a portal and threw you into it before returning to grab the downed Prowler. He used it like a toy, lurning Mig up. The enormous man broke the webs around his legs with terrifying ease, and once back on his spider legs he stormed towards him.

Miguel led him straight through the portal at his back.

With a soft, otherworldly thwap, the portal disappeared. The world of plants was plunged into silence once more, and whatever chaos ensued, would ensue in Miguel’s office, back where it had all started.

Link to next part

[rogerswifesblog]

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO @jamneuromain here’s a little gift for you. I hope you’ll enjoy the first one shot of the little kinda series. It was supposed to be a one shot but I didn’t finish it on time so…now it’ll be a two/three chapter series! I hope you’re enjoying your birthday. I wish you the best. I won’t specify what exactly because everything what happens should be the best! Meet the best people, make the best memories and the best experiences!!!!

Between the bookshelves

My Masterlist

A/N: it’s not beta read:) there’ll be mistakes, be prepared:)

Pairing: Mob Ari Levinson x bookshop/café owner reader

Series Summary: You’re a small-town-girl living in a big city, owning her own (somewhat successful) book- and coffee-shop, a dream you had been following for years. Some of the books are little works of your own, but nobody really knew it and nobody really read them, being just small stories between bestselling novels.

And yet there was a specific client that couldn’t put down your books.

The Saturday mornings were mostly quiet and got a bit more busy in the noon, where people start waking up or curing their hangovers-for some reason you had noticed everyone liked doing it in your little coffee shop. The quiet atmosphere, smell of coffee, cake and books was calming for the people. It was just good for their headaches. Just some time to themselves. Just some…peace. That’s how you could describe your shop. Peaceful.

Most of the time they would buy a coffee, maybe a sandwich or something sweet and would sit for a while, sometimes with their headphones on, sometimes with their eyes closed or other times watching the people walk past the windows.

You enjoyed watching people.

The older people that came by because your place had an older aesthetic, the walls made from old brick stone, the shelves and tables dark wood, the couches, loveseats, armchairs and chairs all being rather vintage than modern. Always ordering the apple pie from your grandma’s recipe. Could they taste like it was an old recipe? Did it taste differently from the other pies?

You also liked watching the business people rolling their eyes during calls or while typing something on their laptops. It was really entertaining. You also always gave them a free muffin if they spilled their coffee on some (probably important) documents.

So to say, everyone liked coming here, for whatever reasons. Maybe to drink your coffee, maybe to have some peace or forget what was happening in their busy lives, instead wanting to escape in one of the books. In your cafe was everything possible, they could just drink their coffee and enjoy some snacks or disappear in a fantasy world with witches, mermaids and vampires or into a simple romance or thriller. Whatever they wanted.

And then there was him.

He came here to see you smile. To hear your voice. To get to know you.

But until now he never actually spoke to you. Not unless it was to tell you his order.

And that’s it.

Ari was the head of the mob and yet he got cold feet when it came to talking to a pretty girl.

Usually he had no problems with talking to women, even targets or other dealers but you ... .it's like he was his teenage self again (or even worse, because he actually wasn’t that nervous back then.)

He didn’t want to mess it up too soon, since you seemed like a very nice person and probably wouldn’t approve of his work. So he wanted to show you his best side-even though he didn’t know how long he’d be able to hide his true identity.

And more important, how long he’d manage to keep you safe. That was his biggest concern. That’s also why he didn’t know if he should approach you.

For now it was enough to sit in your café and watch you from afar. Like a total creep.

Ari sighed, hitting his forehead on the table with a quiet thud. What the hell was he doing? He was making a total fool of himself? He’d now go to the counter and ask for your number.

Determined he stood up and did as planned. “Hi, may I ask for-“ “Y/N, the muffins are ready!”, shouted someone from what he assumed was the kitchen. You smiled apologetically. “Give me a minute”, with that you disappeared for a moment, coming back with a plate filled with muffins.

A bright smile crept once again onto your lips when you saw the beautiful stranger still waiting at the counter. He was one of your regulars and yet you never catched his name. Nor anything else beside his usual order. “Another cappuccino?”, you saw him opening his mouth, before nodding. “Yeah, another cappuccino, thank you”, he smiled, brushing his hair behind his ear before taking out his card.

He definitely noticed the muffin decorated with heart sprinkles to his coffee, that he hadn’t ordered. Also, he got your name. This was more than he had actually expected.

And this muffin definitely meant something, right?

You watched him for a second from behind the counter, before needing to go clean up a table. You hoped he had seen the number written on the handkerchief.

He didn’t. He threw it away.

But you didn’t know that. You imagined he threw it away on purpose. Maybe he felt awkward? Or even uncomfortable? God, you have messed up. What if he’d never come back again?

Sighing you looked out of the window imagining the beautiful man talking to you about something different than just his usual order.

Two weeks. Two whole weeks Ari couldn’t go to your café and it made him crazy. Even though he didn’t know you, he missed your sweet smile. The słuchały oversized pink hoodie you liked wearing, especially when it was a bit colder, how you always wore your hair in a bun or ponytail, showing off your beautiful rosy cheeks. The way your eyes lightened up when you talked to him-he didn’t know if it was something that happened with every customer, but he liked imagining this sparkle was just for him.

Maybe it was.

Maybe it wasn’t.

But he hoped it was.

When the quiet bell sounded as he entered the café you lifted your head, having been caught up in messaging someone while there was some quiet time in the shop. There were only a few customers busy with eating and drinking, some others reading some books.

He walked up to the counter, opening his mouth to greet you, but his voice broke when he saw your slightly rosy cheeks, the soft smile on your lips. “Hello, the usual?”, you smiled at him, making him even more speechless so he just nodded.

For fucks sake what was happening to him. How the hell could you make him speechless with just a smile even though he was able to talk to twenty men with guns in hands and files longer than some restaurant menus.

Sighing, he walked to his usual table, hanging off his jacket over the chair before walking to the shelves, looking for a new book.

He found one about a complicated love story between a college student and her professor, from what he could read in the summary-but it wasn’t the plot that surprised him.

It was your picture.

You were the author.

Ari immediately took it and walked with it over to his table where he immediately started reading. He wasn’t really into romance stuff, but it was your book. It was a piece of you, in a way, and he wanted to know something about you. About the relationship you seek, the gestures that made your breath hitch and what made your heart flutter.

So he started reading.

Within a few pages he was already pulled into the story, completely losing himself in the story, interested in the problematic relationship the main characters had. Just when the main character was supposed to meet with her professor you walked up to his table with a coffee and muffin that he hadn’t ordered.

When he looked up at you and slightly closed the book you could see he was reading your book. Your cheeks turned a dark red color. Usually it wouldn’t matter who read your book but him-not him. He wasn’t supposed to know about the things you liked, about your desires and-about your sexual preferences! Jesus. Maybe he hadn’t read who the author was?

At this point you’d rather just go to bed and never leave it again. Like, really, never.

Sighing you walked back behind the counter, not noticing the lingering gaze on you.

Three hours later, Ari was still busy with the book. At this point the story was so addictive he couldn’t put it down. The main character was a total sweetheart and the professor-god what a dick he was. Such a liar. Even though he had already messed up once, he didn’t tell his lover he still had a wife. Okay, yes, they were divorcing soon but still-he should’ve told his girlfriend about it. It’s a detail you should mention. Preferably from the beginning and not letting the girlfriend find out because the wife walked into his apartment?? Jesus!

He scoffed at the book and wanted to turn the page when his phone rang. “Levinson”, he listened to his friend about having found out who had stolen guns and other weapons from him. Ari could tell his frown deepened with every second, the vein on his forehead already pulsing from anger. Fury, even. He tried to be a good man. Really. Holding back all the time-but having one of his men betray him…this was too much. It was-

“Do you want a refill?” Your sweet voice interrupted his racing thoughts, his nerves immediately calming down, the frown disappearing. Instead a smile reappeared on his lips. “I can’t. I have to go and get some …business stuff done”, he said, already standing up. It was the first time you two were so close to each other.

His Perfume smelled overpowering, but in a surprisingly good way. It made you crave this man even more than before. The smell was just heavenly. You couldn’t stop yourself from breathing it in deeply, nearly closing your eyes to enjoy it for a bit longer but instead you looked into Ari’s bright eyes. He was taller than you, bigger than you. He towered over you, but you didn’t feel threatened. You felt safe.

Fuck. Your crush was turning into something much worse.

Little did you know that’s exactly what Ari thought too.

It’s not really unusual for him being taller or bigger than someone, but with you it’s like something inside him awoke. The need to keep you close. Keep you safe. He knew how dangerous the world could be, especially for a woman like you. But he could take care of you.

He’d love to wrap his arms around you, bury his nose against your neck and inhale your sweet smell, feel your soft skin…

He had it bad. So, so bad.

A last smile crept onto his lips before he grabbed his jacket and walked over to the door, looking once again back at you meeting your gaze. You blushed at that, making Ari’s heart pound.

He’ll ask for your number. Next time when he’ll be here.

But he didn’t. The next time, two days later, he just drank his coffee and read the book. Ari was Never this curious about a book but yours was just…incredible. The love story, the whole plot. Unbelievable. And also…thinking you had such a…interesting view of sex made him curious if you’d do the things in real life, too.

Were you into the same things as the main character? Spanking? Dom and sub dynamics in real life? Being called a good girl? Fuck, he really tried not to think about these things at night. (He failed sometimes.)

“Would you like some apple pie?”, you sweet voice made him lift his head. “Oh, sure, how much-“ “no, no, that’s on the house…it’s a gift. From me.” Your gentle tone made his heart throb, while he nodded. “Thank you.”

While he watched you walk away he wasn’t sure what to do next. You were such a kind and sweet person. And he was…he wasn’t good. Far from that, actually. You two couldn’t be more different. While you were a gentle soul that gave away the food that was left after a shift to the homeless, he was capable of torturing people without blinking an eye. He was cruel, cold and furious.

He wasn’t good enough for you. He knew. And he knew he’d only make your life miserable and dangerous. Maybe he already did with spending so much time at your café. Your worlds were too far from each other for you to date. Or even be friends.

“Here you go-enjoy”, once again did your voice pull him out of his thoughts-and a gentle touch on his shoulder. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

Fuck. It just slipped. From all the reading-he forgot. It was unbelievable how your whole being influenced his behavior, how you were able to make him forget about his whole being.

Just when he wanted to apologise a shy but bright smile formed on your lips, a slight blush slowly creeping over your cheeks. Without saying anything else you squeezed his shoulder for a second before stepping away from his table, being called over by an older couple.

Even though he really wanted to read more, his phone was getting blow up with messages about the recent thefts. They knew who caused them but not where he was hiding. The fact that it was one of his men still angried him, even more because nobody could find him.

But he needed the stolen things back. ASAP. Otherwise even he could get in trouble-which didn’t happen often.

He looked at the pie, smiling as he noticed the little heart you had drawn with whipped cream. The thought of not being able to have you made his heart crumble a little.

Why couldn’t he be just a simple man with a simple life?

Because he liked the luxurious life he had.

But maybe he could try the simple way of living for once?

Oh who was he lying to, everyone he knew would say he’d never have a standard live. He liked having an expensive car, the newest phone, eating out especially in nice restaurants or nice vacations somewhere far away.

He was curious about what you liked. Maybe he could invite you to his favourite restaurant? Seeing you in a elegant long dress, your beautiful neck exposed…maybe covered in some little hickeys, marks ... ..or maybe a simple and decent day collar. Just a neck with a little ring…only the people involved would understand-and maybe some people would even compliment your necklace, not knowing what it meant.

Ari’s whole chest tingled with need.

But he didn’t want to destroy your life by pulling into the mess he was in.

Sighing he took a little bite from the pie, immediately closing his eyes in pleasure. It tasted incredible. Perfect even.

He hadn't had such a good pie in a long time.

Ari ate the pie within a few minutes, not having enough time to eat in peace since his phone was ringing all the time.

Once again when he left he could feel your lingering gaze on his back.

Next time. He’d talk to you next time.

You promised the same thing to yourself…and your best employee-well, best friend, because she couldn’t handle listening to your venting about Ari anymore.

This time he couldn’t come to your café for over two weeks, since he was after Alex, the thief. And he didn’t have much time to relax. Especially not in your café, also he didn’t want to come closer in case someone was following him-which he believed was possible seeing what was happening.

But he really missed you, even though you hadn’t had a real conversation yet. It’s just…your smile could brighten his mood, it didn’t matter how bad the day was.

When he finally visited your place again the first thing he noticed was how your frown disappeared and how you leaned over the counter slightly. “Hello! Long time no see”, you grinned at him.

Ari chuckled at your enthusiasm, immediately feeling how your presence cheered him up. “Yeah I had a lot of stuff going on…it’s complicated. I’m just glad I can finally drink a coffee here…sit, enjoy the atmosphere here…it’s probably the only place where I feel like I can forget about the whole mess with-…you know, life”, he mumbled, shaking his head slowly.

When he took out his wallet your hand touched his and you slowly pushed it away. “It’s fine, this one's on me…maybe we could…sit a bit together? Talk?”, you smiled gently, seeing how the gears in the man’s head started doing their job.

“Sounds very nice, yes. I’d love to sit and talk a bit…”, he didn’t sound entirely sure about it, but you believed him anyway. Maybe he really had a bad day. “Perfect, then you can go sit down and I’ll be with you in a minute.”

After he did what said you started preparing the coffees and a piece of brownie for each. He’d definitely like it. At least you hoped he would.

“I’m pretty sure we never really introduced-I’m Y/N, nice to meet you”, when you finally sat down Ari turned his phone around so the screen wouldn’t be visible. You really hoped he wasn’t hiding a wife or kid. Or both? Let’s not be paranoid…but still…

Ari smiled at you, pushing his phone even further away. It’s not like you’d grab it and read his messages? This guy was a bit suspicious…but you knew not to judge a book by its cover. “I’m Ari, it’s nice to meet you. I wanted to talk to you for a while now…I couldn’t never really get myself to do it”, he chuckled, making you unintentionally but your lip a bit.

Did it mean he liked you just as much as you liked him?

“I’m glad. I was curious if we’d ever say more to each other than your usual order”, your words made him chuckle again and he shook his head a bit. “Yeah that…I don’t really like changes and besides, your coffee is really good. When I find a place I like, I don’t like changing things.” Ari took a sip from his coffee to prove his point-and once again the coffee was as good as always.

He noticed how seemingly pleased you were with this simple compliment. Wasn’t it obvious how good everything here was? Especially the barista…which he wouldn’t say out loud, but he’d think about it.

“What will happen to them? Will they have a Happy End?” Ari lifted the book he had once again taken from the shelf. One of your first pieces you had tried to write and actually finish. But you were still slightly insecure sometimes-especially when the person reading was someone you’d rather like to impress.

You shrugged slowly, a teasing smirk creeping over your lip. “I guess you’ll have to come here often and finish it yourself. I won’t spoil the ending for you. What’s the fun in reading it then?” Ari shook his head amused.

“I rather like knowing what’s coming, you know? To prepare myself for it, the same in real life-especially my business. It sucks to know that you’re being lied to”, he had no idea why he was telling you this but it felt good. It’s like his heart was speaking for him, even though his brain was screaming at him to shut up and preferably leave you alone.

But he listened to his heart, for once. He wanted to listen to his heart this one time.

You placed your hand over his, squeezing gently. “I understand. It must be hard having someone close betray you…if I may ask, what did he do? And where do you two work?”, you asked. Curiosity was never your best trait, but to your defence ari was the one speaking about it first. You had the right to ask…right?

Ari stilled for a second, looking down at his phone, then his coffee, hands, back at his phone and finally back at you. “It’s office work, but I can’t tell you much more about it”, you could tell he was lying right to your face.

Did you care about it? Did you see the red flags and decided to ignore them?

Nobody ever said you always made the right choices.

“I understand. Still sucks being lied too by someone important”, you squeeze his hand again.

At least he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring. Maybe this weird gut feeling was from nervousness and not…something else. He seemed like a nice and charming guy.

On the other hand…

So did Ted Bundy.

You quickly shook those thoughts away…for now.

To your surprise you two talked for nearly two hours, before the café started to be flooded by customers and you had to go back to work. Ari left you his number, telling you to call him when you’d need any help…or just to talk.

Happily you enjoyed the rest of the shift, already thinking about texting Ari later in the evening.

Thank you for reading!

I Hope you liked it! Let me know! Support your content creators by reblogging and leaving feedback:)

Taglist: @magnificentsaladllama @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @lilsiz

[leoneliterary]

Oh gods, I love and adore the new update! My new grey horse Dust (bc it will leave them in the dust, is grey and unassuming at first glance, but also pure diamond) is already a favorite, even if my MC is slightly afraid of horses and not very good at riding. Aretas offering PRIVATE RIDING LESSONS and MC making not even one dirty joke to Merikh about it shows how serious the tension is, though. The cliffhanger is just mean, bc we don't get to sass big bad brother back. Not even a "you smell better, don't worry about me leaving you for him, wow he looks like a paler imitation of you".... I just imagined letting Desma loose on miserable big bro Labadon, but somehow that feels like bullying. ... Is that on purpose? He feels so arrogant and desperate to put down the bastard child, that it feels a little pitiful and insecure instead of evil, though I of course dislike and disdain him a normal and healthy amount, for his crime of a personality. But back to the important bits, Aretas is being smooth right back and I wasn't sure he'd have it in him. But so worth it, bc I already got a shovel talk from his mom! (a pretty mild one for now, thanks Teacher Alim) Aretas looking pained at Daddy Labadon's grand speech about his father's supposed greatness and aspirations and unsubtle attempt at baiting his king was greatly appreciated and the option that simply says "Blame Merikh" when asked why we couldn't ride? It was so .. tempting, I don't know how anyone can choose another. It's just such an impulse control defying little red button that all imp MCs just HAVE to press. And the reaction did not disappoint in the slightest! I laughed so hard! And then it got better, bc Merikh is just as clueless as you and my MC is learning that omg, he's actually just a grumpy little good boy. You just gotta adopt him. Sorry Sutek, sullen grumpy warrior slots are filling up really fast... I also loved cheering for Sefu and Sefu being so friggin POLITE and well behaved. I love when they show that they can be mature and competent at the same time as being total loving idiots. Desma feeling insecure was really hurting my kokoro, but then it got funny again when she asked "but are they REALLY brothers, how can we ever know?" Never change, best sister girl, my MC will steal horses with you and bury bodies. Their own horse, but probably other people's bodies. I do feel a tiny bit worried about Tamu being alone and trying to find the guild traitor preparing a take over without backup, though. Please let him be ok or at least let Gally have his back a little! This whole update had so much comedy potential with the right choices, it was a delight to read and totally worth staying up till after midnight! I love your writing style, it really hits me in all the best feels! Thank you for persevering, even through difficulties and I will honestly forever love your story! May all the cake, coffee and cookies be with you! As well as muses, time and motivation! I would offer a shoulder massage, but I can't reach through my screen anymore! All my love and adoration!

I always love your in-depth reviews, charcoal!! And thank you for such high praise!

Yeah, Merikh's big brother isn't the most well-adjusted, but whether he's just a pathetic weasel or a real threat, you can be the judge.

I wonder how many of y'all picked the 'blame Merikh' button. I had to give y'all the chance for some petty revenge, lol!

Judging by my asks, most of you chose the grey horse that you got to name.

Sefu really was on his best behavior, but good catch about Tamu. Wonder what he's up to while you're away. Desma is going through it, but she's being so mature and putting it aside to come on this hunting trip...

Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed it and had a laugh or two at some of the choices!

[utilitycaster]

Seeing your post about Orym reminded me of something that's been confusing me. You mentioned the gods' debate had a small influence on why Orym was getting so much push back in the fandom, and it brought to mind an observation I've had about FCG the past few episodes. The fandom seems to have put the weight of the gods' side solely on Orym, but in the actual show, FCG is the character getting the pushback on this topic from the other characters. Do you think your points from your post about Orym are the reason the fandom latched onto him over FCG as the gods' supposed number one fan in the group or if there might be some other reason?

I think it's in part because while FCG is more attached to the gods, it is less of a political stance, if that makes sense - it's much more an emotional/faith connection to the Changebringer. and it's also easier I think for people to not take FCG seriously. Especially if you're someone who is discrediting religion in general, FCG can be brushed off. Orym, on the other hand, is one of the more politically astute members of the party (arguably the most in fact; Chetney is smarter but his intelligence is more oriented towards investigation than knowledge - quicker on the draw but with less book learning). Orym is also not specifically beholden to the gods, and so it's harder to write this off as him lacking objectivity on this topic, which is why the argument has been focused more on him being too close to the case to be rational, even though that argument is deeply hypocritical if you granted Imogen any leniency about the role of her mother in the Vanguard, or the fact that she is of the elite class of Exaltants and would be granted power in the Vanguard well beyond where Orym ranks on the opposing side.

A viewpoint I saw in the fandom, especially surrounding Bor'Dor, was one that I think might be driving this. It's potentially compatible, actually, with Ashton's viewpoint, though it fails to recognzie that said viewpoint is both just as emotionally charged for Ashton as Orym's is for Orym: that Ludinus is undeniably evil and must be stopped, but perhaps the Vanguard might have points.

This, as far as we can tell, is, if not total horseshit, at least a pipe dream. Bor'Dor showed that even kindness, acceptance, and not being terribly in favor of the gods was completely insufficient deprogramming. It might be possible to render the group much more ineffective by taking out the heads (Ludinus, Otohan, and Liliana), but as Keyleth pointed out, the Vanguard has been running a massive network of cults and is fomenting unrest across Exandria in the service of the goals of their leadership in the meantime. And, as Keyleth also pointed out, there are likely ramifications of doing away with the gods she does not wish to even learn. I don't think that you can just be against the top of the Vanguard without at least being prepared to fight the rest of it. It's a very true to life quandary: while extremist political organizations and cults often prey upon vulnerable people, when those now-indoctrinated vulnerable people are trying to kill you, you can't stop and weigh the fact that they did not have every possible privilege because, well, they will kill you while you do this. Anyway, FCG is not having this thought process to my knowledge; he just trusts the Changebringer. Orym, however, does understand the above.

But also, again, look. We can talk about the characters' philosophies and politics and the role of the gods, and I enjoy doing that, but I think it's again worth pointing out that there are people within the fandom who, when you strip away the big words used as cover, really just think that the only "good" stance is to let Imogen and Laudna, as both individuals and a couple, run roughshod over the world unquestioned, or else you're horrible and evil. FCG's choice to go into the Grand Disc received similarly disproportionate hate for something that should have been an utter nonevent. I've seen people mad at Chetney, even though, truly, the most he has ever done is have his own thoughts and opinions that aren't revolving around Imogen or Laudna's lives. Orym is not even being unkind or in direct opposition to Imogen nor Laudna, but nor does he believe the sun shines from either of their asses. He is simply resolute and not going to be swayed by their viewpoints on this specific topic, and that alone is enough for some to condemn him.

[sucrows]

Hi hii can I request Souma, Kuro, and Keito with X, J, and E please?:)

OMGs a Souma request?? I was totally expecting for him to be entirely left behind. Like a unicorn or something. Thank you nonnie I hope to do him service.

(NSFW UNDER CUT)

[E] EXPERIENCE: 

Practically none before entering a relationship. He knows ~in theory~ what's supposed to happen. Does he know how to actually do things? Absolutely not. He’s probably seen porn before but considered it much too dirty a thing to properly watch at all. Thankfully, he is quite eager to learn and please. Getting in bed with him allows you to basically adjust him to all your preferences and he’ll be perfectly happy to follow your lead.  

[J] JACK OFF:

He’s shy and a bit ashamed of doing it. He didn’t do it for a long time, did it maybe a few times throughout high school, then got more into doing it after entering a relationship. He didn’t use to crave it often at all, only doing so when he really couldn’t get it to go down. As he’s become sexually active though, his libido has gone way up, and he can’t help himself every once in a while when he thinks about you. It’s an entirely private affair to him and is usually taken care of in the shower. He will also NOT bring it up to you so you’re going to have to do detective work if you want to figure out why he looks like a guilty dog. 

[X] X-RAY

Above average length (6-7 in or 15-18 cm) but on the thinner side of the spectrum. It’s quite pale around the base but also quite red towards the tip. He’s a shower and its proportions make it look longer than it is, though its actual size keeps it quite comfy for insertion. It sticks straight outwards when he gets hard. He’s also pretty sensitive and any type of dirty talk gets him immediately going so watch out if you want to rile him up in public. 

[E] EXPERIENCE:

He has experience! Not a massive amount, but he’s probably picked up a FWB before and if one of his friends were to proposition him then I mean, hey, why not? It’s not a crazy big taboo to him. He hasn’t thoroughly explored a lot though despite having experience. He is still quite curious about a lot of things such as kinks and toys he has yet to give a try. 

[J] JACK OFF:

With decent frequency, he’s not to embarrassed by it. He doesn’t often go out of his way to do it but sometimes the body wants what the body wants and he’s not against taking care of it. He’d rather initiate something with his partner than have to take care of it but sometimes you’re just not available so he’s another one who goes off to the shower. He tends to take it quite slowly when he does do it, enjoying long, slow, heavy pumps along the shaft over really fast ones.  

[X] X-RAY:

Longer (between 7-8 in or 18-20 cm), thicker, and a grower. Holding it is an experience because it’s so girthy, it takes a lot of preparation and lube if you want to take it. It also curves to a side a bit, but not too horribly- it's long enough that it doesn’t really impact things. The veins on it are pretty noticeable too so it’s quite the looker and a bit intimidating. Thankfully Kuro is a gentle soul, so you don’t have to worry too hard if you want to take him. 

[E] EXPERIENCE:

Mr repressed himself. He’s probably had a partner or two before, people who noticed his stress and propositioned him most likely. He’s not against casual sex to blow off steam but the world will end before he tries to make a move on someone for those purposes. He is quite knowledgeable on topics related to sex though! He’s done a lot of things to himself, researched a lot, and has at least an idea of how to pull off most things. 

[J] JACK OFF:

More often than average. Despite his composure, he’s quite the horny mess sometimes. He tries to play it off and play it down, but it’s a bit obvious sometimes. He’s also fairly shy about initiating, a bit too ashamed to just go for it. He tries to get it over with as quickly as possible, but he also likes to use toys on himself when he can. A very strange, repressed man with a complicated relationship towards his own boners. 

[X] X-RAY:

Roughly Average (5-6 in or 12-15 cm). Grower, It’s also pretty average in terms of girth. When hard, it does tend to extend straight out which is quite convenient for easy penetration. His head is noticeably sensitive too so between his length being pretty comfortably sized and that, he’s very fun to play with and very easy to give handjobs/blowjobs. 

[oomfvia]

⛧i'll fight for your life chapter 3: to feel the sun from both sides

pairing: astarion/gender-neutral half-elf paladin tav/reader (second person)

spoilers until patch 5 epilogue

sfw, friends to lovers :)

2,296 words (3 chapters, 6,097 total words)

you can also read this work on ao3

likes/comments/reblogs always appreciated!

❥ chapter 1 ❥ chapter 2

The journey was an unexpectedly short one, and it’s a relief, because no matter what Astarion said, you weren’t about to let his legs give out. Your feet land squarely on the floor when he sets you down gently, feeling slightly less woozy than you previously were.

Your eyes drift over to the large house laid out in front of you, and you immediately recognise its surroundings. The estate, in spite of how nice it looked, was rather modest compared to the other more luxurious residences that surrounded it. How long has it been since the last time you found yourself in the Upper City?

“Is this your home?” You ask, not bothering to hide your curiosity.

Astarion shrugs, fishing out a key from his pocket and inserting it through the gate’s lock. “I barely come back to it, but I suppose so.”

Funnily enough, Astarion had done the same thing you did, just in a nicer place. The Upper City, while still affected by the Absolutist crisis, was markedly more efficient in its restoration efforts. The road on the way was already paved again, and the street lamps were standing tall.

“Won’t the previous owner have anything to say about this?”

Noticing how the man wipes his shoes off on the velvety doormat, you take a few seconds to do so as well. It feels like an awful waste, especially considering your previous house in the Outer City lacked a doormat at all. He smiles at your perfectly logical question amusedly, as if it was a silly one to ask.

“Don’t worry, darling. They’re too dead to worry about real estate. Besides, this was my home in the first place.”

Your expression turns into a mixture of realisation and bewilderment. “...So you actually were a magistrate?”

“Aren’t I the very picture of one?”

You hold back a snicker, as well as the retort that immediately comes to mind. A corrupt one, maybe.

“You can use this room,” Astarion says, pushing open a wooden door. The room behind it is expansive, and already fitted with a desk, standing lamp, and wardrobe. Your eyes then linger on the large, plush bed in the middle. It takes all of the restraint in you to not dive into it face-first the moment you lay eyes on it.

“Am I imposing?” You ask, not daring to take a step into the room just yet.

Astarion dismisses your worry with a wave of his hand. “It’s one out of many. Using it would be a favour, my dear.”

That night, you have the most restful sleep you can remember. So restful, in fact, that you dream for the first time in months. A true, proper dream, with no strange visitors. You snore lightly into the cloudlike pillow, revisiting the recent memory of walking through the streets of the Upper City. Your head rests against Astarion’s shoulder, as the both of you share a moment of comfortable quiet. If you weren’t living with the man himself, you would find it a pity to have to wake up.

There’s a part of you that misses living in Rivington, where you could watch the city rebuild from the ground up, but you fall into the routine of living in the Upper City much faster than you had expected to. Your morning starts like any other, with all of the heavy curtains closed tightly. The grand chandelier above the dining table isn’t to your tastes, but it’s the only source of light you dare to allow in. The dining table itself is exceedingly big for just the two of you, but the food that you’ve prepared helps to make the place feel more familiar.

“Are you sure you don’t have to go off on any adventures?” You ask absentmindedly, cutting into a steamed carrot.

“I’d be a terrible host to leave you all alone,” Astarion answers. You glance upwards to peek at the issue of the Baldur’s Mouth gazette in his hands, noticing a picture of Gale posing with a student. It brings a smile to your face.

“Looks like the good wizard is doing well.”

In response, Astarion smiles with a shrug. “Speaking of, you haven’t opened that letter from Waterdeep.”

You wonder if Gale would be upset at you for not confessing your feelings yet. Probably. Subsequently, you imagine him gently chiding you for not taking advantage of the opportune situation, in a way that only a professor would.

After breakfast, you pace back to your room, picking up the envelope addressed to you. The letter is only one of many, yet Gale’s handwriting is as neat as ever. What’s more impressive than his penmanship, however, is the contents of the letter.

I need to prepare to leave. Now.

The two of you had roast chicken for dinner, accompanied with unoaked wine.

“What did he have to say?” Astarion asks, slicing into the dish in front of him with a sense of natural etiquette.

“Just another recipe he thought we’d like,” you lie through your teeth. “Do you happen to like stew?”

Astarion nods, refusing to talk with his mouth full. His eyes don’t leave the plate.

“Then…When I return from my short trip, that’ll be the first thing I make.“

You keep your hands still as you watch the vampire almost choke on a stalk of asparagus. His face contorts as he finally looks up at you, completely befuddled.

“Sorry to alarm you. It’s nothing special, really. I just need to return to the Outer City for a short while to pick up some things I left behind.”

Your explanation seems to convince Astarion, and he doesn’t press the matter any further. A twinge of guilt pulls at your heart for lying to him, but it’s coupled with a sense of anticipation for what is to come. That same night, you stuff potions, tools, and a set of battle-weathered armour into your pack. If you leave for the Underdark tonight, you’ll be able to return before sundown the next day.

The last two sentences of Gale’s letter from Waterdeep resound in your head as you leave through the now-familiar iron gates of your Upper City home: ‘It’s a wonderful feeling, to care for someone this deeply. Treasure it.’ Those words fill you with a resolve you never thought you’d ever gain.

It’s a dark, rainy night in the Upper City when you finally return.

You knock the door exactly seven times in quick succession — a sign that it’s you, and no one else. Almost immediately after, Astarion swings the door open, a towel in his other hand. Then, his smile quickly fades as his eyes land on you, your clothes clinging to your shoulders and the ends of your hair dripping wet. His sympathetic expression is more fitting for someone opening the door for an abandoned kitten, rather than a paladin.

“T-Thank the gods. I lost the key for the door on the way.”

Your cold body shivers under the unrelenting rain, recoiling slightly as you let out a sneeze. That blood-stained chestplate you were so fond of would most certainly rust. And yet, you beam at Astarion in a way that’s unmistakably joyous.

“I’m home.”

The corners of Astarion’s eyebrows raise, and he shakes his head as he takes a step backwards to let you in. The moment you step into the house, you leave the doormat drenched.

“...Welcome home.”

Astarion’s hands are gentle as he soaks up the rainwater from your hair, the towel getting increasingly heavier with each squeeze. The sound of the rain pattering against the windows, along with the warmth of the fireplace, calms your heart. You’re grateful that Astarion has to stand behind your place on the couch to dry you off. With how quickly your anxious heart was beating, you don’t want to imagine what your face might look like.

“Care to explain your tardiness, darling?” Astarion asks in that familiar tone. The one that subtly shows that he was worried.

“I — Achoo! Found something interesting along the way.”

You hear the sound of a tongue clicking from behind you. He already expects it to be one of those trinkets you were so fond of bringing back home. Good, he hasn't caught on.

“Pray tell, what could be so interesting that you come home in this state?”

You pull open the flap of the pack sitting beside you, holding a tied piece of cloth in your hands. Astarion releases your hair from the towel with an unimpressed hum of acknowledgment. You lift it up above your head, encouraging him to unwrap it. An enthusiastic grin stretches across your face as you turn your head to face him.

“A ring? Darling, are you insinuating something?” Astarion asks with a flirtatious smile. You snort out a laugh, partly in reaction to his words but also because you feel smug about your little scheme.

Astarion picks up the item, holding it against the light of the ceiling lamp. It’s plain as accessories go, its silver band only adorned with a single blood-red ruby. He looks at you quizzically, waiting for you to explain yourself. You simply smile, resting your jaw atop of your folded arms.

“Wear it tomorrow morning, and I’ll tell you all about it.”

Thankfully, all Astarion does is sigh with a roll of his eyes, walking off to his room. You retire to your own, your exhausted body collapsing onto the bed. Compared to the Underdark, the mattress feels like the celestial planes.

Dawn approaches, and you wake up to the distant sounds of birds chirping and the awakening city. Stretching your limbs, you resist the urge to return to sleep, prying yourself off of the bed.

You find Astarion leaning against the wall along the hallway, noting the Ring of the Sun-Walker's silver band firmly wrapped around the ring finger of his left hand. Without saying a word, you wrap your hand around his, leading him to the front door. 

Astarion’s expression can only be described as appalled when you tell him to just waltz right out of the door, exposing himself to the sunlight. It’s the only thing that has stopped him from accompanying you on your journeys to the stores for ingredients, and you were now telling him to take an unbelievable plunge.

“You’re not inspiring much faith, holding that bottle in your hand.”

You laugh, holding firmly onto the Potion of Superior Healing. “It’s just a safety precaution.”

Astarion sighs in resignation, letting his hand rest against the brass handle. He pulls the door open hesitantly with a sceptical look, the sounds of the city streaming in. He shuts his eyes, bracing himself. Unconsciously, you are too, your breath hitching in your throat as you watch him step forward.

And…nothing. No burning skin, and no excruciating pain. You release a soft sigh of relief, a satisfied smile forming on your face. Slowly, Astarion lifts his eyelids, too rattled to fully understand what was occurring to him. He turns backwards to face you, as if you’re a miracle worker sent from the gods.

“I told you to trust me, didn’t I?” You say, a hint of pride in your voice.

“Darling, I…I don’t know how I could ever repay you.”

You understand how much bravery it would take for Astarion to walk under the sunlight based on nothing but your word. It was time for you to exercise some courage in return.

“You already have, for letting me stay with you.”

Astarion rolls his eyes, stepping back indoors. “You didn’t have to do all this, just because I’m your landlord, for gods’—”

You bring yourself forward, pulling Astarion into a hug. One that’s slow and gentle, with enough allowance for him to break away if he wishes to. Instead, with shaky hands, he rests his hands on your back. Taking in a deep inhale, you wrap your arms loosely around Astarion’s neck. 

“I’m doing this because I love you. I always have.”

In the moment, all the lines you had planned the night before were lost on you. It’s nerve-wracking, and you’re kicking yourself internally for speaking so clumsily. But at the same time, you’re overwhelmed with a feeling of exhilaration. How freeing it is to let your love manifest itself into words, unabashedly and honestly.

When you gather the courage to raise your head, your eyes meet Astarion’s. His usual expression of ease was faltering, his eyes widening as if your feelings were some sort of grand revelation. For a moment, the pessimist in you takes over and you assume the worst. You imagine Astarion spitting at the ground, turning his heel — leaving you and your bleeding heart out to dry. Immediately afterwards, you imagine that you would still love him ardently if he does.

Slowly, however, the corners of Astarion’s lips lift up into a bewildered smile. Astarion’s hold around you strengthens. You smile giddily, burying your head in the space between his neck and shoulder. At this exact moment, you feel your affection for him multiply with each second that passes. It feels almost dreamlike, to share a home with the person you love. To have him accept your love wholeheartedly.

“I love you too,” Astarion responds softly, an apparent fondness to his tone.

You allow yourself to envision a future with him. One of freedom, adventure, and more than you had ever dared to imagine before. The both of you step outside of the manor hand-in-hand, your skin brushing against the gentle touch of daylight.

You watch fondly as Astarion basks under the morning light. Reflected in his eyes is the same sun you’ve known ever since you were born. At the same time, it feels as though you are seeing it for the first time all over again.

“To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.” ― David Viscott

[bee-saucee]

Basically Impossible | ShinKami Oneshot

pairing: ShinKami

cw: anxiety, descriptions of imagined death/dying, mild hurt/comfort

words: 912

summary: Kaminari is afraid to fly on a plane for the first time with his boyfriend Hitoshi who comforts Kaminari to subside his spiraling thoughts.

“How am I supposed to remember all of this safety stuff, Toshi?!” Denki groans.

He grabs the safety booklet on the back of the seat in front of him that the safety video mentioned.

“They just throw all of this information at you and expect you to memorize it all? I wasn’t even worried about not having oxygen before getting on this plane and now it's a big worry of mine. What if the mask doesn’t fit on my head? How quickly will the little mask things come down from the plane? And I’m gonna admit it, I don’t remember where the life jackets are!”

Shinsou finally looks over at his boyfriend. “Under the seat.”

“Where under the seat?”

“....under under?”

“That’s the kind of hesitation that will get you drowning in the salty sea. We have to be prepared and ready for something when it happens,” Denki gripes

“You’ll be fine,” Shinsou states and goes back to playing on his Switch.

Did he really just ‘you’ll be fine’ him? When he’s freaking out before they’ve even started their vacation?

“Toshi, the video very clearly said that I may not be fine.”

“Just don’t think about it.”

This whole trip was supposed to be a big step for them in their relationship and now Shinsou wasn’t even trying to console him. Denki crosses his arms and closes his eyes with a huff. Fine. He can be all aloof and absent too if that’s what they were doing.

“Denki, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just thinking about the totally not deadly flying tin can we’re in. Also thinking about how we could pull off some Titanic shit in the ocean if I can’t find the life jacket under the seat. You’re a better swimmer so you’re Jack in this scenario. We’d be fine because it’s summer and we could swap places. But I’m chilling.”

“Denki, please just relax. That is basically impossible.”

Except it was very possible or else they wouldn’t have that video. Shinsou was just not getting it. It was a possibility no matter how small. How could he just sit there and hope it would be okay? The safety briefing felt so quick and slapped together he knew he wouldn’t be prepared or know what to do if things went wrong. He was being the reasonable one here, right?

Unless he wasn’t. But he’s being aloof and totally unconcerned for his safety like everyone else apparently was on this plane.

“Yeah, sure. You’re right. I’m overreacting,” Denki says.

Then the plane begins to take off. He crosses his legs to really sell the I don’t care and I’m chilling attitude. But he totally wasn’t chilling now. They were taking off so there was no going back now. Would looking out the window help or make it worse? He glances over at the window and yup…definitely made it worse. People fly all the time like it’s nothing so he shouldn't be as scared as he is. But he is.

Denki squeezes his eyes tighter as if that will protect him from that small chance of danger. He knows he needs Hitoshi right now so why wasn’t he here in the way he needed him to be?

And then he feels Shinsou take his hand.

“I felt the life jacket. You want me to show you where it is?” Shinsou asks.

“Nah. It’s okay. I was just being silly.”

Shinsou takes the hand he was holding and guides it down to under the seat anyway.

“You feel it?”

Denki takes a deep breath. “Yeah.”

“You feel confident you’ll be able to get it?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.”

As they sit back up, Kaminari rests his head on Hitoshi’s shoulder.

“You know those stories about moms lifting up cars to save their babies?” Shinsou asks.

Kaminari peeks an eye open to look at his boyfriend and nods.

“If this plane goes down I know I’ll get that same kind of rush so I can rip the door off the plane. That way you can rest on it while I float in the water because there totally won’t be room for the both of us.”

“Mm, what are we gonna talk about to help the time pass? The ocean is pretty boring,” Denki says, a slight smile finally breaking across his lips

“Hmm, maybe we could analyze the geopolitical implications of Shrek?” Shinsou suggests.

“It really was a global sensation.”

“Still is.”

“Yeah, you’re totally right.”

There’s a bit of turbulence and Denki startles, holding tighter onto Shinsou’s hand. It breaks the little bubble of distraction Hitoshi was forming and reminds Denki that his fears are founded in truth.

“Deep breath.”

“I’m fine.”

“Deep breath.”

He’d done this with Hitoshi plenty of times when he got a bit too anxious. In for four, hold for four, out for four, hold for four. Again and again.

After he completes a round Shinsou starts back up again.

“When we land I’m thinking we get piña coladas. I heard there’s a bar near our hotel that has great ones. And then tomorrow morning we can sleep in because I know you’ll be tired from the flight so we can start with lunch on the beach and swim together and cuddle after as we dry off.”

This trip was a good idea and it is exactly what they needed. While things weren’t perfect, he felt more assured each day that he picked the right guy to handle his heart.

“Dude, you know I’ll never turn down a 'lada.”

Thanks for reading! Check out my masterlist for more.

[duckapus]

SMG4 Faces the Consequences of Not Buying Physical or Pirating

AKA The One Where the CCC Avatars Get Got

We start off with Jayin and Mr. L going over the plan, which goes like this; L, Reboot Saiko, Brobot and Rhythmi will each go after one of the CCC Avatars with their respective purchase key, represented by actual big goofy-looking gold key props Because Cartoon. They have to actually stick it into the Avatar in order for the Recall to take effect. When it does take effect, anyone and anything that's not meant to be in the game (memes, Code-Level beings, SMGs, visitors, etc) will be left behind, presumably to fade away into the code-dense ether if it isn't something that can survive in that. (I know the initial plan was for the Recall to just Happen all of a sudden but I've been having Ideas this whole time and it grew into an action setpiece). The only exception to non-native entities getting left behind is Tama, thanks to her recent Full Integration into the game's code.

Mr. L's going after Juliano, Saiko for Tulip, Brobot for Nimbus, and Rhythmi for Irene, and they'll also have basic Twilight enemies from CCTG as backup, and will be employing L's Anti-Admin tech to keep the USB avatars (and Emulator) trapped in their Podspace and block anyone from getting in so they can't interfere (it'll also somewhat weaken any Code-Level entities already inside so they'll only be Very Difficult to deal with instead of an instant loss).

Juliano

Mr. L strolls into the Showgrounds with an army of weird shadow monsters like he owns the place and demands they hand over Juliano, who has no idea what's going on, then sends the monsters to attack without waiting for an answer. Everyone there quickly works out that something really weird is going on, because Mr. L's almost always been focused on the Mario Bros before and suddenly switching to Juliano specifically while the whole mysterious amnesia thing is going on is kinda sus. Most of the crew along with a bunch of Leggys from the Meme Factory (there were tons of them I insist that they didn't disappear when Meggy went back to normal) sticks around to fight off the monster horde and distract Mr. L while the Bros, 4, Meggy, Bob and Toad throw Juliano in Luigi's RV and book it.

Mr. L eventually gets away from them and makes chase using the tank version of Brobot L-Type. So now there's a car chase through the streets of New Donk City, which the police and army get involved in since Mr. L's an extremely wanted criminal. Luigi tells everyone to use all the modifications from the demolition derby that Mario was supposed to get rid of but totally never did, and Toad gets to use a roof-mounted machine gun turret. Mr. L actually questions why Toad is helping since last he remembers he doesn't even like the rest of the group, and Toad's response is of course to just flip him off and yell "SUCK MY DDDDDD!!!!!" Because Toad.

Eventually the chase leads them to SMG3's old Gauntlet of Gloom. The good guys run in, and L tries to follow them only to be met by Stu and Pid, who tell him that to brave the challenges of the tower he must first answer their Riddles Three. He of course asks why he can't just kill them and move on, and in response they introduce their new manager; Slenderman.

...He answers their Riddles Three.

(I should note that in an actual episode we'd be periodically switching scenes between the four capture attempts, but since this is a summary I'll not be doing that. I'm putting this note here since it's the most obvious place for a jump-cut so far.)

Anyway, after getting up to the control room he gets into a fight with the group, and has clearly prepared to exploit all their weaknesses, so eventually they're all defeated and he approaches the spot where they've stashed Juliano... only for it to actually be Old Man Hobo in a wig, a recolored outfit and Juliano's top hat (as an explanation for why his CCTG model doesn't have it). The real Juliano is with the Haltmann kids, Marcy and Saiko in the Meme Factory's Great Glass Elevator, headed towards a safehouse in the Splatlands.

Mr. L gets so pissed that he fucking snaps and starts laughing uncontrollably, Super Jumps through the ceiling to the roof, pulls out Domains Western Spaghetti Headset, summons his Circuit model around himself as a sort of Code-Level power armor, and takes off towards the Elevator. I should also note that he made an exception for Circuit in the Program Weakening Field because why wouldn't he. He actually straight-up rams through it, sending everyone inside flying and falling onto the hard desert ground, and they do their best to fight him but with their injuries from the fall are no match for a full-power Program, so he grabs Juliano, sticks the Key in him, and flees through a portal.

Tulip

Tulip's being checked over by Kelsie when the attack comes due to her more volatile condition compared to the other three, and Kelsie actually manages to get out a very brief, may-or-may-not-have-even-gotten-out distress signal because Reboot Saiko was a little bit careless and only activated her anti-Admin tech right when she attacked instead of preemptively. Tulip's got no idea why a purple ninja and a robot girl with a hammer (who she can somehow understand despite not speaking Japanese) are fighting over her and would rather not stick around to find out, and Dale, 7 and 10 are inclined to agree with her (even though they do actually know who the two are), so they all try to make a break for the van...and there's a bunch of shadow monsters between them and it because of course.

Fortunately, it was one of Ashley's modeling days so he shows up, does a Team Rocket style quick-change-reveal (Tulip: how do you yank off a sundress and suddenly have more clothes than before!?), sends out whatever Pokemon he has on hand, then jumps into the fray himself because he has Aura Powers and can Do That Now. The Kelsie vs Saiko fight bursts through a wall into the front lawn where the Pokemon vs Twilight fight is already going on at some point, so Ash, Pikachu and Primeape switch from fighting the mooks to helping with the boss because the rest of the Pokemon have crowd control more-or-less covered.

It's very fast paced, at one point Primeape gets in enough Shadow Punches to Evolve into Annihilape, but they're fighting a Murder Drone (and one who has its normal weaknesses mostly removed no less) who has built-in Anti-Admin tech and happens to be Saiko FUCKING Bichitaru in full Hyper-Sadistic Yandere Mode, plus it's going on long enough that though there is now a path to the van every Pokemon except Pikachu Gengar and Staraptor is knocked out, so things aren't exactly going great, especially when Ash gets thrown through one of the few parts of the front wall that's still standing.

And then suddenly there's blue stiletto knives in Saiko's wing joints.

Everything stops and they look up to see Cursor of all people on the roof since apparently she was close enough to both get Kelsie's distress call and get in before the portal jammer went up. So now Saiko's up against two Admins, one of which is specifically designed for combat and is used to fighting at a disadvantage, and her quarry is getting away. So once she gets an opening she breaks off from the fight and flies after the van, and once they check on Ash (he's fine, he's actually already getting up and telling them he'll catch up) Kelsie and Cursor turn into a barn owl and a giant prehistoric dragonfly respectively and take off in hot pursuit.

Meanwhile in the van, Pikachu is doing his best to help Tulip calm down, which considering his attitude, the fact he's a giant talking rat, and the whole "Dale is breaking every traffic law in existence trying to get away from a psychotic killer robot" thing, is going about as well as you'd expect. Anyway, Saiko manages to catch up and is now having to deal with Gengar and Staraptor attacking her, and then SMG7 gets on the roof with a TF2 minigun to provide supporting fire Because Odd Number SMG, and eventually Saiko gets thoroughly sick of everything and throws her hammer at the van so hard it blasts clean through the back, the dashboard, the engine, all the way through the front and into the road causing the whole damn thing to fucking backflip.

With 7 still on top of it.

This is just about where another one of Tulip's lucid moments starts.

Meanwhile back at the mansion, Ash has apparently been chugging an obscene number of X-Speeds and fully intends to straight-up run on foot fast enough to catch up with everyone. And considering he sets off a small sonic boom when he starts running he's probably gonna manage it.

Kelsie and Cursor arrive on the scene where there is just Absolute Carnage. The van's a flaming wreck, Dale and Gengar are unconscious, 10's hysterical and clinging to 7's broken body, Tulip's seemingly in the midst of a panic attack while Pikachu and Staraptor are barely standing but still keeping themselves as a shield between her and Saiko, and everyone who can be injured is. Kelsie immediately goes Medic Mode and makes a beeline for the SMGs while Cursor hurls herself at Saiko like a bat outa hell, soon joined by a Supersonic Ash Ketchum.

Kelsie finds out that 7's broken most of her bones, including her spine, and has several ruptured organs, (also she's somehow still awake and can't feel her legs) so it's taking everything she has just to keep the poor girl's condition stable because this is bad enough that even Vitality would've had trouble and Kelsie's good but she's no Vitality yet.

Anyway, the thing about X-Speeds is that eventually they wear off (and they're not exactly safe for human consumption, especially as many as Ash just used) so the boost from them doesn't last too long, and the fight's been going on long enough that even Cursor's getting tired despite being and Admin and robots don't get tired, so soon enough all the little mistakes accumulate to the point where Saiko can get past them and finally tag Tulip with her Key.

The world starts fading away around them with some very conspicuous exceptions, and Cursor very quickly realizes what's about to happen and comes up with a plan, yelling at Ash to make a portal to anywhere but there and then once he does grabbing the edges of it and pouring everything she's got into it, with the resulting supercharge sending every non-native element on the server to the location Ash set, which was of course his own world.

Him, his Pokemon, the two Admins and the SMGs land in his mom's living room, since that was the first place he thought of, and as you can imagine Delia is very surprised so suddenly have a bunch of very injured people and Pokemon in her house. Once they land it's like a switch flips and he goes into full Regional Champion Ash Ketchum mode, sending Kelsie and the SMGs to Viridian Hospital with Delia so they can handle 7 (and also 10 since she was also in a massive car crash but she's not the one actively dying so it's a slightly lower concern. Delia's going to keep the poor girl from falling apart), sending Pikachu and Staraptor to Oak's Lab with the balls of the rest of the team both to get them healed and so Pikachu can tell the Professor and Ash's SMGs what's going on, has Mimey keep an eye on Cursor who's completely knocked out on the couch and will be for a while because between the fight and her crazy portal trick she's completely drained, and Ash himself needs to call basically every Major Official-Type Person he knows to get the refugees from Renata handled, starting with the other Champions, as well as call the other Avatars when he's got that squared away.

Nimbus

Dedede and Tune are both in town when shit goes down. Brobot shows up in his Mr. M body with Twilight monsters, and unlike with the other two it's not going his way at all, because he's got an entire army to deal with, Harmonian light magic is super-effective against creatures of pure Darkness, they have a goddamn mythical Pokemon (though the anti-portal field does apparently work on Hyperspace Hole so Hoopa doesn't have it all his way), they have an Absol so they had advanced warning that something was about to go down, they have King Goddamn Dedede and a Megaman Ripoff with a full arsenal of special weapons who fights dirty, and Canon Nimbus is very much not defenseless, nor is she going to stand idly by while whatever this thing is attacks her and her home.

They actually manage to outright destroy Brobot. Or at least, his current body.

Turns out there's now plenty more where that came from. And he can control several at once without any issues. So now instead of dealing with a near-endless swarm of mindless shadow monsters they're dealing with a near-endless highly coordinated army of Mario robots, which is significantly more of a challenge.

Especially when one of them manages to get his hands on Tama and decides to use her as a hostage.

Even when she has no memory of this kitten who's calling her "Mama," Nimbus absolutely can't let anything happen to Tama, so she actually end up turning herself over willingly. And when the world starts fading away, there's no Admin to save them. There is however the Hyperlink Gates, which gives Tune a crazy, stupid idea. The group (at least, the ones that aren't getting taken away) runs for the gate and inputs the coordinates for Dreamland, then Tune wires her arm into it and tells 8 and 9 to boost her as much as possible. The result is similar to what happened in Renata, except for two details.

Number one is that something went funky with the coordinates due to the rewire and they landed in the Anime Dreamland in the middle of Cappy Town's main square (that circular spot with the big tree).

Number two is that Tune's arm blew up and she needs some medical attention.

So, the group runs for Doctor Yabui's clinic, Dedede starts organizing Search and Rescue and temporary housing for the Harmonian refugees (both the local memes and any tourists) by barking orders at everyone in earshot (both getting some of them to actually start the search parties and getting others to send messages to the actual authority figures in the castle, including, unfortunately, his local counterpart). Cappy Town is thankfully familiar with this bigger, nicer more impressive Dedede, so they're immediately On It. He also calls Bandana Dee and finds out that about half of the refugees did get to the right Dreamland and the Star Allies already have things handled there even though they don't exactly know what's going on.

In the meantime 8 and 9 get in touch with 11 and 12 to let them know what happened to Tune, since I imagine they're kind of freaking out about sensing that their Avatar is suddenly seriously injured somewhere when she was supposed to just be checking in on Nimbus.

Also Dapple is very much freaking out because this whole situation is way too similar to her tragic backstory, and she needs something to take out her rage on that isn't breakable and/or important (there's just so many breakable and important things, you know? Cities, people, planets...). Fortunately, she landed in Cloudy Park, and Kracko is an unrepentant asshole who can't die in a way that matters.

Hello misplaced aggression.

Irene

I've unfortunately not got as much detail here as the rest of them, both because there's just not as much to work with with Irene and because this has been a very long post.

When we get our first look at the scene, Rhythmi's already got the SMGs and Comets wrapped up in her webs, and is slowly closing in on Irene, clearly having decided to drag this out and savor the poor child's fear.

And then a giant green flyswatter flattens her.

What follows is an absolutely insane, utterly hilarious fight sequence where Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda show off just how much Anti-Admin tech doesn't work on Fairly Oddparents Fairies. But one slip's all it takes and the fact they aren't allowed to kill her is a massive disadvantage considering the kind of person they're up against, so eventually Rhythmi stops playing, finds an opening, and goes in for the kill. Timmy realizes what's about to happen to all the memes and wishes that everyone was somewhere safe, and they all get Poofed to Equestria.

End Result: All CCC Avatars (and their games) captured, zero casualties, three hospitalizations, the Admins will now know who was controlling Circuit, Cursor's a hero and everyone somehow has to live with that now, and there's a 95% chance SMG7 will never be able to walk again.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #319

...Fwhoof. Sephiroth, I've been on my feet for a total of over 6 hours today. I am tired.

I'm not in bad spirits, though. I haven't fully recovered from the long walk in the woods, methinks; my legs have been just a little bit cranky since. Still, today I went to work. And, naturally, that involves me being on my feet continuously for about 4 hours, constantly moving and doing things.

...I was having some kind of off-day at work, I think. My head felt... sludgy. And everything felt just a little bit scary for reasons I couldn't quite identify. I kept dropping things, and I kept having scattered attention, forgetting stuff in the middle of doing it. It was weird.

With these braces in, I am, unfortunately, generally less inclined to put things into my face, and this includes water, for some reason, even though I'm allowed to drink water with the braces on. I concluded at some point that I must be dehydrated, so when I returned home, I drank some water and felt better within 20 minutes, and that was very good.

Before returning home, though, I had to return all those bottles and cans that I got from BB's and N's house. And so I went to the place with the special machines and... I was a bit too zonked to think to get a picture of the machine. I did take a picture of the receipt, but... there are watermarks all over it that would make it a bit too easy to identify where I'm at.

Anyway, I tried to donate the receipt to the cause of "holiday potluck", which is what I remember being told by the leader of that one team huddle I went to. But when I went to the place where I was supposed to turn it in, the person there didn't know what I was talking about. And that was confusing. I'm hoping to get it sorted out by Monday.

I spent a chunk of time after that picking up various odds and ends for my house. I got some stuff for the baking experiment (not gonna tell you what!), some more deli meats, a few various other odds and ends that I'm too tired to remember, and...!!! A bone-in leg of lamb!!!

...It's not too terribly often that my store has those. And I love preparing it, so I made sure to snatch one up!!! I probably won't be able to cook it for another day or two, but that's fine. I'll still show you how I like to do it, once I get a chance...

I made a lunch when I got home. I used up the rest of the leftover salmon, and, oh!! Some of the box of greens I got from the grocery today, and some onions, and some of the leftover goat cheese, and also some crushed-up Fritos. Topped it all off with some ranch dressing. I filled it out with a bowl of berries (which I also got from the store today!!) and a kombucha...

...You'd certainly be welcome to partake if you were here. I wish I could give you a bowl of such wholesome deliciousness, but alas, a picture is the best I can do...

...

Well. I checked on my tiny pumpkin seedling.

...And as you can see, it is slightly less tiny!!! And a little greener than before!! And the seed is no longer touching the soil!!! Look at it go!!! Sproutin' up from the dirt and makin' it look easy!!!! Fuck yeah!!!!

...I wonder what it'll look like tomorrow...!!!

In any case, the broth in the crockpot smelled amazing, and I decided that it simmered long enough. So I began the process of straining it:

...I know. I know. It looks really gross. But I promise, it smells FANTASTIC, and it's gonna taste fantastic, too, once it's done being seasoned!!

So... I unplugged the crockpot, and waited for it to cool, and got everything all set up...

So one of the things you need to make this work is a wire mesh strainer...

...And a cheesecloth:

...And they come all packaged and folded up like that, but once you unfold them, they look like this...

...They're pretty big. And also pretty flimsy:

...But that's why you fold it up in layers! Folding it up gives the fibers strength while still allowing liquids to easily squish out!

So you plop the folded cheesecloth into the wire mesh strainer, and then you plop your veggie scraps, a little at a time, into the cheesecloth:

...If it's cool enough, you can begin squishing out the water right away, but... it wasn't quite cool enough. The squished-out water was still VERY hot, much to my chagrin. But still, I squished most of the water out of this clump of veggie scraps...

...Bones can't usually be squished, though, so you gotta take those out and set them to the side...

...J got some additional silly pictures, too, because why not, I guess; apparently he likes to say weird things so that I'll make strange faces, haha...

...He also decided to take pictures of the slippers I was wearing, for some reason, hahaha:

Fact of the matter was, though, that the veggie scraps were still a bit too hot to handle. So I decided to scoop them out and just let them sit in the strainer while J and I went to some haunted walk in a historical town some distance from us...

...The scraps will simply drip into the bowl that the wire mesh strainer is over. It's all good. And they'll cool down in the process. They'll be a lot easier to handle tomorrow.

The walk was... nothing really to write home about. It was underwhelming. It was mostly just a history walk, about an hour and a half in length, that they tried to make "spooky" with ghost stories, but... well. Given my influences and weird way of perceiving the world around me... a lot of the places and locations seemed like ordinary Tuesday stuff.

...Like... yes. Supposedly, this or that building has the spooks of dead people chilling in them. And... if so, then... so what? They ain't hurtin' nobody. And if they do start hurtin' somebody, they can be gotten rid of, so like...??? I fail to see the issue. I fail to see what's so scary about them.

One of the stories talked about the ghost of a dead cat rubbing up on people's legs and creeping them out, but like...? I don't think I'd be creeped out. Mostly, I'd just be sad that I can't pet them or leave them snacks in a meaningful way.

...But the company was good! J and I went with my elderly friend P and his sister Jo. We had a lot of interesting conversation about the nature of reality and other related stuff afterwards! We even stopped at a cute little place for gelato and hot chocolate!

...Why yes, Sephiroth; that is a pumpkin spice gelato in the image above.

The hot chocolate can have syrup of various kinds added to it, too:

...Why yes, Sephiroth; this is a bottle of pumpkin pie syrup:

...And yes, I absolutely did add it to my hot chocolate. And I absolutely did get a small cup of pumpkin gelato.

...Want some...?

...You can't even begin to understand what things of mine I'd give up just to be able to give things like this to you.

...

...Well. I'm home now. And by the time we got home, the broth and the scraps were more than cool enough to handle, but... we got back so late that I didn't have time to do anything with them other than put them in the refrigerator. I'll have to finish up tomorrow.

...If I have the energy, that is. It is 12:54am. The lunch with J's tailwheel airplane instructor was rescheduled to today. I gotta get up at 6am.

...Ain't about to let that stop me from writing a letter to you, though.

I do gotta get to bed at this point, though. J and I will likely be out until at least 5 or 6pm. I'll do my best to get nice video and pictures for you. It'll be good!

I love you so much. Please stay safe out there as you do your things, okay?

I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine