josnhoes

[josnhoes]

A small update that boils down to some new diagnosis and the fact that I will for sure be returning just once I'm more handled? Details under cut.

Mentions of major mental illness and kinda a vent

So two days after this post I ended up breaking down to my psych doc. Like full on let it all out. Was almost admitted to a grippy sock holiday. But from the sounds of it depending on if the feelings I do have mixed with the worsening hallucinations and disconnect with my body...I might be getting a schizophrenia diagnosis. This isn't a huge surprise I have many on my mom's side with the issue. Still because of that there is a big stigma around it in my family, and I'm trying to tell myself it's okay.

I was diagnosed previously with bipolar with psychosis. Which was pretty challenging but it felt lesser I guess.

It isn't solidified *yet* I've been put on new meds and have a person with me near constantly now. So I'm safe. I still want to end myself especially after election day...but it's being dealt with.

I'm not in a great place mentally, but I'm working on it. I do plan on coming back once I'm more balanced. I really miss writing more indulgent things here.

These post will be deleted once I'm back. I'm sorry for the tmi I just feel you all deserve an explanation.

Bad shit irl under cut

Important part is basically I'm going on indefinite hiatus

It might be a while until I post here again. My mental health is not good. I've been battling and forcing the okay things but to be blunt I don't know if I can do it anymore. I had a full breakdown today and spent a full week wanting to kms.

I confronted a lot of emotions today and I'm not better for it. If I wasn't so scared of how shitty the local phsych ward was I'd probably try and get admitted.

I can't promise I'll be back here but it's a goal to come back.

Lots of Love and a maybe good bye

[josnhoes]

whats the other writing blog like? original stories? 👀

It's a Danny phantom x dc crossover blog. I'm running it differently then here much more balls to the walls style. I'm reblogging other people's work there and plan to just put idea out there rather then take request actively.

I've always considered making my own stuff. Maybe reboot the old novel I wrote when I was 10. Or world building for the many fantasy ideas I have. But no one ever seemed interested in original stuff from me. So I just dropped it. Could even have done a yandere x read original stuff. Got ocs and a world all built.

[josnhoes]

Delicious in Dungeon knak idea... Give the reader a slingshot and make them a good shot. Aim for the eyes of any non slime or plant monster; head shots for all 👀

Content warnings Canon style violence

Chilchuk was the one to give you the sling shot. He knew it would at most buy you time should you be in a fight and have to engage. But really the entire group preferred the idea of you hidden away from the monsters. Truly he and Senshi would have preferred getting you back to the surface. A child of any race didn't belong in a dungeon. But their mission is time sensitive so they can't take you back. But they couldn't abandon you either.

The slingshot chilchuk gave you was old, and if you asked him why he'd explain that as a child you don't have a lot of strength to pull back the sling so an older more worn in one would be easier. You'd get stronger, probably graduate to a newer one. If you ended up with them long enough.

No one expected your aim to be any good. Liaos commenting on how being new at it you might hit one of them. That night while being taught, you showed him just how powerful spite could be as a motivator. And if you feigned a few small misfires to knock the man in the head he didn't notice. Everyone else did but no one complained. You didn't hurt Liaos after all just gave him a couple tiny bruises. He got worse from his own armor sometimes.

They still all try to keep you out of battle. Keeping you in the back with Marcille when they can. But the cover fire you help with while not strong enough to kill yet you do make openings; which is just as valuable to them.

[josnhoes]

Hmm knak au w/ Delicious in Dungeon would be hilarious. Like imagine reader is a young half-foot, the double wammy of being a child as the one race that's confused for human children all the time

I want to do half-foot too because it's cute. But I don't think the ever looming threat of such a short life span would be fun. So how about a dwarf? Still small and cute. Plus Senshi would just dive deeper into dad mode.

This is set pre finding Falin hence no Itsumi

Content warning: Canon violence mentions, eating monsters, panic attack mention

The group finds you in their task to find Falin. It wasn't hard to when they could hear your crying. And why wouldn't you be crying? You had woken up in some unknown place, a place where everything was so big that you felt small. Well that had been your assumption that everything was big, they you looked at your hand and had your *first* panic attack.

Then things got *worse*, you ran into actual monsters. And all you could do was run. Run and hide and pray to whatever diety would listen to save you. You couldn't help the tears as you bunkered down in the cubby hole in the wall.

The sound of a child crying had put the entire group on edge. Was it a new monster mimicking a child? But ultimately the group decided to check. And their shock was intense as they found a small Dwarven child sobbing in a hole in a wall. The kid was lucky the cleaners hadn't started fixing the hole.

It took some time to lure you out and Liaos had almost been tempted to leave you. Not out of malicious intent. But their mission was time sensitive, and a kid would slow them down... but those thoughts were quickly silenced with his own guilt at having considered it.

Marcille was asking how you got here, she hoped a group of adventures wouldn't bring a *child* into the dungeon. But only had more questions when you said you woke up here. You didn't tell her the whole truth about your origins, fear of being abandoned in such a dangerous place overruling the instinct to tell the truth.

Senshi is already working on a meal. He knows they can get answers later, right now the youngin need to eat. If they woke up in the dungeon they probably hadn't have eaten. It also helped cooking made him calm, and the entire situation had him stressed.

Chilchuk was just as panicked. There was a child in the dungeon. Had some adventure group drugged or used sleep magic to keep you unconscious to use as monster bait? With his guild protecting the half-foots did some horrible group decide to get *creative*. That could be figured out later. Right now he had to convince the group to take you back to the surface... a task he didn't know he could manage. Either way he refused to leave a child like this, flashes of his own daughters in his mind fueling that.

[josnhoes]

I have a wired idea of mixing knk and god au, but with our favorite vampire boy images there is a prophecy that the vampire god of theirs will be reborn

When finding them it's just this lil gremlin child who may or may not be half human because their dad is a bard and mom is some random magical person

Sadly that wouldn't work. Reader is isekai-ed, the body they are in has no parents in this world. It'd just their normal body gone kid mode. So that would be kinda against the au.

That being said I actually do have some plans involving reader being assumed a fledgling God or a demi-god. The way their magic works is just *so* different that it brings doubt to their mortality. Magic has worked how it has for mortals since the beginning. Yet reader breaks the basic rules of magic with no consequence.

Eventually Gale is going to start considering the idea after an intrusive thought. Now he won't bring it up to reader but it might slip to a few party members. If it's true or not will remain a mystery for now.

[josnhoes]

I'm just gunna go with instinct on the knak that time I was reincarnated as a slime au which for future use I will just refer to it as ttrs. I don't know if it has an abbreviation officially or not.

Basics I'm going with is:

-Reader is from the same world as Rimuru before he died. So they are unaware of the plot.

-Reader was an avid dragon fan and monster fan in their life. So as they died they said it'd be cool to be a dragon. They also wanted to not have to worry about being in danger or having to adult.

-Since those are the dying wishes they had, the words of the world made them into a dragon but not much older than a hatchling. Because if you're a kid you don't have to look after yourself, others would protect you too. Though you were more then capable of protecting yourself...with practice.

-You are in the cave with Rimuru when you spawn as both of you died at the same time. And you take to him immediately because he's squishy. Rimuru can tell your small so he protects where he can, when he finally sees and sees your a little kid he panics. A full on am I a dad now?! Panic in his mind.

-You try to tell Rimuru and Veldora your whole background. But all you can say is where you were from and that you died. Anytime you try to say your age, name, or elude to it something physically stops you. Like it's a curse or something.

-Veldora just looks at this tiny unnamed abandoned hatchling and is definitely jumping to being a dad...internally. externally he is saying things about how lucky you are because he will adopt you into *his* family and mentor you. Truly having the great storm dragon as a guardian is a boon! He will pout worse if you say no.

-You are named along side Rimuru given the shared name as well. (As for a name I'm still debating if I should give reader a name or not or write it in the usual style of no name really mentioned just pet names. Opinions welcome)

-Unlike Veldora who has to learn to hide his aura, and take a human form you do it on instinct.

-Reader has to deal with a myriad of instincts over writing a lot of their adult mind. Not only are you a kid again you are a whole new species. That draconian urge to bite is *strong*. Everyone says they're love bites tho even when you cause actual damage by accident. Rimuru leaves your babysitter with potions just in case.

[josnhoes]

How would a knak au work for 'That time I got reincarnated as a slime!'? Like since it's already an isekai and it's not uncommon for people to be summoned would the mc be like Rimiru? Born into a common enemy like a spider or bat, or do they get to stay human?

🤔

I'm actually still fleshing out that mentally. I'm very very torn on what to make reader.

I've already decided reader won't be human. My first instinct is making reader a dragon. But I don't know if that's too crazy or not. But at the same time dragons are dope, baby dragons are adorable, and dad Veldora?

I'm also torn on reader and Rimuru wake up in the same cave together. So reader is there from the start or if they should be introduced later. Which does make a big difference to some interactions.

Any and all opinions are welcome.

[josnhoes]

For First God au on Hades

Is it okay for interaction with Achilles and The Mintar, liked they just say their presence reminds them of a friend

I'm sorry but Hades request are on hold until I get to play hades 2. That means I'm not accepting them right now.

[josnhoes]

Here's another ask for BG3 KNAK au if you have the time and/or are interested! Could the party potentially become a platonic yandere for the reader if any or all characters go down their "evil" routes. For example, does a vampire ascendant Astarion treat the reader like a doll to be kept in a gilded cage or does he seek to turn them so they will be under his control? If Shadowheart becomes a justiciar, does she seek to indoctrinate the reader into the Shar cult?

I honestly view the party in this AU as yanderes in general. I keep it vague but I'm a sucker for yandere content and writing it.

In request not specifying yandere I try to keep it in a Grey area on if it's yandere or not so everyone can enjoy.

In general though even with out the bad endings they would all go to great lengths to keep you with them. They bounce between accepting one another and being jealous of eachother. Because of that when the adventure ends they will either give in to becoming one big family unit and living together sharing their sweet reader, and raising them together; or a total war. (I personally like the Addams family possibilities)

In order to stay with you and keep you safe they'd all willingly damn themselves if need be. To make sacrifices in the name of you, after all family always sacrifices for eachother.

Some might use it to manipulate reader into compliance. Astarion specifically. He says he only took the lives of the other spawn because of you. Because he wanted to be able to provide you with all you needed to grow strong and flourish. (Eluding to being able to take you in the sun and eat meals with you) It wouldn't work at first since Astarion loved the idea of power in general.

Gale would too actually. Saying he had become a God and lost Tara just to be able to protect you. Spinning lies of threats from other Gods and beings he couldn't fight as a human.

[josnhoes]

Had a funny idea about how reader is self aware bg3 au would use all their modern knowledge to bait every character (especially bad guys) to a mind goblin or ligma type jokes

They all thought it was cleaver at first, amusing as well. But it got old fast to them. At least when used on them and average pepeople. The baddies they all still got a laugh at.

So at camp it wears out quick, time them out and don't spam. At baddies? Go ham.

[josnhoes]

Hi Hun! I know it's been a while since I sent an ask, but reading your knak au stuff has got it stuck in my head now too. Do you have any headcanons for Halsin from BG3 with knak reader? Thank you so much in advance! 😘

I'm sorry this took so long to get to bestie ilu tho

Warnings: mentions of dead animals/ animal death in tones of getting food and natural causes. Hints of yandere but it's mostly over protective papa bear activity.

Halsin started out feeling uncomfortable having such a small child with the group. But at the same time he doesn't really have a say on who is in the party at all. At least you seemed okay with everything.

It took a month for that uncomfortable feeling to go away and be replaced with a need to have you close. He was a worry wort. While he did think it was important kids be kids and learn of dangers naturally; that protective instinct he had was in overdrive. Somewhere in that month he had gotten attached, and now his lectures of nature being a good teacher for a child he gave to a few over protective druids felt hollow. He finally understood the whole 'you'll know when you have one of your own' was actually an ancient curse. Because he understood now.

It didn't help his heart that despite being well meaning and kind, you thrived in chaos and making it. Luckily the chaos you make is playful...mostly. He doesn't *blame* you for your curiosity, but please stop experimenting with your magic so much.

Luckily the stress wasn't constant, as fit as he was much more stress and he may just pass away. He said as much once to the group and you burst into tears because you didn't want him to die.

He felt so guilty making you cry he really did. Enough that he let you 'guard' him from danger for a full week. You playing mother hen to him during that time was adorable and helped his attachment grow.

Unbeknownst to Halsin you knew what you were doing post tear fit and that his comment was a joke. Yes you were playing around being the mother hen and such; but those tears had been real from a build up of stress and the thought of one of your party dying was just too much. (Bonus the time Gale mentioned blowing himself up as an option you forbade it and promised you'd knock him out if he tried)

Halsin takes pride in teaching you how to survive. While he doesn't plan on leaving you alone in the wild, it was better safe then sorry. Plus he couldn't help but imagine when all was said and done the two of you moving into the grove;so it was imperative you knew those skills.

He takes you hunting often. Each trip is spent learning. From gathering, survival, and actually hunting. His archery is rusty since usually he hunts as a bear... so Astarion had to step in at the beginning to teach.

You asked him why you couldn't just magic at them. And that lead to a full debate on what counts as an act of nature. Because apparently you had to hunt fairly to preserve the balance..but also magic was *natural* and nature gave you the gift so shouldn't you using it be nature's will? Animals didn't complain of the unfairness in predators and that was natural advantages so you should be fine.

He did *not* enjoy that talk. It left him questioning a few too many things. Not to mention seeing you all fired up got the camp interested. More opinions were added and you had a defense squad. Eventually just to get out of the topic he claimed magic killed meat tasted funny. Which you were ready to accept until *Gale* interjected with the fact that wasn't always true and that magics left unique flavors based on type. Suddenly you were insistent again and needed to taste the magic. So another attempted to dissuade you began. A side which he was alone on.

Speaking of magic Halsin was terrified by the amount of power you had. How differently your magic worked, and the debate on if you could learn the magic here with out danger. But that was only because he wanted to teach you to become a druid. He wouldn't force it on you but he would make a strong argument for it though. That argument being if you learn you can talk to cats and become an animal. What kid doesn't want to be some form of animal? It's a very strong argument.

Yes he knows being a druid is far more then that, but you could learn the details after you started learning. Halsin knew that was a bit messed up but he was allowed to be selfish a little right? Besides you'd only benefit from the knowledge.

He hasn't seriously brought it up yet only dropping hints and seeing your reactions. Spoiler you don't want to follow what's basically a religion but still wanted to be an animal. So you hijinks-ed and got the ability.

He loves spending time with you as animals. One time you both went out as bears to learn to navigate as an animals. Your small cub form nearly made him coo. Best night of his life emotionally. Him and his child out enjoying nature with no worries living like the animals.

You are his kid and while he won't force you to call him dad or anything but he's going to look after you. Besides wasn't this entire group a just an odd pack anyway? Practically family.

Halsin basically is co-parenting with Astarion and Gale at this point. The others are more aunts, and uncles; with a big brother (Wyll) included in the mess.

[josnhoes]

ALSO fandoms on hold will be strikes but remain. Hades in one such Fandom until I get to play hades 2.

Alright duckies I'm going to be bolding fandoms on the list that my brain is going brrr for and are more likely to get swifter answers.

I've also added "that time I was reincarnated as a slime" as a Fandom because I love it and I can't be stopped.

[josnhoes]

Alright duckies I'm going to be bolding fandoms on the list that my brain is going brrr for and are more likely to get swifter answers.

I've also added "that time I was reincarnated as a slime" as a Fandom because I love it and I can't be stopped.

[josnhoes]

OHH A TAV HELLO THERE I'D LIKE TO SEE

I'm so happy to share

Here are all the pictures I have of her right now. I have a male Tav too who is a rat bastard lol

[josnhoes]

Does...does anyone wanna see screenshots of my si tav? Mods came out so I'm starting fresh...again....

[josnhoes]

man that WOULD be so cool, I always love a good "harmless little guy gets surrounded by very much NOT harmless big guys" it's so good

And there is so many ways it could go. Because it could be platonic, romantic, and/or yandere depending on the ask. It could be so much fun!

[josnhoes]

again I don't know about the wider public but surely there are cotl lovers who'll find and adore if you write for it eventually, I know I love your oc and would love to see anything you'd have in store for her or for the cotl people

and I feel being bad at names so much, I've only memorized a small amount (the Lamb and Narinder are it, I did learn 2 the other day but have forgotten, you're doing a lot better on names than you think)

I'm am high key considering it. Just to be self indulgent. I have so much love for this game. I would love to just ay around with it.

Because like not only is there a self aware possibility. There is Lamb!reader or follower!reader who becomes the object of worship to the cult and eventually all the characters. Just this beloved little being who feels overwhelmed by all these powerful beings being friendly to them. Oh! Or a classic isekai where reader is a follower but is fully aware of the entire plot of the game and is trying to avoid being dragged into the chaos. An unwilling participant who just wants to get home. A lamb version of that would be cool too....