#alfred: 🤨

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Broke: Bruce doesn’t understand slang and is confused when his children use it

Woke: After an incident where he misunderstood what Jason meant when he asked if he could “yeet this guy,” Bruce made sure to always stay up to date on slang so he could understand his kids

Bespoke: The above incident did happen and Bruce does know slang, but he pretends not to and uses it incorrectly as a form of psychological warfare when his kids are being annoying

[dukeofthomas]

why does every reconciliation fic go like this

[pteropodidaes]

recently started reading batgirl 2000 and i am having the time of my life. like yes cassandra stop that guy's heart for 3 seconds because he shot and killed his friend! punch lady shiva with the arm she broke like an hour ago and steal her pearl bracelet, we love to win!! slowly relearn how to fight over the course of 10 years? ❌️ relearn how to fight fast and live for one year ✅️ secret identity? what secret identity barbara we only care about PATROL ‼️‼️‼️

i have only scraped at the surface of this girl's insanity and i'm only at issue 17. i haven't even talked about the shit babs and bruce get up to. everyone should read batgirl 2000

as a closing note take an alfred. not usually a huge fan of his but he was so fucking funny in these panels

[taus-inc]

finished christian bales batman and i love them

[frogaroundandfindout]

[silenthillmutual]

he has no mouth and he must scream

[ghostlylicious]

did u js call yennefer mommy issues ??? 🤨

[mikeluciraphgabe]

Dick: Sorry guys, Bruce AND Alfred said no more cookies for today

Damian: this vexes me

Tim: so not demure

Duke: I’m going to eat Damian

Jason and Steph: Destiel didn’t die for this

Cass: ☝️❓🤨🙄

Dick: Please guys what the fuck are you saying

[zhelin-thames]

Imagining Danny (as Damian's twin) spreading a rumor that Jason is dating Red Hood

[Group Chat: “BatFam Chaos”]

Danny: So… anyone else notice that Jason is always hanging out with Red Hood? Dick: Well, yeah. Red Hood is Jason. Danny: Okay, but like… have we ever seen them in the same place at the same time? 🤔 Tim: You do know why, right? Danny: I’m just saying, they seem really close. 👀

Jason: What the hell are you talking about, Spooky? Danny: No judgment, man. Love is love. 💕 Jason: I AM RED HOOD. Danny: Sure, that’s what you’d want us to believe. 🤨 Tim: Oh no. He’s doing the thing. Dick: Oh my God, Jason. Are you secretly dating yourself? Jason: I hate all of you.

[Later, in the Batcave]

Bruce: Danny, explain this… situation with Jason. Danny: [innocently floating mid-air] I was just pointing out the facts, Bats. Jason and Red Hood spend a lot of time together. Bruce: Jason is Red Hood. Danny: Or he’s just really good at covering for his boyfriend. 😏 Jason: I am going to shove you into the Ghost Zone.

[Alfred’s Text to Bruce]

Alfred: Master Danny is currently taking a poll among the Gotham rogues about “Jason and Red Hood’s relationship status.” Bruce: …How is it going? Alfred: Surprisingly, Mr. Cobblepot believes it’s a deeply emotional connection.

[Danny’s Stream: “Conspiracy Theories with Phantom”]

Danny: So chat, here’s the evidence: Jason’s always defending Red Hood, Red Hood keeps showing up wherever Jason is, and they share the same motorcycle. Like, come on. Couple vibes. Jason: [bursting into the room] END THE STREAM, DANNY. Danny: See? He’s embarrassed. Totally dating.

Tim: You know this is going to become an internet rumor, right? Danny: Mission accomplished. 😌

[luludeluluramblings]

One thing I always wonder in Neglected! Reader scenarios that I haven’t seen anyone explore is Married/Single Mom! Reader. It’s drama and angst potential.

Like Reader having a boyfriend and getting pregnant while still living in the Wayne manor, and everyone just takes a little too long to figure out. Maybe they do find out early with the morning sickness and whatnot but the thought of Bruce looking at Reader like 6 months pregnant and being like “Wait a minute… 🤨” and Reader wasn’t even trying to hide it that much.

And same scenario except Reader moved out either while pregnant or got pregnant after, Batfam forgets all about them and when fate does bring them together (like the Bruce/Selina wedding concept) she is literally about to pop or has a whole baby with her. Cue Bruce (and later everyone else) losing his shit because omg??? 😧 that’s his first grandchild and he had no idea!!

… And then if the Reader is married in this scenario, makes it all the more complicated (she didn’t invite anyone to her wedding? what do you mean Alfred attended when we had no idea?). Everyone is straight up hostile towards her spouse (Damian, Bruce and Jason are insufferable) and safe to say he won’t be around for long. Single mom Reader though, the amount of emotional manipulation about kids needing a family and father figures and you should move back in so everyone can help with the baby… Yeah.

Platonic!Yandere!Batfam x SugarBaby!Reader x Older!Husband

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N:OOOOO, I have something I was working on that I was having fun with that you might like!

A/N:Neglected!Reader with Older!Husband. (It's husband because it's based of that meme Your daughter calls me daddy, too. And, Reader is Female, because we're making a baby in here.)

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

You, sweet thing, do the typical thing and run off from home, once you turn the legal age. Checking in with Alfred on occasion, but just living your best life. Only, in typical fashion, all those years of neglect lead to severe daddy issues. And, a minor itty bitty attraction to older men.

You get lucky though because you manage to find a fine one that loves to spoil his baby girl with vacations and spa days. All the best for his baby. He loves taking you places and showing you a good time. So, it's no wonder he plans a Babymoon for you when you're expecting your first child. Anything for you.

Unfortunately, Daddy gets called into work right before the vacation. And, despite you insisting you stay, he makes you go and promises to join you as soon as possible.

(No, the man isn't cheating. He just gotta make the money for his baby.)

You have a good time, pregnant on the beach. Getting massages and spa treatments. Video calling your husband every time the baby kicks and flutters.

Unfortunetly, even though you haven't used the Wayne name since you've been married, some drug lords recognize you and decide to ransom you. Dragging you back to Gotham in your little sundress the just so hides your baby bump.

Gotham media runs with the story. Lost Wayne heiress held hostage. No one is ignoring that.

The bat's pull off a daring rescue, but you being stubborn, try to escape on your own. Fearing for your baby's life if they just happen to chose not to come. They never came when you were little, why would they come now.

You happen to injure yourself while escaping. But, manage to make it to an on scene ambulance while the Bats take care of the thugs. You happen to faint on the way to the hospital, leaving the doctor's discover you pregnancy.

Already the media is surrounding the hospital for the most drama filled story of the year. Thankfully, the paramedics have some compassion in hide the bump when rolling you into the ER.

With the media's attention, your husband flies into Gotham and makes it to the hospital just in time to ask the nurse where you are in front of Bruce.

Bruce, of course, bristles when a man his age burst in the hospital demanding to see you, but is using the wrong last name. The nurse saying only family can see you.

"That's my daughter," Bruce will say. Assuming this man is trying to claim you as his. But, he already did.

Making Bruce, the family, the nurses, the patients, and the reporter who managed to sneak in freeze when he says, "That's my wife."

Imagine the doctor that just finished checking on you and your baby walking in right after announcing that you were both okay. The look on Bruce's face when he realizes that this man, his age, not only married you, but had the audacity to put a baby in you.

Even better, the smug way your husband looks at Bruce when he brushes past him to follow the nurse to your room because husband beats father and you demanded to see him.

The drama that follows is going to be legendary.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: I had this idea jotted down and fluffed it up just for this. I'm not sure you wanna know who I had in mind for Reader's husband. (Dude is from another franchise.) But, the thought of him interacting with Bruce as the guy who married Bruce's daughter and knocked her up, delights me in such a visceral way.

[ktkat99]

Dick- Creating the Discowing suit

Jason- Adding a bomb to his helmet

Tim- Going by 'Drake'

Duke- Patrolling during the day

Damian- Equipping a sword

Bruce- Why does it seem like you all just make decisions based off what I DON'T want you to do?

Bruce- Where does all of this disrespect come from?

Dick- We are merely products of our upbringing

Jason- I thought you'd be proud that we all took after you

Bruce- Oh, don't play that. I was never this much of a...

Alfred, raising an eyebrow- 🤨

Bruce- I listened to my authority figures...

Alfred, eyebrow going higher

Bruce- I...

Dick- B, do you really want us to believe that you asked Alfred's permission to become Batman?

Tim- And that he agreed?

[shayesinterlude]

Duke putting the batfam onto 90s and 2000s R&B

Like him bringing the seasoning to the Batfam’s music taste

Now you got Tim hacking whole overseas Government Agencies while humming Replay by Iyaz.

Red hood going 110 mph on his bike blasting Bust the Windows by Jasmine Sullivan.

Duke got Alfred cooking Sunday morning breakfast to Golden by Jill Scott (He’s ironically already a huge fan of neo soul?)

Bruce taking the long way home and listening to Ex Factor by Lauren Hill after an argument with Selina.

Just for him to be FLOORING it to Selina’s apartment to Faith Evans’s As Soon As I Get Home, to in fact, “make it up” to her a weekend later.

Duke has put on Bartender by T-Pain at a Wanye hosted gala at least once. Hired DJ was taking a bathroom break and Duke seen a opportunity.

Steph going around the Wayne manor talking about, “I remember when you laughed when I cut my perm off and you rated me a 6 😐💔..” to everyone for a straight week.

(And out of all the songs Duke tried to put Steph onto, It was Jeanelle Monaé’s Like That, that strangely stuck??)

Duke introduces Damian to Michael Jackson and now he’s having the canon MJ fixation all 2000’s kids had growing up.

Everyone’s spying on him from behind the stair railing (Bruce and Barb through surveillance storing this away for his graduation) while he plays the Michael Jackson Experience dance game in the living room. Duke couldn’t be prouder.

Human nature’s on loop at max volume he’s in the shower because it “relaxes his nerves” Not even Tim’s cruel enough to tell him MJ’s passed on years ago.

and EACH and EVERYTIME Duke catches them listening to something of his taste he MUST hit ‘em with the “AYE, NOW WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT 🤨??”

But his greatest influence would be on Cass

He has Cass wearing matching Soulja Boy fits with him to spirit week at school for 90’s day.

The two of them come down the staircase that morning. Boombox on Duke’s shoulder blaring Turn My Swag On for their grand entrance. Alfred does not approve.

And while Dick tests Duke’s ability to truly “Crank That” over breakfast.. Jason hovers over Cass.

Inspecting the ensemble of the polo, baggy jorts-that are basically pants-, and a sideways fitted cap all hanging off her. And upon the realization that it’s all his clothes; Jason’s frown becomes completely forced.

He also snorts a little after noting Cass’s unlaced shoes are actually Tim’s dunks with socks stuffed at toe box for a more comfortable fit. Tim who had already clocked that almost immediately on her way down the stairs doesn’t hide his amusement at this whole situation.

Bruce, hading already witnessed the giggling pair sneak into his closet the night before on the Manor’s surveillance. Watching Duke insist they “gotta be iced out” before picking a few very expensive pieces of jewelry to borrow. He sips his coffee without a word; their smiles are worth more.

Alfred draws the line at “bumping” Pretty Boy Swag while in the car riding line at school drop off

[julymusings]

Can we also get a desi reader for Tim, Bruce, and aged up damian, please?

Bruce Wayne x South Asian!Reader

ok i did say whatever you ask is yours...but tbh i'm not much of an anyone-other-than-jason-or-dick girlie (i knowww i'm sorry). maybe in the future i'll write for the others but for now here's some bruce content. hope it's okay pleeease don't hate me. also sorry this took literally 50 years i was going thru some stuff💀

batboys x south asian!reader masterlist

I think he’d try really hard to impress you by taking you to those super fancy Michelin star Indian fusion restaurants. They’re good but don’t have quite the same charm as home cooked Indian food, so you bring him back to your place and cook for him.

I’m gonna be real here…all that man really needs is a kiss and one of grandma’s recipes. You feed him a bite straight from the pot and the softness and intimacy of the action alone almost has him in tears, never mind the love and warmth of a home cooked meal

You two come back to your place late one night after an event and you’re craving some comfort food, so you heat up some leftover rice with ghee and jaggery, and he doesn’t seem to have much of a reaction when he tries it, but when you guys have a fight that results in you not seeing each other for a few days, when you finally return to the manor Alfred informs you that was the only thing he ate because it reminds him of you and he missed you😭

I imagine not being very used to how much money he has, so some of the wealthy stuff he does is kinda weird to you. Seriously, this man has been a billionaire his entire life, so you can’t tell me that at least a morsel of Brucie Wayne’s financial out-of-touchness isn’t a tiny bit real

You tell him that in your culture, it’s common to gift gold at really special milestones/occasions. But he gets carried away.

He buys you a bunch of gold jewelry, like for every occasion and it’s like…real, solid, 22k gold. You try to tell him that it’s too much and you don’t need anymore and please stop buying it but he’s just like “why🤨🤨? That gold necklace was only a thousand dollars that’s so cheap” and you make him stand in the corner

I think he’d feel so weird about not wearing shoes at your place but you make him get used to it🤷‍♀️

He’s a genius fr so he picks up your language very easily

You love the super extra Uber-dramatic soap operas and it’s a guilty pleasure of yours to watch them before bed. I can just imagine the two of you huddled together in bed watching them on your laptop. He makes sure all the TVs in the house have all the channels you like. Eventually he can’t sleep without watching them either😭

I think he’d love certain perfume scents that are from South Asia, and he’d buy you fancy those perfume oils

I’m sorry but…I can NOT see this man wearing a kurta. Like I just don’t think he’d do it.

Lighting incense in the batcave. That’s all

incorporating this ask bc it's relevant:

One day you’re making chai, and you ask him to bring the pot from the stove to the counter for you. That thing^ is lying next to the stove, but he doesn't know what that is. And since he can withstand intense levels of pain without flinching he just. Picks up the boiling pot with his bare hands and brings it to you.

"Why didn't you use the clamp?!" "How was I supposed to know what that thing was!!" You show him how to use it but he's kinda petty ("Why can't you just use a normal pot with a normal handle?! Why are you making more work for yourself?") so he refuses to use it and just keeps handling the pot with his bare hands.

But one day you're deep in conversation while making chai. The pot is boiling and he handles it anyway, but you're distracted and you forget that he can do that. You assume it's not hot so you touch it and burn yourself and he feels sooo bad. He's kissing all over your hands and pampering you for the whole day. He finally gives in and just starts using the stupid clamp.

I hc Bruce as being a consistent meditator. He probably spent a lot of time learning about it while training across the world and it helps him feel grounded and calm. He tries to get his kids to do it too, but they don't all like it as much as him. So if you meditate with him every now and then he really appreciates that.

You try to get him into yoga along with it and he's like...scarily good at it. He's not super flexible like Dick, so he chooses to opt out of the super bendy poses, but his core strength is unmatched. He can balance his entire bodyweight on one limb no sweat. He's not wobbling, shaking, or tipping over. He's still as a statue and he can last for hours. (😏)

If you get married, I don’t think it would be a huge event. Like there would probably be some kind of reception that’s more of a formality/business event than anything else where he puts on Brucie Wayne, but for the actual ceremony I think it would just be the family

He'd fly you to your home country to have the ceremony there at some super fancy historical attraction. Even if it's just you and some other close people, he's getting the whole place shut down for the day just for you.

I can’t imagine needing to step into a stepmom role for anyone? Except maybe Cass, Duke, and Damian when his mom isn’t around. The four of you DEFINITELY gang up on Bruce all the time and make fun of his whiteness.

You’d also totally gift them traditional wear

The first time you make dinner for everyone, you make it spicy and everyone loves it, but Bruce is just sitting there SWEATING

He’s so good at keeping a poker face that you wouldn’t have even been able to tell it was too spicy for him if not for the beads of sweat on his face. You give him milk to help soothe the heat but he never lives it down

But you actually are so mothering to the kids, you make them turmeric milk when they’re sick and chai with biscuits when they come home from school🫶and it's so sweet it makes Bruce fall for you all over again

When you move in the whole wearing shoes in the house still bothers you, but you can’t stop everyone else from doing it, so you declare your bedroom a no shoes zone. Bruce can wear shoes anywhere else in the house but NOT your bedroom.

And if you still feel weird about wearing shoes around the manor, he'll buy you a bunch of pairs of home slippers and stash them all over the place

Whenever you stay over he brings you chai in the morning. Once you're married and living with him, he brings it to you in bed every morning. At one point he's like "You know Alfred can bring it for both of us" but you insist it tastes so much better when it's from him, and he can't say no to you.

me personally i like to support women's organizations in south asia, i.e. access to education and better healthcare which means things like menstrual products & obgyn care so i am going to hc that after you share how passionate you are about those, WE partners with an existing charity for those issues, both in south asia and other parts of the world and raises tons of money to donate...take that if you like it (world so bad we writing fanfic about equality now😭)

Since he's a famous billionaire playboy he 100% has an internet presence (likely curated to fit Brucie) and there are tons of edits and memes about him. When the world finds out his partner is south asian, brown people probably go a little insane and there's definitely tons of those memes where they photoshop his face over someone in traditional wear and caption it "Bajju Wagle" or some other name with his initials LMAO

[yeetus-feetus]

Batfam incorrect quotes (vines)

Dick: everyone's been asking about you Damian

Damian: then keep asking! That whole family cast me out Dick!

Dick: only because you think you're straight

Damian: I am straight!

Dick: well you can tell that to mom, and mom, and your sperm doner dad, and dad's boyfriends, and-

•

Tim: so I'm sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties-

Steph: *falls to the ground and dies in a fit of laughter*

•

Kon: Don't tell your father

Tim: kiss one another

Kon: die for each other

Tim:❗❗❗

•

Dick: *throws Jason's gun away*

Jason: what the fUck RicHaRd

•

Jason: hello Tim.

Tim: hi, Jason.

Jason: That outfit looks familiar...

•

Duke: toss me my keys

Duke: ... I said my keys!

Steph: I thought you said printer

Duke: now why the fuck would I say-

•

Cass: what did you get for question 12?

Barbara: I got 18

Steph: I got 9.5 ???

Dick: I got Abraham Lincoln ... for some reason. I don't-

•

Damian: Don't fuck with me! I have the power of God and anime my side! HYAAAAA!!

•

Jason: iis there anything better than pussy?

Jason: yes! A really good book!

•

Reporter: where do you keep all your gadgets while fighting? It's incredible!

Cass: Belt.

•

Damian with his new hairstyle: stop saying I look like Tim! He's dumb and he's a coward!

Damian: AND I'M NOT A COWARD!

•

Kori: hey babe, happy one year! <3

Dick: ??? I'm 27

(they're idiots your honour)

•

Jason, about Bruce: his hair, wack. His gear, wack. His car, wack. His footsteps, wack. The way that he talks, wack. The way that he doesn't even like to smile, wack.

Jason: me? I'm tight as fuck!

•

Duke: WAKE UP SLEEPYHEAD!!

Tim: what? What's going on!?

Bernard: what the fuck man?

Duke: 😱🤭!!

•

Jason: hey everybody, today Tim replaced me so I'm starting a Kickstarter to put him down. The benefits of killing him would be-

•

Duke: hey how y'all-

Titus: *growling and snarling*

Duke: AH! get your fuckin dog bitch!

Damian: it don't bite

Duke: YES IT DO!

•

Barbara, watching Dick and Wally through the cameras: two bros chillin in a hottub 5 feet apart coz they're not gay

•

Jason: in the League of Assassins, we got-

Damian: 👶

Jason: whose baby is you??

•

Dick: this chicken is almost as juicy as my ass

Cass: 🤨?

Bruce: 🤦

Alfred: 😐

Everyone else: 🙄

•

Tim: you wouldn't like me before my coffee

Damian: that's so weird because I fucking hate you all- Everytime.

•

Jason: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR ME!!

Bruce: THAT'S MY OPINION!!

Dick: 👁️👄👁️

[hunterofartemis7]

Pt.15

*next morning*

Jason: *just trying to eat his breakfast*

Stephanie: *runs in with her laptop* y’all did an interview without me!?

Jason:…what?

Steph: *shows the interview that Raven and Damian did the day before* Well?!

Jason: well what?

Steph: y’all did an interview without me!

Jason: fuck we didn’t even want to do the interview! And it was mostly Raven and Damian, me and Dickybird were just there as backup

Steph: STILL! I wanted to be included

Jason: that’s a conversation for Raven and Damian. Now leave me to my breakfast *waves her off*

Steph:🙄 *walks off*

Jason: *sighs and keeps eating*

Damian: *comes down looking very tired*🥱

Jason: you look like crap

Damian: shut up *making coffee*

Dick: *comes downstairs* morning!

Jason: *waves*

Damian: *doesn’t acknowledge him*

Dick: you good little d?

Damian: I’m fine🥱

Jason: he’s dying

Dick: WHAT!?

Damian: no I’m not!

Jason: well you look like you are

Damian:🙄

Dick: I mean, you do look tired

Damian: I am tired

Jason: why? Rae keep you yep

Damian: sorta

Jason: I swear I was joking

Dick: how’d she keep you up?

Damian: she kept waking up from nightmares and then got really sad cause she wanted chicken nuggets and we didn’t have chicken nuggets

Jason: *cracks up*

Damian: shut up

Jason: do you got kept awake over some chicken nuggets?😂

Damian: *throws a knife near his head*

Jason: WHAT THE HELL!?

Damian: I said shut up

Jason: jackass!

Alfred: *walks in* language, Master Todd

Jason: sorry Alf

Damian: *in the corner trying to drink a whole pot of coffee*

Alfred:🤨

Dick: he didn’t sleep at all

Alfred: *takes the pot* you don’t need that much coffee

Damian: Drake drinks twice as much as this!

Alfred: that’s why he’s in timeout

Jason:🤣

Damian: you suck.

Raven: *comes into the kitchen*

Damian: *gets up* morning beloved

Raven: morning🥱 *snuggles into his chest*

Damian: *holds her*

Jason: can you two go be cute somewhere else? I’m trying to eat here

Damian: shut it, Todd

Raven: *mumbles* food..🥺

Damian: *kisses her forehead* go sit. I’ll make us breakfast

Raven: thank you *goes sit by Jason*

Jason: so all she has to do is give you puppy dog eyes for food, but when I ask for just a sandwich when I broke my legs, you told me to crawl and get it myself

Damian: yes.

Jason: your an ass😑

Damian: deal with it *makes him and Rae food*

Damian: enjoy beloved

Raven: thank you ☺️ *digs in*

Jason: where’s mine?

Damian: make it yourself *sits with raven and eats*

Jason: 🙄

[thesuperiorrobin]

𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫!𝐃𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐖𝐚𝐲𝐧𝐞 (𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤!)

Ft: his brothers; Alfred, and Bruce. Requested

Doesn’t stream a lot.

He comes and goes when ever he pleases.

Probably streams like 2 maybe 3 times a month.

Could be gone for long periods of time.

He’s sarcastic and people will find it funny

Most of his streams are mostly him showing his new pet he got or just streams of him painting.

His brothers would occasionally drop by to mess with him while he’s live

Mostly Jason

His fans loves to ask him questions and love it more when he answers them

His chat mostly consist of them trying to get with Bruce. He’s disgusting to say the least.

“How old is your father ;)?” “He’s to old for you. stay away from my father.”

“Would you ever want to meet your fans?” “No. Genuinely speaking I’m scared of almost all of you. You people are horrifying and horrendous and obviously for SPECIFIC REASON AND PEOPLE, I walk around with security”

“Let me Rizz you up😫” “what? What the hell is Rizz”

His fans ask him for advice.

Do not ask him for advice, really shitty at it.

“My parents are getting a divorce what do I do :(” “I don’t know go to therapy? Find help?”

“I don’t know who my dad is” “sucks. I didn’t know my father until I was twelve :/“

Sometimes he makes baking videos with Alfred’s

Everyone loves Alfred btw, and if you don’t you’re probably getting Doxxed. 🤷‍♀️

Sometimes his brother would take over his streams without him knowing, Tim hacked his account.

There’s a compilation on the internet of Damian cursing as his brother (and fighting) during his streams and or/ of them taking over.

Jason does most of it, actually no him and dick do. Dick tells everybody’s Damian business. And the chat eats it up every. Single. Time.

“Is Damian single? Asking for a friend?” “He is very much single. Actually he has a crush on someone from school”

“Should we be telling everyone this?” “Probably not”

Cue Damian coming in hot with his Katana and Jason quickly logging off.

I’m still stressing over going to school in 10 days. Also my counselor was sounding really sassy in our email conversation about me changing my PE 3 class to PE 1 🤨