#afterlife quotes

[timetravelsong]

𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.

excerpts from a book I’ll never write

[pratchettquotes]

Flames died. Sound died. Light died.

ANGHAMMARAD.

Anghammarad looked at his hands. There was nothing there except heat, furnace heat, blasting heat that nevertheless made the shapes of fingers.

ANGHAMMARAD, a hollow voice repeated.

"I Have Lost My Clay," said the golem.

YES, said Death. THAT IS STANDARD. YOU ARE DEAD. SMASHED. EXPLODED INTO A MILLION PIECES.

"Then Who Is This Doing The Listening?"

EVERYTHING THERE WAS ABOUT YOU THAT ISN'T CLAY.

"Do You Have A Command For Me?" said the remains of Anghammarad, standing up.

NOT NOW. YOU HAVE REACHED THE PLACE WHERE THERE ARE NO MORE ORDERS.

"What Shall I Do?"

I BELIEVE YOU HAVE FAILED TO UNDERSTAND MY LAST COMMENT.

Anghammarad sat down again. Apart from the fact that there was sand rather than ooze underfoot, this place reminded him of the abyssal plane.

GENERALLY PEOPLE LIKE TO MOVE ON, Death hinted. THEY LOOK FORWARD TO AN AFTERLIFE.

"I Will Stay Here, Please."

HERE? THERE'S NOTHING TO DO HERE, said Death.

"Yes, I Know," said the ghost of the golem. "It Is Perfect. I Am Free."

Terry Pratchett, Going Postal

[daddiesdrarryy]

Pansy: Did you hear, Ron? Blaise is planning on courting you properly now

Ron: Then he can admit failure already, because I’m not gonna fall for his tricks!

Draco: Be careful, Ron. When Blaise wants something, he always gets it

Pansy: And sleeps with it

Ron: Not me! He’s never getting in my trousers, I swear on my uncle Bilius’s grave!

*a week later*

Ron, cuddled by Blaise in his bed after they slept together: Well fuck

[sunbruiser]

gone fishing

[incorrect-riordanverse-quotes]

Will, after shadow travelling for the first time: That was like riding a rollercoaster backwards and blindfolded. Nico: You get used to it.

[demiboydemon]

King Rhoam: *arrives in the afterlife*

Zelda’s mom, Rauru, Sonia, and Urbosa:

[hejee]

something about love being the death of duty

[tiredcowboyy]

I like to imagine hosea and dutchs reunion in the afterlife is like marty and alex’s reunion in madagascar where they run to each other both seemingly excited but then dutch realises hosea looks kinda pissed and hosea just starts chasing him trying to beat the shit out of his stupid husband for what he did to their sons

[sodamnbored]

Post ToA Beach Day (Spoilers):

Percy: This has been a really nice day, all of us hanging out together again.

Leo, sighing: Yeah. I just wish Jason could be here too. I miss him.

Nico: It’s okay, Leo. He’s here in spirit.

Ghost Jason and Nico: *ghostly fist bump*

[whotfelsewantedtobelynnyx]

Definitely real deleted scene from the Agatha All Along Finale (it happened in my heart, okay?)

⚠️‼️Warning: SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT! ⚠️‼️

Billy, after tracking down Jen: So…that’s how it happened.

Jen, sipping her wine: Mmhm.

Billy: Aaaaaandddddd now Agatha’s haunting me. Somehow she’s become MORE annoying as a ghost.

Jen, finishing her drink: That sounds about right.

Billy: You’re…surprisingly not surprised by any of this. Did you figure it out already, or…?

Jen, pouring herself another glass: I had an inkling.

Ghostly Lilia, poking her head into the room: We helped.

Billy: *chokes*

Bonus:

Billy, eyeing Ghost! Lilia: So, uh…you said we, right? Where’s Alice?

Jen, sighing: She’s outside. She gets all poltergeist-y when she’s upset and my house’s electrical system can’t take it.

Ghost! Alice from out the window: YOU KILLED ME FOR MY POWER AND THEN DIDN’T EVEN USE IT?! YOU LITERALLY THREW MY LIFE AWAY FOR A KISS, YOU ASSHOLE OF A LESBIAN!

Ghost! Agatha, poking her head out the window: So…no hard feelings?

Ghost! Alice: *glaring at her*

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Jesper, when Kuwei won’t stop flirting with him: Fifteen. You’re fifteen

Kuwei: I’ll be sixteen in February

Jesper: It’s June!

[claudia-lioncourt]

what if we get one last lesdaughter moment before the horrors. what if he tells her he doesn’t regret her. what if.

[theskyisthelimit06]

"F1 is a serious sport.."

Literally what happens when you put a brazilian sports commentator and two drivers in a plane going places for the span of 7-9 months:

[wordsbyhisheart]

Your life is just a countdown to death, each day is bringing you closer to the end of the countdown. Once it’s over it’s over, no rewinds, no turning back. You face the rewards or punishments head on. Focus on doing good in this life. — wordsbyhisheart

[moonglademagazine]

for what is to hope endlessly,

to wish for everything and receive nothing,

to keep desiring with nothing to show for it.

it is the reason for so many madmen on the street,

thinking one day their luck will change,

even with their refusal to change their ways.

it is to submit the wrong answer without changing the equation,

it is to rewatch the same show hoping for a different ending.

it is to wallow in your misery and thinking it’ll be different tomorrow,

while living everyday like yesterday.

[hollaback--girl]

more incorrect quotes from ghostbusters because I see that you really liked the ones I uploaded before

•

Trevor: Are you busy?

Phoebe: Yes.

Trevor: Cool, listen to this.

•

Podcast, texting Gary: *sends a voice message*

Gary, texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent?

Podcast: No, don’t worry, just listen later.

*later*

Gary: *presses play*

Podcast's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-

•

Trevor: So, what’s Lucky's type?

Phoebe: Brown eyes, kind, oblivious, good sense of humor, cars lover.

Trevor: Sounds kind of like me. Too bad we’re just friends.

Phoebe: Did I mention oblivious?

•

Lucky: Where are you going?

Trevor: To get MYSELF a gift cause somebody didn't get me one!

Lucky: I told you I did! Its coming here on Friday!

Gary, knowing full well that Lucky got Trevor an engagement ring: *eating popcorn*

•

Podcast: What's your greatest fear?

Phoebe: Being forgotten.

Podcast: ...

Podcast: Damn, that's deep.

Podcast: Mine is the Kool Aid man, but I feel kinda stupid about it now...

•

Trevor: Oh, my God. Do you know what this is?

Gary: It’s a book. There’s a lot of those in here, this is a library.

•

Podcast: Look guys, I need help.

Lucky: Love help?

Phoebe: Financial help?

Gary: Emotional help?

Melody: Help moving a body?

*Everybody looks at Melody*

Melody: What?

•

Phoebe: This bloodline ends with me.

Lucky: That's the fanciest way I've ever heard someone say "I'm gay".

•

Gary: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look?

Callie: Like its slips on and off really easily.

Gary:

Callie: No, I didn't mean it like that-

Podcast: We know what you meant.

•

Trevor: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?

Melody: We're chopsticks!

Trevor: Well... that's cute!

Trevor: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?

Phoebe: No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.

•

Gary: What do you do when someone offers you drugs?

Lucky: Take them!

Melody: Punch them in the neck!

Callie: Say thank you!

Trevor: Offer them more drugs to assert dominance!

Gary: …

Gary: No.

•

Slimer would be disappointed in that last one 😔