#adult mental health

[skullchicken]

If you have achieved something, please remember to observe a mandatory period of basking in the warm glow of your achievement like a lizard on a stone, lest you teach your brain that effort is futile, actually, because it didn't get to enjoy its happy chemicals, so, naturally, nothing good ever comes of trying. (And no, avoiding punishment is not a reward!)

I recommend, like, 5% of basking time in relation to whatever time you invested into achieving the thing minimum. And if you can't make your own bask, friend-brought is fine (= tell your friends!).

[lesbianralzarek]

"life doesnt get better, you just get stronger" does NOT include ages 11-17. life does in fact just get better from there. those years are dogshit. like, you do get stronger but its mostly just a factor of not being 11-17 anymore. positive thinking helps but it doesnt fix whatevers going on at 15, you have to brute force through that one raw

[neurodivergenttales]

The ‘you’re mature for your age’ to sleeping with a bed full of plushies in your mid twenties pipeline is real

[reflect-within]

Unlock the profound link between childhood experiences and adult mental health. Delve into pivotal moments that shape psychological well-being. Explore insights and support through Reflect Within, a trusted mental health platform, to understand and heal from past experiences for a brighter future.

[uncnsrdsworld]

> apt update && apt dist-upgrade

It's time, time for me to actually take myself serious. Work towards security in myself, ensuring my brain to actually work. forcing my functionality, and acknowledging I know what I'm doing. Chasing away the phantom code in my kernel that breaks the signatures.

It's time that I can now begin in a healthier place. Being offline for almost a year. Letting it all build up inside of me over the past 10 years.

It's starting over, it's beginning anew, a reprieve from the past, and what I and only I can keep causing to come back. Only I can make this happen, only I am in control, only I can make it real. Only I can make it.

[markato1]

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[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[detentiontrack]

i think the people criticizing chappell roan right now don't understand how bipolar disorder works. chappell roan is diagnosed with bipolar 2. do you know how hard it is to keep it together with major life changes when you are constantly going through phases of hypomania/mania and depression? big life changes can trigger a catastrophic episode. i was hospitalized after moving or almost moving TWICE. you know what is a really big change? suddenly becoming as famous as she is in such a short period of time. bipolar can also cause paranoia and difficulty trusting people. you know what can trigger that? being constantly approached in public by people asking for hugs and pictures and literally FOLLOWING HER WHEREVER SHE GOES. SOME of yall are like "mental health matters <3" but as soon as someone puts down reasonable boundaries or prioritizes their mental health, y'all go after them. i feel that some of you guys just expect musicians and other artists to be emotionless content machines and call them selfish when they actually experience emotions and need boundaries in place. chappell roan is a human being before she is a musician. she does NOT owe you ANYTHING!! at this point the people whining just sound selfish and unsympathetic.

[gentleaffirmations]

You deserved parents who encouraged your dreams.

It wasn't your job to make their dreams come true for them, or to live the life they dreamed up for you.

Your life is yours.

[weirdplutoprince]

bunny comic

[autismwithoutpremium]

THIS

[morementalhealthplease]

[neurodivergenttales]

Shoutout to all the people who have been made to feel weird all their lives for being obsessive about their interests

You're allowed to love things intensely and be passionate about them

It's not strange or embarrassing - it shows that when you love, you love wholly and that is never something to feel ashamed about

[anarchywoofwoof]

my dear babies who grew up with undiagnosed adhd who are now medicated adults and still struggling, this ones for you.

let me give you a cute tip ok? ready?

you don't have to do things as fast as possible

ok i know that this is jarring to read, but stay with me. you may be having the realization at this very moment that every single task that you have ever undertaken in your life, your goal was to complete it as quickly as you possibly could. and maybe you're medicated now or maybe you aren't. but this has always been your philosophy.

this is not actually necessary and not how neurotypical people view things like tasks or responsibilities

a real life example of how this information has changed the way that i behave and has had a positive effect on my mental health:

i noticed that when getting ready to take my dog for a walk, my primary goal has always been to get the harness and leash on her and get out the door as quickly as i can. for no reason other than i was lead to believe as a kid that faster = efficient = better. however, there are other factors, such as: i sweat very easily and moving around at a fast pace trying to collect all of the things i need to rush out the door exacerbates this. these combination of factors results in me getting highly irritable and overstimulated.

i later realized that this is the way that i get ready to leave the house no matter what i am doing

now, when i am getting ready to take my dog for a walk, i purposefully do everything at half speed. i gather stuff slower. i move through the house slower. i put the harness on slower. i clip the leash slower. i open the door slower. i make a conscious effort to do everything almost in a way that feels like slow motion to me.

and you know what? applying this behavior to almost every single task or activity that i have to do results in me having a significant magnitude less anxiety than if i am in my usual "do this task as if you are racing against an invisible clock" state of mind.

the old saying "slow down to speed up" is quite poignant when it comes to dealing with neurodivergency, especially adhd. even if you're medicated, you may still be consistently making mistakes because you're probably still moving with a level of urgency that is unwarranted. you're not in a race. it's ok to do things using inefficient methods, especially if it is a benefit to your mental well-being.

[ionomycin]

My favorite pieces this year

[raining-at-ease]