#abusive brother

[traumatizedjaguar]

Two things you needed to hear today:

“You can’t be a good child to a bad parent.”

“You weren’t a bad child, you were reacting to your environment.”

[mime-rodeo]

“siblings hurt each other but at the end of the day, they've got each others' backs—”

no stop it.

there's a difference between playfully insulting or fighting with your sibling and intentionally hurting them.

there's a difference between playing a harmless prank on your sibling and genuinely terrorizing them.

there's a difference between smacking your sibling once and actually physically abusing them.

there's a difference between calling your sibling an idiot as a joke and calling them worthless and a burden and feeding on their insecurities.

please know the difference. sibling abuse is a very real issue and it's the type of abuse that is somehow least talked about. people think that it's normal, that it's just bickering.

and yes, often times, it is just bickering. but not always. if someone tells you that their sibling is being abusive or toxic or hurtful, please believe them.

anyone can be an abuser. and anyone can be abused.

[solarsystemvents]

Tips I don't often see for/in the runaway community.

Make sure to leave a note. Police will investigate your case much more if they suspect you are kidnapped. This is because they believe most teens will return on their own in a few days. They'll tell your parents how to track you if you took your phone and that's basically it, they'll let your case go cold.

People say take 100-500 dollars but in reality if you want to stay away for long term you need to take at the VERY least 1k+. Find random jobs you can do for extra cash ((mowing people's lawns, babysitting, etc)), be careful to only offer to strangers though.

Stock up on nonperishables ((foods that won't go bad)) BEFORE leaving. For example cereal, granola bars, etc. My school gives us free breakfast every morning and I'm collecting the cereal rather than eating it so I have a shit ton before I actually leave. My friends are helping too. And we have a "school cafe" where they sell coffee, snacks, gum, etc. Jerky and gum your best friend. Idk how many schools actually have little cafes like that but if yours does I recommend checking out what they have.

Don't stay with people you know for too long. If they get caught, even after you leave them, they can and will get into legal trouble. I'm not sure the harshness of their punishments for harboring runaways, and it may vary, but I do know it's illegal.

Don't Uber, hitchhike, etc. Even if you trust uber and stuff people, especially minors and people that are afab, often get kidnapped and or sex trafficked. Be careful.

If I find anymore I'll add those too, be safe and good luck.

*not all of the ab-se tags apply to me, I'm trying to reach everyone I can to help. and not all of the tags apply to everyone else either, and it is better to not assume

[oasisr]

I really believe that my entire family has NPD at this point. And, everyone needs therapy.

My brother borrowed my mom's car last night. This morning, our enabler mom and I went in the car to go get coffee.

I immediately noticed that the car stunk. It had a horrible smell.

I found red solo cups in the passenger seat, and mom found fast food bags in the back seat.

My brother had taken his daughters and his girlfriend to get hamburgers, but they left the half eaten food in the car all night. It started to rot and smell odorous.

I told my mom that it was not okay that he let the girls trash the car, and that they should never be drinking and driving.

Mom said it's not a big deal and we should just go get coffee.

I said, "Aren't you going to call him and tell him that it's wrong? Why don't you have him clean the car?"

She said that I'm weird for being upset and that it's none of my business because it's not my car.

Last time my brother borrowed the car, there was a bottle of vodka in the passenger seat.

He has had two DUIs, and has had his license revoked.

I don't even understand why she would want him to drive the car in the first place.

She kept telling me over and over to mind my own business, and that drinking and driving isn't a big deal because she threw the trash away.

I told her that she could have lost her car if he were to get pulled over, plus his teenaged daughters were in the car too! (He also lets his daughters drink and smoke weed. That's a whole other story.)

I admit that my anger took over and I lost it. I started yelling at my mom to listen to me, and to stop saying that it's okay for him to drink and drive, and leave garbage in the car.

She kept saying it's not a big deal. I started screaming at her. I just couldn't keep calm. I felt like she had no common sense or common decency to stand up for him.

I can't understand why no one in the family has to face any consequences. But, if I say I don't agree with something because it's morally or legally wrong, then I'm the bad person.

I've been crying and hyperventilating all day long because she just seems so lost. My entire family is lost. I don't even know what to do anymore.

[wastedchildhood]

bought my brother really expensive things for christmas and then he resumes to treat me like absolute shit. what was i fucking expecting

[1pcii]

I can't believe I'm being endeared to zo/suke as much as I am considering I generally dislike sasuke shipping as he tends to be used as nothing BUT a shipping vessel. but honestly an anti-government pirate/swordsman boyfriend would be so good for his whole deal in a vacume...

[aestophobia]

i think my brother might be abusive but i don't know i'm probably just being dramatic but i need advice

to preface this he's three years younger (he's almost 12 and i'm 15) than me and also has adhd and a few other things that might just be the reason he acts like this (that's what my parents always use as an excuse) but i don't know

my brother has always been "a troubled kid" he gets in trouble at school he gets suspended he just in general is not a good kid, to counter this i've always been good, i barely ever get in trouble, i've never been to the principles office, i get good grades whatever

i've never gotten along with my brother he's just always been really mean to me and a lot of the time when he does something to me i get the blame for it because i'm older so that's always been cause for bitterness towards him

(also i just want to add i do not blame my parents for any of his behavior i love them and they love me very much)

my brother has a way of ruining everything for me whether that's me having a nice moment without my mom or someone else he can't just let me be happy

he says a lot of things that he doesn't think are as bad as they are, he's frequently sexist to me (telling me to go back to the kitchen, make him a sandwich, whatever) he thinks it's a funny joke. he constance bashes my interests and things that make me happy and insults me and my friends

i'm also not the only one who doesn't like him, he's generally hated on my school bus and it's gotten to the point where people target me because of him sometimes he tries to embarrass me in public and is really rude to everyone because he thinks it's funny.

my parents both excuse his behavior all the time but for different reasons my father thinks it's just kids being kids boys being boys shit but my mom uses his adhd as an excuse saying that he can't help it and stuff. he also threatens to kill himself because he knows he can get away with anything that way even though i know he would never do it even though i can't say that because then i just seem like an awful person. i can't stand up for myself without seeming like the bad one

he does things to me that would absolutely not be acceptable for a parent to do to their child, he hits me knowing that i'm not strong enough to fight back he tries to punch me just so he can see me flinch and i don't always feel safe near him and he's threatened me with actual knives before.

i do not see him as my brother, i don't know how i can and i fully plan on going no contact with him once i'm older. my online friends that i've never even met before are more of family to me than he is and you know how friends will argue about whose sibling is the worst? all of my friends (all but one also has younger brothers) fully agree that mine is worse.

i just want a real sibling like i hear stories about and all my parents want is for me to get along with him and i'm so sorry i can't do that for him

i think i'm probably being dramatic but i literally cannot handle his cruelty and manipulation

[lyricreed]

Dude having an abusive older brother you used to admire and love and look up to is so weird cause like

I love you so much for raising me but that’s also the exact reason I resent you so much. You still brag about me being your best friend to your friends. All my friends hate you for everything you’ve done to me.

I cry at night remembering you screaming at me throughout my childhood. You’re the only person who can make me really, truly laugh. Nothing you say is funny anymore.

Every time you leave the house I hope you die and never come back. When you moved out to live with your now-ex-girlfriend I sobbed myself to sleep every night because I missed you so much. When you came to me to vent about your fears of parenthood I told you you’d be a good father and even though I didn’t believe it, I actually meant it.

I’ll never feel safe until you’re out of my life or out of yours. I had a dream about you dying the other night and cried so hard I couldn’t go back to sleep.

I still comfort you whenever you air your troubles and frustrations out to me, even though I was a child when you first started and I’m still so young now and I shouldn’t know how to help you. And I don’t. And you never listened to me like I always do for you.

You’re the reason I flinch so hard whenever my friends try to touch me. All I’ve ever wanted was a hug from you. Your touch makes me feel so unsafe and afraid it makes me sick.

I’ve been working my whole life to make you not mad anymore. Now I’m mad at you instead and I never want to feel angry again because of you.

I’m not a child anymore but thanks to you I’ll never grow up. I can’t tell if that’s what you wanted.

And without you I wouldn’t be who I am today and I’m still puzzling out if that’s a bad thing or not. You have dad’s eyes and I have grandma’s. We both have mom’s face.

And yet I only see you when I look in the mirror.

[bythewaygoose]

I just want to be at peace

[traumatizedjaguar]

My father is an extremely misogynistic, racist and LGBTphobic person. He was always advocating for women and girls getting raped, murdered and tended to think of gays as some otherworldly gross unnatural creatures as that's how he treated them. He is so deeply insecure he sees everyone as beneath him, especially vulnerable groups of people he hates on, and he always would argue when he was proven wrong; when he couldn't handle being wrong he's said before, "well idc if Im wrong because im still right." He also has the belief, stated in his own words, that because he went through abuse growing up that he has a right to abuse others now. Verbatim he said, “idc I was bullied a lot growing up I have a right to bully others now.” He is a grossly childish man who decided to repeat his childhood abuse and probably parental relationships with his wife and kids. He's stuck in his childhood abuse and by the time I was 15/16 I knew what my issues were, was very honest with myself and knew to work on generational trauma. I was older than a 50 year old man by the time I was 15/16.

[fawningvictim]

“you can take it” while im sobbing and screaming for them to stop

[wastedchildhood]

my family wants to kill me just for having a train of thought or an opinion

[screechwhisper]

He's a fucking psycho wtaf

[super-nova5045]

its always “we should beat up and kill rapists and abusers!” but the moment someone actually does you all turn on them

[duckysprouts]

big brother, season 2 episode 2

[spark-river]

Headcanon:

Sometimes the brothers fight with Mammon. Full on screaming and anger because they think he stole something or he actually did. While this can lead to physical fights, the brothers are not always looking for one. At these times they get especially upset when they raise their hands to get a point across and Mammon's first reaction is shielding his head as if about to be hit.

Levi isn't good with this kind of thing so he'll continue seething for a minute before storming off and hiding in his room. Now upset that his brother thought he'd hit him even though he wasn't planing on. He can't quite place his feelings but ends up leaving his room later on in the same day and subconsciously searches the house for Mammon. When he does find him he just ends up curled close to or even against him. Levi refuses to acknowledge what is happening, partially because he doesn't understand his own emotions.

Asmo doesn't have such a complicated reaction, he just gets upset because how can his brother think he'll ruin his pretty face?! Mammon will get reassured Asmo is not looking for a fight, even if Asmo's a bit incredulous about it.

Satan won't notice his reaction if he's in a fit of anger. Later on he'll silently remark to himself that Mammon's reaction was appropriate.

Lucifer will acknowledge Mammon's reaction, tell him he's not going to hit him and continue his lecture. He actively makes an effort to keep his hands down or clasp them behind or in front of his body.

Belphie is too lazy to properly yell.

Beel will immediately stop what he was saying and look like a kicked puppy. He hates when his brothers think he'll hurt them. He's most likely to hug Mammon to reassure him before continuing in a calmer manner. Beel is very aware of his build and how he's intimidating even if Mammon is the stronger one.