lyricreed

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I am not the divine masculine or the divine feminine I am the divine comedy and you will address me as such

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basketballs smell gross 

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tumblr bitch: liking creepypasta makes you a freak!

me: **growls really hard**

jeff: its ok theyre just jealous babe…

me: i know jeff, i know

slendy: **slaps my fat juicy ass**

me: NOT NOW SLENDY JEFF AND I ARE HAVING A MOMENT

slendy: youre so boring **murders a whole family**

me: **sighs**

police: **en route**

jeff: **the killer**

[lyricreed]

home

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Hermes: You're doing well, Ody! Odiseo: I'm doing it all!

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SHE COOKK ME

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It sucks that they got rid of every activity. It’s only phone in bed now. They got rid of everything else

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imagine if your boyfriend was like I can smell an ant. and started tracking

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odysseus and companionship

(based on the post below)

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(any time after the events of the vengeance saga & ithaca saga)

*under the ocean in poseidon's palace*

poseidon: *talking with amphitrite*

poseidon: i wouldn't wish that upon my worse enemy!

poseidon: *pauses and feels phantom pains from his old impalement wounds/scars*

poseidon: *eye twitching* ...unless of course...we're talking about my enemy, odysseus.

poseidon: *looking up at the ocean's surface from his underwater palace*

poseidon: fuck you odysseus, you know what you did!

amphitrite: ...

amphitrite: *sighs*

*meanwhile on ithaca*

odysseus: *yapping away with penelope whilst on a walk through the palace grounds*

odysseus: so then i said "cause i don't even have to kill you, i just have to avoid yo-"

odysseus: *violently sneezes*

penelope: ...

penelope: are you feeling unwell, my love?

odysseus: no i'm fine.

odysseus: i just get the feeling im being bad-mouthed...again

odysseus: *turns head and glares at the ocean*

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Something to think about regarding Anya

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when ur so bored you have no choice but to become the monster

“You’re going to call off that storm.”

Ughhh I’m so boreddddd

Kinda random but am I officially a digital artist now?? PLZ LET ME JOEN THE DARK SIDE IVE BEEN TRAINIGN FOR SO LING—

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"we found a ship with no crew"

Idk guys do you think they could've raided that ship for food and stuff and avoided the next 3 sagas because I doubt that ship was going through what Odysseus' crew was going through

[lyricreed]

osha compliant blowjob

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FedEx: shits on my box, stomps on my box, kicks it, dumps gasoline on it, throws one of my chickens into the back of the van UPS: whispers at my front door “is anyone home” as quietly as possible before leaving a “we missed you!” note, tries to gaslight me into thinking my address doesn’t exist USPS: sets my package down gently where it’s not visible from the road, knocks on the door and kisses me directly on the mouth