#bad reactions to a bad environment are super normal and it’s okay that you reacted Tumblr posts

[traumatizedjaguar]

Two things you needed to hear today:

“You can’t be a good child to a bad parent.”

“You weren’t a bad child, you were reacting to your environment.”

[geometricalien]

OKAY I finished Life is Strange True Colors and it's time to give my hot trash opinions that no one asked for :) (spoilers will be below the cut)

I avoided almost everything released about this game because I did not want any spoilers whatsoever and I think that served me well.

I also came in with an open mind, I gotta say I was weary since deck nine had all of the control and I didn’t particularly like before the storm that much it was fine though.

All that said True Colors was beautiful. It has excellent graphics, compelling characters and side plots for each character, the power system was new and cool. I wasn't sure how being an empath would translate but it worked well in mechanics, was epic, and suited the theme of not just the game but Alex.

I played for about 10 hours Thursday with some breaks to stretch and get food. So needless to say, I was having a great time.

It has excellent sets and even though the power mechanics are exactly the same each time it's still fresh and creative in how these emotions can shape the world around them.

This is just a personal nitpick nothing actually important, the town is a fictional Coloradan small town and as someone who grew up in a neighboring state with similar small town/mining/outdoorsy communities- or visiting them- the town buildings were fantastic! I loved main street, I've been in towns with that exact same style. But the flower bridge and the deer were just... a tinge over the top, it felt like you were trying to sell "Paradise" way too hard. But besides that I loved the towns vibe!

I felt... a little burnt out being able to play all of the chapters at once, I think part that made the lis community so strong was that it had time to build and react to the episodes together. It gave us time to theorize and make fancontent. Versus binge gaming and shot like a bullet into the air, done too quick. I don’t feel as connected to the characters because I’ve only been with them for 14 ish hours vs months

NOW THAT BEING SAID- the pacing was good, it gave us the reins being able to free roam the map at nearly all times and it never felt like we were being dragged down

Overall, True Colors is a great addition. Had amazing voice acting graphics, characters, and themes. I definitely recommend checking this game out

Spoilers now abound:

Going back to an earlier comment- almost all scenarios where you used Alex's power in depth were fresh and interesting. My favorites being Ethan, Charlotte, and Eleanor. I bring this up because Duckie's was the most dull- which you could say matches because he is normally the life of the party so... feeling empty or dull makes sense for him. But then Pike’s was also similarly lacking in environment, so it didn’t feel as fulfilling

I loved loved loved episode 3. The larping was so much fun and I was tickled with the turn based fighting. I especially loved when Ethan made the world come to life, my heart lifted in pure joy.

The two main romance interests are... interesting. Ryan's insight and caring nature drew me to him the instant we met while Steph sort of came off... as separated? But as we became friends with them both it became super hard to chose. And at the end seeing their reactions to the bomb drop showed so much characterization. Steph's ride or die and Ryan (in my playthrough) just had someone challenge his entire life view of course that's hard to take in within 30 seconds. I got that religious gay trauma, I get it.

This is where I feel spacing out the episodes could've also helped with our fondness of characters. After Ryan didn't believe me I didn't want to pursue him anymore, my affection was weakened

However I chose to forgive both Ryan and Jed despite feeling like I missed the character development to reasonably make that decision. I understand this entire game is shadow work for Alex and it is growing her emotional intelligence by miles but I think I would have preferred more sign postings from the game saying "hey bc of your choices you are growing" which wasn't really true because-

Alex was suppressing her sadness, fear, and anger from her traumatic youth. So in episode 5, reliving all of those moments were the chance to level up in emotional intelligence. It felt odd to learn exactly everything at the very end but again it's okay because she was suppressing just like Jed which made her able to understand his emotions and walk him through them

TALKING ABOUT THAT TALK WHO GOT GIFS??? I NEED TO SEE HER EYES GLOWING AND FLICKERING WITH COLOR

I loved the parallel/bookendings of chapter 1: Side A and chapter 5: Side B, I'm a sucker for that shit

It's obvious that alot of care and heart was put into this game, it has layers and the more you peel back the more it reveals thematically

Now I got to compare it to my biggest criticism of LiS and Before the Storm, and ultimately the reason why I love LiS2 more than either of them. Does your choices actually matter?

LiS? No. The game ended with an ultimatum that made all of your choices in the end not matter and LiS is sold as a "your choices actually matter" type of game so seeing that be a load of malarkey always puts a bad taste in my mouth

Lis:bts? No. It's a prequel. I can admire the idea of "life may be futile but make the most of it" while you can and that definitely encompasses Rachel's side of bts. But that doesn’t negate the fact that this is more a game with a straight plot than LiS

LiS2? YOU GOT 4 ENDINGS AND YOU CAN ONLY CHOSE 2 AND ITS NARROWED DOWN TO HOW YOU PLAYED THIS GAME- THATS WHAT I CALL A CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE/YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES

True Colors? I think TC lies somewhere between LiS2 and LiS in this aspect. Its definitely very railed, I think in every one you will get Jed to confess, so it depends on how you go about convincing him, romancing, and deciding your future to... well... decide your future. I can't fault it. It left it up to the player to decide and to not be screwed over by our previous choices (cough cough) and that is the crowd pleasing choice.

So, in the sense that it all feels very railed until the last 15 minutes when they spin us on an ice rink and say "freestyle baby"- it's fine. I'm not mad about it. But it does make me wonder what would've happened if we don't have any of the committee members on our side? Would we leave town effective immediately? Would the truth even have gotten out? Because if that's true... I would bump it up in the "does your choices matter?" 

You make choices and those choices have consequences, sometimes out of your control. That's what LiS2 perfected and what I want to see more in this franchise. 

[eunoiamaybe]

my “sort-of-complete” online classes and exams tips

This is a longer-than-usual post with tips for the 3 stages of online classes: focusing during an online class session, reviewing/studying for online classes, and preparing for online exams/ quizzes. So I decided to insert the “Read More” link to (a) not take up too much space on your dash, and (b) feel more confident in adding more tips as time goes on.

These are tips that I’ve compiled from my experience of taking online classes during my last 1.5 years at university. But having all of your courses moved online is so much more complicated. Since I’m currently doing an internship, I have tried my best to produce this post based on the comments of my friends IRL and on Tumblr (hence the “my”). However, I hope it can still be useful for you and many who were all abruptly put in this same situation.

So feel free to share your own tips and experience! I will probably go back to this once in a while to make some changes to it and add your tips. Good luck to everyone who is currently/ about to take online classes. You are almost there! 🍀 I believe in every single one of you!

~  Click away for them tips   ~

💻 DURING ONLINE CLASS SESSIONS:

- try to treat online classes the same as an in-person class, especially time-wise (set a specific time for each class and plan your own class schedule. even better, study for your classes at the same time they used to be held. this will create a sense of routine and trigger the brain's normal reactions to your usual class - which is to study)

- don’t be afraid to fix your plan/ schedule (aka don’t force yourself into one if it doesn’t work for you) (trials and errors, my friend. this applies to plans too. there’s no shame in not being able to keep up with the schedule you’ve made. if you’ve tried or if it hurts you mentally or physically, then that schedule is just not the one for you. everybody has their unique strengths and weaknesses. one’s perfect system might not suit another. finding a system that works for you takes time, patience, and courage. but it will be absolutely worth it)

- find a good spot with enough light and stable wifi (if you have multiple options, select the one that would make you most comfortable, most focused, and confident enough to take online tests/quizzes/exams at - create your “exam space” in advance to reduce the anxiety of tests and unfamiliarity)

- study at a desk, if possible (studying at a desk, with good posture, mimics the feeling of being in a classroom or the library. thus, it will create a sense of routine and help you focus better)  

- accommodate yourself (I’m all about making the best out of a bad situation, and this is one way to do it.  accommodate yourself, not just with comfort, but also with actual necessities that you cannot usually get in your usual classroom/library due to whatever reason. stress balls, stim toys, positivity cards, calming music/candles. comforting plushies. chewing gum. as long as it helps you focus better, it's on the table)

- get dressed (this will bring out that sense of structure and routine that you need. put on your normal outfits, uniforms and even perfume. trick your mind into being focused)

- minimize distractions (declutter your study space. put your phone out of reach. turn off notifications. close all other tabs on your browser. select non-distracting music/ sounds. don’t spam or pay attention to spams in your classes’ chatboxes. only bring along items that are absolutely vital to your focus)

- take notes, even if you can record your lessons and/or access the lessons later (it can either be digital notes or handwritten notes on paper - your call. this will force you to focus and prevent you from zoning out/ being distracted)

- be actively engaged in the lecture (if there are technical problems or if you have questions, chatbox away. this is also good practice for people with social anxiety too: the fact that you are in your home and behind the screen can make it easier for you to ask for help)

- if possible, put your teachers/profs on the big screen to create the illusion of being in a lecture (if your study spot has a TV/projector that can connect to your laptop and quality speakers, do it. it's more fun than you'd think. also super stimulating and kicks the boredom out of you too)

- if not, use headphones/ earphones (speakers can create a feeling of distance between the lecture and yourself. combined with unstable internet and/or monotonous voices of some instructors, this may result in your brain classifying your lecture as background noises and zone out. so use headphones or earphones with the appropriate volume for that optimal focus mode)

- give yourself breaks between classes (don't cram all your classes in one morning. but don't procrastinate either. time your breaks. look at something else besides a computer or phone screen while you’re on break too. maybe brew some tea/coffee for your next class or rearrange your notes from the previous one)

💻 REVIEWING FOR ONLINE CLASSES:

- make a schedule/ system - and be ready to change them (this is an elaboration of an earlier tip. your system doesn’t have to work perfectly right away. most of the time, you will have to make some kind of adjustments to it anyway. so take it easy. pay attention to how well you react/ adapt to the new schedule so that you can make necessary changes. and give yourself - especially your mind - some time to adapt to the schedule. don’t rush yourself or put too much pressure on being productive. remember to take care of your well-being too)

- it’s okay to give yourself some off-days (that’s the beauty of not having any physical or even abstract structure that forces you into an inescapable routine. Yes, I know this lack of structure sucks for a lot of us, especially for those who rely on external forces to keep themselves focused. But look on the bright side: now you don’t have to worry about missing classes or losing participation marks when you are unwell physically and mentally anymore)

- textbooks are your friends now (especially when your classes’ live-streams are just chaotic and hard to follow. or when the pre-recorded lectures aren’t loading properly and keeps lagging. practice speed reading. look for keywords and crucial information. take notes rather than highlighting everything. compare them to your lecture notes, your syllabus, or your friends’)

- take advantage of the online format’s availability + other resources (availability is here, baby! revisit lecture videos and podcasts as many times as you need to. check your email classes’ forums regularly for questions or announcements. re-listen to your lecture when you're cleaning or exercising. watch videos of Khan Academy or CrashCourse. look for online tutors. study at your own pace and in your own style. basically anything you wish you could do when your class was in-person)

- there’s no need to submit assignments early if it’s anxiety-inducing. but make a schedule/ tracking system/ set alarms to avoid forgetting to turn them in (take your time to double-check or edit your work - as long as the submission box is still open, of course. set aside about an hour or two before the deadline for submission to avoid any technical difficulties. and remember to start working on them early so that you don’t have to shorten that window of time and have more time for double-checking)

- don't be afraid to email the profs/teachers (if possible, compile your questions into a list. be as specific as you can about your concerns. put a subject for your email to reduces the chance of your email getting lost in your instructors' inbox.)

- reward yourself (don't stress yourself out by rewarding big accomplishments. reward small victories. reward baby steps. reward effort. you'll get things done eventually)

- take time to know your learning style (when are you most focused? do you like taking digital notes or do you prefer pen and paper? are you a visual or an auditory learner? do you like moving around while studying? what drinks or scents or sounds keep you going? you don't have to stick to your usual study methods or an online/paperless one now that you are studying in your own room)

- listen to your mind and body (it’s okay to feel a bit lost) (from my own experience, times that are without structure like nowadays is when most of us fall into this spiraling downfall of unhealthy sleep schedules, lethargy, and loss of purpose. so please take care of your mental and physical well-being during this very, very weird time. keep yourself active. re-ignite old interests/ hobbies. connect with people you love. give yourself some love)

- and more tips on productivity at home in my last post right here

💻 PREPARING FOR ONLINE EXAMS / QUIZZES:

- make a list of all the online exams and final assignment due dates (this will help you keep track of and stay on top of them due dates. from that list, trace backward to make a review or study plan to prepare for the tests and work on the assignments. if there are any time conflicts, especially for those who are now living in a different timezone from their schools or colleges, email the instructors to seek solutions or alternative options)

- again, find a good spot with good wifi, good lighting, and a desk (if possible, try to recreate your ideal exam environment as closely as you can while studying and reviewing for the exams. this can reduce the anxiety of tests and/or unfamiliarity)

- be prepared for technical difficulties (especially mentally, so that you don’t plan out a course of action to take if they ever arise. draft an email template. research in advance the contacts of people whom you can report to - IT personnel, your instructors, student office, etc.)

- bring everything you need to the exams - but no distractions (like mentioned earlier, if you need any special accommodations that are considered "unacceptable" in an in-person exam/quiz, now it's the time to bring them along - you’re in charge of your test space now, so make it as comfortable and accomodating as you want)

- plan your desk set-up prior to your exams (so many extra items. still so little desk space. therefore, plan ahead so your desk does not turn into a mess when you take your exams. plan where you want to put your notes, textbooks, calculators or scrap paper. think about how much use you’re gonna get out of each item and place them within or slightly-out-of reach accordingly. charge your laptop. sharpen your pencils. have your backup stationery handy. lay out everything you need onto your desk the night before your tests. this can create a feeling of preparedness and thus, reduce anxiety as well)

- make cheatsheets (the goals when making them are simple: (1) get you to rewrite your notes for that good memorization; (2) condense your information and find a connection between them for a thorough understanding of the materials; (3) reduce the time you use to flip through your notebooks or textbooks or google for information during the actual tests)

- time yourself with mock exams (if you are given mock exams to practice with, do them, with a timer. this will help you familiarize yourself with the stress of being timed, thus reducing your anxiety during the actual tests)

- get enough sleep and eat properly (even if the exams or quizzes are online, they are still, at their core, tests. and tests are always stressful and energy-consuming. so take care of both your physical and mental health, especially during the week leading up to your exams)

[sweetcici-123]

Meeting Like This Chapter 2

Luz groaned as she felt her body suddenly being shaken in place. Her eyes slowly opened and she realized she was looking back at the same people from earlier. That seemed to be all it took to make her wake up from whatever sleep she was just in. She looked around in fear and complete surprise to find herself in a completely environment that definitely was not her royal carriage.

"What did you do to me!" She yelled and the lady looked annoyed while the fuzzy black thing ran behind her legs when she screamed.

"Eda! Make her stop yelling!" He yelled back which kinda took away the point but the lady raised both of her hands.

"Relax both of you. Princess, look at yourself, you aren't tied up or anything, we just want to have a simple talk." After hearing this Luz actually did look down at herself and noticed that the weird lady was telling the truth. She took a deep breath in and moved her limbs just to make sure they were still working, and to her luck they were!

"Then... what did you do to me?" She asked a lot more calm this time around and lady looked at the black thing that was still behind her. She waved her hand and it stepped forward before reaching in it's pouch and pulling something out. Instinctively Luz closed her eyes and curled up but after a few seconds she heard another sigh.

"Kid, open your eyes." She did and she noticed the black thing had some weird dust like substance in his hands.

"What is it?" She asked while slowly reaching her hand out to touch it.

"It's sleepy powder! Makes anyone we pour it on instantly fall asleep! Makes heists super easy!" The black thing seemed pretty proud of himself, but instantly Luz pulled her hand away.

"But... but that's magic!" She yelled in surprise and the lady walked over to a long chair that was a little bit to the side of hers. In front of her was a cauldron like ones she used to see in picture books that evil witches would use. The lady didn't look at her before responding.

"Yep."

"But that's against the law!"

"Listen kid, the only reason magic is against the law is cause the people in charge are afraid that they can't control it. It's not evil, dark, or dangerous. It's the exact same thing as a weapon. Don't your knights and guards use weapons? The weapons aren't bad, but the people who control them can use them for bad reasons." The lady started adding things into the cauldron and Luz couldn't help but think about what she said.

Well in a certain way it did make sense, but she couldn't help but feel skeptical. How can you just question what you've been told all your life just because one person says so. Is she supposed to just call her mom a liar now? What would she gain from lying to her?

Then she started thinking about Amity. She couldn't help it, she was thinking about guards and knights so of course she would be the first person to come to mind. Luz could never see her as evil or doing anything bad in the first place... well maybe when they were younger but definitely not anymore.

"But weapons can't like... control people." Luz said slowly while thinking back to the witches and wizards from children books. The lady and the black thing stared at her for a moment before they busted out laughing.

"Magic can't control people!" The black thing yelled while still laughing.

"But in the stories you can!"

The older lady was still laughing and it took her a few more seconds before she could actually speak. "That's in your stories. They want magic to seem as bad as possible, even if they have to make stuff up."

"Then... are curses fake too?" Luz couldn't help but notice how the lady's hand stopped stirring the cauldron for a few seconds before she continued.

"Nah, those are all too real kid." She sighed before looking back at her and shrugging.

"But it's nothing for you to worry about, you'll be back to your old life soon enough without any memories of this." She said while adding something else.

"W-wait, what do you mean?" Luz's eyes widened again as she looked around frantically for some kind of trap or anything that might knock her out to cause memory loss.

"You've seen our faces. We can't just let you go free or you might report us."

"I wouldn't! Please don't hurt me!"

"Kid calm down. I've been working on a forgetting potion, but it takes some time. You'll drink it and return back to your castle without remembering any of this. We don't hurt people." She sounded offended at the thought and Luz slightly relaxed but was still a bit nervous.

"How much will I forget?" She looked back at the cauldron which the lady was now stirring again.

"Ehh, not too much. At most you might forget being in that carriage."

When she brought that up Luz immediately thought back to the reform school. If she went back that's where she would have to go. She sighed and covered her face in her hands.

"Um, is she okay?" The black thing asked while poking her leg.

"Yes, I'm fine. I just... am thinking is all. But besides that." She removed her hands and looked down at the black thing. "What are you?" She asked cautiously and the fuzzball's eyes widened and he let out a small squeal. The lady groaned from her chair right before the black thing ran across the room and pulled out a stool and then dragged it all the way in front of Luz.

She watched him and decided not to interrupt while he looked so excited. When it was in front of her he then climbed it and posed.

"I am the King of Demons! I have an army that follows my every beck and call, and I put fear in the hearts of all humans!" At his claims the lady scoffed.

"Your army is a bunch of stuffed animals."

"So what!"

Luz couldn't help but giggle. Who could be afraid of him when he was this adorable. "Well King of Demons, I think you're too cute to strike fear in my heart."

"Meh!" He yelled and turned back to her. "What do you mean! I'm not cute!"

"You're the cutest little thing!"

"No I am not!" He stomped his foot on the stool and Luz couldn't help but move closer to him, but he didn't notice.

"You are!"

"I'm not!" She moved even closer.

"You are!"

"I'm not!" She didn't give him time to react before she pulled him into her arms and hugged him tightly.

"You are! You are!" As she hugged him he started squirming and trying to get away.

"Eda! Eda! Help me! She's trying to squeeze me to death!"

The lady sighed, "Kid as entertaining as that was, do you mind letting him go?" She asked and Luz pouted but still let him go. King ran over to the chair the lady was in and sat down next to her.

"Your arms are a death trap!" He pointed an accusing claw at her before turning his head away from her. She couldn't help but laugh again before she then looked back at the lady.

"So your name is Eda?" She asked curiously.

"Yeah."

"Are you a witch?" She asked and the lady looked at her and then down at her cauldron, then back at her. Luz didn't say anything as she waited for an answer, and after about 20 seconds Eda decided that she was slow and groaned.

"Yes, I am."

"How did you learn magic?"

"No we are not doing this. How about you and King go make something in the kitchen, just let me work in peace." She pointed in the direction of the kitchen. King eagerly scampered off the chair and into the kitchen and Luz grinned at the idea of working with the little cute demon.

"No problem Miss Eda!" She followed right behind King and looked around the unfamiliar space. "So what are we making cooking buddy?"

"Obviously we're making scones!"

"Well then! Let's get to work!"

—————

"Hey Miss Eda, we finished the scones. King was eating them up so I made sure to save you a few." Luz said while holding out the tray to her. Eda looked at her for a moment before shaking her head.

"I might eat 'em later, I'm trying to finish this potion before nightfall." She said and Luz turned her head to look out of one of the windows.

"It's a little late for that." She said slowly, not wanting to anger the older woman. Eda looked too before she groaned and threw her hands up. "Of course! This always potion takes forever. I hate making it." She took one of the scones off the tray and stuffed it in her mouth.

Luz slowly sat next to her and looked in the cauldron. "Why does it take so long?" She asked then looked back at her.

"It's because the ingredients are really exotic and need some time to settle together. They're from really different regions of the world and..." she stopped and leaned back. "You probably don't wanna hear all this."

Luz didn't hesitate to shake her head. "No, no! I do! Please continue."

"Well, they're from very different regions of the world and like I said they need some time to actually settle together. And certain ingredients need to settle before you can add others because there could be some very... interesting reactions when it's not done correctly. So it takes a lot of time."

"Oh, okay." Luz sighed and leaned back as well on the chair.

"You should probably get some sleep, but by the time you wake up your life should be back to normal." Eda leaned forward to look back in the cauldron trying to gauge how much more time it would take.

"I... can you wake me up before you give me the potion?"

"I probably shouldn't."

"Please?"

"Fine. But only a few minutes, and we'll have to use the sleeping powder on you again."

"Thank you." Luz then closed her eyes and let the noises of Eda making the potion lull her to sleep.

[og-danny-dorito]

Bucky Barnes SFW Headcanons

a new hyperfixation to avoid my growing anxiety with my personal life? yall already know whats up, and i'm feeling angsty so brace yourself

PUBLISHED :  2 - 17 - 20

S F W : 

- to start off of a positive and happy note (jk you already know thats not how it works) its very likely that upon first meeting, any touch directed towards him is met with an alarmed grunt and/or a slap of your hand away

- anything unsolicited makes him nervous and uncomfortable, so if you really do want to pat his shoulder or hug him or something like that you'd have to ask if it's okay first. now it's pretty easy to see the reasoning behind this but for those doubting it i will explain

- big man has been trained to kill in hand to hand combat and advanced weaponry and countless other things, meaning that he's pretty much wired by this point to have a gut reaction that automatically goes to the fight or flight instinct. it doesn't make logical sense that he wouldn't get uncomfortable and jumpy at loud noises and unsolicited touching since his ptsd has accumulated over the years to MAKE him react like that. he doesn't want to accidentally punch you in the teeth

- like yeah he's all tough and shit and could break the a dude’s neck if he really tried, but the issue is that once his walls are broken down he's sort of akin to that of a regulated killing machine having to redo its wiring to be “normal” again. the transition itself would be traumatic, but the process of initiating it would be even more difficult

- so that means that in the first few months of his recovery, he probably would do a lot of absent-minded staring and just long spells of silence where he just doesn't do anything. it's sort of like a reloading point for his brain, and he starts to pick up the habit of daydreaming a lot. sometimes you'll have to say his name a few times to snap him out of it, but when he does come to he looks a little embarrassed

- it's not that easy to elicit an emotional reaction out of him. you'd have to be fairly close with him to actually get most responses out of him that are more than a word long, and so thus starts my favorite trope; hard depressed kill man falls for person who just Keeps Trying

- it's not that easy to get under his skin, but meeting him somewhere normally and constantly talking to him will probably start to make him feel more encouraged to speak in the sense of making normal conversation

- he's a little awkward so in this case patience goes a long way (as does with pretty much everything with him). it gets to the point where after a month or so he may feel weird if he doesn't talk to you at that specific time of the day. if he's grown that fond of you he'll even go out of his way to ask a few people where you are

- part of him hates getting this attached for a number of reasons. there's that nagging feeling in the back of his mind that his environment is temporary and getting attached to the things and people there will hurt him more than he'd like. while he knows that it's not temporary, that he's not leaving anytime soon and probably won't for a while, it all goes back to the killing machine thing

- when he was under hydra’s control, the only thing that was certain was the base he resided in and it's hard to come out of a state of mind where the only thing you know to be continuous is your continued existence as a tool. the place itself brings back horrible memories, but you get what i mean

- so initially he may resist conversation for that very reason

- he tends to pick up on details more than anything, and most of your smaller traits tend to make him quickly used to you. like for instance, if you're prone to pursuing your lips and narrowing your eyes at something odd you've heard or seen, he might find it cute mentally and then immediately correct himself for it. if you tend to snort a little and roll your eyes when you laugh, he's going to notice that and MAYBE try to pay more attention when something funny is said to hear it again

- i would generally think that he doesn't really have much a type or preference at all. in fact, i'm pretty sure the only thing he seemed consciously aware of that he likes in a partner is ability to understand. cause if you can't forgive him for the things he's done and see why he does what he does now, he can't bring himself to feel like he needs to go through all of his self hatred and doubt more intensely than he already is

- he probably is asexual as well but that's sort of iffy considering he's canon been in sexual relationships so that's a maybe. but he's definitely demiromantic. it's not that easy for him to find people attractive anymore. when he starts to get to know you better he starts feeling some sort of way and picking up on MORE details that you may not even notice yourself

- bucky is also incredibly skilled at remembering things you might've said a month ago and completely forgot about. some find this off putting and that's understandable, but when it comes down to it, its a product of sorta okay memory

- “My cousin almost flipped his car over this week.”

- “Phillipe?”

- “Uh, yeah. How did you...?”

- “You mentioned him two weeks ago... when he almost fell of your roof the week before.”

- “I did?”

- remembers dates, names, eye colors, and a multitude of other things, so sometimes he'll just mention something important you may have forgotten and pretend like he definitely wasn't paying too much attention to you. it's surprising how good his memory is even though he can't remember any of his past. so this most likely means that he has issues with remembering events and how they happened, but not the details of them. like how you can remember your shirt color a few week s back but not what you did while wearing that shirt

- and on that note, he kinda shuts down if he gets a weird flashback in the middle of something. they're mostly triggered by smells and sounds, but sometimes if he sees something while he's walking down the street he'll just stop and stare at it. it's best just to stop and stare at it with him, or alternatively if you don't want stares, act like you're taking a picture. but don't talk to him while it's happening cause it'll interrupt the train of thought and derail him completely

- he tends to talk a lot about things if he's grown very invested in them (he's very good at keeping focus). if you're out walking together or just sitting down he might stare and absentmindedly reach out to touch you before stopping himself at the last minute. gently grabbing his hand and placing it wherever he wanted to touch makes him flustered every time. that and hes super soft but is afraid to be vulnerable around anyone

- just gently grabbing his hand makes him all mushy, and it’s more often than not that he finds himself weak when someone shows pretty much any form of affection or endearment towards him

- probably not into pda though, not that much. he will hold your hand if you want to, but don’t expect to like sit in his lap or like straight upstart kissing in public cause any attention in a public setting makes him nervous

- really likes a kind of homey s/o. someone who likes to cook or bake or whatever makes him feel a little bit like he doesn't have to worry about something for a while. like if he comes home and dinner is just waiting on the table for him or you’ve already drawn a bath for him and/or made the bed or whatever, he literally appreciates that above pretty much anything else

- love language is most likely acts of service. hes not very good with words unless he like thinks it out beforehand, but pretty much buys you gifts all the time because he likes seeing you light up when you see them. he does try to spend as much time as he can with you but either anxiety gets the best of him or hes literally too busy, and so it ends up being more distant with him coming over a few times during the week, even if you live together. and we already know the deal with physical touch so im not gonna restate my strong belief in “big man has trauma no touch big man unless A S K”

- but a lot of the things he does are situational. one day he may be very down to be super affectionate and the other he’ll be painfully distant, but the main issue with all of it is that hes very very bad at communication

- this poses an issue for a number of reasons, but his responses and reactions are more physical than anything. so for instance, if hes uncomfortable with something he’ll start to shift and stare and be very tense the whole time it’s occurring, or if he’s feeling a bit more sad or depressed he’ll isolate himself and consistently stand slouched or look as if he hasn't gotten enough sleep. it’s mostly body language, but after a while he’ll feel safe enough to tell you how he feels about certain things

- this takes a while to actually happen, but when it does he manages to just,,, say things that are on his mind. like you’ll be reading or scrolling through your phone or whatever and he’ll randomly be like “The table has a lot of scratches on it.” it’s just observations he has, but usually it translates to him wanting to change the stated fact. best thing to do is just to roll with it, since hes practically learning how to communicate again and he’s picking up on things socially

- now let's get to the “a little fluffy” and “kinda-already-known” shit, shall we?

-  miscellaneous headcanons;

gets jealous pretty easily in the early stages of your relationship, but only ever indicates this by staring the person in question down and refusing to admit to it later

likes having his hair put up into cool hairstyles and likes colored rubber bands (or hair ties if youre not where i'm from). seriously, he may loose his shit if you just like put cool braids in his hair one day like hes a viking or whatever

kind of tone deaf but his singing is more of like this raspy and slightly more “Misty Mountains” vocals sounding

is touch sensitive, so even doing something as small as like rubbing your thumb on his arm makes his hair raise on end

doesn't like his metal arm at all and quite obviously wears long sleeves all the time to hide it, but occasionally wears short sleeves when he's feeling less insecure

oh, super insecure btw and THATS why he feels all mushy when someone is kind to him because he KNOWS he's a freak and that he's weird but you're not still being sweet??? too pure, must protect

gives great hugs since he practically smothers anyone he meets with them, but is also basically a walking heater

is terrified of the idea of taking care of children or just anything weaker than him, but is good with them since they always hang on his arms and hold his legs when he walks

super strong

likes sweets a whole lot, specifically fruity sweets like apple pie or peach cobbler. never bring those wallmart cakes or whatever near him cause it'll be gone in like an hour flat unless you tell him to leave you some

- in conclusion, he needs therapy and probably won't be very responsive when he's not sure what to do. it doesn't mean he loves you any less, but he may have a hard time communicating it to you. all he really needs is some patience and a bit of understanding, and he'll get better with the whole s/o thing soon enough. cause you mean the world to him, and he doesn't want anyone or anything to make you feel like less than that

[doctorstrangeaskblog]

Body Language and Facial Expression Analysis: Tony Stark meets Doctor Strange

Let’s use some technical aspects to deduce what Tony, Pepper, Bruce and Stephen were thinking and how and why they reacted the way they did. First, watch the scene and then we’ll discuss bit by bit.

Stephen has in general a neutral expression. His lower eyelid muscle is a little bit tense but it’s because they are outside, his skin is white and his eyes are light gray, so there’s the sun factor. (if his lower eyelids were normal it could mean he recorded the scene in a studio and then the outside was “photo-shopped” into the image, but that’s not the case, they recorded the scene outside indeed.). Despite the tense situation, Stephen is shown to be capable of controlling his emotions. Of course he’s scared and tense, but at the moment, he’s cool, he’s calm, his voice is normal. (Check the video.) He’s also looking at Tony directly, he’s not covering himself with hands or arms, he’s not biting his lips. Stephen is being friendly and formal at the same time.

However, something interesting happens. When Stephen says “Tony Stark, I need you to come with me.”, Tony HAS NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL STEPHEN IS. Stephen is a good guy, yes, but Tony and Pepper have no idea, he could be a new villain, a threat, and to make things worse, Tony and Pepper were talking about it just the moment before: the need of fight, the need of danger etc. Let’s start with Tony. His eyebrows are contracted, his lips’ muscle is tense towards the external sides and his eyes are wide open, his lips are tense and parted: that’s fear. Tony is afraid of Stephen, he’s basically 99% sure Strange is a threat and he starts panicking VERY fast. The first thing he does is to hold Pepper’s shoulder, seeking for stability. He knows Pepper is the stability of their relationship, practically and emotionally, so she’s the first thing he reaches for. Also, of course he wants to protect her, however, he’s in shock, his legs are frozen, his arms are tense, he doesn’t even step in front of her or anything, so we can deduce Tony touching her is more of him seeking emotional stability, since he doesn’t know what’s coming next. About Pepper: Her raised brow’s muscle shows surprise and her lower lips’ muscle shows BAD surprise, she’s also 99% sure Strange is trouble (and he is somehow, he’s not the villain but he brings bad news anyway). She’s not contracting her eyebrows, meaning she’s not aggressive. This shows how Tony tends to react more aggressively when he’s scared while Pepper reacts more “ready to run” when she’s scared (that’s the most rational reaction, specially because we have to consider she was the one who killed the last 2 villains of Iron Man 1 and Iron Man 2, so yes, she knows when and how to be aggressive while Tony just reacts aggressive).

The next thing Pepper does is to hold Tony’s arm, for basically the same reason, she’s scared and she’s feeling safer when she holds him. Also, she also fears for him, she knows Stephen wants Tony, not her, so her action is more like trying to prevent him to go.

Stephen then realizes how silly he was. Strange forgot to tell Tony he’s an ally, not an enemy kidnapping him. Stephen raises his eyebrows, a sign of surprise, and he breathes in, meaning he noticed his stupidity, he forgot to show a sign he’s a good guy, not a bad guy. The act of someone closing their eyes without a physical reason (light, debris, dust, etc.) normally means they’re refusing to see what just happened or what they just thought, and in this case, it’s about him forgetting to properly introduce himself and what the hell he’s doing there. What can we assume from this? We can assume something obvious that actually isn’t something that obvious. Stephen ALREADY IS FAMILIAR WITH TONY while Tony clearly isn’t familiar with Stephen. Tony is a celebrity, he even saved Stephen when he saved New York, yes, but still, we know by the Infinity War prelude comics that Stephen has a mirror and he can see people through it, so we can assume Stephen peeked Tony’s life, therefore, Tony isn’t a stranger to Stephen, in his own perception.

When Stephen congratulates Tony for the wedding, Stephen gives him the green sign that he’s an ally, not an enemy, and then Tony’s fear expression becomes more like a WTF expression, he narrows his eyes (that were super wide before). His lips contracted and expanded still show he’s scared, but he’s less scared, and his forehead still keeps his aggressiveness, due to fear. Tony is scared and what does he do? He jokes. “You’re selling tickets or something?” Of course Stephen isn’t selling tickets and Tony knows, however, making the situation look ordinary, stupid and funny is a way for him to calm himself down.

Stephen then proceeds to explain their reality is in danger because of Thanos and we know the story. Stephen still has his same neutral, calm expression, however, he looks down, and his face also moves down a little. Why? When someone moves their face down, normally it means shame. It also could be someone else’s shame (when a friend does that super stupid joke etc. and you’re ashamed for them) or when someone else lets you down, but in this situation, Stephen is ashamed of himself. Stephen is the one supposed to protect our reality, and he’s admitting he can’t do it alone, nor with the other Mystic Arts Masters. He knows he can’t do it, and he’s telling Tony, a person he admires (we saw that in the other analysis), he isn’t capable of executing his own role. Of course it’s not Stephen’s fault, specially considering the huge crisis the Masters of the Mystic Arts went through because of Kaecilius and the Zealots, but still, Strange’s pride is big and he’s clearly hurt/ashamed while admitting he needs Tony and any help he can get. In fact, Strange’s plan was to assemble everyone he could, the stones, everything, but they got attacked before Tony could call Steve.

Pepper and Tony are rigid and super tense here. Tony demands information, he’s not going with Strange until he knows what’s going on, and that’s when Bruce shows up. Tony still wants to keep the control, despite just witnessing that Strange has powers, and relevant ones (open a portal and come out of nowhere is a very powerful thing). Tony still wants to control everything, specially now that he knows Stephen isn’t a threat.

Bruce shows up, he doesn’t even smile after seeing Tony after so long because of how tense and worried he is. His eyebrows are tense, but he’s not angry, he’s just tense, worried, because he knows what Thanos is capable of.

When Tony sees Bruce, his lips’ muscle starts pointing downwards, it’s sadness. Seeing Bruce after so long awakens emotions in Tony, but he’s still tense (his eyebrows). Pepper by the other hand, is less tense than Tony, we can see her lips moving upwards, she’s happy to know Bruce is alive and okay, her eyebrows move up in surprise, and it’s a good surprise. Pepper and Tony slowly let go of each other, their environment is getting safer.

Bruce hugs Tony, Tony hugs him with both hands, open hands, he’s fully accepting Bruce in his arms, and then he looks at Pepper to see her reaction. From silly to important situations, we tend to look at people we care the most to see their reaction, to get their feedback and when there’s danger, to see how they’re doing, if they’re okay, etc. In this case, Tony looks at Pepper, and it’s mutual, she looks at him. The moment Tony looks at Pepper, he stops frowning, meaning his reactive aggressiveness is negative towards her (his aggression is selective towards Strange and towards the situation itself, but not towards Pepper). Pepper’s eyebrows’ muscles move upwards while inclined, forming a curve, that means CONCERN, and a bit of sadness, considering she’s seeing Bruce is not 100% okay as she thought he was, and that explains her upper eyebrows, it means SURPRISE, again.

Pepper keeps eyes contact with Tony and then, when Tony looks at Stephen, she looks at Bruce, to check if he’s okay or how bad he is (emotionally). When Tony looks at Stephen, the frown in his eyebrows appears again, he’s still defensive against Stephen, his eyes are wide, he’s still scared, he doesn’t trust Stephen, but Bruce does, so he’ll give it a try. His lips are moved downwards, meaning he’s sad, his eyes are wetter than before, so indeed, there are a lot of emotions colliding inside Tony and if he were alone, he probably would be having an anxiety attack. Pepper’s hand moves to grab Tony’s arm, she knows Tony is considering going and she doesn’t want him to go because she doesn’t want to lose him. Again.

[myeczemaexperience]

Some Super Helpful Things I've Learned Dealing With Eczema

1) It is 99% what you are eating. The best bet for improving your skin is doing something called the ELIMINATION DIET. Essentially you cannot eat processed foods. In short : avoid dairy, sugar, gluten, coffee, for ANYTHING that is processed. 
2) A lot of foods that are even healthy, are high level histamine foods. These include :
-Alcohol 
-Pickled/Canned Foods
-Smoked meats
-Walnuts, cashews
-Beans
-Chocolate 
-Turkey
-Spinach
When you have a histamine intolerance, like many with eczema, and you’re eating these foods, you make it worse. We calm our skin reactions with ANTI-HISTAMINE products like creams, medications, the best way to help is to eat foods that are ANTI-HISTAMINE: 
-Onions
-Garlic
-Basil
- Chamomile
-Peppermint
-Ginger
-Tumeric
-Apples
-Pomegranate 
-Peaches 
3) Notice when you’re body is reacting! keep track of EVERYTHING you eat. It sometimes isn’t an IMMEDIATE reaction. Most of the time, it is a 2 day late reaction. If you find yourself with a flare up, it is most likely what you ate 2 days beforehand. 
4) I have found most of my allergies and sensitivities regarding foods and for me personally that includes 
-DAIRY
-SOY
-EGGS
-CASHEWS
-GELATIN
-BEEF
-COCONUT
I would recommend seeing the most common food allergies and avoiding those altogether. 
5) As for skin products, AVOID lotions. Nothing scented, nothing with parabens. I find I have bad results using popular brands such as Aveeno, Cetaphil, basically anything u find at a drugstore. They may have “eczema” lines, like Aveeno does, but they contain still a lot of irritants. The best thing I recommended is using all natural products that have very few ingredients. Use 100% oils. 
CALENDULA products help skin. I use Weleda Calendula Baby products and they don’t burn. I recommend always using baby products because there’s a better chance of them being easier on your skin. I also stopped wearing makeup so that I don’t risk irritating my skin any further. It’s best to avoid things you aren’t 10% sure are okay for your skin, also it’s giving your skin a BREAK. 
6) Same with hair products. Look for natural, paraben free shampoos. I use CALIFORNIA BABY shampoo. They have different kinds, like oatmeal and even gluten free. 
7) Pay attention to cleaning products used in your environments. “Planet 2x” laundry detergent is really good, I use a detergent safe for babies, but it still probably isn’t as good as “Planet 2x” brand. If you use products at your job like I do, and handle different wipes, soaps, etc, USE GLOVES WITH IT ALL. They irritate and dry out your skin. 
8) I recommend getting a HUMIDIFIER. For your room or home, it helps keep moisture in the air as I know when it is cold, homes use heaters and that dries the air out. I also use an essential oil air thing that makes the oil into a steam and certain oils like lavender are calming. 
9) DO NOT SHOWER OFTEN. It sounds gross. I know. But we know they burn. And we know most of us still take hot showers despite knowing the consequence. If you can, GET A FLITER FOR YOUR SHOWER HEAD. It helped a lot, and I found I was less itchy after showers. To avoid showering often, I take baths. They’re still hot, but it isn’t as painful. I also add oatmeal for moisture And to calm my skin. When I do shower, I make it lukewarm, and then at the end I make it super super cold. it actually feels really nice on my skin and I’m not in pain when I get out of the shower. Taking cold showers also helps with detoxing. 
10) SUPPLEMENTS. Take digestive supplements, oregano oil capsules, fish oil, probiotics. These all help speed up the detoxing of your body. Also, take Zyrtec. You can take up to 4 a day, as I was told by a doctor. 
11) EAT ANTI-INFLAMMATORY foods. Eczema can be flared up by eating foods that cause inflammation, so it makes sense to eat foods that battle that.
-Kale
-Tomatoes 
-Olive Oil
-Salmon
-Almond
-Strawberries, blueberries, oranges 
12) GET OFF OF STEROID CREAMS ASAP. They are a temporary solution to a long time problem. Also, they don’t really help all that much for some. STEROID creams become addictive for your skin, and can thin it. If you have been using steroid creams for an extended time and stop using them, you go through Topical STEROID Withdrawal which is extremely hard and painful but necessary for healing. 
13) Avoid going to traditional doctors. My entire childhood and even now when I would see doctors about my skin, they’re only solution is to prescribe medication and cream. It isn’t going to solve the deeper issue. Most doctors DENY that diet helps with eczema but ANYONE Whole eliminated just a few big processed foods front their diets can’t deny it helps. Doctors will deny it and refuse that holistic, natural remedies will actually help you. 
14) THIS IS MOST IMPORTANT. You want to do things that essentially are detoxing your body from toxins, and you do that by drinking a ton of water, eating a lot of fiber, using things like bentonite clay or epson salt in baths, and ACUPUNCTURE. When you do things that draw out the toxins, along with eliminating foods that aren’t good for you, your body will go through a process called the “Healing crisis”. Your eczema will flare worse than it has, you will get it in places you never got it. It may ooze, weep, spread, thicken, flake. IT IS NORMAL AND A GOOD SIGN. This is your body releasing all the horrible things it wasn’t healthy enough to get rid of before. It may last weeks, a couple months, or more, but it is just getting worse before it gets WAY WAY better! I’m currently in my healing crisis, and it is frustrating but you need to be patient. Things like headaches, joint pain, nauseousness, diarrhea may accompany it, but that’s expected. 
15) Know that it is a long long process to heal, and avoid saying negative things about yourself. Get a lot of rest, eliminate stressors, do meditation, thank those who are there for you. It’s the most draining thing I’ve ever had to go through, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and at times it makes me question if I can handle it. The only way to get through it, is to just get through it, and be patient.

[stompsite]

indie bundle cruft deathmatch volume 3: ex box

So normally, I wouldn’t do so many of these in such short order, but I’m moving at the end of the month, and I’m moving to a place where the internet’s gonna be wonky, so I’m trying to store as many games on my hard drives as I can. As a result, I’m going through my “definitely not gonna play these again” games as quickly as possible. So, hey, here’s another one.

LOVERS IN A DANGEROUS SPACETIME is a 2d metroidvania, I guess? Except you pilot a spaceship with a partner. It’s fun enough, but metroidvanias and I don’t get along super good. It looks nice and plays okay, but I feel like it’s meant to be played with multiple people, rather than solo. I played it on Xbox, since I got it free on Xbox Live at some point. NAH.

MAX: THE CURSE OF BROTHERHOOD is a sidescrolling platformer about a boy who wishes his brother away. Kinda like Labyrinth, but, as far as I’ve played, without the brilliance of Henson or Bowie present. This isn’t to say it’s a bad game at all, but it’s not really gripping me. But it is a platformer, and I’m someone who’s been trying to figure out why I don’t like platformers for a long time.

I think I’ve figured it out.

One of my least favorite things to do in a video game are forced racing sequences. In these sequences, you mostly have to learn where everything is, memorize it, and repeat. I’m not one for memorization. It’s fundamentally uninteresting to me on a basic level. A good racing game involves some degree of skill; most races in games not meant to be racers rely more on simply memorizing the track.

Most platformers I’ve played don’t involve any kind of interesting or meaningful decision making. Sometimes you’ll get some puzzle solving, which can be enjoyable, but more often than not, platformers are about simply reacting to what’s there, and nothing more than that. See the path, follow the path. The enemies aren’t super intelligent; Goombas march back and forth, and that’s about it. These are games about memorizing the path and timing your button presses perfectly.

In a Sonic game, you might get a few choices, but that’s about it. Played a bit of Mario 3D Land lately and it’s the same thing; at its most difficult, it’s just a game about memorization.

I value a game like DOOM or Halo, where you get to look over the environment, plan your route, and act accordingly, reacting to changes in the situation as they arise. There’s a nice mix of “doing interesting things” at work in these kind of games.

I value improvisation. 

That’s why platformers aren’t very interesting to me.

Oh, and Max has a magic marker that changes the environment. It’s a rule that all platformers have to have A Gimmick, and that’s what Max’s gimmick is. SEE YOU IN ANOTHER LIFE, BROTHER.

SPEEDRUNNERS, because it’s a platformer (a racing platformer, but a platformer nontheless), definitely can be SENT TO LIMBO.

SUPER DUNGEON BROS: claims, on its store page, that it is a rock-themed dungeon brawler. Basically it’s kinda like Diablo, I guess, except that I wasn’t really having much fun, and I forgot to take a screenshot. I DECIDED TO PASS ON IT.

BONEBONE: RISE OF THE DEATHLORD sure seems like a mobile port to me. You shoot arrows at skellingtons. YAWN.

BRINE seems like one of those Fallout mods you get for someone who offers “realistic nights,” but it’s so dark that you begin to wonder if the person making the claim suffers from severe night blindness. Seriously, the ground is just, like... totally black.  It’s some kind of survival game with a 24% positive rating on Steam. I’M STEERING CLEAR.

BROADSWORD: AGE OF CHIVALRY is like, I don’t know, if Civilization were incredibly low-res? I’ve really struggled to enjoy hex-based 4X games. For some reason, Stellaris is my drug of choice, but even games like Civ are hard for me to enjoy. AWAY WITH YOU.

This is what screenshots from BULLET LIFE 2010 look like. Yes, they did misspell “Resume.” Reviews are about half and half positive/negative. I’m surprised there are positive reviews at all, but what do I know? It’s a 3D bullet hell shooter that doesn’t feel super... bullet... hell-y. But I didn’t spend a lot of time with it because the controls were a nightmare. Took way too long to discover that “W” was the interact button and “X” was fire. Oh, and by switching to full screen in the pre-load options menu, I booted up the game. Here I thought I’d be able to edit multiple settings. Silly me. DUMPED.

BULB BOY is an aesthetically wonderful point and click adventure game, which I may come back to some day. The problem is that, well, it’s a point and click adventure game, another one of those genres I really struggle with. If platformers bore me because it’s about reaction time and memorization, point and clicks bore me because they’re about clicking on everything you can until you figure out in what order a bunch of interactive objects are supposed to be placed. It’s a genre that can be brute forced in a way I personally find dissatisfying.

But.

Don’t let this dissuade you from checking out Bulb Boy, a game that has a 91% positive rating on Steam, which, last I checked, is the same as DOOM. So, if you’re into the genre, you’re probably in for a treat. DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS.

What did I just say, CAPTAIN MORGANE AND THE GOLDEN TURTLE, about adventure games? Also, I have no idea what’s going on in the graphics here, but this sure doesn’t look like a three year old game. Also, it runs awfully on my GTX 1070, and there’s a review on Steam that makes the same complaint, but for a 1080. NOPE.

I was bummed out that Steam wouldn’t let me take screenshots of CARRIER COMMAND: GAEA MISSION. It’s not a great game from what I’ve played so far, but it’s interesting. Lots of little tweaks that Bohemia Interactive could do to make it play way better than it does. Maps feel huge. It’s neat. Obviously ARMA is their bread and butter, but... this has me intrigued. FINALLY, A GAME THAT STAYS.

Apparently there are earlier Deponia games, so I probably shouldn’t be testing CHAOS ON DEPONIA right now, but I went through the tutorial. Seems like an adventure game, made me chuckle. I’LL KEEP THIS ONE AROUND. FOR NOW. 

CITIES XL PLATINUM is a city builder, so you’d think it would stay on my list, but it won’t, and here’s why: city builders come in two varieties. There’s the Extremely Popular SimCity style, where you just kinda build a town and keep things running and that’s that, and then there’s the Less Popular But The Kind I Like games, like Tropico, The Settlers, and Anno. These games take you to different maps where you have specific objectives you need to complete. I find operating within those constraints much more enjoyable than the open-ended sandbox creation aspect of things. That’s just not my thing.

Cities XL Platinum is in the former style, unfortunately, which means I’m... like, I’ll give it a shot, but I’m not super into it. The performance issues I experienced weren’t great either, and Cities Skylines, which is from the Cities in Motion developers, is a much better game in this specific city-building subgenre. Forgot to screenshot. KICK IT TO THE CURB.

CLOUD CHAMBER is an online game that was, as best I can tell, removed from Steam. If you have it, you can... like, click on stuff, but you can’t play it, because apparently it, whatever it was, was an online game. WHAT’S THE POINT?

CONTAGION sounds cool, but I didn’t really enjoy the time I spent with it. A review says “it’s like No More Room in Hell, but costs money, and is worse,” and that seems about right. PASS.

COGNITION: AN ERICA REED THRILLER is a game I took a screenshot of, because I hadn’t been doing it or it hadn’t been working in the past few games. Apparently I ended up in Episode 2 even though I told it to go to Episode One. As you can see, people’s faces look... odd.

It’s a point n’ click where you spend like ten minutes in three different camera angles (one shot of two people talking, two closeups of their faces) where they mostly just talk about things that could’ve been said in far less words. It has 199 reviews on Steam, and the reviews are mostly stellar, so... hey, make of it what you will. The genre’s not for me, so I’M BANISHING IT TO OBLIVION.

DEADBOLT reminds me of Gunpoint. Like... uncannily so. This is fine, though, because I really liked Gunpoint. Now, you might be going “hey, Doc, I thought you hated sidescrolling games as evidenced by your above remarks about platformers!” Well, kinda. Deadbolt, like Gunpoint, keeps me engaged by letting me plan things. Observe. Strategize. Engage. That’s what makes it such a fun game. Best way I can describe this is if Gunpoint and Hotline Miami had a baby. The game wears its influences on its sleeves. I LOVE IT.

Word of caution: it gave me a black screen on Windows 10. I had to edit the ini, then it worked properly. Solution was located in the Steam Discussions.

BROKEN DREAMS wouldn’t let me take screenshots of it, probably because it was running in flash. It’s a quirky indie puzzle platformer, with an art design that I find distinctly off-putting. NAH.

DRAKENSANG refused to boot up at first, which is a bad sign, but I finally got it to work, and I was rewarded with a nice classic 3D PC RPG. It feels great to play, very Dragon Agey, if you’ve played that, though it’s got less “AAA Bioware” vibe and more of a “mid-00s German RPG” thing going on. Cool stuff. I had to reinstall the directx executable that came with the game and add “-windowed” to the launch options to make it work. NEAT STUFF.

I’m genuinely unsure where or when I acquired CLOSE YOUR EYES, but it’s definitely not my thing. It’s one of those games where the default controls are Z/X and Arrow keys. Close Your Eyes claims to be a horror game, but this RPG Maker-esque game did nothing to evoke any response in me as I played. I have no idea if it’s good or bad, but the genre and gameplay did nothing to draw me in. I was bored. AWAY WITH YOU.

Well, that’s 20 games. Of those 20 games, 4 of them stayed on the backlog.

The main thing I’m getting here is that genre’s pretty important to me, especially when it comes to being able to make plans. Adventure games and platformers tend not to emphasize strategizing, which is something that’s important to me when playing games. So games where you don’t do that, where you just react to stuff, that’s not as interesting to me.

Until next time.

[nostalgiaispeace]

351.

have you stayed up past 3 in the morning this week? nooooooo

the last person you spoke to, do you know their eye color? Matt; Hazel

are you currently in a smoking environment? yeah

have you ever been afraid to call someone, even if you knew them well? yeah

the last person who texted you, have you ever fought with them? yeah

are you scared of anything irrational? a lot

can you do a cartwheel? lol no

do you watch the super bowl just for the commercials? i don’t watch either.

how often is it that you make a post on any sort of social media, and then delete it soon after? why? probably often; i annoy myself.

have your ideas and expectations about adulthood changed as you’ve gotten older? yeah

have you ever taken time off to focus on your mental health? are you the type of person that is able to take a break or are you more likely to bury yourself in responsibility? yeah; both?

do you have a different group of friends on a site besides this one? i don’t really have friends on this site.

if you are or were in college, when you share your major with people how do they usually react? if you are not in college, how do you explain your job situation to others and what is their reaction? they were impressed; they hope that i can someday go back to school.

when you watch competition shows, do you feel an automatic support for a competitor who’s from your state or region? no

do you think it is possible that eventually humans will create enough technology to completely or nearly completely automate work and free up people to a new experience of social relations without “jobs” as we know them today? probably.

do you enjoy taking selfies and do you enjoy looking at other people’s selfies? no; depends on the person

are there any songs that you enjoy, but the lyrics are problematic/downright offensive? what about films with shady directors or plot points? how do you negotiate liking art or artists that represent offensive ideas or that have problematic politics? yeah; probably; freedom of expression.

what is your opinion of protest marches? what about different tactics taken by activists such as boycotts, shutting down highways, sit-ins, and even blockades of trade ships? what do you think is the best method to actually enact change? do it; do what you gotta do just don’t riot; peace protest - learn from history.

do you believe in parallel universes or infinite possibilities or do you tend to believe that what we see and know now is pretty much it? i don’t have an opinion.

what if you died in your sleep tonight? that’d be nice.

have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do? yeah

are there things in your life that you’ll never be able to get over? yes

name one person you wish you could fix things with? -

when was the last time you completely broke down? when my dog died probably.

have you ever turned to smoking or drinking to solve a problem? drinking probably.

what are you listening to right now? -

has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? yes

what do you think of therapists? i love my therapist; give them a chance.

would you ever go to a sperm bank to get pregnant? if i had to.

if a little kid walked up to you and asked, “are you goth?”, how would you respond? lol i’ve had that happen and i just say no.

does it annoy you when people say their heart is “broken”? yes

why aren’t you talking to the last person you kissed? he’s gaming.

are you mad at someone right now? Nope.

has anyone ever told you they wanted to marry you? Yes.

has a laptop ever burned your legs? Yes.

when at a restaurant, do you put your napkin on your lap? no

do you want to be friends with your recent ex? -

what did you hate most about your last relationship? he was an ass at the time.

do you understand the true meaning of “loving someone so much it hurts”? yes

has true love had a way of showing you that it can conquer anything? yes

did you ever play frogger when you were a kid? yeah

do you love deep? i guess so

can you ever see yourself and your ex back together? nope.

what’s your favorite vegetable? asparagus

where would you like to be in 5 years? successful.

would you be with someone who doesn’t have the same beliefs as you? i am

what did your last relationship teach you? trust no one.

what do you think of online dating? do your thing.

do you like someone you’re interested in to pursue you or do you prefer to do the chasing? dunno

do you think confessions make a relationship stronger? sure

would you relocate for love? yeah?

have you seen the person you love/like recently? how is he/she doing? yes; he’s amazinggggg

what color is your jewelry box?   -

can you solve a rubik’s cube? no

have you ever watched porn? Yes.

have you ever sleep walked? i’ve heard stories.

what would you want to be written on your tombstone? "I am free”

do you like carrots? no

have you ever worn lingerie? no

what is your favorite profanity? cunt

have you ever masturbated? Yes.

would you rather be hated or forgotten? forgotten.

spit or swallow? Spit.

what was your first rated r movie? no clue

who was your favorite musician as a kid? do you still like them now? Britney Spears; yes

have you ever gotten ‘bullied’ over social media? was it anonymous or not? yes; anon

if you could get a piercing anywhere, and not have to worry about it healing, where would you get one? monroe

if you could only have one type of sex for the rest of your life, would you choose anal, vaginal, or oral? oral

who or what do you love unconditionally?   Matt; mom; Lily.

what is something you have done that you’re proud of? dunno

what’s your blood type? dunno

what was the last thing you giffed? Lana I believe.

when you go out to breakfast, what do you order? french toast probably.

is there a phrase or mantra you repeat when you are frightened? "it’s going to be okay. breathe.”

have you ever worked at the same place as your best friend? no

what’s your favorite pet name someone calls you? -

would you give mouth to mouth to your dog to save its life? probably.

have you ever had a pet destroy something valuable or important? yeah

ever had a feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? Yes.

what do you check out first when you check someone out? their face?

is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? sure

do you like the idea of promise rings in relationships? do your thing.

can anyone in your immediate family play the guitar? dunno

why were you last frustrated? cramps

how much have you changed in the last year or so? i’ve gotten better

do you have a favorite name? what is it? naw

what was your favorite disney movie as a kid? is it still your favorite? The Lion King; yup

when did you first start using the internet often? 12?

have you ever been told your aspirations are unrealistic? actually, no

have you ever been called vain? do you agree with them? no

do you believe prayer really works? sometimes

ever dated someone you were best friends with first? no

last person to take off your pants, besides you? Matt probably.

think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you laughed with them? a lot

what’s something you really want right now, be honest? sleep

who was the last person to yell at you? Matt

what motivates you to go to school? nothing

have you ever felt like you were going out of your mind? Yes.

does your animal sleep with you? yes

do you own a robe? harry potter robe.

do you bathe your pets regularly? naw. Lily would scratch me up.

do you own any Batman movies? i don’t think so.

do you believe vampires are real? No.

are you someone who has to hide the things you like around friends? naw

do you remember when they used to actually throw candy out at parades? yeah

when was the last time you babysat, if ever? did anything bad happen? when Matt worked and had his daughter; she misbehaved alot.

do you ever talk to people you met online through webcam? or is that weird? no

how many people have you kissed in your lifetime so far? who were they? 5?; -

do you know anyone named alyssa? if so, elaborate. yeah; no

would you ever take a pole dancing class? sure

when is the last time you pulled an “all nighter” (where you stay awake the entire night to the next day)? what was the reason you did so, and was it worth it? when i had insomnia; insomnia; -

what is one life experience most people around you seem to have had that you haven’t (marriage, kids, work-related, etc)? conversely, what is one life experience you’ve had that most people around you haven’t? college; -

do you give pets or animals silly nicknames? what’s the funniest or most embarrassing nickname you’ve given an animal? yes; dunno

name something you consider to be completely unforgivable, no matter what the circumstances. why is it so egregious to you? what should happen to someone who does it? sexual assault; self explanatory; prison for life.

if you were exiled, what country would you choose as your new home? England

what’s the last time that you were really happy? what were you doing? who were you with? what made that time so special? yesterday; band practice; bad; it was so fun

are you self conscious about wearing a bathing suit? yes

who were the last people you saw besides from family? Matt.

do you only wish the best for your ex? yes

do you think that once people get married, they eventually fall “out of love?” no

have you ever been called a tease? yeah

when was the last time you laughed so hard you thought you were going to cry? yesterday?

which band/group have the most lyrics that represent you? RED

the last person you kissed, were they a good kisser? Yes.

do you throw things when you’re angry? naw.

do you hit things when you’re angry?   naw.

are you missing school yet? yesssss

your ex calls wanting to hang out. what do you say? we live in different states so it wouldn’t happen.

would you get back with your last ex if they asked you? no

do you want someone dead? yes

are you the one that normally makes the first move? no

when was the last time you sang along with a song? which one was it? yesterday; Kill Me - The Pretty Reckless.

what’s your favorite type of cake? all cake.

where did your first kiss take place? the kid’s living room.

can you go see a doctor alone or do you like to take someone with you? i can go alone but i don’t like to

how long is your average shower? depends on if I wash my hair or shave

do you like pineapple on pizza? Sure.

do you want a tattoo? I do.

what posters do you have in your room? Lacey; AA; Pvris

what was your elementary school’s mascot? i can’t remember....wildcat maybe?

what was the last job you applied for? amazon

do you use your turn signals when you’re driving? no

how tall is the last person you kissed? 5′11″?

are you wasting your time on the person you like? no

have you ever watched a movie in another language? yeah

are you afraid to answer sexual questions? no

what is your favorite type of cat? all of them.

do women breastfeeding in public make you feel uncomfortable? why or why not? no; it’s natural.

name one of your ex’s mother’s names? i don’t remember

have you ever been prescribed narcotics? Nope.

have you ever had a concussion? Nope.

is there an animal that you’re afraid of? yes

what is your favorite eeveelution (evolution of the pokemon eevee)? -

which part of your state/province do you live in[upper,lower,middle]? middle?

do you chew on your hair? no

do you eat more home cooked meals or more ‘quick n easy’ type of foods?   quick and easy

do you eat even when you’re not hungry? no

do you go insane without music? yes

is there an upcoming concert you want to go to? yes

is technology outsmarting humans? probably

how often do you use mouthwash? every night

what is your favorite musical? Singin’ in the Rain.

do you like the smell of burning leaves? sure?

do you tend to laugh when people get hurt, even when it’s serious? No.

are you procrastinating something right now? probably.

have you tried those new banana creme oreos? no

when was the last time you went out of state? Christmaseve.