#Which. No fucking clue.

[damiemontclair]

Tfw you're making dinmer, just throwing ingredients together with no proper goal in mind and praying to the gods you don't believe in that the end result will at least be edible.

[onesidedradiostatic]

can we talk about how the weirdest part of staticmoth isn't even the fact that they're toxic to each other?

it's how they both react to each other's toxicity with nonchalance.

like. first, during val's tantrum, val throws a glass at vox, or well, in his vicinity.

then vox just... steps away like it's nobody's business, barely bothered by it.

and later, when it's vox's turn to be angry, he roughly pulls val down, shakes him, and shouts at his face.

then val just... shrugs it off.

usually when you think of a toxic relationship, you'd probably think of person A being toxic to person B then person B biting back just as toxic until it's a back and forth of toxicity, a full-blown fight.

but that. that's not staticmoth. staticmoth is fucking weird in that when one is acting toxic towards the other, the other acts nonchalant and doesn't retaliate. then they switch roles on who the toxic one is and who the nonchalant one is.

I am not at all denying the toxicity in their relationship, but they certainly are a really fucking weird brand of toxic that is just. so hard to describe.

[ethosiab]

request: eefo and joel

smalletho for you

[iyohme]

and i know that you mean so well;

but i am not a vessel for your good intent!

("Tongues and Teeth," - The Crane Wives)

my serotonin got jetpack bursted into the stratosphere with this blurb by OP. Your brain is so juicy and moist and wrinkly OP. Godspeed. I'm not even into DC but the whole "Burnt out and neglected, and now a bunch of people driven by guilt guilt guilt want me back so they can feel less guilty?" just made the racoon in me rub its hands menacingly hoho

Just imagine not even living your best life; just a shadow in the lives of the illustrious Waynes, a ghost in a castle, visible only to the loyal servant and the occasional curious paparazzi who shrugs and looks away--after all, there was no mention of you in any occasion: must be the kid of in-house staff. How nice of Brucie Wayne to allow even the children of in-house staff the opportunity to study at such a high-end college! (The reporters chortle and snicker at your barely-passing marks, sighing at such a wasted opportunity. Oh well. And then they move on to the tabloid topic of the week, after the strutting socialites and the rich and the arrested Rogues.)

You gather things.

You gather pieces of a cracked dream, a single plastic teacup you had brought into the cavernous mansion the day you held Alfred's old, gnarled hand. Ears ringing and slippers still stained with your parent's blood as they were gunned down before your very eyes. You gather your things, what made you before you were "Wayne," so to say. Your mother's old cigarette box, smuggled from the crime scene, your one memento of the woman who you could not forget but never forgive.

A juxtaposition of love and hate, forever crucified. The image of the Virgin Mary inside the tin box seems to be a mockery of faith, across from her image lying cheap cigarettes.

You gather test papers, all barely passing and with more reds than blacks, and grind them up into strips with the shredder you had brought; just one time the black card Wayne had given you, and it left the bitterest, sourest aftertaste in your mouth. They burn so cozily on the school Bunsen burners, especially when sprayed with alcohol, immediately immolating like timelapse sparkler videos. You gather your name before the Incident, you cherish it, and you repeat the syllables in the dead of night, spilling past your mouth. Even if it was the name of a child-abusing monster, it was still yours, and it was still of use.

And use it, you would.

While they go and be a family, you work to begin yours.

You gather funds: it's easy to take on odd jobs when people do not suspect you. You tuck away that black card at the bottom of your study table drawers, forgotten there like scribbled-out pages of an essay, an unfinished drawing, and leftover candy wrappers. It's a bit-by-bit work, but you know the Waynes wouldn't even see it happening. Your brothers and sisters (an absurdly alien concept, as they don't even acknowledge you exist ninety-five percent of the time) are prodigies paraded around at every event. You are the unseen ghost flitting through their shadows.

Graduation comes and goes. It's laughably easy to falsify having lost your social security number and other documents--Gotham is that much of a shithole, you suppose. The man in the cowl notwithstanding. His efforts are admirable, but weak. Recidivism is common in this place, as if there were some sort of pull that incited the people in Gotham to cruelty, to madness.

It's absurdly Lovecraftian, in its own way.

You are not even living your best life, and yet you are free. Alfred knows; he always knows. If you are The Ghost, then the aged butler is a man one step between the doors of death, and he sees you every time you move. Your room is empty, and he raises an eyebrow at your satchel: all your items already stored elsewhere or given away.

("I suppose this was a long time coming, Little Master."

Tap tap tap. Footsteps on marble floors, setting sun.

You shrug. "Eh. The Waynes gave me a roof and education. It's all good."

You grunt. "Well, people change. Like you know, how kids being gifted stop being gifted when they grow older." You say, instead of 'Well, if a child doesn't get any praise or attention if they do good and probably even less if they were bad, why even bother?')

A pause. "Your academics were not so lackluster when you were younger."

You promise to try and stay in touch. (You crossed your fingers behind your back.) You leave, sunset on your face.

The nap you had in a dingy hotel with far too many odd stains and not enough locks you could put on was the soundest you've ever slept in years.

Freedom smells like summer air and the last rays of sun, followed by the cold blue hour.

It takes three months for an out-of-state college to accept you. It's far from Gotham. It has a dormitory. Excellent. While you were indeed a mediocre academic student, you had banked everything on band scholarships.

Who knew more than a hundred clarinet players had unclaimed scholarships yearly? Packing up your small life in bags, you take a train upwards to another state.

(Meanwhile, in Gotham, there is an odd sense of unease as Bruce Wayne stops by an inconspicuous door. It's relatively clean, as expected of his manor, but the worn out brass on the handle suggests that someone had lived there before. He opens the door. Steps in. A bed, a dresser, a study table. Bare bones.

The unease intensifies. But who?)

Someone had lived in here, yes.

[bongopteris]

hes sooo miserable and tormented<33(adjusts tie takes a mint sprays perfume slips on a banana peel hits head on counter dies)

[aspennntree]

soup

i saw someone else do this and it’s very inspired but i forgot their url i’ll look for it

[blueskittlesart]

“did you really not know about the tower of babel” well i knew that it was a tower. that either existed or didn’t exist. (???? still unclear. also still don’t know what it was for) either way how the fuck was i supposed to make that connection with no context other than “spaceship stronger than jesus”

[why-the-heck-not]

whiskey & writing this thesis bc the introduction chapter is taking more linguistical creativity than what I have with just caffeine (idk what to write in this without it sounding like a 3rd grader’s essay yikes)

[fluttervee]

me every episode as oisín is revealed to be more of a bastard

[lovecolibri]

It was never more clear than in last night's episode that KR truly only thought of Buck as "big dumb pretty boy" who was around to be the hot guy on the arm of literally whatever woman they could find so long as it was a woman.

Season 7 has some sins to atone for, but I have tried somewhat to offer it the grace I give season 4 for being a short season shot on a last-minute time crunch and under covid restrictions. We didn't see much of Buck in season 7 and most of what we saw was internal, not a lot of emergencies, though the ones we did get felt more balanced and purposeful to moving the main characters along than we had seen in awhile.

But 8x01? 8x01 was Firefighter Buckley at his absolute best and GOD I have missed him! He was silly, he was spouting off bee facts, he was thinking outside the box and saving lives with his ideas, he was gently communing with the bees, he was gently bullying his work husband partner into being a honey trap for bees, he was having an RSD episode and acting out against the injustice of how everyone is being treated because they're supposed to be a family, he got reprimanded for his ideas but didn't let it stop him from doing it again and again because he KNOWS he can save people!! I just- Firefighter Buckley!!!! 😭😭😭

There is a reason Buck was a fan favorite and we got to see everything this week from his giant kid energy, to his deep anger at injustice, to his stalwart co-parent energy with Eddie and having his back, to his ADHD brain coming up with fun facts and useful solutions.

He wasn't dumbed down for the sake of a joke (fully incorrect info on sperm donation after saying he did tons of research (that the writers clearly did not do) so they could get some cheap masturbation jokes), he wasn't the butt of the joke (lightning killing me gave me math powers because he-he i'm dumb and they don't have a plot for me to deal with it in a meaningful way, we're waiting for a LI to "fix" me, I'm calling every woman I slept with to see if I satisfied them) he was SMART, and CARING, and FRUSTRATED he can't save his family from the abuses they are suffering from and it all just felt so GOOD, and RIGHT, and true to who the Buck the audience fell in love with is. No wonder Oliver said it was the best episode they have done in years. I might have to agree.

[leander-was-here]

Safe return.

“You’re alive!”

“You made it back.

We both did.”

Thinking about Ulfric and Galmar as young legion soldiers both making it out of a bloody battle from which the legion had to eventually retreat (considering the Thalmor were probably kicking the empire’s ass) Only after the chaos has finally settled did they manage to find each other alive and well after.

Don’t think it was possible to ever separate them in battle after this one time. Alongside Rikke of course. Then you have yourself the coolest imperial trio. You’d wish you were them in highschool.

[humming-fly]

as expected the fma mobile game event side story that inexplicably features og greed and ling as high schoolers is just as wildly batshit as you'd expect - all these shitposts are all taken nearly Verbatim from the translation shit really was just that funny i still laugh when i think about it

(also in case ya'lld like to see it for yourself i saved all the screenshots and google translations to a zip file here though fair warning they may or may not be in order good luck o7)

[djevelbl]

Quick question — how old is IM!Mugs supposed to be? Cuz in my mind he's IM!Cup's twin (even tho they're really not), yet I vividly remember this point in The Labyrinth Arc™ where IM!Cup is reminiscing about their parents and through his memory we're shown he was at the youngest a toddler when IM!Mugs was born, maybe even a little older (my headcannon is that he was 5 years old, but to each their own)

So yea. I'm very curious now (it WILL affect a story I'm making. probably at least)

[jorrated]

always wondered what STC would've been like if instead of just making Eggman evil on a single event, it kinda jumbled his brain a lot and make him have brief moments of lucidity as Kintobor. give him the ice king treatment ya know

[messier51]

"have you seen this tv show" i was born in the 80s. we did not just Watch Entire Shows back in the day, they were just On TV sometimes. please be more explicit in your polls

do you mean - have you seen at least one episode? - have you seen a few episodes? maybe randomly. maybe not full episodes because you were flipping thru channels and missed the first 10 minutes or didn't change back fast enough after an ad break - have you seen enough episodes to know what's going on with the show but maybe not all consecutive or in order (did you watch a marathon on tnt? did you catch episodes whenever it was on but didn't go back and binge watch the rest?) - have you seen at least one full season in entirety (you binge watched it on a streaming service/own the season ie on dvd) - have you watched most of the show in its entirety but rage quit or got distracted before the final season(s)? - have you watched the entire show episode 1 thru the finale all seasons (streaming service/own the show on ie dvd) - so many other possibilities???? - also did i have to be paying enough attention to write a response essay or can it just be On while I was doing other stuff and I sorta know what happened what even counts as "watching" a show anyway

[lucaswarmhotchocolate]

Muggle college AU where Harry sneaks into tom’s dorm room (after making sure to drug tom’s water earlier ofc) and takes pictures of him while he sleeps and posts them online. because god fucking dammit, Tom riddle is the most annoying RA that could possibly exist, and he wants a little bit of light revenge.

Harry realizes that “light revenge” may have gotten out of hand around the same time he started stripping Tom, and suddenly he was balls deep in both Tom riddle and a felony. The gravity of the situation did nothing to prevent Harry from taking a video, even though it was just more evidence that could be used against Harry.