#Uplift Desk

[officialrailscales]

11.5” CK-Pro Bear Claw + OD Green HTP

Karve-P | OD Green

HTP MLOK Scales | Honeycomb Texture | OD Green

QDX Sling Mount | Carbon Black

CSMR Button | Apex Style | Carbon Black

- RS

[yessir38]

San Francisco Home Office Freestanding

Example of a danish freestanding desk study room design with white walls

[aninkwellofnectar]

as a chronic cynical misanthrope i'm starting to get why romance novels are so popular.

[smolbutfiercesun]

01.27.23

Finally getting around to this one. The cold, overcast weather makes me kinda glad my evening plans were canceled. Now I can get ahead on some readings, both for school and for pleasure :)

[rupertholmes]

sorry but if dad died of cancer id be like well that just happened

[alanstudios]

Who's Dawg Anderson? – Concept Art 4 (Tumblr)

Dawg Anderson's Desk

STORY: A once self-centered young man starts reevaluating his life by making friends and relationships after his fall from the high balance beam causes him to lose part of his memory.

[inorganic001]

Discovering the Practicality of Desktop Tables

Discovering the practicality of desktop tables unveils their multifaceted utility in various environments. These tables, often equipped with drawers or compartments, offer a streamlined solution for organizing workspaces efficiently. Whether in home offices, corporate settings, or educational institutions, desktop tables serve as versatile workstations that cater to diverse needs. Desktop tables also play a pivotal role in optimizing ergonomics and comfort during extended work sessions. With adjustable height options and ergonomic features, such as built-in keyboard trays or monitor stands, these tables can be customized to accommodate individual preferences and promote proper posture.

[addelaidesupreme]

I'm watching a video essay about a game ive been interested in playing. The creator of the video, who has crossdressed multiple times, makes a "women arent funny" joke, and i suddenly realize ive never witnessed him acknowledge a woman in an uplifting way before.

I'm on a dating app for lgbt+ people. I've stated multiple times on my profile that i would rather lose an arm than recieve nudes without consent. I will be sent five dick pics for every 2 people i talk to that night.

I'm talking with my dad, who informs me he's been trying his best to learn about trans issues. He says the same things steven crowder brings up when trying to ridicule trans people. I gently but firmly correct my father and get told that ive been fed propaganda.

I'm on instagram, under the comments of a post ridiculing someone for being a misogynyst. Someone's left a comment saying "it must be hard being a woman on the internet" and i respond "it is." I will have every aspect of my appearance scrutinized as a reminder that no matter how well i pass, it will never be enough for someone with bad intentions.

I'm back on that dating app for lgbt+ people. I'm messaged by an attractive looking person, but i can see their partner prominently displayed in all but their main photo, oftentimes striking what im sure they thought was a very intimidating pose. Their bio says "looking for a third for our anniversary." I know that even if I did feel up to it, the gruff partner wouldnt approve of me because i don't pass.

I'm at a job interview for a clothing store. I tell the gracefully-dressed woman interviewing me that ever since i began my transition, i've discovered an interest in fashion, and that this job would allow me to dip my toes into the industry in a safe way. I'm told that i've reduced womanhood to a stereotype, and i can tell by her tone that i lost any chance at the job the minute she realized i was trans.

I'm at the same hospital i got facial feminization surgery in, trying to figure out what's wrong with my bowels. When the person behind the desk gives me a wristband with my patient info on it, i notice a single, lonely, letter M. I ask a nurse in private why it would say that despite me having changed it nearly a year prior. They say they have no clue, and bring in paperwork for me to fill out and have it re-changed again.

I'm living with my mom at the time. I'm new to transitioning, and decide to try my hand at voice training. It feels a bit off, but otherwise im feeling neutral toward the whole thing. I try speaking in this new voice to my mom and she laughs. Now, when people ask if i intend to voice train, i find speaking at all difficult for minutes after.

I didnt have some sort of grand message to convey by this. I just had a thought and then that thought spiralled into whatever the hell this became. Some, okay most, might call it complaining; they are right to do so.

[maxiglow]

starting the week in a good mood

weekly review and preview

on sunday evening or monday morning, take some time to review the past week's accomplishments and reflect on what went well and what could be improved. then, preview the new week's schedule and tasks. this will help you be mentally prepared for what's ahead and adjust your plans if needed.

set weekly priorities

determine a top three to five priorities for the week and keep your focus aligned with your most important goals, making you more prone to have adequate time and resources to them throughout the week.

organize your workspace

it's very important to start monday with a clean and organized desk, anyone who already did it knows well. being physically organized helps reduce stress and improve your ability to focus and be productive.

create a motivational ritual

my favorite! begin your week with a motivational ritual. this could be reading an inspiring quote, listening to a particular song that uplifts you, or writing down somethings you are grateful for.

initiate a positive interaction

our first steps through the day can really affect the mood of our whole day (it's scientifically proven!!), so try starting your week with a positive interaction with your family, friends or colleagues. this, aside from maintaining a good relationship and being good to everybody, will also boost your mood.

start with a small win

choose a small, manageable task in the very beginning of monday and complete it. it'll give you an immediate sense of achievement and set a positive tone for the rest of the week.

[insideoutsolutions]

Have you ever seen an #uplift desk? These are an ergonomics-breaking design that allows you to adjust the height of the #desk with the simple push of a button! We #assemble one of these fantastic adjustable tables fairly often, and I'm always blown away by all the #customizations possible with this set up. You should check them out for yourself! We put this one together in Lakeville, MN! #newprague #newpraguemn #handyman #lakeville #lakevillemn #assembly #office (at Lakeville, Minnesota) https://www.instagram.com/p/Co5fRVCvLJU/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[rheya28]

Ridgeview Apartment [ Apartment + Gym + Bar] ♥ The Sims 4: Speed Build // CC

➽ Speed Build Video

➽ Rheya's Notes:

An open/closed concept floor plan. Kitchen with all new appliances Bathroom with shower and bath Gym & Bar Panoramic view of the city

➽ Apartment Units:

1st Floor: lobby, Bar and Gym 2nd Floor [Unit 1: 3 Bed, 2 Bath] [Unit 2: 1 Bed, 1 Bath] 3rd Floor [Unit 3: 3 Bed, 2 Bath] [Unit 4: 1 Bed, 1 Bath] 4th Floor [Unit 5: 4 Bed, 3 Bath]

➽ Important Notes:

● Please make sure to turn bb.moveobjects on! ● Please DO NOT reupload or claim as your own. ● Feel free to tag me if you are using it, I love seeing my build in other peoples save file ● Feel free to edit/tweak my builds, but please make sure to credit me as the original creator! ● Thank you to all CC Creators ● Please let me know if there's any problem with the build

➽Lot Details

Lot Name: Ridgeview Apartment Lot type: Apartment Complex w/ gym and bar Lot size: 40x30 Location: Windenburg

➽ MODS

Tool Mod by Twisted Mexi

➽ CC LIST:

Note: I reuse a lot of the same cc in all my builds, specifically cc's from felixandre, HeyHarrie, and Pierisim so if you're interested in downloading past, present, future build from me i suggest getting all their cc sets to make downloading a little easier! other creators include Sooky, Charlypancakes, Sixam, Thecluttercat, Myshunosun, awingedllama, and tuds. This will also ensure that the lots are complete and are not missing any items upon downloading !

Additional notes: You do not need to download all of the cc on the list as I only used 1 or 2 items from some of these set. Some items can be easily be replaced by what you already have!

I would however, download all heyharrie, pierisim, and felixandre sets that are listed as I used alot of their cc in the exterior and interior!

S-imagination : Nota Living Room [ Ceiling light Only]

Around the Sim: Shop sign [Barber sign only]

The Clutter Cat: Busy bee Pt 1 [ Green table Plant only], Dandy Diary [ Concrete coffee table only]

House of Harlix : Bafroom, Baysic, Harluxe, Livin Rum, Orjanic, Kichen

Bbygyal123: Balance Collection [ Yoga mat ]

Felix Andre: Berlin Pt 3 [ Office chair only], Chateau, FLorence, Colonial Pt 3, Grove Pt 4, Kyoto Pt 2, London Interior, Paris Pt 1 2 3, Grove

Charlypancakes: Maple &S Construction Pt 3, Soak

Harrie: Brutalist, Coastal, Klean

Joyce : Forever Autumn [ Curtains only]

Peacemaker: Graciously Georgian, Paige Armchair, Hamptons Hideaway [Ceiling light only]

Pierisim: Coldbrew, Combles, David Apartment, Domaine Du Close, MCM, Oak House, Winter Garden, Woodland Ranch

Charlypancakes x Pierisim: Precious Promises [ Chair only ]

*Ravasheen: Uplifting Elevator [MOD]

Simkoos: Everyday Clutter Add-on

Simplistic: Rustic Rug Trio

Sixam: Hotel Bedroom [ Desk only], Small spaces Laundry room

Syboulette: Fitness

Tuds: Cross

*Zulf: Let's get fit [MOD] -optional-

● DOWNLOAD Tray File and CC list: Patreon Page ● Origin ID: anrheya [previous name: applez] ● Twitter: Rheya28__ ● Tiktok: Rheya28__ ● Youtube: Rheya28__

[chuulyssa]

​🇭​​ 🇴 ​​🇲 ​​🇪​​ 🇼​​ 🇴 ​​🇷 ​​🇰​ .

ʟɪɢʜᴛ ʏᴀɢᴀᴍɪ !

↷ A/N ─ the long-awaited full ver of this drabble is here! will proofread this tomorrow oml it's 3am here again

★ COUNT ─ 1.3k

!! TAGS ─ light x reader, pre-kira!light, gn!reader, oral (m receiving), deep throating, slight (?) exhibitionism

★ PROLOGUE ─ giving your boyfriend head under the desk while he studies

SMUT, 18+, MDNI

The two of you were walking back home after school, neither of you speaking a word as you went on in silence. It was like a silent agreement that you would go to his house today instead of yours. After all, pissed as you were, academic stress did not help in uplifting your mood. Luckily, you knew just the way to relieve your worries while also getting your assignments done - and so did Light.

"Hello, dear," his mother greeted you warmly. "I assume he's tutoring you again? I sure hope he isn't too harsh on you."

"It's alright, Mrs Yagami," you smiled back at her, inwardly elated at the fact that some day the title you called her would belong to you.

"I don't understand, dear," she continued, "why do you need tutions from him in the first place? I mean, you do quite well as it is."

"I don't mind it," Light interrupted her before going up to his room.

You took off your shoes and shot her another kind smile before following your boyfriend. Behind you, you could hear Mrs Yagami mumble, "Kids these days."

The door shut behind you. Light immediately kept his bag in a corner and sat down on his chair. You looked at him with a bored expression.

"Already? You're not taking the 'tutoring' part seriously, now, are you?"

"Well, I have to," he said, taking out his Maths notebook and pen. "Your mother-in-law has entrusted me with this task."

You rolled your eyes.

"I don't study."

"I do," he shrugged. "And so, you must too."

"Nah," you flopped on his bed in a starfish position. "I'm going to catch some sleep."

"No, you aren't," Light said firmly and got up to hold you by your arms. He dragged you towards the table, pulling out a chair for you to sit near the desk so that you could keep up with his lessons.

"I'm not studying with you," you scoffed.

Light stared at you for some time before muttering, "Fine. You know what? Fine. Go to hell."

You chuckled and he shot you a petty glare. Opening his notebook, he started solving questions rapidly, not sparing you even a single glance and pretending as if you were as good as part of the wall.

You sat there doodling on a spare book you found. Your chin was on the table, and you were rethinking your decision to come to his house. With a sigh, you realized that you'd have been sleeping soundly in your cozy bed right now had you gone to your own house.

After a few minutes, you saw Light's pen slow down a little and an irritable look on his face.

"Y/N, look, if you can't make yourself useful, then you might as well go home. Seriously."

"What?"

"I said go home."

You blinked in confusion. Useful? Like how? You looked out of the window thinking of excuses to stay in his room. It may not have occurred to you then, but you really did want to stay in his company after all.

And then you got a brilliant idea. Of course! It'd help both you and him destress, and probably leave him flustered enough to do your homework as well. You could-

"Give you a blowjob," you repeated your suggestion to him while he looked at you with wide eyes.

"...Y/N-"

But you cut him off by pushing the chair you were sitting on away and dropping to your knees. He looked at you with a bewildered expression as you fumbled with his belt, desperate to free his obviously strained erection.

"Really, now?" you said in a mocking tone. "Already? I didn't even do anything yet!"

"Well, if you're gonna sit there looking like that, this is bound to happen."

"You could've been subtle about it though," you pushed the chair away to get a clear view and comfortable access to his cock.

"Wait, you're serious about this?"

"Um, yeah?"

"But what if someone heard us?" He protested. "My parents are down there. Heck, Sayu is down there! This is not a sound proof room, we're gonna get c- ah!"

You cut him off with a little lick to the top of his cock. With your right hand you gripped his base and lowered yourself to him.

"Say it again," you said with an amused smile on your face, lips pressed against his dick. "Let me hear your pretty voice."

He was silent for a moment. Then, he slowly reached out to dig his fingers inside your hair giving you the consent you were looking for.

"Thats a good boy," you whispered, making him shiver as your warm breath breezed his cock.

Your grip on his dick tightened ever so slightly as you got ready to suck him. His fingers were tangled in your hair while his other hand tried it's best to solve the math equations for his assignments.

You licked the tip again. Light's hips jerked upwards but you pushed him down with all your might.

"Stop teasing," he breathed, looking away as if to hide his fluster.

You rolled your eyes before finally taking him, inch by inch, inside your mouth. You felt your lips stretching to accommodate his thick dick. It was an uncomfortable experience, but the little grunts that escaped your boyfriend made it worth the pain.

As your lips hit his base, you felt your saliva drooling over his cock, and immediately lifted your head back up, just to take him entirely again.

Light groaned. You tried to smile, but your work was more important. You bobbed your head up and down his dick, occasionally tracing his balls with the tips of your fingers.

"Oh god, no, what if someone sees us," Light said between moans of pleasure. "But, baby, please don't stop now."

You lifted your head completely to look him in the eye. He whined at the lost contact, and tried to push you back.

"Did you lock the door?" You said with an annoyed huff.

"Fuck, no, let me-"

You gave his dick a few pumps to stop him.

"Too late now. I guess everyone's watching Light Yagami groan and come all over his study table."

Light widened his eyes, which was a struggle considering your soft hands manipulating his movements.

You laughed at his pathetic state before taking him in again. You bobbed your head up and down, tapping his inner thigh in a rhythm.

Under your touch, meanwhile, Light was a whimpering, moaning mess. One hand was still in your hair while the other hand completely abandoned his futile efforts of doing his assignment and now lay scratching his table.

"Oh, oh god, oh fuck, yout ake me in so well," he threw his head back with pleasure. "More, more. God, i think I'm coming already."

At this, you gave him a smug look and pushed your head down on his cock until it hit your throat. Your eyes watered, but you didn't let it ruin the moment. Light almost let out a loud cry, both his hands attempting to muffle his voice as if on cue.

You choked and gagged, while he groaned and kicked his legs in the air.

"Fuck, fuck, shit, shit, I'm coming."

Your nails dug into his thighs to form crescent moons as he emptied his cum into your throat, careful not to let any of it spill on the ground or on the chair - anywhere his mom or sister could examine and catch him red handed. After making sure to take all of it in, you finally lifted your head up, licking his entire dick in one, long stroke before licking your lips and winking at him.

Light groaned at the smirk on your face.

"You're such a bad influence. Bad influence on the perfect Light Yagami."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

tagging: @zharickmedrano

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

© chuulyssa 2024 - do not copy, plagiarize or repost my works on any platforms. do not translate.

[mistywaves98]

Delinquent reader getting her brains fucked by councilprez!Scara? Degrading, spanking, bjs, over the desk and bodyworship?

And ong, please!! Bonus if they're step siblings for just that extra, unnecessary spice. Please, please, please? 🙉❤️

The stepcest got my stomach twisting like-?? Though tbh I'm not too confident abt this one... Long fics aren't really my strong point 😭

✧･ﾟ:* ->Student Council President! Scara x Fem! Reader

✧･ﾟ:* ->¡Warnings!: NSFW, Stepcest, Degradation, Slight praise, Spanking, Blowjob, Mean!/Sadistic! Scara, Body worship if you squint!

Did you really think that you could get away with your usual mischief just because you were related to the president of the student council? Well, yeah...no. Not after you've found yourself in this position — on your knees of the empty classroom, choking on the president's dick. Scaramouche couldn't keep the sadistic smile off his face as he roughly fucked your poor throat with his girthy length. Your jaw was sore, your oesophagus even more so from the way he used your mouth like a fleshlight.

You couldn't stop gagging everytime the tip hit the back of your throat, making you grab his thighs to steady yourself as tears streamed down your face,"Aww, what's the matter? Don't tell me your mouth hurts already, I was hoping to cum down your throat a couple times. Oh well, guess once will have to do...Open wide." His tone feigned sadness, but expression said otherwise. Scaramouche's eyes glinted with malice as he pulled you off his cock, groaning as he allowed his gooey cum to splatter all over your face, making you wince in response. He then takes a hand and runs it along your cheek, collecting his cum on his fingers only to shove them into your mouth.

And like the obedient little sister you are, you stuck your tongue out and accepted every drop before swallowing the bitter essence. You certainly looked a mess now, the lower half of your face dripping with the evidence of his climax as well as the red puffiness of your cheeks from crying. Scaramouche pats your head, the gesture more condescending than uplifting, "Good girl. At least you're not totally brain dead. But you still need to be punished for all those violations.."

Now you find yourself pulled up from the floor, laid across his lap. You squirm, legs kicking slightly before tensing as he flips up the back of your skirt,"S-scara? What are y—!!" A sharp smack to your ass cuts you off as you yelp, holding your tongue as your face flushes. "Tch, what a whore I have for a sister... Walking around with a skirt that barely covers your ass. That also goes against the dress code, y'know." Though you can already feel his dick getting stiff as he says that, the hardness pressing uncomfortably against your stomach.

Scaramouche takes his time to admire your body from this angle, running a finger from the base of your neck, moving down your spine to the top of your skirt, feeling you, shudder from the sensation. His eyes trail down to the area between your legs, watching as the fabric of your panties clings to the drooling folds of your pussy and he decides to use this to taunt you some more,"Hah! Are you really this worked up right now? All from sucking my dick... Guess you like this more than you're letting on. You love getting treated like a bag of holes by your stepbrother, don't you, you dirty bitch."

As much as you didn't want to admit it, he was right and the way he was calling you out was making you wetter by the second. Your step brother noticed it too, and smirked at the sight before suddenly grabbing the waistband of your panties. His eyes narrowed as he yanked it up and forwards a bit, eliciting another yelp from you as the fabric gets caught between your ass cheeks. The sensation is rather painful, as he intended, making you whimper as your face burns with humiliation.

"There, that's better. Now I can get a proper view of this ass in all its plush glory. Look at it, just begging to be spanked!" He laughed at his own words, enjoying every minute of your dilemma as he runs a hand over the smooth skin, giving it a periodic squeeze. When he's had his fill, he lifts it and reels it back. A loud smack! resounds throughout the classroom as his palm comes into contact with your ass. He's unforgiving, using as much force as possible to maximize your pain reception.

The tears are quick to flow, dripping onto the floor as your body lurches forward with each spank. Scaramouche suddenly lifts his left knee a bit propping his foot up with the assistance of a nearby chair. This slight change lifts your ass higher in the air, forcing your back into an arch as he continues his ruthless punishment. You wail and plead, arms flailing as you try to convince him to let up even a little bit but it's all in vain. His palm simply comes down to press between your shoulder blades to hold you in place as your step brother remains hellbent on tormenting you like this.

Your cries accompanied with the smacks echo throughout the otherwise quiet classroom. Considering it's after school hours, there's no one that would hear the two of you, except perhaps the janitor but they wouldn't dare interrupt such a scene. smack! smack! smack! The pain is searing by now, and you're quite positive that you're not going to be able to sit properly for a while after this. It's only when the flesh is red and raw that Scaramouche decides it's enough.

Even after his hand retreats you can still feel the sting, jolting as it comes back down to rub the irritated skin. The other one moves to grab the sides of your face, pulling your head back to look up at him as he coos at your pitiful state,"What a sight you are... Spanked nice and raw f'me. Heh, you should be grateful that I didn't make you count every single hit." His thumb pries your mouth open, pressing down on your tongue to reveal your used throat,"I definitely would've, if I hadn't fucked your mouth so thoroughly..."

"Are we...are we done..?" You manage to croak out as he removes the finger, voice hoarse and a bit muffled from the grip on your face as you desperately hope he'll give you a break. That hope is swiftly shattered when he merely cackles, the sadistic glint in his eyes ever present as his shoulders shake with laughter,"Haha! You thought I was done with you? Oh, no no, my dear step-sis, we've barely reached the fun part yet.." Dread pools in the pit of your stomach as he changes your position for the second time.

This time your upper half is pushed against the teacher's desk, breasts smushed against the hard surface as your lower half hangs off the edge. Scaramouche eagerly discards your skirt and then your underwear, pocketing the latter for personal use as he fixates on your bare pussy. Your step brother bites his lip, trailing a finger down your drooling slit before using his index and middle to push apart your folds and reveal your clenching hole to him,"Shit...she's fucking gorgeous... S' pretty and just asking to be filled. Can't believe you've been hiding all this from me, huh sis?"

He lifts his head to look at your face, and you avert your gaze, cheeks burning as he simply chuckles at your shyness. Though as much as he'd love to stare some more, his cock was already hard and aching for some more relief. A choked whimper slips out of you as he lines himself up with your entrance and abruptly shoves himself inside you, giving you no time to adjust as he bottoms out immediately. Scaramouche grunts as he feels your walls stretching to accommodate him, loving the feeling of your tight cunt around his cock.

"Hnn...Oh, God— Your pussy's so damn tight... Squeezing me so nicely...So wet too, I knew you were enjoying that spanking, fucking slut.." His hands come down on either side of your torso, pressing against the table for leverage as he begins to thrust. He picks up a rhythm, going hard and deep with reasonably paced strokes. Your nails scratch the smooth wood of the table, moans keening from your aching throat as his tip kisses your cervix every time he pushes back in. It doesn't help that his hips are snapping against your sore ass with each thrust, making you wince when they flush against yours. Your legs struggle to support you, trembling as his cock splits you apart.

All this back to back stimulation has rendered your body incredibly sensitive and you already find yourself teetering near the edge of release,"A-ahn...! S-...Scara...hnn! 'm gonna...gonna cum—!" Scaramouche feels his dick twitch as he hears that, gradually increasing the speed of his thrusts as he becomes set on making you coat his dick in your creamy essence. "Then cum f'me, wanna feel your slutty pussy squirt around my cock..." Well that was all you needed to hear, eyes rolling to back of your skull as you came with a squeal of ecstasy.

Scaramouche moaned as he felt your walls flutter around him, your cum creating a translucent ring around the base of his shaft. He didn't stop thrusting, helping you ride out your high as his body chased release of its own. His hands came down to grasp your hips, using it as leverage to drill his cock into you as a wild pace, strangled whimpers leaving your parted lips,"Nghh... Fuck, you looked so pretty cummin' around my dick like that..."

"But we're not done yet, so brace yourself..."

[supermoongirl9]

Things that could make you feel better when you're in a bad mood (anxious, sad or worst) based on your 5H :

Aries/Mars 5H = finding something to let out your emotional frustration such as exercising, going for a run or masturbation; dancing and shaking your ass; going to a sauna or a hammam; taking a cold shower to feel less overwhelmed physically.

Taurus/Venus 5H = eating your fav comfort food and not feeling guilty even if that's something deemed as unhealthy/junk food; wearing comfy clothes and not caring about how you look (just enjoying and chilling); ordering some take-out just because.

Gemini/Mercury 5H = reading a part of one of your fav books; watching an old cartoon from your childhood; using your hands for something artistic (even if it's about a silly doodle); having a good laugh with friends, watching reality-tv and not feeling guilty hahaha.

Cancer/Moon 5H = taking a long bath; spending time around children (bonus point if they're from ur fam); talking to your loved ones (give them a call!!); swimming naked somewhere; calling your mom or your women friends and pour your heart out.

Leo/Sun 5H = listening to positive affirmations; complimenting yourself in front of a mirror; wearing your fav outfit and parading somewhere; acting like you're the star of your own movie (it's needed sometimes); wearing something shiny.

Virgo/Mercury 5H = cleaning and reorganizing your things - can be only about your desk/work space as it helps with feeling less anxious mentally speaking; criticizing people u don't like w friends; doing a full skin care routine (face mask, 10 steps shit) while watching a show.

Libra/Venus 5H = dressing up and wearing a beautiful makeup/beautiful jewelry even if you're staying at home because sometimes, feeling beautiful is important; creating a pretty atmosphere in your bedroom (scented candle, nice bed sheets...) before sleeping.

Scorpio/Pluto 5H = masturbation/having sex with someone; spending the day naked at your place and enjoying the privacy; buying a new sex-toy; writing a list of your enemies; burning some incense and watching your fav horror movie; reading about the occult.

Sagittarius/Jupiter 5H = going on an adventure somehow (can be only about going to that new place you always wanted to try in your neighborhood); scheduling a trip somewhere; watching a documentary about your fav topic (and educating urself in the process).

Capricorn/Saturn 5H = seeking advices and words of encouragement from older people; doing something that makes you feel more in control of your life and congratulating yourself right after; spending some alone time without telling anyone how to reach you out.

Aquarius/Uranus 5H = indulging in your niche hobby no one knows about; dressing without caring about others' judgement and actually enjoying it; watching an experimental movie; listening to music and daydreaming.

Pisces/Neptune 5H = listening to your fav playlist (you need one that exists only to uplift your mood); writing cheesy poems just because; telling your loved ones how much you actually love them; spending time near the ocean.

[mintmatcha]

-cw: reader has health issues

Overdue. Overdue. Overdue. They all bore into you with their bright, red letters. Each letter urges payment, warns of dire consequence, all topped with the same name: Kita Shinsuke.

It takes three reads through for the information to feel real. Credit cards, doctor's bills, the fucking house- all of it spread across the tiny, oak desk in Kita's office, tucked away where he didn't want you to see.

The door creaks open and you whip around, no longer afraid of being caught.

"Shinsuke."

Kita takes a breath, so deep and sudden that his shoulders bounce up, but he lets it go slowly. His expression returns to its usual placid self, if not a bit more crinkled at the eyes. In two steps, he's to you, swiping away the evidence of his wrongdoing.

"I told you not to look through that, darlin'." His voice is soft, uplifted, like your lives aren't on the brink of collapse. "You don't gotta worry about that."

"Worry? Worry? This is--" Your own breath is much, much shakier. "Shinsuke, this is-- this is bad."

He tucks the envelopes back to where you found them and you can't help but notice a quiver in his hands. Shinsuke, your Shinsuke, unflappable, stable Shinsuke, is shaking.

"It just wasn't a good season." His smile never falters. "Things will be better after the next harvest."

"We're going to lose the house-"

"Darlin'." He holds his hands up, palms to you. "It's okay."

It's not. Your mind is already racing; it's your fault, of course. When your physical and mental health declined, Shinsuke had offered to be the sole provider. When you accepted, you hadn't thought it would be putting such a strain on him, but, looking back... the medical bills, the medications: none of it is cheap.

"My surgery alone was-"

He cuts you off. "Don't."

But you're already halfway out the door.

"I'm canceling my doctor's appointments-" Your cellphone is on the kitchen table and you're at the top of the stairs. "We can't afford this-"

Kita stops you with a hand around your wrist. He doesn't tug, but he holds, stopping you from descending. A wave of nausea hit you as your brain finally begins to process the numbers.

"No."

You take a breath. Then, another. Neither center you.

"This isn't a discussion, Shinsuke."

"You're right. There's no discussion." His face is set, deeply serious. His eyes are wide, terracotta against his ever graying hair, so young and so old all at once. "You are going to your appointments and getting what you need. We'll pay for it."

Every emotion inside of you feels carbonated- stimulated, rising, and no where to go. "We can't fucking afford it."

Kita blinks at the curse, flinching at the shock. After a pause, he opens his mouth to speak, only for a warbled sound to come out. The tremble of his lower lip shocks you, as does the wet threatening to spill over his waterline. Instinctively, you reach for him, and he does the same, holding you at arms distance.

"I don't care." His voice is barely whole. "I'd rather lose the house."

"You don't mean that." You grip on to his shirt and it wrinkles in your hands. It's tattered at the edge, hand sewn as a temporary fix. "Your grandfather's house."

Kita sniffles. He tries to smile, but it falls flat immediately after.

"I'm so sorry that I failed you as a husband." He says, more stern than you ever thought possible, while being so brittle. "But I'd sell the clothes off my back before I did anything to sacrifice your health."

The anger inside you hasn't died, but you're able to tuck it away and hold on to the love you feel.

"Don't say that," you say. "If I was healthy-"

"I failed because you feel like that."

[megalony]

I Failed- Part 2

Here is the second part of my Eddie Diaz imagine, thank you all for the lovely feedback on the first part. I hope you will all like this next one.

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Eddie Diaz Masterlist

Part 1

Summary: After her miscarriage, (Y/n) and Eddie are trying to move forward again. But they encounter a few surprises and changes on the way.

Enjoy.

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A thunderstorm began to rage behind (Y/n)'s eyes as she slumped down into the chair opposite the doctor's desk.

She knew she looked far from her best. It was a struggle just to sit here and keep her eyes open, let alone sit straight and try to look engaged and bright when all she wanted to do was go home and crawl back into bed. She was tired. She wanted to be bright and uplifted and show the doctor that she was doing better, but that felt like too much effort.

She had been doing great for a while now. (Y/n) actually felt like she was getting back on track. But being around doctors brought down her moods and made her anxious.

At least this was only a routine appointment.

This wasn't a mental health check up like she'd gone to when she came out the hospital after the miscarriage. This wasn't a check up to see if her body was going back to normal after what she'd been through. No more assessments with nurses prodding her flattening tummy and asking indiscreet questions that made her want to cry.

Seeing her stomach deflate and watch her body go back to 'normal' with no baby to show for it had been hard enough. Without the nurses constantly prodding and checking and telling her she was fine, when she felt the exact opposite.

It wasn't fine to go through half a pregnancy and come out of it with no baby at the end.

It wasn't fine to spend the first two months after the miscarriage still believing she had done something wrong, that she had let Eddie down. Sometimes she woke up in the morning, pressed a hand to her stomach and felt like she was a failure at the one thing she wanted more than anything else in the world.

"So (Y/n), how are you?"

Her eyes drifted over to look at the doctor sat on the opposite side of the desk.

She didn't like that question, it was one she had been asked far too many times over the last six months. She didn't like people looking at her with sympathy in their eyes or panic in their voices. She didn't like hearing that question when it was the first thing the counsellor always asked her at their appointments. And (Y/n) was sick of hearing it by now.

"I'm doing good." She knew the tiredness on her face may contradict her words, but at least the look in her eyes was sincere. She wasn't lying.

(Y/n) didn't know where she would be or what would of happened if she didn't have Eddie by her side through this. If she had gone through the miscarriage with her ex, (Y/n) doubted she would have survived it. Everything had always been her fault even when it wasn't, and feeling sick was always 'an excuse' he said she used when she did things wrong.

Eddie never treated her like that. When she didn't feel like she could get out of bed, Eddie laid with her and wrapped her up in his arms. He held her until she felt like she could finally move. He didn't force her into recovery too fast or push her past her boundaries, he simply walked with her every step of the way.

He never blamed her. He didn't tell her she should 'snap out of it by now' or that she was getting hung up on the past.

He told her how much he loved her, how well he thought she was doing and made her feel like each day she managed to piece herself together was an achievement.

"That's good. So this is just a general check up, an overview to see how you're fairing. Just a general outlook, how are you eating and sleeping?"

She leaned back a bit further in her seat and tried to think. Sometimes the days went by so slowly that (Y/n) could keep track of every second of every day. But then other days blurred together in a whirlwind and she could barely tell one week from the next. Sometimes even the good days blurred by in a flash, but (Y/n) thought maybe that was a good thing. All the days were starting to get better so time was zooming by.

She wanted to be as far away from that miscarriage as possible and leave it in the past. She didn't want to forget, just distance herself from that event in her life.

"Sometimes I sleep a lot, but I'm sleeping fine, I don't wake up during the night. And I'm eating as usual, I don't eat breakfast, but that's normal."

(Y/n) had spent a little while in the hospital after the miscarriage, the doctor didn't want to discharge her without making sure that she wasn't at risk for self-harm and that she was in the right frame of mind to go home. She hadn't slept well during that first month. After that, (Y/n) seemed to sleep normal or sleep too much, but it wasn't really an issue.

Eating wasn't a problem either. Eddie had been swiftly relieved that he didn't have to worry about (Y/n) becoming ill by not eating enough or not feeling hungry or energetic.

"Good, so physical health everything is okay, no concerns?"

She shook her head. What kind of concerns could she have? (Y/n) hadn't exactly booked this appointment herself and it wasn't as if Eddie had booked it because he was worried about her. The doctor asked for this because they had to keep regular checks after the miscarriage to make sure (Y/n) was faring well both mentally and physically.

"How about your period, is that regular now?" It wasn't uncommon for periods to be scattered and irregular. It could take months for the pattern to get back to normal, (Y/n) had been advised about that.

She shook her head and looked down at her hands that were clasped together on her lap. "No, I barely get them."

It was hard to try and remember the last proper period she'd had. Obviously she hadn't had any when she was pregnant, and that meant five months without any. The miscarriage had been six months ago and since then, (Y/n) could only recollect two small periods that lasted about two days each, if that.

It was a relief not to have heavy periods or be bed-ridden with cramps or bad mood swings due to discomfort. But it was also unsettling to be apprehensive, waiting for something that wasn't happening. (Y/n) felt like it was a reminder. If she ever tried to ignore the fact that she'd miscarried, her body was happy to remind her by not giving her a period as if it was taunting her.

"Okay, and how are you feeling in yourself? Moods can affect periods."

"Better than before… a lot of headaches though, and I'm tired." The headaches were new and although the tiredness came and went, especially because of her moods, it was getting hard.

It didn't seem to matter how much sleep (Y/n) got, she was still starting to feel drained halfway through the day or she felt so tired that she didn't want to get out of bed.

"Let's take some bloods, you might be low on a few things."

Suddenly, (Y/n) wished Eddie hadn't been at work so he could of come along to this appointment. It skipped her mind that she might need to have bloods taken and she wasn't so good with needles.

She slipped off her jacket and laid her left arm on the desk, she knew the drill. Her head turned to the right and she ignored the rubber band around her arm, looking away towards the wall so she didn't have to think or look at the needle. It was a familiar discomfort to feel the needle in the crease of her elbow, and when (Y/n) opened her eyes, she was surprised to see that she wasn't going dizzy or blacking out.

Although the bloods did make her feel somewhat drained. Two little viles of blood felt like two full pints and (Y/n) moved her hands to run up and down her thighs to try and bring some feeling back in her hands and make herself feel better.

"All done. I'd like a urine sample as well if that's okay, just to double check there are no infections or kidney issues."

"Okay." That wasn't so bad. That was rather easy and (Y/n) could do the sample now so she didn't have to go home and come back again.

"Alright, if you do that sample for me, then I'll send them off. And as soon as the results come back, I'll give you a call." That was good; (Y/n) wanted to go home. She would rather be anywhere else other than a doctor's office right now.

"Thank you."

***

"Hi, is that (Y/n)? It's doctor Piper, I've got the results back from your blood and urine samples."

"Oh, right. Was it all okay?"

"I'd like you to come down to the office to discuss it, if that's okay."

(Y/n) closed her eyes and leaned her head to the right until her cheek was laid on Eddie's shoulder. She felt his hand rest on her thigh and his fingers gave her a light squeeze, making her lips curve into a small smile. She leaned into him a bit more and moved her arms to bind her hands around his arm that was draped over her chest to hold her thigh.

She could feel his lips pressing to the top of her head, meshing into her hair while his leg jittered up and down every now and then, nudging her knee each time.

The doctor's phone call had made her nervous. (Y/n) wasn't sure what to expect and she had asked Eddie if he would come to the appointment with her. Of course he didn't refuse.

She couldn't help but panic about what they wanted to talk to her about. What could the results say that couldn't be explained over the phone? Quite a few times, (Y/n) had talked over the phone about having low vitamins or needing a few tablets to be put on prescription.

Maybe she had an infection. Maybe the doctor had to talk to her about the antibiotics she would need if she did have an infection. Whatever it was, (Y/n) felt calmer if Eddie came along with her.

When her name was called, (Y/n) kept her hands deadlocked around Eddie's arm even when he stood up.

She stood up with him, binding his arm to her chest and pressing herself up into his side as he led the way down towards the doctor.

The doctor had a calming smile on her face which settled down the nerves igniting up in (Y/n)'s stomach. They headed into the familiar office and sat down in front of the desk and the moment they sat down, Eddie's hand found her thigh again.

He took to squeezing her thigh and rubbing his thumb across her skin to try and keep her calm. Hopefully, whatever this was about was nothing to worry about and Eddie didn't want (Y/n) worrying. The doctor hadn't asked to make an urgent appointment so it couldn't be anything dire or drastic.

"Afternoon (Y/n), thank you for coming in. Is this your husband?"

When (Y/n) nodded, the doctor smiled and leaned forward in her chair. She laid her arms down on the desk and looked over at the computer screen on her left so she could bring up (Y/n)'s file and the blood test results.

"As I said on the phone, I've had your results back. Now, I don't want you to worry or start to panic, but I had to ask you down to talk this through in person as we'll need to discuss and organise a few things."

That didn't sound great. That sounded more worrying than the doctor seemed to imply and (Y/n) felt Eddie bristle beside her as his brows furrowed in confusion. And he sat up straighter in his seat, moving his right hand to run up and down the arm rest to try and give himself something to focus on.

"Both the blood test and the urine samples have come up positive on the pregnancy tests."

She couldn't breathe.

All the air seemed to become sucked out of the room until (Y/n) was sat with her lungs deflating and shrivelling up in her chest. Her diaphragm pulled inwards until her muscles began to ache and her throat started to tense, rubbing her vocal cords together at the lack of air.

Little black and white spots danced in front of her eyes like stars and a horrible bell began to toll in her ears.

When Eddie's hand left her thigh, a shockwave rattled through (Y/n) and she suddenly felt like a tiny boat sailing away in the ocean with no anchor to stop her and nothing to guide her back to shore.

Her body leaned forwards out of instinct, but the moment Eddie's hand found her back and began to rub slow, soothing circles against her skin, she finally sucked in a deep breath that made her lungs ache. Her chest finally seemed to expand, but the spots continued to dance around her vision until she had no choice but to close her eyes.

She felt Eddie's other hand move to press against her lower chest, prompting her to take deep breaths while his lips pressed down against her shoulder.

Eddie was grateful the doctor didn't say anything. She didn't round the desk and try to coax (Y/n) into breathing exercises or try and move her or assess her when she was clearly going into a panic attack. Instead, she stayed silent behind her desk and let Eddie control the situation.

Both (Y/n)'s hands found their way to attach to Eddie's wrist that was against her chest and through blurring eyes, she managed to look over at him.

He looked perplexed.

He was torn between wanting to smile and celebrate and wanting to huddle down and let the tears fall. He wanted to be happy, but he didn't know how to do that without feeling like he was betraying himself and (Y/n) after what happened six months ago.

The first time they got this news, they had been in tears, holding one another and laughing excitedly that it had happened so quickly after they talked about starting a family. This was different. This didn't make either of them think about having a family; it made them think about the risk of doing this again and going through the same loss a second time around.

"Eddie…" (Y/n) wasn't quite sure what she was trying to ask him, but she tucked herself into him as quickly as she could.

She didn't care about the arm of the chair that dug uncomfortably into her hip as she leaned over until her upper body was resting on Eddie's lap. Her elbows dug down into his thighs and her face meshed into his chest while her hands clung to his arm that she pinned against her chest like she needed the limb to survive.

"It's okay, it's okay." He wasn't sure what else to say as he ran his hand up and down (Y/n)'s back and pressed his lips against the top of her head. He curled around her like a security blanket, holding her into his chest until he felt her start to breathe deeper into his chest and she stopped muttering and gasping his name.

(Y/n) kept hold of Eddie's arm as she meshed her cheek into his chest and tried to look over at the doctor.

She wanted to go home.

She didn't want to stay here any longer, she just wanted to go home and curl up into a ball and disappear. But if they left this appointment now, they would only have to make another one soon. And the doctor had said she wanted to talk about this, which told (Y/n) that this appointment wasn't quite over yet.

"I'd like to do an ultrasound, to see how far along you are. I think it would be wise to check now and then we can have a chat afterwards. If you drink these in the waiting room, and in about twenty minutes, I'll call you back for the scan. Okay?"

She found two bottles of water and placed them on the end of the desk. She didn't want (Y/n) to go home yet without talking through this or else she would be in shock. And it would be better to check how far along (Y/n) was so they could get a plan in place and make some more appointments. It was clear (Y/n) wasn't able to talk about this quite yet so a little while to calm down would do them both some good.

(Y/n) felt horrid walking on trembling legs as Eddie guided her down the hall towards the waiting room. She felt like she was moving on autopilot, shuffling towards the seats at the back of the open space, near the windows where they would be out of the way of the few other people sat waiting.

The moment she sat down, (Y/n) felt like melting into a puddle on the floor. Her arms coiled into her chest and her hands started to tremble as they knotted together on her lap.

Once Eddie set the water bottles down on the floor, he secured his left arm around her waist and gently reeled her back into his chest. Her head slumped onto his shoulder and Eddie pressed a soft, loving kiss to the top of her head.

"Amor?"

"I- I didn't know," She wasn't sure why she said that, it wasn't as if she had done anything wrong or as if having an inkling would have been a bad thing. But she didn't.

(Y/n) hadn't felt in tune with her body since the miscarriage and the thought of being pregnant again only six months after losing her baby made her shiver. She didn't want to lose another baby.

"I know. Here, try and drink this for me." Eddie leaned down and grabbed one of the water bottles and handed it over to her.

He leaned his cheek on top of her head while (Y/n) stayed leaning into his chest. There were no arm rests on the waiting room chairs so (Y/n) could lean close to Eddie until she was half lying on his lap, not that he minded at all. If anything, he tugged her closer and curled around her.

He was rather surprised that (Y/n) gulped down half the water in one go and he began gliding his hand up and down her waist, praying she wouldn't throw it all back up. That wouldn't do her any good and they couldn't have the scan unless her bladder was full.

(Y/n) finished the water in record time and reached down for the second one, but she began tapping it against her thigh for a few seconds rather than drinking it.

She felt Eddie hum into her hair, quietly checking if she was okay, and he felt his heart jumping up into his throat when he watched (Y/n). He watched her tilt her head down and move her hand to press her palm over her stomach like she didn't truly believe there might be a baby there.

"I have to keep this one safe."

Her words shattered something inside Eddie and he stayed unnaturally still and silent, letting her words sink in and burn through his heart like poison.

He didn't want her to think like that. He didn't want (Y/n) to think she had done something wrong last time, that she had somehow caused the miscarriage or that it had been her failing. She hadn't done anything wrong, and he prayed if she really was pregnant again, that the same fate wouldn't occur twice.

Silence befell them while (Y/n) downed the second bottle and burrowed into Eddie's chest until it felt like she was trying to submerge herself into his ribcage.

"(Y/n)." Doctor Piper stood in the hall and waved over towards them, beckoning the pair of them back over to her.

(Y/n) felt a bit more settled this time and alive on her feet when she got up. She cocooned both arms around her waist, feeling Eddie's hand on her lower back as they went down a different corridor towards the ultrasound rooms.

"If you'll take a seat for me and lift up your shirt." She pointed towards the bed in the middle of the room while she herself took a seat at the sonogram machine.

Turning to the right, (Y/n) looked up at Eddie and when she gingerly reached out for his hand and his expression softened. He entwined their hands and moved round to stand beside her as she laid on the bed and rolled up her shirt. She tugged down the hem of her leggings so her abdomen was on display; they had done this before, after all.

The uncomfortable feeling and the pressure was strangely familiar but (Y/n) tried to ignore the feeling as she looked at the screen. Part of her didn't want to see anything come up on the screen. She wanted it to stay blank, so there wasn't a second chance of heartbreak.

They hadn't talked about this.

Another baby so soon after the miscarriage hadn't been planned or prepared and (Y/n) didn't know if she would survive if anything happened to this baby- if she was truly pregnant.

But all she'd ever wanted was a family, and when she married Eddie, (Y/n) had thought about having his baby thousands of times. It was the only thing she wanted and that need intensified after she lost the baby. All she thought about was how she lost their baby and how they had been so close. (Y/n) wanted to have a baby in her arms, she wanted to be a proper wife and give Eddie children.

"Is- is that…" Eddie could feel his nerves going haywire as he leant his right arm over the back of the bed (Y/n) was laid on. He leaned over her, feeling her hand tighten in his other hand as he tried to get a better look at the screen and his eyes fell to the doctor who shared his apprehension.

"(Y/n), I know this is a shock, and I don't want to unsettle you any further, but-"

"What's wrong?" (Y/n)'s fingers clenched around Eddie's hand so tightly she cut off his circulation and made his arm jerk.

Oh God, what had she done? Had something gone wrong already? Had she lost a second baby, without even knowing she was pregnant in the first place?

Eddie's name tore past her lips as she leaned forward to try and squint at the screen to find out what he and the doctor were so concerned about. But she felt Eddie leaning to nudge her back down on the bed, not wanting her to get upset or panicked.

"You're expecting twins." The look on (Y/n)'s face must have shown that she didn't believe it because the doctor started to point at the screen. "Here we have baby A, and then here is baby B over here."

Two babies.

Two chances of losing another baby.

But what if this wasn't going to work out the same as last time? What if this was two chances at finally having a baby with Eddie, of making him a dad again and doing what she wanted to do. Be a proper wife and mother, have a baby this time instead of losing them. And this time she could have two babies. She could have two newborns to care for, as if her body was making up for the mistake that happened last time.

Surprise flooded Eddie's eyes when he looked down and found a small but nevertheless enchanting smile on (Y/n)'s lips. While her head was inclined and her eyes were focused on the screen.

"You seem to be around twelve weeks, babies are sharing one placenta which makes them identical. All looks good so far."

Once the sonogram was finally removed from her stomach, (Y/n) cleaned away the gel and pulled her shirt down while the doctor printed a few copies off for them.

She felt Eddie's hand on her back as she sat up straight and swung her legs over the side of the bed so she was sitting up properly, facing the doctor. All this news was swirling around in her head, making her extremely dizzy, but she knew it would all sink in soon. She hoped.

"Okay, I'll make a note on your file and put a referral through for antenatal care, you'll need a few extra appointments and scans from now on. And we can discuss getting a plan in motion for a planned, induced birth-"

"No- no." (Y/n) began to shake her head and before she really knew what she was doing, her hands moved to the edge of the bed and she pushed herself onto unsteady feet.

That was more than enough for today. She wasn't going to listen or discuss anymore of this, not now. It was far too early to be talking about any of that and (Y/n) wasn't going to listen when all it would do would serve to panic her. She wanted to go home. She wanted Eddie to take her home and wrap her up in his embrace and calm her down before she became too overwhelmed by it all.

"Baby-"

"No, I'm not- I'm not jinxing this- I might not get that far. I wanna go home."

She wasn't making plans and talking about the future when they were so early on. She wasn't taking that risk of jinxing this chance. If they talked about giving birth and sorting plans, then (Y/n) would probably lose them. She didn't want to tempt fate into repeating history.

(Y/n) was already stumbling towards the door before Eddie hurried to try and catch her up. He barely heard the doctor muttering that she would make the necessary referrals. Eddie knew they would call in a few days when they wanted to make the next appointment and it would be alright then. (Y/n) would have had the time for the news to sink in by then.

He hurried into the hall to catch up with (Y/n) and when he reached her, his arms cocooned around her waist to prevent her from running away in a panic. He reeled her into his chest and tucked his face into the crook of her neck while he leaned against the wall, keeping her here in the secluded corridor with him so they could calm down and talk without people watching.

"I- I can't…" (Y/n) wasn't sure what she was trying to say, but she closed her eyes and tilted her head down when her thoughts started to cloud her head.

She reached a trembling hand down to grasp Eddie's wrist and shakily moved his arm until his palm was pressing down on her abdomen. She felt the sharp breath he took and the way he pierced his teeth into her neck at the thought of having another baby- another two babies.

"S'okay, one day at a time, hm?"

***

Apprehension flooded Eddie's stomach and he paused in his tracks down the hall when he realised one of the bedroom doors was ajar. Specifically, the spare room.

He could feel his heart rocketing in his chest and causing his stomach to tighten like he was about to be sick.

He changed course and aimed for the spare room rather than their shared bedroom and hovered on the threshold, peering silently into the room. The spare room was more of a study. There were books lined on the shelves, some of Chris's old games tucked away in the cabinet, a computer Eddie and (Y/n) sometimes used for work and emails and such.

It was a nicnack room that collected spare things they didn't always use. And as of last year, it had collected items they had been getting ready for the baby. They had been just a few short weeks away from turning the study into a nursery.

Part of Eddie had been relieved they didn't get that far. He didn't know what he would of done if that room had been fully or even partially decorated when (Y/n) had the miscarriage. He would of probably locked the door and forbid anyone from going in there.

The cot was still flat-packed in the corner of the room in its box. A bag of clothes, blankets and a few odd bits they had bought was on top of the cabinet behind the door. Some odd teddies and bottles and items they had bought in advance were bagged in here somewhere.

Eddie barely came into the study unless he was tossing something in here to be forgotten about or searching for a particular game Chris wanted to play. And he knew (Y/n) didn't come in here often. Too many reminders.

His heartstrings yanked and stretched uncomfortably in his chest when he peered into the room and looked over at his wife.

With a deep breath, Eddie gently nudged the door open and headed into the room.

(Y/n) was knelt down on the carpet in the middle of the room, clearly lost in thought with whatever was laid out in front of her on the floor.

"What're you up to?" Eddie's voice was gentle and quiet and his head tilted to one side as he padded across and crouched down behind her. His hands found her hips and he settled on his knees, curving his chest around her back while his arms wove from her hips to lock around her middle.

His chin perched on her shoulder and his arms squeezed lovingly into her sides as he peered over to see what she was doing.

There was a bag in front of her. The bag that contained the clothes and onesies and blankets they had bought months ago for their first baby. She had a soft, knitted cream blanket in her hands with a teddybear stitched into the bottom corner. Her fingers were methodically rubbing over the material, creasing it between her hands like she was stuck in some kind of trance.

"Just looking through some stuff."

(Y/n)'s voice was oddly quiet and she couldn't bring herself to look away from the blanket in her hands.

She remembered Eddie's mum telling her a while ago that she still had some of Chris's things from when he was a baby. Shannon had left it at Eddie's parents house and they had kept most of the stuff as keepsakes. His mum, Helena, was going to bring some of the things down when they had planned to visit before the baby was born.

Of course, after the miscarriage, they had visited, but bringing Chris's baby things had been scrapped completely. They might have a reason to bring them down if they came to visit soon.

"And what're you thinking?"

When he didn't receive an answer, Eddie carefully unravelled one arm from around (Y/n)'s waist so he could press his fingertips beneath her chin. He tilted her head back and leaned closer until his nose nudged hers and his lips were hovering over hers.

(Y/n) was the one who inched closer and connected their lips, and she loved the way Eddie's fingers tickled her neck as he dragged his hand around to cradle the side of her neck.

"We'll need another cot." (Y/n) wasn't sure if she was trying to make a joke or if she was just listing off one of the many things circulating through her head at the moment.

She wasn't sure how long she had been in here, or why she came into the spare room in the first place. But once she caught sight of the bag, she couldn't help herself. She had to take a peek and look through the things she had forgotten about. (Y/n) forgot they had bought a few blankets, she thought it had only been some clothing and essentials like bottles and the cot. Everything had been bought in vain, of course. They got ahead of themselves.

They wouldn't be doing that again. (Y/n) wouldn't get anything or let her excitement get the better of her until she got these twins past a safe mark. Where she would be out of the time frame for a miscarriage, then she would let herself try and think ahead.

She felt the way Eddie's lips curved into a grin and his hand shifted back up to cup the side of her face where he could trace his fingertips along her cheek.

"I think we need to book that antenatal appointment, before we think about all the stuff we're gonna need. Don't you?"

Eddie was glad and somewhat relieved to see (Y/n) wasn't submerged in panic, expecting this to go wrong. He wanted them both to spend the next few months trying to enjoy this process and work through it, not live in haste and anxiety expecting something to go wrong.

"You'll come with me?" It was a request more than a statement because (Y/n) didn't think she could do it alone. She didn't want to be overwhelmed with everything the midwife was going to speel off to her and go through. At least having Eddie there would calm her down and he might be in more of a position to take in all the information better than (Y/n).

"You know I will." He stole another kiss from her lips before (Y/n) leaned her cheek on his shoulder and twisted around in his arms a little.

She kept her arms pinned into her waist and her hands lost in the blanket on her lap, but she tried to tuck herself more into Eddie's chest. She loved the way his lips merged with her temple and he began to smooth one hand up and down her stomach. Testing the waters, seeing if the touch was okay or not, and he continued when (Y/n) didn't object.

"There's things we can do, you know." He murmured against the top of her head, almost as if he was talking to himself.

"Hm?"

"To make sure things go differently this time. You get more appointments with twins, and exams. They'll keep checking the baby's positions, and we can get a safe date."

Eddie knew that whether they were having twins this time or not, (Y/n) would of been entitled to extra check-ups because she'd miscarried before. It would put (Y/n)'s mind at ease as well as make sure the midwives didn't miss anything and were reassured it wouldn't happen again.

At least with twins, (Y/n) got those extra check ups anyway and they would keep a closer eye on her. And she wouldn't feel like it was because she had miscarried before or that she was at risk of 'failing again'.

"Safe date?" (Y/n) pressed a kiss to the side of Eddie's neck, feeling the way he swallowed and craned his head back like he was gathering his thoughts.

"You don't usually reach full-term with twins or triplets. The doctor will pick us a date, a few weeks before your actual due date, and induce labour. It reduces the risks for you all."

The thought of a planned labour was very calming to Eddie. It meant no waiting around, walking on egg shells for labour to happen. No panicking that something would go wrong or that (Y/n) would go into labour and they might struggle to get her to the hospital on time.

Reaching full term with a multiple pregnancy was highly unlikely and it was risky. It was safer to have the baby up to five or six weeks before the due date.

They could go to the hospital on their scheduled day, have labour actively induced and then have their babies on a schedule. It meant Eddie would certainly be by (Y/n)'s side from the very beginning, he could put in his leave at work. There would be no risk of him being stuck on shift while (Y/n) was in labour and she wouldn't have to panic.

"As long as I reach that date. I'll do anything they say." (Y/n) tilted her head down, tucking her cheek into Eddie's chest as she snuggled into him like she was about to go to sleep.

She would do whatever the doctor and midwife told her to. She would have a planned birth. She would go on bed rest if they told her, she would take vitamins and be careful. (Y/n) would do anything if it meant that she would actually reach their planned date and have their babies safely.

She didn't want to lose anymore babies.

She felt Eddie's arm tighten around her waist while his other hand cupped her neck, cradling her into his chest while his lips merged with the top of her head. He began to sway them from side to side, humming into her hair every now and then.

"It'll be different this time, amor. I just know it."