#The mind is a wonderful thing
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Hi I'm curious, what TMA entity would I be an avatar for?
I love TMA and to solve my mental problems I obviously have to insert myself into it. But like I have no clue which entity really makes me go "that's so me" ya'know?
Because I have a massive fear of death, I feel uncomfortable in my own skin and can't recognize myself when looking in the mirror, I feel like my brain is tricking me a lot, I cry when thinking about how insignificant we are compared to the universe and life, and I don't like people leaving me.
But I also love weighted blankets/stuff animals, I tend to lie a lot, I love gore/horror movies, love cannibalism a a metaphor for love, I really like to chew/bite things (like my skin and other people), I LOVE watching people but hate being watched, love the look of overgrown vines and moss, love drawing eyes on any possible suface , I love the sky and the ocean, and I think fire is really pretty.
So does it depend on my fears or what makes me comfortable? Help, the autism is strong with this I want answers.
(It's been a while since I've re-listened to TMA, so sorry if the answer is obvious)
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this whole oceangate submarine fiasco has actually led to a lot of interesting talks and debates about the grey area of human empathy vs the inclination to recoil at the bizarre behaviors of the ultra wealthy and how people struggle with both ideas and is actually very interesting to watch play out in different types of people
#like some people are on polar opposite sides where they have no empathy for the passengers and have moved on#while others are in tears over the likely death of these people#well everyone else in the middle is struggling compartmentalizing both at once in their minds#yes for this wondering I do have submarine fever this is the most fascinating thing that’s happened in a long time#oceangate#titanic
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ok i drew both of them now
#marvel mcu#xmen movies#xmen#xmen first class#xmen apocalypse#xmen dofp#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#can we tell i was just gonna leave these b/w but changed my mind last minute#i have silly things planned for them so im practicing and i have found michael fassbender has a wonderful face to draw#i think the funniest bit about the erik pile is i really just wanted to draw his stupid little ascot from dofp#but i didnt even fackin do that. oh well !!!! just have to draw erik again then#do i have anything else to say. no LMAO ok bye
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no, but pinecones is really beautiful isn't it ?
#perfect kind of flowers for fae kind who probably feels that flowers die in 0.1 sec bcs of their long life#imagine making mal a pine cone flower wreath and he is so happy with it; that if yuu ever think of selling it king mal mal would order it#for every house in the valley; so everyone has one in their house as new kind of briar valley culture & tradition fhsdh#twst#twisted wonderland#sebek zigvolt#twst yuu#twst mc#twst grim#fanart#i wonder if sebek can see the pinecones as beautiful too#well sebek is weak at subjective thing like art; he might only be able to see things as it is#but he might take on some things from poet or romantic genre books; so i wonder what he sees#i know a fellow who absolutely can't see what i see; i feel like his brain is like a white digital sci fi cube that is clean#and looking so minimalistic it looks like it can only process logical things like numbers#it's so weird that some people don't actually process things by imagining a lot of other things visually in their mind
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this is the inside of my brain rn
future edit: heres some nsfw ok
#thank you to the really really wonderful and cool pshmirtzers who say nice things when im h**ny on main#no really it makes me feel so evil and happy. my people#draws#my human perry tag#its just like oh i can draw perry as a hot human guy dont mind if i do. 500 times
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the first thing every dick grayson writer has to keep in mind is that he is defined by his kindness. second thing is that he’s an asshole. third thing is that he’s so, so angry. fourth thing is that he loves donna hinckley stacy troy more than life itself.
#dick grayson#batman#batfam#dc#donna troy#wonder twins#some writers lately (PAST DECADE) haven’t kept these things in mind. and it. SHOWS.#like. i do believe that if you write a dick grayson story and it’s a version where#he DOESNT love and trust donna troy more than anyone in the universe. it’s fundamentally out of character. you feel?#sorry reading who is donna troy issue has made me emotional#he loves her!! SO much!!!!! he would do anything for her!!!!!!
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I wonder if you look both ways (When you cross my mind) pt. 2
pt. 1 pt. 3
🐝・゚ ・゚·:。・゚゚・✦ʚɞ
June 1996, Chicago
Steve doesn’t exactly know when Eddie Munson became one of his best friends, let alone when he fell in love with him.
He supposes both things occurred between the end of the world, and Eddie’s back walking out the door for the last time, unbeknownst to anyone. Though, that is five years of time, who’s to say when it really happened.
Dustin will argue the friend part. He likes to think it was he who brought them together (it certainly wasn’t; in fact, it put a real bump in the road for them). Dustin also thinks, which Steve is more inclined to think is true, that the two of them had become friends during Eddie’s slow recovery and Steve’s guilt complex, which made him feel responsible for him.
Which—ouch, Dustin—but years of therapy would prove him right.
Little shit.
Dustin doesn't know about the love part, though, and Steve doesn’t think much of the party knows except for one or two of the perceptive ones.
Looking at you, Lucas.
Robin likes to argue that Steve doesn’t know when he fell in love with Eddie because Eddie was different from everyone else.
Steve puts everything into love, moves fast, falls hard, and ultimately gets crushed by his own passion. Steve doesn’t know how to take things slow or wait around for the right person.
Until he did, with Eddie.
Steve managed to have a slow decent into the madness of loving a man like Eddie Munson. And he never did anything about it, although he didn't mind. Steve was okay with just being friends and loving from afar.
Until they weren't even that, and Eddie was gone.
Steve can't think about that now, instead he should probably worry about the man himself breaking into his apartment at 3 a.m.
"Get. Out." Robin hisses, breaking Steve from his thoughts.
Suddenly, Eddie stands. His hands thrust forward in a placating nature, and nervous energy radiates off of him. "Robin, please—"
"No, Munson. You don't get to disappear from our lives for five years, and then break into our apartment!" Robin whisper shouts, the metal bat waving around in her grip.
Steve still hasn't said anything, still unsure of any of it is really happening. But he can't help but warm at Robin's fierceness.
She will go down swinging for Steve, even against someone she cares about.
Fuck, he loved her.
"Give me one good reason not to bash your skull in with this thing, Munson. I dare you!" Robin took the metal bat and pushed it into Eddie's chest.
Steve gets a good look at him as he stumbles backward. He doesn't look much different—well that's a lie. He does look different; more tattoos, more piercings and Steve is pretty surprised to catch him wearing anything other than a band tee. It is just so all quintessentially Eddie. The jewelry is all silver, any tattoo he got after 1986 appears to be in black and red ink only. Even his tee is still black despite the lack of a band on the front.
"Birdie, I don't think you should have Steve's bat in your hands, you're a bit dangerous." Eddie tries to grab the bat from her hands but Robin yanks it back.
"Oh, fuck you, Munson! You don't get to call me Birdie, and this is my bat. Steve's is wooden and full of nails and underneath his bed. You should know that, or has the last five years really rotted your brain?" Robin is now waving the bat around with gusto, nearly missing Steve's head at one point.
Trying to shake himself from his frozen state, Steve decides it is probably in everyone's best interest if he steps in.
"Robs." Steve speaks gently, hand on the bat as he slowly lowers it down. Her shoulders drop, the fight draining out of her in seconds. "It's okay."
It's not okay. Steve doesn't understand what's happening right now. But Steve is okay as long as he has Robin, and Robin has him. Steve hopes she understands that's what he meant.
Robin nods her head, and shuffles closer to him.
Steve takes a shaky breath, "What are you doing here, Munson?"
Eddie cringes at the use of his last name but doesn't comment. "Listen, I know it's weird me just stopping by suddenly—"
Robin snorts, "I wouldn't exactly call breaking in 'stopping by'."
Eddie shakes his head, ignoring her. Stray curls start to fall loose from their bun. "I just want to talk, for you guys to hear me out."
Steve rubs a hand down his face, he is getting too old for this stuff. Being blindsided, being surprised—being thrown sideways and upside down. Sure, twenty-nine isn't exactly old, but Steve has lived practically six different lifetimes by now. There is so much damage to him—physically and emotionally. He is supposed to be past nonsense like this.
Robin takes his silence as permission to snip at Eddie, "No. Go away, Eddie. You don't get to do that. Get out."
Eddie moves a step forward, he is now illuminated completely by the side table's light. He looks tired—good but tired. It's not the kind of tired you see of someone in distress, not the ache that comes along in the tunnel that has no light in the end. No, Eddie looks tired in the way that comes with healing. Like working hard exhaustion. As if coming home from a long but good day at work, and the night grows weary.
Eddie opens his mouth to argue, but Steve cuts him off. "It's fine, Robbie. It's late; let him crash on the couch."
Eddie's shoulders sag in relief, "Thanks, Stevie, we can talk—"
"No." Steve chokes out, moving his hand towards his throat so he can remember to breathe. "You don't get to call me that. And we're not talking about anything. You'll sleep here, but that's it. I might not want you here, but it doesn't mean I'm going to let you wander the streets at night."
"Steve, please—" Eddie reaches out his hands to touch Steve. It is most likely going to be a gentle touch, but Steve can't help the way he violently flinches.
Eddie looks taken aback, eyes wide and full of sadness. He pulls his hands back.
"No, Eddie." Steve grabs Robin's hand and starts to pull her to bed. She doesn't protest and instead leans into his touch. Steve turns over his shoulder to look at Eddie again. "You'll stay the night. It's not an option. But my morning? I want you gone. I don't want you to be the first thing I see after sunrise."
Steve turns quickly back around, ignoring the pained grunt from behind him.
Bypassing Robin's bedroom, Steve pulls them both into his. Robin doesn't question it and instead makes herself comfortable in his forest green blankets.
Steve quickly follows after, snuggling into the bed beside her. People have thought them weird over the years—always in each other's spaces and knowing every little thing about each other. Partners, friends, family—all of them had something to say about it, never even bothering to understand.
Well, except Eddie. Eddie appreciated it, accepted it. Adored it at times.
"Are you really okay with this, Dingus?" Robin whispers softly between them.
"No." Steve never lies to Robin; she'll know. "Not at all, but I'm not going to let him wander the streets, no matter what I loved him at some point. I don't let the people I loved, get hurt."
Robin squints in pity, "Loved?"
"Not now, Bobbie," Steve whispers.
Robin nods, "Besides, I'm pretty sure 'Ed Sloane' can afford a fucking hotel room."
Steve lets out a loud snort, it echoes throughout the room. "God, don't remind me. What a stupid fucking name."
The two of them dissolve into giggles, bumping their heads together. Under the covers, they clasp their hands together tight. "I just don't want you to derail your life, for someone who walked so easily out of it. I know you have that important lunch with Drew tomorrow."
Steve takes a breathe through his nose, "Yea, I do. But it'll be fine. He'll be gone before I'm even up. You know Eds, he's a runner. Wouldn't stop trying to prove it, in fact."
Robin's face is scrunched in pain, and her eyes pool with pity. It's as if she knows something Steve doesn't or sees something he chooses to ignore. She doesn't comment on it, though. Instead, she raises an eyebrow, "Eds?"
It isn't snippy or accusing. Her voice is soft against his cheek. Steve doesn't have the mental capacity to argue though. "G'night, Birdie."
"Goodnight, Stevie." She whispers.
Steve closes his eyes, knowing it will all feel like a dream tomorrow.
Steve is familiar with having dreams with Eddie in them.
🐝・゚ ・゚·:。・゚゚・✦ʚɞ
more to come i promise, especially after your (loving demands). especially my mutuals who yelled at me in the tags and my dm's (it made my day).Part 3 is currently being typed up. Also might fuck around and make this a full-blown ao3 one shot; who knows.
tag list!:
@stevesbipanic @withacapitalp @emryyyyy09 @brainfugk @blueberrylemontea-fanfic
@slv-333 @thetinymm @connected-dots-st-reblogger @helpimstuckposting @dreamercec
@goodolefashionedloverboi @stripey82 @little2nerdy @anne-bennett-cosplayer @resident-gay-bitch
@ghostquer @sourw0lfs @devondespresso
(please let me know if you don't want a tag, I had to guess by the comments, and sorry if you’re getting a random tag after posting, I had to fix the tag list cause tumblr is weird)
#okay so now it is a thing#no more idk i promise#also this has a happy ending i promise#steddie#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#robin buckley#my writing#platonic stobin#platonic soulmates stobin#stobin#platonic with a capital p#steve and robin#I wonder if you look both ways (When you cross my mind)#ao3#ficlet#angst#hurt/comfort
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"Once you take an illithid by the talon, there's no telling how deep into the abyss it might drag you." (for @theemperorweek)
#the emperor#bg3 emperor#bg3edit#the emperor week#emperor week#gamingedit#baldur's gate 3#illithid#mind flayer#bg3#videogames#the talons have dragged me deep into the abyss indeed#one of my durges making a surprise visit say hello#i love the emperor week idea i love my fave being celebrated#i hope everyone has a wonderful time and everyone gets to share and see wonderful things!#(NO i'm not saying the tadpoling squid is emps because we don't knoooow but i needed illithid claws for my gifset)#*gif
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batfam as things my friends and i have said pt. 4
warnings: suggestive jokes, mentions of tax fraud??? and not a lot of brain cells
pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3
< prev | m.list
#mind you the person who said the korea thing was in fact european#jason todd#jason todd hcs#red hood#bruce wayne#bruce wayne hcs#batman hcs#wayne family adventures#wfa webtoon#stephanie brown#spoiler dc#tim drake#red robin#tim drake hc#aquaman#superman#superbat#clark kent x bruce wayne#wonder woman#diana prince#batfam hcs#dc batfam#incorrect quotes#batman incorrect quotes#batfam incorrect quotes#red hood headcanon
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I think this is one of my favorite lines from the Wraith route because of (imo) how much the meaning changes depending on if you got there via Spectre or Nightmare. For Spectre, it honestly strikes me as a genuine question. Why are you doing this to her? If you're on the Spectre route, you presumably already know the Narrator can't really be trusted, since you had to reject his reward to get here. What are you hoping to gain from continuing to hurt her? For Nightmare, it honestly just makes me sad. As the Shifting Mound describes her, "She desires only companionship, but the only thing she knows is how to hurt." This line feels like a plea from someone who genuinely doesn't understand why you keep rejecting her. She wants to be with you, but she just can't understand how to do that in a way which doesn't hurt you.
#at the risk of getting put on a list there is something tragic & relatable in nightmare#someone who desperately wants to make connections but just can't understand how#anyway wraith is one of my favorite princesses for stuff like this (and bc tragedy aside her route is a riot)#also im sorry if she doesn't say that line if you got there via nightmare#that's how i got her and i could've sworn she did? But i only found footage of her saying it in spectre#slay the princess#stp#stp wraith#the wraith#stp spectre#stp nightmare#side note archetypal/heart#(slash so i don't accidentally tag them)#pointed out on another post of mine that you get wraith via nightmare by killing her and via spectre by leaving her in the basement#in both cases its a rejection of her (rejection being one of wraith's main themes)#which makes me speculate on spectre's ch 3 (which i think we currently have very little info on?)#Trying to run from Nightmare should technically be a 'rejection' as well#but you get MOC from that (and from choosing to stay with her)#imo bc you're just repeating the same inaction which got you into this situation in the first place#you don't want to slay her. you don't want to set her free. So you just leave her there (again)#and so you get MOC where things have only gotten worse and you have no choice left. Because you chose *not* to take action again#So I wonder if spectre 3 will be a similar 'repeating your past mistakes' type of deal#i was skeptical about it coming from stabbing yourself while she possesses you or trying to crush her bones#but it does make sense with that in mind#im curious if it'll parallel MOC#except instead of having no choice but to free the princess you have no choice but to obey the narrator again#maybe you both end up stuck in the cabin forever again?#idk#sorry i probably should've put all of that tag in the post lmao
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#demifiend#Demi fiend#Demi-fiend#too many ways this fucker spells his name. MAKE UP YOUR MIND#smt nocturne#naoki kashima#if you’re wondering what the thing in the bottom left corner is I gave him a tail and this is from a cropped drawing.#the full version of which will probably never see the light of day
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I don't hold grudges, that anger feeds into self-loathing instead.
#messyr#vent art#vent post#just confusing things I wanted to get out#as much as i want to 'hate' them- i cant#no matter how bad they get- i always forgive them and it hurts. But why does it feel wrong to feel hurt- that i'm not supposed to feel hurt#my mind has been altered so much idfk what to think and feel abt sometimes LMAO#one of those birds in a gilded cage AHAHA#learned helplessness#bpd#sometimes i wonder if i get out of this cycle of abuse
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“yes sir, i’ll have her “your daughter calls home by 9pm.” me daddy too.”
#i wonder how it felt for emily to leave for three years and come back to Her#the change in her whole demeanour is palpable#remember when i used to post serious things#jennifer jareau#jj jareau#jennifer jj jareau#this probably lines up funny on desktop i didn’t check#criminal minds#criminal minds gif#luthqrs#luthqrscm#luthqrsgifs#crim s2#crim s9#cm 2x22#legacy#cm 9x20#blood relations
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"no..." she quickly interjected, "that isn't what i meant. i meant i-" i was just trying to say, i'm scared to lose you. but the words get caught in her throat when this sudden announcement he's leaving bombards her out of nowhere and causes bambi eyes to go wide. like a deer caught in headlights, all that she registers from that is he's going far away from here. "what? you're leavin'? here?" it was a shock, because of the way they'd grown up together. they always said their calling was their love for horses and all l.ucy g.ray has ever known b.illy b.onney as this cute little cowboy since the first second she saw him. even though, they both had expressed love for performing arts. it just didn't seem like everything was right in the world if billy was anything other than dedicated to his love for horses and being on their farms. like her. they had talked about it so many times, she just didn't expect this giant twist to erupt out of nowhere. "i mean... that's... that's wonderful. i'm proud and real happy for you." she always knew he was exceptionally smart and this is an amazing opportunity, she wasn't selfish. but they were like peanut butter and jelly, inseparable, attached at the hip. she wasn't grasping how she was just going to not have him around anymore. "if that's where you're goin'... why did you do that anyway?" kiss her. wasn't that just cruel? what if she hadn't had fear of ruining their bond and acted on what her heart really wanted to do? what then? he was just going to abandon her?
continued.
#are we going to mix this verse in with our hs verse we had too? or🤔#if so- this could just be the events AFTER hs has ended for them#so it could be easier to keep up with?? but also ! its ok if u would like to do a whole separate verse for that too !! just suggesting-#things and also wondering myself what u had in mind !#dont be afraid to say no bc im good with either <3#also i love how these are the words that she'll never get out until she sees him again omg :))) pain. weeping. throwing up !!#lucygraysboy
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It's a little fascinating to think about your own life when you've known you're nonhuman for a long while now. I guess looking back knowing you lived and experienced life so differently from so many folks around you is both a wonderful experience and a lonely experience; that until you find your own circles but regardless
School, gatherings, events, simple life as a child to a teen to an adult, everything you experienced as an animal, machine, creature,,, as not human. What an experience
#⸻���txt.#⸻🌿coyote.talk.txt#⸻👾machine.talk.txt#this was written with a lonely heart in mind but half way through writing it i found some beauty in it too#it is an experience - can be good can be bad can be indifferent can be everything and all things#- for me it was everything awful and wonderful#therian#holothere#otherkin#nonhuman#alterhuman#physically nonhuman
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mommy let you use her ipad, you were barely two
and it did all the things we designed it to do
now look at you, look at you!
(objectober 2024 day 10: internet)
#dandy's doodles#inanimate insanity#ii#ii steve cobs#ii mephone#ii spoilers#ii 16 spoilers#objectober#objectober 2024#okay i'll be honest. the final drawing barely fits the prompt#however! it was inspired by it#'internet' immediately made me think of 'welcome to the internet' by bo burnham#and my mind instantly jumped to 'and it did all the things we designed it to do'#and y'know... steve cobs designed mephone to be able to create things#and so in a way mephone is fulfilling his purpose by creating the contestants#he's fulfilling his purpose by doing what his dad did#and then that made me think of the garden of eden story#where god creates both adam and the tree of knowledge#he tells adam not to eat its fruit and yet adam inevitably does; thus adam gains free will#and one has to wonder if that was god's intention all along - for humans to have free will#whereby adam - through the apparent defiance of god - is able to become exactly what he was created for#and y'know... mephone making his show as a rebellion against cobs...#only for that very show to be a creation borne of his intended purpose#so yeah. my mind jumped from bo burnham to the biblical creation of man#anyway!! very very happy with how this turned out#my favorite part is the charger snakes. i'm so glad i came up with that idea#also cobs' arm! that turned out really well! i referenced my own hand for his!!#in any event... it turns out i really really like biblical imagery and symbolism huh#also yes i did stay up all night like a maniac drawing this. the idea came to me and i just had to see it through :D i'm glad i did
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