#i have silly things planned for them so im practicing and i have found michael fassbender has a wonderful face to draw

[xxplastic-cubexx]

ok i drew both of them now

[unlikelyempathpruneauthor]

Always and forever

summary: Fans see you and Calum cuddled together in a video and they wonder who the mystery girl is.

a/n: the video they posted of all of them in their studio “announcing” the fifth album. Also I love how Michael announced they're making an album just like that haha. Also I'm writing this as if the pandemic wasn't even a thing because it's more fun that way haha, also reader is known by hanging out with Sierra and the guys. This is my first calum fic so feedback is always acceptable

You and the girls were all invited to come to the guy’s studio to check out and see them make the beginning of their new album, you were so excited for them and you and the girls would be standing behind them and supporting them on the new album.

You were getting ready while Cal waited for you downstairs, you didn't dress up that much, you only wore one of Cal's hoodies and a pair of jeans. You knew you were gonna be there for a while so you were gonna dress comfortably. You always liked seeing cal do his thing, you admired how passionate he was when it came to his work. As you walked down the stairs you noticed Cal was laying on the couch looking at his phone so you joined him as he took you in his arms.

“Are you ready to go?” he said as you looked up at him and nodded.

“Yeah I am, I'm excited for you guys.” you said with a smile as he pulled you in for a kiss.

“Thank that means a lot, I'm glad I have you here with me, I mean you are my inspiration after all.” he said you giggled and he pulled you in for a small cuddle.

“You know i'll always be here for you, always.” you said muffled as you two cuddled on the couch before leaving your place.

You were one of the many people Calum cared for, he always thought that he would never fall in love again, but with you it was different, he was able to be more than himself when you were with him. You allowed his mind to be open with you. To even add more to this story, you thought you wouldn't love again as well, you were heartbroken so many times as well, and well when you met cal, you two probably fell in love with one another the first time you two laid eyes on one another. You two met as if you were normal people, well you were introduced by Luke’s girlfriend, but nonetheless you met as normal people.

As you arrived you hung out with Sierra, while the boys were doing their warm up and a little while after KayKay and Crystal showed up and the gang was pretty much there.You and the girls were always here to support your guys, it was practically tradition, but this was a nice thing to do, since not everyday you see everyone. As much as you missed the boys you missed your girls. 

The cameras then started to roll for a small announcement for the fans to see, it wasn't official yet, but the guys wanted to place a nice presence in the video for the fans to guess what they were up to. Which is why you chose the traditional hoodie and jeans because you knew fans would assume its you and you hoped this disguise worked since you and cal haven't gone official, or so you thought.

When the boys were kinda stuck they called a break the guys all went to their gals and cal walked over to your on the couch and cuddled you as you kissed him. “How's it going rockstar?” you asked as he looked over at you with a smile as he placed a kiss on your lips and he got comfortable with you.

“Pretty good, got some good lyrics in and a couple of new tunes.” he said as he moved to be the little spoon and he took his beanie off so you could play with his hair, this was one of the many things he likes when he needed inspiration or relax, mainly both but you were happy to do so. “Hey, that's good bubs, I'm happy it's going well, I'm proud of you.” you said he looked at you in awe and just couldn't believe how lucky he was.

For him he always found inspiration for lyrics in moments like these. No matter how small or big the moments were, there was always some sort of feeling he felt, it was more than love. He never felt this way ever in his life before, he knew he would follow you everywhere and you would do the same.

“Im making another song about you,” cal said as you looked down at him again, you loved that he made you songs, but you knew his fans would probably like to hear different songs. “Cal you don't have to, you should focus on what your fans like.” you said as he looked up at you with a pout, “babe, the fans would love you once they know, and besides its pretty official, the boys love it.” he said as you giggled, “Don't worry about that love, besides my fans probably like you more than me and they don't even know yet.” he said as you two laughed a little and your cuddle sesh continued before he had to go back in.

After a couple more hours of the boys working and you guys getting to listen to some of the music they had come up with, you were very excited to hear the final cut. You were proud of the progress they all made, you knew the final cut would turn out great.

You all said their goodbyes and hopped to see them again for another meet up session. You and Cal went home and did your normal night routine, you would watch another movie or a couple episodes of a show you were currently watching. Then you would eat some dinner, you either made something small or you ordered some food. After you eat you would head up to your shared room and do your skincare, you two always loved doing it together, especially sheet face masks, those were your favorite and he always had a couple pictures of you two, but mainly you.

This was pretty much “normal” about your lives, and he cherished them everyday, especially when he was away on tour, he would always look back at your silly pictures together and remember that you were always going to be there waiting for him. You missed him as well when he was away and you were grateful you had a part of him, which was duke, you would take him on walks and little small picnic dates which you later showed cal, which he loved how you would take care of him while he was away. He was practically your son, but you didn't know that was your title, it was a secret between cal and duke.

As the morning hit you woke up with cal’s arms around you as you looked over at him seeing his sleepy self. You knew that these sessions took up a lot of energy internally since he was creating music for everyone to hear. You enjoyed seeing him sleeping peacefully. You snuggled closer to him as you kissed his jaw and he started to wake up a little.

“Good morning love” he said with his morning voice as you two kissed one another, “Good morning, how'd you sleep bubs?” you said as duke had climbed in between you too as you kissed duke, “pretty good as usual i had you in my arms.” he said as you looked up to him with a smile.

The first night you two spent the night together, you both fell asleep instantly, the things that were planned for the rest of the night had been swiped away, but you two enjoyed being with one another even if you were just sleeping. You two helped one another sleep, you couldn't remember the last time you actually had a good night's sleep. When calum was away, he couldn't sleep and he would be so tired when he would come home, which he felt bad for because he wanted to spend the day with you, but you always insisted on him to rest and that you would be by his side when he woke up since you too were tired and needed him by your side.

As you were eating breakfast, the video their team worked on was posted, it was very simple, nothing too complex about it. Cal knew his team was amazing so he was gonna wait to see it once it was posted by one of the guys.

His phone then started to blow up, first it was twitter, then it was instagram. Your phone then too started to ring. You both looked at one another with a quite confused look, cal picked his phone up and then he saw the video that his team posted, it looked so good to him, but when he went to the comments, he saw people were tagging you as you were seeing that as well on your phone.

@5sosforever3CALM: OMG thats literally @y/n! OMG OMG

@5sosupdates: CAL HAS A GIRL, SIERRA PROBABLY GOT THEM TOGETHER

@lukemikeycalash: HOLD UP IS THAT @y/n????

@caldreams: YALL REALLY OUT HERE POSTING THIS WITH NO CONTEXT

He went back to the video and looked at it closely, and there was a clip of the two of you on the couch having your small moment. Your face wasn't clear to the camera, but how did they know? Your hair was showing and your nose, but how could they get that from one clip? He looked at his tagged photos and saw that they were comparing you side to side with your side profile.

“Oh no, our fans are literally FBI agents, how did they get that from one picture?” Cal said as you giggled, then saw Luke's contact appear and you answered it.

“Hey.” you said with a giggled, “hey, have you seen the comments?” he asked as cal answered, “yeah we saw, but how do they know it's her?” he said as those two kept going back and forth. “So should i ask out team to delete it?” he asked as you shook your head, “Luke it's fine, i'm not that bothered, doing nothing will just let them make up other theories.” you said as you were calm the outside, but you were freaking out on  the inside.

“Are you sure?” cal asked as you nodded, “yeah i am, as long as you're okay with it.” you said as he nodded and you said goodbye to luke and you two continued your breakfast.

You sat on the couch after breakfast and did your normal thing, you knew Cal was freaking out because he was still on his phone trying to see if the fans were coming up with new theories, but no they were stuck on it. He was freaking out because he wanted you to feel comfortable, you both agreed on keeping your relationship private, but you knew once it was out of the bag people would find out.

“Cal, if you want we can announce it officially.” you said as he looked over at you with a smile. He had been wanting to go official years back, but he respected you and well he liked keeping your relationship private, since most things in his life were already out there. He wanted something serious with you and he wanted this to do it right.

“Really? Are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured because the fans are figuring it out.” he said as you nodded, “yes cal, besides you looked stressed out, we've been together for 5 years and besides like you said hopefully they'll like me.” you said as he shook his head, “no they're going to love you as much as i love you.” he said as the both of you had pulled up pictures of the two of you and captioned it, “Alright done, ready?” he asked as you nodded,“3...2….1!” he said as you both posted the pictures and you had turned off your phones. You knew it would be blowing up in minutes, so today was going to be spent with one another. 

The next morning you woke up by a duke who had climbed into the bed as you saw Cal was missing, he probably had gotten up to make breakfast,“Hey duke, where's your dad huh.” you said as you held him in your arms as you walked towards the kitchen where cal had been preparing the table for you guys to eat. “Hey rockstar, what's this for?” you asked as you placed duke down and cal placed his hands on your jaw and you moved in to a kiss, as you smiled through it.

“Just wanted to make my lady some breakfast.” he said as you saw him being all cheeky and you grinned at him, almost making him blush, “Well this is nice, does it have to do with what we did yesterday?” you said as he nodded with a slight grin,“Depends on what you’re talking about” he asked as he smirked at you slapped his arm playfully. You two had gotten in the mood and well it's probably best to keep it a secret.

“Cal! Not in front of duke.” you said as you two laughed and nodded, “well i liked what we did after the post, but yeah the fans reacted well.” he said as you smiled seeing him so happy, “I'm glad, wait what picture did you post?” you asked as you got your phone and clicked on instagram, “just a couple of us and one of duke,” he said as you nodded and looked through. The first one was of the two of you two on your first date, which was one of the many dates you had after going out, but this one was your first date as boyfriend and girlfriend. The second one was a picture of the two of you asleep on the tour bus, when you had tagged along with them since you had free time saved up and cal loved that you were there, he was able to see you everyday, even when he was preforming and you were in the crowd.

“Where did you get that one of us on the bus?” you asked in awe of that picture, “the guys took it after the show and they later sent it to me,” he said with a smile as you swiped to the next photo. This was a picture of you when Cal and the guys were nominated for an award and even won and he brought it home to you and took a silly picture with the award. the next one was the first night you spent together and you were doing sheet face masks, that's how it all got started. And the last one was a picture of you and duke when you first met, duke was all over you and was happy to finally meet you. You remembered all of these moments clearly, they were moments you cherished the most. You then looked at the caption and cal had seen your eyes trailing the text waiting to see you reaction.

@calumhood: i guess you guys figured it out, so here it is. This is my soulmate, my person and Duke's mom. I never thought i would love again, but the day i met her i was already falling for her and well she's the best thing that has ever happened to me and of course our pup Duke. The day she came into mine and duke’s life we were blessed. She inspires me to be a better person and artist everyday and is the inspiration to all of the music I write for the band, so you can thank her for our records. She is one of the many people I love in life and I hope you can love her the same way I do. Duke and I  love you forever and always. @y/n <3

You looked up at him with small tears in your eyes and a smile. He looked over at you and saw you were crying as he was worried he didn't expect you to cry.

“Hey, you okay? What's wrong? Did someone say something?” he asked as you nodded, “yeah you did,” you said with a smile showing him the caption he wrote and he smiled and gave you a hug. You then cut your moment short and looked at Duke and back at him,“I'm Duke's mom?” you asked as he looked at you in awe and nodded, “yeah of course you are, you always were, probably since the first day you spent the night. He was pretty bummed out after you left.” he said as he remembered that day his pup was missing their favorite girl.

“Aw cal, all i wrote in the caption was a heart,” you said as he shook his head, “love, you show me everyday how much you love me, especially when we were away, this was my way to show you as well, but i'm not stopping there, i will show you everyday how much you mean to duke and i, but especially me. I meant what I said, forever and always.”  he said as you kissed him and duke had wanted some in on this moment.

You two who never believed in soulmates or even love yet you both found it again. The love you two have was something you couldn't describe with words. It was out of this universe to be quite frank with you. You were soulmates lost, and once found, you were happy with one another, your love was strong, any other couple would have broken up when their significant other was away, but the both of you were different. Different but perfect for one another. Cal knew that once you were in his life he would do his very best to keep you in his life forever and always.

[yetanother-ti-ne]

Goodbye.

Do I need to say anything else?

I will though. I think the golden age of internet Cognitive Functions is gone. I came for thoughtful discussion, good posts, ideas, content. I don’t think its really present though. I don’t think that matters for me though, because I learned what I needed to learn.

But its still hard, because I think there’s more to learn, and honestly understanding functions the way I do is a lonely path- to whom can I talk to? Where do I go when I want to make a lame joke about Ni? or whatever function, for that matter- there’s really nobody in my actual life. Anonymity has its price.

Its that discussion, that connection, that I haven’t found, in the way I used to, anywhere else. Everything is just poopposts and memes. I personally hate it. Others seem to like it, look Im not against it, but it takes its toll on the community- you lose the authenticity and move towards astrology and buzzfeed test land. You lose the people who wanted answers, but now can’t find them in a community overrun by mediocrity. It’s just the truth. The individual hurdle of doing sincere research can’t be overcome without somebody to help, so if people are forced to make it alone and the guidance becomes more obscured- the result is self explanitory.

Look I don’t know this for certain but things aren’t like they were. But whether I’m wrong or right with this, I don’t really care, my point isn’t to soapbox, Its more just an explanation for anybody who might care enough to read this far in my post. For the over 1000 people who are following me, somehow, because there actually only seem to be a handful of people who actually see this.

And its not the attention or publicity, I think its just saddening for me- because I initially intended this blog as an authentic attempt to help spread good information. In hindsight, that was stupid, because nobody is going on tumblr for legitimate information, silly me, I should have known- but how things have turned out now is proof of that, I believe.

I guess its more of an expression of disappointment for my expectations of what I had anticipated. And the acceptance that for me, its time to move on. Sort of a declaration of defeat, that this whole, thing, blog thing, is dead. And also that in theory it was also maybe a bad idea from the start.

That doesn’t mean I won’t post again, or I’m personally done with functions. On the contrary, I think there’s more to learn, specifically in practice. And I also am considering transitioning to youtube. Its about time somebody made good videos on youtube. Michael Pierce is good, but he’s pretty lonely next to the other NT theorists, I don’t follow it enough to know the community. But... seems like a kind of mediocre thing you know.

I might not be permanently ‘gone’ per se, but this is kind of an unofficial official declaration that you may as well consider this blog inactive.

Not that it really matters though.

However, I will be posting about future updates, so you probably will hear from me again, in the event I make another project. Which, btw, I have a couple in mind. But for now, and with this one, yeah its done.

Anyway, this felt better rather than just leaving without notice.

If you still want to hear from me somehow, DM me. Otherwise,

Adios. Goodbye.

I apologize for the kind of emo post. I will be updating the blog for future endeavors I take, but don’t plan on keeping it updated/responding or giving that much attention. So it’s not a dead account, it’s just dormant, essentially- But I have a few things I’ll be posting rather soon, so to say it’s dormant isn’t quite accurate either.

At any rate,

Cheers. YAI