#only for that very show to be a creation borne of his intended purpose

[smile-files]

mommy let you use her ipad, you were barely two

and it did all the things we designed it to do

now look at you, look at you!

(objectober 2024 day 10: internet)

[addictedtostorytelling]

hi aj! i'm still on that csi rewatch (just venturing into season 7 now... so good) and i was thinking about how csi was different with naming their characters. i.e. sara instead of traditional sarah, nick and warrick having (nick)names that rhyme, super dave and hodges having the same first name, hank the paramedic + hank the dog. do you think this is all on purpose or it's just stuff that happened? i actually like those details because it's stuff we rarely see on tv and we know it happens in real life. thanks 🤍 have a great week!

hi, rewatch anon!

good to hear from you again!

re: your question:

unfortunately, the only bit of trivia i have ever encountered regarding character naming decisions on csi is that anthony zuiker originally intended to call gil grissom "gil sheinbaum," but billy petersen dissuaded him from doing so. zuiker then selected the replacement surname "grissom" as a tribute to real life nasa astronaut gus grissom, one of billy's heroes.

—which is to say i don't know why csi so often breaks the "one-steve limit" rule most other tv shows tend to as a matter of course adhere to.

the sara instead of sarah thing i can understand, as "sara without an h" was at least a somewhat popular spelling variant for american gen x babies born in the 70s and 80s, but having nick and rick, dave and dave, and hank and hank—to say nothing of gilbert and albert, dr. jane gilbert and dr. gilbert grissom and the gilbert institute for the deaf, lou vartann and lou gedda, sam vega and sam braun and sam the dog, and all of the recycled oddly-specific surnames of perps and victims (e.g., the name "kessler" crops up a lot, and not just for people related to lady heather)—is a somewhat more eyebrow-raising choice, i admit.

while of course in real life, one will often find people who share names or whose names happen to rhyme with each other or otherwise sound alike in most sufficiently large groups—case in point: i currently have three students with the same name in one of my classes, and they all choose to sit next to each other every day; two of them even have last names that begin with the same letter—in fiction, that kind of "doubling up" is usually avoided for the sake of clarity (i.e., so both the characters within the universe of the show and the audience outside of it don't have to constantly keep asking, "okay, but which one do you mean—the asshole boyfriend or the dog?").

whether the csi writing staff actively chose to forgo that particular storytelling convention for the sake of veritas or just stumbled into the name reuse thing more accidentally—as, after all, theirs was a "rotating writing room" which saw dozens of scriptwriters come and go over the years, not all of them equally well-versed in the "show bible"—i can't really say, though i somewhat suspect the latter option.

after all, the nick/rick thing would be easy enough not to notice at the time when those characters were first being named. "nicholas" and "warrick" aren't similar to each other either graphically or phonetically, and even "nick" and "warrick" have different syllable counts despite the end-sounds being the same when spoken aloud, so the "nick" and "rick" thing might just have slid by them, particularly before they were at a point when they really knew the characters or had an idea that "rick" might be a nickname warrick would occasionally go by.

hell, "rick" might not have even been a nickname the writers came up with themselves—it very easily could have been an on-set ad-lib (perhaps a paul guilfoyle innovation, as brass is the first character to refer to warrick that way back in s1).

so that one, i can very much see being unintentional—something that just wasn't really on the writers' radars during the character creation phase.

as for the issue of two daves, i do know that shows will sometimes supply minor characters with the same given names as their actors in order to keep things simple on set (particularly when the minor character in question may or may not ever end up becoming a recurring one), which is very much the case with "david phillips" and "david berman."

why the csi writers would take that tack with super dave but then name a second character david/dave later on—particularly when that actor's name is wallace and he goes by "wally"—i can't say for sure, but i have a sneaking suspicion that timing played a role, as three seasons elapse between the introduction of the first character and the introduction of the second (i.e., super dave first appears in episode 01x05 "friends & lovers;" hodges first appears in episode 03x11 “recipe for murder").

especially since super dave does not appear in episode 03x11 "recipe for murder," methinks the episode's writers, ann donahue and anthony zuiker—who is notorious for not knowing a damn thing about his own show—just forgot that super dave phillips was already in existence when they originated david hodges.

the fact that hodges is most usually referred to by his surname may have also contributed to the doubling, as they may not have been thinking about him as "dave" when they first set the concept of him down on paper.

as a side note: i cannot imagine how confusing it must have been on set filming episodes written by david rambo in which david berman playing david phillips appears alongside robert david hall—whom i believe also often goes by "david"—playing albert robbins and then david hodges played by wallace langham is also there. all i can say is it's a good thing hodges seldom makes trips to the morgue.

i'm disposed to believe something similar may have happened in the case of hank peddigrew and hank the dog, though on an even larger scale.

bad boyfriend hank gets written out of the show mid-s3 and is never seen or heard from again.

goodest boy hank doesn't get his official name on the show until episode 08x06 "who & what" when sara is the first character to say it.

between s3 and s8, the vast majority of the csi writing staff had turned over.

that so, i tend to suspect "that one shithead sara used to date all those years ago" wasn't really on anyone's minds when they were deciding what to name her dog—particularly since richard catalani, the writer who penned the episode, hadn't even begun working on the show until s4.

—though, of course, all of the above is just conjecture on my part, which i have no way to actually substantiate, and i could very well be wrong.

as for why no one consulted the show bible regarding this stuff—i mean, maybe they did and just decided the repetitions weren't that big a deal?

however, again, i tend to suppose that most of the time, they just didn't care to.

some writers are more fastidious about maintaining continuity and internal narrative coherence than others are, and, honestly, the csi writing staff (and especially zuiker) were never, even in their heyday, particularly careful in that regard; they typically cared more about case details than character biographies.

in any case, like you say, regardless of why it happened, the fact that there are so many characters on csi who share names does lend it a touch of realism that not all primetime tv dramas have.

fwiw, per the us social security administration, "david" was the second most popular name for american boys of the 60s (when hodges likely was born) and the fourth most popular name for american boys of the 70s (when super dave likely was born), so the statistical likelihood of there being two davids working in the same lab in the early 2000s would have been very high.

anyway, sorry i can't give you a more definitive answer! thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.

and enjoy your rewatch!

[vivalavillain]

( 2, 3, and 17 for father paul uvu )

WEIRDLY SPECIFIC BUT HELPFUL CHARACTER BUILDING QUESTIONS

2. How loosely or strictly do they use the word 'friend?'

{In the Before Times, when Father Paul was still very much Monsignor Pruitt, he would have said he was a friend to all. As a child of God and as all things are God's creation, he would have readily answered that all creatures are simply friends disguised as strangers (within reason, of course; he wouldn't go swimming with piranhas on purpose). John Pruitt genuinely loved all of God's creations and went to great lengths to live the Word as Jesus would have intended. He sough to help the sick, feed and clothe the poor, welcome the stranger into his church. He would serve as a beacon of God's Light wherever he went if he could and thus shared the great Love of God with all.

{Once he met the Angel of the Lord, however, and was returned to his youth, he found himself... lacking things. Certainly the love and the heart of John Pruitt still lived on inside him, he still considered any of his flock to be his friend if they'd so let him say so. However, as we see with the death of Joe Collie and the miscarriage of Erin Greene, John began to notice something wasn't entirely there. His empathy, his guilt, was stunted. So while, yes, he would say he considered many to be his friend, he found the truth of the matter was that he only vaguely cared anymore.}

3. How often do they show their genuine emotions to others versus just the audience knowing?

{Father Paul tends to wear his heart on his sleeve-- when he can feel it. He goes to no great lengths to lie to his parishioners (other than by hiding who he really is) about what he's feeling or how much he cares about them but there is a part of him, as the days grow wearier and the sunlight harsher, that finds his emotions less and less intense, less and less there when he expects them. Before he fully turns, he's still very much in control of his faculties, but the longer he goes under the Angel's influence, the less he feels and acts human.}

17. What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice when looking at them?

{I would like to think John Pruitt only really started to notice things about himself after Sarah was born. The way she took her nose from him, the way she laughs the same way he did, the dark of her hair. For Father Paul, though, he notices the sharp line of his jaw, the height of his cheekbones. The differences between himself and Sarah now that he's more able-minded to notice those differences.

{As for what others notice about him first, I would have to say his eyes or the figure he strikes as a fairly tall, scrawny individual.}

[persephoneism]

Hello! I'll ask as anon because i want to be mysterious :3

I'm so tired of seeing topics about how an ancient deity is evil… I just want to look on Youtube about a a god and what i found? Videos with the name: "Athena is evil", "Apollo is evil", "Zeus is evil" It's so frustrating.

Why those people can't understand that greek gods were complex? Not good or evil!

Also, sure those videos showed only the bad things they did in myths, of course you would think a god is evil if you just know those myths :/ But if you research more on mythology you will found good myths too… Again COMPLEX, NOT EVIL

Sorry if i bothering you with this, but really pisses me off :(

What is your opinion about this? You think that is okay say that an ancient god of Greece is evil?

Hiya! Of course, no worries about being anonymous! And you're definitely not bothering me :)

While overall I agree with you, keep in mind that I'm only giving my personal opinion, which is mostly based on what is, to me, common sense, and my understanding of those figures as someone who's been living in Greece all her life. I haven't studied myth and ancient Greek religion on a deeper, more scholarly level.

Though I very much dislike the idea that myths shouldn't be taken seriously because they are "just stories" and not representative of the gods' personalities (do they even have concrete personalities? Anyway,) we should remember that most often, they were a means for the Greeks to understand the world around them, how this plant or that animal came to be, how region X got its name, etc. Attributing the creation of xyz to a god was probably seen as the easiest way to explain its existence, and that's why we have so many recurring themes in myth—Person A displeases God B, God B punishes them; God C loses their mortal lover, they turn them into a flower. Whether the god is "right" to be angry or not is irrelevant, and whoever wrote those stories down rarely, if ever, shared any opinions on the matter. We see the gods hurting each other (Zeus and Hera, Demeter and her brothers,) but again, the god who committed what we perceive as a wrongdoing is not condemned by the mortal relaying the story.

Exceptions do occur; the entirety of Euripides' Ion more or less deals with the consequences of Apollo's seduction ("Phoebus compelled Erechtheus' daughter Creusa to take him as her lover." Make what you will of that "compell") of Creusa, princess of Athens, and how Ion, the child born of that affair, grew up knowing nothing of his parentage. After he finds out, he questions why Apollo, the god he was raised serving, did nothing to claim him as his child and instead led him to believe he's the son of another man. Creusa makes justifications for Apollo (although she previously fiercely denounced him,) but Ion insists. Eventually, Athena shows up on Apollo's behalf ("who did not think it right to come himself") to put the matter to rest by appointing Ion king of Athens and prophesising a glorious future for his children. Seemingly a happy conclusion and Apollo isn't really outright criticized for his actions (or lack thereof,) but the ending feels very contrary to the rest of the play, though I do wonder if Euripides intended for it to be commentary on the gods themselves, or how humans portray them in their stories.

So, in short, I don't believe the gods were supposed to be seen as "virtuous," not by modern standards. It was not relevant to the purpose they served. And I certainly think the Greeks viewed them as benevolent, rather than the opposite. Demeter taught them how work the earth, Athena created the plough. They survived and flourished because of the favors and the trials imposed to them by the gods. They were also feared and had to be appeased, but I'd say that's not exclusive to Greek religion.

[artthemasquerade]

Even in Hell of Kanto Happiness could be born Okay, so I haven't been able to read all of Violence Jack, but I have read parts of Shin Violence Jack (took me a bit to realize it was a reboot of Violence Jack XD) but I did read most of the parts to do with Devilman and of course the ending. So some of the ideas in my Violence Jack verse for my ot3 come from both mangas, and also some theories and headcanons of mine. Sooo my theory is when Satan remade the world he reincarnated Akira and Miki, intending to give them a better life, as he had come to love both of them equally, and thus accidentally or on purpose gave them some of his divine power (maybe as a measure in case he got out of hand again and needed to be taken down.) Akira got the element of the bird as the Violence Jack trio and Miki the element of the dog and thus has command over Cerberus, again this is comes from my theory that Ryo's pets in the beginning kind of foreshadow how Akira and Miki die in Devilman, and in Violence Jack and Shin Violence Jack it also shows what elements they get when they are reborn. Also like Satan, Akira and Miki don't become their true selves until they merge with their other forms they had split into. But when Satan removed his own memories of his true identity and sealed away his powers so he could punish himself via the Slum King, Akira and Miki forgot who they were too and split off into other forms as well. But when Satan reformed himself and was getting ready to return the world to nothing, believing that he caused too much damage for it to be saved, Akira and Miki regained their memories reformed themselves to stop Satan. Now in the manga its not exactly clear if Akira kills Satan or merely stops him and helps him forgive himself, either way the world is saved. In the ot3 verse, Akira and Miki manage to stop Satan and find out that he was actually trying to get them to kill him, since he didn't think he deserved to live after everything he had done and had allowed to happen while he was punishing himself. Unsure if killing him would destroy the world they were trying to save, and even after everything they didn't hate him as much they used to and in fact still held some love for him, Akira and Miki try instead to get Satan to forgive and redeem himself by being a more present god the world needed. Eventually, Satan was able to reconnect with his new world better, seeing that despite everything, the humans he had created had endured and were willing to fight and build for a better future, he, Akira and Miki only lend aid to the humans of Kanto when very much needed or to help them better themselves but try to give them the free will to chose their own fates. And in that time, love blossomed between the three of them, and they made it a go to rekindle their relationship again (They previously had one in Devilman before everything went tits up! XD), finding that now there weren't any secrets between them and they were equally as powerful as each other their relationship was a lot better than before. Though there are some old wounds that can't easily be forgiven, you know Miki's whole family and her being killed indirectly cause of Ryo's actions, causing all of humanity to destroy themselves and no matter how hard Ryo tries to make up for them it still stings, but while Akira and Miki might not be able to forgive Ryo for everything, they do appreciate him trying to make things better for his creations now. Also on one last note, you can't see it very well since Ryo and Miki are blocking how Akira looks in this verse, but since he has spent a lot of time in his female Violence Jack form, I headcanon that Akira is now gender fluid and tends to switch between being a man or woman depending on his mood or the situation, but no matter the gender he is always tits out! XD    

[bigskydreaming]

I am looking (disrespectfully) at the trope of Bruce and other family members only seeming to respect Dick’s wishes when doing so aligns with what they already wanted to do.

Let’s go to the examples!

1) Bruce not broaching adoption with Dick because he wants to respect Dick’s first parents and feels like he would be taking their place or overstepping or putting himself in between Dick and his memories of his parents. Sometimes its cited that Dick himself expressed this wish early on after his parents died, sometimes its not and this is still just upheld as Bruce’s reasoning for not adopting Dick before he was already well into adulthood.

THE FATAL FLAW (in mine own personal opinion, natch. Personal mileage may vary, check your speedometer to be safe):

This particular plot point or tangle is in my experience ALWAYS paired with Bruce’s own insecurities about his role in Dick’s life, or not wanting to push that or receive an answer he doesn’t want to or is afraid to hear. Sometimes its about his fears of unworthiness to be Dick’s actual parent, etc, etc. But the bottom line is, there is always the presence of SOME element (and not a small one) in which Bruce’s own self-interest or feelings are protected by him NOT broaching the adoption conversation with Dick and having to confront these fears head on.

This is additionally juxtaposed with the problem that although there’s a lot of variance in regards to stories where Bruce fired Dick versus stories where Dick gave up being Robin and moved on to Nightwing voluntarily....there’s NOT a lot of stories where Dick makes Jason Robin himself or is asked by Bruce first. The part where Bruce takes this initiative on his own, without thinking through its repercussions on Dick emotionally.....this is practically always present.

Now, the problem here is that......Dick became or began becoming Robin well into his time with Bruce. Its frequently cited as the thing that began allowing them to truly connect, their time training and acting as Batman and Robin.

Meaning no matter WHAT interpretation you go with as to why specifically Dick chose the name Robin, whether it was a family nickname or an homage to Robin Hood.....the fact remains, NOTHING of Robin, THEMATICALLY, nothing that spoke to Dick in regards to what he wanted Robin to be - specifically in honor of his parents because avenging his parents and making sure what happened to them didn’t happen to others like, this was literally a key part of what bonded Dick and Bruce, the fact that Bruce was TRYING to help Dick specifically BECAUSE they shared this particular overlap of purpose - like the bottom line is, nothing about Robin CAME from Bruce. Or Dick’s feelings about Bruce. That....didn’t really even exist yet, at the time he created Robin. Everything about Robin, other than the physical costume itself, not even the design just the actual creation of it....all of that came from BEFORE he met Bruce. None of it was thoughts or feelings derived from BRUCE. Its the whole reason Dick was never Batkid or Batlad, or any derivative of Batman.

It all, ALL came from what Dick came to the manor WITH. Remnants of his life with his first family.

So the fatal flaw of Bruce’s reasoning that by not broaching the subject of adoption with Dick before well into adulthood, he was actually just respecting Dick’s relationship with his first parents and not trying to come between them and Dick’s memories and feelings about them....

All of this is inherently undermined by Bruce’s own actions.....when by repurposing Robin to ANY degree, even just to give the mantle to Jason.....this meant that he was inherently viewing Robin as being more about being Batman’s partner, HIS partner....then it was about being Dick’s heritage, his last intangible keepsake of his first family and life BEFORE Bruce.

In effect....Bruce making Jason Robin or firing Dick as Robin, either way....both betray Bruce’s OWN alleged intentions for only wanting to respect Dick’s relationship with his parents, and that being why he didn’t want to overstep by trying to impose or even ask for his own official parent/child relationship with Dick. Because that’s exactly what appropriating the Robin mantle was. It was Bruce ignoring the relationship Dick had with his parents and their memory and the fact that Robin was directly born of that....and making Robin entirely about Bruce’s OWN relationship with Dick, heedless of any other factors.

And the second Bruce did that.....his entire justification for not raising the adoption issue....disappears. It goes away. Because you can’t claim inaction being just a result of not wanting to disrespect something you’ve already voided respect for. No matter whether Bruce INTENDED it or not.....by crossing this boundary, Bruce already acted against Dick’s feelings in this regard and well, disregarded them....which makes claims of Bruce not raising the adoption issue pretty much JUST self-serving at that point. Its an alleged viewpoint of Dick’s that Bruce largely just ASSUMES....and only ultimately respects - in direct contrast to how he didn’t respect the associations Dick had with Robin - because it aligns with something Bruce ALREADY wanted to do, rather than what Dick actually wanted. It provided justification for Bruce to just....not have a conversation he was afraid to have. And that’s about Bruce at that point. Its not about Dick. Its just like...not.

2) Another example of this that is not unique to just Bruce, but recurs frequently in both canon and fanfics in Dick’s dynamics with other characters he’s close with.....is characters not apologizing for things they’ve done to Dick or raising the issue of things they did a long time ago but never apologized for....while claiming to do so because they thought DICK didn’t want to talk about it.

THE FATAL FLAW (in my own personal opinion. Nuances and variations may not be identical at all store locations, please see your local branch for details):

The particular problem I have here is that....Dick never ever ever in the history of ever and also the before ever time.....has EVER expressed a desire to avoid confrontation.

Like. That’s what he DOES. That’s his JAM. That’s literally CITED time and time again as one of the reasons he’s viewed as more of a people person and natural team leader than Bruce and other Batfam members....because he’s not afraid to cut straight (or bi) to the heart of the matter and air out a dispute.

In fact, this very character trait is one of the ones most commonly utilized AGAINST Dick in various depictions of him, as he’s often cited as TOO confrontational, TOO eager for a fight or conflict especially when his temper is engaged, such as when he’s well....personally hurt or offended.

So how does it follow, then, that avoiding tough conversations ONLY when its on the OTHER person to INITIATE, because they were the ones who DID the wrong-doing and Dick the subject of that rather than the instigator....how does it work, exactly, that these are the only times in which we DON’T tend to see a direct conversation about the harms done and the fallout that resulted? With it being claimed that this is solely for Dick’s benefit, out of a desire to avoid pulling him into an allegedly unnecessary (but really just unpleasant) confrontation?

When the concurrent reality is that whether stated or acknowledged or not.....avoiding these specific conversations and ONLY these conversations (as there never seems to be a problem finding canon or fanfic stories in which Dick apologizes for harm HE’S caused to others or is clearly expected to).....this avoidance also carries the side benefit of allowing the character who DID something wrong to Dick to....not ever have to have that super uncomfortable conversation in which they actually verbally acknowledge the thing they did to him and the effects it had on him, and apologize for that.....and then render themselves vulnerable to actually hearing whether or not he accepts their apology or is still upset with them regardless.

While - as long as they DON’T ever have this conversation, for whatever reason - they can look to the clear and consistent precedent of Dick continuing to work with people who have done things like oh, I don’t know....punched him in the face cuz they’re mad at him (and this isn’t a Bruce critical point, this is a whole damn family critical point as the only one who HASN’T actually done this is Duke. Well, Cass technically just threw him out a window, but I mean, tomato toh-mah-to). Writers and characters both can lean on the fact that actually Dick has a pretty clear track record of ultimately giving up a grudge or at least showing a willingness to look past those grudges enough that it doesn’t prevent him from still maintaining or resuming some kind of relationship with the person who hurt him.

And thus, like Example Numero Uno......this ultimately just lets other characters off the hook while claiming to do Dick a favor, but actually Dick receives no real benefit from it and instead now just has another instance of characters saying “see we respect your wishes” when ultimately their inaction is MORE in service to their own wishes and self-interests.

2b) See also the variation of this in which characters such as Bruce, Jason, Tim and assorted others like....are written specifically determining that they’re not going to apologize to Dick or beg his forgiveness because they feel they don’t DESERVE to be forgiven, and once again....its in HIS best interests that they not even give him the opportunity to say he forgives them....because they know Dick Grayson of course, and they know he’s too forgiving for his own good, so its better to like....not make it ever a possibility in this particular instance.

With the problem here being like.....Dick can’t and shouldn’t be expected to KNOW that’s their logic? So....all he’s going to actually SEE is loved ones just....not expressing remorse for hurting him or acknowledgment it even happened? Which....hurts?

So......hurting your loved one MORE after already hurting them....because you don’t feel you deserve to be forgiven for hurting them in the first place and are actually PROTECTING them from being hurt more when mistakenly forgiving you.....by.....hurting and continuing to hurt them with your silence and lack of evident remorse....

Mmmm.....

Its not the best approach, y’know?

Flaws are detected.

3) Dick’s friends and family manipulating situations in order to get the end result THEY desire, while claiming to do so for his benefit only. Dick being willing to manipulate people to achieve his own ends comes up a LOT actually....but there’s relatively little examination of how often people do this to him, claiming his best interests but really just circumventing his clearly stated desires for independence and the right to make his own choices about what HE needs....or when this is brought up, its usually limited to JUST Bruce doing it, but uh....no that ain’t it.

Specific examples of this are like when Wally joins the 1999 version of the Titans specifically to get Dick to join up, because in his estimation Dick needs more of a social life and is drowning himself with his responsibilities....and then quits not long after Dick is finally officially invested in staying with the team. Another example is when Roy gets Dick to join the Outsiders based entirely on his pitch of NOT treating the team like a family, like they did with the Titans, so that Dick could keep emotional distance and not be as worried about losing them like he suffered from losses like Donna....with his claim again being that he worried about Dick in the aftermath of that loss, etc.

And to be clear! Its not that I think Wally and Roy and others who do similar things have NEGATIVE intentions in mind for Dick. That’s the whole point of this post.....like the other examples, I fully believe THEY believe (or writers believe when writing them this way) that they have Dick��s best interests in mind and not their own. I just....disagree.

THE FATAL FLAW (at least as I see it here):

Is that I view this and Batfam members who do similar stuff as like.....falling into the trap of the savior friend complex. Its that thing when you see a friend hurting, and over time get FRUSTRATED by seeing this when a solution seems obvious to you but think they won’t take it because they’re too stubborn or don’t know what’s best for them....with this specifically recurring a LOT with Dick in particular, due to his core characterization of wanting to be the one to make his own choices. The problem here, same as the problem with the savior friend complex....is that it treats the subject of these views as like....incapable of determining what they need. Its a tacit condemnation that they actually don’t know how to cope with things and are doing it wrong - even though the ones making this assessment will never be the ones actually having to LIVE with the outcome of their meddling. Its the conviction that someone like Dick needs to be HANDLED, for his own good....because he can’t be trusted to KNOW what he needs, not as well as them at least.....and so they jump to manipulation rather than just....ASK him what he needs, or HOW they can best support him, or even just WHY he’s making the choices he is.

For instance, the problem with what Wally did was never that Dick wasn’t struggling. He was. He was drowning in his responsibilities, he had very little to no life outside of them.....Wally is not remotely in the wrong for WANTING to do something to change this situation. The problem is Wally basically defaulted to just...HANDLING his friend by restarting the Titans just to give Dick a social life again, which is pretty much a line straight out of the comics...and basically railroaded right over Dick’s initial ‘no’ when he first heard the proposal. And kept pushing things until Dick eventually joined up in order to get Wally to commit to the team too, because Wally spun it as though Dick was helping Wally by getting Wally to commit to the team for the very same reasons Wally wanted Dick to. And then....right after that, Wally quit to go back to just focusing on the Justice League, which was part of what Dick predicted would happen all along.

The thing was.....at no point along the way did Wally actually ask WHY Dick initially said no....he jumped straight to assuming his own view of the problem, that Dick just COULDN’T be made to ever see the reason to take a break occasionally and put his mental and emotional health as a priority. If he’d done this, Wally could have had dozens of other options to achieve his desired end result....he could’ve like....set up regular hangouts with Dick. 

But Wally jumped to assuming he knew the answer, he knew what was best for Dick, and that Dick’s logic was inherently self-destructive and self-flagellating.....and he felt the solution was to bring back the Titans, as he recalled their earlier times as Titans together as a time when Dick was better able to balance his social life and responsibilities.

But by not ever stopping to LISTEN to why Dick felt the way he did and was initially opposed to rejoining the Titans....Wally overlooked one crucial fact: He isn’t Dick.

And more important, his view of the past wasn’t Dick’s view of the past.

Wally was a lot more capable of viewing the Titans as not just a family, but an inherent social life, a hangout, a kind of club....because that’s what it had always been to him.

But he’d never been the leader.

Throughout all their childhoods, the whole time the Titans WERE all of the above, and relatively light-hearted in comparison to their older selves....Dick STILL had the weight of responsibilities that none of the others had by virtue of just...not being the leader. Ultimately, all of their lives were in HIS hands. He was the one calling the shots. The buck stopped with him.

And this is precisely WHY Dick had gotten to the point he had in adulthood. It wasn’t because he’d changed. It wasn’t because he’d stopped figuring out what he needed and how to take care of himself. Its because the position he’d ALWAYS been in as leader....has WEIGHT. That eventually added up more and more and weighed him down. A huge part of the reason Dick had ended up leaving the Titans in the first place, before they disbanded prior to the 1999 revival....is because of the sheer WEIGHT of all the deaths and misfortunes that had befallen the Titans....and how much he and he alone struggled with it in ways the others didn’t....because they didn’t have to. It hadn’t been their plans, their calls, their RESPONSIBILITY to find a way the others could have all made it out alive or at least less traumatized.

So.....of COURSE Dick said no when Wally first proposed restarting the Titans, before Wally defaulted to using his own membership as a lure to get Dick to agree.....because......nothing about the above paragraph had changed, via Wally’s ‘plan.’ It wasn’t because Dick just didn’t KNOW how to be a fully rounded person....it was because nobody was helping him find actual OPTIONS for doing that....that didn’t just double as MORE responsibilities! Because that’s exactly what ended up happening! Dick wound up the leader of the Titans again, just as responsible and just as invested as always.....just like he always knew he would....and also as he knew would happen...Wally ended up quitting not long into it and persuading Jessie Quick to step in as his replacement....aka just one more person for Dick to worry about when it wasn’t like he was going to be worrying any less about Wally, just now he wasn’t going to have Wally there to even POTENTIALLY be able to support him when tragedy inevitably struck because they’re freaking superheroes....and instead he’d just have another person looking to him for the answers but with no reason or chance of being the support Dick could ACTUALLY use at times like that!

Wally’s manipulations circumvented Dick’s opinion that no, actually he knew what was best for him and it wasn’t what Wally was suggesting....without actually accounting for the fact that hey, Dick might actually know that. And in the end, Wally got the result he was after, he got to feel that he’d HELPED his friend....which again, this isn’t WRONG to WANT to....but Dick didn’t...exactly....benefit from this. It wasn’t actually in his best interests ultimately.

I mean...see Donna’s death for details.

And in the aftermath of THAT....Roy essentially did exactly what Wally did....just in REVERSE! Roy got Dick to agree to lead the Outsiders, to shoulder responsibility once again....by promising that Dick WOULDN’T have to view them as family. And did Dick go too far and end up TOO uncaring about their welfare? Yup! No disagreements there! Problem is though....he only ended UP in that situation because yet again a friend thought they KNEW the solution to what Dick needed.....only for Dick to end up essentially punished and further self-blaming....just for doing exactly what Roy had told him TO do, with this particular team. Again - Roy hadn’t EXPECTED Dick to take it this far. But that’s the whole point! Roy had expectations about what Dick would ACTUALLY end up doing, that didn’t match up to the pitch Roy actually gave Dick to GET his agreement.....because Roy all along was of the assumption that by virtue of being Dick Grayson, he wouldn’t be ABLE to avoid connecting with these new teammates and viewing them as family, and thus he’d end up ‘snapping out of it’ with it being the funk he’d been in since Donna’s death.

Roy’s intentions might have been noble, once again.....but his methods stuck to the same pattern of people around Dick believing they knew what he needed or knew who he was or knew what it meant to BE Dick Grayson....better than Dick actually did...particularly when Dick said no, this isn’t what I need or this isn’t a good idea or just...I don’t want to do this.

And in the end....its Dick who ended up paying the price for it, as well as the people who got hurt because of his INTENTIONAL emotional distance.....because the ‘view all surrounding people as new surrogate family’ aspect of the Dick Grayson Experience hadn’t kicked in as Roy thought inevitably would....but the ‘view all this as directly my fault and suffer guilt for it forevermore’ aspect of the Dick Grayson Experience most certainly did! Not at all actually helped along by the fact that like....Roy also expressed frustration with Dick that like.....Dick hadn’t actually responded to Roy’s intended manipulation of his emotions the way Roy had expected him to when he EXPRESSLY TOLD DICK TO BEHAVE THE WAY THAT DICK ULTIMATELY BEHAVED. (Just, he didn’t tell Dick to dial that all the way up to Extra, but given that’s the only setting Dick does ANYTHING at, I feel its a possible outcome Roy should have at least considered. I mean, wasn’t the whole point that you know Dick Grayson better than he knows himself?)

But lo, I am salty.

LMAO, but I mean, you get it right? Obviously, I LIKE Wally and Roy. I LIKE Jason, etc. I’m not saying all of this to be like ugh how dare these characters do all this to Dick....I’m saying it because like.....they all keep falling into the same patterns of making a big fuss and acknowledgment of how much Dick prioritizes being able and free to make his own choices and decide what’s best for him and what HE wants.....

But without ever like....actively asking him AT THE RELEVANT TIME....what he thinks and feels about all this. What he thinks and feels he needs. What he ACTUALLY wants from them, or why he’s ACTUALLY saying no to something and maybe it being for reasons that aren’t just him inherently being stubborn and self-destructive.

And instead just defaulting to falling back on whatever he might have said or expressed in an entirely different context at an entirely different time.....and saying okay, by doing so, we are abiding by his wishes and thus doing what he wants and respecting his right to make his own choices.....

But ONLY when doing all of the above just so happens to align with these other characters then getting to do the thing or take the approach they’re already predisposed towards wanting to take because of their OWN self-interests at the same time.

With this never actually coming into play when respecting Dick’s wishes aligns with them taking actions they DON’T personally want to undertake, because it makes them uncomfy or they think its a bad call, even if it is something that should be his call to make.

Like....the pattern. It very much exists. And abounds. Like I could cite examples allllllllllll the way up to Ric Grayson, where Bruce respected RIC’S wishes to be left alone and not interfere in his life no matter what.....in ways Bruce almost never respects Dick’s actual expressed wish for Bruce to butt out of matters when Bruce is actually quite keen on meddling and would very much like to....

But notice how the other thing about the Ric Grayson storyline is that Ric’s expressed desire to stay the fuck out of vigilantism and superhero work, like.....just so happens to align with Bruce’s longstanding desire for Dick to like...get out of the vigilantism and superhero work? With butting out of Ric’s life and respecting his privacy in ways Dick has to FIGHT him for, like......absolutely the optimal action to take in order to allow this expressed desire of Ric’s to flourish in the ways Bruce always wished would kick in for Dick?

.....just saying. 

The pattern. It abounds.

And the key to breaking any pattern, of course, is to first recognize....and acknowledge....that it exists.

Otherwise you tend to fall into the trap of repeating and perpetuating it over and over without even realizing it, simply because its what’s familiar.

This has been A Post by Me. Thank you and have a nice day. Or don’t. Idk. I’m not the boss of you. Whatever.

[dannyphantom-rewrite]

Timekeeper's assistants AU

Alright y'all! This is gonna be my info dump post for the Timekeepers assistant Au- buckle up cause it's gonna be a long one!

Inspired by @queendibz post here

The entire purpose of the assistant squad is to keep all the time lines running smoothly- this can range from stopping a world ending event to making sure things misplaced by natural ghost portals get put back into the right time and place.

So First up on the crew list,

Dan:

-Dan definitely isn't a homicidal maniac anymore but he's not 100 percent "redeemed" either.

-I mean he's probably still a bit of sadist but he tries not to be?

-The best description I can give is that he's in recovery, basically.

-So, Clockwork knew that Dan would eventually bust out of the thermos just because it wasn't built to hold a ghost of his power level for a prolonged period of time. But beyond that?? He has no idea about anything in regards to Dan. Since Dan's creation was averted, his timeline doesn't exist anymore. He's a paradox that exists outside of time, and unfortunately, that means he's the one entity in the multiverse that exists in Clockwork's blindspot. There's no way for him to know what Dan's going to do next.

-Anyway, Dan eventually breaks out of the thermos fully intending to Fuck Shit Up, And Clockwork makes a point of informing him that if he leaves the clock tower he will cease to exist. (Like Dan, the tower exists outside of time, so he's safe there.)

-Dan is the first member of the assistant squad. Granted, it took a while for him to come around to the idea of helping Clockwork but he got there eventually.

-Dan is an entity that was born out of the rage and grief of two very broken people and he has so much shit he's working through as a result

-One of the first things he had to do was recognize and accept that he's an entity that's completely separate from Vlad and Danny. He might have all their memories and the weight of their mistakes on his shoulders, and on top of that, the atrocities he himself committed because of them. The first step is realizing that he doesn't have to be defined by the people that made him.

-It's a really fucking difficult thing to do tho and he's got a lot of weird emotions in regards to Vlad, Danny and the Fentons as a result. A near constant identity crisis, self loathing, daddy issues, something that could arguably be called an Oedipus complex, (FUCKING THANKS, VLAD)

-Cannot stand the smell of fast food, it makes him nauseous and the sight of Nasty Burger sauce alone is enough to make him vomit Ectoplasm.

-He's just a hot mess all around y'all

-He tries to keep his interactions with the Danny's as minimal as possible at first bc of this. The first time he meets them in person he shape shifts into Danny like he did in TUE and just pretends to be one of them. Some of them have had interactions with their respective Dan's already and would be super wary of him and probably pretty freaked out otherwise.

-Dan is eventually allowed to leave the clocktower for supervised "Field missions" with the aid of a time medallion to keep him from poofing out of existence, but it takes a while for clockwork to build up that level of trust.

-Dan's shapeshifting ability Actually comes into play a bit on a lot of those missions, since he can Mimic Danny it also makes sense that he'd be able to impersonate Vlad in the same way. Granted he's not incredibly comfortable taking on either of their appearances but it does help him hone his shapeshifting ability to the point where he's able to pick and choose features from both Vlad and Danny and sorta make his own human disguise.

-Most of the time he acts as the eye in the sky from the tower, monitoring for timeline anomalies and then notifying the appropriate member of the assistant squad.

-He has a room under the clock tower that he operates from. I kinda like the idea of there being like, catacombs down there? Anyway he's got all kinds of monitors and view screens and he very rarely leaves. It also doubles as his "living space." He doesn't need to sleep but he's got a big mess of a pillow fort that he crashes in regardless bc sometimes you just NEED to be unconscious for a while. The catacombs are also absolutely full of those little blob ghosts that wander around the zone bc They're attracted to the ecto energy the tower gives off. He's really annoyed by them at first but they grow on him after a while and now he just dotes on them.

-There's a specific throw pillow sized one that likes to hang out in Dan's room a lot and he ended up getting a little over attached to the stupid thing. His name is Dorian. Bc he's a gift.

-SIR THATS MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT BLOB

-Dan's appearance has changed slightly. He wears his hair loose now and it's kinda just this big fiery mane when it's not contained. His cape is more of a cloak now, it has a hood and he wears it sorta pinned together at the shoulder so the DP logo is covered.

-Dan's relationship with the rest of the Danny's is kinda weird, and a little strained. He has a hard time being around them for very long because, well, he used to sort of be them? Except not really? He does care about them tho, and the last thing he'd want is for one of them to end up like him.

-His relationship with clockwork definitely starts out pretty familial, after he becomes his assistant, anyway. There's room for that to develop into meddling minutes but I'm not entirely sure if I'm gonna go that route yet.

-The Danny's only ever hear his voice for a while before he finally let's them meet him for real, so they end up calling him Charlie for a while as a joke. Cause Ya know. Charlie's angels. Even after Charlie still ends up being his designated name on missions.

Mer! Danny:

-Was recruited bc a lot of the shit that gets sucked through natural portals ends up in a body of water somewhere and when that happens he's on call to retrieve it.

-Is Actually not at all ghostly! Mer Danny's situation is basically the plot of H2O (just add water), or if you haven't seen that, Aquamarine. And by that I mean he's only a merfolk in water.

-He's an electric eel

-His Jack and Maddie are marine biologists, with a particular interest in marine cryptids

-We're taking sea monsters baby!!!

-Not entirely sure how this Danny ended up half mer yet but I'll figure it out, lmao.

-14 years old

-His nickname/ designation is "Moray"

Crown Prince! Danny:

-Nickname/designation is Prince / Princey

-16 years old

-Not allowed to go anywhere in the zone without the Fright knight bc of some ancient ghost law bullshit, so he has a constant babysitter.

-He's next in line bc he sealed away Pariah, but can't take the throne until he is both, A) at least 18 years and B) Completely deceased

-Vlad is his Regent bc he did have a part in the whole sealing the previous king thing, but he's also not completely dead so his power is super limited there.

-As Prince Danny has the crown of fire in his ghost form, although now the name is kinda ironic seeing as it's completely frozen over. It's blue now and it smokes like dry ice.

-As Regent, Vlad has the ring of rage for "safe keeping"

-Vlad and Danny are pretty much constantly at each other's throats, fright knights probably had to shut down more than a few of Vlad's attempts to usurp the crown from Danny through combat.

-Princey deals with the timeline issues that involve the ghost zones' internal / political affairs, and he's gotten very well versed with dealing with the Observants.

Winged! Danny :

-15 years old

-Mallard duck wings

-His Vlad is a swan

-Comes from a family of waterfowl, Jack is a goose, and Maddie is a white swan. Both he and jazz are ducks bc of their grandparents.

-As Fenton his wings are white, like jazz, and as phantom they turn black with a green iridescent sheen.

-He's trans

-Nickname/ designation is inviso Bill. Bc ducks have bills haha get it-

-Ghostly wail?? Nah son he's gotta killer QUACK

-Absolute besties with Mer!Danny/ Moray, sometimes they go swimming together after a mission.

Clone! Danny:

-Physically he's a 12-year-old, but he's only been alive for a few months.

-Alt universe where Vlad manages to stabilize the perfect clone with his own DNA.

-Dani still exists, and the original danny from his time line also rescued the other problematic clones.

-Doesnt like the fact that he's a clone, and very much wants them all DEAD. Bc them running around is a reminder that he's not the real danny.

-Human half looks the same aside from the widows peak and the mallen streak. His ghost half takes after plasmius. Blue skin, and the Hazmat kept it's original white colors.

-Probably has fangs and a forked tounge.

-Not so much a member of the squad as he is someone that they need to be keeping an eye on.

-Does NOT get along with them.

-Dan enjoys making him uncomfortable.

-Designation is Masters / the brat (not to his face tho)

Family Breakfast AU! Danny:

-A BABY

-The boy is a fucking overpowered todler okay. He's an 8 year old.

-The biological son of his Vlad, was born a Halfa. Jack, Vlad and Maddie got their shit together and are in a healthy poly relationship.

-Got separated from Vlad one time in the zone and inadvertently adopted by the assistant squad and clockwork.

-His Vlad is aware of the squad and just. Dad's the crap out of the Danny's as a result. It makes for some..... interesting interactions.

-I can't think of a nickname so I'm just gonna be lazy and say he gets to be the one Tru Danny bc cute little kind privileges lmao.

Full ghost! Danny:

-15 years old, will always look 14.

-Nickname/designation is Toast

-Died in the portal accident and got fucking FRIED.

-He always smells like somethings burning.

-He's really bright and sorta sparks a bit, you can see his bones glowing through the hazmat.

-He still leave the zone to protect his version of amity, but lives with clockwork full time.

Canon Danny (NOT PHANTOM PLANET COMPLIANT) :

-Basically show Danny, except phantom planet never happened fuck you

-Joined the crew after the events of de stabilized

-Also he's trans fuck butch

-Franken! Danny

-Yall remember that Headless Danny Au? This is my take.

-Is Actually 20 years old, but physically stuck at age 14. Bc he's a walking corpse :)

-Came from a timeline that was directly parallel to Full ghost! Danny. He dies in the portal accident, but jack and Maddie are in the lab when it happens and manage to sort of bring him back using a combination of science and freaky ghost junk.

-So he's basically possessing/ stuck inside of his own dead body. Which, is thankfully not rotting or going into rigor mortis bc Ectoplasm is rather similar to formaldehyde, but he's not the most durable thing and bits and pieces fall off from time to time.

-Like his head. For example.

-He's pretty desensitized to it at this point and if he loses a leg after a ghost fight he doesn't see anything wrong with sitting down on the curb of a main street to stich it back on. His being dead isn't exactly a secret.

-Don't ever ask him to "give you a hand" bc he can and will not hesitate to pop one off and Chuck it at you.

-Said hand and any other body part will continue to function just fine even if it isn't attached to anything, btw.

-Nickname/ designation is Adam. Bc. Ya know. that's the name Frankenstein's monster gave itself.

Post Phantom Planet! Danny:

-A very jaded 22 year old who is driven only by spite and enough caffeine to kill a horse

-Very, very tired of the hero thing.

-Being a global celebrity isn't all it's cracked up to be.

-Decided to follow Vlads lead and fuck off to space for a while. Partially to get away from everyone and also partially bc he kinda feels responsible for the fact that the only other person like him and probably floating DEAD in the void somewhere? And yeah Vlad fucked up all on his own but what if he'd tried harder to get through to him things could have been different-

-Joins the crew after a natural portal opens up in space and decides to help out and use clockworks resources to try and track down his Vlad.

-Nickname/ Designation is Polaris, aka the north star.

[kindaeccentric]

When I was writing my university bachelor's degree thesis (that I'm still to defend) about Penny Dreadful as a modern adaptation of Frankenstein I noticed how the original novel's homoeroticism is realized by the series in an interesting way.

In the way he is presented, it seems to me that Victor secretly desires men, but thinks that only through creating a perfect one by himself he's allowed to touch other man's skin. His endeavour to pierce the veil between life and death is an excuse, since Victor from the series grew up lonely after the death of his mother and he searches for companionship, for someone who would love him unconditionally, like his mother used to. He believes he can find such love only in a person he creates himself, brings from the dead, and who would see him as his only friend, calm and obedient. Yet his first instinct is to make a man, not a woman, and a handsome man at that.

I can imagine both Rory Kinnear and Alex Price are not everybody's cup of tea (I do find them attractive, they are quite charismatic), but the way the original Creature and Proteus are shown makes them attractive. Proteus we see through Victor's eyes, when he is tending to his body before its even reanimated, when he sketches him (a sure sign of affection) and when he teaches him how to eat in a way that becomes seductive, because of how the camera lingers on his lips and then, in a closeup, on his fingers running down his long throat, immediately bringing to mind erotic imagery. Some may argue that Victor tries to emulate the relationship between his mother and himself taking the parental role and projecting onto Proteus the role of his childhood self, and as much as it is partially true, their relationship bears these marks of hidden desire on Victor's part from the start. The image at the end of the first episode when Proteus is born shows Victor trembling, teary-eyed, looking at the body, a torn and stitched back together, but human body, of a naked man. He's afraid, but not necessarily of the man, but of finally getting what he wanted, it's a fear resulting from excitement. Then the man is touching his face tenderly and Victor, still trembling, cannot stop himself from a little smile. Their faces are softly illuminated by the orange light of the gas lamp, creating an intimate atmosphere of a warm bedroom. Victor practically gasps hearing his own name smoken by Proteus. I doubt all of it was intentional in the way I read it, but it doesn't change the fact that the final scene can be easily interpreted this way.

Then the original Creature, with the violence surrounding his return, presents him as highly masculine, smart, powerful, a direct opposite to the delicate, clueless Proteus Victor could easily form into whatever he wanted. The Creature throughout the entire series is perceived as ugly by some and easily tolerated by others, making his ugliness purely subjective, since, despite his small deformities he remains strangely alluring with his gothic qualities (black long hair, black lips, white skin, yellow eyes, proportional features) of a dark brooding gentleman. With blood on his face he becomes vampire-like (vampires always a symbol of hidden desires and 'depraved' sexuality, the Creature and Victor becoming a mirror image of Vanessa and vampire Mina, both Creature's and Mina's monstrosity an indirect result of Victor's and Vanessa's desire towards having a same-sex companion). The Creature touches Victor's face, a callback to Proteus doing it, but the Creature is not gentle, he smears blood all over Victor's face (blood in vampire narratives was always a symbol for other bodily fluids, that's why it seems so sexy, it also gained another meaning in the 80s, due to the HIV epidemic, which no filmmaker can shake off if they tried, I could discuss it more with The Lost Boys, but no time for that right now).

The dynamic between Victor and the Creature is a reversal of Victor's budding relationship with Proteus, experience winning over innocence. Victor is under another man's rule, and it terrifies him, because it would force him into a position of having to admit his attraction, whereas as the one in control he could have still easily deny it. The Creature, with all his attributes, symbolizes carnal love, he's all 'body', where Proteus was virginal, pious love (to an extent). In one of the scenes where we see Proteus he looks up into the skylight at Victor's apartment and appears angelic, as if in a halo of white light.

It's revealed Victor never had a woman, and the series wants the viewer to believe it's because of his awkwardness and passion for science that consumed him, but his dedication to creating himself male companions instead of searching for a living female one is exactly what makes him seem more queer coded.

It's clear that the lack of paternal figure results in Victor quickly becoming close with older men he encounters (Sir Malcolm, Van Helsing), but it also puts him into a position where he's constantly surrounded by men, with whom he feels more at ease, and is intimidated by women. The rivalry between him and Ethan is that of siblings, until the moment when Ethan teaches him how to shoot a gun. It might be a stretch (it is a bit of a stretch, I admit), but a gun often, especially in horror, alongside a knife, represents manhood and masculine power. Victor allows Ethan to touch him and encourages him to show off with the gun, which is a scene all too familiar from many other movies where the role of Victor is reserved for a woman and the interaction is flirtatious (can't pull examples out of thin air, but if you saw over 1400 movies like me you know I'm not lying). All this adds to the general image of Victor.

The Creature and Victor, when they are on a walk, have a very revealing conversation in which the Creature points out how quick Victor was to grow attached to his more perfect man, and Victor doesn't deny it, he admits that he did in fact feel affection towards Proteus, although the meaning of it as the scorned past partner expressing jealousy over the love he didn't get while someone else did is largely subtext. When the Creature says that he's lonely, Victor answers 'I cannot love you' (paraphrase, because I can't find the exact quote right now) and the Creature, disillusioned, mocks him, 'I do not want what you cannot give' suggesting that Victor, by making himself a meek obedient man, is selfish, cruel, manipulating, and a coward, therefore could not have loved Proteus truly. Then again, Victor cannot bring himself to love his original Creature, because he's not the ideal man he envisioned and by then the Creature being too aware of his flaws of character. The Creature/Caliban/John Clare knows that Victor is 'monstrous', not just because he's someone who desecrates dead bodies, plays God and abandons his creation, but because of his queer desire. It's important that in the case of Penny Dreadful 'monstrosity' signifies many different things, literal (being a vampire werewolf, witch, and so on), metaphorical (bad deeds, like letting your son die a horrible death, cheating, killing etc.) and wholy subjective, merely condemned by ignorant society (Sembene's blackness, Brona's sex work, Lily's want to be equal or greater than men, Vanessa's want for sexual freedom, the Creature's ugliness, Angelique being transgender and other cases), so it's NOT that much of a stretch this time.

We also have the whole problem with Lily. Victor is so attached to Lily (who takes up both Elizabeth's and creature's bride parts in the novel) because he believes that only by possessing a good woman he'll be redeemed for his 'sinful' desires, but he's foolish to think that. This belief reduces a woman to a semi-maternal, semi-virginal angelic ideal with no sexual urges or agency, like virgin Mary. Lily is a true replacement for Victor's mother, and his imagined redemption. As long as she's similar to Proteus, in that she's not sexual, and pure like an angel. Yet Lily is not a woman in that sense. She is another of Victor's creatures, so she partially also takes over the role of the original Creature from the novel, a male. She's not an ideal of a Victorian obedient wife, she has power, or tries to have it, but power in the context of patriarchal society is masculine by nature. The moment she drops her pretenses of a weak delicate wife-like girl Victor does not want her like this. He doesn't want a woman that is sexually liberated, because he doesn't like women in this way, and yet, by being similar to the first Creature (from Victor's perspective, from hers John Clare is similar to Victor-a man, I could delve into Brona's sexuality, but later, this thing is already way longer than I intended) she's 'the man' he wanted.

There is also Henry. Henry Jekyll takes the role of his namesake in the novel, Henry Clerval, Victor's closest friend, and a character most often cited to have homoerotic tension with Victor. It's true that some of the eroticism might be accidental, stemming from the prevalence of homosocial interactions in 'Frankenstein' which in turn is a result of misogynistic nature of 19th century Genevian society and in-novel universe reflecting it, but like I mentioned before, it still feeds into the queer reading of the text and translates beautifully into Jekyll and Victor being both extremely misogynistic towards Lily and their mutual homoerotic tension. In the scenes where Henry purposes his plan to Victor he practically seductively purrs it into his ear, Lily becomes merely a female buffer that allows for that interaction, a female presence which is an excuse for male closeness (here I have a couple of examples actually: Dead Ringers, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Scream (in a roundabout way, through murder) and a couple others, but that deserves its own article). I won't even mention more references to the novel, because that's a lot already.

Penny Dreadful, although I believe largely unintentionally, expands on what is already there through the changes it introduces in relation to the novel's plot. I have nothing else smart to say, I just think it's worth considering.

*I use the word 'queer', because that's the umbrella term we use in academic writing for years now and even our lgbt+ group at university is called 'queer', so don't come at me with stupid takes

[nikadd]

show the world (the thunder)

(also on ao3)

It is going to be the day of days of jubilation. An air of celebration will rise across thousands of miles, in homes and out in the streets, in some parts quiet and barely felt, in others - emboldened to be bearing witness to the return for the ages. The entire host of angels watches as the turn of history shifts, as humanity makes the first steps towards reassessing its proximity to divinity since the wise king had ordered the building of the First Temple.

An angel they call Castiel gazes down upon a lone shepherd dozing against an olive tree. In awe of the lightness of the man’s slumber and the rise of his chest, Castiel wonders then if he should let a goat shake the man awake so he does not sleep through the culmination of the promised word.

Conflicted with the idea of involvement, Castiel searches for the rest of his garrison. Somewhere not too far away, Balthazar and Ishim speak to each other in quiet tones; not in secret, but in a comfortable kind of confidence. Benjamin is resting, his wings relaxed, his being hazy. Anna, Uriel, Hester, and Bartholomew are nowhere to be seen, as they are out on watch at their intended stations.

Figuring no one is going to miss him with a few hours left before the Sun rises, Castiel flies down and perturbs the goat. The animal jumps in the sense of angelic presence and kicks the sleeping shepherd awake. The man groans in pain, and Castiel watches as he rubs the memory of dreaming from his eyes.

Castiel has never been above looking closer into his Father’s handiwork, and this is no exception. The man’s soul is bright, his face clear and open, only barely slighted by the evidence of age. This man, Castiel allows himself to conjecture, must lead a happy and honest life. He has fifty more years to live, seven children to father, two homes to build (for one will be lost to a fire), and hundreds of Shabbats to celebrate.

There’s something else Castiel sees in this man. Something he can’t quite understand, as if it’s hidden on purpose. Whether it’s the will of his Father or someone else entirely, Castiel does not know, but his curiosity refuses to dwindle the longer he watches.

Uncertain yet unafraid, Castiel approaches the man as close as he possibly can on an earthly plane. Up close, the soul is even more brilliant, a true testament to the intersection of the holy and the mundane. Transfixed, Castiel lets out a song of gratitude towards his Father for bestowing the ability to perceive the glory of his creations.

The man looks up and straight at the angel’s center. In sweet horror, Castiel blinks and floats even closer. The man swallows.

You can see me, the angel speaks, letting his wings out of where he kept them folded unto themselves. The man, who was already sitting on the ground, rises to his knees and lowers his head in reverence, his eyes still on the angel’s form. 

(This simple gesture makes Castiel feel something unrecognizable. Much later he would learn that it is shame, and a giddy one at that, born out of a deep desire coagulating in his very being. It won’t be too long until another man kneels before him, and Castiel learns the true price for waiting for the end of the world.)

What is your name? The angel asks.

The man blinks - a moment of moments - and answers, “Yochanan.”

Castiel smiles and tries the name out in his mouth. Yochanan shakes with the sound, his entire body trembling against the ground.

I am Castiel, the angel continues. Yochanan opens his mouth, but closes before a sound could come out. Castiel frowns. You can say it. Say my name, Yochanan.

Yochanan shuts his eyes and drops lower, his nails digging into the soft soil. He lifts his head, then, and faces Castiel with a resurgence of life and energy.

“Castiel,” Yochanan speaks. Castiel. Castiel. Castiel. Castiel.

Overwhelmed, the angel inverts his form. The holy spark electrifies the ground surrounding the two of them, and a tremor runs down to the depths of the earth’s mantle. Yochanan, still shaking, covered in a layer of sweat and dirt, attempts to stand up, not looking anywhere but the divine entity before him.

A thought strikes Castiel. Here stands a son of Adam, and one with the sight of the holy at that. Such men come one in ten thousand, and Castiel feels a strange sense of pride in finding one. Under that pride, there’s something else. Something personal. Intimate, even. He knows nothing of the future that will befall either of them, and with every second passing in quiet, Castiel’s resolve to take this chance grows stronger.

Are you a devout man, Yochanan?

//

Castiel has walked among the humans before, but never as one of them. The sensations are strange. He’s still very much aware of his angelic form, but the physical dimensions of his vessel offer a new stream of sensory information. The earth under his feet is warm, the air dry, and the slight breeze blowing through Yochanan’s dark curls a welcome feeling.

The first thing he does is make sure the goats stay in place, fulfilling the one promise Yochanan asked him to make. Satisfied with that, Castiel moves towards the city.

He moves through the streets mostly unbothered by the surroundings. He remembers Anna telling the garrison about what to expect if they were to ever find themselves here: the souls, the rips in the veil between worlds, the architecture. Castiel stands upon a rock that just in under two millennia will be a location of Jerusalem's first McDonald's restaurant. He feels its power.

Castiel stops in front of the Temple. From the human perspective, it is a palace, a vision of the wealth of the Kingdom of Judea. He wonders if Father cares what stone a place of worship is made of, or how high the walls reach.

A pair of Roman soldiers with torches appear at the end of the street and start walking towards him. Castiel does not move from his spot, still gazing at the temple. When they get closer, he turns to look at them. The two move faster, for whatever reason.

Before they can reach him, Castiel is pulled by some unimaginable force into a nook just off the street. With wings flapping in the in-between space, Castiel grounds himself in the vessel before looking at the face of his unlikely companion.

“Long time no see, o brother of mine.”

“Gabriel.”

The archangel leans against the wall and fixes the sleeves of his tunic. Castiel does not recognize his vessel as exactly human, but that’s no surprise. His brother has always shared in their Father’s penchant for arts and crafts.

“Congrats on your first mortal ride. How’s it? Fitting you right?”

“His name is Yochanan. He is a devout man.”

“Aren’t all of them always? Michael knows what he’s doing, spreading the old man’s word. Now you can ride any of Yochanan’s descendants, as they will carry a part of your grace within. Nifty little trick, don’t you think?”

Castiel, being in a taller body than Gabriel’s one, stares him down.

“What are you doing here, Gabriel? We haven’t seen you since Lucifer-”

“Pshh, what? I’m not allowed to pass through? I was the one to run away. I’m the one in control of where I wanna go.”

Gabriel’s tone is light, but Castiel denotes a note of offense.

“Gabriel. Are you here to witness the resurrection in person?”

The archangel pulls out a golden comb out the folds in his tunic and runs it through his hair. “Always been a front seat kind of angel. You have an issue with that?”

He puts the comb away and starts walking down the street, away from the Temple. Castiel follows.

“No. Does anyone else know?“

“Michael might have some idea. He’s a nosy son of a bitch.”

“We don’t have a mother, Gabriel.”

“It’s the first century, Castiel. Dads can be bitches too.”

Castiel only rolls his eyes. The physical action is strangely pleasant, and so he does it again.

“If you do that too much, you’re gonna get stuck like that,” Gabriel warns with a gentle spike of mirth.

“That's not true,” Castiel says, but unsure, which makes Gabriel laugh even harder.

Castiel smiles and looks down at his feet. Yochanan’s sandals are worn but sturdy, cared for. There is a scar on his right calf, probably made by a butcher’s knife miscast against a lamb.

“What have you been doing all these years?”

“Nothing anyone would approve of, that’s for sure.”

“We’ve missed you.”

The two stop in front of a house with a low entrance, as if it’s digging itself into the earth below. Gabriel puts his hand on Castiel’s shoulder. The younger angel leans into the touch, exhales in a rush of air he never felt before.

“I know,” Gabriel smiles, a sadness clouding his features. He lets himself take pause before deciding to speak again. “Come. Let me tell you something.”

//

Castiel finds himself on a hill overlooking the city. Gabriel stands just ahead of him, grand and still.

“Spoke to Dad recently?”

“Joshua says -”

Gabriel chuckles. “Right. Joshua. Of course.”

He snaps his fingers and a roll of tobacco appears in his hand, one end already in smoke. Gabriel takes a long drag from the cigar and, after a long second, offers it to Castiel, who shakes his head.

Gabriel shrugs, “Suit yourself.”

He takes another drag and looks down.

“You’ve been here awhile?”

“A few hundred human years. Naomi put me in Anna’s garrison. They needed a tactician.”

Gabriel nods and pulls from the cigar again.

“You know what’s going to happen today?”

“Yes,” Castiel says, but then amends: “As much as they have told me.”

Gabriel blows a smoke ring. “Thought so.”

“Do you know?”

The moment strikes Castiel to think that his brother, once radiant and shimmering in all of his glory, has lived entire lifetimes away from home. No divine face to see in all the years he’d spent hiking through the universe, but still surrounded by everything the holy word had made. The burden of time lies heavy on Gabriel’s wings, but, somehow, it only makes his visage more grandiose; a testament of strength and endurance.

“There’s probably nothing else our siblings like more than fixing someone else’s messes, don’t you think?”

Castiel tips his head slightly to the side in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I’d never claimed to be a perfect angel, Castiel. Far from a perfect son or brother, too.”

Gabriel sits down on the ground and motions Castiel to follow suit. Seated, Gabriel wraps an arm around one of his knees and takes another drag.

“But I could always solve my own problems without having to get everyone else involved. It was the one thing I could still say about myself and know it to be true.”

Gabriel laughs unkindly.

“Whatever you have left, you’re always left to lose. I’ve spent a millennium with the pagans. Orgies, raids - the whole shebang. One thing about them old gods, they love the spectacle. Mind you, Castiel, I appreciate it greatly, but at some point, it can all build upon itself to a halt. At the last bacchanalia, I guess I got so fucked up that I felt homesick for the first time ever since I cut myself out. Going home was never the option, I knew that, but I knew of the place on Earth that was the closest to what I was looking for.

“So I came here and took a young Jewish man’s face to fit. Granted, I flew right out of Pan’s lodging, so I was still not in the state of mind to do anything inoffensive to Father’s name. What’s worse is that the more I sobered, the more resolute I became in my desire to do something to get his attention. It didn’t take me long. A lovely girl found me by a well near her house and offered to sneak me dinner. She was the most gracious being you could ever find. I put my plan in motion before I could stop and consider the consequences. She did nothing wrong bar trusting me.

“I revealed Father’s name unto her, and she spoke it at the edge of happiness. Between the two of us, four commandments had been broken, but neither of us was counting. On that dark Shabbat night, I felt the closest to Heaven I ever could before.

“Unfortunately, I achieved my goal. Michael came down from his post to discipline me in person, but then he saw that she was with child, and, for the lack of a better term, flipped his shit. Scared the girl. I had to put her to sleep just so she doesn’t kill both herself and the baby out of pure shock.”

“Did you kill the nephil child?”

“No,” Gabriel turns to his brother. “No, we called for Dad’s guidance instead.”

“And he gave it to you?” Castiel lets his mouth gape.

“Came down himself to see what was going on. I felt almost jealous, but that was before I remembered that the whole situation was my fault anyways. He acted like he was not surprised by my behavior whatsoever.”

Gabriel puts the cigar out against his shoe, throws it out of existence, and takes a deep breath before continuing.

“So Dad did what he does best: use the situation for his benefit. He chose to keep the child alive, and instructed me to erase the girl’s memory of the night. I was to speak to her upon her waking to tell her that she will carry God’s own child. She was to marry her betrothed and give birth to a savior. Good PR is worth a fortune in gold nowadays. I wanted to protest, of course, but we ended up cutting a deal instead.”

“You bargained with Father?”

“Neither of us have ever been above it.”

“What did you get?”

“Insurance. I do as he says this once, and he commands the angels to not bother me about the Apocalypse.”

Castiel hums his understanding.

“You think it is a fitting condition?” Gabriel asks.

“It’s… charitable.”

“Certainly one way to call it.”

A dawn-time bird lands not too far away from where the angels are sitting. It digs into the ground for a lone worm, its day turning out for the better already. Castiel smiles at the little creature. Gabriel watches his brother in fascination.

“You know what I think is so special about you, Castiel?”

“No, I do not know. Please tell me.”

“Out of all angels, you have probably the singular greatest capacity to love all of Dad’s creations. Whenever an angel gives you shit, that’s why. They can’t measure up, and they all know it.”

Castiel averts his gaze from the kindness bestowed. “You exaggerate.”

“Not at this time. I don’t know what the future holds for any of us, but I know that you are going to be a blessing upon humanity.”

“How do you know that?”

“I just do.”

The two angels smile at each other. Castiel lets his wings embrace his brother in a tight hug. He knows that once he returns to his garrison, Gabriel will be long gone, and it won’t be until much later that they will see each other again.

“There is still one thing I do not understand, but I do not think it is my place to ask it.”

“No thing like that. Ask away.”

“Alright. If Father wanted the nephil child to live, why let the humans kill him just to bring him back three days later?”

“Well,” Gabriel chuckles. “You have to remember something about Father, Castiel. He’s an old god too.”

//

Gabriel stays on the hill for a little longer after Castiel has already left. Watching the Sun rise over the horizon, he barely moves when he senses his older brother appear behind him.

“I don’t understand why you chose to tell Castiel about the child being yours.”

“Don’t blame me for being a better storyteller than you are.”

Michael, dressed in an old man’s garb, steps in front of Gabriel.

“You know how he gets. You’re only creating more work for Naomi.”

Gabriel stands up. Michael towers over every angel in the host, but now, on this Earth, his vessel is a smaller man. This makes Gabriel smile.

“Nothing she’s never done before. Castiel is strong; he can take it.”

Both archangels turn to look over the city.

“You know what your problem is, Gabriel?”

“Please, Michael. Tell me what you think it is.”

“You’ve never known what your place is.”

“You may be right on that front, except that that problem is typically never mine.”

“Right, because you’re such a bother to everyone else.”

“Sheesh. You sound just like Lucifer.”

Gabriel does not need to look to feel Michael’s glare.

“Sorry. A rough spot, huh?”

Michael looks up above, somewhere he can sense the others preparing for the great reveal.

“Both he and I agree on the plan. It is inevitable.”

“Right. The Plan. The Grand Showdown. It’s Heaven versus Hell, so get your tickets early! You guys got the date picked out already?”

“Two thousand years or so from now.”

“Oh. You actually have one. I was only joking.”

“There is still a number of uncertainties that have to be worked out, and I don’t trust Lucifer to do everything exactly as we have planned…”

“But it is written, and so it shall be. Have you ever thought that Dad might be trying to roleplay his conflict with Amara through the two of you? I’m not going to be the last person to say this, but he should deal with his trauma in a healthier way than that.”

“I think you’ve spent too much time among the humans.”

“Right, because that’s such a bad thing.”

“That’s why you’re here, aren’t you? Father never said anything about you being here for this part.”

Gabriel does not say anything to that.

“Gabriel.” Michael watches his brother with something not unlike pity, even if in angelic terms. “For whatever it’s worth, I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thought you loved all of Dad’s decisions.”

“I love Father, yes. But I love you, too.”

Michael flies away in a snap, not giving Gabriel even the slightest chance to respond, but it’s not like Gabriel does not know where his brother went. In just a few minutes, Michael will tell the people of Jerusalem that the Son of God has risen. 

The Messenger of God takes one last look at the city and flies somewhere he can mourn in peace.

//

Yehoshua stands tall, both feet on land, his face towards the heavens. Great books will speak of a Holy Spirit inhabiting his blood vessels, shimmering through his skin. It is his second first day alive, and there’s nothing quite like it.

He stands on the edge of a cliff, only mere moments ago having been inside a tomb. Beside him stands Archangel Michael, or so the man has introduced himself as.

“Is there something we are waiting for?” Yehoshua asks.

Michael looks at him, looks through him, and turns away, without saying anything.

I dare say we are, Yehoshua thinks, but is unable to voice any other questions before a bright light appears before him.

The light shifts, swirls, and dances, and Yehoshua knows he’s in the presence of God himself.

The man does not see Michael leave, but after a few moments, he is all alone with his Father.

“I love you,” Yehoshua speaks, as that is the greatest truth he’s ever known.

I know you do, the light reflects, shimmers. I need you to do something for me.

“Anything,” the man says. “Anything at all.”

God smiles on a Sunday morning.

//

Castiel brings Yochanan back to where he found him. He looks around the pasture: the hills in the far edges of what a human eye may see, the rivers, the cities that are not yet set ablaze by the merciless sunlight.

Maybe there is some truth to what Gabriel has said about him. Maybe there is a route Castiel can take to learn to love every single grain of sand and every single newborn mouse that shall ever be. There lies a certain pride in being able to do what your parents have told you to the best out of everyone else.

“Hello, Castiel.”

The angel turns and sees his Father stand next to him as a man - tall, beautiful, and incandescent.

“How are you, dear son?”

“I am… I am good.”

“That’s good. Are you happy?”

Castiel only shrugs. God nods in solemn understanding.

“You can speak to me freely, Castiel. I know you’ve talked to Gabriel.”

“Am I to be punished for it?”

“Do you think you should be?”

“I know I won’t remember my conversation with Gabriel upon my return to Heaven. And I think you’ll make me forget I’ve met you as well.”

“You are correct. You’re not afraid of me?”

“I love you. Must it come from fear?”

God looks upon his son in a recognition of spirit. “I’ve made human souls to be the beacons of my power. You know there is not a single entity in all existence that is purer. When it comes in contact with divinity, such as Gabriel allowed in his caprice, it may become unstable. I am simply containing the power within this body.”

“Would Gabriel not have been able to do so?”

God laughs. “Gabriel likes playing gods and monsters, but he won’t ever be either. This man, this child will be a symbol of my love for all humanity.”

Castiel thinks of the tallest tower, of the golden bull, and of the stone thrown at a giant. “Symbols have caused pain in the past.”

“And so they have.”

“What will be of the man after you leave him behind?”

“I shall welcome him in Heaven.”

“Will you tell him about Gabriel then?”

God shakes his head and smiles.

Castiel understands. At least he thinks he does.

//

God watches as Castiel leaves his human vessel and returns home. He knows what is to be written. He sees Castiel in the flames of hell, reaching for the Righteous Man. For whatever reason, he cannot see much further than that.

He lets Yehoshua take the wheel. Gabriel's spark is not diminished by another holy presence, and the man shines in his pleasure to see the evidence of divine love all around him. There's purity within him that God craves. He knows he will miss this, even if its creation was born out of an imperfect union.

He misses the time when his children stood together. When his sister knew what she wanted. Now, all there is left is a canvas he keeps covering in new layers of paint.

He misses Lucifer the most. The brightest star of them all, even now, even in the darkest of corners, until a sequence of events leads to his freedom. Of course, he'll blame his Father for everything, but God can live with that.

Moreso, he shall learn from this experience and give his favorite son a child, too. The world will have a new hope, Lucifer will have a reflection of his brightness, and himself - a failsafe existence for when the meek inherit the Earth.

Yochanan the shepherd stands up and faces God. What's in a name? the Holy Father thinks, and sends the man home. What a good name.

God pulls out a notepad and a pen and writes it down: Yochanan. Jonathan. Jack.

[owlf45]

For the pinned ask game:

7 & 8 for imaginary?

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

How can you live, knowing that someone who can kill you and everyone you love, is watching your every move while in your own home?

How can you sleep?

As Izuku crawls back into bed, Second running his hand in comforting circles on his back, he realizes the answer.

You don’t.

I have a bunch of prose I’m proud of, ones that are much more flowery or meaningful. Things that really pack a punch. But goddamn, these lines bounce around in my head from time to time like ping pong balls. 

It’s simple. But that’s why I like it. There’s no long flowery language. The subject matter doesn’t have to carry the weight for the lines. It doesn’t go on and on and on about his panic and dread in a rambly mess. It’s simple and concise and summarizes all the horror and emotions in a few simple lines. It’s a culmination, a realization, and a discovery and it can do it all in a way that leaves it open to reader interpretation and goddamn if I don’t wish I could replicate that. 

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

This is actually a short snippet from an upcoming chapter, but anyway, it’s a portion of Fourth’s memoirs. (it might not technically be considered dialogue since its. really him writing it to himself, but IM STILL SHOWING IT ANYWAY). In one of the memoirs he talks about his feelings on his and Third’s heroics system several decades after they put it into place:

“I am now but an old man, watching as the system that was meant for few, that was meant for little, devolve into a caricature of what it was intended to be... 

For [the public] to know that this invention bloomed in the mind of the Vermillion Riot, younger brother to the now loved and revered Crimson Riot,  that it had been watered and encouraged by the wife of the Commander than the Commander himself, would crush faith. To know that the reason society is on its feet is due to the work of a man drenched in the red of the innocent would cause scandal. The government, my people, know this well. It is why he has been erased from the public, from records, publications, discussions. He is now nothing more than a few rescued pictures in yellowing newspapers and exchanged whispers in the shadows of his home city. Censorship was the only way to hide their darkest secrets. But in the process, in their affairs of expanding the heroics system far beyond its reasonable reach, in their attempt to brighten the spotlight that Vermillion cast upon our country, they have only dimmed its potential. This holy spotlight bleeds red with their failures. 

Every day it strays from its original intentions. I watch as this bare-bones system explodes into the cultural eye, and as the purposes of its creation have been dismantled and thrown away. 

It is no longer what it was intended to be: a system for the reform of the criminal and a platform for the silenced. Those ideals have become enshrouded in politics and corruption. They have been silenced. 

Every day it devolves more and more into what it really was: a system created by a serial killer seeking retribution, and a vestige of misogyny. 

Every day it becomes the system born from a coward and a fraud. 

I am criticized for being this system's greatest critic. But this is not something will stand for. 

I may only be the ghost of my wife's vast intelligence, but I am of certain will. And this is one subject I am unequivocal of. My conviction will be carried to my grave—the heroics system is a failure. And the day those failures are exposed to the world, there will be nothing left to save it from crumbling to the ground, for its foundations have been removed. 

It is a castle built on the whispers of a broken man who tried to leave society better than when he started in it. And the government, my people, stole that very dream from him before his ashes had time to settle.”

— May 15th, Collection of Unpublished Memoirs 

im telling you, man, when Fourth speaks I’m just. holy shit. he has some fucking HOT takes but when i say that his dialogue thrills me,,, he has his convictions and he’s sticking to them through and through. his voice bleeds through every inch of this dialogue especially, and god do i love it. i love building his character and shit. his ideas are so fascinating to explore. especially this specific memoir, holy fuck. i’m really proud of this specific dialogue of his just because everything about him just comes through so nicely and I am fuckin here for it. i don’t know how to explain i’m proud of it i just AM. 

[wu-sisyphus-gang]

Motion Sickness Chapter 56

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Peach led the way towards the bunker. It looked mostly the same as the one built near Mistral. Dented in places from the Grimm, a sign that there was nobody home. Merlot wasn't here at least at first inspection.

The front entrance was just sitting open, though. It wasn't torn into like I would have done. It seemed from an open fuse box that somebody had wired their way inside.

They had to know about electronics much more than I did to do something like that. And it wasn't likely that Merlot would have to wire his way into his own facilities. Unlikely but not impossible. Especially if he hadn't visited in a while.

A harsh wind howled around us. It was quickly whipping up into a blizzard. I pulled my pipe out and smoked it. I struggled to get my lighter to work and I sniffled against the cold.

"This is it. But it wasn't open the last time I was here," Peach said. "Well not here here but near enough to see it."

"Stay here Peach. Be on your guard," I returned. "I'm not sure what we'll find inside. Merlot is rather famous for his experiments on the Grimm."

"On the Grimm? Why?"

"Why indeed. I suspect that he likes it but I haven't had the chance to talk to him about it. Maybe that changes today."

I rather doubted it but it was always possible that he was really here. Somebody had wired that door open.

Neo took a step forward and together we walked into the laboratory. Some Grimm had made their way inside and we collapsed on them easily. I pulled my shorter longsword and Neo used her stiletto. I cut down a creeper and paced my way over a hexagonal tiled floor. The lights were on unlike the last place we'd been to so I didn't need to use my soul to cast light on the place.  

A Beowulf came upon me and I easily sliced it and it disintegrated into ash and the usual Grimm goo. My heavy boot falls rang out against the tile. Even Neo's heels disturbed the sound of the place with little clacks. It was as somber as a crypt inside.

I stomped on a Creeper. I easily crushed the small monster under my heavy boot. They'd gotten inside and had started to tear the place up a little. Some of the glass tubes were broken and frayed wires sparked.

I felt a warning in my soul. My sixth sense called out to me.

"Someone is here. Or was here very recently," I murmured to Neo. There were giant tubes and inside them were Creepers. They were frozen in a strange blue fluid. It wasn't glowing from within like the experiments in Mistral had been, however.

It was incredibly macabre, even these monsters in the tubes rather than the malformed 'human' Grimm of Mistral. The chamber we were currently in was tall and triangular. But it went on past these white and blue suspension pods and deeper inside. Large electrical lights were on above us. They must be dust run, this far from civilization.

The laboratory had to be totally independent of the rest of Atlas and Solitas.

A creeper oozed from the blue liquid from one of the recently broken pods. It was blue instead of white but only in places. The transformation was splotchy and incomplete unlike the green ones we'd run into near Mistral.

It let out a groaning noise and crawled toward me and I put my sword down through it and into the hexagonal tiles. The ground sparked beneath where I sliced it up after the Grimm dissolved into goo and died.

A voice was coming from further in. A low male voice from the baritone of it.

"Come on. Let's see who's up ahead."

As I walked I sliced apart the tubes we came across with Creepers in them. They disgusted me. Perhaps I saw a bit of the experiment that had created me in these. It made my blood boil with hatred. Not just for the Grimm and their ilk but also for Merlot. And for whoever was making noise up ahead.

It also, and I realized that it probably wasn't healthy, made me hate myself.

I didn't like me. That had been true before I learned the kind of monster I really was. I wasn't my biggest fan. I hated what I had to do to get by.

Even before I killed Ren and Nora I hadn't been fond of me. I'd gotten what I deserved more often than I had bad luck. I was disgusted with myself. At Beacon, I hated my weakness. I think that was when it really started.

When Ruby loved me I couldn't believe it. How could she? How dare she, an angel like her, love a monster like me. How could she do that to me? It was, in a self detrimental way, incredibly cruel of her to care about me so. Even before I knew what I was I had been like that. I loathed myself and it fucking showed sometimes.

But then again smoking wasn't healthy and I was doing that. I was also hell bent on this path of revenge. Had been bent on revenge for a long time now, between Cinder and Merlot. I probably just figured something else would kill me long before smoking did. My lifestyle plus the enemies I had made ensured that I was probably going to die young. Salem sort of sealed that deal for me, too, by being an immortal goddess.

My self hatred was there. It was present even in the things that I loved and in the relationships I formed with the people who loved me.

Then I started killing people. I became good at it too. I hated me for that even more than ever. I hated hiding it from Ruby when I killed Eminence and her Seifer.

Now that I knew that I had been right to hate me all along though… now that I knew I really truly was a monster… Now that I was doomed to die fighting with a goddess in my brain after she made me kill my team I just had all the more reason to hate myself.

If before I didn't like me, then of late I despised myself.

I tortured people now. I hurt them because I could and they… they couldn't stop me. I'd chosen blood and violence and when Wutai burned I'd thought about finishing the job just because I could and they couldn't stop me.

I wanted to kill Raven Branwen. She'd never done anything to me personally. Except through Vernal she'd never done me wrong but I wanted her dead all the same. Still, I wanted her dead. She'd only narrowly escaped me and I hungred for her blood as much as I did any of the others just because I could. I knew it was wrong.

I wanted to destroy Cinder Fall. I wanted to eviscerate her for all that she had done. For what she did to me personally when she took Pyrrha from me. Whatever could have been, whatever had been supposed to be, it was no more because of her. She took that from me. I was robbed.

Her minions like Emerald and Mercury would have to go too. That went without saying but they weren't at the top of my list of people to nix. If I ran across them and they got got, so be it. But I wasn't hunting them like I was the others.

Tyrian I had killed for so much as looking at Ruby wrong. The wounds he'd left on my body was meaningless beside what he had wanted to do to her. He tried to take her from me and bring her to Mother. He had to die for that. He did die for that, whether he himself knew that before the end was irrelevant.

Ren and Nora wouldn't want this for me. Pyrrha wouldn't have wanted this for me. She wouldn't have wanted me to seek my revenge against Cinder either but damn it, I wanted that too.

I'd chosen blood over friendship in my heart a long, long time ago. Especially relative to how old I was. One year old and I was committed to revenge.

Ruby's love had been too much for my Grimm blackened heart to bear. In my depths I wanted the boot and the sword. I wanted it.

Mother needed to go too. I wasn't sure how yet. I wasn't sure when but she'd suffer by my hand. As much as she was capable of suffering. However much that was she would experience it. I was going to cut her into pieces.

She had her fingers in my brain. It made me want to slam my head into the wall over and over. There was nothing I could do about it. Her claws were in me. Nothing could keep me safe from her. I was born doomed to go through this.

My cursed father Merlot who even now I hunted would also know my spirit. He would know what it meant to bring a monster into this world. He would know what he had truly wrought. How dare he? How could he?

It was all their fault and I hated them as much as I hated myself. I was a sword. I was meant for this vendetta. My power which allowed me to grow stronger with each beat of my hatred would allow me to strike them down.

We grew closer to the voice. A low aristocratic murmur. It was distant in this place and echoing beside our footfalls. We would be upon the source at any moment.

I suspected it wasn't Merlot but it could be. It could be… and then I'd give him to Neo. Or worse or something, anything worse. I'd split his limbs. I'd tear his eyes from his skull. I'd-I'd… I was working myself up into a tizzy.

I exhaled lowly and slowed my beating heart. It wouldn't do me any good to get jumpy. I breathed in and out, nice and deep as we crept up on our target.

This hall contained suspended Beowulfs now. I continued to spear them. I refused to be cornered by these monsters should the worst come to pass. Whatever purpose my father had intended the blue fluid to have on them was rendered utterly meaningless. Just as I would one day rend his heart.

I moved around a corner, and out a blast door. I came out into a huge open room sword and shield at the ready. I gazed up over a series of computers up at a man in a deep navy blue suit trimmed in yellow. He was speaking into a scroll and abruptly stopped at my presence.

He tapped a few buttons on one of the computers and a shimmering barrier appeared between us. Sealing me and Neo into the cavernous room and himself in the smaller control room.

"And who are you?" His voice boomed into speakers that surrounded me.

"Are you Merlot?" I demanded.

He laughed. "No, I'm not mad Merlot. Now what's your name?"

"I'm Jaune Arc," I announced.

"You… you're Merlot's creation. You're Salem's son!"

I glowered through the barrier at him. "I gave you my name. What's yours?"

"You have… you have the relic of knowledge! I thought your sisters would reclaim it."

"You know my sisters?" I demanded.

"My boy," he drawled. "I created your sisters. In my own laboratory. I suppose if Merlot is your 'father' then I am your 'step-father.'"

I stared at him. "Your name."

"I don't see the point in giving my name to a failure . In fact, I don't see much point in continuing this conversation. I will be taking that relic, however."

"Not from in there, you're not." I glared and turned my semblance on. "Come fight me."

"Oh," he mocked with a lazy yawn. "Shiny." He started tapping away at one of the control panels before him.

"Neo, do you think you can teleport in there and shut this barrier down."

She looked at it and shook her head.

I guess there needed to be a little bit of open space for her to move through and that shimmering barrier allowed her none. Some semblances had rules like that. Like mine had plenty of laws. Mine was even defined by its rules.

A gate began to open up in the floor in a spiraling fashion. I hadn't really taken stock of it but it was earth beneath my boots rather than the hard hexagonal tiles that made up the rest of the facility.

From the pit a giant Deathstalker emerged. It was slightly splotched blue like so many of my wretched father's other wretched specimens in this place.

It was enormous, at least as big as the one in initiation, if not a little bigger. It lowered its brightly colored stinger at me and I raised my shield and sword. It slammed it's stinger forward but I met it with the cold hard strength only my semblance could provide. I didn't budge. Back in initiation I'd been pushed back by that Deathstalker's claws but I was so much unbelievably stronger now than then.

I slashed out from behind my shield at the stinger where it met the rest of the white, blue, and black tail.

It screeched at me as I bit deep into its vulnerable flesh and it pulled back. It came at me with its claws but Neo and I vanished with our speed. She backflipped over it, picking at it's exposed eyes as I slid at it hard and sliced at its mouth.

"Neo cut the tail!" She landed next to me and I saw her nod. The tail was now hanging by a twist of flesh and little else. It was vulnerable there. I doubted we'd hammer the stinger into its own head, probably kill it some other way.

I dashed forward and I met its claws. I held it steady while Neo flipped over it and cut its tail off. It screeched again and the Deathstalker reared back.

I cut at its claws where they met dark flesh and the blueish pincers retreated from me. It then charged me and slammed my body against one of the grey walls. I pushed back against it with a heavy boot.

The tail came around and smashed me in the chest, knocking me to the ground. I picked myself back up and met the pincers again with my shield. I slashed around it, trying for the eyes and mouth but it must have seen that trick before because it held me far away with the pincers.

Like an oversized lobster. I tried again to take off one of the pincers. I bit deep into the black flesh between blue and white flesh and it flailed pressing against me.

Neo flipped into place again and stabbed it in one of its eyes. It roared with rage, the mouth parts frothed with spittle and I felt nothing but disgust for it.  

This thing was just reminding me of better times with my friends. Not that I had anything against Neo, in fact I probably had the least against Neo out of anybody alive on the planet. She just wasn't a good replacement for my teammates and friends. She just didn't do it for me like Pyrrha, Ren, or Nora could. You know? It was nothing personal. I'm sure she felt the same way about me and Roman.

I dived and brought my sword down two handed against the claw and took the tip off through the armor. The tail came whipping around and I jumped and hovered in the middle of the air and Cross-Slashed its face and tail.

It writhed to get away from my combo and it screamed in agony as I took its tail off and left deep gouges in its carapace near its face.

There wasn't that much room for it to escape me from. I was guessing things in here with it were more locked in with it and less having it locked in with them. I was turning its usual situation on its head.

I stabbed down through an eye as I fell and it writhed and tried to shake me off. I twisted Crocea Mors and shattered its shell around where Crocea Mors was buried.

It cried and began to dissolve into dust and goo.

I walked up to the barrier that guy was on the other side of and banged on it four times. Gong. Gong. Gong. Gong. I began to recharge my semblance.

"Little pit, little pig, let me in." He began to back away from his control panel. I stood and charged for a long time. I got my hands on my semblance again and swung at the barrier as hard as I could, burning my semblance with it in a wild attack.

The barrier failed for a moment and lights on his side of the barrier blared.

"I'll huff and I'll puff." I menaced from outside. "What's it going to be Mr. Man."

He ran away, the enormous coward. I couldn't believe it. He was just leaving us locked in here. I charged up my semblance and rattled the barrier until it broke. I banged at it over and over again and then I Cross-Slashed it after putting my sword together with the shield and getting the broadsword. But whoever the man with the mustache was, he escaped.

I swore and I screamed and I slashed up some of the computers in my rage before I had the sense to calm down and remember I might want to look through them.

Then I marched down the passageway after the mustached man. It eventually led out a back entrance to the laboratory. I sighed. He was stone cold gone. Along with any chance I had of learning about my sisters.

pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq

-WG

[hobbitsetal]

I can’t ever be saved, and what I mean is this: I love my spouse, the kids, a show or game with them, science, experiencing new things, tasting new foods, petting every dog, having a home and other things. Clearly the Bible says if you love the world or things in the world you do not love God and He does not love you. How do I reconcile? How do I hate that which I love and have been blessed with? (I’m aware of the entertainment debate among Christians here as well, and it’s worldly)

Do you imagine your love for God is what saves you? No. “We love because he first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)

“But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.” (emphasis mine.)

Let me make myself very clear: what you are saying is a form of an ancient heresy known as Gnosticism, and it was rejected categorically by the church within the first 200 years of Christianity. Indeed, one could argue the apostle John rejects Gnosticism with chapter 4 in declaring, “every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God.“

What is Gnosticism? It’s the belief that anything flesh, anything physical, is sin, and anything spiritual is good. This ignores the theology that God created us to be bodies as well as souls and that God is concerned about our bodies. This ignores that when God created the world, He declared it “good” over and over and over. And it ignores that God doesn’t plan to do away with creation, He intends to remake creation.

I’m quoting John extensively, so let’s take a look at the passage to which you’re referring, 1 John 2:15-17: “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.“

Hermeneutics! Big fancy Greek word meaning “how to study the Bible!” Who wrote it, to whom did he write it, when did he write, what was his purpose in writing it, what did he intend his audience to learn from it, and what does it mean to us today?

John (obviously) wrote 1 John, he wrote it to multiple Christian churches (probably in Asia Minor), he most likely wrote it no later than the 90s AD, he wrote to emphasize what Christ has done for us, I’d argue he wanted his audience to learn more about the love of God from it, and it means...heck, it means a lot to us today. It’s one of my favorite books.

So we know John wrote it. What else did John write? The Gospel of John, 2 and 3 John, and the book of Revelation are all historically/traditionally credited to the Apostle John. What’s a common theme for John? The world.

Here’s the thing: when John says “the world,” he refers to unregenerate mankind. He’s not referring to the created world. St. Augustine made the same divide when he referred to “the city of man vs the city of God.”

This is the only true divide in life: those who are redeemed by Christ and those are opposed to God.

Given this, I do not believe that John is condemning us for enjoying our spouses, entertainment, and children. I'd go further: we ought to praise God for these things!

James 1 says, "Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures. Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls."

I'm quoting this passage at length for several reasons: first and foremost, to remind you that your spouse and children are good gifts. Psalms and Proverbs repeatedly speak of children as a good thing! Marriage itself, and your spouse by extension, is a picture of Christ's relationship with the church. It is not wrong to take joy in what God gives to us. Indeed, we are commanded to take joy in them!

I'm quoting it also because James goes on from "God gives us good things" to say "because God loves us and redeems us and gives us good things, be like God in these ways and put away these sins."

Galatians 5 is another example of this type of passage, and also brings me to my next argument for why you can and should enjoy science, shows and games, and time with your family.

"For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires."

Let me highlight verse 18: "if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law." Our deeds do not save us. How much love we have for God does not save us. The Spirit of the Lord and the sacrifice of Christ and the love of God the Trinity saves us. 

Does spending time with your family, exploring science, or playing a game lead you into immorality? Does it tempt you to fight or get drunk? Or does it promote love within your family, joy in God's creation, kindness toward your children, patience and self control with your family members?

God is an ever-creative God. He crafted our senses, He gave us the intellect to explore His universe, He made us in His image so that we are capable of love and relationship and joy and play and fun. Don't mistake enjoying His gifts to mean we automatically dismiss the Giver.

As a final thought, I encourage you to look up Brad Bigney's "Gospel Treason," either book or sermon series. He explores the concept of idolatry and right worship clearly and well, and I think that would be helpful to you in considering this.

I have strong opinions on the entertainment debate, too, if you're ever interested in hearing those.

[brokenxfragments]

Thornara, the Beast

Icon Use: FFXIV model

Theme Song(s)

Animal in Me - Solence

Devil Trigger - Devil May Cry 5

Basic Information

Age: N/A (ageless;god)

Gender: Female

Height: 5′9

Weight: 210 Ibs

Species: Deity(?)

Orientation/Sexuality: Biromantic/Bisexual

Relationship: Single (ship verse dependent; prefers being alone)

Occupation: Fighter

Brief Personality: Aggressive — Blunt — Observant

Brief Bio: An excessively brash woman who rarely shows any other emotion except for irritation or intense focus, Thornara is a born hunter & fighter. While she shares a heavy resemblance with that of Rosalia & may call her as her ‘twin’, it’s clear that she & the other are nothing alike, as Thorn is not afraid to get her hands bloodied & often allows her hot-headedness get the better of her. Yet despite that, she’s quite protective of her pacifistic “sister” due to a long work-out relationship that came from when the two were forced to co-exist in one body for countless centuries. At current, her favorite past-time is to find the biggest game or predators that the new world has to offer & bring them down with her own hands. One would rarely ever find her in civilization - not only does she not enjoy the large gatherings of people & finds them too boring or loud to deal with, she doesn’t wish to push her luck with her more bestial side taking over to slaughter everyone & everything.

Full Biography

     Beast. Creature. This one’s beginning was not made to be joyous, nor were there any true purpose to her existence except for one thing - pettiness. The creator of the Beast, for no name was given by the one, was the twin of Lady Salri, Balri - while her sister ruled the realm of Seraphine, she soverigned the realm was called Infernam, a hellish landscape partially of her own design. And there was where one of Salri’s creations had foolishly dared to enter despite the warnings gave to her on the attempt to meet the sister of her creator. Rosalia.

     A forced co-existence of two separate entities within one was Balri’s attempt to send a message to her sister that her creations weren’t safe with her. Regardless that Rosalia’s want to connect was innocent enough, it would make her much more cautious about her decisions from then on & to not take things for granted. And thus, the creature of no name was ‘born’, who’d force a change over the body to grant herself an obvious appearance whenever she were freed. A monster trapped inside a pacifist.

     For a long time, there were no sentient thought that passed her mind - all she knew to do was kill, kill & eat, for the eternal hunger was of design to make her ravenous & angry. She & Rosalia often fought for control over the body when the screaming need to feast occurred, yet while she had stained their hands with blood of whatever living creatures she could find... she was learning. Becoming aware of something beyond instincts - a sense of self. One of the days that the two entities battled for control & Rosalia had remained strong that time, her comment brought an inquiry that surprised the pacifist goddess.

“You are such a thorn in my side...”

     <’....Thorn?’>

“I... yes. That is what you are to me.”

     <’Thorn... I am your Thorn.’>

     With time, she would name herself Thornara as she mentally grew & learned, observing from an rather outside perspective of the happenings around her whenever she didn’t fight for control. Her emotions are limitedly understood - she knew anger & she knew sadistic enjoyment. Sadness was one that she’d struggle to comprehend the use of, as would many other things when she never felt these things. Perhaps that too was an attempt on Balri’s part to make her a creature rather than a person. Yet... Thornara wished to understand better. But more than anything, she wanted to meet her own creator, having seen the kind of relationship her host had with Salri.

     A day would come that she would finally meet her own creator after a unusual occurrence. She asked permission, albeit grudgingly as she never asked for anything before. Yet despite being told that Balri was likely to turn her away, she did so anyway. To her disappointment & perhaps bitterness, Balri met her with a cold shoulder. She never intended for this creature to gain a sense of self-awareness, & even if not she were nothing more than a tool that needed no name. She didn’t want her own creation. This left Thornara bitter... & confused. Perhaps because of this, however, there was something that was felt for the first time by the host towards the other entity that was sympathy. And with sympathy, an uneasy truce would soon follow. As much as Thorn longed to be truly free to be herself, at least she had finally understood something that she might have been craving for so long - she was accepted & considered something of a sister (a very angry sister, perhaps).

     While Thornara herself was becoming more aware & willing to learn, it never quieted the instincts deeply instilled in her, the need to hunt & rip everything apart. Yet she no longer wanted to just fall into them as she had done all this time - with being rejected, she wanted to do everything in her power to be something else instead, not just a beast that her creator didn’t even care for. It no longer was a battle of control between two people - it was more of a battle between them & the instincts. And sometimes, those instincts were too powerful even for the combined effort of their wills. 

     After a very long time, a relief would come for them both in the form of Salri convincing her sister to separate the two entities - a feat that could have been done much sooner if Balri had felt any inclination to help one of her own creations, though that was irrelevant at that point when she made it clear that she cared nothing for what she brought to life & took her sister’s insistence. But Thornara could truly be free with a body of her own, similarly created as Rosalia & the other “fragment” gods had been but with the consciousness that made her the way she was mentally. She still suffered from the hunger, though perhaps with Salri’s help it was lessened. This would grant her at least a bit of loyalty from the baleful woman, thus why she would fight for Salri when Aridem & his Harbingers brought the war to full force.

     Thornara had proved a very capable warrior, more than willing to throw herself into situations that were considered hopeless, but she reveled in these situations. Instead of the hunt for the next meal, she were hunting for her opponents. And just because she hard little love for anything doesn’t mean that she hated the realm that was Eldria - it, too, was her home. She fought tooth & claw to protect it when given the chance. Even when the end had come & she found herself along with Rosalia flung out of the universe at the last minute because of Salri’s final act, she felt... proud. Proud that she fought for something worthwhile, even when it was useless at the end. But now the next challenge was before her, & she wasn’t sure where she was going with it - though she was facing it with her own will.

[traincat]

What’s Peter’s natal chart look like?

An astrology ask! Fun! So the problem with doing a full natal chart for any long running comics character is, as with so many things, the sliding timescale. Even if we had a concrete everyone-agrees-upon canon birthday for Peter (which I don’t believe we do) his birth year would still slide as time went by and that would affect his chart. For Peter to have been a teenager in the early ‘60s like he was during his inception, he would’ve been born in the late ‘40s. However, we know Peter isn’t currently a 70-year-old man; he’s ~30. That would currently put his birth year in the late ‘80s, but it’ll move before long and soon Peter will be a ‘90s baby instead of a baby boomer. The outer planets are slow movers -- some of them can stay in the same sign for entire generations. One thing I think would be interesting to do, although it’s not what I’m gonna do today, would be to run a natal chart for the same comic book character through every decade of their publication history and to look at how the placement of the stars at the beginning of that decade corresponds to the shifts in their characterization or the events of their lives during that decade’s publication. So for example, to contrast the decade of Peter’s inception, the ‘60s, against his most commonly thought of “strongest decade”, the ‘80s, with what I believe is currently his weakest period of characterization to date, right now. 

There’s obviously then multiple ways to do a full natal chart for a character with this situation -- you can pick the birth year that suits your purposes best, whether it’s the year that character would have been born at their inception or the birth year that lines up with what their current age would be. I’m doing neither of those things -- my personal preferred way to do a full natal chart for a comic book character is to treat the date of their first published appearance as their birthday. This is, after all, the day they came out into the world, the first day anyone but their creator could meet them. That’s a birth, baby. So that makes Peter Parker’s “birthday” July 31, 1962. The cover date of Amazing Fantasy #15 is August, so I guess we could also go with August 1st, 1962, or August 10th, which I’ve also seen as the release date for Amazing Fantasy #15. I’m not gonna go down a google well trying to find the exact date and I think Peter feels like a July baby, so that’s what I’m doing. If someone knows better they can run their own. Now unfortunately for a completely accurate natal chart, we also need a birth time and a birth place as well as a birth date. You’re basically never going to get a birth time for a comic book character unless you find some canon detail where they go “and then I was born at exactly 7:37 PM” in some comic, but that’s okay -- a lot of people don’t know their exact time of birth either. We can still run charts for them. The formula I’ve been taught is to use 12 PM if the time is unknown, but the closer you can get for a real person, the better. You want the time of day, if not the hour, and if you can get the minute that’s the best. We’re gonna use 12 PM for Peter because he’s fictional, though. As for birth place, Peter’s lucky -- we’re going to use New York, New York both as the place of his creation, where Stan Lee and Steve Ditko came up with him, and as his most likely in-universe place of birth. So that gives us Peter appearing in the world at 12 PM on July 31st, 1962, in New York, New York. I usually use ASTROLABE to run full charts because they’re free and I like their formatting. Let’s go.

Here’s the breakdown we get from running that information: Peter would be Leo -- that’s his sun sign, which is what people mean when they refer to “their” sign -- with Libra rising and his moon also in Leo. This works for me -- I think Peter is without one single doubt a fire sign, and Leos are big flashy showoffs, which, look at that red and blue costume. Look at how he initially wanted to go into show biz. Look at how he’s remained in the spotlight of pop culture for decades. He’s a scene stealer, an attention grabber, the big ol’ MGM lion. A Libra rising would also make sense -- Peter’s got real charm and charisma, and Libras are famously charming. (And also good looking.) Your rising sign is how you’re perceived by others -- what they think when they look at you. Astrolabe describes this placement as “very attractive and popular, your charm helps you to get your own way and prevents others from getting angry with you” which like, does explain how the fuck Peter has friends. But with both moon and sun in Leo, that’s a very strong influence on him. (I’m a triple Scorpio, sun, moon, and rising, for example, which means when you look at me you think Scorpio and when I look inside myself I feel Scorpio and what am I actually? A fucking Scorpio.) Leo is a fixed sign -- there are three sign categories, and they are fixed, mutable, and cardinal. Fixed signs have a tendency to be stubborn and set in their ways, literally fixed, which -- everything about Peter.

Moving past the Big Three into the other planets, this lands us with a Peter with Mercury in Leo, Venus in Virgo, Mars in Gemini. These are all interesting; to simplify it, Mercury is how you think, Venus is how you love, and Mars is how you fight. So he’s also thinking like a Leo -- he’s got a big ego. He’s very “me me me” in his thought processes. Which, we know this is true for the character. He’s convinced he’s right and that his way is the best way. He’s stubborn and proud, and he doesn’t like being personally challenged on an intellectual level -- look at his interactions with Paul Stacy when he was in grad school. Astrolabe says Mercury in Leo “delights in being asked for your advice and counsel.” Peter is very much the person in his friend group that others go to for help and advice, so I would say this is true. I wouldn’t have necessarily put his Venus in Virgo myself -- Virgo is a hyper-critical sign, good at finding flaws, and Venus is how you love. However, the first line of Astrolabe’s description is I think an extremely good fit for how Peter loves: “You express your love and affection through selfless service to people or causes.” That’s love as devotion, and if you view Spider-Man as a love story not just between Peter and his romances but Peter and his city, that’s what he does. It’s selfless love and that’s what Spider-Man represents at his best. He’s always trying to fix, and he has a sense of service. Mars in Gemini is perfect. Gemini TALKS. It’s a sign commonly characterized by being hyper verbal, and Spider-Man is perhaps best known for his quips during fights. He’s got one vicious tongue. I’m personally very attached to the idea that Peter’s Mars is in Gemini, and it’s where I always tend to place it in my own estimations, even if I run a chart with a different date that places it elsewhere. My Mars is in Gemini and I know my own asshole argumentative tendencies when I see them in the wild. Astrolabe goes on to say, “You love to debate and argue, usually in a spirit of friendly disagreement. But watch out that you do not get too overly aggressive or antagonistic or others will be quick to take offense where none may have really been intended. You need to be in constant physical motion -- sports or daily exercise is a must for you if you are to feel fit and healthy.” I think this is all pretty spot on; we know that for Peter being Spider-Man isn’t only about the crimefighting -- he loves the physicality of it, which is a pretty good reflection of this sentiment.

Jupiter in Pisces: “You are at your best when you give of yourself and what you have -- try to avoid being a martyr about it, though. You're a true idealist, but you must learn not to be upset when life does not cooperate with the way you think things should be.” Again, that’s pretty accurate. Now though as we move through the outer planets we’re going to hit things that are generational instead of strictly personal. I think they still make for interesting character dissection, but everyone who was born around this time is going to have these things in their chart because the outer planets have much slower rotations. Saturn in Aquarius, Uranus in Leo, Neptune in Scorpio, Pluto in Virgo. One thing that’s interesting here is he’s pretty balanced in terms of the elements -- lot of fire, but also some earth, water, and air. The air influence is BIG, too, with his Rising, Mars, and Saturn, which makes sense -- Peter’s a literal aerialist.

Now if we wanted to go really in depth -- and I’m not going to because this is already long -- we would look at his chart on the whole, the placements of the planets within houses, conjunctions within planets, whether anything was retrograde, and then factor that into how we view his chart as a whole. But even just looking over the basics, I think this is a pretty good reflection and summation of who Peter Parker is as a person in his own universe and as a popular figure in the pop culture landscape. 

[youngdisciples]

Believers of Christ often have the wrong mindset about the salvation offered by Christ. We thought that we are given new self and have been set apart only. However, we have to understand that we are not only renewed and restored in the holy family of God but we also died with Christ on the cross. Think about it, if we only continue to think that we are renewed and restored only the moment Christ died on the cross, we won’t be able to understand that our old self has already died with Him. 

Now, as we start this new month, we should always remember that we were not only renewed and restored but we also died with Christ. Our old self died with Him on the cross. He has crucified our sinful and old nature together with Him so that He will be able to give us a new self that is desiring what glorifies God and that is walking in the light with Him. So, as we already understand that fact, our verse today wants to teach us something that is very nice to start this month. 

Paul mentioned in there three qualities of a Christian. First, he called us God’s chosen people. We are chosen ones because Christ is our Lord and Savior. When before, the chosen race was Israel, now, the chosen people are those people who received Christ as their Lord and Savior. God chooses us to be part of His holy family. Again, we can never be part of God’s holy family if we are only renewed and restored. So, our old self has to die with Christ and be born again with the right spirit that is in accordance to the glory of God. 

Second, Paul called us holy which means set-apart. Now that we are part of God’s holy family, we are now set apart for His purpose. God has set us apart, instead of us dwelling in darkness, He has set us apart and put us into His light. After all, we are part of His family already and our old self— our old and sinful self has already died with Christ. So, as a new creation, we are made holy. 

Third, we are beloved or dearly loved by God. We were still loved when we were still sinners because Jesus Christ even died for us but now that we are saved and walking in-sync with Christ, we are now beloved. We are set-apart, dearly loved and part of God’s family. 

Thus, if we are part of God’s holy family, holy and dearly loved, meaning we will be disciplined and ought to show compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience towards others. Therefore, we should be reminded that as Christians, we should be compassionate to others. We have to put ourselves in their shoes, sympathize and empathize with them. However, we must also remember that compassion is different from compromise. So, we must watch out not to overly show compassion to the point of compromising what God intends us to do. 

We are ought to show kindness, not just being good to others but also with integrity. There is really nothing wrong with being good to others and to display integrity in all aspects. Then, we are ought to live with humility— a life that is always acknowledging that we are not on our own and that we can never achieve anything on our own. We have to live our lives acknowledging the supremacy of God. He has to be the Lord of our lives and that humility means that everyday, we acknowledge that we are in need of a Savior. Being saved does not mean we will live our lives with the knowledge and pride that we are saved, but instead, the true meaning of our redemption is to live our lives always acknowledging that everyday we need Christ as our Lord and Savior— that is humility. 

Furthermore, in this harsh world, we ought to be gentle. We are not only called to be kind but also gentle. Since we are compassionate but we don’t compromise, then we have to be gentle in everything. We rebuke with gentleness and love. Christians have to correct each other with gentleness and we are ought to teach with gentleness. In this world full of harsh words and people, we are called to be an example in showing gentleness. 

Lastly, we are called to be patient. Christians should know the importance of patience. Without patience, it will be so hard for us to be compassionate, kind and gentle. For if without patience, means having a big chance of always resorting to anger. Now, that’s not what a Christian should be. We should not let anger rule over us, instead we should let the love of Christ rule over our lives and through that we will then develop patience. Thus, as Christians who are part of God’s family, holy and dearly loved, we are expected to clothe ourselves with all of these virtues. After all, we are just reflecting Christ’s character in our lives so that as we do it, they will see Jesus instead of us. In the end, it is still Christ that must increase, not us. 

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[cosmiciaria]

Star Wars Jedi Fallen Order review! (Spoiler free)

Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order (SWJFO) appeared out of fricking nowhere and to everyone's surprise, it was a striking success? How? But… EA was so bad at making SW games!! I don't see micro transactions and… is this… actual… plot… with actual… good characters?? I'm shooketh.

So, yes, SWJFO is a good game! It's not perfect, it has its flaws, yes, but considering where we come from… Battlefront II I'm looking at you.

The game takes place between Episode III and Episode IV. I won't say it's a "bridge" between those two Episodes because it isn't, and some may argue that talking about Jedi in the middle of those two pieces of media doesn't take you anywhere, since we all know what happens next, but let me explain to you: the story fits so well. So well.

We follow Cal Kestis, your average ginger Good Boi, who's a padawan in disguise. It's been five years since Order 66 and he's been hiding all this time in Bracca, a junkyard, where he works mostly enslaved by the Empire. His good pal Prauf tells him he should go outside and explore the galaxy, since he's young and cute probably, but Cal is so scared of being found and he's suffering such a huge survivor's guilt that he doesn't take any action to leave that planet.

It all seemed to be like another ordinary day of work, dismembering old ships and searching for useful parts, when the wing that Cal and Prauf were working on suddenly falls from the body of the ship, and Cal, who hasn't been using his Force since the execution of the Jedi, is forced (pun intended) to save his friend from falling to his death. Prauf understands the stakes, and swears to keep the secret.

However, destiny seems to hate him, because the Inquisitors (the Second and Ninth Sisters to be more precise), an order of Jedi-turned-to-dark-side that serves the Empire, arrive at Bracca, looking for a remaining Force-wielder who hides among the workers. Prauf steps up for his comrade, only to be impaled quite literally in front of Cal. Cal loses his composure and snaps at the Second Sister, revealing his nature as Jedi, and so the hunt begins.

Cal faces the Second Sister, who menacingly swings her lightsaber with red emitters, but he's too weak to defeat her. Just when we thought that everything is lost, a new spaceship arrives: the Mantis, and a woman reaches out from the main gate, asking us to jump. Cal doesn't think twice, bids farewell to a very angry Second Sister and jumps into safety.

Inside the Mantis, Cal meets his saviors: Cere, a former jedi who purposely cut her link with the Force, and Greez, a lateros who is the owner and driver of the ship. Cere goes straight to the point: she's been looking for Cal (or any other Force-sensitive to be honest) for years now, because she has a clear plan: to rebuild the Jedi Order.

From here onward, the game opens up. You'll be visiting Bogano first, which is the sanctuary more or less of Cordova, a dead character that will have a great impact on the whole story. Cordova was Cere's master, and he's worked and compiled information about the Zeffo sages and other interesting mythos from around the galaxy. Cordova swears that in the ancestral chamber in Bogano, sealed by ancient technology created by the Zeffo, lies the Holocron: a cubic thingy only readable for Jedi, that holds key information about the names of the kids who are Force-sensitives. With this list of names, Cere plans to bring back the Jedi and strike back at the Empire.

So the main objective is to get this Holocron, but to get there, you'll have to go to many planets and explore many nooks and crannies. I won't spoil it for you, because I try to never spoil in my reviews, and like I said before, it may sound like this goal doesn't make any sense since we know they don't succeed in rebuilding the Order (hell, not even with Rey and it's been a whole generation since then), but hear me out: the story still fits so well! PLEASE TRUST ME IN THIS ONE

So instead of talking about the plot, let's talk about the characters!

Cal will be your main character. I read that some people think he's boring, ok, I can take that. The reality is that there's so much more to him than just his dashing appearance (alright, maybe I am biased, since I love red hairs) and his kindness and good-boy-ness. Cal is deeply regretful by his actions during Order 66 and he can't forget nor forgive what happened to his master. He feels remorseful and blames himself for the outcome of the purge. He has a scar on his face that constantly reminds him of it. He's a clear case of survivor's guilt syndrome, and it doesn't take one much to see it. I won't say when or the context, but there's a moment in which he has to ride a escape pod, and he looks around, nervously, as if he's going to suffocate, because it reminds him of the purge – man, there's a lot not said that really touches you. I don't need a character to tell me that he's sad. He can show it to me and that's exemplarily well done with him.

Another example of a sad character, more in-your-face this time, is Cere. A former master, now devoid of the Force, Cere wanders the galaxy with a clear goal in mind. But in her past, she hides torture and some too-close-for-comfort connection with the dark side. She wants to redeem herself and she trusts that this sacred mission will, not wipe out, but compensate for her mistakes. Cere is a great north in this game and she always supports Cal in everything. Her unconditional trust may seem overwhelming at first, but she's careful and she knows with what they're all dealing with. Besides she's badass af.

Greez is a less warrior character but much funnier than the rest of the cast. As the owner of the Mantis, he takes care of this ship as if it were his daughter. He has a knack for cooking and even though he tries to hide it, he does have a soft spot for Cal. Maybe his past of gambler and addiction makes him come across as the one who doesn't give a damn of what's going on, but if that were truly the case, he wouldn't be here, trying to rebuild the Order as well. He has by far the best lines in the script, and he's so unintentionally funny. There was this scene, out of context, where Cere and Cal were having an argument while eating, and he was sitting in between, in the background, adding peppermint or whatever spice to his dish, but the thing is, he never stopped throwing peppermint to his dish because he was watching them argue. Damn. I love him.

Merrin is introduced later in the game, but she does play a large role in the story. Born and raised in Dathomir, Merrin is a Nightsister, an order of 'witches' let's call them that have twisted the Force and use it in a different way than the Jedi. After General Grievous (as much as we assume, because he's mentioned as "armored man wielding lightsabers") wiped out all the life in Dathomir, Merrin remained as the sole survivor of her planet, roaming around the corpses of her sisters with no goal whatsoever. She resents the Jedi and has sworn to fight them even if it cost her life. This led her to get in with a bad crowd… but she'll find a better purpose after she meets Cal (And if you ask me, this SHIP HAS SAAAAAIIILLLLEEED).

And last but not least, the Second Sister, who, as I said before, was a former Jedi who was forced into the dark side, now hunts the remaining Force-sensitive that have escaped from the purge. She seems your ordinary villain at the start of the story, but slowly the plot will be unfolding a lot of details about her past and how she became an Inquisitor, making her as much, if not more than, important like the rest of the cast.

If there's thread connecting all these characters, is their broken pasts. These are all broken characters who now must face the consequences of their decisions, however much they don't want to look that way. They have to reconcile with their pasts and overcome their fears. They have all suffered, but in this suffering they found strength. And each other.

And I cannot not mention BD-1, your companion droid. He has personality, you can't deny it. Every time Cal went like "How is it going, BD-1?" and the droid threw his "Boops-beeps", please, they're having a profound conversation DON'T INTERRUPT THEM.

As far as gameplay goes, this game borrows from other great creations of the PS4 era: Uncharted (you'll be climbing and doing parkour a lot), Tomb Raider (sliding down and tomb raiding, yes), Dark Souls (meditation/save points where you can level up your skills and also whenever you die you lose your exp gained, but not the ability points. You can recover that exp though), and Sekiro (parry. Parry a lot). This may seem to all of you like the game lacks originality, and while it's debatable, I still think that it has a lot new and original gameplay to offer, specially when it comes to Force wielding and lightsabers. Oh, yes, you're a Jedi (padawan, actually), you'll be using the Force! The game tries really hard to integrate the Force not only in combat, but also while you explore and while you solve puzzles. The more you level up, the more powerful your abilities become, and it comes a point when you feel unstoppable. The Stormtroopers might sound cocky at first, but when you start pushing and pulling, oh, yes, fear the Jedi! So yes, the game may look like a copycat of previous works in the gaming industry, but it does make a good use of all those mechanics, while still throwing something new elements into the mix.

The level design is ASTOUNDING, sometimes I turned around one corner and appeared somewhere I thought it was like miles away from my place, and I was marveled at how well everything interconnects with everything. The level of detail also is so meticulous and well crafted, like there are so many little things that if you stop to stare and pay attention you'll be so mesmerized by them. Some of the places are so eye candy, even Dathomir with their "I AM DEATH" vibes has such a beautiful color palette, that I couldn't help but take a thousand screenshots. This game looks gorgeous, and it shows. You know, when a game has a photo mode, you know the devs are convinced of its beauty.

But, like I said earlier, the game isn't without flaws. While I praised the intricate level design, there's also one thing I hate a lot: backtracking. Yes, in these huge maps, there are no fast travels. You can create shortcuts and such, but, if you want to get to that 2% that was left unexplored in that particular area, you must return to it by foot. This is a huge let down for me. I did the game with a guide, so I grabbed most of the collectibles during my first time in each planet, but still there were some things that I missed, and I had to go all the way there to revisit places with the only purpose of grabbing that stupid chest or filling that small percentage of the map, while trying to survive against the enemies, since everything in this game, everything, wants to actively kill you. Damn, Cal was wanted.

Another huge drawback for me that it normally doesn't bother me much were the low framerates. I played it on normal PS4, not the Pro, and the rendition of the game wasn't good. I wasn't even fighting or doing a lot of stuff on screen, I was just climbing and chilling, and still the framerates would fall like under 20. When there a lot of things going on screen, the game suffers from it and it makes you know that the play station is giving its all to make it function. I believe this isn't a problem for those who have a nice computer and play it with the highest specs, but as I know that there are people out there who really care about the performance, I had to at least mention this.

Also, do not come here thinking that this is an open world game. Yes, granted, you can travel from planet to planet with no real rush and take things with time, but the maps are mostly linear (except for the interconnections between each area), and once you explored or got all chests, that's all there's to it. Now that I have completed the game and platinumed it, the planets feel barren, empty, like there's no real life breathing through the leaves or the rooms. And I think I know what this game could've benefited a lot from: sidequests. There are no NPC's here, except for some Wookies at that moment in the story or your crew members, so there's no one to give you a sidequest. But even without NPC's, they could've thrown sidequests from the different collectibles that you come across in your path, or maybe when on arriving at a certain place. There's like one thing that gets close to a sidequest and it's exploring a crashed Venator in the planet Zeffo, but that's all there's to it: more of the same killing, climbing and cutting ropes. If you're a rookie collector, then yes, this game got you covered, for there are over 200 collectibles (I think over 300 actually, considering echoes and chests and scans), but it's not like there's anything in between these, except for enemies. No banter with your crew members while you walk around, some occasional beep boops from BD-1 only.

I think those are my main complaints, but all in all I believe that the good compensates the bad. The last "mission" is reaaaaally good, and they did something I really like, which I won't spoil. I'm just going to say that I'm so glad with the decisions they took. The relationships between the characters grow vividly before our eyes, and we see Cal develop from a frightened fugitive into a fighter. There are moments in the story and in the gameplay where the game made me go like "whoa", I was truly amazed by what was going on. The acting is flawless, the music gets under your skin and the vistas are just dreamy. There so many easter eggs to appease even the most hardcore SW fan! They could polish all the things I said, but if there's another SW game developed by Respawn and with that writing team, I'll be there to buy it.

It's not perfect, but it's good. Give Cal a chance!