#The background actually took so long wtf

[keripulli]

upset? Gangler has something to tell 🫵

Mr. Rodgers ahh dialogue (I listened to “it’s you I like” one too many times)

(She was supposed to be holding the beholder’s solders but like perspective’n’t. Now she’s like squishing their face 😐)

She’s a comfort character to me and this was intended to be /p

also I actually drew the background (for the record)

[stunie]

ok so i hit 30 tags pretty early so i wanted to add extra thoughts under here i am SOOO SORRY OMFG ITS SO MUCH 😭😭 GOD

attempt 1 at reading - thoughts:

i love how you wrote the nervousness and hesitation of both reader and atsumu ): this relationship feels so genuine and realistic, like every thought is so real and complex and it all just plays out soooo vividly in my head. i can literally feel every single thing in MY SOUL. it got me holding my breath, my heart racing, my stomach churning

the kiss . the first kiss where mr suna interrupted . when i tell you i read it like this >//////< EXCEPT MY HAND WAS CLASPED SO TIGHTLY OVER MY MIUTH. oh my god the reaction i had. it really felt like a first kiss all over again, i was genuinely WARM and all blushy

attempt 2 at reading - thoughts:

i loved how u wrote out the tension again .. and your characterization for all of them ?? kita being all observant? osamu being all curious ?

the emotional rollercoaster i am on in this chapter is crazy. i took my first break after suna interrupted (the kiss killed me), and im taking my second break right after atsumu confesssd (i was killed a second time). i was irritated during the cafe bc WHY r u avoiding me, and then the next second i’m like squealing 😭 the way that u write yue !! the way that u write . i am such a mess right now give me another moment

attempt 3 at reading - thoughts:

holy shit this scene . the kissing ? THE AAY YOU DESCDIBED IT from the first kiss ?? this one made my stomach FLIP omfg .

oh god the neck kisses . the .. the everything . my left leg has goosebumps idk why it’s only my left leg am i okay yue ? am i okay what’s wrong with me

i have a little ways to go i’m almost done but i need yet another break holy shit i have been reduced to a dizzy lil mess what have i become

attempt 4 at reading - thoughts:

oh my god ): oh my god ): what am i even supposed to say here. i love how u wrote the smut part ?? it feels like actual love ? he is so sweet pls

osamu interrupting had me jolting upright BECAUSE SUNA FIRST NOW OSAMU ? is kita the next victim ?? poor baby

AGHHH THE ENDING IS SO CUTE i fr feel like im in an anime ): i feel so pretty and so lovely THIS WAS SO LOVELYYY TYSMMM YUE FOR WRITING THIS

v. MISUNDERSTANDINGS

miya atsumu x f!reader

── next: vi. Epilogue: Sakura sweetness | series masterlist

synopsis: A drunken conversation with Atsumu leads to a cascade of events that has your mind practically exploding with endless questions, and with the way Atsumu has been acting, you want clear answers, and you’ll get them one way or another—even if it meant arguing in the twins’ shared apartment on a late Thursday afternoon.

chapter content warning: college au, mentions of alcohol use, intoxicated characters, cockblocker suna (rip), angst, hurt/comfort, awkward tension, atsumu & reader are dumbasses, arguing, light smut (mdni; nothing too explicit), nsfw, implied unprotected s*x, fluff towards the end yay, kita graduates from uni!, mutual pining, slow burn, requited unrequited love, friends to lovers, not beta read.

word count: 6.1k

notes: AAACKKKK last chapter!! also happy 1 month to this series !! i’m surprised i got to finish this in less than 2 months lmao considering how slow i am w writing :< divider: cafekitsune.

Light. Everything felt light—your head, body, voice, heart.

It felt like all the weight of your shoulders had been lifted, and you could be as carefree as a bird soaring through cerulean skies to be one with the wind. Because right this very moment, nothing mattered at all, not even the fact that you stood before the person you’ve been trying to avoid since the new year rolled around.

Tucked neatly at the back of your mind like a silent reminder, you knew you shouldn’t trust your intoxicated self right now—whether it be your thoughts or feelings but the urge to stop wasn’t there, and you felt extremely optimistic about this—all thanks to the burning alcohol that clouded every bit of your judgement.

Everything felt right.

As you met his caramel gaze, your vision tunnelled, everyone, and everything that surrounded both of you slowly turned into nothing but a mix of hazy hues, upbeat music that spilled from the speakers fading into the distance as you, and Atsumu entered your own world—even the orange-haired male with the bright, doe eyes melted away from your view.

Just you, and Atsumu, exactly how it was supposed to be.

With a bated breath, Atsumu wordlessly nodded, and awaited your next move, as if shackled in a hazy trance. He was fully aware of the thundering heartbeat that rang in his ears, the way his slender fingers ever so slightly dug into the scarlet plastic cup in his hand, cheeks burning with unexplainable emotions.

“Let’s talk somewhere else.”

It took all the effort for Atsumu to ignore the feeling of your bare skin against his, the searing touch of your fingers around his wrist as you hurriedly whisked him away into the intimate space of their kitchen, as if to shield you both from everyone else’s prying eyes. Despite a stained judgement, the blonde was sure no one gave a single damn if you were to talk it out in the living room, everyone was in their own buzz anyway.

Nonetheless, Atsumu let you take the lead, whatever you wanted, he obliged. As though he was floating on cloud nine, his body became lighter with each step taken, head lightly spinning, warmth that radiated from your palm seeped into his flushed skin, prickly, miniature kisses engulfing his body.

“I’m okay now.” Resting your lower back against the ivory granite countertops, you stare up at Atsumu through your lashes, not noticing your lingering fingers curled around his wrist. For a brief moment, your breath hitched, stomach churning at the sight before you. The lighting behind Atsumu made him look like absolute heaven, flaxen strands glowing like the first rays beneath the warm illuminant, casting an ethereal halo at the back of his head. It didn’t help how he stared down as if your eyes held the cosmos in them, completely awestruck.

Whatever, you chalked it up to his intoxicated state. What else could it have been?

For a brief moment, Atsumu wracked his brain for context behind your words, and as the invisible lightbulb atop his head switched on, he was reminded of the situation at hand. It definitely pulled his consciousness into sobriety. Just a tad bit.

“A-are y’sure?” A breathless, almost dainty whisper slipped past his rosy lips. He took note of the way your gaze shifted ever so slightly downwards, eyes crudely lingering on the plush of his bottom lip as his tongue briefly swiped against it.

Atsumu’s Adam’s apple bobbed at your not-so-subtle stare, stomach churning with want. He knew this feeling all too well—it visited him whenever he was alone in his room, mind wandering over to thoughts of you which filled every corner of his mind; sometimes the feeling was too strong, other times he could bear it. Tonight, though, Atsumu wasn’t sure if he was immune to this feeling, let alone erase any impulsive thoughts from his intoxicated mind.

What pulled you into this decision was something you’d never figure out; maybe it was the fact that your yearning heart grew tired of the icy distance between the two of you or maybe you’ve truly come to terms with his unreciprocated feelings—you didn’t know. All you knew was that nothing good ever came out of inebriated conversations, especially when it involved feelings. But this could be an exception, right?

“So . . Does that mean we can be friends again?”

It was weird. Atsumu’s voice brimmed with a sense of hope—as if he’s been waiting for this very moment for the past two weeks—but the strange glint in his caramel eyes betrayed the blonde entirely.

Despite your better judgement, you chalked it up to the warm light that casted a soft shadow upon his features; maybe you were too dizzy to see things clearly, or maybe you were looking too deep into Atsumu’s expression—hoping to find some sort of sadness upon hearing your decision to move on, and accept his rejection.

Atsumu watched as your eyes traced his features, closely observing them as if to find some kind of answer; as selfish as it seemed, the intensity in your eyes gave him a tinge of hope that perhaps you could let yourself pine over him just a little longer because he wasn’t sure what he’d do with the knowledge that your heart would no longer yearn for him.

The situation was a double-edged sword, really.

You let out a puff of breath, “Yeah, of course. We’re friends again.” Friends. That word should have given you more relief than sorrow but could you really blame yourself? It felt like a bitter reminder of cold rejection which resembled salt pressed against an unhealed wound, a searing itch that left your skin feverish.

Even if it meant selling yourself short.

Avoiding his eye contact, you swiftly unwound your fingers from his wrist, mentally cursing yourself for not noticing any sooner. A cold embrace engulfed Atsumu’s wrist, where your fingers were mere seconds ago, he tried his best to ignore how his body yearned for your warmth. He gave a small smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

For a moment, you stood in each other’s silence like two predators sizing up one another, eagerly waiting for one’s move before pouncing, the silent hum of the fridge making up for the lack of conversation between one another.

How strange, this agreement should have cleared the unsettled air between you, and Atsumu but why did it feel like the complete opposite? As if the air turned into something more uncertain. You both knew you could feel the uncanny tension rising up, up, up but not one dared to address it.

Swiftly burying it under the rug, Atsumu spoke, thinly slicing through your trance, “You’ll find someone better.”

God, he must’ve really matured this new year because he didn’t know how he was able to say that straight to your face. Being one to wear his heart on his sleeve, this was completely foreign for Atsumu—or maybe he just got better at masking his true emotions.

You closed your eyes upon hearing his response, as if doing so would help you brave the weight of his words. It didn’t. That was the last thing you wanted Atsumu to say to you, ‘someone better’, it was brazen of him to think so poorly of himself, as though he wasn’t that certain someone. It was entirely unfair on your end because who was Atsumu to determine which person was for you?

Even just thinking about it had you fuming, rejection was one thing but completely disregarding the reason behind your feelings for him was another because in your eyes, Miya Atsumu was that ‘someone better’; he was the one who understood you the most, the one who always looked out for you, the one you fucking wanted.

And despite your mind telling you to nod along, and suck it up, the alcohol in your body was stronger; so, you opened your eyes, and furrowed your brows at him,

Nothing good ever came out of inebriated conversations.

“But I don’t want anyone better, Tsumu. I want you.”

Atsumu’s eyes widened, the desperation in your voice was something he hadn't heard before, it definitely pulled at his heart, guilt gnawing at his skin for being the sole reason for your drunken actions. He may be drunk but he wasn’t stupid, Atsumu knew you should’ve kept that one to yourself, he could practically see you brimming with temerity but he’d be lying to himself if he said his heart didn’t skip a beat or two.

I want you, too. God, he wanted to say it back badly. The words were lodged in his throat, unable to slip past his lips despite the best efforts to do so.

It dawned on him—right then, and there—the severity of your feelings for him, the immense weight of it. Now, guilt really ate him away; he could only imagine how the past two weeks were for you. Did you cry while thinking about him?

That was the last thing Atsumu wanted.

Though, amidst the guilt, something else blossomed in his chest, it made him feel like he stood upon the highest pedestal. Atsumu didn’t know whether it was pride or greed; as fucked up as it was, he couldn’t bring himself to push the impulsiveness away as though you’ve infected him with your own. His heart hammered at a thought that formed in his mind, even just thinking about it stirred his chest.

Despite Atsumu’s better judgement, he held onto the feeling with a tight grip, and opened his mouth, tongue nervously swiping at the bottom lip,

Nothing good ever came out of inebriated conversations.

“Is . . Is it bad that I really want to kiss you right now?”

You sucked in a breath, heart pounding at Atsumu’s sudden confession. If you were sober, you’d have a million thoughts racing through your mind right now, questioning the feelings he really had for you but unfortunately, only one thing was on your mind—how badly you wanted to kiss Atsumu too.

Dragging yourself further down, down, down the void of uncertainty, you shook your head in a daze,

Nothing good ever came out of inebriated conversations.

“What if I say I want to kiss you, too?” 

Barely audible but Atsumu heard it just fine over the pounding of his heart, over the incoherent conversations beyond this kitchen, over the muted bass music because as long as it's you, he’d always listen, even if it meant drowning out the entire world.

Then, there was a heartbeat, a passing second, a dip of a finger to test undisturbed waters; the funny thing was that even a minute disturbance could cause a ripple effect for miles, and miles, awakening the dormant creatures that lay beyond the azure surface.

It was swift, as though Atsumu had been waiting for this very moment to happen—one second you were locked in a trance, the next his lips were pressed against your own, a shared warmth of intimacy searing both bodies in an eternal blaze like a blue flame that dangerously destroyed everything in its path.

Shy. Warm. Soft. Rosy. Like it was meant to be. The list could go on, and on but it was as though your thoughts came quickly before your mind could register them, leaving you in a white, empty haze. With the plastic cups long forgotten on the counter behind, you closed your eyes as Atsumu’s body eagerly pressed against yours, strong arms coming up to rest on the granite countertop behind you, fingers digging into the material to ground himself.

For a moment, everything was still, lips unmoving against each other, a time to bask in this newfound intimacy—the foreignness of one another’s body. The earth felt like it spun on its axis way faster than usual, as if day, and night merged to become one; hues of late dusk, and early dawn intertwined like your bodies.

Bitterness from Atsumu’s rosy lips lingered on your own; you never liked the taste of beer but oddly enough, you didn’t mind it at all.

Your hands cupped Atsumu’s jaw, fingers gently digging onto his soft skin, eager for more as your lips moulded together. Slowly moving his mouth against your own, you followed suit to match the sensual pace he had set, falling deeper, and deeper between the hazy boundaries of friendship, and something a little more. Low whimpers slipped past between each feverish kiss as a drunken greed gradually controlled your bodies.

The initial softness of the kiss dissipated as each second passed, slowly turning into something more carnal, and passionate—breaths becoming heavier, and faces eagerly pressed against one another, angled in a way to grant more access.

Was this what cloud nine felt like? Exhilarating? Euphoric? As though there was no one else—

“Oh!—Holy shit. Did I interrupt?”

A familiar voice violently pulled you, and Atsumu back into reality, swiftly jumping away from each other’s hold, and looking over to the owner of the voice. Suna. The brunette stared at both of you—looking like a deer caught in headlights, chests heaving—his expression was unreadable, almost like a mix of shock, and amusement. You, and Atsumu kissing in the kitchen was absolutely not in his new year bingo card.

Well, this encounter certainly was enough to strip you into sobriety.

Your head spun a little, lungs severely deprived of oxygen. Shame, and realisation settled deep in your bones—shame because Suna just caught you, and Atsumu almost sucking the soul out of each other, and realisation because everything about this whole situation was so wrong; a million questions formulated in your mind as each awkward second passed.

On the other hand, Atsumu was equally as horrified, albeit annoyed that he didn’t have the chance to kiss you longer. The thrumming of his heart pounded in his ears, his mind trying to come up with anything to say just to stop the thoughts formulating in Suna’s mind—oh, he knows that look on his friend’s face very well.

Your view became obstructed by the expanse of Atsumu’s back, a subtle attempt to block you from the brunette’s gaze.

“W-what the hell, Suna?! Don’t jus’ barge into the kitchen, ya scrub!” Atsumu tried his best to act tough but miserably failed with the shakiness in his voice betraying him.

As if to make matters worse, Suna didn’t back down, a smug look painted on his flushed face as the blonde shamelessly blamed him,

“Well, how was I supposed to know that you two were sucking each other’s faces in the kitchen?!”

Did he have to word it like that?

Atsumu opened, and closed his mouth, trying to think of ways to deny Suna’s accusations but his mind went blank, even with just the brunette mentioning your kiss had him blushing like a mad man. Silence yet again occupied the kitchen, low bass music spilled from the speakers, and incoherent chatters from beyond the space making up for the lack of conversation.

Before the situation could get even more awkward, you spoke up, “I . . think I’m just going to go . . ” This gained both their attention, carefully watching as you navigated past Atsumu, and out the kitchen.

The blonde watched as you staggered past him, and Suna; he wanted to go after you, and talk about what just happened but the soles of his feet stayed rooted on the ground, too heavy to lift, even the words he wanted to say were lodged in his throat.

So, Atsumu decided it was best to let you go.

Monday. 

Everyone’s enemy but also a day to gather around the campus coffee shop with friends, and be productive for a while. The calming aroma of coffee engulfed your senses; low chatter from other customers, faint jazz music, and the occasional hum of the coffee machine filled the table from the lack of conversation. Despite the café’s light ambience, it didn’t do much to hide the growing tension that surrounded the group, specifically you, Atsumu, and Suna.

Kita was the first to notice the subtle shift of aura that emanated from you three, especially after catching a glimpse of Suna’s narrow eyes trailing from you to Atsumu over his laptop screen; though, he had much more things to worry about than to indulge himself in whatever tomfoolery this was. He’d ask questions later.

On the other hand, Osamu was more than curious, especially after his older twin started acting out of character—Atsumu wasn’t one to engulf himself in thoughts to the point where he’d be staring at an inanimate object, in a complete daze but lately, Osamu has seen him behave as such.

The latter could practically feel the weight of awkwardness pressing against his skin as he subtly watched the three of you. Of course, he did his best to pry off information from the blonde only to no avail; Osamu didn’t know why Suna was even caught up in this but he suspected it was from the party a few days ago.

He remembered seeing you stumble out of the kitchen when he was on his way to grab more drinks from their fridge, the younger twin thought nothing of it until he was met with Suna, and Atsumu awkwardly standing in the kitchen. Normally, Osamu would’ve asked questions that night but the alcohol in him couldn’t care less about the situation.

Staring at the untouched document pulled up on your laptop, you ducked behind your screen to avoid Suna’s wandering gaze, and Osamu’s not-so-subtle curiosity. This was hell. You didn’t even know why you decided to turn up today after that shit show at the party—maybe because you thought you could shove down that memory especially after telling Atsumu that you were fine or maybe you craved the closeness you two once had, and now you were here to rebuild that.

As easy as it sounded, you feared it might not be so with the way Atsumu has been avoiding you like the plague. First, it started when you walked into the café at the same time as the twins, Osamu greeted you at the door before heading inside leaving you, and Atsumu outside. Now, that would’ve been fine if the latter didn’t make a show of taking a couple of steps back to let you go first as though you carried some kind of incurable disease.

The second time was when Atsumu realised the only vacant seat was next to your own, thus, asking to swap with Osamu just so he could sit farthest away from you. And the third was when you had asked him if he was alright while waiting in line to order only to be met with a mindless nod before returning to his phone in his hand.

You tried your very best to ignore the blooming pain in your chest; sure, being sad about Atsumu possibly avoiding you was reasonable but then again, you were the one who told him you were okay now—how Atsumu decided to act after the party was beyond your control.

God but it pissed you off. Swallowing one’s pride, and making effort to rekindle a cold friendship was not an easy feat when the other doesn’t do the same. It shouldn’t work you up this much but it did, and now you were second guessing yourself that maybe it was an irrational decision to abruptly tell Atsumu that you’ve come to terms with moving on.

That night at the party, were you lying to yourself just so you could be around him again?

Whatever. It was too late to take it back anyway.

The days ahead were monotonous, and boring; you, and Atsumu remained orbiting around one another, careful not to get into each other’s path of trajectory but it was tiring. Not only did it feel like navigating through eggshells while he was around but the constant questions from your friends tested your limits. Though, it wasn’t their fault for simply being curious, and getting left in the dark about the whole situation but the prying felt like endless jabs of sharp needles along your skin.

From their point of view, you, and Atsumu were stubborn about the whole situation. None dared to speak up about it, acting as though everything was fine, so your friends were left with very little to work with.

It felt like a game of cat, and mouse where you were the feline chasing Atsumu around. The longer the days dragged on, the more thoughts formulated in your mind, and they all involved the blonde in some way or another. And just like everyone else, you had your limits too; you were tired of Atsumu acting like a stubborn idiot.

When you confessed to Atsumu, sure, you expected an awkward phase but this was even worse. There wasn’t just distance between the two of you, it felt like you were strangers.

He was known for brashly saying the sharp truth, so why couldn’t he be straightforward with you? Was he disgusted by the kiss, and deeply regretted it? Did he think you were weird? You didn’t know, but you were bound to find out even if it meant knocking at the twin’s apartment door at 5:45 PM on a cold, rainy Thursday.

With the sun hidden behind the looming grey clouds, the late winter afternoon was even darker; the roads were packed with vehicles while the sidewalks occupied students, and company workers alike trying their best to shield themselves from the heavy downpour. Despite the streets being illuminated with a tinge of warm yellow from cars, and streetlights, it did nothing to brighten up the gloomy day.

Funny, it was as though the universe knew how you felt today.

“If yer lookin’ for ‘Samu, he won’t be back until 8 PM.” Greeted with Atsumu’s shocked face as the ivory door to their apartment opened, you couldn’t help but visibly roll your eyes at his stubbornness. Yeah, like you’d be here at their apartment looking for Osamu—you knew each of their timetables like the back of your hand.

Flaxen strands that sat atop his head were unruly, a sign that he must’ve been taking a nap sometime ago. Atsumu donned a light blue hoodie paired with black sweats; you tried your best not to ogle the man, after all, you were here for a sensible talk.

“I’m here for you, Miya.”

Atsumu gripped the metal handle a little tighter, the coolness of it seeping into the warmth of his skin. He tried not to flinch at the sudden formality of the conversation. Nonetheless, the blonde pulled the door wider, a wordless invite to their humble space. Giving him a small smile before walking inside, you tried not to think about the last time you were here, and how you found yourself drunkenly kissing Atsumu in their kitchen.

The sound of the door closing shut behind Atsumu reverberated throughout the walls of their apartment, followed by a deafening silence. Met with his honeyed stare, you awkwardly coughed, and played with the hem of your jacket, “I’m not going to take up too much of your time . . but I do just have one question.”

There was a momentary silence as Atsumu waited for you to proceed; he had so many questions running through his mind right now, and it took all his willpower to hold them back, and let you speak instead. It was getting harder, and harder to focus as each second passed with the pounding of his heart—Atsumu didn’t know what to expect.

“Did you—Did you regret that kiss . . ?”

Your skin burned as the question lingered in the air, a beat or two before Atsumu finally spoke up, “. . N-no, why’d ya ask?”

Sighing, impatience prickled your feverish skin. ‘Why’d you ask?’  What the hell does he mean by why would I ask? We made out for fuck sake, that’s something friends don’t do! Why is he acting so casual about it? 

“God, this just made it a lot worse. I have so many fucking questions that my mind wants to explode right now,” Pinching the bridge of your nose, you slowly paced back, and forth, the floors beneath silently creaking with each step. So, Atsumu didn’t regret the kiss but he’s acting like you’re strangers—fucking hell, why did he even kiss you in the first place?!

Your mind was a complete mess.

Trying to calm yourself down with slow, deep breaths, you decided to address the elephant in the room first, “Then why have you been avoiding me, Atsumu?—I’m sorry but I’m the one who got rejected, I cannot think of any reason why you should be avoiding me like this.” Atsumu hated that look on your face—the desperation, the sadness, the frustration. He never thought that he’d be the one making you feel all these negative emotions, and it pained him as much as it pained you.

Atsumu let out a sigh, carefully formulating the right words into a coherent sentence, “I’m just . . trying to be careful, okay?” His stomach dropped as your face contorted with more confusion.

Did he say something wrong?

“Careful about what, Atsumu?! You—ugh! It’s so hard to talk to you when you’re giving me all these stupidly vague answers! I’ve already told you I was fine. I don’t care anymore that you don’t like me back. I just want us to be back to normal again.”

Now, it was Atsumu’s turn to be upset. He couldn’t bear the thought of you moving on so quickly, and that’s why he’s been acting distant lately; it annoyed him how easy it was for you to talk to him like nothing happened but Atsumu knew he couldn’t tell you the reason—why couldn’t you just try, and understand his situation? Rejecting wasn’t an easy task to do, especially if it was the person he had been hopelessly pining for.

“Well—maybe things aren’t meant ta back ta normal!”

What?

You stared at him for a second, brows furrowed as you tried to comprehend his words that lingered in the cold air of their apartment. Silence engulfed the two of you, the distant sounds of Hyōgo’s late afternoon rain seeping through the slightly opened window.

“Do you feel uncomfortable around me after knowing the fact that I have feelings for you? Is that it?” “God, no—I could never feel that way.”

It took all of Atsumu’s patience not to wrap his arms around you—he wanted to hold you against him badly; that defeated look on your face broke his heart but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. Maybe Atsumu was the coward after all.

“Then tell me what’s wrong, ‘Tsumu!”

“It’s hard f’me as well, y’know?!” “What is?”

Atsumu closed his eyes, the words he’s been wanting to scream at the top of his lungs lodged in his throat, threatening to slip out. A wave of adrenaline rush coursed through his veins, heart pounding like crazy with this newfound high, it made him feel as though he was invincible—as if he could say anything, and everything without a care for its consequences.

Fuck it.

“Fuck—It’s because I like ya back, okay?! I always have! And rejectin’ ya was so goddamn hard f’me because I’m still not over ya. God, I think about ya every single second, and it pains me so much because yer already movin’ on, and ‘m still stuck here.”

What?

Flabbergasted, you stared at Atsumu all wide-eyed, the thrumming of your heart becoming increasingly loud against your ears as each slow second passed. Did he just say he liked you back? As though mother nature was watching, the rain outside poured harder; sounds of droplets of heavy water against the roof filled the silent apartment, pulling you back into reality.

“Then why—If you feel the same way then why did you reject me?”

When you knocked on the door to the twins’ apartment, you expected a sincere conversation with Atsumu, not him confessing his feelings out of the blue. You were absolutely speechless—you didn’t know whether to jump for joy because he actually does like you back or whether to massage your temples from pure confusion.

“Back then during the trip, ya told me ya weren’t ready for a relationship yet, and that ya only wanted ta confess ta get rejected n’ move on. I wanted ta respect yer decision, so . .”

Flashbacks of said conversation from the trip quickly came into mind, and how you told Atsumu about not being ready for a relationship yet.

Oh.

Oh.

The weight of frustration from your shoulders slowly dissipated, the pent up annoyance you held in your heart was gone too. Suddenly, you weren’t so frustrated anymore after learning about the whole truth behind the situation. You were able to breathe better with the bad air finally cleared between you, and Atsumu.

Looking at it now, you felt absolutely silly. The whole situation turned out to be one big misunderstanding, it was almost laughable—now, you truly understood the essence of communication is key.

You let out a humourless laugh, “You’re so stupid, you know that?” Taking a few steps toward the blonde, you leaned your forehead against his chest, a hand coming up to curl into a fist to lightly hit it; a faint scent of his musky cologne lingered on the fabric of his hoodie, effectively invading your senses. Atsumu didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around your torso, pulling your body flush against his before resting his chin on the crown of your head.

For a beat or two, you, and Atsumu remained in each other’s hold, basking in the cosy atmosphere. 

“Would I be more stupid if I tell ya I want ta pick up where we left off at the party?”

Before you knew it your lips were sealed in a searing kiss—this time, it felt raw, all things passionate, and eager. Hands impatiently roaming each other’s unexplored bodies, sounds of wet kisses slowly filling up the apartment. The atmosphere shifted from cosy to something more sensual, light groans, and moans slipping in between each kiss.

Your hands rested on Atsumu’s golden strands, fingers gently tugging at it as he worked his lips down the column of your neck, teeth lightly nipping at the feverish skin. Atsumu focused on a certain spot just below your ear, nipping, and sucking at it which pulled a dainty whine from your lips.

“‘T-Tsumu—Ah!” You gasped, his tongue leaving trails of goosebumps beneath its sinful licks against your skin. He cursed under his breath, the dizzying tone of your voice awakening the slumbering carnal beast that resided in his core. With each dulcet moan that slipped past your swollen lips, Atsumu became greedier, he wasn’t going to settle for mere kisses on your skin—he needed to hear more.

Pulling away from your intoxicating scent, Atsumu looked down at you with parted lips, and hooded eyes, caramel gaze clouded with nothing but pure desire. “I think we should take this ta my room.” He panted.

Nodding at his proposal, hurried footsteps padded over to his room as though each second wasted was crucial. As soon as the door behind Atsumu slammed shut, his lips were on yours once again, strong hands deftly working on the layers of clothing you wore, slowly slipping them off of you one by one; Atsumu could practically feel himself shaking with nervousness, and excitement.

Discarding your top on the wooden floor beneath, Atsumu stared wide-eyed at your torso, both hands coming up to cup your breasts through the fabric of your bra, earning a low moan from you. The air of the room felt cold against your skin but Atsumu’s touch was enough to ignite you.

“So beautiful . .” He absent-mindedly gasped, a lovestruck look in his honeyed eyes.

Hands eagerly tugging at the hem of his hoodie, Atsumu swiftly pulled the fabric off his torso in one movement, golden strands tousled from the action. Goosebumps formed upon his sun kissed skin, bare torso met with the cold winter air; your eyes raked Atsumu’s physique up, and down, shamelessly ogling his muscled chest in all its naked glory. God, you used to just fantasise about this, and now it was served right in front of you on a silver platter.

You decorated each other’s skin with endless love bites, sinful hues of dark red, and purple peppered along your chest, and neck. Atsumu took his sweet time to savour every bit of you—your taste, your scent, your sounds, everything. He made sure to bask in your serene beauty, the gentle glow of your bare figure before utterly devouring you like a starved animal, ravaging your purity with carnal desire.

Atsumu let himself go at the raw intimacy of your bodies, the feeling of your sweet warmth brought tears of pleasure in his eyes as he pushed, and pushed towards the newfound ecstasy you both shared. The chant of his name slipped past your lips like a sinful melody, mere fuel to the relentless drive of his hips. But Atsumu held you dearly against his naked body through it all, fingers intertwined with your own as he keenly chased both your pleasures, choked out moans of your name whispered hotly against your sensitive skin.

And as you both tipped over the edge, Atsumu didn’t fail to tell you how much he loved you in between each pathetic moan as he painted your insides white, the dizzying pleasure contorting his handsome face in pure ecstasy. You held him in your arms, nails digging crescent-shaped marks on his skin, whispering saccharine praises to him as you let go, and emptied the words of your heart.

As the gentle aftermath of the passionate exchange rolled around, Atsumu held you in his arms, hearts beating as one, and lulling you both to sleep. The last thing you heard was a faint ‘I love you’ before passing out from exhaustion.

“‘Tsumu, what did ya want for—Oh my god! What the fuck?!” 

A familiar voice abruptly pulled you, and Atsumu out of your sleep, followed by the loud bang of his door slamming shut. Muffled expletives from outside the room could be heard as you both stirred beneath the ivory sheets. “‘Tsumu, what the hell?! Ya should’ve warned me before I went into yer room!” Osamu yelled from the other side of the door.

Atsumu groaned, rubbing his face before turning to the door, “Shut yer trap! Ya should’ve knocked!” At his twin’s silence, he let out a sigh, and slung a heavy arm around your waist, pulling you flush against his naked body before closing his eyes once again.

You let out a soft chuckle, “We really need to stop getting caught. First, Suna, and now Osamu.” Atsumu hummed in response, too sleepy to even think or form a coherent sentence. Snuggling closer to him, you closed your eyes, and went back to sleep as well.

Oh, you could get used to this.

Winter slowly turned into spring as March rolled around—the end of the academic year.

Trees that were once bare slowly blossomed with flowers, hues of yellows, and browns were replaced with endless greenery, and frigid air became more welcoming like a warm embrace. Most importantly, the cold distance between you, and Atsumu no longer existed, instead, it was replaced by fluttering heartbeats, and fluffy moments that hinted at a sweet forevermore.

“There he is! How does it feel to be a fresh graduate!” Suna whistled as Kita walked over to the group, clad in a black academic gown with a matching trencher propped neatly on his head, the golden tassel on the cap swayed with every step taken; he donned a warm smile, one hand holding his well-deserved degree.

The buzz of excitement outside the venue was high, the graduation ceremony having finished just a few minutes ago. You were all surrounded by graduands, all with heartfelt smiles on their faces as they conversed with family, and friends alike. 

As your friends fell into a merry conversation, a warm hand interlaced with your own, giving your hand a comfortable squeeze. Atsumu. Looking up at your boyfriend, he cheekily leaned into your ear, whispering an ‘I love you’ before slowly blinking at you, mirroring a cat’s action. You let out a small laugh, shaking your head at his antics.

“Are you two lovebirds done, now?” Suna coughed, pulling you back into reality.

Met with amused expressions plastered on your friends’ faces, you, and Atsumu returned a sheepish smile before joining in their conversation. “Anyway, we were talkin’ about how we should celebrate Kita’s graduation. It can also serve as a treat for us for makin’ it through another academic year.” Osamu explained, earning a hum of approval from you, and Atsumu.

“How about a spring trip to Kyoto?” —

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[deluweil]

stg the more I think back to the first episodes of S7,

I am more and more convinced lfj/T was chosen for Ryan/Eddie.

Firstly, they actually had chemistry, it was evident on screen, and Oliver says so himself in an interview before the break up.

Second, the whole dialogue and interaction between Eddie and Buck, and Buck and Maddie, was as if Buck was afraid he'll lose his Diaz boys rather than his straight friend beating him to the trunk of a man.

Thirdly, Tommy had a personality with Eddie, he was former military, who loves everything Eddie loved and was into everything Eddie was into from martial arts, to basketball, to working on cars, to boxing fights in Vegas.

Fourth, Tommy took Eddie to freaking Vegas and he met Christopher who liked him.

Fifth, T/lfj face lit up with a goofy smile whenever Eddie entered a room and that is evident even in B&T disastrous restaurant date.

Sixth, when they play on the basketball court, Eddie passes with the ball and Tommy inserts himself between Eddie and Buck telling Buck he's not getting past him.

Seventh, T takes Eddie to the clinic and then home, after Buck, in his frustration with T's presence and that he gets between him and Eddie, physically hurts Eddie.

Tommy being the one to drive Eddie to the game and then take him to the clinic and then home, is just too telling.

Everything that came after that for T from the moment he kissed Buck after freaking talking about how great Eddie is, from both talkers, mind you, is all downhill from there.

What could have been a redemption story for T, dating a Latin man, getting in his friends' good graces again, helping him or even just bonding with Christopher, as they keep clicking, like Eddie flat out told Buck in the beginning of 7x04 on that call with Ravi (I miss Ravi!!) as Buck watched and pined from the sidelines, would have made for a much better story and probably would have had us much more in Tommy's favor than the crap writing we got.

Tommy could have been the Chris to Eddie's Chen (The Rookie reference).

We would have been much more invested and heartbroken at the breakup, if he wasn't reduced to Buck's background boyfriend.

Did I have any affection towards him after Hen and Chimney's begins? Hell no.

Was I sad to see him walk out that door in 8x06? Nope.

It was long awaited because that's how the story was told, when things are tough, complicated and don't go his way Tommy, like all of Buck's previous engagements just walk out that door.

The way Tommy was introduced in his connection to Eddie (that pretty much evaporated after that kiss with Buck, like wtf?) indicated that he could have been written in a different way,

That last minute change, reduced Tommy to what Taylor was reduced into in S4 finale and then in S5 - nothing but a LI.

I was disappointed, not that Buck is bi, but that the LI he had, didn't get the storytelling we all could have had fun with. It was bland and meaningless in the grand scheme of things, cause, somehow, 6 months later Buck still has no idea what he is exactly.

(Buck's supposed heartbreak is a whole other post and it is centered solely around Buck.)

So yeah, Eddie and Tommy made much more sense and probably would have been a fun ride, if not for the truly bad last minute change that turned the "nester" into a cheater with a ghost. And what could have been a beautiful redemption arc into a sham.

[lover-of-mine]

so I saw your earlier post about how Tommy is getting Ali’ed, and I wanted to ask about who you think is the most developed and likeable out of Buck’s love interests? (except Eddie ofc, he’s the best and I can feel it in my bones that he will become endgame.) I’m still in s3, so I’m kinda a new watcher you could say. (I’ve read too many tumblr spoilers and copius amounts of fanfics though, so I’m able to keep up with and watch season 8 live).

I wanted to ask this because I’ve seen so much Tommy hype and promotion on here that I really thought that he was developed as a character and a main. But from what I’ve heard, he’s only worse than Buck’s and Eddie’s actually developed love interests. Before I actually started watching the show, I’ve only heard bits and pieces here and there about 911 and the “gay” firefighters, but that’s about it. I only started watching seriously during season 7, and I’m a pretty slow binge-watcher (hence why I’m only 3x12 lmao). When I went back to season 1, I fully expected to see Tommy (bc honestly, I thought Tommy and Eddie were the same person for a while lmaooo), but then I got to season 2 and saw the begin episodes and I was like wtf? How do people actually like this man? Eddie is literally RIGHT there. Even if Eddie wasn’t endgame or a romantic interest, he’s still a better compliment to Buck platonically than Tommy is romantically. So then I thought “oh maybe he had a redemption arc or like changed for the better like Buck did,” but from what I’ve seen on s8 and on here, it seemed like he didn’t? So that only makes me more confused on why a majority of the fandom seems to love his character. Personally, I don’t really see anything, but I guess everyone has their own opinions 🤷🏻 . Though, I’m scared that I’m basing this on too little info and I missed something because I haven’t watch seasons 4–7.

(this got so long I’m so sorry. it kinda ran away from me a little bit 🫡. Lowkey needed to vent my thoughts)

Hi, darling! I'm gonna ignore Abby, because in the context of season 1, Buck is her love interest, not the other way around, since she is the main character. So most developed is hands down Taylor. Ali was barely there, and Natalia didn't fulfill what they wanted to do with her since the actress couldn't come back to s7. Likable is complicated because Ali and Natalia aren't around enough for you to get attached and, Taylor and Tommy have a past of hurting the 118, so it's hard to be sympathetic at times. Taylor gets a lot of background information, they live together, even though the relationship is clearly wrong, both of them are trying to make it work as best as they can, so it makes sense for Taylor to be around. She tries to love Buck as best as she can, it's just not enough, they are incompatible. And, well, Tommy. Imma be honest, the only thing Tommy has going for him is the fact that he is a man. The bt fandom took that and ran. Basically, they decided that since he is a man and a first responder that meant that the relationship would be super developed and they built it UP based on nothing really (actually based on Lou having a cameo and people paying him to headcanon with them, but that's a whole another you just had to be there), not on the show at least. I don't believe he had a redemption arc, the show kinda makes it seem like being queer excuses his behavior and just doesn't address it. In my opinion, when I try my best to be unbiased and ignore the way I deeply hate the character because of the fandom, I think Tommy is pointedly being written as a bad fit in Buck's life and the relationship will run its course once Buck wakes up and stop just accepting whatever.

And if you think Eddie is the better compliment to Buck and you're still in 312, just wait, they get more intense. It's madness. They are soulmates, I don't care about anything else.

[kanmom51]

Dear. Army

I went to bed last night thinking that we won't be getting anything substantial on 7/6 even though we had a calendar showing us this:

Only to wake up this morning to discover this was uploaded to Weverse at 10pm KST on 7.6.23 (and an hour later to YT).

Where do I start?

By saying how amazing JM is, how much I love him and his voice and this song.

This man is an angel pure and simple.

What did I notice?

First of all the big ass miss out by releasing it at 10 pm KST and not 10:13 pm. All it took was a little more thought put into it. Just a little more.

Well, the next most obvious is of course the absence of a certain Jeon Jungkook in person, performing this song together with JM.

And why do I say in person?

Because even though every other single background sound and vocal was wiped from this performance, JK's background vocals, although subdued, were still there.

Do I admit that I am disappointed?

Fuck yeah.

I'm not only disappointed, I'm actually furious. Not at JM. Not at JK. But at the friggin company that isn't allowing those two to be in one frame, and has been doing this for months now.

And if you pipe up and say: "well that's not true, we've seen them in content together", stop for one second and think about what you are saying, what content that was. Ot7 content (no choice they are all there - and when they were, thinking of the last BTB JM was as loud as fuck, can't help but wonder why - or not) and JM's dance practice BTB, in which we got to see less than a minute of JK at JM's SMF pt. 2 practice. And about that one: first of all, we probably wouldn't have gotten to see that one if not for JM and JK's interaction in JM's live mentioning JK came to see him practicing, and second of all, go have a lookie what was shown to us in that BTB (we don't even get to see JK arriving to the practice - perhaps not to show us not JM's reaction to him arriving nor just how long he stayed there) and compare it to the Like crazy MV BTB and Jhope visiting JM.

And I'm sure I said this before, how stupid this all is, when it's as clear as day (well, thank god for JK and his rebellious streak) that these two are as close as can be. Couple or not. So wtf is the company so scared of? At this point, with everything that JK has been doing in the past few months (and it's not only JK, JM is part of it too of course, but admittedly JK is just not giving a fuck anymore, while JM is doing what he can within his own respectful and very intelligent way) it's bloody ridiculous not having them in content together.

You may think I'm over reacting here, but this is a long time coming, this angry rant of mine. And this here, as expected as it was, it pushed me over the line.

Like I said, It's not like I didn't see this coming. I knew in my heart that they will do this. Try to nullify Letter's importance to JM and JK. Whitewash it as a song for army. But somewhere, somehow, I still had some hope. Well, that one was a bust. And I guess knowing it's coming doesn't change that ache in the gut once it actually does come.

I ask myself, would it have been too obvious in their books? JM and JK singing this together? But why? If it's an innocent letter to army? A token of JM's love for army?

I guess we all know the answer to that.

So, then I am sitting here and thinking about what I said about JM.

How intelligent he is. How he does things within the 'allowed' limitations but still gets the message through.

He did it with the song's name for starters. It's not "Dear Army", which would make it addressed to army, it's "Dear. Army". By adding the period between the Dear and the Army, you literally have him addressing 2: Dear (which we know exactly who that is) and Army.

We have said this over and over again. This song is a song for JK disguised as a song for army. Dear does come first out of the two after all, lol. No, but this is just how things have to be, as long as they remain closeted, and that is totally understandable. This is how JM is telling us all what his feelings are for JK. He's telling JK and us. I know that there are those who believe that the song is talking to us in some parts and to JK in others. I'm not one of them. I believe this whole song (and the original lyrics say it all in my opinion) is addressed to JK. He is Dear. He is the one the Letter was written to. But in saying that, it was given as a gift to us. JM is allowing us to see what they mean to each other. And a gift that certainly is.

I also think about the fact that JM in this performance stripped the song down. No wave sounds. No harmonica. None of his own background vocals. The guitar, it's not him playing (unlike in the actual recorded song). All making it a little less personal perhaps (while singing it to army for Festa). But then, he made sure to leave one thing, and that's JK's background vocals, as soft as they may be, they are still there.

2 things I get from that (and yes, this is art and it's open to interpretation):

First of all, he's stripped the song of it's intimate setting (settings that were him and JK and what was between them).

Second of all, he left JK's vocals in but softer. JK isn't there with him, but JM is still telling us that JK is an inseparable part of this song. That the song can still exist without the waves and the harmonica and his own background vocals, but not without JK. JM even goes quiet at one point during that verse so we can hear JK's vocals clearer.

Maybe that's me being over melodramatic here, but that's what I feel at the moment.

Did you notice how JM doesn't look once at the camera, at us, while singing the song? Not once. The first and only time he looks at the camera, at us, and smiles, is when the song ends.

You know why?

Cause the man, he ain't singing that song to us. He's singing it for us to hear, but we aren't the recipients.

Oh, and did you see the smile on his face once he starts the verse with "baby", yes, that same verse where JK joins in?

I'm sorry, but you can even hear the smile in his voice as he's singing "baby"...

I apologize that this post isn't all filled with joy and gratitude that we got to see JM performing Letter (Dear. Army). But I have always been honest with you guys, and that is not going to change.

Don't get me wrong. I'm over the moon that we got to hear JM sing this live.

But I'm also sad.

I'm sad because I know how important this song is to both JM and JK. I know that JK would have joined JM in a heartbeat if only given a chance to, or more so, if allowed to. There is no way under the sun that JK was given the chance and declined. NO WAY. So there you have it.

[freckled-words]

Animal Transformation

This took way too long, but that tends to happen when you don't have a really strong idea for the plot. I'm also super rusty, but I think I got my swing back towards the end.

Hope you enjoy the read, and let me know if you spot any spelling mistakes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Turns out even frost giants have allergies, and it has the funniest effects on a certain trickster’s shapeshifting control.

Or

Darcy watches as Loki loses control of his shapeshifting magic, and she just can't resist a furry face.

“Community service” was the polite term used to describe Loki’s return to Earth.

“Doing whatever the Hell we say” is the more accurate description, as coined by Director Fury during the initial meeting.

Thanks to a curse/spell from Odin, Loki’s magic and strength was moderated by whichever task Loki was assigned to at the time.

When he was sent out to clean up trash in Central Park (disguised and under Natasha’s supervision) he was as strong as an average citizen.

If he went out with the Avengers to deal with a threat, he was allowed just enough magic and strength as was needed to defend himself.

In-between his assignments, and back in the Tower, he was set to about mid-level Godly might (just in case a Hulk suddenly appeared or an accidental arrow went flying his way.) 

The combination of ‘cursed weakness’ and menial labor, unsurprisingly, lead to a consistently pissy Loki. The closest thing Darcy had seen to a smile on him was the trademark smirk, right before he said something snarky.

Even though Darcy hated Loki’s guts for all the death and destruction he’d brought to New York, she also couldn’t stop herself from adding him onto her ‘Take Care List.’ Much to most everyone’s surprise (Jane had long since accepted that Darcy couldn’t help herself.)

She didn’t go out of her way to kneel and curtsey around him or anything, but she did make sure he got a mug of tea or coffee when she was doing the rounds in the morning. As well as a decent portion of food like the other bottomless pits that had to be fed (with Thor back on Earth, the grocery bills knocked up another couple hundred.)

Anytime Loki bothered to acknowledge Darcy, it was never in a polite fashion, and Darcy made sure to give just as good as she got.

“I see Midgardian cuisine is just as lacking as the people.”

“I see your manners didn’t make the trip from Asgard.”

“If you’re going to offer me food, at least make certain it's cooked.”

“Gee why didn’t I think of that? Oh right, dumpster fires don’t get a say in what they get.”

It became something of a routine for them to exchange barbs at least once or twice a day, and by Loki’s second month in residence, the other members in the Tower stopped bracing for Loki to lash out at Darcy.

Darcy just came to accept this as part of her new normal, and rolled with whatever weirdness that came along with it.

Right up until the weirdness took a detour into ‘omg wtf’ territory.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**********~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“...Avengers were seen fighting against what was described as a hoard of mutated bi-pedal flowers.”

Anytime the Avengers were called out for a mission Darcy kept the TV on in the background so she could get updates on what kind of mess she might be helping to clean up later. JARVIS was great for giving her updates on everyone’s physical well being, but he couldn’t necessarily predict how the team’s mood was going to be once they got home.(When there was a HYDRA mission, it was home-made pizza night. Apparently slamming around a massive ball of dough was very therapeutic for Bucky.)

The news being a bit slower than actual events, Darcy wasn’t surprised when JARVIS announced the team was returning in the next 10 minutes, along with a cryptic note of, “No major injuries to report, however Dr.Banner does advise no immediate physical contact.”

The last time JARVIS passed on this kind of note, the Avengers had gone up against a T-Rex made of enchanted septic waste (sometimes D&D nerds manage to get their hands on blackmarket magic, and it never ends well for anyone.)

Having (barely) survived Death-By-Foul-Poo-Stank, Darcy figured her nose could handle some overly strong floral perfume coming from the team’s gear. With Jane’s blessing, she was ready and waiting for them in the kitchen 20 minutes later. She’d brought out multiple boxes of kleenex, a handful of neti pots, and every brand of allergy medication in existence.

The first waft of thick flowery perfume drifted in with Steve, and nearly had her choking as her eyes watered, “Cripes Steve, how is this almost worse than the Fecal-Rex?!” Grabbing a handful of kleenex she blew her nose and dabbed at her eyes.

“Just be lucky you’re getting this, and not the full bouquet. There was every kind of flower there, and everyone but me, Bucky, and Bruce nearly dropped from an immediate allergic reaction.” Steve grabbed one of the neti pots and looked over the instruction card that came with it.

Darcy could just imagine Tony having to flip up his face visor to keep from coating it with his sneezes, while Clint cursed trying to zero in on his target with his eyes burning and watering.

“Wait so even Thor -”

What had to be the loudest sneeze in existence went off, followed by the lights flickering erratically throughout the room.

Thor entered a moment later blowing his nose into a wad of paper towels. The skin around his nose and eyes were bright red, evidence that he’d been rubbing at them for a while already.

“I didn’t think anything on Earth would be able to infect your whole Godly-Alien-Race?” She asked while pushing a box of lotioned kleenex towards him. 

Thor accepted the softer tissues and yanked out ten to hold in his hand, ready for the next sneeze, his voice was congested when he answered, “Nor did we. Banner believes their mutated state amplified their pollen’s properties.” He blew his nose again, and Darcy winced at the sound of his tortured sinuses.

“What about Loki? He’s not human or Asgardian, how is he faring?” Thor had explained his brother’s origins to everyone over drinks the night before Loki had been brought to the tower. A couple members of the team concluded that Loki’s destructive behavior must have been a kind of psychotic break, what with his whole life being flipped upside down and dipped in ice water.

Thor and Steve exchanged a look, one that nearly had them both coughing back a round of laughter.

Squinting Darcy pressed, “What happened to Frosty the Snow Giant? It was something good wasn’t it? Give me the deets ~” She crept closer to Thor, wiggling her fingers towards the box of kleenex as though she were going to snatch it back.

Thor grabbed the box and turned away, his smile spreading, “During the fray, Loki was met with the misfortune of having his entire head swallowed by one of the flowers.”

Steve’s smile curled towards ‘I enjoy trouble’ and added on, “Turns out getting a nose of the stuff is worse than just breathing it in.”

“So Loki is…?” She prompted already knowing the answer had to be good.

“Hiding in his room.” Natasha supplied, slipping around Thor to grab a box of lotioned kleenex herself. Unlike Steve and Thor, she’d gone straight to her room to shower and change into clean clothes.

Images of Loki with a purple rash all over his face, or icicle snot hanging out of his nose popped into Darcy’s mind. 

“Well if he’s feeling that rough, then I’m sure he’d appreciate some tissues and allergy meds. I’m just gonna…” Darcy grabbed the extra strength Benadryl, the last box of lotioned Kleenex and one of the Neti pots.

Her arms full she made a beeline for the elevator, and chose to ignore Steve’s question of, “Is she still safe?”

One quick elevator ride, and a hop-skip down the hallway had Darcy standing in front of Loki’s door. 

Since her hands were full, Darcy called out,“Loki, you in and decent? I’ve got a sniffles care package for you.”

“Go away, Serf.” 

Darcy rolled her eyes. ‘Serf’ was Loki’s default nickname when he couldn’t be bothered to think of a better insulting name. 

Even through the door she could hear the rapid fire sneezes that followed, as well as a muffled cough. 

“You can either let me in, and choose what state of dress you’re in, or JARVIS opens the door and I get to see just how much of a rash you have on your ass right now.” It was a shallow bluff at best, but she couldn’t just walk away without trying first.

The annoyed noise that traveled through the door sounded an awful lot like a growl, more so than the usual one she was able to get out of him when she pushed his buttons.

A second later the door opened.

Biting down on her lips to try and not smile too smugly Darcy marched in, “Good choice Frosty. You’ll thank me later when you’re not missing three layers of ski…nnnnyah?” 

With all the apartments in the tower having the same layout Darcy had gone straight for Loki’s small living room to place her bundle on the coffee table. 

She’d glimpsed Loki from the corner of her eye as she’d breezed into the room, and hadn’t spotted any bright red or pink on him. When she straightened and faced him properly, her brain and mouth had a disconnect. 

Loki still stood by the door, which he was still holding open, his battle gear was gone and his hair was damp from his shower. Like Thor the skin around his nose was chaffed from blowing, and his eyes slightly puffy, and for reasons that Darcy’s brain couldn’t fathom there were two black, white tipped fuzzy ears on his head and a twitching, fluffy, black, white tipped fox tail peeking out from his back. 

“Uhhhhhh….” 

“Make your jokes, then leave.” Even congested Loki’s tone was clear in his frustration.

Darcy held her hands up, “Hey there’s no shaming here, just confusion. Last time I checked, allergies didn’t turn people into furries.”

“I am not…” He broke into a fit of sneezes, “Whatever nonsense term that is. I’ve simply…” More sneezing, “Been struggling with my Seidr.”

Darcy hummed and nodded, not really understanding but didn’t think it smart to push him into a more in-depth explanation. His sneezes were so close together and harsh, she was getting worried about the amount of air he was getting into his lungs.

“Regardless, maybe some meds will help. I suggest taking like, 4 of the Benadryl. If it works it’ll knock you on your ass, but it’ll also stop the sneezing and congestion.” She was making her way towards the door as she spoke and stopped just by the opening, “Any chance I can-” She reached towards his twitching tail.

“Leave.”

“I’ll come check on ya in a couple hours!” As badly as Darcy wanted to touch the fluffy tail, she was not ready to die for the attempt.

~~~~ THREE HOURS LATER ~~~~~~~~

Darcy juggled the three tupperware containers of food in one arm while she did her best to knock with the other, “Loki you good? I’ve got food.”

She didn’t hear any approaching footsteps, and was startled when the door was opened.

Darcy barely got clear of the door before Loki shut it. Turning to face him, she just about dropped the food.

“I can’t tell if this means the Benadryl helped or not.” She offered as an opening for him to explain.

Loki still had the ears and tail, but now there was fur around the edges of his face, covering his hands and feet, his nails had blackened into claws, and there were definitely whiskers growing out of his cheeks.

Loki blinked down at her, his nose twitched (was he about to sneeze or was he testing her scent?) and she saw something shift in his mind as his pupils widened then shrank, he blinked and his usual scowl returned to his face, “How did you get in here?”

Darcy cocked her head to the side, “You let me in, just now, and almost hit me with the door. Did fur grow inside your brain too? Do I need to call Bruce?”

Her concern crossed from surface level to genuine as she watched Loki look down at his hands and wiggle his clawed fingers, his expression was hard to read with his eyebrows blending into his new furry hairline but she was certain he was looking confused himself. “Damn.” The word was uttered so quietly Darcy might have missed it if she weren’t standing so close.

“Loki, you’re seriously worrying me dude.” Again his ears twitched in her direction.

“I’m touched.” Darcy took the dry sarcasm as a good sign, “The only thing you should be concerned about is keeping your blithering trap shut. It was bad enough when it was just the ears and tail. If The Oaf hears of this, there will be no end to his ridicule.”

The more Loki said, the more Darcy relaxed. It was a sad reflection on her life when she was happy to have the mass murdering alien give her a hard time.

Opting to ignore his bluff (she’d long since realized that he could bark all he wanted, if he ever hurt her he’d immediately be kicked back to Asgard) Darcy went to his kitchen and put down the tupperware containers, “Don’t worry your fuzzy little head, I won’t tell anyone…” Faster than Loki could anticipate, she whipped up her phone and snapped a picture, “I will show everyone though, unless you let me touch your ears or tail.” She shoved her phone down the front of her shirt and between her boobs, uncaring of the extra cleavage she was flashing him in the process.

Loki’s upper lip drew back revealing some rather pointy canines, “Impudent wench.”

Darcy smirked as she rocked on her heels, “Oh come on Fuzz Butt, you can’t tell me no one’s ever wanted to see what your transformed fur feels like.”

“None have ever been so brazen or foolish to try.” Loki bit back. He was becoming so agitated his tail was swishing, and his ears had flattened on his head.

‘Dammit, now he’s just looking cute.’ 

He was also looking a little unsteady. With each swish of his tail, Loki wobbled the slightest bit, and his eyelids seemed to be struggling to stay open.

“How many of those Benadryl did you end up taking?” She hadn’t heard him sneeze once since she came in, and the skin around his nose and eyes had returned to normal.

“The four you recommended had no effect, so I added another five. The sneezing stopped just before…” Loki caught himself before he could finish outing himself. Shaking his head he staggered off towards the couch, “Leave Serf. I require rest.”

She really, really wanted to push her luck and remind him about the whole Fuzzy Picture threat, but it wasn’t as much fun if the other member of the party was spiraling towards a crash. Cause damn, NINE?! If one Benadryl was enough to turn a regular human into a zombie, then nine must be bordering on a coma.

“Fine, but don’t think this isn’t over. I’ll come back in an hour and make sure you’re still breathing.” 

She saw a feeble, black fuzzy hand lift up to acknowledge he’d heard her.

Darcy left but made sure to leave the door unlocked. Quietly she called out, “JARVIS keep an eye on his vitals and let Bruce or Thor know if his heart stops or something.”

“Of course Ms.Lewis…Shall I let you know when it’s been an hour?” 

Unsurprised that JARVIS had been listening in on the conversation in Loki’s room, Darcy gave a thumbs up to the nearest camera she could see, “That’d be great J.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 45 MINS LATER ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ms.Lewis, I thought I should inform you that there has been a change in Prince Loki’s condition.” Darcy tried not to cringe too much from having JARVIS say this directly into her bluetooth headphones (a welcoming gift from Tony.)

Glancing over to where she could see Bruce working at his station she figured this wasn’t a life threatening change to Loki’s condition. Not many realized just how much intelligence Tony’s AI had, but Darcy was no fool. She grew up worshiping the internet, and treating ‘The Matrix’ and ‘The Terminator’ like prophecies. 

If JARVIS thought this was something only she needed to know about then she’d take it as the gift that it was.

A quick elevator ride later and she was back at his door.

She knocked lightly and let herself in, “Loki? JARVIS says you might need help.”

There came a slight whimper (or was that a whine?) from the living room.

This late in the afternoon the sunlight had moved away from Loki’s windows, and none of the lights had been turned on. Everything was cast in shadows and patches of darkness, making it hard to see anything.

“Loki?” 

Darcy hit the switch for the kitchen light so she didn’t accidentally blind/enrage the half-transformed frost giant.

Able to see Darcy watched as what she had initially thought to be a deep pocket of shadows uncurled from the bottom of the coffee table. 

A black fox the size of a St.Bernard stretched out like a cat as unfocused green eyes blinked in her direction.

“Oh my Gods.” 

She wanted to take all the pictures, but she also wanted to try touching him. When he was still humanoid the fur had looked silky, as a full fox it looked absolutely luxurious and Darcy just had to get her fingers into it.

She had never interacted with foxes before though, and didn’t know how unhinged Loki’s brain was going to be with all that Benadryl in his system.

Finished stretching he ventured a couple steps closer, his nose to the air to scent the new presence in his home. Some of Loki’s consciousness must have been working, cause the fox’ ears went down and it spun around to hop onto the couch.

‘I’ve just been brushed off by a fox.’ Loki could brush her off a million times and she wouldn’t bat an eye, but Fox-Loki showing her such little interest just felt like a bitch slap.

“Rude.” 

Going over to the couch she watched as Loki laid down with his head resting between his two front paws. His eyes closed and a rather un-fox like sigh came out through his nose. 

Darcy crouched down to eye level and told him, “You know you make a very pretty fox.” Other than his ear twitching Loki didn’t acknowledge her.

“May I please pet you, your Foxiness?” Murderous Asshole or not, Darcy wasn’t going to touch without consent. 

His eye cracked open, regarding her for a moment then closed and another long sigh was released. Darcy took it as one of resignation and beamed. Finally she could get this out of her system!

As gently as she could she placed her hand on his head; he didn’t move away or twist around to snap at her, confirming that he had given in. 

She stroked down along his spine, marveling at the feel of his thick, silky fur. Bringing her hand back to his head she lightly scratched around the base of his ears, the fur there was much softer and she had to bite her lip to keep from gushing out more praises to him. 

Her petting was kept strictly to his back and the top of his head, areas that most animals considered to be safe zones. As much as she wanted to touch his tail she didn’t know how sensitive it was and didn’t want to push it. 

Darcy cut herself off after about five minutes, plus her legs were screaming in protest from holding that crouched position so long. 

A woman of her word Darcy dug out her phone and deleted the picture of Loki the Were-Fox. Satisfied she whispered to Loki, “There now no one but me and JARVIS knows what a half fox, half Frost Giant looks like. I also won’t tell anyone that you totally lost control due to overdosing on allergy medicine. You’ll be back to your entitled asshole self by tomorrow morning.”

This got her a small indignant huff. 

Darcy let herself out and made sure the door locked behind her. 

It was only after the door’s lock had clicked that Loki released his animal shape. It took a bit slower than usual, but he wasn’t quite back in focus just yet. 

Back in his usual form he resettled on the couch. With not a single piece of clothing on his body, the material didn’t feel quite as comfortable as it had in his fox shape. 

The Midgardian medicine had thrown his control off balance, just not as much as he’d let Lewis believe. He could have reverted back to his proper state a half hour ago, and gone back to his bed for a proper rest. 

Instead he couldn’t resist seeing what the woman would do when faced with the full transformation. He’d been somewhat hoping she would startle or scream and flee, calling for Thor’s protection. Instead she’d looked at him like he was the most beautiful animal in existence. It was a delicious boost to his ego.

Loki chuckled to himself, picturing her face when she might learn that her ‘petting’ along his fur had translated to the feeling of a lover’s touch on his skin. 

There would be sputtering, possibly some shrieking and all the threats and profanities. 

The image was so entertaining he drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face. 

[ririsasy]

Sit on my lap [part 3] 🔞✋⚠️

Part 2

on AO3

Varadha was sleeping peacefully on his bed when the incessant ringing of his door bell making him groan in frustration and went as far as putting a pillow over his head so he could block the noise but whoever at his door didn't know the concept of giving up so eventually It's Varadha who have to raise a white flag and dragged his feet out of his bed with sleepy eyes.

He checked through the screen beside his door and rolled his eyes at Rinda at the door who was ready to push the bell button once again if Varadha didn't open the door for him right away.

"Gosh, can you let a man sleep in peace?" Varadha grunted after he open the door and Rinda immediately letting himself in, there's a giddiness in his expression that made Varadha uneasy.

"Varadha you have been sleeping all day???? Look at the clock! It's almost noon, dude! What the hell you were doing at Deva's place last night till you sleep like a log! I have been ringing your bell for solid 30 minutes! I just want to check if you're still alive or anything." Rinda babbling at Varadha who couldn’t even hear half of what he was saying because he was just still so damn sleepy.

Rinda made himself at home and man spreading on the couch like he own the place, he took the snack on the table and start munching it, he turned on the tv and and pat the couch beside him so Varadha would sit right next to him because their conversation should continue whether Varadha like it or not.

“You are so damn annoyingly nosy, I don’t know why we are still friend” Varadha grunted but sit beside Rinda nonetheless.

Rinda found his favorite channel but he didn’t pay attention to the program only making it as background noises as he turned his whole body to face Varadha fully and squinted at his direction.

“Omg! Is that a big freaking hickey on your neck??” He pulled Varadha toward him on his collar and inspected the purplish red bruises with his two fingers, Varadha winced from the pressure and tugged his collar away harshly from Rinda’s grip and tried to cover the mark with his hand.

“My my Varadha, what did you really do?? Wtf you went all the way with him?” Rinda raised both his hands in front of Varadha in surrender backing out from Varadha’s space before he started hitting him.

“Oh….He is …crazy.” Varadha told Rinda while the smile forming slowly on his face that turned into a big foolish grin.

“Damn—man, was he that good? Did you tell him that you’re a virgin though? That’s what I was concerned about when you left with him last night looking that you’re ready to bone!”

“Hey! I am far from being a virgin, you know me!”

“I know!!! But ! Hear me out, girls are different than men! THAT’s your first guy? That you actually come back home with? Blowjob and handjob at the back alley are not count, Varadha.”

It frustrates Varadha that Rinda knows too many things about him, even his sex life because well he is his friend, and Varadha confided in him about every single escapade and adventure to him, himself, so it’s actually not Rinda’s fault that he became this way now because that was how Varadha had conditioned him over the years.

Now he has to taste his own medicine.

“Yes, we did it all the way, from the kitchen to the couch to his own bed in the bathtub at the dining table you name it.” Varadha exaggerated the over the place part but what he actually meant was they tried many, yes many, possible positions that Deva could think of and that man was creative as hell.

“Stop stop, you kidding me and you didn’t bother telling him that it’s your first taking dick from the back and you let him railed you all night long like that???? You nuts!”

Rinda flicked Varadha’s forehead with his fingers and Varadha ouch so hard and quickly tried to soothe the throbbing pain with his hand.

“Are you crazy? How am I gonna tell a mafia boss that this would be my first time having dick up my ass? when he already go down on me and made me lost my mind. Nah! He would laugh or worse didn’t want to continue because he might not want to go through the hassle teaching a 35 years old man how to bottom for the first time! I was ready! And didn’t want to ruin the mood, he was most part gentle though, don’t worry, look at my face now, do I look like I regret him as my first?” Varadha yet again smiled thinking about their wonderful time together.

“You love sick, I bet the dick was huge till you excuse all his actions.” Rinda rolled his eyes at Varadha’s unfaltering sheepish smile.

“You have no idea, it was humongous.” Varadha exaggerated again, well it was indeed meaty and have nice girth to it that Varadha really love, and the length are quite long too, okay, perhaps that’s indeed above average, bigger than his own at least or any men’s that he has the privilege to look at, well, yeah: humongous it is.

“You know there’s a myth that tall man sometimes have small dick but his just as big as his outer appearance?” Rinda became curious, it’s not a weird conversation between them, they often discuss everything together without any filter.

“I will not say anymore than the fact just by mentioning his name only then my legs would part by themselves.” Varadha said to Rinda who look at him like he grew a head, Varadha nodding repeatedly at him.

“Deva,” Rinda said the name slowly to play the game and Varadha quickly reacting by man spreading on the couch.

“That’s disgusting,” Rinda pretends like he was throwing up.

“You’re the one who asked in the first place!” Varadha laughed at his friend’s diva reaction.

“Okay okay I give up, now that I am sure he wasn’t being an asshole to you and didn’t traumatize you, that’s all I care about, “ Rinda suddenly being serious, looking at Varadha with warm gaze.

“He is obsessed with putting me on his lap though? Like is he into Daddy-Baby play? I don’t understand, we were eating breakfast, and he asked me to sit on his lap and feeding me with one hand and giving me a handjob with the other. But he is sweet though.” Varadha slipped out another detail while scrunching up his nose in concentration, thinking about that particularly event.

Rinda’s jaw was on the floor at the information and his eyes almost jumped out of its socket. “Nahhh hell nah I told you I don’t want to know anymore!!!” Rinda tried to block his ears with both of his hands.

“He was really really strong too, Like how the hell he hold me a 170 pounds dude with one arm–I consider myself pretty muscular okay–like I weight nothing driving himself into me while standing with the other hand jerking me off like how?”

“Varadha Rajamannar! Aaaa stop! Okay I will leave you alone you can take all the nap you want after your crazy sex with your new hot mafia daddy I bet your body need it but remember tomorrow it’s time to go back to office! Your play time is up, that’s the whole reason why your father call you here to the capital city after all, there’s a new client that want to meet you tomorrow, be sure you will there and don’t be late!” Rinda shout all the information that he should tell Varadha about his schedule with his hands still over his ears and slowly backing to the door ready to sprint away from Varadha’s apartment, he had heard enough.

“Rinda, come back! We haven't even got time discussing his long fingers and what wonderful things they could do while we order a pizza!” Varadha called from the door but he actually was laughing and waving at Rinda, served him right for wanting to know every single thing about his life, but but Rinda has his own reason, he is also hired by his father, Rajamannar, as someone to keep a close eye on Varadha so he will not forget about his duty, more like a nagging assistant sometimes than a friend, but Varadha knows that he also does all of this out of love, he wants to make sure that Varadha was alright.

And in fact, Varadha never feel more okay than this moment, there was something in the way Deva touched him last night that he never feel before in his entire life, to be so adored and wanted to that extent, it was a new experience but an exhilarating one that Varadha couldn’t wait to experience all over again, to learn more, to see what Deva will teach him next.

.

.

Varadha just figure out that he likes to be praised a lot.

[gloriousburden]

Dw about the long response!! I'm happy to read everything :) And goodness I agree on so many levels! I ended up criticizing so much I had to cut this a little short, since I often start rambling in between, but … What got to me the most were these aspects that were either treated poorly or weren’t thought of at all (You might’ve seen these already so … U don’t have to answer, again, hh ((though I am happy to hear your thoughts if you have anything to say or just thought of stuff!))):

Loki’s heritage - I … I don’t know man. I guess we don’t care he’s a frost giant. That definitely didn’t mess him up. No. Not a mention of what happened while he was exiled or when he was with Thanos. These are such big events in his life. Like, enormously big. (Also him trying to end it at the end of Thor 1... man...) It’s trauma after trauma, and in the Avengers and TDW it’s quite easy to see how they affected him too, since he is so different compared to Thor 1. And no, I don’t mean to say he was an innocent baby before ofc - you already tackled that argument on another post quite well, and I’d like to add that it’s literally how he AND Thor grew up. It’s not just Loki. Sure after the trip to Midgard Thor comes back different since he learned shit but before that?? We saw how Thor acted. They took from Odin, afterall, who participated in numerous wars - it’s obvious. They’re morally gray characters - both Loki and Thor. And what made it worse is that Thor and Odin’s wrongdoings were “justified” while the moment Loki did anything he got all types of repercussions - which all of them should’ve had really. You're putting three people together, all of them made similar mistakes but only one of them is getting yelled at. Everytime. And the other two are praised for it. Why can Thor and Odin do it and he can't? If the heroes do it it's for the greater good ... but Loki's a monster, right?

TVA and just … Sylvie and Mobius. A mess. I actually didn’t like the concept of the TVA a lot, and the whole storyline in general but I won’t get into that or else it turns too long - so I’ll just focus on these two and some of Loki’s aspects. He just … “opens up” to these guys. When he … just came from an awful background. Family trauma, him being a Jotunn (another thing they fucked up, no magic? why isn’t he blue then) and all the shit he went through with Thanos. He’s captive yet again. Like everything is just repeating - I think that’d be quite traumatic and he surely wouldn’t talk about anything with them. Also whenever he spoke about his “troubles” it just felt like it was more to explain it to the viewers rather than the characters? Like it wasn’t subtle and sometimes it just felt out of place for me. Could be that I don’t remember well, but still. What was allat. Idk how to explain, I hope you get it lol

While I won’t deny some moments with Mobius did make me grin because Owen Wilson just brings a smile to my face, it’s… Yeah, no. How is Loki already “opening up” to this guy. Why is he letting him do all of that. What’s going on. He’s one of your captors. CAPTORS. Wtf. I think you also covered this in another ask. Sorry if I'm repeating things hh

Sylvie I don’t even know how to go in that argument. I was devastated. I don’t think I have the words. Not only was everything so fast and I despised this weird toxic self-cest ship because … Wtf. Not to mention how quick it all was, they jumped to a "romantic" route after what, 1 or 2 conversations and Loki suddenly "catches feelings" for someone who's an alternate version of himself (which let's be honest it's only because they decided Sylvie was going to be a woman, but they had to mess that up too - another concept they handled HORRIBLY since Loki's gender is fluid and it shouldn't be so shocking for her to be female?? Especially to him and all Loki's variants?? Why is it even an argument!! I know I shouldn’t be surprised because it’s Disney and Marvel but fuck!! [[not even sure anymore since I read that Sylvie cannot shapeshift… Idk if it’s true, again doesn’t make any sense]]) which by itself is so illogical and makes no damn sense. Most shows just handle romance and relationships like ass and I can’t believe people actually like it. Especially since this is all … Toxic?? Not even romance. Gosh I have no words because of how messy it all was.

Also little observation, I’m a little slow and I don’t know if someone mentioned this already but right at the beginning of the series the introduction is almost symbolic in a sense, lol. He’s shown with shorter and different hair compared to the Avengers, which might seem little, don't get me wrong, but … still. Maybe I’m picky with details, however it is already a change. Then, some moments later, he’s shed of his Asgardian fit too and placed in a variant uniform. Again, obvious things. But really, they decided to just. Pick his character and make … a complete new one. It’s like making an OC after putting so many headcanons on a character that it’s not even THAT character anymore, it’s just… An OC. Definitely not voluntary, it just something I noticed lol

And clearly they show it later in the episode that it’s exactly what happens. He’s just mocked continuously, which is one thing that irked me a lot like you, because it kept going and going, it wasn’t just a moment, no, they kept going with that. What's the point of the series?? Where's the development?? None of these characters grew. None.

There’s probably more but … I don’t wanna write no more lol. I’m probably gonna start reading the comics too. They seem far more promising.

Thanks for listening again!! :D Hope you're doing well btw!!

No exactly. Loki’s heritage, a FUNDAMENTAL ASPECT OF HIS CHARACTER, has not ever been spoken about again unless it was to mock him. I wasn’t expecting them to full on show his Jotun form or anything of that sort, but you know what, maybe I expected them to talk about it in a non humorous manner for a second or two. Considering the fact it plays a HUGE part in who Loki is. Him only being a political pawn to Odin, instead of being a son to him as he thought, is why he is the way he is. You cannot excuse or undermine that. It is just as (if not more) important as “Ohhhh Loki’s jealous of Thor..” because it is literally the source. It’s the explanation.

There is a reason he was raised with inadequate care, and it wasn’t just because Thor was stronger physically or because he fit the image of the Asgardian ideal more than Loki did.

Loki was never meant to be loved, period. It wasn’t because of his mischievous nature. It wasn’t because of him gravitating towards magic and sharp weapons rather than brute strength. It was because when he was a baby on Jotunheim, he was taken in as a future pawn, instead of as a son to be loved despite any differences or despite how he grows up.

Getting to what you said about Thor and Odin being able to be heroes, while Loki is a villain no matter what he does… it is because Loki is only there to move the plot forward. Even if he does something reasonable, or something that could even be seen as heroic, it does not matter because he is not worthy of being seen as a hero. He’s only there to be a rival to Thor. In Odin’s eyes, he cannot be loved or praised, because the image of worthiness was always far from Loki’s own image.

The series was never meant to be about Loki. It was meant to pave the way for the Multiverse saga(?) and to introduce the next big enemy (Kang the Conqueror) but we all know how that went. You can drive yourself crazy with MANY questions like… oh, how did they forget this? How did they disregard that? Because Marvel just needed a pre-existing character to fuck up, get captured by the TVA, and everything else that happens. It’s not Loki specific, because why would Marvel ever do anything good for not only Loki but Tom Hiddleston who’s put so much care and love into playing Loki?

Why would they talk about Loki’s encounter with Thanos, the events of Avengers, the events of Thor? This is supposed to be Loki STRAIGHT OUT OF THE AVENGERS, and they didn’t talk about it besides insulting him. We didn’t get any POV from Loki. Nothing. If we didn’t get a Loki’s POV on the events he’s just gone through, why would it do him any kind of justice? WHY WOULD THEY TALK ABOUT HIS HERITAGE?

The only way the series could work, is for Loki to be dumbed the fuck down and at a disadvantage. Even if he is without his abilities/weapons, Loki is VERY intelligent. If this was ACTUALLY Loki, his ass would’ve manipulated his way out of there with EASE. Marvel has always downplayed how intelligent Loki is, of course they’d do it in a series that is supposed to uplift him. It’s only Loki that gets dumbed down in his own series.

The no magic at the TVA thing… I don’t even know man. I’m going to assume the contradiction is due to the writers forgetting/disregarding anything that’s relevant to Loki’s character once again as well as them not being able to CGI Tom Hiddleston blue for however many hours the series runs for. They could’ve at least gave some kind of bullshit excuse for it. I’ve seen some theorize that Odin’s spell was just that powerful, or that it changed Loki biologically permanently or something. I don’t really remember please forgive me lol there’s posts made by others on here with more information if you are interested. I just think of it as them not caring about Loki once again.

Please do not apologize! The reason I make posts is so I can further discuss my points with others. I love hearing from everyone, and I really appreciate this ask! Forgive me for not getting to it sooner. I’ve been busy, and also wanted to make sure all of this made sense before posting. If you want to discuss anything that I’ve previously spoken of, I genuinely would love to and would appreciate it. I’m glad that people actually listen to what I have to say lol

They had to speed run the development of every relationship in order for the plot to work out, so that’s why Loki, known for not trusting others as well as being known as someone who shouldn’t be trusted, was opening up to a complete stranger (WHO WORKS FOR AN AUTHORITY) who was holding him captive, and insulting him every chance he got.

Also the “I’ve studied every aspect of your life” thing about Mobius is so weird to me??? You did that, but do not understand Loki at all and insult him??? Asshole. I hate that guy.

The concept of the series is SO fucking stupid in the first place. Not sure if you know this, but a good chunk of the plot is a screenplay/scrapped project Michael Waldron wrote a while back. Once again, Loki was never the focus of any of this. It was not written with him in mind. He needed a strong female lead, and a “male” lead to project his own plot onto basically. They just recycled it.

“The worst guy of all time and the girl who came to kill him” [Link]

It is so fucking bad, and it makes so much sense.

Sylvie… she’s definitely a character! Like she’s played by an actress, has lines, and stuff…

There is so much to be said about her. Waldron is HORRIBLE at writing women (as you can tell by the horrendous screenplay I’ve linked) and the entire concept of her character is dumb as fuck. I believe I’ve said this before, but she’s like three pre-existing characters mashed into one to keep her unique/distinctive from Loki, YET SHE BRINGS NOTHING INTERESTING TO THE SERIES AT ALL!!! HOW ARE YOU THREE CHARACTERS, BUT SO BORING??? Can Sylvie really not shapeshift? I didn’t know that. She’s literally… a Loki. That makes no fucking sense not only because of Loki in the MCU/comics, but also because of Norse Mythology Loki. The literal origins.

About Loki’s gender/sex being fluid… they never cared about that which is why Loki (and the other variants) were so fucking baffled that Sylvie was female. Not going to lie, It kind of felt misogynistic to me. A variant of Loki being in a female form could’ve been really cool, but the MCU has to fuck up anything related to female characters.

The romance… 😃

Man, the motive behind it is so fucking stupid too. Self love, because Loki has always loved himself guys. He’s so narcissistic!!! Of course he would fall in love with a female variant of himself. Because he’s so self obsessed.

Loki, ONCE AGAIN, a character known for not trusting others, would SOOOOO fall in love with someone he just met. He’s been lied to numerous times in his life by people he loved and trusted, but it’s very logical for him to fall in love with someone who’s done nothing but belittle him for a few interactions.

He had more chemistry with that book he was reading in his cell in TDW then he did with Sylvie. (or Mobius for that matter.)

Omg yessss I ship them so hard!! That’s what they sound like. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I think that “toxic” relationships can SOMETIMES be written decently in fiction, but this… 😁

Sylvie just constantly belittles Loki, and he doesn’t even belittle or mock her back! It could’ve been playful and not one sided, but if Loki dared to belittle Sylvie the way she did to him, her entire character would make no sense and every flaw would have to be given a second thought. Something the writers would never do.

They didn’t point out each other’s flaws, it was only Sylvie pointing out Loki’s. Same thing with every other character interaction Loki had in the series. It was all about “humbling” him, and no one else. AND THE SERIES IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT HIM!

I personally do not like romance in fiction in general, but GOODNESS is the MCU exceptionally horrible at handling it.

(Changed color of the ss because it was blending in with my own text lol)

No, this… this is spot on.

I’ve always thought of this as well. It put such a bad taste in my mouth. But, at least they were honest about how the series was going to go from the beginning. The first thing they do is strip him (literally) of who he is in every way possible. His personality, his armor, and his hair isn’t even the same. No because Loki really is just a base character for their shitty story. How anyone who claims to like Loki cannot see the symbolism you mentioned, as well as him NOT BEING LIKE HIMSELF WHATSOEVER, I don’t know… it was the first thing I noticed, and when I watched the series, I had probably only watched the movies featuring him a few times. That’s how stark the difference was to me.

ALSO THIS?????

EXACTLY! IT FELT LIKE IT WAS MORE TO EXPLAIN IT TO THE VIEWERS RATHER THAN THE CHARACTERS!!!!!! That is an amazing point, and I’ve been trying to put that into words. Everything is just so fucking disconnected and unnatural feeling. The interactions are so fake. HORRENDOUS WRITING. I didn’t know it could get this bad.

Once again, so sorry for not getting to this sooner. Thank you so much for the ask, and I appreciate your thoughts! You made a lot of good points, and you don’t need to apologize for anything. Feel more than welcome to send asks any time you’d like! ❤️

[yannaryartside]

The table scene: I will hold the world for you

Promises and friends with insecurities

This scene was the culmination of their arcs in this season; their arcs, in some senses, had nothing to do with each other but everything about wanting each other and figuring out how this partnership was essential to each other. Another long one.

Under the table is their relationship, trying not to collapse under the burden of the table, the world, and their trauma. 

Sydney had started the season wanting to be a partner to Carmy and finding a partner with him; he was, for her, a vehicle/support to tackle the big wolf of her insecurities, thinking her failures were her own fault, her burden. She was tired of feeling alone and not enough to walk the path of hurt, trials, and disappointments that her life has been. Carmy was also tired of feeling alone, of feeling unlovable. He saw a way to heal that in Claire and took it. In the process, he disappointed Sydney in his lack of commitment to the restaurant (and her); both were jet to decipher the true feelings they hold for each other, a truth that was to be set in the background, simmer and simmer, and then explode.

The explosion for Sydney occurs inside; she realizes little by little how much Carmy reveals to Claire. The explosion for Carmy went the inside out, the panic attack scene showing him what he had suspected all along. He was forced to confront the fact that his bond with Claire, even if he had feelings for her, was not enough to push away his fears and trauma (this was not a secure attachment; it was never based on two people actually knowing each other, or healthily supporting each other). I LOVE Carmy's face in this scene btw; he is so happy to see her in his mind; the fucker is like, "Oh, there you are; wtf can you do this to me? But thank god you do"

Sydney experienced Carmy pushing her away more and more as the season advanced, all while Carmy grew in discomfort with his "relationship" with Claire. Carmy and Syd tried their ways to make the situation more bearable. Sydney tried to communicate her needs for support in this scary process of creating a restaurant (trying to ignore her feelings); Carmy, being a clautrofuck of emotions for getting what he wanted for so long, to still feeling shit about it, was terrified of losing Sydney and tried to create a menu "for her" instead of "with her." But they never reached each other truthfully, even after this point, because they were so afraid to lose that glimpse of security they provided each other that they never went to the core of their fears. (they abused the "I am sorry" sign, made assumptions, and held to reservations and resentment).

They are walking on shifting sands, uneven terrytiory=uneven table.

AND THEN, THE TABLE SCENE

The blocking of this scene is phenomenal. They changed positions when they were changing about subjects in the conversation. All while they are trying to fix an uneven table. It is uneven because neither of them knows where they truly stand as partners, and yet, the scene manages not to be about partnership, but about relasionship, and frienship.

In the beginning, when Carmy shares his "burden" for this season: his relationship with Claire, the fact that she is excellent, but he cannot separate his trauma from her, not knowing what even a secure attachment is. Carmy is lying on the ground, his being exposed and vulnerable, resting. Sydney is holding the table when he explains all this to her while he is fixing "his side" of the table, his trauma, and his mistakes that had damaged their harmony. He acknowledges it and promises his entire focus from now on. Sydney also takes a moment to recognize that whatever Carmy has with Claire is something that he needs at some level, regardless of how that makes her feel (helathy or not, she sees that at some level, he wants it). She is holding the other side of the table. She is preventing it from collapsing on him, like he is giving him a space to feel his feelings, regardless of the pressure they both endure, as she has done with her actions all season. 

This is not about why she is carrying the restaurant herself, and neither is a way to imply she had to do it in order to be a good friend, of course not, but that is not what this scene is about. I think the conclusion of service in Service in Friends and Family is a more appropriate conclusion for Carmy's absence, and a better "punishment" even if she has yet not expressed how abandoned she felt by him, and all the ways he failed her, and let his trauma handle his time and his partnership with Sydney like shit. They may not be ready to be able to talk about that, nor do they know how to fix it. The service scene served for him to understand how badly he was not around. Decorated with the fact Sydney was able to guide the kitchen relying on others, being the true leader the restaurant needed.

The table scene, for me, is not about resolving any of that, it is about promises. Promises to find answers and realizing what they provide for each other.

The table scene is about two friends talking about their insecurities.

She holds the table while he confesses something he has never said out loud to anybody. Sydney is providing Carmy in this scene something he has never had: "a person to trust, to understand and to understand him, a person to know everything about, a best friend," anybody that he tried to form this with has hurt him at some point, Mickey being the most painful example, whatever he has wit Nat, or even Richie, doesn't come close by miles, he still carries reservations around them. He seems to have tried to establish that with Claire, surprised at how empty it left him anyway.

But when Carmy says "say more," asking her to change positions, now she is the one underneath, fixing her side of the table, laying on the ground, vulnerable, while he holds the other side. She lays down her fears of her past failures collapsing on her all at once, all the reasons she has always suspected she is not good enough for this, and he is the one reassuring her, holding the other side of the table, preventing the world (the pressure/trauma) from collapsing on her, giving her a space to confess without judgment. He gives her exactly what she needs; not only is she good enough for this, but not only does he know the desire to help people that drives her, but if fear creeps in, whatever obstacle or failure they face, he will hold her, and "they" will work on it. All this, all the things he gets from her too, he sees her, understands her, believes in her, and promises to be there for her, a best friend.

If anything, regardless of the context of what they need to do this in the first place, particularly on Carmy's part, even if is only promises for the momment, the table scene is a beautiful description of a partnership: you are not on uneven territory anymore; I will be the ground you walk on, I will build you up, I will give you a space to feel your feellings.

I couldn't do this without you I wouldn't even wanna do it without you You make me better at this I wound't let you (fail)

The harmony is restored, the ground of trust is settled, the table (the world/the trauma) is not collapsing on anybody, they both are compromised on a goal: supporting each other, whatever that leads them. Whatever that will mean in the future, finding new boundaries, ways to complement and help each other, maturing emotionally. These feelings? I don't know how to deal with them, but I will stand beside you.

Most importantly, they both realized that this security they give each other...they want it; they only had an idea of what their partnership could be at the beginning of the season, and now it has been revealed to them, just a taste, enough to get their hearts...wanting for more. 

You are not alone

[izzysillyhandsy]

Prince Ricky and Izzy Hands - WTF actually happened there and why?

Yesterday I was rewatching the finale with my first-time-OFMD friend, and she was absolutely baffled by Ricky shooting Izzy with his own gun.

In her words: "Nobody took it off him, that's not realistic! That's impossible, totally impossible, I can't buy that, you don't just forget a gun on a prisoner?!?!?!?"

And on my first watch I thought the same thing (as we all did), and then forgot about it a bit, but now I want to speculate. Because WHY did that happen?

The easiest explanation is, of course: Ricky needed a gun and it doesn't really matter where it came from. The writers didn't think it was important and neither should we.

But I'd like to expect a bit more from this show - I remember that I was taken out of my immersion quite a bit by this obvious "mistake". Ricky is a hostage who was just about to kill every single pirate we know - and nobody notices he's armed? And he's led through the enemy lines by Izzy with only a small knife to his back?

If Ricky still has his gun, that means that they took his sword but noone thought of searching him properly (and to really rub it in, Ricky is shown cleaning his gun in an earlier scene). The gun also seems very accessible later, so it probably wasn't even hidden well.

So why didn't the writers have Ricky take Izzy's (or Black Pete's) gun? I know Izzy almost never carries a gun (which is interesting in itself), but they were all in Navy uniforms anyway. Why not take the weapons too? Or have Ricky stab Izzy with a hidden knife (in a way that the other characters won't notice, like with the gunshot, presumably)?

Or was the whole thing actually deliberate? In a "it doesn't really matter if you take it at face value, but if you look closer there might be another explanation" kinda way?

(that was a really long introduction to what I'm actually here for, I'm sorry)

Who actually searched Ricky and took his sword? Was it the same person who stayed next to Ricky during the cool dressing up montage? Who led Ricky through the woods?

(Hint: it's the guy who's always in the background when these 2 are kissing)

Of course we have no proof that Izzy searched Ricky, but I think it is very probable.

Izzy had just been talking to Ricky. He'd been sitting next to Ricky when he was knocked out.

Izzy had just deeply insulted and provoked Ricky and made himself the spokesperson of piracy - "It's about letting go of ego for something larger." - "Kill me. Kill us all. Our spirit will last throughout your entire fuckin' empire." - thereby almost goading Ricky into killing him.

And then Stede presents his nebulous plan we never actually hear, and Izzy (why Izzy?) is put in the most dangerous position, right at the frontlines leading the hostage. Did he volunteer for that?

And are we really expected to believe that Izzy wouldn't double-check that Ricky was unarmed?

I really don't like where this is leading, by the way. Because the explanation that makes most sense from a Watsonian perspective is that Izzy either didn't mind or actively wanted to be killed/wounded.

The show went out of its way to portray Izzy as older, wiser and more resigned in the last 2 episodes - he looked like he'd aged 10 years in a few days, he moved around slower and seemed to be in more pain (and groaning when sitting down, etc.). Also, he seemed to have made peace with everything and everyone, and he seemed... tired.

(I know he's just been shot here, but he just looks exhausted)

I think there might be a possibility that Izzy let Ricky keep his gun because he did want to go. Stede's "It's only suicide if we die!" sounds almost to fitting in this context. Izzy might have thought that the one conversation Ed needed, the one where Izzy could set Ed free, could only happen on his deathbed (as I said elswhere, Iz and Ed are closest in life-and-death situations).

Or (and this is what I choose to believe until S3 comes around), Izzy took Ricky's pistol while he was unconcious, took the bullet out and faked his death to set Ed and himself free. He very pointedly doesn't want Ed to see his wound, after all (Ed: "It's not even that bad!"). If it's only about the deathbed absolution, and removing himself (and the spectre of Blackbeard) from the situation, Izzy doesn't actually have to die, does he?

This also fits with the song played over the end sequence, panning to Izzy's grave:

And don't speak too soon For the wheel's still in spin And there's no tellin' who that will be namin' For the loser now Will be later to win For the times they are a-changin'

Yeah. A bit too conspiracy-theory-like maybe. But it was the first assumption my friend made - 5 seconds after the scene: "The gun can't have been there by accident, that's just stupid. Oh no. Did Izzy arrange that? Did he really want to die for Ed?" and I thought - you know what? That was my first thought as well. I just immediately dismissed it for being too dramatic.

So, either Izzy is the most reckless, stupid and negligent pirate ever (which he obviously isn't, quite the opposite) - or he trusted the person who (badly) searched Ricky (oooh, new conspiracy theory - it was Ed! Sorry.) - or there was something else at play.

OR

...maybe it was just lazy writing after all.

[hexavo]

A few days ago was my first anniversary on Tumblr. I usually check this app to cheer me up with random drawings about Sonic the hedgehog, and I will be forever thankful to y'all artists for giving me the happiness I've sometimes needed to continue.

To celebrate this "milestone" I've decided to give you a very little introduction to my drawing history, and finally upload some of my artwork yippee.

I started drawing less than a year ago. Before that, I was scared of even trying to draw something. I thought I was bad at it, and I was born like that. Long story short, a very close friend, @naoknowswhat (Who is also the one who introduced me to Tumblr) forced (😱) me to draw something on a random wall under a highway, so of course I drew Sonic.

After finishing it, I thought it didn't really look that bad, so that very night instead of sleeping I tried to draw something on my phone. I basically took a screenie from the Sonic Mania Aventures series and tried to copy it, although I also tried to add something original, like the background. And it came out... actually looking pretty good

I mean, "pretty good" assuming it was my first ever drawing lmao. And the most important part, I enjoyed every bit of it. It was relaxing and fun at the same time, I loved it. It was also pretty weird going from thinking "I draw like a 5 yr old" to "Holly shit I actually enjoy this" in like 12 hours.

Some days later I tried to draw Tails, and omg I love it but I just couldn't get the motivation to finish it.

It was SO WEIRD actually finding a drawing of mine "cute"? wtf. What isn't cute is that according to Ibis Paint I spent 14 hours on this. I especially remember struggling with the shoes so god damn much.

Then I just stopped drawing until summer ended and I had to return to high school. I've always had problems concentrating in class, so the same friend recommended that I should draw in class. At first I found that so unbelievably weird, but then I tried it, and andbwjksns. I just loved it. And somehow it allowed me to concentrate better? There is no way. It felt like magic. I'll show you some drawings abajabvsn

I've also been practicing for a long time to draw without references. And although it's super duper hard, I'm slowly getting better at it. I drew this on my classroom table a few months back and I still feel proud shut the fuck up

So yeah I feel like that was everything. From this experience I've learned that your only obstacle is your self-esteem (and your monthly income). Alr have a good night ☺️ and long life to my son Silver the hedgehog. Such a cutie.

[ad-hawkeye]

LARS ROUTE WAS SO GOOD HELLO? ik recommended order is to do ayn’s before his but i could not wait and it paid off because his lore was actually insane

RIGHT?? IT TOOK ME BY SURPRISE. GRABBED ME BY THE THROAT AND THREW ME ACROSS THE ROOM.

incoming spoilers because i gotta talk about it.

literally all of it was so good. wtf. proper romantic build up. lars' character growth from a coward who runs, to a brave man who stays. the perfect amount of humor, the perfect amount of drama. lars' ocean motif coming in FULL play this time around.

i really liked the over arcing ideas too. the "three questions" bit. lars finally getting to see a real amusement park in mc's memories.

also speaking of spoilers, YEA??? can we just?? talk about that lore????? the reveal that lars was also dragged to eden from another world, just like the mc. LIKE DOES THIS MEAN there was an original eden lars?? also the tie in with his "bad" memories being blocked out by alkaid, just like what happens to mc in all of her bad eden endings. like. his background with alkaid, and how even alkaid (who very notably Does like mc) is like wow. shit. you two. okay yeah im not even mad this is just straight up fate or something.

ALSO LIKE IDK?? something about lars' personality just fit so perfectly with the setting, even more so than usual.

also glad to see we're following the trend of au lars always having his family killed off by one of the other boys, either on purpose or accidentally. hope this keeps up somehow if only because i need to see how long this goes on for

[moononmyfloor]

Snowy Night: Timeless Love Ep 1-2 First Impression

(Contains spoilers, obviously. And I might rant, consider yourself warned)

Ep 1

I like the opening theme instrumental, very soft and soothing

Miss Li Qin you really like that shoulder hunch thing don't you? It gives you 👻 vibes, it doesn't help you are actually literally dressed like a ghost

Even though I was having a complaint right away the following aesthetics are nice.

Oh wow a (literally) fridged character! Cdramaland this year really loves their fridging!

I'm afraid what's with the snow setup of this show and the complimentary heavy cloaks, Li Qin is gonna do a LOT of ghosting (literal)

Xiao Xi is here and once again serving my favorite "light has left his eyes" look as always! I hope he gets a lot of betrayal and mortal injury and torture and piggyback and pregnant scenes once again! 😌

Not the biggest fan of the side character costumes

Ayo is he finally losing the baby fat in his cheeks 🥺

No point, he's the one who still gets the most kid treatment in the show🤣Baby fat or not

Um I was looking forward to this show for a long time because it seemed like a huge portion of photography took place in complete snowland but looks like that exact thing turned out to be its weakness. The CGI is awkward. You can see exactly which scenes took place within a greenscreen set because the background blending is not done seamlessly enough. All the money has gone to keeping the cast and crew warm in the snow scenes from the looks of it 🥲

BUT it's not all unenjoyable! Look, the FL is having an all-girls harem! 😍

Damn girls. aren't you difficult to satisfy…. can't let her rest even one night? 🤭

Ohh look fresh meat arrived on her doorstep 🤭

Oh yeah? 😏

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Brother really nearly offered his virginity in exchange for her help

The harem is like "Jiejie do we kiss/fuck/kill him"

At first I thought this was her wall of Girl-of-the-Night's name tags, too bad it's just a collection of lifesaving coupons lol

Ep 1 conclusion is that even though it fell a bit behind my expectations but it isnt bad, has potential if they want to work on it After all it took CQL 10 eps to get on the tracks!

Ep 2

Those are the longest ass nails I've seen on a doctor

Titanic much?

Yeah ok the costumes aren't costuming in this show except for the fur coat game. Please keep all of them covered in cloaks all the time I beg you

I mean at this point it's not just an aesthetic need but a practical one too because this drama's second name is frostbite.

So he walks all over her property even after being warned to not to AND offer her unsolicited advice about being safe in the woods alone as a girl. Dude she's been LIVING here, WHILE keeping a bunch of other girls safe too. Know your limits.

Why are they getting thrown into unnecessary forced sugar moments, please work on establishing your characters first so the audience can care for them before trying to create chemistry out of nothing, show.

Doctor lady wasn't transparent about the procedure she was going to conduct on the kid, and blames it on the kids' guardians that it was to prevent the guardians' emotions besting them. Like??? Sure they broke your rules but you aren't also completely at the right here, you told them nothing because you were overconfident and haughty is what. "Short time hurt is better than Long time hurt" wtf

And of COURSE they end up dual cultivating under a lake. It's like this show is in such a rush to simply check off all the hot tropes in their list one after the other, with little substance to back them up.

Ep 2 conclusion is that I hadn't facepalmed nonstop in a single episode this much in a long time, I guess this show is not for me. I mean if it's not serving neither a good plot nor solid characters and not even the hyped and promised aesthetics then what am I here for? Sorry, Zeng Shunxi. I've loved almost EVERYTHING you've been in but looks like this one is an exception .

[cladestruction]

PART I of my super long aotd thoughts (and prayers) commentary/analysis extravanganza🤪

warning: spoilers. repetition of words/expressions hehe. badly written (english is not my first language lol). looong text. biased opinions because this is my blog and i get to do with it as i please.

Press conference and failed plan: i love how there’s practically no time jump in the beginning, i find it both dynamic and realistic. as the world’s most famous band/people, they’re always right at the center of attention, even more after such major events like the ones in dsr, so the press conference is great: is sudden and painful to watch, it’s awkward as the boys try to answer the clearly triggering questions in their usual laid-back, disinterested manner, and barely succeed in doing so. also, this scene establishes three elements that i’m so grateful for: 1. Toki is safe with them again but still visibly fucked up, 2. the boys Don’t Remember what happened after they found Toki (the dethlights and stuff), 3. Nathan is the exception, he remembers but doesn’t quite understand wtf happened, and it haunts him. i love how Magnus is talked about in this movie and this scene, the public and the press don’t have much information about him and the band (i guess?) so calling it a tragedy is practically the easiest way to label it, but the reality is waaay deeper, and the fact that this comes back later on? i love it. i also like that the band’s plan announcement shows exactly what i wanted personally: how much Charles' guidance is missing. the boys are erratic and messy, and considering their actual behavior throughout the show it’s actually very rational for stars like them to want to jump right into action. bc it’s their job, their passion, and there’s pressure on them to do something: either talk about what happened, acknowledge their trauma and heal, or get to work and give people music so they can shut up and stop asking questions the boys are not prepared to answer. the tour fails before it begins and it’s great. the fact that Nathan only gets exhausted right after announcing they were back and ready to kick ass adds so much weight and drama, i love it. here we get a beautiful, stunning, amazing sequence with great voiceover and visuals. 10/10 i love the black/white/red sequence with Nathan’s silhouette falling and falling and a bunch of menacing shadows haunting him while the deththeme plays on the background. Masterpiece me thinks.

Crozier: the voiceover is AMAZING (i always loved his voice tbh). Crozier was kind of an annoying character to me throughout the series. he’s the typical american military authority and i’m not a fan, but i have to say i was very excited to see him get more depth in just one scene! i couldn’t help but feel for the guy as he failed to deliver what could’ve been his last words. it feels desolating to see him once again be left in the hands of these mysterious and shady people who are constantly preying on him. this sequence also gives much insight to the Tribunal, which is great to make the audience feel more on edge with their plan and see Salacia as a threat. the song of salvation is mentioned, the metalocalypse, Charles and the Army of the Doomstar. it’s great exposition without taking too much screen time. big fan of scenes like that.

The Church: what can i say, i love the (found) family dynamic. it’s always been there on the show, but this movie really took it to a whole new level and i’m living for it. Ishnifus’ funeral is a great detail. my man did nothing wrong in his short appearance on the finale of the show+dsr, and as a high priest, it feels only right to remember him and pay respects even if it’s for such a short scene. moving on, Toki with headphones is so important to me. he seems a bit recovered but it’s obvious something changed in the band’s behavior toward him. it seems it’s already normal for them to look out for the youngest and tend to him without as many reservations as they once would’ve shown, at least Pickles looks very used to it, even if it’s also clearly a lot of responsibility and he most likely has to deal with by himself (Murderface doesn’t really help and Skwisgaar is very cold and kept to himself. even if he complies with Pickles’ orders, he seems painfully closed off, and Nathan might actually be of help when present, considering Toki wanting to go to the bathroom with him and hinting that this is something they do now. but Nathan is not very present so yup, that’s that). moving on, Charles is…different. he was always calculated and cold but i kinda feel bad for Pickles (and Nathan later on) when they talk to him. Charles uses very mystical(?) language now and talks to the boys in a mysterious and ominous tone, it feels very impersonal, but it’s so good story-wise that i just can’t complain. Pickles’ reaction to Charles telling him that his role in saving the world is just: to be a friend to Nathan is AMAZING. Pickles is clearly nervous and expectant (it’s the end of the world, after all) but then he just asks “that’s all?” and it’s literally the BEST thing he could’ve said. he already IS a friend to Nathan, he has been so for years, even when things had already gotten ugly, so what more should he do? is it not enough? would he even be able to be such a good friend to Nathan if the frontman is being so closed off? the honesty in Pickles’ doubt is great and i love him so so much. moving on, that Edgar exchange with a very dozed-up Nathan almost made me cry. Edgar’s face when Nathan brushes him off is ugh, my heart hurt so so bad for him :( i’m sooo happy this wasn’t his last appearance and final interaction with Nathan. moving on, Nathan and Charles speak and it’s pure exposition, but i like it bc, again, is made clear and dynamic. i reiterate my point about Charles being too ominous-y (?) in his way of talking, making an already exhausted Nathan even more tired and overwhelmed. it feels even a bit out of touch and cruel of Charles to do this but, again, it fits just perfectly in the narrative so i like it.

The fucking PROPOSAL!!!: oh god, ok. i love Abigail, believe me. i remember being so desperate to see a female character appear on the show for more than 1 episode and not be killed off immediately that i screamed when Abigail came around. seeing her again in this movie, alive and well and receiving help really augmented my lifespan. that said, i am happy this is The Abigail Scene of the movie. she’s shown strong, confident, and most importantly, wise. she couldn’t say yes to Nathan, that’d be absurd, but she declined very elegantly. and though Nathan was already going through a lot, she was clear, direct and honest, while expressing respect towards him as a man and towards his feelings for her (though confused and not very well-founded, were honest). she wasn’t cruel but she also didn’t sugarcoat the stuff that Nathan Needed to hear. especially considering how he was acting, how uncharacteristic and weird he was behaving. and no, i won’t say “oh Nathan Explosion would NEVER get on his knees and beg” bc we all know that’s not true lol, but it was very erratic behavior, desperate and needy for all the wrong reasons, and please let’s again remember how much xanax/red wine/coffee this man had on his system !!! and oh, don’t even get me started on how important it was for Abigail to clear up how her kissing Nathan at the end of dsr was an act of shock and thrill of what they just went through. they barely knew each other but Nathan still went and saved her, and while Nathan was just out of all the fucked up shit that happened in dsr‘s last act, she kissed him. they almost dies, and in such extreme conditions they did what they did and that’s ok. but to think there would be more after that was, well, kind of an illusion. and that’s sad but true. in summary, Abigail is a queen and i love her with my whole heart and lungs. if you ask me, i’d love to have seen her more and i actually think her and Nathan could’ve worked out if things were different, or maybe they could be great friends. but for the short scene she got, i think she was great. Nathan breaking up with the fans right after is such a good scene too. he’s lashing out and it makes perfect sense for him to do so. and tbh i will go and say it: he wasn’t wrong in what he said. yes the fans are always there to support the band (i’ll talk more about this in the ending) but they also are constantly setting expectations. the fact that they’ll go and celebrate 99.5% of whatever the band does, the constant fear of losing them is still there, and for Nathan it’s infuriating bc it might get difficult for him to believe that these people will love everything he does, especially bc he, in this moment of his life, doesn’t feel loved.

last part of the church scene: Rockzo. i’m glad his scene was short, i dislike him and don’t enjoy him at all, but i will admit that after witnessing such a painful heartbreak/horrendous proposal, hearing Rockzo start singing Amazing Grace made me laugh very hard. great comedic timing, i liked it.

Dethklok tries to cheer up Nathan: i talked about this before, when they released the teaser clip and all. when i saw that with no context i did feel like Pickles was acting especially concerned toward Nathan here, and he even sounded a bit needy. now that i know it’s because of what Charles told him, it makes so much sense. he feels almost obliged to support and even comfort Nathan in ways that he hadn’t done before, but of course it is! the world is at stake! he is trying his best and he even goes against what he thinks, shown by how he actually doesn't appreciate Nathan treating them like crap and calling them “fuckbags” and “jackshit”. i love how those little details build up tension between them.

[studentbyday]

hello, i drafted an aesthetic studyblr post for today, but didn't feel like posting it bc today is an ugly rant kind of day. (more kermits under the cut)

AAAAHHHHHH STUPID FREAKING WINDOWS- 😩😫😭🤬🤬🤬 so i was working on my laptop for these past few days which uses a different ms office version from the computer i switched to today and all my work was LOST!! 😭😭 all the notes i took on OneNote (at least it was just the psyc notes i had done on the laptop - idk what i would do if biochem or mol bio notes were lost. i'd probably cry for real) and all the work i did on that biochem paper? GONE!! my brother uses LibreOffice so i finally switched to that (altho their UI isn't that nice). at this point, i might as well switch to linux (unless that would cause unforeseen problems if i still sometimes do work on windows? idk) 😅 any recs for free notes apps that have a small learning curve and are OneNote-like?

the STRANGEST part is, some of the notes and lost files came back as i was working?? i didn't do anything and i *swear* i wasn't seeing things, so like, WTF??? not that i'm complaining. i hope the entire week of psyc notes i lost comes back. if not, i'll probs rewrite them if i have time. i hope i have time. i really hate this.

also, good thing i didn't like the way i wrote the biochem paper so far. i rewrote the thing in a google doc instead just to be safe and i like the way it flows much better now. AND!!! it's super annoying that i had to do this, but my handwritten notes on the main article i'm basing my paper on were confusing me. like, in terms of the flow of the biochemistry. so i basically rewrote those notes, doing this huge web in paint and idk if i could've done that on the first read instead of the way i did it. i hate feeling like i've done double work.

after rewriting the paper (i'm not even done yet - there are several things i wanna add yet and some facts i wanna clarify) and my notes on the article for said paper, i was exhausted. i tried to switch gears by reading the instructions/background for the biochem discussion post due tmr (that i was supposed to write today 😒) but i don't get it. it's like i didn't cover lipoproteins at all! i don't remember anything! what am i here* for if i can't remember anything?!

update: i answered 1 question for the discussion post. i still have to answer 1 more but i need to finish reading the background info first.

ALSO! i was supposed to study for 6+ hours today. i have no idea how long i actually studied bc i kept stopping and starting the study with me video and i worked through the breaks anyway, so the dinging timers were just annoying.

*"here" as in at uni, studying, although if in the right mood, it could also expand to my entire existence 🙂 (luckily i'm too angry rn to feel philosophical 😒)

okay, let's try not to end so sour. good things that happened today:

physio exercises ✅

skincare ✅ (i have added lip balm to the list asides from lotion bc the chapped state hurts 🙁)

mol bio quiz ✅

journal ✅

tomorrow will be better. and if it doesn't start out right, imma fight it until it is and i won't be defeated 😠

[thegamingcatmom]

Anon making way through resi8 for miri

Heisenbergs factory looked cool as heck in a creepy dystopian kind of way, like the background design is just so cool

Watched the whole heisenberg showdown and still can't believe Ethan got that...tank not tank? vehicle

Miri showed up and just ripped his heart out wtf? And then she just crushed his heart and sprinkled it over herself like...what???(birb mama just looked extra insane) also her just summoning birbs in front of her???

Also like that can't just be it for Ethan right? He can't be dead??? He...he gotta go save rose!

Now I'm in chris? Pov? Watching what happening next

Yeah, Heisenberg's place is just so grotesque and eerie. Especially when Sturm (his propeller creation) chases you. It gives you chills and I love that. 🥰

He´s creating an army in hopes it would defeat Miranda btw. Seeing this gif - all the bodies and the machinery (that he´s no doubt invented himself) - really makes you wonder how long he´s been planning this for. Like, either he somehow obtained ppl from outside the village, or all of these are villagers from different time periods. Yknow, like-

"Keep the birth rate high, ensure endless supply."

- Heisenberg, at some point (probably)

Miranda "sampled his blood for later," so I think that means she kinda absorbed his DNA/info or smt? Because she was like "bound for eternity in blood" in reference to the bond with her reincarnated daughter. So, maybe, consuming Ethan's blood would ensure that? Maybe that's her way of taking in someone's essence? I mean, she had to get Mia's DNA in order to impersonate her, so I reckon she's done that by consuming her blood too??

The fact that this is Miranda casually slapping Ethan´s hand away like some pesky fly and going like "NUH-UH, hands off, mister" DOES THINGS TO ME LIKE-

PLS COOK FOR ME AND SLAP ME, I BEG YOU. 😭

...Pretty pls? 👉👈

ASDFNALSJDFNSAKSJBF

.

Imma have to read up some stuff again because, as I've also read today, Miranda was actually an actual scientist/biologist before she got infected?? (I´m sure I knew that at some point, lol.) I´m still in the middle of my 2nd playthrough, so that´s probs some info you get at the very end of the game and I would´ve stumbled upon it regardless. But like, all this knowledge and expertise she has didn´t come from the Megamycete. She was already very intelligent and a more than capable scientist/biologist, and the Megamycete took it to the extreme, kinda.

I also remember there being some sick concept art/artwork in the credits that shows her infecting the villagers by injecting the Cadou directly. There was a father with his sick/dying daughter seeking a "cure" and Miranda was only all too happy to "help" ofc. I mean, we all know she gained the villagers´ trust by pretending to be some saint/godsent, but seeing that concept art really puts into perspective just how cunning Miranda is.

Here´s the artwork, btw:

SHE´S SO...UGH. 😭🫠

The birds she summons are actually her own. Like, she frequently turns into a murder of crows for quick travelling or, as we see here, to descent on her enemies. Though, it was less an attack and more a form taunting with Ethan, let´s be honest.

...I mean, yall can´t tell me she isn´t cackling like a hyena on the inside here. 😭😭😭

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I saw you´ve sent me another ask, so I´ll leave it at that. 😉

OH, btw:

After you defeat Sal, you get a crank with which you can lower the bridge near the ceremony site. This leads you to a boat which you can use to get some extra stuff (like Lady D´s treasure), and also more info on the mold and Miranda´s agenda. You get to see the cave in which Miranda intended to commit suicide after her daughter´s death. The cave where she accidently discovered the mold. The cave that started it all, basically. And literally.

Like, I´m not just talking about Village, seeing as Umbrella (the pharmaceutical company that specializes in the creation of bioweapons) only exists because Miranda saved Oswell E. Spencer after a skiing accident. This was in the early 1950s and only possible because Miranda had been infected by the mold, making her immortal basically, and-

...ANYWAY-

Should you ever play the game yourself, I highly recommend revisiting some places after you´ve defeated each lord because there might be some new stuff to collect and discover. The map kinda changes a bit each time, you could say. Especially Luiza´s place. 😉

Thanks for your ask! 💋