#She knew it would happen eventually
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โฆ (leto, ker - for now!)
"Little minx. Come on, I couldn't possibly have a secret boyfriend without a girl to share it all with. My sister kept my secret yet I believe couldn't understand any of it. When I think back Ker was even smarter than me when it came to build shenanigans not to get caught by SIster Elizabeth. Everything was fun with Ker, pretty much all the time I don't remember a moment of us not whispering and giggling to ourselves - even in our Janus phase, God. It slowly changed as we approached graduation. Ker has always been a fervant believer, she has always prayed a little harder and a little longer than me. i got surprised for her to be one of the Swans not affiliated to a family but as time passed, I believe I understand why. Mother's favorite swans are the most devoted."
"Disconnected. That boy, he stood... still. Yes, let's remember all the fights that would break between Janus, that assface, and Minwoo. Of course the crows love a good brawl and you know what, I do too. Just not when it comes to Minwoo, I never liked anybody messing with him. I would throw myself in there first chance I got just for Janus to back off. If he can beat a crow up, it's death row if he ever touches a swan so, I had nothing to lose. I will never forget how Leto always stood in the way, not cheering, not stopping any of this, but watching, I had to push him to get into the circle, yelling at him, Jesus, Move! It was in the heat of the moment, I appreciate Leto, he just always seemed... Out of place, disconnected."
"Gentle. Keres's skin is gentle. I like the way it does glowd under the sun in the meadow when we are together. Her voice. It is gentle too, music that I love laced with the lullaby of mine. She is, has always been, will always be my best friend, my dance partner. As a new world seemed to have opened to our sisters , only Keres and I have been left in our own. My sorrow to have lost Gayane has been grand and yet I could not be more happier as I found peace and safety in my Keres presence. I adore it when we lay down together the most. When we fall asleep together, as well. I do not dream of what tortures my mind at night, my sleep is peaceful when by her side."
"Target. I do correlate the level of humanity to the level of potential betrayal in a Crow. There always has been empathy in the eyes of a being like Leto. I have read his medical file enough times to understand the techniques used on the first generation of crows did do the wonders they were expected to. It happened to be a matter of time before the bells ring, as the crows and the dogs got unleashed in the forest to chase after him. Many couldn't possibly believe, mistaking his behavior for cowardice like many before him - they couldn't be more in wrong. I always knew his predominant humanity will make him a target. It must have taken braveness then for him to take the decision to go and run. How unfotunate - he must die, still.
#๊ฃผ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. / the white swan.#๊ฃผ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. / interactions.#๊ฃผ ๐๐๐ฆ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. / interactions.#๊ฃผ ๐๐๐ฆ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. / the black swan#I'm having so much fun with these#THANK YOU FOR SENDING LOVE#Gaya and Ker having a friendship based on sneaking out with boys makes so much sense lmao#But Ker indeed is a fanatic compared to Gaya whos like ............ always on the verge of sinning so theres also that#Compared to KaeKer who shares their devotion to the House#But Kae gives codependency with Ker#It's like Kae put a lot on Ker's shoulders by making her her safe space in the House and the one who โ gets her โ because they were both le#I can imagine how this would be heavy and suffocating for Ker too especially with what happens nowadays heh#As for Leto HAHAHA YEAH FOR THE BRAWL YEAH GAYA WAS THERE PUSHING LETO LIKE BITCH DO SOMETHING??#Soryr Gaya just picks up fights with everyone but probs she likes Leto#And when he shows up again and its time to hide him with Minwoo she's like โ Oh shit โ but would do everything to help#She doesn't want him to die especially at some point she knows he's Ker's child father#As for Kae WELLLLLLL she hates LETO SURE but she also noted that interesting thing about him ( like in her diary ร #She knew it would happen eventually
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the leverage team would have had a games nightโฆ once. everyone cheated so much and in such increasingly extreme ways that all mentions of monopoly are banned in their headquarters (this makes talking about marks who monopolize the market very confusing)
#leverage#nate wouldnโt cheat but heโd be by far the most annoying still. like heโd conduct a whole Scheme to win and give a little monologue wheneve#he made a good move and everyone would want to kill him#parker woukd obvs be stealing money & cards and sheโd move their pieces and swap their stuff#but also sheโd try to use her turn to rob the bank#sophie would use neurolinguistic programming and dominate the board w properties#which somehow parker would literally never land on and thatโs incredibly suspicious but none of them really know how she could possibly be#manipulating that fact? itโs logically impossible bc theyโre watching her roll the die and move the piece and sophie knows which properties#she owns so it makes no sense. but parker is parker and she simply will not be caught (even by sophieโs properties)#hardison has studied monopoly theory (yes there are math theories on how to play monopoly) and /tries/ to abide by them but again. sophie i#manipulating him and parker is stealing from him (and sometimes oddly enough *for* him. new money ends up in his bank somehow) so itโs hard#so eventually he resorts to cheating like Everyone Fucking Else and does pretty well bc he rlly does know what sets he wants etc.#eliot is genuinely playing normally. no cheating no math stuff no schemes.#but heโs just sitting there fuming the entire time bc theyโre all very obviously messing with the game and he Knew this was gonna happen bu#goddamn hardison & parker especially know how to get on his nerves (often purposely)#he calms down by making some snacks and. resorting to also cheating lol.#leverageposting
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i posted abt this on my tiktok story but i need to rant more so im putting it here ๐ญ๐ญ the way a lot of mikosai shippers (on tiktok, pinterest, reddit, etc) are is such a big reminder to me of why i hate the strictly romantic soulmates trope with every fiber of my being ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ people who interpret soulmates as "that means theyre canonically together" regardless of how the characters actually feel about each other and if they ACTUALLY get together is so fucking gross to me oh my god its so fucking gross i hate forced romance so bad ๐ญ๐ญ someone cant just say "hey, we're soulmates so you HAVE to date me and its literally weird and impossible for you to like anyone else because i said so!!" and also aiura WOULDNT do that anyway ???? HELLOOO???
you have no idea how many people ive seen call all saiki ships with anyone other than aiura "problematic ships" just because "theyre soulmates"
#SOULMATES DOES NOT MAKE A COUPLE CANON <333#'she SAID theyre soulmates so that means hes HERS now and its gross for u to think he liked anyone else'#hey thats actually... really bad!! hey she actually cant and wouldnt force him to date her!!! hey what the fuck!!!#not a mikosai hate post#only weird forced romance likers hate post <3#if someone doesnt like someone then they dont like them... them being soulmates doesnt change that...#thats actually just not how it works and the idea that that WOULD be how it works is gross#and a lot of the fics ive read of them end up with aiura being all 'ha i told you so! i knew id break u eventually!'#'i knew id get to u if i just kept calling u my boyfriend without permission and saying we're soulmates!'#which like not only would she not do that... its also just really gross#like u really thought 'he doesnt like her so she wears him down and doesnt leave him alone until he relents' and like... u went with that?#oh...#weird...#idk maybe im crazy and also im having a hard time phrasing any of this#but it just brings up so many consent issues and it makes me really uncomfortable#like according to THOSE shippers it wouldnt be by his own will or feelings if he eventually fell in love with her#it would just be because the universe said so and he never had any choice#mikosai is so cute when u think of it in like the totally opposite way#in MY opinion i love mikosai AFTER aiura accepts that soulmates doesnt mean he HAS to date her#that HAS to happen before they date and THEN theyre really cute#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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#sigh. i knew this would happen eventually#she was too pretty to not be drawn (?) idk wtf im sayin#bloberta puppington#moral orel#adult swim#fanart
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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Erin, to her crush: You're a dick
Mason, the crush: I won't argue! But to clarify -
#my characters#its so sad that all of erins character development and kindness is on paper and nothing digital to show her growth#she picks on mason for many reasons and she kinda narrows her eyes at him but its more to squint than to glare#because she watches him from a distance when hes off laughing with others#though they are united on peter being worse than mason at least they can agree no matter what peter is worse#but also masons right arm is metal and she thinks its fascinating bc theres so many high tech prosthetics#why is he using the equivalent of a trash can ? is it some weird flex to not needing advanced stuff?#and its just he was from a poor family and was born with one full arm and then a stump#and he lived a lot of his youth with just one arm so once he got a second arm (installed basically) he went cheap#since he only wanted the other arm to get better jobs cause not many people would hire him with one arm#and he never really cared much about her comments because her lil verbal pokes of#so rogers whod you piss off? the mafia? is actually nicer than stuff he heard as a kid without the fake arm#so he tells her the only reason he has a metal limb is because god knew hed be two strong if born with two arms#and shes like uh huh sure thing rogers#and yeeeeah eventually something happens where mason is injured and erin is panicking#and hes acting like its okay to die because hes a dick remember TRYING to make light of it and she gets so sad#and after hes recovering and better he feels guilty making her so sad and hes talking to her#and she says that she doesnt have a lot of friends and she didnt want to lose one of the few people she liked#and hes just oh.......................... ididntthinkthatwouldbeme#so he starts to be super friendly to her and enforcing the crush that she doesnt wanna own up to#and then she does eventually confess and mason is baffled as to since when and shes like day one? and he just#erin you have got to be kidding me you were glaring at me for months#and shes just i have bad eye sight and im shy what did you expect#he isnt super smart or super stupid hes just exceedingly average
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The only sibling outfit swap Iโve ever cared about, actually.
#first art project since 2018! damn!#raphael luce sure has a face. love to be able to draw it accurately one day.#ignore the fact that I donโt draw backgrounds. tf they got a house for if Iโm not supposed to put them in it???#you all knew it was going to happen eventually#i just think that henry creel. as a fellow autist. would appreciate not having to wear dress pants 24/7. thatโs all.#also i never see alice content and she is So Real To Me#do i tag this as henry fanart. have i really made henry creel fanart. do i want to advertise it.#me when i made henry fanart but itโs not orderly henryโฆ#[Pennywise voice] nobody wants to draw the Creel siblings ๐#itโs okay Iโll do it myself#my art#stranger things fanart
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something something a fanfic in which Ian is best friends with Yevgeny and then he timetravel and falls in love with his best friend's father.
I like to think that in this version he was raised by Clayton cause Monica obviously couldn't, and canonlike she wasn't in the picture much. He then lives with his father, stepmother and siblings but doesn't quite fit with them. Yev was raised by Svetlana and never knew his father cause he left when Yev was a baby.
When Ian travels back he is saved by Mandy. He says he's a Gallagher and she's like "I know the Gallaghers but I never saw you!". He's introduced to his "cousins" who immediately take he in like a brother? Who he is cause of Monica.
Then because of Mandy he gets to know Mickey and younger Svetlana and baby Yev and it is extremely fucked but... my dick's in your dad mouth, sorry Yev!
Gallavich: they start as friends cause Ian quickly hits off with Mandy, and soon Ian gets to understand the difficult situation that led to Yevgeny's conception and why Mickey probably left them when Yev was still a baby. Then, feelings come along and Mickey's deep in the closet but Ian's nothing if open-minded so with time it works out. Ian doesn't lose interest even though Mickey has a wife and baby, he isn't scared off easily, and Yev Svet and Mandy all like him so that's a turn on. Ian likes older guys so the fact that Mickey's an old soul in a hot young body who listens to dad music and is grumpy is what attracts Ian.
The future is forever altered. Ian now actually has a family of Gallagher's he actually likes and fits. Ian came along so Mickey never left the picture and now Yev was raised with his father around. Which changed the way Yev grew up to be, so he's not the version Ian knew, but that's alright cause then Ian gets to meet him again. And yes, they end up being best friends all the same, after all, Yevgeny watch the type of cartoons and listens to the kind of music and plays the same videogames Ian grew up with so they're very close.
#How do time travelers solve the documentation issue? I'm not sure. there would have to be research in order to write this fic.#but if there was someone who would know how to help Ian it would be Svetlana. hello Russian illegal immigrant?#also. shes the first to find out hes not from there cause Ian knew older Svet but hes only now getting to know younger Svet and he#has absolutely no chill so she figures him out rather quickly and than he proves her right by revealing things she never told anyone before#eventually people have to know hes a time traveler but I like to think every time it happens is in a shitty situation totally non planed#and then theres doubt and he has to try and prove but! effect butterfly things wont happen as they happened before#like he will try and say โthis actor will die this yearโ or โbitcoins are a thingโ or โwe'll face a pandemic" and... nope. never happens.#and then hes right about the most stupid useless but detailed thing like the whole plot of a movie thats not released yet or like. vaping.#stop im so funny. it will become a family joke thing like Franny and Liam will constantly listen their family say Ian's a time traveler and#and is it true is it a joke why everybodys so serious about it theyre totally messing with us#mickey gives a total of zero fucks i bet. now he gets why ian is the way he is like super optimistic and anxious and super open minded but#like. it changes zero things for him. good for u ian i guess. i would still love u if u were an alien or from another dimension of whatever#ian gallagher#mickey milkovich#yevgeny milkovich#svetlana yevgenivna#mandy milkovich#gallavich#ian x mickey#shameless#shameless us#og.#fic idea#honestly โfic ideaโ is like my best tag
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read the scratch upd8. little too close to home
#tw vent#in tags at least#when i was reading hs like 3 ish years ago i related a lot to vriska and terezi cause i was in what i think was a really destructive#friendship qpp thing with my best friend online and a boy who liked both of us but mostly her.i was incredibly isolated irl as was my friend#and all my other online friends. i really should have seen that something bad could happen but i didnt and i got into a really deep#depression for like 3 months after but. my dearest friend girl decided to start befriending a 30 yo man and i. like an idiot. followed her#like a lovesick puppy even though all the warning bells were going off. we were in a gc with him that we texted in at all times of the day &#night and we shared selfies and dreams and our daily problems with isolation or hw or whatever. he got more and more creepy and my dearest#friend lashed out at him because she was scared while i sort of stopped talking as much because i was scared but. he still talked to me lots#in dms. he talked shit about the authority figures in our lives and isolated us from our ither online friends he made creepy picrews of me &#my friend getting married and he talked about moving in with us one day. we blocked him but sometimes he still tries to contact me. after it#blew up my friend left me and discord which is probably best and after my depression time i eventually got an irl friend or two but. i never#got over it. he did it to other people too we found out later. he always complimented me on being so sharp and talented and it was nice caus#it was really my first compliment from an adult who wasnt my family and. ig it got to my 14 yo head. anyways. the update made me cry. i had#read that it was bad and knew it would be bad for me specifically cause doc scratch always reminds me of that time in my life but. i didnt#think it would be that bad. i dont blame hs2 creators or anyone else and ig im glad i braved the storm but it was really painful to read#gonna go watch a more light hearted thing now.#if anyone sees this dw ill get over it#anyways. believe the warnings this update is very triggering and you can skip it if you want#glad i have like 5 followers rip
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I absolutely need to draw Pierre with some sort of dog imagery it just fits them so well
#pierre being like a dog bc the way shes so devoted to james and literally would follow him to the ends of the earth#but can get very violent towards other people abt it especially bc hes very overprotective#im gonna be honest there were probably times where she had to physically stop herself from trying to maim arcade bc of jealousy#he actually considered staying in vegas bc its one of the few times they didnt join a raider gang and didnt have to worry about that#but decided to leave eventually bc he was literally concerned hed just fucking walk up to arcade and shoot him point blank#but knew james would never forgive her if that happened so. took the high road for once#vinny rambles#pretty pierre (oc)
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a drow adopting a gith kid is something that can be so personal actually
#naviidi backstory infodump for context:#naviidi was born to a noble house in menzoberranzan and was the firstborn child of his mother#who was/is his house's matron mother#and when he was born his mother was pissed that her firstborn was male and was going to have him sacrificed to lolth instead of raising him#but his father/her favoured consort begged her to let naviidi live and swore that she wouldn't have to do anything for the baby but feed hi#and she eventually relented and let naviidi live on the condition that he couldn't keep any other sons they had#and that as soon as her body had recovered they would try for a daughter#so naviidi's oldest sister is close enough in age to him to be โirish twinsโ#and his oldest sister and mother both despised him for being born first and a male#but he was always his father's favourite and his father made sure he knew how much he loved him#when the party ran into the woman from the society of brilliance he was staunchly against kidnapping an egg for it to be raised#by members of another race#but he and lae'zel went poking around the hatchery out of curiosity#and when he spoke to the varsh he could feel the same desperation his own father had when he was born#and it moved him enough to persuade the varsh to let him take the egg to save it and find a new creche for it to hatch in#i'm not sure what i want to happen with him and the egg post-game#but he's still pissed at the society for trying to kidnap the egg to use to push (what he sees as) their own propaganda#so he doesn't give it to them#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 screenies#drow tav#bg3 oc#bg3 tav#crรจche y'llek#naviidi tag#jonathan rambles
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theme change bc im going through an existential crisis at 12 am
#sophie's idle chatter#i knew this would happen eventually#sniff im gonna miss my haitham theme but its okay hes on my pinned banner#anyway speaking of... i love my new pinned banner bc its very cute imo ;w;#and also the 4.1 preview banner for thr pfp... ourgh i love when they do this style.....#AND OFC THE SUPER PRETTY ART FOR THE HEADER RAAAHHHHHH#anyway ive been busy and ive been writing so ive made progress on the neuvie fic where he saw the resignation letter... yeah. that one.#mainly the ending/confession-ish part ๐ฉ#but now i will be sleeping bc once again ive lost track of time ๐ซก AND ASKS FUCK#will do that later (<- she says for the millionth time)
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Imagining a scenario where at some point Dante and Lady get married purely for practical purposes (like if she gets hospitalized so Dante can visit/make some decisions) but Lady ends up dating Trish so Dante's like
#dmc#this is crack but. i find it hilarious#if we're doing a timeline that sort of parallels our own i'm also imagining dante being like#'don't worry you're free to divorce me once you and trish are allowed to be married! no hard feelings'#'hell we can make it a double divorce-marriage! we can get divorced at the courthouse and then you and trish get married right after!'#i really like lady/trish as a ship#i generally think of dante/lady as something that they might have tried out when they were younger but eventually realized they weren't-#into. and there were no hard feelins there. just a 'yeah sorry but i don't think this is going to work' and the other going 'fine by me'#a very gentle friends to maybe lovers or just dating back to friends#and in this marriage scenario it would basically fit right into canon. they wouldn't live together or anything#it would purely be a paper thing just so dante gets some special privileges in case something happens to lady#also the extended version of this is dante visiting kyrie at some point and she asks him how his wife is doing which makes him go#'wait. who is this supposed wife of mine?' bc he's pretty sure nero doesn't know about the marriage so how would kyrie know that??#and she reveals that she thought it was Trish which makes him laugh and say nah they're just friends. also Trish is dating Lady#which makes Kyrie go 'oh! i'm sorry. you two seemed close and nero mentioned seeing her at your place so i'd assumed...'#and dante's like 'eh no worries it's no big deal. i was wondering how you knew about lady and i but that makes more sense.'#then kyrie: 'wait. you and lady are married?' dante: 'yeah!' kyrie: 'but i thought you said she was dating Trish??' dante: 'she is!'#kyrie: '??? uh. well if you're happy i'm happy for you too.' dante: 'thanks! i'll let them know.'#erurandomness#erubabbles#eru hcs#hcs
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god it's all so very shitty and there's nothing i can do about it.
#my dad still in the hospital and i think he's a bit better a bit less manic but who knows#he feels like a stranger again and i don't knoe how to talk to him (again)#and it would feel better if i knew that at least while he's in the hospital he's getting the proper care but no#i've been to visit him two times in my whole life and the conditions are absolutely horrible#a moldy run dowm building with prison like bars bars on the windows and staff that isn't payed and supported enough to care#they just drug people#but then it's not really safe for him to be with my sister and mom while he's manic cause he gets violent and can't hear no#and will steal from my moms wallet for cigarettes CAUSE HE'S MANIC AND THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE IN MANIA DO#so why doesn't he deserve to be in a safe warm and kind place where other patients don't steal his clothes#all these people deserve better#and when he eventually gets ''better'' then what he can't work he can't support himself but i feel my mother is done#i can't blame her either for not wanting to be married to him anymore cause it's frankly none of my business#and because it's something she probably wanted to do for a really long time but she doesn't want him to be left alone#sure he can go live with his brother and his family but i can only imagine the hate and anger they would show to my mom if she makes#that sort of decision#but i also want my dad to be his own person to be confident and strong#is that never going to happen?#i really fucking hate all of this
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Not having read the manga I thought Rukia's rescue arc took place somewhere in the middle of Bleach as a series, and not at the very beginning, with it being in the middle making it make sense for a more romantic reading of IchiRuki. Now you can read it as romantic regardless, it's up to the reader. Or you can see it as Ichigo being the older brother to two younger sisters and the oldest kid of a single parent household, where older kids (especially if girls) act as a surrogate second parent, taking on the vacant slot left by the other parent (his mom in this case, not surprisingly he looks so much like her)--as usual, in families a role that exists and is left empty must be filled, even if you need to bring in outsiders for that purpose.
On to the main point, it is so funny to me but also such an accurate portrayal of peak teenage behavior, that this group of kids did sneak into the Soul Society (yeah dude, let's do it! we will save our friend. we will bring her back. no one messes with our circle. we'll definitely come back in one piece, trust me!) to save their friend of... at most six months or a semester of school as Shunsui points out and learns from Chad approaching him.
And Shunsui, being the perspective of an adult who has formed frontal lobes (which he actively tries to destroy with alcohol) and can see in retrospective how teens are and how he was as a teen, realizing that "Oh god! you are dumb. (you are dumb because) You are kids. I cannot kill you!'
Only a teen would pull off a wild stunt like that, because adults either care less about their friends or get too caught up in overanalyzing the situation (Ukitake as Rukia's captain), afraid to be involved (Shunsui because while he didn't like the execution, he doesn't want to do unnecessary work and make things worse, less if he uses his connections or cards right for any little thing that happens in the world there will be nothing left to use when things come down to his niece Nanao), or fearing the loss of social status and family shame (Byakuya as Rukia's brother).
#anime manga rambles#bleach#renji should have helped#but to his credit he did admit it that he knew rukia was out of his league and the easy way was too pretend she never existed and#thus not think that they could never be together#he came to his senses and begged ichigo to save her and then fought byakuya and still went to the execution even if he already lost to bkuy#it's not clear if renji would have eventually not kept himself from saving rukia and ichigo just accelerated an event about to happen#there's also pride and respect in that Renji may have felt he was dishonoring Rukia's choice to die by throwing a tantrum that she should..#continue on living at her execution like who is he to decide for rukia (in his head)#he cared abt protecting the image of rukia more so than protecting rukia bc he was too weak to protect rukia & that's all he was strong...#enough to do#he grew complacent in his choice that it took an outsider to shake him up that#there's no dignity in a dead loved one and you should strive to keep them alive#anyway i wrote an essay on renji in the tags
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men are the worst thing to ever happen to femme friendships
#heard some fucking awful news at brunch im processing it in a chill way (i am not)#i knew this would happen eventually but me feeling this bad about it jist makes everything a lot more real and also just so much more sad#chappell was really right when she said good luck babe
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