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lemonhemlock · 4 months ago

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Hi Lemon! It's always a pleasure to read your thoughts on hotd so I just want to share mine and ask for your opinion :)

First of all, I completely agree with one of the recent anons about helaemond and how it would have made the story better and more logical, the characters involved more engaging and human and ofc, the motivations more clear. And yes, it's ridiculous how my fellow greenies have been screeching about it making the greens look bad and hypocritical when in reality it would have only endeared them more to the GA (if done right, of course). Aemond would have been a multi layered character, Helaena would have had more relevance and Aegon and Aemond's fallout would have been more convincing. Oh well, a missed opportunity, unfortunately. But the greens are the ones who were damaged.

Second of all, Helaena is such a mystery to me and not in a good way. She has the same gift as Daenys the dreamer and yet she won't do anything with it? Why? To make her a constantly doomed and tragic figure who can't avoid her destiny? Because that's not the best explanation and just seems lazy. She is completely detached from the narrative. I thought at first that she couldn't interpret her dreams and visions, but after the balcony scene with Aemond it's obvious she can. Also, the way she apathetically talked to Aemond abut him dying and (sort of ) no one caring rubbed me the wrong way and I actually felt bad for him in that scene, not her, even though it obviously wasn't the writers' intention (and I agree with you, %his request wasn't unreasonable at all).

Finally, them using Helaena in Daemon's vision made my blood boil. Apparently, she can be Bran like toward her own brother because he "deserves" it, but it's OK to use her to "light the way" for Daemon in his "redemption" arc. It's unbelievable and straight up offensive . What is actually the point of her character and her ability then? Anyway, I would love to read your thoughts on this. Thanks.

first of all, anon, hello & thank you & i hope you enjoy your stay on my blog! 💚

PREFACING this by saying that the full helaena-aemond scenes might offer a bit more context than we already have, but, basically, here are my takes, as of now, the friday before the season finale. subject to change!

i guess my thesis statement is that this whole season kind of destroys helaena's character, as well.

let's look at her relationship with aegon:

from what i understand, she says she was "happy" before the war. a helaegon win perhaps? if she was "happy", then she must have been content enough with her position as aegon's wife, no? that doesn't seem like a huge logical leap to make. so, whatever aegon did or didn't do, it must just not have bothered her that much to impinge on her "happiness", even if perhaps she wouldn't necessarily rate him very highly as a husband either.

but, then again, she never mentions him. he just suffered a traumatic injury and is in constant pain. helaena is not besieged by grief this season, she is not catatonic with her own trauma, she is very lucid and calm and acting normally, yet she doesn't once ask about him or visit him or offer SOME kind of condolences or feel any kind of way about him being a cripple. he is still her brother, though? and apparently she has no particular beef with him? she shares a daughter with him, yet never even considers how it will be difficult for jaehaera to see her father like that. she just doesn't give a shit. and, i have to say, this makes her look rather sociopathic.

now let's look at her relationship with aemond. she is apparently so dismissive and gives zero fucks about the concept of aemond's death. like with aegon, there is a version in which helaena could have real grievances with aemond that could lead her to act like this. does she, though?

she doesn't give a shit that aemond burned aegon

she doesn't give a shit that aemond instigated the blacks into assassinating her son

she doesn't give a shit that aemond dismissed alicent from the council

what other reason could there possibly be? does she disagree with his war strategy? does she care that he burned a village? is she a secret rhaenyra stan? did he step on her favourite cockroach when they were kids and now it's payback time?

so, to be so indifferent and apathetic and downright heartless towards her brothers for no reason, again, paints her like a sociopath. what does she even care about? just her bugs? what in the seven hells? i'm not even sure that was the writers' intention anyway, they just truly have no idea what to do with her character. she is there so her interlocutor might exhibit some of their own character traits, but it's like talking to an android.

there are also ways in which one could show helaena's reluctance regarding flying dreamfyre to war, not just "lol i don't want to be bothered" when her family's lives are at stake. at the very least show her terrified of dying or squeamish about violence or something.

and her assisting daemon's redemption arc is downright nauseating. she gives zero fucks about her brothers, but DAEMON is the one she elects to help??

from a watsonian POV, she is not likeable or understandable at all, they are basically turning her into a selfish coward infantilising herself and not bothering to take the slightest initiative to change or influence the things she disagrees with, who just wants to sit on her arse all day waiting to die. but can she truly be analysed through a watsonian POV? was this the intention of the writers? (death of the author and all - what other in-universe characterisation could you give her based on her inaction on all fronts?)

like with alicent, i, for one, cannot apply watsonian analysis to helaena, because that's not how a human person would believably act in those situations. that's not how neuro-divergent people act! they cannot keep using this as an excuse. i don't want to hear the "everyone grieves in different ways" pretext. controversial opinion, but it's downright offensive to neuro-divergent people to claim they are so soulless and don't care about anything other than their hyper-fixations and would not blink if their family were in mortal danger or lift a finger to help in any kind of way

#ask #anon #helaena stans don't come for me this is just how they are writing her. book!helaena would never #hotd s2 #hotd critical [characterisation]#hotd leaks #house of the dragon leaks #hotd spoilers #house of the dragon spoilers

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jessica-problems · 5 months ago

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I think if you swapped Anthy Himemiya into the plot of Gushing Over Magical Girls in place of Utena Hiiragi, she would actually be so much worse. Like, *actual supervillain* levels of so much worse. Hear me out. Even in RGU, Anthy has ambushed Nanami with an octopus and TF'ed her into a cow. She swapped bodies with Utena that one time. Anthy is not above freaky magical pranks. I think she would go mad with power if she there were no consequences. Hiiragi just wants to have fun and tease the heroines and ultimately help them grow and succeed. Anthy's just in it for herself. She has *so* much weird complex trauma to work through. If she had the chance to put someone else in the rose coffin, I think she would do it without a second thought. Maybe then they could understand what she survived. The wrinkle is, there are literally no men in the world of Mahoako. If that means no patriarchy, then Anthy's trauma is completely unique. Assuming she somehow has the exact same backstory, then gets teleported into the world of Mahoako, she would be literally the only girl in the entire world to have suffered patriarchal violence. All the superpowers in the world couldn't get Anthy to a point where she could convince someone to understand what she's gone through. Even real men, who also live under patriarchy, manage to not notice most of it. People living in a world where it never existed simply could not understand. If she ever learned about consent, it was purely theoretical, and certainly doesn't reflect her lived experience. I don't know that she has *ever* had the chance to make a decision that wasn't coerced out of her by her position as The Rose Bride. Not to mention the sexual violence. Anthy has no idea what Safe Sane and Consensual even means, and if she did learn, I don't know that she would feel like giving others a chance she never got. Anthy would become an evil god just like her older brother. Which naturally means Utena Tenjou would have to slot in as the heroine trying to rescue Anthy from herself. She would obviously do an enemies-to-lovers thing with villain!Anthy, but I... don't know how it would play out. The higher stakes and genuine violence seem insurmountable. And Anthy could have a crazy dynamic with Kiwi. Kiwi hates the magical girls for being cuter and more popular that her, and Anthy might come to hate them for never suffering in the way she suffered, so I think they would encourage the chips on each others' shoulders to bloom into genuine malice. Possibly some kind of escalating prank war, or a mutual attraction built on being insane together. Alice, however, Anthy might see as like a younger version of herself. They're both quietly mischevious, mostly content to sit and watch the chaos unfold. And the fucked up thing is, Lord Enorme might even become the lesser of two evils. She has an evil plot, but at least she's efficient about it. Killing magical girls for a specific goal is less cruel than aimlessly torturing them so they could maybe understand your trauma.

---

On the flip side, I think if you put Utena Hiiragi into RGU as the rose bride, almost nothing would change, because so much of the tragedy of the Rose Bride is wrapped up in the fact that the actual girl filling the role barely matters.

#aj oc #rgu #mahoako #gushing over magical girls #revolutionary girl utena

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darklinaforever · 9 months ago

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Why are you all so serious when it comes to imaginary characters? This works for both teams btw. It's okay to love books, characters, and so on, but you act like we live in real Westeros and choose who will rule us. Or as if the Targaryens are your real relatives during a real war. For God's sake. The fact that people love the blacks does not give them any moral superiority. The fact that people love the greens doesn't make them immoral or anything.

In fact, you really don't read any of my posts, and are you really content with the fact that I'm team Blacks and loving Daemyra to spit your venom in anonymous messages in fact ?! It’s just crazy at this point. You look like a bunch of weirdos.

I never claimed to be morally better, or that people who liked the Greens were immoral. Liking the Greens doesn't make you immoral. They are good villains, and most people, including me, like good villains. I'm literally a fan of the real Alicent in the book. She's a great villain that I love to hate.

And for your information, I also never said that Team Blacks were morally superior people. My god, I even once had an argument with a pro team Blacks and pro Daemyra person who hated the Velaryon children and the fact that they were illegitimate ! I never decreed that those who liked the black team were 100% good people VS those who liked the greens as bad ! Where does this bullshit come from ?!

On the other hand, what I denounce are those who claim that the Greens are not villains / antagonists. When that's literally what they are. This is their narrative function. They are not morally gray characters, anti-heroes or worse yet, misunderstood virtuous characters as some like to claim. Once again, there is no problem with liking Team Greens, but there is a problem with believing that they are justified in the story for doing what they do and that they are anything other than villains / antagonists. If you read Fire and Blood and end up being Team Greens at face value, you either have questionable beliefs or you simply have significant problems with reading comprehension (and I hope this is generally the second case for the ASOIAF and Fire and Blood community). The Greens are literally a bunch of misogynists fighting for patriarchal traditions, are blood purists and mostly rapists like Aegon II and Aemond.

The Blacks team is not perfect. Certainly, there are noble people among them, but also and above all morally ambiguous characters. However, they are not the antagonists and villains of the story. They are the protagonists. Team Blacks fights for a woman's right to ascend the throne. About keeping your promises and oaths. And even if it is not for feminist purposes, Rhaenyra on the throne would have given a precedent for women to subsequently also have the right to power. In short, Rhaenyra on the throne would have set a precedent to probably improve the situation of women in Westeros in the lines of succession. To be Team Greens in the first degree is in fact to deny power to women and change in a society. That's what it implies narratively.

It's the same thing for those trying to say they are neutral, trying to make people believe that the two teams are on the same level, probably to avoid feeling guilty for loving the Greens beyond simple villains, refusing to see them as such. To speak of being neutral is to deny that the Blacks are fighting for a much nobler cause overall than the Greens. Once again, the Blacks are fighting for a woman's right to the throne and respecting her words and oaths. While the Greens are literally treated misogynists and usurpers who fight for patriarchal tradition... Just like the simple fact that the number of war crimes are not at all equivalent depending on the team.

It's not the same thing. These are simple facts.

The narrative purpose of GRRM's for the Rhaneyra character is simple. She was usurped because she was a woman. By misogyny. And people who are first degree team greens or neutral have this great tendency to deny it. Simply because otherwise, they couldn't justify defending the greens.

Reading Fire and Blood and ending up at first level being team greens or neutral, once again demonstrates a huge reading comprehension problem. GRRM didn't write this story thinking that the Greens were right or that both teams were on the same level, otherwise, the Greens wouldn't get karmic punishment.

I realize that everyone can see what they want in a fictional work, but there are limits to stupid interpretation. Fire and Blood is very clear that the Greens are the villains / antagonists with very bad motivations, going against the law itself. Because yes, the word of the king is the law. Supporting the Greens or being neutral at first glance, without seeing them as villains / antagonists, is at this stage being willfully blind, unless once again you have questionable values or quite simply very, very poor reading comprehension, which you should be worried about.

The excuse of "it's fiction, so we can think what we want, it doesn't matter" is bullshit. An excuse for not thinking about the fiction you consume. This is proof of intellectual laziness. Do you really think GRRM wouldn't want you to think about his work ?

It's a naive and simplistic way of thinking, designed to justify supporting a misogynistic team, wishing to maintain patriarchal traditions. Once again, either it comes from your own problematic morality that you do not accept, or it is simply not having reading comprehension and supporting the fact of not thinking about what you consume in order to avoid not be aware of the problematic things about what you love in order to simply not give yourself a bad conscience.

Again, there is nothing immoral about liking the Greens. Most people like a good villain / antagonist. I've always said it. On the other hand, yes, it is problematic, to pretend that the Greens are not villains / antagonists, then trying to make them pass for more complex characters than they are, even anti-heroes, or worse, downright misunderstood characters who would be morally superior to the Blacks team. That's always what I talk about. Nothing more. And if this truth bothers you, you should question yourself...

Reflecting on the fiction we consume is not stupid. That should be the basis. And I won't apologize for thinking about what I consume.

And it's still cheeky to come and tell me that I'm lecturing people when it's me that people come to harass with private messages to wrongly explain to me that I romanticize grooming, that I'm a Bitch who doesn't understand anything about the characters I'm talking about, that I should be ashamed, close my tumblr, that Daemon Targaryen is the real rapist from Fire and Blood and that Aegon II is just a normal prince of his time doing his best. Ironically, it's the Greens and Neutral team who always come to me to spew their superior morality to apparently understand that poor little Aegon II is a complex and tragic character while Daemon is the real monster of the story and that the real The goal of Fire and Blood is to choose your favorite war criminal. Lol. That couldn't be further from the truth, and it's complete bullshit. Who once again tries to impose moral superiority on others ? (And again, I'm also entitled to this for liking Kylo Ren / Ben Solo and the Darkling) I think you're clearly talking to the wrong person in terms of promulgating moral oaths.

Love what you love. Just be aware of what it is and think about it. That's all I'm saying.

Once again, I have nothing against those who like the Greens. I have a problem with those who try to make people believe that they are not the villains / antagonists that GRRM made them out to be in the story. To try to make them appear as complex characters, anti-heroes, misunderstood characters who would have reasons just to act as they do. Worse still, to come and tell me that their favorite characters are morally superior to those of the Blacks team or even on an equal footing. Things that are completely false. And if these simple truths bother you that much, don't read my tumblr ! It's simple to do, isn't it ?

At this point of stupidity, I'm going to end up losing my faith in humanity...

@aleksanderscult

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milf-lover42 · 6 months ago

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I've been thinking about Georgina Orwell an alarming amount this past week but I think I've exhausted all the good fan content out there 💔, tumblr posts, fanfics, hell even whatever pinterest gave me has run dry. I'm sad, I'm contentless, and I'm shamefully in love with Georgina Orwell.

That was longer than I thought itd be but basically the point is that if you have any advice for where to look next then I will take it, and if not then I am humbly asking you for any headcanons or anything you have 🙏

THANK YOUUU SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG!! YOU HAVE WONDERFUL TASTE IN WOMEN!!!

Dear anon I am so so unbelievably sorry for the time it has taken to get to you. I, an Esmé kinner, and my partner, a Georgina kinner, think about this ask every day and have been dying to answer you. Life has just been all over the place.

I would say that these headcanons are just that, and if you disagree then that’s fine, but truthfully I think of what we have come up with over the years as the real and actual truth and canon of the series. With that in mind! Here you go, I hope you enjoy!

Lore headcanons

First and foremost!

No matter the version, book, show, or continuation of the movie that never happened… Georgina survived her “death” at the Mill. In show canon, obviously there’s just an escape chute in the furnace, easy peasy, everyone has said this.

In book canon… yeah okay sure she tripped and was sawed in half at the mill. However, that woman has surely seen an Alice Cooper concert and knows how to fake a gory death live. She probably taught him how to do it to be honest.

So. She lives through Miserable Mill no matter the version. That woman is unkillable.

Georgina’s family is Old VFD. Like the Orwells were founding members type shit. Maybe it was her parents, maybe her grandparents or further, but either way, she was raised knowing everything. She was one of few members capable of learning about VFD and its inner workings from her own family - long before they died. She is the last keeper of every secret. She knows more things about the history of the organization than most of the sugarbowl gen can even begin to piece together. If VFD had nuclear weapons, Georgina Orwell would be the only one left who knew the codes, and that includes the Sinister Duo. Because of this, she’s very disconnected from the other members that we know of because they just don’t know about the truly dark information that VFD has kept secret from itself. She is technically still VFD, and in her earlier life was a dedicated member in some capacity, but she has no strong allegiance to it aside from her secret keeping (though that is more familial allegiance) when the SBG undergoes their schism.

Characteristic headcanons

BOTH of her knees are bad, that’s why she carries a cane. She doesn’t always need it (see: how often she simply holds it instead of actually placing it on the ground in the show), the pain flares up at different intervals and usually only in one leg at a time, but she always carries one A) because it is her sword and B) because that way no one can ever tell if it’s a good or bad day for her as far as knee pain goes.

She takes her coffee with no creamer, but does use sugar. It just varies in quantity per day. NEVER creamer or milk. Also is totally someone that’s a “don’t talk to me before my morning coffee” person. She doesn’t ever say this, she doesn’t have a nonsense mug that says it. However, if you try to speak to her before her coffee she will simply ignore you. She doesn’t get mad or glare or anything. She just… does not care until she’s had coffee. So it’s best to just wait because you won’t get anything out of her until then.

Tea she takes plain, nothing in it, no milk, no sugar, no lemon, nothing. Just. Tea. She isn’t a tea snob by any means, she will drink any tea she is given. If it’s bad tea she’ll just think that it wasn’t great, could be improved, but will take NO steps to improve it herself. She doesn’t even look at what type she is buying and she has no favorites. She likes tea enough to buy and make it but she literally does not care enough to select one. She just picks one at random every single time. She has had some truly horrible teas in her time without complaining or changing her habits once.

If you ask her what matcha is she will have NO idea what the fuck you are talking about.

Thank you so much for the ask, I love talking about my wife. I have so many more headcanons but pretty much all of them revolve around the idea that she and Esmé are together pre and post series (I am writing a fic slowly but surely to better explain this dynamic) and that they adopt Carmelita after the hotel. In the case that you are not an Eswell shipper I am keeping them to myself for the time being, but should you want that specific Georgina content I am more than happy to oblige! Just shoot me another ask and I will begin to compile it for you.

#georgina orwell #asoue #milk talks #milk asks #a series of unfortunate events #milk and laz

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braveclementine · 5 months ago

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Victoria Tries Killing Me With a Soccer Ball

Warnings: None

Copyright: I do not own any Twilight characters or locations. I do own Davina Mikelson and Marcel. I also own the backstory for my OC. I do not condone any copying of this.

Davina P.O.V.

It's been about a week since we got back from Kentucky and both sides of the field- Vampire and Werewolf- was filled in about everything on the trip.

I was preparing for a date tonight with Carlisle. Alice had dropped yet another dress off at the house for me to wear. Honestly, it was starting to get ridiculous. My closet was more full of Alice, Rosalie, and Esmes' left over things than my own.

The dress was Jade green- the best colour on me- and had almost no sleeves and a very swishy skirt. I wore silver jewelry, held a silver purse, and wore silver heels with this outfit. Not to mention after I finished curling my hair, I put in silver pins to hold some of it up. Pearl earrings though.

I was nervous because Alice seemed so overly excited for this date which made me wonder what was going to happen.

Probably nothing.

She was probably just glad that Carlisle and I were going out on a date. We hadn't been on one since we'd gotten back from Italy.

Carlisle showed up, wearing a tight sweater with a white shirt underneath and a tie. He was always wearing ties. He reminded me of Elijah Mikelson sometimes- just without the three piece suits.

Which reminded me! We had binged watched Vampire Diaries ever since I had gotten back from Kentucky. The guys watched it in interest, mostly to see what us girls liked about it. Bella watched some of it, but it wasn't really her thing.

However Esme, Alice, Rosalie, and I couldn't get enough of it.

We knew the guys got easily jealous and were comparing the guys in the TV show to the guys in real life and saying who we'd rather date. Carlisle especially hated it whenever I fawned over Damon Salvatore- probably because Carlisle was blond and was starting to wonder (according to Edward) if he was even my type.

It was quite fun.

Of course, even if Damon Salvatore existed. . . okay so maybe I'd have to have both Damon and Carlisle but that wasn't really a problem, was it?

Oh well.

I headed down the stairs, making sure the lights and stove were turned off before I answered the knock at the door.

"Hey." I said happily, letting Carlisle scoop me up and zoom to the car. It was raining and vampire speed was far more effective than an umbrella.

Carlisle sild into the other seat.

I stared at him, wild ideas swimming through my head and he glanced over. "What?"

"Just thinking." I said with a small smile.

"About what?"

"If you can drive and cuddle at the same time." I admitted, flushing slightly.

He chuckled lowly. "Vampires can multitask."

And in a flash, I was sitting on his lap, my face, facing towards him as he drove, one hand on the wheel, the other around my waist. I rested my forehead on his shoulder so that he could still see the road.

I snuggled into him, feeling his cool, but strong arm around me. "I love you Carlisle. I love you so much."

He pretty much purred into my ear, "I love you too Davina."

After a few minutes of content silence I whispered, "I think I understand why I was so at home with the wolf pack now. It's because I should be one of them."

"I'm glad you're not though." Carlisle said softly. "It would very hard to be together. Not because I wouldn't like you for being a werewolf, but it's very hard for a werewolf and a vampire to be in the same room together."

"I know." I whispered. "I'm glad I've never transformed either. Although now I'm afraid that I might either not be able to become a vampire at all, or I'll have to become a vampire sooner than I wished so that I don't turn into a wolf."

"I'll keep you happy enough that you won't be angry enough to turn." Carlisle kissed my cheek, slowing down. "We're here."

He pulled into a parking space and I saw the fancy restaurant in front of us.

"Don't worry." Carlisle murmured, running his lips from my ear, down my jaw, to my neck and up again. "Just dessert. Nothing else."

I giggled. "Am I dessert?"

Carlisle's eyes flashed black before turning gold again. "You could be. . . if we don't hurry."

He licked slowly up my neck with the tip of his tongue, making me giggle again and shiver. I pressed my lips to his in fervor. I felt his tongue swipe across the bottom of my lip and opened my mouth slightly, allowing his tongue to enter my mouth, swirling around, colliding with my tongue, fighting for dominance that I knew he would win anyways.

I pulled away slowly, breathing for air. "Dessert. Sounds good."

Carlisle chuckled lowly, pecking my lips before pulling the keys out of the ignition, and opening the door. I climbed out of the car, fixing my dress as he stepped out as well, slamming the door shut, and locking the car.

He held out his hand which I took. The rain had stopped, the clouds swirling above us.

"What's the last name?" The hostess asked promptly without any gawking at Carlisle which was a first.

"Cullen." Carlisle replied.

She looked at the computer, tapped the screen a few times, gathered up two menus, and said, "Right this way."

"All business, I like her." I muttered under my breath for only him to hear.

He chuckled lightly as we followed her through the quiet, romantic restaurant. He squeezed my hand as we got a table in the back which was very close to being empty.

He slid into the seat with his back to the wall, while I slid in the seat across from him, facing the wall.

"I already ordered, just so you know." Carlisle said softly, reaching across the table to take my hand. "I know what you like."

I smiled gently, slipping my heels off, placing my feet on his legs, out straight, one foot on each leg.

"You're very touchy tonight." Carlisle said with a smirk, but also honest curiosity in his voice, "Is anything wrong?"

"No." I said, shrugging, running my thumb over his knuckles. His skin was so smooth. "I just. . . I want to be as close to you as I can get."

The waitress came out a few moments later with the dessert, setting it down in front of us. I smiled down at it as she walked away. "You do really know me." I admitted.

The Hot fudge cake looked so appetizing. The large dollop of whip cream on top of the large chocolate brownie and vanilla ice-cream sandwich. The cherry leaked juices, penetrating into the whip cream, dying it a red and probably tainting the taste. Chocolate sauce leaked over the edges of the cake, pooling on the plate.

[I'm honestly craving these now that I'm writing about. Someone help!]

"It does look good." Carlisle admitted.

I picked up the spoon, carving into the dessert, popping a piece in my mouth and closing my eyes, nearly moaning at the decadent tastes that melted in my mouth. "Carlisle, this is so good. Thank you."

He chuckled, squeezing the hand that wasn't holding the spoon.

I opened my eyes. His gold eyes seemed brighter, a new emotion I'd never seen behind them. "Say. If you added blood to food, would it taste like anything?"

Carlisle thought about it. "I have no idea."

"Hmm," I thought about it. "I mean, maybe not normal solid foods. But like. . . I don't know. Adding blood to a chocolate smoothie or something. I don't know if it would work. I should experiment later with that."

He chuckled, "Making sure you can get your chocolate after you're a vampire?"

"Exactly." I winked at him.

I finished off the dessert rather slowly. For one thing, I didn't want to look like a slob eating it. For another, I wanted this date to last as long as possible.

"Davina. . ." Carlisle said softly as I finally put the spoon down and dabbed my mouth with a napkin.

I looked at him, wondering what he was thinking about. He stood up and I was going to get to my feet before he got down on one knee, pulling a box out from his pocket.

Oh.

"Davina," Carlisle's golden eyes were burning. I was frozen in my seat, my heart beating harder than I could've thought possible without bursting out of my chest. "I fell in love with you the moment I laid eyes on you. I fell in love with your beautiful onyx eyes and your quirky personality. The way that quotes just roll off your tongue, even if I don't completely understand where they come from. I love the way that you know exactly what to say when I feel down to make me feel better. Your touch makes me feel alive in ways I haven't in nearly three hundred years. I will never love anyone the way I love you. I need you in my life. So, Davina Hermione Michaelson. . . Will you Marry me?"

So many emotions were conflicting in my chest as I stared at Carlisle. Azim's face popped up, the first person that I thought I would marry. But Carlisle wasn't like that. Carlisle was different. Carlisle was my soulmate.

I swallowed. "Yes."

Carlisle carefully took the ring out of the box. It was rather large and definitely old fashioned and he looked at me, slightly apologetic. "I know it's not. . . in the fashion. It was my mothers."

I was getting a ring from the 1640s? Wow.

"That's alright." I whispered. "It's not the ring I care about you know."

He smiled as he slid the ring onto my left hand ring finger. It had a simple gold band with an intricate. . . almost flower like design with a large diamond in the center. Smaller diamonds circled around the large one.

"It's beautiful." I murmured. "I love you Carlisle."

"I love you too." Carlisle murmured, bending down to kiss me. I leaned into the kiss eagerly. The ring rested easily on my hand. "I suppose I should've asked Sam for permission first though."

I chuckled, "He's my brother, not my father."

Carlisle nodded a little. "Ready to go home?"

"Yes." I said softly, standing, taking his arm and we went home.

------------------

"Stay in La Push today." Carlisle warned.

"I know." I said sincerely.

Alice had foreseen that Victoria would be coming back today. Edward and Bella were in Florida at the moment. Edward had wanted to get Bella out of Forks when she came. Meanwhile, the others would be hunting Victoria. Alice knew exactly where she was going to be.

"Please stay safe." I said, kissing Carlisle fiercely. He wrapped his arms around me tightly.

"Carlisle, we have to go." Alice said. "We have twenty minutes."

"I'm going." I murmured, hurrying from the house, climbing on to the motorcycle, and taking off for La Push. I arrived there in under ten minutes, pulling up to Harry's house. Seth was already waiting for me with his soccer ball.

"Hey Mom!" Seth said happily as I climbed off the motorcycle. "Are you ready to see my wicked moves?"

"Of course." I grinned. "But we should stay along the treaty line."

I had already called Sam and let him know that Victoria was going to be here. Seth wasn't allowed to participate which was slightly annoying to him.

"Come on buddy." I said, ruffling his hair.

We headed into the forest, laughing. We were going to head to the creek and stand on either side and make ridiculous throws at each other for the other to catch. It was going to be fun. Alice hadn't seen any problems, so there shouldn't be any.

We arrived at the stream and there were no problems. The water was rushing past quickly though. "You gotta be on the other side." Seth said. "You know, treaty line and all."

I giggled, "Sure thing werewolf boy."

I walked evenly across one of the logs, making it to the other side of the river. The water wasn't too deep, maybe six feet. Swimmable, but not drownable.

"Alright Seth! Let's see what you can do." I said with a grin.

Carlisle P.O.V.

We waited, still and silent, in the place that Alice had said Victoria would come to. Alice was in front, Jasper closest to her on her right with me on the outside of Jasper. On the left side of Alice was Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett.

I tugged the sleeves of my navy blue sweatshirt up slightly.

Alice was staring out into the woods while we checked the surrounding area. I was nervous- not for myself and only a little bit for my family- but say Victoria crossed the treaty line. . . would the wolves be able to protect Davina?

I liked to think so, especially after they'd discovered about Sam, Davina, and. . . Embry being connected by the same father.

"Are you sure this is where you saw her?" I asked Alice.

Jasper stepped closer to Alice who said, "She's almost here."

Everything stayed silent. I didn't even hear any animals, much less a vampire rushing through. But we were counting on Alice for that part if we didn't catch it.

"On your left!" Alice shouted.

I turned, running as fast as I could towards my left. This was near the werewolf territory, near the treaty line. That was most definitely worrisome.

I was gaining on Victoria, but Emmett got closest. He reached out for her, not breaking speed, grabbing down on her shoulder until she flipped him over it and he crashed into the nearest tree, tumbling to the ground.

I sped up, trying to gain on her. I had to kill her- Lord and I both agreed on that- for Davina's sake. And for Bella's too.

And then, we neared the treaty line and she jumped, landing on the wolves territory. We skidded to a stop. "Wait. She's on their territory now." I said, holding out my arm. I knew she wouldn't go in deep, and we could track her from across our border.

And then the worst thing imaginable happened. A voice- a human one- was carried upstream.

"Wow Seth! That was a good one!"

It was Davina's voice.

Victoria's head snapped up, lips curling back into a grin, and she took off running. We ran parallel to her and I had to hope that Davina was on our side of the treaty line or else I was going to break the treaty.

"She'll get away!" Esme shouted.

And that was when two wolves hopped down. They were the larger ones, the older ones and I knew they cared about Davina greatly.

"NO SHE WON'T!" Jasper and Lord roared together.

We didn't see Davina or the boy she was hanging out with for a long time. She jumped back to our side, far ahead of us, to avoid the wolves snapping at her feet. That was when the soccer ball came out of nowhere, almost hitting Victoria in the face.

Victoria snatched it out of the air- I couldn't see her face.

"SETH LOOK OUT!" Davina screamed and then I saw her go flying through the air, the soccer ball to her stomach. I leaped, away from Victoria and everyone, as Davina plunged into the water, after her.

Davina P.O.V.

Seth had kicked the ball high and I laughed as it disappeared into the forest.

"Well damn," Seth said, crossing over to my side. I gave him a warning look which he ignored. "We're going to have to-"

And then he froze, "Vampire."

"Well, duh." I chuckled, ruffling his fur. "The Cullens-"

And then the redheaded blur came towards us, holding our soccer ball tightly in her hands. She flung it with vampire speed.

"SETH LOOK OUT!" I screamed, pushing Seth into the trees, catching the soccer ball in my chest.

The breath was knocked out of me, and the force that the soccer ball hit me in the stomach sent me flying off my feet. I had definitely broken a rib or two. I flailed around before I hit the water.

The cold water shocked my body, making me inhale the water, I tried coughing, but as I was underwater, all I did was succeed in getting more water into my lungs. I thrashed around, trying to break surface, panicking.

Something else hit the water, I could hear it. Something else had entered the water. Something smooth so it definitely wasn't a werewolf.

Victoria.

Of course, I doubted Carlisle would let her get close to me. I hadn't thought there would be a problem along the treaty line? Especially not out here. . . but maybe out here was exactly where a problem would have been.

My vision started to go black and fuzzy as two hard arms pulled me closer to their body, erupting out of the water. I tried to inhale the air, but I couldn't.

I was flung onto the rocky ground, hard hands pressing against my chest, hard lips on mine, trying to get me to breathe.

"Come on Davina." Carlisle begged.

"Mom!" Seth's voice was frantic and I felt a warm hand on my arm.

"What happened?" Sam's voice roared across the river.

I could hear growling from a wolf and Emmett. "Paul, back down." Sam ordered.

"Emmett, come back here." Alice's voice said, laced with worry.

Had Emmett tried getting across the treaty line? Where was Victoria?

Water trickled from my mouth and I gasped, starting to cough. I spit the water out of my mouth, sitting up.

"Ow." I said, gingerly putting a hand to my stomach.

"You've got a broken rib." Carlisle said, his golden eyes laced with worry but also professionalism. "We can get you back to the house and I'll wrap it up."

"Are you okay?" Seth asked, his eyes round with worry, shaking but only slightly.

I reached out, ruffling his hair. "I'm alright. You okay?"

"Perfectly fine. I could've taken her."

I chuckled, "I'm sure you could've. Speaking of which, is she dead?"

I looked from my vampire family, to Sam, Jared, Paul, and Embry.

"Well. . . no." Carlisle said, looking between the wolves- specifically Paul- and Emmett.

I got to my feet gingerly. "What do you mean no?"

Carlisle sighed, "Emmett tried leaping the boundary line to go after her. One of the wolves stopped him. The two of them bickered instead of going after her. She's gone."

"It's not my fault." Emmett muttered.

I stood there for a second, looking from Emmett to Paul, and then I said angrily, "Are you kidding me?"

All the vampires quickly backed away from me and I knew why. If I got angry, there was a chance I transformed, and none of them wanted to be to close when I did that. Seth on the other hand, stepped closer, and Carlisle wouldn't step to far away from me.

I turned to Paul, "Emmett wouldn't have magically turned from hunting Victoria to hunting La Push residents! And you-" I turned to Emmett and gave him an annoyed look, "-you knew where the treaty line was. You shouldn't have tried crossing the river."

"Sorry Mama bear." Emmett muttered.

"Sorry mom." Paul muttered.

I sighed, turning to Alice. My anger was completely burnt out and Carlisle wrapped his arms around me loosely, not wanting to hurt me, "When is the next chance she's coming back?"

Alice made that head movement like 'I don't know.'

I sighed, "Alright, Carlisle, take me home."

I didn't even get to say good-bye to the other wolves as Carlisle was already running through the forest back towards the house.

He yanked the door open, bringing me to his study, settling me down on the long, soft couch he had in here.

"Well today was very fun." I muttered, trying to sit up, but he kept a hand on my upper chest, forcing to me to continue to lay back.

He pushed my shirt up so that only my stomach was exposed. He grabbed the bandages, feeling deftly along my ribs, noting when I winced.

"It's just the lower one." He sighed, finally allowing me to sit up so that he could wrap it tightly. When he was done, he sat down on the couch and carefully pulled me onto his lap, my back flush against him. "That. . . don't do that to me ever again."

I chuckled, "Don't worry. I don't plan on being near Victoria ever again. I hadn't planned on it today either."

He shuddered, holding me closer. "I should've sent you to Florida with Bella and Edward."

I snuggled into his chest, ignoring the pain in my ribs. "No thanks. I'd rather be here with you."

He sighed, "Me too."

I turned around completely so I was facing him. He lowered his head slightly, bringing our lips together. I wrapped my arms around Carlisle head while he wrapped his under my shoulder blades, pulling me closer.

My fingers delved in his hair, ruining is normal wavy hairstyle, and when we broke away from the kiss- so I could breathe- I ruffled his hair to make it messy. He grumbled lightly, but didn't try to fix it.

I chuckled lightly.

"Do I look like that Elijah guy now?" He asked, raising his eyebrows which made me giggle.

"Maybe a little. But you know I love you the best." I said, holding his stone cold yet smooth face in my hands. "Oh, and you should know that Alice plans on having us married in two weeks."

Carlisle sighed, "If only it could be sooner."

I chuckled. "If only."

"You're letting Alice plan the whole wedding?"

I was silent for a moment. "I told her to invite only people in Forks. I think Marcel likes me and I don't want to hurt him. I definitely don't want to invite Joshua. And I told her that every wolf was invited along with the council elders. Oh and that you could invite the Denali clan if she wanted. And. . . I told her to send an invitation to the Volturi so they knew. I thought that might stop them from coming."

"I see." Carlisle said, his arms tightening just slightly. "You should invite Marcel. Jasper read his emotions and doesn't believe he read any emotions of lust or love. Not that kind of love anyways, though he cares for you like a little sister."

"Well that's good. I'll let Alice know." I murmured.

"Are you staying the night?" Carlisle murmured, brushing black curls back from my face.

I smiled up at him, "Sure. Why not?"

He leaned down to kiss me again.

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everythingsinred · 1 year ago

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Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Mikan (pt. 40)

Hey! I played Just Dance with Zoe and then decided I was just gonna post this last part because I don't want it hanging over me. It's July and I just exercised and it's really friggin' hot and I'm sweating but I'm gonna post this so I don't forget tomorrow.

That's right, folks! Just one more part in the forty part essay special by yours truly about everyone's favorite shoujo manga couple (I speak for everyone on the planet, yes)!

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Kageki no Kuni no Alice Chapter Four

Kageki is a step-up from the last few chapters because… well, because I get to pretend like those chapters just didn’t happen. There’s a lot I don’t like about Kageki, but I like the NatsuMikan, which there is a fair amount of! And that’s what I’ll be discussing today. Hopefully that’ll lighten the mood from last time. Though! I don't have much new to say that I didn't already say in Natsume's version. I'll do my best so we can end on a high note!

Natsume and Mikan are at the Opera School in order to visit Aoi, because they do everything together. But Natsume is also being ridiculously cold to one of Aoi’s classmates, Tsubasa’s sister, for no real reason. So Mikan and Aoi both scold him for being mean. Mikan apologizes for Natsume’s sake and we get a glimpse of the fact that they both have matching promise rings.

RINGS!!!! They're gonna get married!!!

This is pretty big because as far as we know, Mikan just got back to the Academy a few weeks ago, and only part of her memories were recovered, but somehow in that time, her romance with Natsume has rekindled enough that she once more wants to get married to him… though this rekindling occurred off-page. Sigh.

This chapter is presented in a strange way, jumping around in time, starting with a confrontation and then rewinding. I think it’s to introduce Natsume and Mikan right away for fans so they keep reading, but it makes things jumbled up. Natsume is as handsome and popular as ever, and quickly gets the attention of the Opera Troupe girls, but this excitement is dampened by Mikan’s enthusiastic arrival because oh dang he’s taken.

That's right!

Mikan is excited to meet Hikari, because she loves Tsubasa, and it’s funny to see her speaking for herself and Natsume (because they are an item!), much to his chagrin, loudly proclaiming their joint appreciation for Tsubasa’s care. What I like about that is that Mikan and Natsume are a unit at this point, which is what makes her feel comfortable speaking for his feelings in the first place. “I” becomes “we.”

Hikari grabs onto this, that Mikan knows Tsubasa, and tries to get more information out of her. Mikan is affected by pretty faces, as we know, and Hikari is beautiful (or handsome? Since she’s characterized by a sense of masculinity in this story but honestly I've never read this manga in its entirety so I wouldn't really know), so she gets overwhelmed and Natsume ultimately ruins the mood again by stressing to Hikari that her brother wants her to leave.

I'm so delighted we can get back to NM content that makes me feel something!

Mikan scolds him for being harsh, though he claims he’s just not interested in sugarcoating. Hikari gets depressed and Mikan is again affected, though Natsume doesn’t like that. Then Thoma arrives, and the atmosphere between him and Natsume tenses, which spurs Mikan to ask what their relationship is. It could be simple curiosity or actual jealousy, whichever. If it is jealousy, then it’s interesting to note that the both of them are a little possessive of the other. Mikan certainly doesn’t seem to mind being monopolized by Natsume, but this could suggest she’s monopolizing him too.

Natsume starts to leave and Mikan rushes after him. That makes me think that she could have been feeling jealousy, but mostly that she is just as intent on spending as much time together as he is. He can’t leave without her when she came to spend time with him!

They are a married couple, even if they're not married yet.

When they leave, they’re joined by Narumi, who calls Natsume kind and thus gives Mikan a new impression of what he was doing with Hikari. It’s hard to tell with Natsume, honestly, because his kindness and cruelty all look the same. When Natsume confronts Naru by asking if Hikari was dragged into the school for Thoma’s sake, Naru denies it. Then he brings up the manipulative action of scouting Mikan for the Academy, leading to their meeting and falling in love. He turns to Mikan and asks if she thinks that was a mistake, coming to the Academy and meeting everyone.

It's refreshing to go back to "everyone" again, to remember the sheer number of people Mikan loves. Her alice stone was created by the thoughts of many loved ones, after all, not just Natsume, not just Hotaru. There is not just one name written on her heart.

She must no longer hide behind everyone or we... She can initiate affection like this. Isn't that amazing?

She grabs Natsume’s hand and says “Not at all!” looking him straight in the eyes, so he knows she’s telling him, “How could I regret something that brought me to you?” This makes it personal. Yes, she's happy to have met everyone else and they are all dear, but reassuring Natsume means letting him know how much he specifically matters to her. She trusts Narumi because she’s sure he has good intentions. After all, with everything that happened on her side of things, Narumi seems to have only been helpful. This is also a callback to Narumi requesting that Mikan have faith in him, despite his recent betrayal with the letters. Mikan chose to trust him then and never stopped. Natsume seems to cave, because he's weak when it comes to her, but he admonishes Naru for being manipulative.

Natsume then tells Mikan not to hang around Naru or Hikari anymore, just a little taste of what Natsume monopolizing Mikan looks like. He obviously knows that Mikan will not listen to that, but it’s his way of communicating that he dislikes Naru manipulating her or the way she behaved around Hikari. Mikan just says “huh?” though, so his message might not have gone through the way he liked.

Chapter Five

There’s not much I can analyze in Kageki that I didn’t already mention in Natsume’s version because they spend literally all their time together. On top of that, we get little of their perspectives, and mainly see them through Hikari’s eyes. So if this is short or minimal… oops.

Hikari is being stalked and bullied by Bear, and Natsume gets annoyed that she’s not angrier with him. This is a plot thing, but I always think of Mikan and how much I love her rage and how Higuchi ultimately drained her of all of it for the sake of being a smiley girl who makes everyone happy even to her own detriment. To me, he might be saying these words to Hikari, but he’s talking to Mikan too.

We're not just talking about Hikari, are we?

Mikan and Natsume are here as loving parents to pick Bear up from school, and Mikan is more focused on gathering Bear while Natsume is scolding Hikari. When Hikari’s cousin arrives to defend her, claiming that Hikari is just incredibly disciplined with her feelings, Natsume counters that she’s really just repressing them. (SOUNDS LIKE MIKAN!) I don’t think Natsume would be as adamant about this if it didn’t connect to Mikan. Maybe this is something they talk about, or something that will soon become a conversation. In any case, Mikan doesn’t seem to take any of what he’s saying personally, so maybe it’s not getting through to her.

In any case, Natsume goes a little overboard insulting Thoma, who instantly dismisses him by telling him to go home, which he does, but not before setting a fire that Mikan rushes to put out. After that, Mikan rushes after him. Because she has to be wherever he is. It's not just Natsume monopolizing her. It goes both ways.

There’s a big to-do about Hikari and Bear and anger and acting and Tsubasa, which I won’t get into mainly because I don’t really care. All that matters is Natsume using a non-burning fire and Mikan being impressed at the control he has over his alice. Like, "Wow, my boyfriend is so cool!"

Chapter 5.5 Omake

This omake takes place after Natsume was ordered to go home, so he and Mikan are doing just that, hand in hand. Where he goes, she goes, and vice versa. A clingy couple.

GSHDFJHJKFGHKJDFJFHJFFJFGHSJFGDSHJFHAGSHK Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk.

Mikan asks what’s up with Natsume’s behavior with Thoma and Narumi pops out of the blue to explain that Natsume took her absence hard and that he strayed from the right path. Mikan is happy to see Naru; Natsume isn’t. All typical. But Mikan is confused because if Natsume skipped grades, shouldn’t that mean he was a good student and worked hard? And Naru says yes, that he did work hard, but by going on missions (THAT’S A CRIME NARUMI). Mikan is instantly concerned, because she watched him die once before and doesn’t ever want to experience that loss again, so Narumi assures her that none of the missions were at all physically taxing. That doesn’t eliminate her concern, though, until Natsume messes with her a little.

In any case, Natsume re-enrolled as a high schooler when Mikan returned, so he could capitalize on her new presence. Mikan is excited to see Shiki and Narumi again when they appear, and they offer to show her Natsume’s middle school pics which she is excited to see until Natsume pulls her away, greedily. This chapter further teases Mikan and Natsume's rings, their inevitable wedding. Additionally, we see that there's some conversations yet to be had, particularly about what Natsume has been up to without her. She obviously wants to have these discussions, since she asks questions and then is so eager to see his middle school pictures, but it seems like Natsume is content now to completely leave that era in the past now that he has his girlfriend back.

Chapter Six

Mikan and the SA class are getting ready for the Culture Fest. Natsume complains about the Opera School students coming to visit the Academy campus during such a busy time, but he’s not really doing anything, so it feels unfair for him to say.

Mikan doesn’t seem to mind that she’s being followed by a leech, and she teases him. She doesn't need him to help. He's just there so they can be together, and if he doesn't contribute anything, then that's fine too, as long as he's around. But the teasing never ends, because they wouldn't be NatsuMikan without it. This is crucial, because their bickering was never a cover-up for anything like it sometimes is for other bickering couples. For them, the bickering was always a relief. For Natsume, he could act immature and childish with someone when he’d been forced into a far more adult role in his life. For Mikan, it’s a way for her to cheer up when she’s feeling down, because bickering with him makes them both happy. The fact that they’re now officially a couple doesn’t eliminate the bickering, it just eliminates the pretense about it.

I'm sniffling...

Chapter 11.5 Omake

This is an outtake chapter surrounding Hikari searching for inspiration for her acting in a kiss scene. Tsubasa can’t help her for some reason, even though he’s in a relationship (inexplicably, his relationship is described as “new,” even though he and Misaki have been dating for like five years at this point). Thus, she must look elsewhere for romantic inspiration. And where better than Natsume and Mikan out and eating floating soft serve ice cream together?

She gets the ice cream all over her face and, since there’s nobody around, he licks it off her. She seems to find that silly and cute and laughs as he does so, though she is blushing. Will Mikan ever stop blushing around Natsume though? I don’t think so. It��s nice though that their affection is so reciprocal now. She doesn’t even freak out, really, which implies that there’s more intimacy to this extent happening away from the reader’s prying eyes.

This was given to us because Higuchi felt bad about what she made us go through with the wretched final chapters. I appreciate the apology, actually, but I think we all agree we could use some more apologies of this nature.

They’re interrupted and it’s only then that Mikan freaks out, embarrassed to be seen doing something so weird. Very interesting! Maybe they'll work up to PDA status later. Nobody likes a voyeur, which is what the others are right now, but getting spied on while you're kissing is a little different than typical PDA. Who knows!

Conclusion

This is my last NM conclusion as far as I know now. How cute they are in this little spin-off manga! It lifts my spirits. Hopefully, seeing them all cutesy lifted your spirits too.

Anyway, friends, I'm genuinely remorseful that the last few parts of this essay were so negative and bitter. I'm usually not one to linger on those parts of GA. My mind is firmly rooted in various AU endings so I tend to be pretty chill about my feelings, but when I have to specifically address everything, it all comes to the surface and I get a little bitter. I'm really sorry it had to be that way.

In any case, despite the bitterness towards the end, writing this essay was genuinely a blast for me. It was nice to put my feelings about this manga into words.

I started writing this essay on April 12, 2015 (which means I was sixteen at the time). I always knew the exact order I'd write this essay in, because my main motivation in analyzing GA was to present my thesis about Mikan genuinely being in love with Natsume. Back then, I'd seen one too many tumblr posts about Mikan being "obligated" to be with Natsume because he was dying or because of comphet or because Natsume scared her or silly things like that and it pissed me off. Additionally, I was bombarded with people calling Mikan a Mary Sue or disregarding her character. I remember seeing posts like that in the dark ages and thinking, "Did these people even read the manga? Do they even pay attention to Mikan?"

I'd see those posts and roll my eyes. I'd read a grossly OOC Mikan in a fic and sigh exasperatedly. I'd see people disparaging her and I'd disapprove. I'd know deep down that Mikan does love Natsume and that she's much more than people are leading on. I knew they were wrong, but I more or less left it at that.

But then I'd ask myself what exactly it was that they were missing and I'd have to confront the fact that I was thinking based on vibes and "just because" and there's no evidence in that. Was I paying much attention to her either? So one day, probably in between ranting to Zoe, I opened up a Google Doc and decided I'd do the hard work and analyze the whole fucking manga to prove my point. Besides, there was no real analysis for NM out there, so I'd take one for the team and do it. But it wasn't enough to analyze NM. There's too much going on there to leave it to one essay.

After all, most people think of anime scenes when they think of the earlier chapters, and that's not accurate, so I'd have to distinguish between the anime and the manga. But it's not enough to simply distinguish! The anime contains scenes worth discussing, since NM is pretty different there. Thus, the essay had to be divided between manga and anime. But that wasn't enough, either, because analyzing Natsume and Mikan's feelings in one essay was sure to give me a headache, which means this project had to be three parts, and Mikan had to be last. She always had to be last, my grand finale to prove that she was no Mary Sue, that her love for Natsume was built up from the beginning, and that she had depth and growth that should be appreciated.

It is now July 27, 2023 at around 11 PM. I'm now finished.

Altogether, across all three essays, I wrote about 243,240 words about NatsuMikan. Hundreds of pages in my Google Docs. This would be a huge book. And if anyone out there read all of it? You're a damn trooper. I appreciate you so much.

To all my readers, the ones who stuck with me from the beginning, or the ones who find it long after I press post on this last one, the ones who read each word, or the ones who skimmed to the analysis of their favorite scenes, I thank you. To everyone who left a comment, I thank you. To everyone who reached out to tell me their thoughts, I thank you. To @crimsoncitrus for helping me out with plenty of the translations throughout this process, thank you! To @thesightofworms, for being my favorite person to rant to about GA, I very much thank you. And to Higuchi Tachibana, I thank you. I do have beef with some of your choices, but creating manga is no small feat and you wrote 180 chapters for us to consume and I am beyond grateful that you have created something so enduring and important to me, something I have never been able to move on from.

I have loved GA since I was twelve years old and I show no signs of stopping. This is just one labor of love of many to come. I'll never shut up about this manga. Today I finish a very long project that I've had on my mind since I was a teenager. Tomorrow I'll pursue another. I can't imagine I'll ever stop coming up with projects for GA. :)

Took me long enough, but we're done now! I love you all. Have a wonderful day <3

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ct-multifandom · 2 years ago

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Minisodes oh my lawd

I haven’t posted yttd since Kai’s island route came out, but wow that was some shit I just saw. I wanna talk about my thoughts. I’ll go in order of increasing sadness and rambling.

!!! spoiler warning !!!

Anzu

The least lore-heavy story maybe? It was cute, and I liked to see more of her since she’s one of the most minor characters in the playable cast, but I feel like there wasn’t a lot of deep stuff in this one.

Her school uniform is cute but seeing her de-clown-ified and normal is strange. It’s like when Nankidai draws Gin without the fursuit

I saw other people point this out as well, but it’s weird that Ryuu’s coworker got a full sprite while Anzu’s girlfriend was just a silhouette. Is the woman relevant somehow? mean if she and Samurai Yaiba can get sprites then why not the friend? Maybe it’s comparable to us never having seen Ryoko’s face in outside content or any part of her at all in the game itself, but Ryoko’s situation makes me suspicious. Does this mean something or is it irrelevant?

That bit about Kugie buying all the ice cream was a surprise. I wonder if it will be relevant to Kanna’s story, like she got her a ridiculous supply of ice cream to cheer her up when she was sad or something. Also confirmation that Kanna and Anzu lived in the same town. Did the cast all live near each other or is it just them?

I see people upset that Anzu found a guy hot but like. Her color scheme is the pansexual pride flag

I saw mention that she said she made her costume herself in the game, but the minisode says that it was a gift from Ryuu. Maybe he gave her part of it and she made the rest, or that she modified an old costume herself to be more her style? More likely that Nankidai just forgot tbh

The plaza where she became a clown is the one Midori was in last chapter, but we haven’t had a chance to be there in peace. I guess it’s just another memory location, but it’s interesting that it’s the setting for some very climactic scenes while the others aren’t. Of course, we haven’t seen every character’s room yet.

I feel like there’s something we’ve yet to learn about Anzu because at the moment she just feels like a wholesome, kinda incompetent comic relief character, and this game does not have those. Why is the survival rate of the girl who complains about extracurriculars being too much work so high? Is she such a positive force that people can’t help but keep her around? She dies immediately two separate times in the game and frankly doesn’t help with anything during puzzles. Is she secretly a good manipulator? She’s a self proclaimed good actor and learned slight of hand tricks and such from Ryuu. Does she have another side to her? If not for the logic route, we wouldn’t have known what Ranmaru is capable of, but according to the minisode, the way Anzu acts in the game is the same as how she acted to the people around her normally.

Alice

Why can’t we have nice things??? It was so cute and so heartbreaking at the same time. Like, if this was a scene in a linear, chronological story, we’d still have the hope and maybe expectation that Alice will still fix things with Reko, but we know that from this moment on he screws up literally every chance he can get until it’s too late. The good ending we want so bad is pretty much impossible.

The kid sprites are so cute. We already saw them in that one CG but seeing them as sprites makes them feel more alive, y’know

When Alice referred to himself by name and Reko was like I already know your name… this one’s going in my transgender compilation

Them having a secret treehouse fort is so baby

And I love the Samurai Yaiba designs. Looking camp right in the eye. Idc if people think it’s ugly, the girls who get it get it

It was nice to finally meet the other band members. I wasn’t expecting to ever see them have real screen time but hey. Although Stronghold turned out to be a creepy weirdo and Ursheen is nonverbal or mute or something?

I’m excited to see island routes for these two. Idk if their events together will be deep or anticlimactically goofy. I imagine Reko’s “good” ending will involve starting a band or something, but what would Alice’s be? Does he have his own ambitions? Imagine if it was the other way around, if managing a band or teaching music to beginners was his passion

It’s interesting that almost every account of this plot line is from Alice’s perspective, which makes sense because it has a much stronger emotional effect on him than on Reko who thinks she has more important things to worry about and overlooks Alice. I would like to see more of her take, though, because her whole situation seems to be deeply un-relatable to him. Did she prioritize her success with the conscious awareness that she’s hurting his feelings, or is she just so career-focused that she didn’t even think it’d affect him?

Lastly, I’m intrigued by fandom reaction to Reko’s behavior. People rightly find her to be complex and compelling, but they also just like her and seem to forgive or understand her. I often find that when a character, especially a woman, does something like this, people hold it against them pretty harshly. Yet Reko is widely loved and may even have more fans than Alice? Is it because we know she becomes a better person later on and starts to mend their relationship? As a member of the liked-Qtaro-before-it-was-cool-and-everyone-else-hated-him club I’m curious about the standards people hold flawed characters to. Is it because Reko has that badass punk rock pretty privilege, or does her story just resonate with people?

Kai

Oooohhhh my god dude. This one. Shitting and crying. Kai was allowed to be happy for five seconds ever.

Seeing Sei was a jumpscare

Seeing young Gashu was an even bigger jumpscare. Y’know how when a guy shaves, all you can see is the real estate where a mustache is supposed to be?

I can’t BELIEVE this shit made him somehow sympathetic. These sideplots have made every villainous character from previous chapters have a sympathetic side what the hell. We haven’t seen the full extent of Miley’s story yet, just little hints, which is exciting to me, obviously Safalin is grey all over, and Ranger was programmed to be the way he was, but Gashu?! Clearly he still sucks, but HRNNGGHR what’s next? Does Midori have a sympathetic side?

Gashu making brief, absolutely pathetic attempts at treating his kids as people with feelings between training sessions. These moments of empathy being seen as a failing on Asunaro’s end that had to be beaten out. Gashu not fully understanding what they were planning and turning himself into a total emotionless monster after he found out to protect himself for what was coming. He probably thought he was doing Ranger a favor by making him the way he did.

Sei’s whole thing re-contextualized Rio Ranger so grossly. People are upset that Kai didn’t live to meet him, but I’m kinda glad he didn’t have to see how his father desecrated his brother’s personality and image post-mortem.

Hated seeing the light leave their eyes after the visit from Asunaro lady

Speaking of her, huh? She looks way too unique to be a silhouette character? All the other ones were generic looking normal people but she looks like Miss dori. My theory is that the hair was the only part that mattered, that that hairstyle is a symbol of the figure the organization sees as “god” and its higher members perhaps try to emulate it, Midori included.

We got some more explicit information on the religious cult side of Asunaro. We already knew Gashu had these beliefs, but the other floormasters didn’t. We have hints that Miley and Safalin are actually exceptions, caring more about their scientific research and personal agendas than whatever the organization’s true beliefs and agendas might be.

Kai trauma-dumping on Mr Chidouin made me uncomfortable. It feels like Kai will trust anyone who’s nice to him, and is surprisingly optimistic or even naïve considering everything he went through. We don’t know what Mr C’s goals are, but man. He has the same poses as Meister. Come on. I hate the way he had that fake ass smile plastered on while Kai spilled his heart out. It seems like Kai never learned how to trust or distrust people, and both those things played a part in his downfall.

That Euphoria Rue Happy Moments compilation on YouTube that’s only one minute long except it’s Kai

I like how Sei really did have that bitchy, unserious personality Ranger ended up with, except he also had ~feelings~. I would have liked to see how his brash sense of humor plays of Kai’s bizarre one.

Does involvement with Asunaro immediately require you to upload your consciousness to their central computer or something? Where else would Gashu get the AI of a long dead kid for Ranger? I doubt he understood him well enough to have him replicated from scratch, fucked up liberties and all.

Sei being older than Kai surprised me. How old do you guys think they were? Like 12 and 15 maybe? I have seen many fans in the past interpret Ranger as being an adult, but I always saw him as a kid/teenager. I guess a big part of it is his trauma-induced immaturity (and probably literally having the mind of a child), but he looks young to me too. He doesn’t look too much older than Sei, and his body appears strangely un-athletic looking for someone who underwent rigorous assassin training, thought he does look taller. Maybe 18-ish?

The whole murder island thing felt so impractical and unnecessarily sadistic but then again everything the organization does is like that. Also can’t believe Kai won the hunger games by doing nothing what a legend

I know Sei’s death wouldn’t have had nearly the same effect without CGs, but this minisode being the only one with extra art like that made it feel way bigger than the other two

The way Sei was capable of breaking down in tears and loving and being terrified but still had it in him to kill others, and be casual about it too

Kai growing up still wearing that same type of uniform every day symbolizing how he could never escape Asunaro’s grasp even when he tried running, ignoring it, covering it up with his apron which represents his individuality. Ranger wearing that black t-shirt and little yellow scarf representing him being freed from Asunaro’s expectations, not in a way that granted him autonomy, but rather that it gave them the OK to empty out everything that made him him and using him as a brief, disposable tool, represented by him stealing pieces of all the other humans who were similarly used and killed by Asunaro for himself.

What would Kai dress like if he could pick out his own clothes?

I would love an afterlife scene with these two like the one Nao and Mishima got

Or the normal version of a Sei AI in YTTS

Man getting to know Sei really changed my whole perspective of Ranger and I’m glad he and Kai not only knew each other in life but also formed a close bond. That for a brief period they both had somebody they could trust

Edit addition: omg how both of them became completely aware that they were going to die with no way out of it, and didn’t accept it per se, quite the opposite actually, but their final wishes were to at least not die at the hands of the enemy who doomed them

Can you tell this one was my fav? Yeah uh. Fuck. Anyway I love how Nankidai manages to keep everyone relevant as have us learn more about them so long and so consistently after their deaths. Nobody is just there for a plot device or shock value, they all have their own stories that don’t end when they’re gone. Can’t wait for more

#yttd #your turn to die #kimi ga shine #kgs #yttd minisodes #yttd minisode spoilers #anzu kinashi #alice yabusame #reko yabusame #kai satou #sei satou #rio ranger #gashu satou #long post #yttd spoilers #your turn to die spoilers #kimi ga shine spoilers

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alaffy · 1 year ago

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Riverdale 7x20 - Goodbye, Riverdale (Spoilers)

Jesus, this was depressing. After seven years, Riverdale comes to an end. And I can absolutely guarantee that nobody ever expected it to end like this. That being said, while this is not the ending I would have chosen, I also can't say I dislike this ending. We watched these character going through year after year of hell and the fact that most of them have a good life and there is a happy-ish ending to this...well, I'm content with it. Riverdale, for me, probably will be the first four seasons, but I don't hate this ending.

Anyway, we start with an Eight Six year old Betty who's learned Jughead has passed away. Betty is now the last of the gang to survive. Betty wants to visit Riverdale one last time and her granddaughter promises to take her there the next day. That night Betty is visited by Angel/Writer Jughead who takes her back to the last day of high school so she can see her friends one last time. During these moments we find out what happened to all of the characters. And I'm just going to go through this real quick.

Ms. Andrews will fall in love with a woman who will live in the with Ms. Andrews until she passes away. Polly will end up having her twins (Juniper and Dagwood). Alice will eventually divorce Hal (I think, my cable screwed up and I missed part of this), become a flight attendant, and marry someone else.

During junior year of high school, Fangs records a hit single and is able to convince Midge's parents to let him marry her. Their happiness is short lived as, not long after high school, Fangs goes out on tour and is killed in a bus accident. Midge and her daughter will live off the royalties of Fang's two songs (right).

Pop's apparently dies before the kids graduate high school. That's the grave Betty is visiting. The writers clearly are choosing violence here.

Clay and Kevin move to Harlem together. Clay becomes a professor at Columbia (I think) and Kevin opens his own off Broadway production. Kevin will die of old age in his sleep and Clay will pass away a few weeks later sitting on a park bench.

Cheryl and Toni move west and live a more bohemian life. They have a son named Dale (after Riverdale). They will live a long and happy life together.

Reggie will go on to play basketball for the Lakers and then become the coach at Riverdale High. He has two sons who will run the Mantle used car lot. Reggie was buried in Duck Creek.

As for the core four, well they all decide during senior year to all just date each other. Yup. Well, maybe, as we never see anything happen between Archie and Jughead. After high school....

Veronica moves back to LA and becomes a big movie mogul. I don't think it's directly said, but it seems like she was the first of the four to go. I does seem like Betty, at least, looses touch with her over time.

I'm not going to go into the last Barchie scene. While I didn't particularly like that couple, what the writers did in that scene was nothing short of sadistic to those fans. But one could argue that same was done to Bughead and Varchie fans in season four. Anyway, Archie will go out west and find a woman that he decides to settle down with. He lives a long, good life with her and, when he dies, he's buried next to his father.

Jughead will create Jughead's Madhouse Magazine (Mad Magazine) and had a successful life as a writer/editor. He never marries.

Betty also creates her own magazine. (And late '60s/early '70s Betty's look is my favorite Betty look). Betty never married, but she did adopt a daughter. Which she considers her legacy, her family.

Anyway, Angel/Writer Jughead takes Betty back to the present. The next day, Betty's granddaughter takes her to Riverdale. As they pull into Pop's parking lot, the building is for sale, she discovers Betty has died.

But then young Betty steps out of a car as she has been transported to an functioning Pop's Restaurant. Jason is at the door (yep, the actor is back). And everyone is there (well, of the cast that still worked on the show). And as the story ends, Betty joins the other three at the table and in the Hereafter.

Like I said, not the way I imaged the show would ever end. Not the way I would have ended it. Still, it was a very bitter sweet ending. I shed some tears and, yeah, part of me is sad to see it end.

Of course, that part of me will soon be knocked unconscious by my sanity....

#riverdale #riverdale spoilers #betty cooper #veronica lodge #jughead jones #archie andrews #cheryl blossom #toni topaz #kevin keller #fangs fogerty #clay walker

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mintytealfox · 1 year ago

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Hellooooo, its me again uwu.

A bring more Nortalice/Alicenort content! This time its AU releated stuff! Hope that is alright

-Modern AU, they are like Shaun and Ryan from Buzzfeed Unsolved with a mix of Nancy Drew and Scooby Doo thrown in. Lots of hijinks and breaking into restricted and or forbidden areas. Sometimes they are actually solving cases, other times they broke into a gas station left to rot from the 1980s because Alice swears she saw something in there and it results with Norton rushing Alice to the doctors because she ate expired Cosmic Brownies. Not like Norton will complain, because him and Alice agreed on 50/50 on the money that comes from the cases and beats working his dead end job.

-Fantasy AU, Norton is the king of the demon realm, and Alice is the queen of Paradis (the one seen in LG and Orpheus's essences). Their kingdoms have tension with each other. Orpheus the Novelist urges war while Nightmare (yes they are two separate people). Alice however is like "Nah, imma talk to the king" and goes to the demon realm, so the two can work on some sort of peace treaty. Nonsense ensues and the two slowly fall in love, it ending with Norton asking for Alice's hang in marriage, which at first she thinks its so their kingdoms dont fight and his response being "...no you dumbass i love you. Thats why im asking to marry me"

Oletus Manor Doesnt Happen AU, aka what if Norton and Alice never went to the manor but still met each other. Can imagine its because Alice is doing a report on Golden Caves, what happened, why it shut down and interviews Norton, the only survivor from the accident. The two just seem to click and neither know why. Norton at the start tries to use this to his own personal gain, since in his state, he knows damn good and well, he will not be able to get a job again, forcing him in poverty so he tries to butter up Alice, get close to her in the hopes maybe he can marry into money. Alice also tries to use this connection to her advantage, hoping Norton's ties to the mining industry can give her access to more secretive information (like how they treat their workers). They do end up falling love properly though, and Alice uses the money from her family to help push Norton out of poverty and help him start a small jewelry business with the only catch being "Before you even dare spend a penny on clothes or luxurious things, I want you to spend the money I give you to go see a doctor in the chance to save yourself. I care too much about you Norton". Which in turn breaks Norton, but like a good break, like a "Holy fuck, she really does love/care about me, this wasn't an act, i wasnt dumb to let her into my life"

HELLO 🫡You're always welcome!! 🤣 AU stuff is ABSOLUTELY ALRIGHT 👏👏👏

LOOOL I saw Shane and Ryan and 80s and my brain went STRANGER THINGS LOL Like it starts as Norton: 'lol ghost hunting, those aren't real at least these people are paying' while Alice: 'ghost hunting, can you imagine the stories ghosts could tell if they could speak easily?? How thrilling!' But it turns into running for their lives LOL followed by eating expired cosmic brownies like nothing happened but they are all covered in dirt and grime and trauma LOL

OH F A N T A S Y A U S are ALWAYS BANGERS IN MY EYES AAAAHHH YEESS! Gives me strong Persephone and Hades vibes and that has me SO HYPE OH MY GOOOSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! AND This reminds me of the theory I saw who knows where by this point lol but it was about the one Alice skin 'Eternity' and FG's skin 'Infernal Sin' and it went something like him being the dragon of the apocalypse to deal out the punishments that Eternity laid out. Something like that, I wish I could remember it cause it was dope as hell LOL

IF THEY MET WITHOUT THE MANOR AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

10000000% using each other until Alice falls first and Norton falls HARDER MUAHHAHAHA Recently my brain keeps going to the quote from 'Our Flag Means Death' and they say "you wear nice things well" and just seeing Alice saying that to Norton when he finally gets to get all dressed up for something and him like 'oh woah' but the magic fading pretty quick at the realization, 'this is not comfy at all' and then waiting until at the gathering to say something out of pocket like "I feel like I have a pickaxe shoved all the way, right up my--" -Alice slams her hand over his mouth- 🤣🤣🤣

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rainbowr0ses · 7 months ago

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Okay part 2 of the protocol journey, idk why I’ve decided to do this, but I’m continuing until I reach the end or run out of motivation.

This is what I do instead of sleeping (silly… for the most part) if any of this sounds like- off-? Or more unhinged than I usually am? Blame it on my time zone

(This is after-watching Roses, this episode does talk about serious topics, so I recommend checking the content warnings before listening!)

oh hi Jonny! You’re starting the episode this time?

Oh hi Alex! Jonny usually does this part, doesn’t he?

Spooky intro!

Oh that’s a spooky title, knowing the tma/tmp series that is

The SFX my beloved <3

Dracula-? Hi-?

This categorizing system is so silly to me-

Hahahah she got it wrong!

I love the sounds- it’s so different from the tape recorders

This is gwen right? Cause Alice’s voice is deeper.

I was right! The voices so far are easy to differentiate

Or maybe I’m just better at it

Damn Gwen

Alice is so real for that. I say that on a daily basis-

Oh- new scene!

Oh that’s funky

Zoom-?

THERAPY?????

I- that voice- I recognize this voice

Oh I know that tone from therapists. Mmmm

Whoever you are kinda mystery lady, you are right

Okay, that’s a good way to speak

Patience!!

Fair-

I should not have laughed at the “deep trauma that your itching to unpack”as much as I did-

We love our artists. All forms of artists, but in this case we’re talking about a visual artist

Wtf

I’m sorry- is #makeupfree An actual hashtag-? (I don’t use a majority of social media, because you know (: )

Good for you? Feeling more comfy in your own skin?

That’s not a good silence, I know that silence. That’s the thinking silence that means your brain is producing thoughts that aren’t good. Those thoughts are treated respectfully, and those that have them are welcomed in the household, but not the thoughts themself. (Guys I promise I’ve studied psychology-) I paused the episode for this

Continuing!

Daria! Such a pretty name

Ah, makeover is a good term

Oh? Tattoo time?

A generic witchy-alchemist character-? I wanna know who cause that’s so silly. Oh wait it’s generic, would it even be a specific character?

Ah so this is the ink5oul thing

I swear I saw ink5oul x bonzo somewhere. Or maybe it was needle?

Oh?

Pfft-

I can see this tbh (I’ve never watched ink5oul-)

Oh-? I love tattoos like that

Does ink5oul actually exist-?

Icky

I love when people are so spooky and use they/them pronouns

Omg

Diversity wins! The tattoo artist who is also an influencer that is causing you excruciating pain is referred to with they/them pronouns!

I unpaused the episode at wasp stings- flash backs to the Jane prentiss statement (🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱)

Heartbeat noise!

Oh passing out from pain is such a trope

Not the mediocre dubstep-

Oh that’s so aesthetic!!

Tbh I wouldn’t complain if that was my tattoo

yeah go get your eeps Daria!

I have no idea how you spell Daria’s name-

Oh yay!! She’s having a good time! I can’t wait for it to be ruined

Oh here It goes

Ah-

Mmh

I see where this is going

I- oh dear-

WHAT DO YOU MEAN-??

THE FUCK??

oh goodness not “perfect”

I-

I’m speechless

I’m-

Oh fucking dear

I. The wording of this is- AAAAAAAAAAAA

This is going to go so so so so so so wrong

YEAH, SHE BETTER SCREAM WHAT THE FUCK

Oh? Valid?

You see, this is what a therapist should do.

Valid point, valid point, from the lady who tried to remake herself into something perfect by carving it out on a painting.

That’s a normal painter people thing probably-

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT LAST LINE-

oh clicking buttons

Alice. Okay Alice and Tim share the same vocal slot in my brain now

That’s so fair actually Alice-

“Paid to not care” I can make so many Political jokes rn-

Camera time!

Echo-y

Alice and Gwen interaction!!

I-???

What kind of question?

Oh government stuff

Fucking Alice- I love you so much

Gwen is my favorite

I think I like Bouchard characters-

Elias, and not Gwen-

I love one sided conversations, but only when I can understand what’s being said though, but I can get the gist from Alice

Oh she went silent-

Click click click

I love band names-

THE MAGNUS INSTITUTE??

???????

MY INSTITUTE??

I mean. 👀

The computer must be so disappointed

The aggressive beat after its so- quiet? Always jumpscared me (I’ve heard it twice)

Woooo credits!! We love crediting people!!

#I have no idea what I’m doing #I think I’m silly #So you get thoughts #This is a grim episode #needle mention #insect mention #swearing cw #the magnus protocol #tmp podcast #possible #tmp spoilers #tmp #tmagp #I think that’s good enough tagging #Oh wait #cw caps #for those that need it #It isn’t the majority but there are some bolded in caps sentences.

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regulus-needs-swimminglessons · 7 months ago

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Heya people, yes I am alive and here to celebrate the new Magnus Protocol episode (Ep 12 "Getting off") with my life reaction. So like always, spoilers ahead:

First of all what sort of Titel is that??? Jonny, Alex...do I even wanna know what the episode is about?? Welp let's get into it

Sam...baby...darling...honey... I saw that with all the love in my heart...for fucks sake you gotta stop being such a simp

Don't get me wrong I love Sam even when he makes stupid decisions and I'm happy he got a date and all but god damn it have some confidence dude.

Jack? Another one? The same one from the last episode? You can never tell with Jonny can you? Is Jack going to be the new Michael? Maybe

Good lord another report of Mr bonzo

I'm going to have this stupid song stuck in my head for the next week ;-; 'Mr. Bonzo's on his way, he wants to stay he wants to play "

Okay but like he gotta be part of the Stranger right? I was kinda considering Spiral too but now... that's definitely Stranger material right there

...damn...just yoink of someone's arm I guess lol

The lord yeeth and Bonzo yoinketh way

And there goes the head too, damn okay you go off king lol

Annnd they are trying to fight -_- I get the mental stress that they must be under but like he's already dead guys, it's time to *ruuun*

That's disgusting I'm so here for it lol

Okay so Bonzo is filled with some kind of fluid and rancid meat...but that's still Stranger potential right?

Damn Martin, sorry Noris, you don't have to sound so judgemental, a...mascot... Gotta eat alright, and they could have ran, but no they stayed and now they get munched

Homeboy just stood there and watched lol, should have ran too

Welp at leat he survived

Dude is just mad he can't bartend anymore because his hand got munched and he is so real for that lol

I love Alice so much <3

Gwen is so horrified, like fair but also baby you wanted to be in this...what ever it is...

Honestly probs to her she's asking questions... probably won't do her much good but she tries

Okay Gwen we're getting close to the Tim mentality and that's danger, don't want you to blow up too ;-;

Alice, love, I know you know more and I need you to tell meeeee

Welp that was a fun episode... can't say I'm a big Bonzo fan but I can see the appeal

I need more Colin content, I miss my husband ;-;

Hope y'all are having a good time

Bye

#the magnus protocol #the magnus archives #random thoughts #rambings #Jake won't stop yapping about the Magnus Protocol

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shortnotsweet · 1 year ago

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your arts are beautiful! and also, your writing talent is extraordinary! do you have plans to write for any ships on hotd next year? (rhanicent, lucemond, aegond, jacegan or new characters? :)

AHEJFHFOEO I LOVE YOU THANK YOU

That's so nice of you to say, I'm extremely flattered you've enjoyed my stuff!! Currently I have a few outlines, although I'll admit that I haven't been as engaged in Lucemond and I was a few months ago (mostly bc I've gotten busy, and other fandoms/ships have taken up my attention, mostly CoD + Mortal Kombat). To my memory, in the the roster of unfinished Lucemond outlines there was a Hades-Persephone AU, the High School She's All That AU but formatted as an actual story for ao3, and a Lucerys/Dalton shipwrecked one? I think?? I've got no concrete plans tho and no idea if/when I'll get to them. I've got the Miracle Wife up on ao3 rn, and for the near-future that'll probably be my only Lucemond fic for quite a while.

I've been reading a bit of Jacegan recently tho and it's got me feeling a kinda way tho? Currenly reading Hermit by Garmr on ao3. I suspect that upon season 2's release, there'll be a good uptick in content for those two, so I'm keeping an eye on it.

I've got a lot of Rhaenicent art planned at least!! Maybe I'll get into writing for them if I end up including blurbs + the art and I get carried away, we'll see. We definitely need more content for them, and in my mind I write many essays for them bc they just occupy my head. They are sooo in love, they hate each other they resent each other they want to be each other, the timeline is Bad because they are not together, etc. and the way that the show has adapted their relationship to smt wholly different from the books was, in my own opinion, something soooo interesting and at least worth exploring, regardless of iffy-execution. They are the real love story of the show, their foundation is the catalyst for what comes next. Alicent is so great, she is so miserable and hypocritical and she's a victim and a perpetrator all at once. Rhaenyra is perpetually misunderstood, she is girl and warrior and mother and queen and a martyr while also the biggest chasm in so many people's lives. she is forgotten and misconstrued but never erased. they are womanhood, in the context of wealthy white women. i want to draw her in a million outfits. ugh i cannot stop thinking of her.

I hope you continue to enjoy future content, it really means a lot to me. Thank you so much!

Much love <3

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sleeby-anon · 1 year ago

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So I don’t know if what I feel is actual attraction. I may find someone, objectively, attractive, and think about it, but I don’t feel any of the telltale signs of a crush: no sweating, nervousness, elation, idk idk whatever they say a crush is supposed to be. It’s like I get the beginnings of a crush, but it never goes deeper than that. (I mean, I do stutter and get nervous, but that’s the social anxiety I do it with everyone). I can’t imagine myself doing anything romantic with any real people I meet. I do simp for fictional characters, though. heavily.

I remember having “crushes” as a child but I can no longer remember if it was actual attraction. My parents used to say that NO child has crushes, that it’s all a platonic fascination. Can’t have crushes before puberty, that was their idea.

I feel like there’s no real way of answering this without a professional I just wanted to know if this situation feels familiar.

the constant struggle of is it aspec????????? Or is it social anxiety???????

Hmmm, that is a tricky one. I can describe my experience with all of that and see if that helps anon.

When I was like 6/7 years old and people were discovering their crushes, I worried I was falling behind the curve. So I examined my first grade classroom and picked out a boy who was smart, funny, and not too bad on the eyes. (I claimed he was my one and only crush for 6 years without ever acting on it. If you don’t act on it—that probs a sign)

And yeah he was fun to hang around, we talked about Star Wars and minecraft and he showed me his world on pocket edition (back when nether reactors were still a thing)

But at the same time, if I really thought about it—being romantic with him—in real life—the answer was always like: “…I’ll pass actually.”

And while younger kids might say they have crushes —it might be because it’s them trying to figure out feelings and shit—but I can’t tell you if little kids actually get crushes or not.

When I was older I found people that were aesthetically pleasing to look at but their personalities were always kinda “meh.” So I wrote it off as “bland personality”

When I tried going out with a cute and sweet girl I had met—any time I thought about being romantic with her my stomach was nauseous and the inside of my skin felt like sandpaper rubbing against the rest of me. The only thing that seemed to soothe me was that we could be friends first—that’s normal for relationships right?

And I have anxiety—I know what that is like. And it took me a bit to recognize that my anxiety was coming from my identity as aroace—not because it was an irrational fear of getting close to people. (which I also have) it takes a bit of digging to uncover the source of why you are uncomfortable in that situation. Some questions that helped me get to the source were stuff like:

Is it moving too fast? Why does it feel like it’s moving too fast?

We have been talking for months now—why does thinking about them in that context make me uncomfortable?

What would be a reasonable timeline before I would feel comfortable dating? (For most normal circumstances If the answer is any longer then like 6 months is a sign)

And I simp for fictional characters too—(literally look at the amount of shit I write for characters based on one specific content creator I like) but I know that if I were ever actually in the positions with the situations I write about and fantasize in front of me? The way I would be uncomfortable is insane.

If you can’t imagine doing romantic stuff with people then I think that is a pretty good sign you may be on the spectrum.

Take life as it comes anon, and if you still don’t feel sure, I’d recommend finding other aroace a and learning from their experiences.

The sources I can recommend to you are Jaiden Animations (on YouTube) she has a whole video going in-depth about being aroace

I also would recommend getting your hands on Loveless by Alice Oseman (the creator of heartstopper) I cried while reading it it’s such a good explanation and experience of Aromanticsm.

Hope this helps lovely. Wishing you all the support and not-love your way 💚💚

#sleeby anon #aromantic support #aromantic #aromantic talks

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