turb0pussy

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can you guys watch my squab for me im gonna go on my smoko

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I like how this one is glowing like a powerful magic tome

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People who think sheep are killed for their wool are so hilarious to me. Does your barber slit your throat whenever you get a haircut?? Are you a returning customer to Sweeney Todd? Lmao it grows back, fools.

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if u have a geriatric entitled ass family member who stares down baristas who are just trying to do their job please put those bitches in a wood chipper

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im so normal

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Inverted ballpoint pen drawing!! The first picture is what I drew and the second picture is the inverted final piece

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Can you say something about fat people that doesn’t involve the phrase “tummy squish” or any variants thereof. Quickly

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squeezing my pussy and concentrating all the microplastics in my body to print a perfect tiny figurine of a fruit bat

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They killed jimmy carter to hide the secret of the elves

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they should invent 7 hours between 10pm and midnight

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The squirterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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you ever have situations that make you want to take people by the shoulders and go "you are not 15 any longer. this behavior is no longer quirky and cute. it is exhausting for you and everyone else to act like a teenager you haven't been in a decade or longer. knock it the fuck off"

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it's important to me that people know the original "he would not fucking say that" was in response to a tiktok where someone said eric cartman would thank you for asking for his pronouns. Like it just doesn't hit the same without context.

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Accidentally bought my cat cantrip instead of catnip and now she’s casting eldritch blast at me from the overlook of her cat tree while demanding wet food only

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