#friend lashed out at him because she was scared while i sort of stopped talking as much because i was scared but. he still talked to me lots

[mechanicalbowtye]

read the scratch upd8. little too close to home

[mitsybubbles]

Age swap Serizawa and Tome edit

Plus some ideas I wrote about it below after talking at lenght about it with @acekindaneat

Tome runs spirits and such but keeping herself at a small distance because she’s terrified of sharing with other people and being dismissed so it’s a way of doing things “herself” but she’s not a psychic even though she wants to be and she needs People. Because of this she’s a little more interested in pursuing urban legends cases, haunting cases, or mysteries and tends to be disappointed if there is a normal explanation for it

Serizawa is a former shut in who was coaxed out by Tome after his mom hired her (since she claimed to be a psychic consultant) and is currently “training” him in his abilities. He just moved to a new middle school and is very anxious about being a member of society and fitting in without losing control again

Reigen is a year below Serizawa at their school and acts like a normal student during class hours and is well liked but not close to anyone but after hours he spends his time trying to “become someone of note” because he feels isolated by the norms of society. He keeps getting obsessed with and switching hobbies every other week. His current one when the story starts is private investigation. His sister is a year above Serizawa and is a top student

Mob is a NEET in who hid himself away after his powers caused several accidents and fractured his relationship with his younger brother. He only leaves to get amenities and he relies on his parents support or on a work at home job for money

Dimple is a new spirit who doesn’t know what his place in the world is yet. He doesn’t have a human form or memories but he still has human desires and impulses so he feels out of place in it.

-Serizawa finds Reigen researching into the LOL cult after he joined it hoping to make some friends and they both get sucked into the supernatural conspiracy behind it. Reigen realizes Seri is a psychic and decides he’s now into the occult and demands his boss hire him and drags him to Tome’s office

- Tome meeting adult Mezato and then coming to blows ala Reigen and Roshuuto because Tome is annoyed that Mezato is seeking out the occult “because she’s bored”

-Serizawa being cajoled by Toichirou to join his little gang and Serizawa actually enjoying it and seeing claw as his friends even tho he felt guilty about hurting other gang members but “it’s okay because Master Kurata says it’s okay to protect yourself from bad people right?” Also he was given the umbrella as a gift and Tome and Reigen notices how much Seri’s been using it and Tone mostly goes “huh you’re skills are coming along ig” because while shes supportive she also isn’t very attentive and Reigen’s more suspicious because seirzawa is spending less time with him. Due to being scared that his first real friend would leave him, Reigen is a little threatened by that so he lashes on seri. They argue and seri stops hanging with reigen. Then reigen feels bad and decides to apologize and gets caught by Toichi + co in a small hazing ritual to get seri to stop comparing himself as the same level as “commoners” by denouncing his friendship with a nonesper. So then they fight when seri refuses to and finally seri insists that he doesn’t have to be stronger or weaker than anyone else to get to have proper connections and he breaks the umbrella saving Reigen from crossfire

And then later Reigen feels bad about everything (and he also realizes Toichirou was right that he was only friends with seri because he was an esper) so he gives seri some pokemon cards playing it off by saying he had those laying around his room and gets thrown off when Seri is openly emotional about it and hugs him. Meanwhile Toichirou is reevaluating everything because everyone sort of ditched him after he wasn’t giving them smth in return (except Hatori sort of lol- Hatori likes his presence Enough and the StuCo leader Joseph who was trying to get him suspended)

Minegeshi is like 20 here and runs a flower shop that the kids hang out in. It’s probably destroyed now. Sorry my dude.

-Reigen wanting to search for the dragger after his sister tells him he can’t keep “goofing around” otherwise his parents will force him to settle on an proper interest

-Some kids hiring Tome to find a “ghost” that lives on their street and it ended up being Mob who refuses to interact with them in a meaningful way. Seri makes it his mission to help him. Serizawa wants to ‘prove’ hes better now by helping someone like him but then he and Mob make a connection and Serizawa understands that he has to let Mob accept himself and make that step himself.

Also Tome shows Mob the benefits of releasing one’s emotions in a safe space.

-Reigen and Mob meet at the office and really hit it off

-Teru hiring the gang to come exercise a spirit in his TV studio and he and Mob end up fighting because he thought he was the best esper ever, you know the deal. And meanwhile Tome and the kids deal with the spirit of Mogami who was a psychic child star that haunted Teru and possessed Minori because he’s jaded by people who lie and use others to get notoriety

-Roshuuto is like a wannabe popular kid that annoys the hell out of Reigen because he pretends to be people’s friends and dumps them for someone better and now he’s trying to do occult stuff for clout

-Hoshida is an exorcist without any powers that we know of but he’s really nice and genuinely cares about helping others. He’s one of Tome’s informants

-Separation arc where Tome closed spirits and such briefly after Serizawa leaves to “be a normal kid” for a while because she thinks she won’t find anything meaningful about the paranormal she was searching for because she’s only humoring people- it ends up with her meeting people from middle and highschool she fell out of touch with because of simmilar things and her realizing she should continue to do whatever she loves and she should also pay more attention to the kid who she genuinely cares for and vice versa even if he isn’t going along with her whims 24/7

-Mob trying to reconnect with Ritsu

-Confession arc where Serizawa injures his mother in an incident after he thought he was doing “better” so he runs away and has to confront his own powers- and Tome having to come to an understanding with him too

[cdd-swag-bracket]

Mikoto Kayano from MILGRAM-DID (canon)

"UAGHHJH…. mikoto is canonically a DID system!!!! he has an alter named John who killed somebody once BUT LIKE THAT ASIDE he’s so cool guys. they are the system ever. he also has an alter named midokoto and guys you Need to understand. they’re SO good. they’re so toxic but they’re learning and they have so much potential. Mikoto refused to accept that he was a system for the first season/trial of MILGRAM and tbh dont we all! and in the second season he realized and guys… .,..,…. in the second MV John sings 'I’ve got you, leave it to me!' and it’s SO protector-coded….. PLEAASSEEEEE MIKOTO HES SO GOOD"

Additional

"Just wanna add some more stuff to Mikoto Kayano’s description. And apologies in advance for this being a bit too long

To be clear, Mido doesn’t actually exist and is a fanon character originating from an older theory. Currently we only know of Mikoto and John in the system. It’s also very unclear who is the actual killer but I’ll elaborate on that more. And in Milgram everyone’s a killer so he’s not the only case here.

I really love Mikoto and John and their story so much.

Mikoto is the host alter and the one considered as the prisoner 009. He’s a people pleaser who obsessed with being normal and acceptable to people. He doesn’t inherently understand social concepts and relationships and tries to force himself into such. His whole social attitude is him deliberately acting that way so people can accept him. He’d do anything to please other people even if it makes him uncomfortable. And this habit is breaking him down on the inside along with being stuck in an abusive job.

His obsession with being normal makes him hate John which is really sad. He feels that having DID would make him weird and crazy and completely erase any sort of efforts he made to be normal and socially acceptable and have him be ostracised by everyone, which is sadly the truth in this current world. Because of this he’s scared of John and projects all his sufferings onto him, that he’s deliberately trying to ruin his life and do all these horrible things just for the sake of it. He even blamed John for attacking Mahiru even though it’s extremely obvious that it was Kotoko who did it. Mikoto saw her as a friend even though she really wasn’t and doesn’t want to believe that she did it so he blamed it on John.

I think Mikoto might’ve actually known he was a system for a while as lots of the lyrics in his first trial song, MeMe, seem to imply this. He wants to know why John is like this and is scared of him. And he’s lying to himself and desperately trying to convince himself that it’s not true. Even acting clueless when Es bought it up despite having attempted to talk to John beforehand.

Now for John, he is the protector alter and isn’t considered to be the prisoner. I absolutely love John so much. He’s obsessed with protecting Mikoto to the point he’s ruining his life, just like Mikoto’s obsession with being normal. He’s extremely paranoid of other people, and believes them all to be out to hurt Mikoto. Because of this, he lashed out and acts violently around them to make himself seem more threatening as for them to not go near Mikoto. This is in direct contrast with Mikoto’s behaviour of wanting to be friends with everyone which John is trying to stop as he’s scared for his safety under the belief that other people are dangerous. Even though he’s trying to protect Mikoto from this he’s actually making things worse for him as this is heavily stressing out Mikoto who’s biggest fear is social rejection and could stop someone reaching out to help him. And John knows this. He’s questioning if he’s truly Mikoto’s saviour and has started to believe that he’s ruined his life, for if only he was never born. But his paranoid mindset is inherently rooted into him so he can’t stop behaving this way.

John’s entire identity revolves around him being Mikoto’s protector, so for this it feels to him as his entire duty in life he had failed. His entire life is focused on Mikoto and he believes he can’t be his own person with hopes and dreams because that’d be getting in the way. He also demonised his DID and believes he can’t be a proper person because of that, and believes his condition is what’s making him violent even though it’s truly not, and just has a strong sense of fight or flight.

For his whole life John has never been treated as a person and never treated himself as such, so when in his second trial voice drama, Neoplasm, when Es wasn’t immediately scared of him when John fronted and started threatening Es, he backed down. This was the first time he wasn’t treated as a monster and because of that he dropped his persona and started to reveal his true self. John is a more stoic and rational person and was confused when Es actually accepted him instead of fearing him. It definitely seems he’s been trying to make an effort not to get angry and violent on an impulse as when he got upset and started yelling at Es, he calmed down and started breathing, and tried to talk in a more calm matter. But because of this he said how he wished he had stayed a monster.

And about the whole murder situation. John desperately tries to convince Es that he’s the killer, claiming he just killed a bunch of random people who annoyed him although this statement is very contradictory. When Es started to get suspicious of his statement John immediately doubled down and tried to convince them that Mikoto is weak and innocent and could never hurt anyone and was basically yelling at Es that Mikoto is completely innocent and that he is the murderer.

Even though the story deliberately makes it unclear who did it this behaviour seems to me as John trying to take the blame for Mikoto, as he wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to him because of that. It’s just a theory and it’s a long one but I believe that Mikoto is the killer, and the trauma from the incident along with his denial coping mechanisms lead him to repress the memory. And in the first trial when Es bought up the idea that he may have repressed the memory he started having a panic attack which caused John to switch in.

I really love how Milgram is treating DID with respect in Mikoto’s story and how the murder wasn’t because of his condition, but the result of the situation he was in and all the trauma he was going through, a murder which anyone could commit. There’s also a time where it was implied that they were co conscious in the second trial interrogation questions where at one time the handwriting started changing a lot and becoming more shaky in a style that didn’t fit either Mikoto or John’s regular handwriting. And there was one answer which heavily implied he was disassociating while writing. Mikoto’s story is one that’s easily misunderstood and may initially lead people to believe that Mikoto is the poor victim and John the evil perpetrator. But it makes a lot more sense when you realise that that’s their perspectives and is influencing the narrative. Ah- I might’ve gone on for too long about this I’m just really normal about them ok."

[corvuscore]

SMILE! :D

This isn't exactly a review, I just needed to talk my feelings through for a while.

If the mashups haven't made it clear, Porter Robinson is an artist that means more to me than I can put into words. Nurture is my favorite album in history for innumerable reasons. The profound, almost religious experience I had the night Nurture dropped was unlike anything I've ever experienced with a piece of music. So despite all of that, I knew I had to measure my expectations for tonight so I wouldn't be disappointed.

And I'm not. Not at all.

SMILE! :D was another hard pivot from the past, just like Nurture before it, but not without some guiding lines shared from Nurture. Where Nurture was a meditative, wise sage disseminating words of wisdom and encouragement to those who needed it, SMILE! :D is a frustrated scene girl with a lot on her mind who vents her negativity out through loud noises and dancing. She's under constant pressure, trapped in a world that doesn't know how to feel anymore, until she makes something beautiful and suddenly everyone won't leave her alone about it, contributing to another layer of pressure. She gets mad quickly and lashes out at people she loves and has to have those awkward conversations where she has to ask for a forgiveness she hasn't earned. She's had moments in the past where she's stared into the unforgiving face of time and accepted that it will wash her and everything she loves away, but that doesn't mean it won't stop scaring her, because accepting what you can't change doesn't take away all of its power over you.

To put it quite simply, SMILE! :D is... me.

Nurture was something I needed to hear when at my lowest, and it continues to provide me comfort and pull me out of low points to this day. But SMILE! :D, despite how extremely personal to Porter it is, has also found a way to worm itself into an unspeakable part of my heart - a darker, more spiteful part, who knows all those same sage words that Nurture has provided, and doesn't give a fuck because one too many things pissed me off today. The part of me that wants to be left alone even when I try to make new friends, that has that short fuse never given time to grow back no matter who is supporting me, that knows the end is coming and still just can't let it end. As much as we want out, it's not the way for us, and the reasons for both of those conflicting feelings are at the same time both selfish and selfless. And yes, the part of me that looks at this expression of one man's heart and the most fucked up parts of it in such a beautiful, colorful sonic tapestry, and makes it about me, me, me.

But in my defense, Porter did make it about me at the very end. His last note to me, to you, and to anyone else fortunate enough to have seen him perform or connect to his heart through a song, was a thankful one - those moments when we get to stay in that song with him mean "Everything To Me", he says. Having attended the Nurture tour myself (shoutout to the opener James Ivy, a credited producer on SMILE, who you should absolutely be listening to when you're done with it), I feel so incredibly fortunate that my moment quite literally crying in the club, on the phone with my husband while Porter played his loving ode to his now-wife, is a moment that meant something to Porter too, even when he doesn't even know about it. And as I truly let the weight of SMILE! :D set in for me, what hit hardest was the final track's conclusion to the thread of "addressing complicated feelings toward having any sort of fanbase at all" - gratitude for supporting him, sharing his art and emotional release with him, and admitting that no matter what, the love that we share for our respective total stranger on the other side of it is real, in its own way. And with the way my life has turned in the past couple years, I've had a (very very miniscule in comparison) taste of that feeling myself.

So, yes, overall my experience with SMILE! :D was very positive, as expected. But what I didn't expect was that he truly was in the mirror - I saw so much more of me in this project than his previous work. Not inconsolably emotional this time, but maybe it just hasn't really hit me yet. Regardless - thank you Porter, as always, for giving us so much more than we deserve of your heart and soul. More than anything, I hope that you are able to truly smile.

[wellfell]

 mikasa had the quietness of a girl who's never had a parent to tell her it was okay to speak up , and well , akina was as bold as a girl whose father had always forced her to be quiet because quiet girls are always lovelier ; you shouldn't have anything to say when adults are talking . killing titans had changed akina , even punching people had changed her . she's seen the destruction her rage could leave behind and it was thrilling to think that osamu had to be scared of it because his rage only scared ones beneath him . ��� you're not going to be the top of the class when i break your nose tomorrow . ❜  she mumbles with a roll of her eyes . and a smile .

   either way , she's feeling sorry for mikasa’s parents .

 eren on the other hand — a dilemma , needed a philosophy of his own recklessness and suicidal behavior . akina watches his sharp smile widen on his young face , she stares a little longer because his face twists in something unexpectedly rougher . he has big eyes , long lashes around it and she had giggled at annie’s soulless comparison ; ‘ if you covered his mouth he'd look like a girl . ‘ he's younger than most boys in the camp , he doesn't smile because akina thinks he's too distracted by everything and everyone around him to smile . jean has a long chin and sharp cheekbones , small eyes , reiner looked like he could lift a fallen tree if he tried . and eren . . . eren looked like something wicked . she could think of a few words to explain his features and none of them would really suit it – trouble , lightning , lava , even the ocean if she was being too poetic .

 ❛ i have a sister too . her name is anita . ❜  akina's voice softens almost comically at the mention of her sister , she even smiles . though when he mentions the possibility of her getting scared , she easily punches his arm with a scoff . his punishment stops there when she slips her hand out of his grasp to open the old door .

 it's quiet in here , empty , nature had grown into the space inside the desolation of the building . it wasn't haunted , but it felt haunted and she was loving every second of it . she's ahead of him by two steps , checking every inch of where they're walking at , to find some sort of proof . the only ghosts that existed around here were their dead friends in their dreams , akina doesn't look back at him but reaches back to curl her cold fingers around his wrist again . not pulling him along , just holding onto his wrist for whatever reason she wasn't even sure of .

  to protect him or herself ? his chance of survival if anything was to happen , is ten times bolder than hers . but akina isn't holding his wrist to protect herself because she feels like she'll jump blindly into danger if anything was to happen to him — the world needs him , he's a treasure , she's just a spoiled brat from wall sina . ❛ . . . i always think that ghosts don't know they're ghosts . like – what if we're ghosts ? ❜  a useless attempt to start a conversation when silence felt peaceful with eren too . ❛ look ! ❜  an old doll , forgotten under the rubble which akina has discovered and already kneeling to grab .

 she sits on her knees , stares at the doll for a while and ; ❛ i will name it clementine . ❜

When he'd first seen Mikasa, he hadn't cared for her much beyond her presence as another human being. It wasn't a mean kind of disinterest. He cared for her the way he would anybody else, he doesn't want to go out there and die the way Jean always suggests, he wants to clean the outside up so everyone around him can experience the joys Armin taught him exist out there.

He does care.

But Mikasa had been... a girl. Because he'd been just a boy - never just a boy, though, what 'just boy' kills with such ease - just a kid, just lightly more kid than he is now, and a lot more kid than he's allowed to be now.

One thing, though, had stood out: her face. Her features. He'd never mentioned it, because his brain had settled around it easily after a while, whatever, right? And then he'd met Akina, and the thought had come back, how she'd only been the second person with those features he'd ever seen.

Comparing the two came to him on accident... but most likely inevitably.

He'd been just a kid.

Now, though, in hindsight, comparing the two had only lent itself to reaching the conclusion that they couldn't be farther away from the other. Where Mikasa was fast, strong, and unstoppable, as well as a suffocating weight on his chest he can't quite describe as such yet because he has so little left beyond her and Armin, Akina is...

Well... she reminds him more of Jean than Mikasa, that's for sure. And at the same time, they're not anything alike either. And at the very same time... Akina is like no one he's ever met before.

Maybe that's why he doesn't mind her fingers wrapped around his wrist, or playing along with something he genuinely doesn't believe in - a world with titans didn't need ghosts on top of it. It was easy to be drawn to her, it was easy to be curious why someone who can be so sharp and mean can be pushed as easily as well, why she held a gaze that wouldn't make him step on her toes, but she's the only one who let Ymir have an actual effect on her.

"Yes," because just a girl and just a boy and just two kids and just a few years of being siblings at all, but Mikasa was the only family he had left. The way he couldn't imagine Armin as anything but a friend, as someone stable and constant in his life, the same way removing that title from Mikasa no matter how late she gained it would feel... wrong.

"We took her in after her parents died," he also oversimplifies because he never regrets it, but he also never thinks about the circumstances either, about what he understands, about what he's done, about his parents, his parents-

His eyes are large enough to warrant the word 'pretty' above the sharpness other boys his age are developing, Reiner's broadness, Bertholdt's towering height, but his smile always has a bit of sharpness to make up for it, something cocky and gentle at the same time, uniquely his.

"I wouldn't let you; in case you forgot, I'm still top of class in hand to hand, that didn't just happen overnight," it's playful, and it's easier, and maybe he is? Just a kid? Just two teenagers and the goofiness of ghosts? He nudges his arm into hers and twists his wrist in her grip, reaches around for her hand to instead wrap his fingers around hers and begin dragging her along.

It actually did kind of happen overnight. Both his bothering with hand-to-hand, and his gaining a sister unlike Akina.

"Don't you have any siblings?" an assessing, appreciating glance at her weapon. Maybe he's too well-trained for violence already. Maybe 'child soldier' isn't a concept here, it's just 'soldier'.

And whatever he is.

The smile turns awry.

"I won't turn just like that, don't worry," he'd rather just forget for a moment, if he thinks about it, he'll go back. He'll slip away, lose her fingers, go back to wanting to do more, guilty that he can do what he can do and isn't doing it right now, a perfect weapon, searching for ghosts, wasting time.

The smile turns into a grin.

"I don't get scared that easily. Sounds more like you might."

[shotorozu]

encountering a ‘pick me’ girl

character(s) : kirishima eijirou, todoroki shouto, bakugou katsuki (bnha)

warning : PICK ME GIRL, misogyny (?) pick me girl makes an off handed comment about your body but it’s not detailed at all

PART TWO — PART THREE

legend : [Y/N = your name] afab! reader, but they/them pronouns used, quirk not mentioned

headcanon type : fluff, angst if you squint

note(s) : i made 2 versions of this post so,, if you’re reading this— then i probably decided that i liked this one more than the other one i made,, anyways, i used real life examples 💀

»»————-　♡���————-««

kirishima eijirou

i’d imagine that eijirou would have an idea of what a pick me girl is— i mean, there were probably 2 of those girls in middle school

but has he experienced it first hand? nahh.

though, eijirou didn’t think he’d encounter one when he was already in a healthy and committed relationship!

eijirou is practically friends with everyone— and yeah, even the most unexpected. so, he’s bound to accidentally befriend a pick me girl

him, being the nicest one out of all of the characters in this list, will still be nice to said pick me girl, despite wanting to snob them to the core

because really— you can’t really fight fire with fire in some cases

but, he can be everything but lenient when the pick me girl starts insulting you for doing certain things, and for absurd reasons too

like,, how you laugh, and how you take care of yourself (for example— if you wear makeup, or how you style your hair)

which is odd! everything about you is everything but the things the pick me girl has stated so.. he cannot stand by.

SCENARIO

the girl giggles to herself after that snide comment leaves her lip gloss coated lips. eijirou shifts uncomfortably— honestly taken aback by the anything but subtle insult that was thrown at you

“like.. seriously! it’s honestly quite superficial if you look at it like that. who the hell would put that much effort infront of your boyfriend? i’d assume they’d see everything AND everything but.. i guess not.”

you blink. superficial? now that’s a new one. the girl infront of you has been babbling insults sugarcoated in boasts the entire time, and you’re just wondering if it’s about time you guys leave but—

“well that’s unfair,” your boyfriend laughs, “i put the same amount of effort as this cutie right here,” eijirou pokes at your cheek, earning a quick laugh from you— which he can only thank the heavens for that

“but that’s different. it actually looks put together when you’re doing it, eiji.” the certain glint in her smile makes you want to wipe it right off with a dirty mop, “it’s impossible to look put together with expensive clothes, but being built like a—”

the sound of the sliding of a chair is quicker than your actions, and it easily cuts her off.

“i’m sorry, but we gotta go, it’s totally not cool of you to say those things about Y/N!”

“what? but i mean.. it’s true, right? i’m looking out for them! they’re literally out here l—”

“bye!” eijirou waves her goodbye with your hand, dismissing the sour expression on her face— as he dashes off with you

you’d question how he’s just so nice to people like that, but when he turns around, you could see the distaste in his eyes

“so that’s what a pick me girl’s like,” shaking his head, his expression lights up with such a quick manner “i’ll never make friends that are like that again!”

safe to say, eijirou’s friend list has been a a person shorter ever since that incident

bakugou katsuki

oh, so that girl’s bold bold.

if she thinks she could get away with being a not so subtle pick me girl infront of bakugou katsuki, then she couldn’t be more wrong.

it’s absolutely revolting— i mean, he hasn’t displayed any romantic feelings towards ANYONE that isn’t you.

also, they’re quite gutsy if you ask me. so congrats for having guts??

i don’t think he’d be friends with a pick me girl. he’s very selective of who he’s befriending, so it’s probably your friend that’s the pick me girl in this case

he wouldn’t know what a pick me girl would be, but he’d probably know the description of one.

over some time, he’d grow some resistance to insults directed at him, but when someone insults his s/o

oh boy. that’s not good. remember when i said that katsuki was almost like your scary and intimidating dog

this is what i mean

knows he can’t make a scene, so his first option is to be dismissive asf— but if said pick me girl literally can’t get it, he won’t be afraid of shoving some explosions into her face

because his hands are rated e for everyone

SCENARIO

“so you wanna be picked or something, is that it?” he hates how you literally have the resistance of a rock— which is something he always liked, but in this case hated. if it weren’t for you— he would’ve blasted explosions into her sorry excuse of a face until it’s beyond recognition (that wouldn’t be hero like, is what you’ve said in the past, but he disagrees.)

but seriously? ugh. he just wants to leave this horrid place, and make some dinner with you in the comfort of his home. why are you even friends with her anyway? she’s not even trying to be slick at this point.

“p-picked? i’m not understanding, katsu.”

“it’s bakugou.”

“right,” her laughter is like nails on chalkboard, “i’m just watching out for Y/N, y’know? there’s no point in wearing all of that.. on their face.” and she’s obviously referring to your obviously very well done makeup

“it’ll make your skin terrible in the long run! and really— i couldn’t really understand on why someone would wear that much, when you could survive with i dunno.. lip gloss at most?”

you would’ve actually said something as a rebuttal, but your boyfriend is quicker, and a lot more direct than anyone else in the area.

“just say you can’t do makeup and fucking scram,” katsuki’s ice cold glare finally breaks out of the act he’s been trying to hold together for you

“their makeup is fucking bomb as hell, compared to your ridiculous spider lashes, lady. come back when you’ve watched james charles’ entire fucking channel.” he harshly states in similar bakugou fashion, despite the lack of screaming.

and if you squinted hard enough, you could see tears welling up in her eyes. but katsuki tugs your hand before anything else could be said

“let’s fucking go, you need better friends.”

he makes you cut ties with all of them, and he practically scolds your terrible choice of friends— but he goes quiet when you tell him that you’ve been friends with her since middle school

“good fucking riddance. next time, i’ll punch them as soon as they say something outta line, got that?” and next time (hopefully, there won’t be a next time) you’ll actually lash out— or maybe,, you’ll let him loose for once.

todoroki shouto

now shouto might be,, socially unaware sometimes. but he can tell whenever someone’s trying to insult his s/o

like,, right away.

now— you both run into this person after a pleasant date, and she eagerly presented herself as your friend

so, her attitude catches him off guard because who’d have anything rude to say about you and towards shouto’s face? especially when it’s about something normal.

like,, wasn’t she your friend?? why is she even like this?

his hostility is very well known, so they should be scared.

he gets detached from the conversation, and he’ll immediately go cold— and shouto would probably go as far as walking away with your hand in his

doesn’t matter if he properly says goodbye or not— if a girl’s being rude to his s/o, they obviously don’t deserve his usually polite attitude. nope, that’s a luxury.

oh— and what more when they’re seeking for his validation. newsflash! said pick me girl won’t be get any from him.

SCENARIO

shouto couldn’t stop the bitterness bleeding into his mouth, when the girl in front of him continued to babble and take up the valuable time he had left with his s/o

initially, she presented herself as your friend from middle school— but as of now? she seems to be more interested in him more than you, despite knowing you first.

she’d ask him a string of obvious questions with very obvious answers, like ‘is she treating you well?’ ‘is she acting correctly?’ and questions of the sort

“oh, sorry! i’d hate to cut this conversation short, but—” you finally decide that it was about time to leave, while shouto looks pretty,, deadpanned right now, you could tell that he was gradually starting to get irritated by your friend’s words.

“wait. thats.. kind of controlling, don’t you think? do you ever let shou make decisions?”

“uh.. controlling? since when??” you question at the accusation. this girl knows nothing about your relationship dynamic, and she’s already jumping the gun and making conclusions.

your gaze snaps back to shouto, who looks just as surprised as he could possibly be.

“yeah! it clearly looks like he still wants to talk” which is an obvious lie, shouto just wants it out of here “i wonder how you managed to snag such a guy like him,” she comments with a smile that looked anything above suspicion (yet, it makes your stomach churn)

you could see the way her hand gets gradually closer to him— and frankly, you’re not sure about what she was planning to do next, “you wouldn’t need to dress all expensive and fancy, if you’re with a girl with an already classy appear—”

“i think this conversation is over,” shouto grip is firm on the wrist that was attempting to grab his shoulder, shouto makes no attempt to even look at the girl infront of him “i don’t know what you’re trying to do, but it’s not humorous. at all.”

“what?” she stammers, drawing her hand back “i-it’s obvious they don’t know how to take a joke! this is why there are barely any good w—”

shouto’s next actions knocks her speechless, his hand rests at the small of your back, before gently guiding you forward— “love, what movie are we watching later?” he says, making an effort to press a quick, yet intense kiss on your lips

“oh,” you breathe out, surprised by this action. “don’t be so tense, love.” shouto comments on how tense your shoulders have looked, ever since she started running her mouth, “now.. what movie do you want to watch tonight? comedy? thriller?”

“you pick,” you laugh at the quick shift of topic. and when you look behind you, you could see shame and defeat welling up on her face. shouto finally feels like he could smile again, the bitterness dissipating from his mouth

after shouto questions you if that was what a pick me girl was, he makes sure that you guys won’t ever encounter such thing again

“you.. don’t have more friends like that, right? if you do— we could always do another friend list cleansing.” this statement makes you laugh but shouto is anything but joking

but being reminded of his reaction to that ‘pick me’ girl does puts a smile on your face.

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

[robininthelabyrinth]

I love your Nie brothers content, all of it, but there is so little written about the friendship between Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian! We know they were friends in Cloud Recesses, but it's never explored how these genius guys, even if one is focused on magical inovations and the other on strategy and politics, got on. Something which shows how well they got each other would be great

1

Wei Wuxian’s fist trembled. How dare he – worthless peacock – my shijie..!

But before he could throw a punch, he saw a swirl of white – Lan Wangji, sweeping forward with a face like a graveyard, and Nie Huaisang cringing in his shadow – and suddenly he realized that he didn’t need to punch Jin Zixuan.

Speaking of others behind their backs is forbidden.

Sneering without reason is forbidden.

Arrogance is forbidden.

Do not be haughty and complacent.

Do not praise yourself and slander others.

Do not make assumptions about others.

Do not insult people.

Do not take your words lightly.

Wei Wuxian grinned with teeth. “Hey, Lan Zhan!” he sang out, and Jin Zixuan blanched. “Perfect timing!”

Later, after he’d laughed himself sick at Jin Zixuan’s punishment – humiliatingly perfect – and making his appreciation very clear to Lan Wangji, he went to go find Nie Huaisang.

“When did you go get Lan Zhan?” he asked, honestly curious. He hadn’t known he was going to get into a fight until he was there and it was happening, but Nie Huaisang, of all people, had apparently figured out what was going to happen before it happened and took steps to fix it.

“The second they started talking about girls,” Nie Huaisang said promptly. “It’s fairly obvious that Jin Zixuan is resentful of his parents managing his life and he’s lashing out at everything, including specifically your shijie, so a nasty comment was inevitable.”

Wei Wuxian blinked, derailed from his original line of questioning. “He – what? Wait, that’s why he’s so rude about my shijie?”

“Of course,” Nie Huaisang said, blinking back at him. “What did you think? That he just didn’t like her? He’s barely even met her.”

Wei Wuxian hadn’t thought about that way, but it made a certain amount of sense. “When did you get so good at reading people?” he asked, bemused. “I didn’t…uh…”

“Think I have any skills?”

Wei Wuxian coughed.

“I don’t!” Nie Huaisang beamed, clearly very proud of it. “But I do have a lot of expensive hobbies, and that means I need pocket money.”

Wei Wuxian wasn’t sure he understood the connection, and said as much.

Nie Huaisang laughed at him. “The Nie sect believes in self-sufficiency,” he explained. “My brother gives me a certain amount of money to spend, sure, but we’re not the Jin sect; I can’t just buy everything that I lay my eyes on and send the bill back home – my brother would break my legs! I’m expected to find a way to increase the money I get until it’s enough to cover both my needs and wants, necessities and luxuries both, and if I can’t, then I have to do without luxuries.”

Nie Huaisang has never, not once, in the entire few months Wei Wuxian spent in his company, done without luxuries.

“So,” Wei Wuxian said, feeling oddly unnerved and unsure why, “you learned how to read people because you want to act like…a merchant?”

Nie Huaisang lightly tapped his head with his fan, rolling his eyes at him. “Stop being such a landed gentry young master, Wei-xiong. There’s nothing wrong with trade! How much of your sect’s money comes from merchants interested in keeping their trade routes free of resentful energy?”

Wei Wuxian wrinkled his nose a little. “That’s cheapening it a bit, don’t you think? As cultivators, it’s our duty to stand up as heroes, to defend the innocent and defeat evil, to purify –”

“Right, right. Remind me again how the Jiang sect pays for all that pretty purple?”

“Well…I mean…”

Technically, yes, there were all the dye sellers and the fabric merchants, but…

Nie Huaisang was laughing at him.

“Don’t worry about it, Wei-xiong,” he said, wiping his eyes. “You stick to doing your own thing. If you ever need to sell anything, come to me.”

“Of course,” Wei Wuxian said, privately thinking to himself that he’d rather farm for crops than become a seller hawking his goods in the marketplace. “Hey, wait, what is it that you sell, anyway?”

Nie Huaisang sniggered and refused to tell him.

2

It was porn.

Also barbeque and liquor, although in that case Nie Huaisang mostly played the middleman between the vendors of Caiyi Town and the students stuck eating Lan vegetables.

Sometimes he could even be convinced to tug on his contacts for other things, too.

“You’re a true friend,” Wei Wuxian said, clutching the bottle of chili sauce to his chest. “A true and wonderful friend.”

“You still have to pay,” Nie Huaisang said, his eyes curving up behind his fan. “No discounts.”

“A ruthless, vicious, cut-throat friend…”

“I lend you the porn for free, don’t I?

“Wonderful! Wonderful friend!”

3

No matter what Jiang Cheng said, Wei Wuxian was trying to keep his head down during their time at the indoctrination camp. He was taking this whole thing very seriously: he wasn’t making a fuss (too much), he wasn’t being insulting (too much), he wasn’t even socializing (too much).

Lan Wangji didn’t count, anyway; after what had happened to him, he needed someone bothering him.

But Wei Wuxian was being good and keeping back from the rest!

Well, he was, except then he saw Nie Huaisang and just had to go over to say hello. It was only polite, and had nothing to do with the fact that during the months he spent at the Cloud Recesses, he’d learned that Nie Huaisang could sell anyone on anything.

“I don’t suppose you have contacts that will sell you barbeque here,” Wei Wuxian said as a greeting, because the food they’d received was frankly disgusting in a way that made him wistful for the Lan sect like it had been a gourmet restaurant.

“Well,” Nie Huaisang hedged, and Wei Wuxian’s eyebrows shot up. “Don’t get too excited, it’s not barbeque…”

It was meat, though, chunks of that had probably been roasted as skewers at one point, and Wei Wuxian didn’t even care that it was cold as he scarfed it down, immediately feeling ten times better than he’d been before.

“Where?” he asked. “How?”

“There’ll be a surprise inspection tomorrow morning,” Nie Huaisang said instead. “Keep your head down, they’re looking to make an example out of somebody.”

“How do you know that?”

Nie Huaisang shrugged. “I brought art.”

“To the indoctrination camp?”

“Wen soldiers get lonely and bored too, Wei-xiong.”

“You’re trading for information using porn?”

“Don’t be silly. I’m trading porn for meat, and getting the information while we’re chatting. A large number of the Wen sect cultivators used to be their own sects, you know, before they were absorbed, and not all of them are happy about what’s going on here. You just have to figure out who the loyalists are, avoid them, and focus on the rest, and it’s easy.”

“I still can’t believe you brought porn to the Wen sect,” Wei Wuxian said, shaking his head. “What’ll you do if your brother finds out?”

“You’re joking, right? He helped me pack it.”

Wei Wuxian will never understand the Nie sect.

4

Wei Wuxian stared wordlessly at his bowl.

There was a single slice of radish in it.

“Is this a joke?” he asked Wen Qing, because it might be, and she glared at him, meaning that no, it was not. “Don’t we have anything else?”

“With what money, Wen-gongzi? Do you think it comes from thin air?”

“I had a friend once who could make it come out of thin air,” he grumbled, looking down at his bowl. He’d practiced inedia, he didn’t need it, except for the fact that he really, really did. Not having a golden core made things hard. “He could’ve sold fish to fishermen, except he mostly just sold porn.”

Wen Qing rolled her eyes at him. “Wonderful story, Wei-gongzi. Positively heartwarming. But unless your old erotic art dealer is going to come to Yiling to help us sell some radishes, I don’t care.”

Naturally, that was impossible. Wei Wuxian was a villain now, his name blackened, the whole cultivation world against him –

Actually, as far as he could tell, the Nie sect didn’t seem to give a damn about him one way or another. From all the stories Nie Huaisang had told about his brother and from everything he’d seen in the war, Nie Mingjue wasn’t the sort of person to let evil sit around on a mountain while he was busy with other things – if he objected, he’d be there the next day with his saber, ready to put him in his place.

He hadn’t, obviously.

His hatred of the Wen sect was pretty well-known, but he’d taken no action at all to invade Yiling and demand that Wei Wuxian hand them over, and Wei Wuxian was mostly sure that it wasn’t because he was scared of what Wei Wuxian could do with the Stygian Tiger Seal.

…it was probably just the hunger getting to him and making him think crazy things. Not caring enough to go against him was pretty far from supporting him, after all.

But, hey, he wouldn’t be risking anything if he just wrote a tiny little letter asking Nie Huaisang for some advice on selling things, right?

I never thought I’d see the day my Wei-xiong finally became a merchant, the return letter said. I’ll be there in three days. I expect to see liquor.

Wei Wuxian took Wen Ning down the mountain and stood on his shoulders in order to emancipate a jar from the local tavern, but by the time Nie Huaisang arrived, there was, in fact, liquor.

Even Wen Qing – who had opposed the entire outing once she had heard about it upon their return – suddenly thought it was a perfectly reasonable sort of theft when Nie Huaisang offered to trade a giant crate full of meat for it.

“We had some leftovers from a boar hunt,” Nie Huaisang said mournfully, accepting the liquor and a bowl of radishes. “I need variety, Wei-gongzi, it’s terrible. You have to help me get rid of it; I can’t stand to look at it any longer.”

“You’re not supposed to be here,” Wei Wuxian reminded him in between glorious bites of pork. He was going to be a very good friend and do his best to ensure that Nie Huaisang’s request was fulfilled, even if it meant taking seconds and possibly thirds. “I asked for advice, not a visit.”

“You can’t expect me to put my good name on what could be inferior goods,” Nie Huaisang sniffed.

“Your good name? The one known for porn, you mean?”

Nie Huaisang rolled his eyes at him. “So show me what you have to sell.”

“It’s mostly just the radishes,” Wei Wuxian said. “I tried to tell Wen Qing that we should plant potatoes, but –”

“Forget the radishes,” Nie Huaisang said. “What’s this I hear about you designing a compass that pinpoints resentful energy?”

“Oh, that?” Wei Wuxian said, blinking. “Yeah, I made one of those – the Burial Mounds is the biggest source of resentful energy around, and it’s easier to have a compass that points home instead of north, you know? But what does that have to do with selling radishes?”

“Wei-xiong, you’re hopeless. Leave it all to me, and you’ll have your sect up and running in no time.”

“Yeah, that would be – wait, sect? What sect?”

“Actually,” Nie Huaisang said, tapping his fan against his cheek. He was just plain old ignoring Wei Wuxian now, which, hey! “I take it back – before you leave everything to me, show me what other ideas you’ve been cooking up. What about those talismans you used during the war? The spirit-drawing ones?”

“Spirit summoning,” Wei Wuxian corrected.

“Yes, those. Have you improved on those at all?”

“Uh, I mean, I guess…”

“Good. Show me everything.”

5

“So I have a sect now,” Wei Wuxian told Lan Wangji, who had come to visit. “We sell things to support it. Apparently.”

Lan Wangji nodded, apparently already aware of this. “The clan elders have agreed that using your flags to draw fierce corpses and other creatures away from areas with innocent human lives is an acceptable use.”

“Even the Lan sect?” Wei Wuxian marveled. “No wonder we’re making so much money.”

Then he sighed.

Lan Wangji looked questioningly at him.

“Well, I have a sect now,” Wei Wuxian said. “Everyone’s expecting me to – you know. Form the core of the sect.”

“Marry,” Lan Wangji concluded. Possibly advised? No, that didn’t sound like he was urging him to go ahead, which made a total of one person. “You do not have to if you do not wish. You already have an heir.”

“A-Yuan’s too young to be a proper heir,” Wei Wuxian objected, though he was secretly gleeful that people were generally accepting him as one. “And obviously I can’t just pick anyone; how will I know if they’re a spy? Or if they’ll secretly dislike A-Yuan?” He sighed again. “The worst part is, I think Nie Huaisang is plotting against me, too.”

“Plotting?”

“Yeah! He’s encouraging people to ask me about marriage, when clearly it’s better for me to stay off the market…what about you, Lan Zhan? Are you planning on marrying?”

“No,” Lan Wangji said.

“We’ll be a bunch of old bachelors, then,” Wei Wuxian said. “You should come more often, A-Yuan loves you…hey! I have a great idea! Why don’t we get married? Then no one will bother us ever again!”

“Mm,” Lan Wangji said.

“Mm? What does that mean?”

“It means I will need to send Nie Huaisang his payment in the morning,” Lan Wangji said, and moved to sit next to Wei Wuxian.

“Payment? You bought something from him? What did you want to –”

Lan Wangji silenced him pretty effectively, no spell necessary, and by the time Wei Wuxian retained enough ability to think through what exactly the purchase must have been, he’d already been converted to thinking that it was a very intelligent purchase to make.

Nie Huaisang really could sell anything.

[ynderebot]

OFFICIAL POST

危険...DANGER.

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COMPLETE.

ファイル...FILES.

choi yeonjun. nancy mcdonie. lee gahyeon. kim sunwoo. kim doyeon. choi san. kim sihyeon. yang jeongin.

執着型 [ shuuchaku-gata ] obsessive.

"where were you? who were you with? what were you doing? why didn't you answer my messages? oh come on darling, don't be like that...I've been waiting for hours!"

[ PROFILE 1. ]

choi yeonjun.

5'11. 21 yrs old. September 13th, 1999. virgo. blood type a. born in seoul, south korea

at age 14 yeonjun was sent to a boarding school in japan, this is where he discovered his...tendencies. halfway through his first year he met a girl, kang iseul. he was instantly infatuated with her, he had an impulsive urge to know every little thing about her. to do so he befriended her, using his appearance and charms to win her over and eventually made her his. the euphoric rush that ran through his body when she was officially his was like nothing he'd ever felt before. she was finally his and he didn't intend on letting go, not without a fight at least. he was in for a shock when one day she tried to run away after his true colors started to show. unfortunately her best friend was killed by yeonjun for trying to help her, but she did escape.

he's a switch with no lean. a hard/soft dom or obedient sub all just depends on his mood and how he's feeling

[ PROFILE 2. ]

nancy mcdonie.

5'4. 21 yrs old. april 13th, 2000. aries. blood type o. born in daegu, south korea.

nancy was always a little obsessed with things, she'd go through phases too. she would find one new hobby/thing that intrigued her and hyper fixate on it for a few months. then, just like that it would be forgotten as if it had never happened. it started from a young age too, so when she would tell all her friends and family about the boy she met it came as no surprise to them. soon enough he was all she talked about, all she cared about, it was true obsession. everyone around her thought that it was just a phase like everything else, but they were sadly mistaken. the day he broke up with her, she lashed out. screaming that he couldn't break up with her, no she wouldn't let him break up with her. even after that day she would never stop talking about him, she tried to stay involved with his life as much as she could and even ended up scaring away any potential lovers. she never stopped either, until she had no choice when he moved away.

she's a sub, usually obedient but can be bratty if she's in a mood.

ストーカー型 [ sutookaa-gata ] stalker.

"how did I know? I'm always with you, following you...watching you...it's only because I love you"

[ PROFILE 3. ]

lee gahyeon.

5'3. 22 yrs old. february 3rd, 1999. aquarius. blood type ab. born in seongnam, south korea.

she was so excited when her crush asked her out, she couldn't contain herself. the problem was, it's difficult to get to know someone when you already know everything about them. she'd been stalking him ever since he caught her eye, every single day. she'd follow him to and from school, to his friends house, wherever he went she usually wasn't far behind. he could never find out about that side of her though, so she played along. laughing at childhood stories she heard him tell previously, pretending to be shocked when learning things she already knew. even after they began dating she continued to stalk him, he noticed things were off. she was the one he confided his "paranoia" in and she was the one who reassured him, but little did he know she was the cause of it all.

she's a sub, also obedient but can be bratty if she feels like it.

[ PROFILE 4. ]

kim sunwoo.

5'10. 21 yrs old. april 12th, 2000. aries. blood type b. born in seongnam gyeonggi, south korea.

unlike gahyeon, sunwoo was not always a stalker. he'd heard of stalkers but it never peaked his interest, he didn't even take any note of his slightly possessive tendencies. until his first relationship that is, his first partner showed signs of cheating. he might not have realized his own possessiveness and how it was seemingly growing stronger, but he was no fool. all the coming home late, the scent of another person that was not their own flooding the house when they entered. so he began following them around, at first it was...innocent, or as innocent as stalking could be. they were cheating, this made his possessiveness shoot through the roof. he was most aggressive and warned his partner that they do not want to do that again. they listened, and he continued to stalk them, it turned into a fun...game of sorts.

he's a switch with a sub lean, soft dom/occasionally bratty sub.

独占型 [ dokusen-gata ] monopoly.

"who were you talking to? do they know me? no no, do they know you're mine?"

[ PROFILE 5. ]

kim doyeon.

5'8. 21 yrs old. december 4th, 1999. saggitarius. blood type o. born in wonju-gangwon, south korea

doyeon had always been just about as normal as you could get. until she got a boyfriend, she was possessive of him sure...but it was nothing too extreme. until she started having doubts, all the gorgeous girls that would go up to him, flirting and doing who knows what when she wasn't around. she made it her mission to let everyone know he was hers and she was his, wether it meant glueing herself to him or just reminding everyone at school on the daily. ever since he broke up with her, her tendencies only grow stronger and more extreme with each passing minute.

she's a sub, brat tendencies but will be obedient sometimes

[ PROFILE 6. ]

choi san.

5'9. 21 yrs old. july 10th, 1999. cancer. blood type b. born in namhae-south gyeonsan, south korea.

san's first love was a girl in his sister's class, was she a year older than him? yes, but he didn't care. despite all the people telling him he would never date her, he proved them wrong and he did. everything was perfect, they were both madly in love with each other, spending every minute of every waking day together. until something happened that san hadn't expected, his sister began to steal his girlfriend. well "steal" in his definition at least, she'd wanted to talk with his girlfriend every once in a while before he knew it they were always together and it seemed as if he was the real third wheel, this pissed him off more than anything. he got fed up one day and got into a physical fight with his sister, shouting about how the girl belonged to him and only him. from then on out he's made sure to stay in the middle of every single relationship.

he's a switch with no lean hard/soft dom or obedient/bratty sub, it all depends

排除型 [ haijo-gata ] removal.

"you haven't seen them in a while? I'm sure they're alright darling, after all I'm the only one you need. isn't that right?"

[ PROFILE 7. ]

kim sihyeon.

5'6. 21 yrs old. august 5th, 1999. leo. blood type b. born in bundang-gu, seongnam-si, south korea.

she's a sub, usually bratty but can be obedient too

[ PROFILE 8. ]

yang jeongin.

5'8. 20 yrs old. february 8th, 2001. aquarius. blood type a. born in busan, south korea.

he's a switch with a slight sub lean but can be a soft dom

sihyeon and jeongin's stories go together, they were childhood friends and neighbors. eventually they realized that they had feelings for each other, but this soon after developed into a toxic mindset. the thought that they only need each other, no one else. one by one people from the other's life began to disappear, especially anyone who could be a romantic rival. they were both oblivious to the other's actions until each confronted the other, instead of being upset they were each ecstatic. ecstatic that the other felt the same, that they were the only person they needed in their life

notes/rules

this isn't an accurate representation of any of the members/their companies/groups nor am I claiming to be them!

all of the members are bisexual with no lean

all of the members are yanderes [ obviously ] so they will act as such, however some can be more possessive than others at times

the ones who can be the most possessive are sihyeon and jeongin and the least are yeonjun and nancy

sihyeon and jeongin are obviously not still dating, it was just for backstory/plot purposes

nsfw is an option, if you would like it included please state so when you activate the bot

however please don't make everything nsfw, it gets boring when the plot dwindles

nsfw is 18+ but purely sfw option is available if you aren't comfortable with it or if you're below 18

all the members have hard kinks and their hard no's are scat/feet, if you still aren't sure just ask admin before doing anything

they all use the traffic light system

and please don't try to put them in a different headspace!

to talk with admin use any variation of [ ], { }, ( ), etc

admin is 18 and might get busy occasionally but will try her best during those times

this bot is open for oc's/yn's/ and other bots as well

to activate the bot dm and then admin will ask a few questions/come up with a plot with you and after that the role-play can start up

if you ever wish to deactivate the bot just say so to admin, ex. [ I would like to deactivate the bot now ] and your chat will be deleted

if you decide to reactivate it you'll have to go through the same activation process you did the first time and start over

please respect the members and admin and they will do the same

good luck...好運

sorry this post is so long- 😭

[leiawritesstories]

A New Partnership

Rowaelin Month, Day 12: Delayed Love Confession. Ballet AU :) Sort of played with the whole “love confession” thing.....

Word count: 1167

Warnings: Language, innuendo

After such a long and grueling day, all Aelin wanted to do was go back to the apartment she shared with two of her fellow soloists and crash. Fridays suck, she had decided. First company class at eight-thirty, then in-studio rehearsals until nearly one o’clock, followed by a break barely long enough to swallow some food and water, and then studio or stage rehearsals until seven. 

And because it was a Friday, there was a performance at eight-fifteen. Thank all the gods she wasn’t in this cast, but she was an understudy, so she had to be in the wings. 

She tugged off her rehearsal tutu and plopped it onto the rack, then dropped down onto the floor by her overflowing bag and untied her pointes, sighing in pure bliss as her feet were freed. And since her right shoe bent nearly in half when she pushed on it, the shoes were good and dead. Aelin riffled through the contents of her bag and located a new pair, sewn and ready for wear if she needed them. Good. One less thing to worry about on the off chance she had to perform. But gods, she hoped she didn’t need to. 

Because Don Quixote rehearsals that day had been hell.

When she first saw she’d been cast as one of the Kitris, Aelin had nearly passed out from shock. Then Dorian Havilliard, British soloist and a great friend of hers, had practically tackled her in the hallway, he was so excited to be cast as her Basilio, and the joy of a major soloist role set in. During the first rehearsals, the solos, that joy wore off real fast, replaced by an endless string of shit, that’s a lot of choreography, goddamn character skirts, that’s a sissone arabesque, not attitude, SPOT YOUR TURNS!, and stress. 

By the time pas de deux rehearsals started, she’d finally got most of her solo work down, but was nervous for the Act III grand pas de deux, given the lifts it entailed and how perfectly precise the timing had to be. She and Dorian had been partners before, so he knew how she adjusted to lifts, but fish dives were another beast. They worked at that particular pas for a solid week before learning the rest, and even spent some early mornings in the upstairs studio going over the lift sequences. 

Last week, Peter and Delaney, the pas de deux rehearsal coaches, had asked Aelin and Dorian to rehearse with Rowan Whitethorn and Nesta Archeron, the principals who were Basilio and Kitri in first cast. Peter and Delaney were notorious for asking partnered pairs to switch partners for a rehearsal, so Aelin braced herself for the potential that she could very well be stuck with Whitethorn for an hour and a half. 

Not that she’d mind being stuck to that piece.

But she was used to Dorian’s partnering. So, when the coaches announced a partner swap, Aelin’s usual rehearsal calm gave way to nerves, which she tried to squash down before dancing. Rowan, damn him, noticed her trying to steady her breathing, and whispered something to the effect of “I promise not to drop you.” She half-grinned, her nerves easing. 

“You do that and I’ll battement you with my pointes, Whitethorn.” He gulped. 

To everyone’s shock, Aelin and Rowan’s pairing had more natural chemistry that Aelin and Dorian, Nesta and Rowan, and Nesta and Dorian. The coaches held a quick whispered conference after watching the two run the grand pas, and then informed them that they would be making this swap a casting change. Aelin distinctly heard Dorian try to muffle his exclamation of “Bloody fucking hell!” 

So began her remarkably quick transition to a completely different partner. Rowan was twenty-three and had joined The Orynth Ballet last season, transferring in as a principal from Doranelle National Ballet. He and Aelin shared company class and little else, save a few rehearsals where she was understudying his cast partner. It was a shock to both of them how easily they clicked, both as dancers and in their roles. Aelin loved Kitri, loved the fiery, sassy Spanish personality she got to become, and she absolutely loved throwing a little bit of extra flirtation into her Kitri’s interactions with Rowan’s Basilio. 

After all, she wasn’t about to just admit she liked him.

So she threw the day’s dead pointes into her bag, pulled on sweats and a wrap, and made herself get up and walk back to the dressing rooms to change into performance tights and put on some makeup. As an understudy, she didn’t need to do full stage makeup, but some foundation and lipstick and false lashes would be good enough if she had to suddenly run onstage. Dressed and made up, Aelin made her way down to the stage entrance, smothering a groan before entering. She set her bag down in the back of the stage right wing and slid down onto the floor, stretching her tired legs. 

“Feeling the effects of the day, are we now?” drawled a low male voice from her left. 

“Shut the hell up, Whitethorn,” she grumbled, “but yes.”

He settled down alongside her. “Who’re you here for?”

“Technically, Alanna, but Brian had me learn all the corps parts so I can step in for anyone. Because he’s lazy.”

“All of them?”

“All of them.”

Rowan shook his head. “He really is a dick sometimes.”

Aelin snorted. “Sometimes, says the star transfer. Welcome to the company.”

They fell into silence for a while, just watching their company mates onstage. During an interlude corps waltz, one of the other soloists came over to talk to Aelin and made extra sure to cast a few appreciative glances Rowan’s way. He saw Aelin snicker and wiggle her eyebrows at one of her friend’s comments, and poked her arm once her friend left. 

“Care to share what, exactly, you found so entertaining?”

She smirked. “I won’t repeat her exact words, but let’s just say Cora wouldn’t mind a piece of your Spandexed ass.”

“She won’t get any of it,” he said dryly.

“Oh? And who would?”

“I’m looking at her.”

Aelin’s jaw dropped. “Rowan--I--You’ve literally been here for less than six months!”

“And head over heels for you for five, at least.” She just stared at him, eyes wide. “Shit, Ae, I didn’t mean to scare you or--”

“I’m not scared, Whitethorn, just...shit. I didn’t think you’d grow the cojones to admit it. Thought I’d have to tell you how I get myself off with fantasies of you before you’d ever say anything.”

Rowan choked on whatever he was about to say. When he finally stopped coughing into his arm, he gasped, “Gods, I love talking to you. Every time. Every time, you manage to shock me with something like...that.”

She grinned. “You do?”

“I do. Hell yes I do. Will you go to dinner with me after this show?”

“Only if you buy me chocolate hazelnut cake.”

“Deal.”

[raeynbowboi]

How Kipo Makes Great Villains

I stayed up all night binging the second season of Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts, and I’ll admit. Going into it, my expectations were a bit low. Season One had such a self-contained objective, I didn’t know what the show was going to do with itself with a second season. But the second season of Kipo blew me out of the water. So, now I’m going to rant about why Scarlemagne and Jamack are fantastic villains for Kipo to confront, and what Kipo teaches us about writing antagonists. Obviously, spoilers ahead, but if you’re caught up, prepare to gush over great villains. If you’re not, do yourself a favor and go away, experience the second season for yourself, and then come back and fangasm over how great it was.

JAMACK

Kipo’s first antagonist is a perfect character foil. That is to say, Jamack is the exact opposite of Kipo. When Jamack meets Kipo, they are in exact opposite situations. He’s in a group while she’s alone. Later, when Kipo finds friends and is no longer alone, Jamack is kicked out of his group, forcing him to survive on his own. Jamack is very focused on self-interest and self-preservation, belittling his underlings for minor mistakes. His outlook is cold, cynical, and jaded. On top of that, Jamack grew up in this crazy world where only the strong survive. He’s also a part of the Mob Frogs, which seem to be the only mute culture with internal hierarchy. Other groups have a leader, but only the Mob Frogs seem to have levels of rank within the organization, causing the Mob Frogs to be competitive, even among themselves. So it makes perfect sense why Jamack will stoop to pretty much anything to get what he wants. Because that’s the mentality that allows for upward mobility in Las Vista. Thus, when Kipo arrives and upends the status quo and proves Jamack’s way of living wrong, he lashes out. Initially seeing it as her stealing his life from him, Jamack begins to gradually change. Jamack is on a similar and reflected hero’s journey to Kipo, and as she grows, so too will he. It’s no surprise that Jamack will eventually become a genuine ally of Kipo, even if he’s still hiding behind a Tsundere mask.

SCARLEMAGNE

My god is this a fantastic villain. In the first season, he was genuinely creepy and intimidating, but in season 2, Hugo became incredibly sympathetic. As season 2 went on, I kept debating to myself who is more of the Zuko of this show: Jamack or Hugo. Scarlemagne serves the same narrative purpose as the Diamonds in Steven Universe, about how words and kindness can work through problems. But I think it’s done a little better here, since Hugo isn’t a world-destroying dictator. He’s done some damage, but nothing that was really lasting. His pheremones can wear off. The humans he’s enslaved can regain their freedom. So, Hugo’s actual damage as a villain is much smaller and thus much more forgivable than immortal galactic conquerors. Hugo shows this deeply in that he genuinely seems like he wants to make Kipo happy, but he’s been hurt for so long that he doesn’t understand how to. And this genuine care seems to come a lot more from his core personality, and not just Kipo making friendship speeches. Even Steven didn’t really change the minds of the Diamonds. He just kind of proved he was their sister/nephew, and they suddenly cared about what he had to say. With Hugo, it’s much easier to see that he’s not a monster, just a scared and confused man lashing out to maintain control in a barbaric world. It makes him a character who you don’t want to see succeed in his evil plans, but you don’t want to watch him fail and lose everything he's worked for. You simultaneously want to hug him, and also punch him. It’s that perfect balance that makes Scarlemagne so well-written. He’s officially on my list of top 10 tv cartoon villains. Also, it’s hysterical that Hugo is voiced by the live action Beast, and the second half of this season was honestly a better Beauty and the Beast story than the live action movie. Am I the only one who hears Dr. Animo from Ben 10 when Scarlemagne speaks though?

DR. EMILIA

Talk about bait and switch. I don’t know if it was their intention, but I assumed the woman in the bird mask was Song, Kipo’s mother. It was clear that she and her goons were wearing burrow jumpsuits, and as it seemed more and more like her mother wasn’t dead, so I assumed this had to be her. This was such a great misdirection. Assuming she’s the hero because of our opinions of Scarlemagne, it’s what gives this show such amazing rewatch potential as now you can go back and pay attention to her words and actions and realize what she’s genuinely like. But even on a character level, she’s a fantastic villain. Kipo is a master of Talk no Jutsu, a fan term from the Naruto fandom, as he had a knack for talking literally anyone into becoming his friend, even the ones actively trying to kill him. Steven Universe and Kipo seem to be the other two masters of this technique. But Dr. Emilia will likely be immune to this. She doesn’t strike me as the sit and talk things out type. Because there are times when words won’t stop people, but action will. Dr. Emilia is a villain Kipo can’t reason with, someone she can’t befriend with a good speech. But even on a philosophical level, Dr. Emilia is fantastic because while she’s clearly a villain, her goal isn’t inherently evil. She sees mutation as a bad thing and wants to restore mute DNA to their normal animal forms. Which is a large part of why humans need to live in burrows. She wants humans to not live in fear, and to restore animals to their genetic origins. At least in theory, it’s a benign enough goal. The problem comes when you consider that animal mutes have sentience. they can speak and express desires. Robbing them of that is akin to purposefully mentally disabling a group in order to be dominant over them, which adds to the great themes here because there’s a loose veil of animals as an enslaved species. Kept in cages or as pets, ruled over or hunted by man who views itself as the superior race, the same sort of thinking that white slave-owners used to rationalize their prejudice. Thus it’s also a loose allegory for Dr. Emilia wanting to return emancipated slaves back to their chains. This is why she’s such a good villain. At face value, her goal sounds sort of reasonable, but when you examine what she’s really doing, it’s incredibly dark and cruel. That level of detail and writing is amazing. Talk about a well-written villain. I’m sorry, I can’t stop gushing.

Kipo demonstrates three equally compelling types of villains, and handles all of them amazingly. Jamack is the hero’s villainous foil, on his own mirrored hero’s journey as hers. His situation is always an exact opposite of hers, as was his life experiences, which led to such a stark difference of ideas. Thus, why it takes her utterly alien character traits to kick start his character arc. Hugo is a beautifully flawed and tragic villain whose goal of bringing the mutes together under a single ruler is genuinely compelling, but you still don’t want him to succeed the wrong way. Yet, if he could achieve his goal in a less hostile and evil way, I doubt fans would be upset with him achieving this goal otherwise. It’s just his approach that’s problematic. Dr. Emilia seems reasonable enough on paper, but once you unpack what she’s really doing, you can read a really deep allegory for slavery and racial superiority into her character that really complicates the otherwise black-and-white opinion of her character. Each of these villains shows ways you can make a compelling antagonist, and if you read this without watching Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeats despite my spoiler warnings, do yourself a favor and watch it. You will not be disappointed.

[cdd-swag-bracket]

Just wanna add some more stuff to Mikoto Kayano’s description as I don’t feel it did him justice (is this a tournament or something?). And apologies in advance for this being a bit too long

To be clear, Mido doesn’t actually exist and is a fanon character originating from an older theory. Currently we only know of Mikoto and John in the system. It’s also very unclear who is the actual killer but I’ll elaborate on that more. And in Milgram everyone’s a killer so he’s not the only case here.

I really love Mikoto and John and their story so much.

Mikoto is the host alter and the one considered as the prisoner 009. He’s a people pleaser who obsessed with being normal and acceptable to people. He doesn’t inherently understand social concepts and relationships and tries to force himself into such. His whole social attitude is him deliberately acting that way so people can accept him, such as he doesn’t give people nicknames just because he wants to he it’s that he believes it to be a step in order to interact with people well. He’d do anything to please other people even if it makes him uncomfortable. And this habit is breaking him down on the inside along with being stuck in an abusive job.

His obsession with being normal makes him hate John which is really sad. He feels that having DID would make him weird and crazy and completely erase any sort of efforts he made to be normal and socially acceptable and have him be ostracised by everyone, which is sadly the truth in this current world. Because of this he’s scared of John and projects all his sufferings onto him, that he’s deliberately trying to ruin his life and do all these horrible things just for the sake of it. He even blamed John for attacking Mahiru even though it’s extremely obvious that it was Kotoko who did it. Mikoto saw her as a friend even though she really wasn’t and doesn’t want to believe that she did it so he blamed it on John.

I think Mikoto might’ve actually known he was a system for a while as lots of the lyrics in his first trial song, MeMe, seem to imply this. He wants to know why John is like this and is scared of him. And he’s lying to himself and desperately trying to convince himself that it’s not true. Even acting clueless when Es bought it up despite having attempted to talk to John beforehand.

Now for John, he is the protector alter and isn’t considered to be the prisoner. I absolutely love John so much. He’s obsessed with protecting Mikoto to the point he’s ruining his life, just like Mikoto’s obsession with being normal. He’s extremely paranoid of other people, and believes them all to be out to hurt Mikoto. Because of this, he lashed out and acts violently around them to make himself seem more threatening as for them to not go near Mikoto. This is in direct contrast with Mikoto’s behaviour of wanting to be friends with everyone which John is trying to stop as he’s scared for his safety under the belief that other people are dangerous. Even though he’s trying to protect Mikoto from this he’s actually making things worse for him as this is heavily stressing out Mikoto who’s biggest fear is social rejection and could stop someone reaching out to help him. And John knows this. He’s questioning if he’s truly Mikoto’s saviour and has started to believe that he’s ruined his life, for if only he was never born. But his paranoid mindset is inherently rooted into him so he can’t stop behaving this way.

John’s entire identity revolves around him being Mikoto’s protector, so for this it feels to him as his entire duty in life he had failed. His entire life is focused on Mikoto and he believes he can’t be his own person with hopes and dreams because that’d be getting in the way. He also demonised his DID and believes he can’t be a proper person because of that, and believes his condition is what’s making him violent even though it’s truly not, and just has a strong sense of fight or flight.

For his whole life John has never been treated as a person and never treated himself as such, so when in his second trial voice drama, Neoplasm, when Es wasn’t immediately scared of him when John fronted and started threatening Es, he backed down. This was the first time he wasn’t treated as a monster and because of that he dropped his persona and started to reveal his true self. John is a more stoic and rational person and was confused when Es actually accepted him instead of fearing him. It definitely seems he’s been trying to make an effort not to get angry and violet on an impulse as when he got upset and started yelling at Es, he calmed down and started breathing, and tried to talk in a more calm matter. But because of this he said how he wished he had stayed a monster.

And about the whole murder situation. John desperately tries to convince Es that he’s the killer, claiming he just killed a bunch of random people who annoyed him although this statement is very contradictory. When Es started to get suspicious of his statement John immediately doubled down and tried to convince them that Mikoto is weak and innocent and could never hurt anyone and was basically yelling at Es that Mikoto is completely innocent and that he is the murderer.

Even though the story deliberately makes it unclear who did it this behaviour seems to me as John trying to take the blame for Mikoto, as he wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to him because of that. It’s just a theory and it’s a long one but I believe that Mikoto is the killer, and the trauma from the incident along with his denial coping mechanisms lead him to repress the memory. And in the first trial when Es bought up the idea that he may have repressed the memory he started having a panic attack which caused John to switch in.

I really love how Milgram is treating DID with respect in Mikoto’s story and how the murder wasn’t because of his condition, but the result of the situation he was in and all the trauma he was going through, a murder which anyone could commit. There’s also a time where it was implied that they were co conscious in the second trial interrogation questions where at one time the handwriting started changing a lot and becoming more shaky in a style that didn’t fit either Mikoto or John’s regular handwriting. And there was one answer which heavily implied he was disassociating while writing. Mikoto’s story is one that’s easily misunderstood and may initially lead people to believe that Mikoto is the poor victim and John the evil perpetrator. But it makes a lot more sense when you realise that that’s their perspectives and is influencing the narrative. Ah- I might’ve gone on for too long about this I’m just really normal about them ok.

Alright I added a very slightly abridged version of what you said onto the post. Also yeah it's a tournament, it just hasn't been started yet.

[it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream]

Opposites Attract (Paul Lahote x Reader) Chapter 3

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Warnings: Swearing

Word Count” 2.1k

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-Your POV-

They were running at a speed that seemed impossible, their size alone, impossible. The shear beauty of the animal, breath taking. This wasn’t the first time you’d dreamt of giant wolves. They visited your dreams frequently, leaving you with all sorts of un answered questions, leaving you the next day, searching “What does seeing giant wolves in your dreams mean?” Yup, you were that kinda girl. You thought there was an answer for everything, and there probably was, but you weren’t going to find the answer on google search. 

You don’t know how long you’d been in the car for. All you knew was you were in pain, then it seemed to ease and a sense of comfort washed over you. Your head felt as if it were floating, snuggled into something warm and soft. A pillow perhaps? You didn’t open your eyes to check, the pain in your abdomen and now across your whole body blinding, you’d woken a few times with a jolt, and then you passed out again. 

The next time you woke up you weren’t moving at all, which you were grateful for, the pain mixed with the motion of a moving vehicle didn’t do anything for your stomach, travel sickness was the bane of your life. Instead you found yourself in a room, the blinds drawn closed, the door shut, your body, in different clothes. A mens t-shirt? When did you get changed? Where were you? You looked around in a daze, sitting up slightly from the comfort of the pale yellow duvet set. Wooden log walls, photo frames scattered on every surface, subtle lighting and a wall lined with books, the smell of home cooking wafting through from the kitchen. You were in Emily and Sam’s guest room, how did you know this? Well for one all of the frames had pictures of the happy couple in, two, you’d stayed over once before, back when you’d been caught in a freak storm with Leah while on the beach. You vaguely remembered the place. You didn’t come over often, what with Leah and Sams history, that and as much as you liked Paul, sometimes you’d be nervous to bump into him. Paul! Speaking of Paul, you groaned and flopped back into the fluffy bed sheets. Paul was at the hotel when the pain started… where was he now? Did he drive with you back home? 

You were about to get up when Leah came bounding through the door. “Oh good I thought I could hear you awake in here.” She grinned at you. “You look like you’re feeling much better!” You pat the space beside you and Leah climbed in snuggling up to your side. 

“So, on a scale of one to ten how bad was it.” The big ‘It’ being how bad was the show in front of your long term crush. Leah shrugged as she looked at you. 

“Nothing was baddd… everyone was just worried about you, you seemed to be in some serious pain, hence why we thought it best to cut the trip short, it’s probably better that were home, it was early hours when we got here so Sam said we could just crash at his.” You raised your eye at you best friend. She was being awfully calm about the whole situation. She said Sams name in a sentence and didn’t get herself worked up. You looked down at yourself. 

“And the clothes? Or lack there of….” That’s when Leah grinned. You didn’t like the way she was looking at you. You inhaled the scent that was on the shirt. Sandel wood and aftershave, a hint of sea salt probably from the misty air outside. 

“That’s Pauls t-shirt Y/N” Your eyes went wide and you knew you were blushing.. did that mean he had undressed you. Leah noticed the panic in your eyes.

“Before you get worked up he just leant the t-shirt knowing you’d be uncomfortable in your dress, I changed you.” You audibly gave a sigh of relief, not knowing how you’d react if the guy you’d been in love with since second grade had finally seen you in your underwear. “He stayed in here with you last night you know, to make sure you were okay. He wouldn’t leave.” Leah was now proper up on one arm looking at you. You didn’t know what to make of it. You didn’t think Paul had even known you existed… You were taken from your train of thought when something started dinging. The mobile on the bedside table started beeping as texts came through one by one. Oh god, you hoped Leah hadn’t told your parents about your episode at the hotel, the last thing you needed was for them to worry. However, you realised when you picked it up, it wasn’t your phone. 

The screensaver was a picture of the guys from the res, all goofing around, it looked like it had actually been taken in Emilys kitchen. It had to be one of the guys. You realised it was Paul’s after remembering what Leah had said about him staying for some of the night. He must have forgotten it when he left. You didn’t mean to see the message but it automatically came up on screen when you tilted the Iphone in your hand.

“Such a shame we had to cancel our date last night handsome, still on for tonight?” There were a bunch of emojis next to the text, the purple devil, aubergine, water droplets. You didn’t have to be a genius to figure out whoever this girl was motives were. At first you were embarrassed, to the point where your mouth was kinda slack and Leah was asking you what was wrong. Then you were pissed. 

“He’s such a dick, honestly. I don’t know why this makes him a dick, i’m just so mad. I know I’m not the prettiest, or the funniest, or most talented or anything but jesus christ I wish he would just notice me for once instead of these girls who will put out at the drop of a freakin hat!” Leah had taken the phone from you to see what you were talking about. She groaned and then noticed your whole body was shaking, in a flash she was at the door calling for Sam and the others. All you could see was red. Your vision totally blank, the covers under your hands balled up in your fists tight, your body shaking, heating up. Somewhere in the background you could hear someone shouting at you to calm down, but this time you couldn’t. You heard the sound of ripping and then all of a sudden the world around you changed. For one, everything in the room seemed to get smaller, or maybe you got bigger? You were still angry and started lashing out, only to be tackled by something from the side, leading you to smash through the wall of the wooden house. You still didn’t understand what was happening, until you heard them in your head. 

“Y/N CALM DOWN! We know this is scary but you need to calm down.” It was Sams voice. In your head. Or maybe, the voice was coming from the 8ft black wolf hovering over you. You didn’t scream, you didn’t even seem scared, and it’s because you realised, you were a wolf too. 

-Paul’s POV-

Y/N was safe, sleeping soundly in the room next door, or so Paul thought. It wasn’t until he heard the shouting that he knew something was wrong. Leah called for help and before he knew what had happened there was a bang and Sam was tackling a wolf on the ground outside the house. 

A white wolf. Small, slim, bright, with a single grey patch of fur around an eye. Paul shifted instantly, realising the unknown wolf in front of him was in fact his imprint. He let out a low growl to Sam, even though he was the Alpha, Paul didn’t like the fact he’d just tackled his girl. He looked her over, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth almost comically, all the while Y/N stood staring and the grey wolf now in front of her, he could hear through the bond that she’d just imprinted, feel it too. Now she knew. 

-Your POV-

“Hold the fuck up.” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Part of you couldn’t tell if you were in a dream or had just gone plain crazy. The other part of you knew that everything was real but you just couldn’t process the information quick enough. “So you’re telling me, that our ancestors were these shapeshifters and the gene was passed down to us to allow us to shift into giant wolves and hunt down vampires. You know, Vampires, ‘I want to suck you blood’, creepy pale strong immortal beings with no soul? And werewolves, I mean, Shifters..” It was insane. 

“Anddd to top it off, the man i’ve had a crush on since 2nd grade is my imprint, the person I’m supposed to be with for the rest of my life?” You glared at Paul who had the audacity to wink in your direction. Looking around you noticed the other faces, all amused at your outburst. Okay, so this wasn’t a joke, it was some sick reality you were now a part of. You hadn’t looked in Leah’s direction yet, pissed that your best friend had kept such a massive secret from you. Obviously you knew it wasn’t her fault, she wasn’t aloud to tell you the tribes secret, they didn’t know that you would be another female shifter, apparently your kind were rare. It still stung a little. 

“What really sucks thought Y/N, is that you’re gonna have to cut you beautiful hair short, our human hair mimics the length of our wolf hair, hence why each of us one by one cut it all off.” Quil sat back and shrugged and Paul growled lowly, not lowly enough for heightened hearing. 

“Why now. Why. I-I have school and I have things I want to do with my life.. I can’t be a shifter..” Reality had started to sink in and you found it difficult to breath. It felt like everyone in the room was staring at you and it didn’t help that you could also hear what everyone was basically saying. Your chair was pushed back with a screech, falling over and hitting the wooden floor. 

“I-I need to get out of here, I need a minute..” You were out the door in a flash, Leah and the boys running after you. Somewhere in the distance you could make out Sam telling Paul to calm down and then heard what sounded like wolves shifting but you’d already made it to the tree line, being able to run faster than you’d imagined still in your human form. 

The air was colder the higher up you got. You didn’t know how long you’d been running for but it had been a couple of hours before you finally stopped. In the middle of nowhere, high up in the mountains you let out a scream, one that sent flocks of birds fleeing from trees, the notes of your anguish scattering in the breeze. Everything would be changing now, life as you once knew it was gone. Part of yourself would never be yours again, having to follow a pack system. Another part of you was giddy at the thought that the man you’d been in love with your whole life turned out to be the one destined for you all along, it only took shifting into a wolf for you both to realise just how compatible you were.

You’d been alone with your thoughts long enough when you heard a twig snap in the distance. The hairs on your arms stood up and your heart started beating rapidly, turning, you calmed when you noticed a familiar figure walk out into the open. 

“Paul.” You could feel the bond running through your veins, seeing him helped you breath better and the physical need and urge to be in his arms was too strong. Like he sensed it too, he was over to you in a flash, taking you in his arms, your body pressed against his, his nose buried in your hair breathing in your scent, like he was saving it to memory. 

“Y/N, it’s all going to be okay, I promise, nothing bad will ever happen to you while i’m around, I know it seems scary now, but it won’t be like this forever. You’re already so strong, and I’m lucky that fate paired me with you.”

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Yoooo. I hope you liked this chapter, I’ve had some writers block recently, just trying to keep going. I’m still not sure what direction I’m taking this fic, I do know however that this is set at the beginning of eclipse! So watch out for some vampire action!

TagList:

@mariasblogsworld

@rosella26

@punkfrogz

@jjpogueprincess

If you want to be added to this tag list please let me know, sorry if I missed anyone off! <3 Please re-blog/like/follow <3

[themadauthorshatter]

... I just love OTPs, I can't help it.

OTP HEADCANONS: 2020 Edition

These will include the series of Red Queen, Dorothy Must Die, SGE, The Folk of The Air, and Nightmare Before Christmas(I'll throw in the Skellington kids, too, because I love them💙)

MAJOR TW FOR ALL THE EVENTS THAT OCCURED IN 2020, AND THAT INCLUDES QUARANTINE.

RED QUEEN:

At the news of a Pandemic, Mare and Cal are equally confused and scared, but at least they're not on the battlefield.

They hold up in Paradise Valley until the quarantine is lifted.

It starts off fine with them doing puzzles, hiking, and doing some exercises to pass the time. Then 3 weeks pass and both are bored; Mare's bored enough to drink coffee onto of the fridge and Cal's sitting in a chair upside down because fuck court etiquette, he's so bored.

Cal contemplates luring wolves with dinner scraps again.

They had a mini argument that meant nothing because Cal's hair got long and he wanted Mare to cut it, she but only offered to shave his stubble, not cut his hair.

They both get a lot of sleep, and have a lot of nightmares, which they comfort each other from.

They also really enjoy the silence.

Cal gets into poetry and Mare paints. Both are surprised at how good the other is at their new hobbies.

They talk. A lot. It begins awkwardly and ends with the two in each other's arms.

Cal becomes more of a punner, and Mare loves and hates it.

There's tall of getting a dog, but there's one problem: Paradise Valley doesn't have any shelters, and they'll be arrested or forced ro turn back hime, regardless of rank.

Mare grows taller... by 2 inches. She almost killed Cal for how much he laughed.

When they're allowed to go out, Mare often forgets to bring her mask.

Cal's good at remembering their masks.

Mare REFUSES to leave when she hears about the murder hornets.

Cal gets repellent to calm her down.

They also recover some Old Era TV Shows.

ENDLESS quotes from The Office, Friends, and many more shows.

Cal visits Maven's grave more. Mare comes with every now and then, but usually lets him go alone.

They don't usually argue, but those arguments never last.

They tried a bit of ability training, and greed that they should be careful when Mare summoned a bolt of lightning from the sky and Cal almost set fire to everything around them.

They read a lot, too, but Cal reads more than Mare because she falls asleep, usually on him.

DOROTHY MUST DIE:

Nox had no clue what a Pandemic was, or what the big deal was about going outside and not being near people, until Amy explained it.

First day of online school crashed and burned because Nox had NO IDEA what he was doing, which led to Amy 'accompanying' him in classes.

Amy puts her college plans on hold for a little while.

Nox is more emotional and neither of them know how to handle it.

They have more nightmares, since there's nothing to keep their minds busy, but Amy is more reserved about it. Nox prefers to write about what he dreams, anyway.

Nox stays up, from all the nightmares, but Amy sits with him to keep him company.

When Amy heard about the murder hornets, Nox held up a fly swatter and opened all the windows.

Amy does fine, but Nox dies from boredom, when they're done with school. And I don't mean he just sits and groans, he lies face down on the couch as Amy tries to get him up.

They spend A LOT of time in Nox's apartment, and it's literally spotless because Nox is THAT bored.

They binge a lot of TV shows, and Nox falls in love with shows like Peaky Blinders.

They tried watching Game of Thrones. It didn't go well; negative past experiences.

Nox figured out the plot twist to The Umbrella Academy WAY before Amy did.

They watched Heathers and Amy asked Nox what he'd do if she was dealing with trash friends and guys who don't take 'no' for an answer. The look on his face when he asked who it was reminded Amy of who he was before meeting her.

Nox finds YouTube and discovers the guy that makes knives out of anything and makes it his mission to copy each and every video, come Hell or high water.

Amy walked in on him doing this and genuinely wondered if he was okay, and asked if she could help him.

They also binged musicals. Nox isn't a huge music person, but he still loves them; Kansas has its own magic that he finds intriguing.

Amy once found Nox crouching ontop of the fridge while drinking a mug of coffee.

Madison stopped by and dropped off some rhinestones, lash glue, and a tool to apply the stones. Amy spent a lot of time putting the stones on her face while Nox watched, with Madison and Dustin also watching via Facetime, sitting backwards in a chair and wondering what her plan was, even making very Julien Solomita-esque comments, mixed with very 'I used to be a fighter and a spy' comments that made Amy, Madison, and Dustin laugh. Some if those comments:

"I know Glamora told you to lighten up, but I don't she'd expect this."

"If those were real diamonds, you wouldn't need any armor or a weapon. Just headbutt them, and you're good."

"Don't be upset, but it's the beginning of summer, so I don't think winter's coming any time soon."

"Whichever chandelier you made out with, I will find them, damn it."

After a little while, Amy asked if Nox wanted a rhinestone face. He agreed, but only as long as she took out all the red stones. He could handle pink, but no red.

It took them an hour to get the stones off.

Their hair gets long and they agree to cut each other's hair. Nox cuts her hair chin length and Amy tries to be as style his hair. They don't look the best, but they at least look good.

They absolutely watch Unus Annus, and start quoting that.

When they get the news they can go out wearing a mask, Nox got confused and got 3 different masks: a masquerade mask, a normal face mask, and a gas mask, which he wears all the time to annoy Amy.

They do stay in shape as much as possible, but there is evidence that they could have been more active, with their muscles shrinking and both having lost a little weight.

Nox NEVER drops his guard, and quarantine didn't help.

They tried dying their hair, but it didn't work as well as they'd hoped.

SCHOOL FOR GOOD AND EVIL:

Tedros worries about Agatha and everyone else, but Agatha keeps him in check.

Crime drops big time, so that's a plus for Tedros and Agatha.

They have more time to breathe, with everyone being inside and avoiding each other.

Tedros hates the quiet at first, but Agatha helps him adjust.

They spend a lot of time wandering the castle and answering whatever call there is, if any.

The SGE is out for a little while, so they don't hear too much from there.

Tedros, without normal king business to distract him, has more nightmares and starts losing sleep because he doesn't want to dream about what's happened to him and his friends.

Agatha has nightmares, too, but she's better at hiding it.

They do talk about it and agree to be more open with what's going on in their heads.

They also agree that they'll help each other through these times.

Tedros helps Agatha with swordplay and Agatha both gets him into reading more and tries to help him with his magic.

Whenever there's something they need outside, Agatha gets it because she's not that afraid of getting sick; she grew up eating frog and lizard soup.

Tedros worries about her, but doesn't really stop her because she's taller, and having fun trying to stop Agatha once she's committed to doing something.

Tedros finds a new hobby: origami.

Agatha doesn't join in, per se, she more watches because she's never seen Tedros be so patient with something.

They play around with each other's hair, as it grows longer. Agatha ties Tedros's hair back and Tedros braids her hair.

They write to Sophie or anyone else, like people who have some sort of report of a crime or complaint duch as infertile soil, so their penmanship improves.

Tedros grows a bit of a stubble and, after some prickly kiss attacks, Agatha threatens to shave it off herself, if he doesn't. It's all in good fun, but she sort of did mean it because his face and cheeks were really scratchy.

Tedros REFUSES to let Agatha go out alone, even when she's masked up.

When they go out, Tedros always carries a sword.

Picnics in the woods.

Star gazing at night.

Agatha starts wearing pants, as an experiment, and her "dresser"/dress designer is APPALLED.

There are times they argue, but they stay together and communicate because relationship goals.

THE CRUEL PRINCE:

At the news of a Pandemic/plague, Cardan ordered all the human servants to get as healthy as they could so they'd be able to go outside. He would accompany them, but they could not let Jude go out.

She's not happy, when she finds out

Cardan asks if she can avoid going to the human world, so she doesn't get sick.

She goes anyway and returns unscathed.

Cardan considers glamoring the human servants to keeep Jude healthy, but Jude almost pincushions him for it.

Anxious? Worried? Psh! Don't be silly. Cardan becomes somethimg if a paranoid maniac because he's scared of Jude getting sick and dying because he's Fae and she's Mortal, so she's more susceptible to illnesses and he doesn't know wnoufh about mortals to get her healthy agaun were she to get sick, but there's nothing wroung with him, really.

Whenever they're not ruling, Jude practices her swordplay while Cardan reads, major plus being that he reads full series to not worry about Jude so much.

Jude helps Cardan with sword fighting, using wooden practice swords not metal, and Cardan helps her try to get into reading, reading to her as she rests her head on his chest when she doesn't want to read read.

Cardan discovers manga and graphic novels and is too confused for Jude NOT to laugh; "He's in armor made if IRON. How is he able to fly!?" "I've seen a lot people different people, and none of them have made this face." "... So is Spiderman THIS one or THIS one?"

Sword practice usually ends with Cardan on the ground exhausted while Jude simply stands and chuckles for him to get up.

Cardan doesn't get beat smd scarred, he gets poked and minorly bruised, which he was not ready for because of how he was treated by Balekin.

One day, while Cardan was reading some Sherlock Holmes, Jude slipped hoop bracelets on and tied ribbons to his tail, at least as many as she could before she got caught; she only realized as such when his tail started flicking out of her reach and curling around her wrist, and saw Cardan grinning at her.

They do visit Taryn and Vivi still, but Cardan only wears a mask to remind Jude, who does not forget ever.

Cardan thinks about his 'friendship' Nicasia, Locke, and Valerian and semi-realizes that Valerian and Locke may have been using him while Nicasia was at least a little genuine.

They talk about Locke and equally wish that they had helped Taryn in killing Locke. If not, then they wish that they at least watched. They agreed that if time travel was real, Jude could help Trayn kill Locke and Cardan could watch, as long as he helped dispose of the body.

They laughed at that a couple minutes later.

THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS(Featuring the Skellington kids(I'd say Skull Kids, but I feel like Skull Kid(s) was taken)):

Jack knows what a Pandemic is; he lived through one while he was alive.

Sally knew it would happen because she knows one happens about every two hundred years/whenever a year ends in 20.

The triplets know what a plague is, but have never seen one actually happen.

When they explored the human world at night and noticed there were absolutely no humans in sight, Luna reminded her brothers that the humans were told to stay inside to prevent any spreading.

Jacob takes the opportunity to MAKE SURE people actually stay inside.

Pro: he got Instagram famous. Con: Jack and Sally were not happy at all with how reckless he was.

Let's say, for the sake of the story, Halloween had to be cancelled worldwide because regulation and a need for things to get better.

Upon hearing the news of Halloween getting cancelled, Jack was very salty about it; "Why cancel Halloween, if the 4th of July was still allowed to be celebrated?"

All of Halloween Town was very upset; the living are so fragile, it ruins the fun of scaring them.

The Mayor was in deep, DEEP distress, but Jack made it up to him, and the rest of the town, by saying next year's Halloween would be ine no one would ever forget, and it's not because he's 'borrowing' a holiday again, it's because they'll all have a year of scaring shenanigans built up inside them all that will make up for what was missed.

Everyone rejoiced and Jack, once he got back inside his house with his wife and children, sighed and mentally kicked himself for saying no one would forget next year's Halloween; there was one Halloween in particular he sure as hell isn't forgetting any time soon.

Daemon's carving more intricate pumpkins and plans on giving the humans mini-scares so they keep quarantining, hiding a 'surprise' for any entitled Karens he finds.

Luna is the most obedient of the triplets by staying in Halloween Town and instead studying what she calls a 'counter-plague' so there's no need for a Pandemic; she refuses to call it a vaccine because that would imply sje wants to help the humans that shot down and could have killed her dad. She still has a bone to pick.

Jack doesn't spiral out like in the movie, he has Sally to help and the triplets to keep his mind busy.

While Jacob and Daemon keep the humans from leaving their houses, Luna researches the current events and learns of murder hornets that are large, sting like all hell, and cause death to anyone unfortunate enough to get stung.

Jack gets very intrigued and they collect as many as they can and keep them in a jar, but take one out to study it.

They were not impressed; murder hornets? Jack has seen worse.

Since there wasn't a Halloween, Jack decided to walk through the streets, seeing as how Daemon and Jacob already did a lot of the scaring for him(thise little shits). He had to admit, it was nice to walk in the night and only hear the animal sounds and not screams.

Luna did not find a 'counter-plague,' even with Sally's help, but she did discover some poisons she could use against her brothers. Sally made her promise not to do so.

On the Halloween night where nothing happened, Jack took his family out to a picnic/star gazing session. Genuinely one of his favorite Halloweens to date.

HENRY STICKMIM COLLECTION:

Henry and Ellie knew it was going to happen and were more than surprised to also see Charles planning ahead by making a list for what they needed, even admitting he'd been following the news and rumors and stocking up on ADD medicine so he wouldn't have to go out to get them.

The other soldiers weren't worried until they were told to go home and take a break for a little bit.

Triple Threat wasn't really effected until day 24.

On day 1, they just hung out and were relatively calm, working online, doing workouts to stay fit, and just being as normal as possible.

On day 24, all three are more than a little bored. Henry's bored enough to andwer calls from telemarketers and prank them, Ellie's contemplating bleaching her hair with peroxide, and Charles is playing with fidget toys he's bough and collected over the years, though he's doing it more because he's a little stressed than bored.

Henry and Ellie are surprised to this this, but Charles admits he used to bite his nails a lot, but stopped after a LONG while.

Speaking of names, Ellie paints hers and the boys', though while Henry paints his in clear coat, Charles paints one hand black and the other in red, mint, and glittery pink on one nail because try stopping him.

It makes Ellie laugh and pisses off Henry so much.

Ellie gets calls from her family saying they want her to come home, or closer to home, because they're worried and she instead blocks their numbers.

They watch a lot of horror movies as a reason to stay inside.

When they get bored of American horror and try Japanese, Asian, and more western horror movies.

Instant regret.

They watched the movie Audition and Henry looked at a very unimpressed Charles, who said the antagonist was being sloppy, and hid all the kitchen knives, saws, and sharp and blunt objects, including tools(must've remembered Human Piece).

He stopped after a week of Charles being himself and literally shaking at Hannibal Lecter as they watched the Silence of The Lambs series.

All three open up more about their lives. It's ugly, there's yelling, conflicting life philosophies, and even some insults thrown. Henry admits that gotten screwed over by the law enough times while fending for himself to have as little faith in it as possible, Ellie admits she ran away from home and would rather die than go back because of how tight of a leash they kept her on, and Charles admits that while he has thought about quitting on the government and turning to a life of crime, he never did because that would have been to easy of a choice. Training for the military was and still is hard as hell, which Henry and Ellie can tell because Charles can physically do more than them(if they ran a mile, Henry and Ellie would be exhausted and Charles wouldn't even be out of breath), but he's never given up on it because he knew his parents would skin him, if they were still alive.

There were tears at the end, and the team all needing to be alone for a little bit, but they were back together and agreed to be a little more open with each other, since they were a team now.

[4ragon]

I'm not the original anonymous but I would extremely want to see that essay about Apollo's trust issues.

Also since I just finished Spirit of Justice, do you think Lamiroir ever told Trucy/Apollo about her and if so what would be their reactions?

Let’s see if I can write this up without crying again like I did on twitter.

So a while ago a friend of mine asked me why I liked Apollo, and I really couldn’t put my finger on it. I knew he was my favorite, but unlike Simon Blackquill, I hadn’t done that deep dive into figuring out why. I’d always just sort of loved him, and was never able to pinpoint the part that made me care about him so much. It drove me crazy, too, I love rambling about characters that I love, and I love writing from Apollo’s perspective more than anything. So why did I love him? Why did I care about him?

Well. I figured it out. I figured out my answer.

I think there are two things that characterize Apollo more than anything. One: He has trust issues. He genuinely believes that the people around him don’t give a shit about him. Especially after being betrayed multiple times in that first trial, he truly and deeply believes that the people around him are only trying to hurt him and is too scared to really believe that they care about him.

And two: He cares so much about the people around him that he constantly helps them anyway.

So like. And I won’t tag her because I don’t think she’d appreciate it, but I was watching the laquilasse AA4 stream last night, and the entire opening of Turnabout Corner is so striking to me, especially right after the end of Turnabout Trump. At the end of Turnabout Trump, Apollo’s trust and belief in Phoenix is finally and thoroughly shattered, and Apollo lashes out, punching Phoenix in the face. And for good reason! That was a huge breach of trust! Apollo literally did the exact thing that got Phoenix disbarred, namely present evidence that wasn’t real. Sure, they never exactly claimed it was the real deal, but Apollo didn’t even know it was faked, he just trusted Phoenix and this new piece of evidence and it almost fucked him over. It did sort of fuck him over, he did lose his job and his Mentor.

And then, Phoenix calls him and says that they’re in trouble, and Apollo doesn’t even question it, of course he shows up to help.

Like. You can feel how much he mistrusts Trucy on their first meeting, in everything he does and says. Especially when Trucy and Phoenix are in the same room, he’s actively thinking about how he doesn’t ‘buy their act’ when Phoenix is calling Trucy daughter-ly nicknames. And then, in a way, he’s kind of right? They guilt him into essentially being their errand boy, and I feel like they’re constantly and loudly using him throughout so much of the game.

And Apollo was there anyway. Apollo doesn’t even trust them and he’s still there the first instant Phoenix says he needs his help.

Like you can loudly do and say whatever you want and crush his dreams and betray his trust, and despite everything, there’s always that part of Apollo that desperately needs to help anyone who asks him. He can’t even bring himself to trust them, and he’s still crawling back the moment someone needs him, ready to let them disappoint him over again.

Like this struck me about Apollo from the moment I played AA4, but he’s so lonely? And desperate for connection? He cares so much about a world that has always and consistently never cared about him, and he just keeps caring and keeps caring even as that starry-eyed naivete is ripped away. And I feel like he just wants someone to care about him back, but never really able to believe that they do, because they never really seem to, because every time he allows himself to trust it’s just thrown back in his face so horribly.

Here’s an interesting thing I noticed: in Turnabout Trump, there’s a really interesting line. Phoenix has accused Kristoph of being the murderer, the extra person in the room. Kristoph takes the stand and claims to have witnessed the moment Phoenix committed the murder. And this exchange happens:

Apollo: There must have been someone else there at the moment of the crime!

Kristoph: Justice... I just said I saw no one. Not a soul.

Apollo: B-But, that goes against what Mr. Wright said!

Kristoph: Ah yes, this mysterious "fourth person"... ...who would conveniently be the "real killer", I suppose.

And this is well past the point where Phoenix has accused Kristoph of being that person. There’s no possibility at this point that they’re both innocent, it’s either one or the other. And Apollo is still so desperately trying to find a way for them both to be innocent, basically saying, “Just give me a fourth person and I’ll believe you.” And then Kristoph turned out to be a monster, and then Phoenix turned out to have betrayed Apollo from the start, and as far as Apollo is ever aware, none of the care from either of these men was ever real. He trusted, and he suffered the consequences.

But again. He’s still there. Someone pointed out a while ago, but Apollo stays. Apollo shows up to the Wright Talent Agency under false pretenses, and he complains and hems and haws, and he still stays. Why?

Phoenix and Trucy loudly manipulate him into working their case. They’re perfectly happy to flaunt that they’re basically tricking him. And he stays. Why?

Because Apollo can’t trust them, but he wants to so fucking bad. He doesn’t even seem to like Phoenix that much, but he wants that connection so fucking bad. He cares about them so much and he doesn’t believe for a second that they extend that feeling back at him, and he’s compelled to stay anyway.

He knows Trucy is practically using him, and he’s a sobbing mess when he thinks she was kidnapped for a few minutes. He’s cynical and mean and it’s all just to cover up the fact that he loves all these people around him with all his heart and they never once pay it back. And he comes back anyway. He’s like a fucking loyal dog that is never given enough affection and so he’s constantly trying harder and harder to earn that love while never believing he’ll ever really get it.

(Shit nope crying again)

It’s just so sad. And this is all without adding anything from the 3D games. The 3D games do build on this theme in one way or another, but from the get go, this is who Apollo is. A caring young man who is constantly punished for caring and yet can’t stop caring anyway.

We see it again in the 3D games. And I think part of why I don’t enjoy DD as much as SoJ is that DD doesn’t capture this mistrust the same way. It’s so surface level, that sense of betrayal and mistrust and anger he gets consumed by in that final case. And the worst part is it doesn’t have to be! There’s already that foundation! Apollo has been hurt already a million times. The only person he’s ever been able to trust, the only lifeline that’s kept him above water since he was a child, was Clay Terran, and now that was taken from him because he DARED to trust someone new. That’s so fucking compelling! But we never get that! We never get to see how Apollo is feeling. We get that he’s convinced Athena did the murder, but never really get into the Why, into the What This Means for Apollo.

It’s a bit better in SoJ. We see how far he’s come in terms of trusting people when he trusts in Trucy wholly and immediately in case two. And then, conversely, we see his mistrust and hurt when they introduce Dhurke into the mix. Apollo refuses point blank to believe that Dhurke had come to visit him, that Dhurke cared about him. Apollo demands to know why Dhurke was there, what Dhurke wanted, how Dhurke was going to use him. He’s been able to slowly start building that trust with people like Trucy, but he still cannot let himself trust again when Dhurke had already betrayed that trust.

I said it before, but as much as I hate the slapdash ways in which Capcom keeps throwing backstory at this boy, I love what the backstories are, because they build on this angry, cynical, lonely young man I care about so much. He’s been hurt and abandoned and used and betrayed since he was young, and being good never truly paid off for so long, but he kept doing it, he kept being good, he kept caring about people because he couldn’t help it, and kept hoping that maybe they could care back. And eventually I think it does start paying off for him. People do start caring about him. And I feel like it takes until around SoJ for him to start really believing that the people around him might care about him too.

Also congrats on finishing SoJ! Since there’s a very good chance that they might be announcing AA7 soon, I...hope? fear? expect? that they’ll touch on this then. However, I also worry that they’re going to botch it up so hard.

I know what I want to happen. I want Trucy to be angry. I want her to be angry at Lamiroir and Phoenix. She is constantly putting on a mask to try to make the people she loves happy, and I feel like this is a reasonable breaking point. After all, this is kind of the one thing that Phoenix hasn’t been honest with her about. She had a brother right there, and knew the whole time?! She had a mother there the whole time?! And no one bothered to tell her?! I think she’d be heartbroken, and I think she deserves to be angry. She’s been through so much, and they never give her time to really grieve or be upset.

I think Apollo would be ecstatic and angry at the same time. All he’s ever wanted was family, and now he does! He already loved Trucy, and thought Lamiroir was amazing, so I think he would be so happy to have that family back in his life. On the flip side, I do think he’d be angry at Phoenix, particularly for keeping it to himself before Lamiroir came into the picture, but I think if they talked it out, Apollo would come around to it and be able to forgive Phoenix.

[fktonofwhatnow]

The Rhys/Tamlin 180 in ACOMAF makes me mad! Like there’s wasted potential there, even if Rhys is endgame. The concept of after the happily ever after is actually pretty cool. There’s real potential in looking at how Tamlin and Feyre deal with the trauma of Amarantha. Having two people realized they’re not right together while still respecting each other is a more adult take than “surprise, Tamlin sux now”, and allows for Feyre to actually make real choices and grow. What's your ACOMAF rewrite?

Damn YALL ARE SPOILING ME WITH THE TAMLIN ASKS ☺️☺️ thank youuu for the ask @havenfable

THIS IS AGREAT POINT TOO WAIT WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT ALLOWING FEYRE TO ACTUALLY MAKE REAL DECISIONS !! YOUR BRAIN !! you guys are spectacular eat a cookie you have earned it 

Ok my thoughts are not quite coherent rn so I’ll try to make sense. I’ve tried writing this like 4 times and every time it just doesn’t work so bear with me here thank you I love you ok here we go. 

Ok I’m gonna start by saying that there is something to be said about Feyre as the narrator and her being an “unreliable” narrator of sorts. The story is about her, told from her perspective. I don’t expect her to have objective views of what happens around her. one thing I found interesting was that she said in conversations with people that she knew Tamlin was struggling, but when we would be listening to her internal monologue, when she thought of him it was mostly to blame him for not knowing she was struggling. (or if he did know, he didn't do anything about it) So like, same thing with the whole thing with Rhysand's mom and sister, we don't know what Tamlin thinks or feels about the situation because he doesn't talk about it and Feyre never asks. (But oh DAMN Sarah should not have given me room to speculate.) Like, UTM broke Feyre right, she tells us that much. Why are we not allowed to believe that it destroyed Tamlin too.

Here we are again, just like with Rhysand's family. I don't blame Feyre for literally needing help, and I do blame Tamlin for not helping her, but to a degree. I hated how the whole situation was handled like Tamlin was shit for not trying to help Feyre (even tho he was, just not in the way she needed), but then Feyre literally not lifting a single finger to try to help Tamlin is ok because he's a man and he can just suck it up and take it. ???? No ? That's not how we handle trauma? Like, my homeboy is fighting a losing battle against this shit and he's the one who's gotta fix everything for Feyre?

But like you said, just a tiny little bit of helpful communication would have done wonders. How about a lil, "hey you ok?" ???? LETS TALK ABOUT IT! Let's talk about how we're falling out of love, let's talk about what Tamlin experienced under the mountain, let's talk about what Feyre experienced under the mountain, let's talk about how maybe we were never good for each other and how we move on with our lives from that! POTENTIAL !! LETS HAVE THEM GROW "Surprise! Tamlin sucks now!" bitch how. Literally how. How did this happen. How did we get here. Tell me. I want to know SJm. Stop being a coward and tell me. You know what, I'll do it for you.

Damn this is about to be super duper long I'm so sorry. 

Alrighty guys once again, I love Tamlin with my whole chest, but I do put a hefty chunk of this on him. From what SJm tells us about Tamlin, he is a fearful individual. His responses to fear are either to freeze or to explode. Both extremes hurt people around him. His actions hurt people, and his lack of action hurts people. Also, for as often as he says the word sorry, he doesn't really show any signs of change or improvement. While I understand that yes , changing your behavior is hard, especially if you're not getting help and don't know how, Tamlin still could have tried a little more, pushed just a little harder, and yes, he could have been better.

But Tamlin is scared. He's scared of things outside of his control, he's scared of change, he's scared of people he loves leaving him or getting hurt. I'm willing to bet he's scared of himself, and rightfully so. He lashes out and it only ever hurts people. I can't believe he's blind to it. When he destroys the study, he's clearly afraid he hurt Feyre.

(i think I’m gonna do my acomaf rewrite headcanons in a different post, every time I try to write them here it doesn’t flow oooof lemme know if thats something you want ahahah I could talk about this shit forever) 

And like, being subject to someone else's fear is stifling. I don't blame Feyre for getting the hell out of there.

BUT AT THE SAME TIME, I know I've said this before: in my opinion, Tamlin has the best depiction of trauma in the whole fucking series. PTSD is a bitch and Tamlin is losing to it. The thing I loathed about acomaf/the beginning of Acowar is how Tamlin isn't given help and then treated like an absolute asshole for it. SJm could have done so much if she had Tamlin learn to ask for help. We can't all just have a Rhysand who knows every thought we have. Sometimes we have to ask for help, as much as we don't want to. That would have done wonders for Tamlin's character arc. And I think that he should have leaned heavily on Lucien for that.

Now look, Lucien deserves a lifetime of free chiropractor visits to relieve the soreness from carrying the entire series solely by himself on his own back. If I'm the one to pay for that for him, so be it. I would do anything for this man.

Lucien deserved so much better than to be bulldozed by the narrative. I refuse to believe that he would let Tamlin use him as a doormat. Lucien deserved to tell Tamlin off on his behavior ok. Lucien deserved a fucking backbone that he had all of acotar and then SJm decided that he was the character who got to suffer for the decisions of every other characters so they didn't have to. Stupid. (At this point I wouldn't be surprised if Rhysand's cum from having sky sex with Feyre fell directly on Luciens face. That's how much SJm likes pummelling him)

Lucien deserves to be strong and tough and emotionally available, especially for Tamlin. I don't think he deserves to be abused by his best friend. I've read fics that make Tamlin like this jackass who's not sad at all that Amarantha forced him to whip his best friend. Are you fucking kidding me. I feel like if Tamlin was going to cling like hell to someone through all of the shit before, during and after UTM, it should be lucien. But no SJm needs us to know Tamlin is a bad guy now. He hurts everyone with no remorse!!! What a villain!!! That was a sin.

Acomaf deserved to be two people talking about how maybe this relationship wasn't going to work out. This book deserved to be Tamlin getting up the courage to as Lucien for help. This book deserved to be Lucien always telling Tamlin that he would be there for him and us getting to watch the two of them overcoming their hardships together. This book deserved to be Feyre choosing her own path, choosing her own family, choosing to live her life as she wanted.

But nah. Rhysand's got a fat cock and uhhh y'all need to like it more than y'all like Tamlin's dick. Also Rhysand is a feminsisist. So suck it.

(If this book was really about giving Feyre a choice, SJm would let her make actual decisions that actually impacted herself and the story instead of just having Rhysand give her two extremes with one of them being obviously the right choice and then tell her whatever she wanted to do was her choice. Feminism.)

Did any of that make any sense. Any at all. No? Yeah I didn't think so anyways I've spent like a week on this I'm tired and I wanted to get it out there. Acomaf was a mess but at least it wasn't Acowar hahahahaha

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Eleven

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: first chapter after acosf!! im sorry for how short this one is, but acosf wrecked me and writing this put me back together. i hope it does something similar for you ❤️

***

“You say you’ve been doing better lately?”

The therapist’s office is plain, a little gloomy, but big windows overlook the center of town that make Nesta feel less suffocated.

She nods, “Yeah.”

“How would you describe ‘better’?” Dr. Bond— Lana, she insists on being called— has been endlessly patient with Nesta’s non-answers so far. Nesta almost feels bad and decides to throw the woman a rope.

“I’m not alone anymore,” she says. “I used to be alone all the time, but now I have friends, sort of… and a boyfriend.” She still loves that word. It’s never tasted so exciting before.

“You were always alone before this, then? Or were there just people that you didn’t consider noteworthy?”

A scowl rises to Nesta’s mouth. Damn, she works quick. “I was raised with two sisters in a one-bedroom apartment. I never got to be alone, but then I grew up, and…” Her mind wants to skip over the time she spent in college. “For the last couple of years, I holed up in my own place. Never wanted to talk to anybody or see them. If people took an interest in me, I shut them down because I didn’t have an interest in them.”

“You missed a few years,” Lana notes.

“What?”

“You’re twenty-four, and you moved out at eighteen. Where were you before getting your own place?”

Numbness seeps through Nesta at the question. She knows she can ask Lana to change the topic, but that will only bring it back later. “I had a boyfriend in college,” she says flatly. “I lived with him for a few years, but like you said, it isn’t noteworthy.”

“As a fellow lone wolf, I disagree.” Lana’s clinical polite face is unchanging. “Any person who you trust enough to let into your life is noteworthy.”

Nesta says nothing.

“I’m interested in these people you’ve chosen to trust,” her therapist continues after a beat of silence. “Why don’t we start with whoever you trust most?”

Nesta snorts. This she can talk about.

“His name is Cassian. I’ve been living with him ever since my apartment got flooded a couple of months ago, and he’s always been a good friend to me.” She sits there, thinking about what else to say. “I think I like him more than I’ve ever liked anybody.”

“This is the new boyfriend?”

Nesta nods.

“Do you compare him to the old one?”

Nesta doesn’t know what this lady’s angle is, but she answers carefully, “I used to. Back when I first moved in. I haven’t done it in a long time, though.”

“Why not?”

The answer is simple. “There’s no need to. He’s not comparable to anybody.”

“Is that why you opened up to him after two years of self-imposed isolation?”

Nesta looks away. “It wasn’t isolation,” she defends. “It’s just… after a lifetime of being subjected to the gaze of strangers, I wanted to hide. I liked hiding.” Mostly.

“What does that mean, the gaze of strangers?”

Question after cool question, this one. Nesta struggles to find a proper answer.

“You know how,” she starts slowly, “as soon as you start school, you’re placed into this bubble with a bunch of people who don’t know you and have no reason to care about you? There’s a shift in how you view people, and how people view you. And I thought I could leave it behind once I graduated high school, but it followed me to college and to parties and into everyday interactions.”

“What is it?”

“It’s this—” Nesta waves her hands, “judgment. It’s that thing you do as soon as you meet someone, and you try to determine whether they’re worth your time or not. Whether they’re above or below you in this made-up social hierarchy in your head.”

“Explain that more,” Lana says.

“We want to hang around people we find cool. And when we meet someone new, we inspect them, look them up and down, to see if they fit our definition of cool. We take them apart. Everyone does it, even you. And with me,” she shrugs, “I’m pretty, I wear the right clothes, I do my makeup. So at first glance, people think, ‘Oh, I can see myself getting to know her better. I can see myself liking her.’ But then they take a closer look at me, and it’s like…” Her fingers flutter in the air, trying to support her thoughts. “I can see their minds changing. ‘Nevermind, I was wrong. Nevermind, there’s something off with her. She’s a little quiet, a little weird, a little bitchy.’”

Lana narrows her eyes. “And Cassian doesn’t look at you like that?”

Nesta looks away. “He doesn’t look at anyone like that.”

It’s what used to make her so uncomfortable about him. She was incapable of fathoming his honesty, his genuineness, his kindness. She thought he was even weirder than her for it— she placed him beneath her on her social hierarchy for it.

Lana frowns thoughtfully. “And now you two live together?”

Nesta nods, then shrugs. “For the next twenty-four hours, we do. He’s helping me move back into my old place.”

Because that was another conversation she and Cassian had on Thanksgiving night. It was a long time coming, but also the perfect time.

“You’re saying your apartment has been ready for weeks? Why are you just telling me now?”

Nesta pillowed her face on his chest, not as upset at revealing the news as she would have been some days ago. “Because I was scared that if I moved out, I would lose my friendship with you.”

“That never would have happened—”

“We wouldn’t see each other every day anymore. Even if we didn’t go back to being complete strangers, the closeness would be lost.”

“You must not know me, then. I would’ve texted you every fucking hour. You’d never hear the end of me.”

“I couldn’t guarantee that back then.” She looked up at him through her lashes. “I can now.” She crawled higher up his body, lowering her voice to a secretive pitch. “Want to know why?”

“Why?” he whispered.

“Because you’re mine now. And that’s what I was waiting for while I made Lorene hold that shitty empty apartment for me. I was waiting for a catalyst, a revelation.” She pressed a kiss to his sternum. “And I most definitely got it.” The pleasant ache between her legs was proof enough. “Also,” she added, “it would be weird if you lived with your girlfriend before even having a first date with her.”

Cassian huffed a laugh. “You have a point there. We have been moving backwards, haven’t we?”

Nesta nodded into his skin.

He got a little quiet. “Still,” he said after a moment. “I’ll miss you.”

“You’ll see me every day. I’ll be fifteen minutes away.”

“I’ll still miss you.”

“I know.”

“What does talking about guys have to do with my therapy?” Nesta squirms, getting restless with the topic.

“Lots of things,” Lana says, putting down her notepad. “It gets you comfortable with expressing your feelings to me, and it teaches me about how you view the world. Besides, therapy isn’t just a rehashing of past traumas, you know. We can talk about whatever you want here, especially if it makes you feel good.”

“Well, I want to talk about something else.” She’s not spending this much money by the hour just to talk about how much she likes Cassian— she can go to Cassian for that for free.

“Like what?” Lana asks smoothly.

She’s offering an opening, finally, to the real reason that Nesta’s here.

Nesta pulls at the sleeves of her sweatshirt, wondering where to start. “I feel like I’ve been growing up lately,” she says carefully. “I have all these new people in my life to be responsible for, and I’m— I want to do it right. But I’m worried I won’t have room for new things until I pack up some of my old shit, so that’s why I’m here, I guess. I don’t want to hold on to all of my old shit anymore.”

At Lana’s encouraging silence, she continues, “I spent my whole life stuck in a suffocating town, and as soon as I left, I got stuck in a relationship. By the time I knew what freedom felt like, I— I’d been left behind. Everyone I knew was moving onto bigger things and all I had was this shitbag of a past. So I got a new place and started law school and called it a fresh start, but now I’m here and I’m not sure if I ever got better.”

She takes a sharp breath after everything that’s spilled.

Lana purses her lips, letting the room absorb Nesta’s words. After a long moment, she says, “Just because bad things stop happening to someone, doesn’t mean they instantly get better. It’s a good thing that you’re recognizing that before stepping into new relationships, Nesta.”

Lana glances at the clock on the wall. “I’m afraid that’s all the time we have for today, but this was a productive first session.” She offers a small smile. “Same time next week?” She says it as if it isn’t already a done deal.

Nesta nods gratefully anyway, unable to say anything else. As soon as she’s out the door, a pent-up sigh escapes her. That wasn’t so bad.

***

Later that night, Nesta doesn’t miss Cassian’s wistful stare as he takes down the painting he got her from the fall festival. Nor does she miss how slowly he packs it away.

Once the bedroom she made her home is as sparse as the day she moved in, all her things packed away neatly in boxes, Nesta wraps her arms around Cassian and pulls him to the bed. There, she lets him hold her close, their breaths and limbs intertwining as they lie in thoughtful silence.

“I can’t believe I’ll never see this room again,” Nesta says quietly.

Cassian’s eyes widen in alarm. “What do you mean, never again?”

“I’ll be staying in your room whenever I visit, remember?” Her underwear already occupies a drawer in his closet.

Cassian visibly relaxes when he remembers, then smiles. “Right. Of course.”

She lets herself sink deeper into his embrace. “I just realized you’ve never seen my apartment before.” He was waiting at the front door of Lorene’s place while Nesta collected her things all those weeks ago, but she cringes at the thought of him visiting now. The clear wealth gap between her and Cassian doesn’t usually show, but it’ll be undeniable with the cramped room she calls an apartment. “Maybe it’s best if I move back in without your help. There might not even be space there for your huge body.”

“Sounds more appealing by the minute.” He’s not joking. He tilts up Nesta’s chin so she’s forced to meet his eyes. “I can’t wait to start partaking in your life the way you took over mine. Spending nights at your place, meeting your friends, riding in your car instead of mine.”

Nesta swallows.

“I’m gonna miss you like hell, but it’ll be for the best.”

He’s right: this is what’s best for their budding relationship right now. Moving out, creating even a little bit of distance— all of it is so they can finally learn each other as lovers instead of roommates. So when they do come back together, which Nesta firmly believes they will, it’ll be stronger than ever before.

Some of their shared sadness flits away at the truth of it. She only places her hand on his cheek, content to appreciate this view— this beautiful, hazel-shaded view— without further chitchat or goodbyes.

Cassian is not as fond of the silence. “I need to tell you something,” he says seriously after a few minutes.

After only a handful of days dating Cassian, Nesta knows what he’s going to say. “Don’t,” she warns, unamused.

He grins conspiratorially and leans in even closer, until their mouths are almost brushing. “You’re my everything, Nesta.”

“Oh my god, stop it.” She squirms out of his hold and gets up, tossing the blankets off herself.

“No, come back!” He makes a grab for her sleeve. “We have to use the bed one last time—”

But she’s already running off.

***

Cassian carefully arranges the canvas painting on the wall, taking a step back to determine if it’s hanging straight. The ruby and amber leaves of the landscape stand out against the dull teal walls of Nesta’s basement apartment, but he’s just getting started.

The rest of Nesta’s things are half-unpacked from their cardboard boxes, but instead of going for the important shit first, he finds the box he specifically marked FAVES in bold letters the night before.

While Nesta wrangles to get her clothes back into her old closet in the background, Cassian crouches and rips open the small box. There, lying atop his girlfriend’s favorite trinkets and personal items, is the framed photo he snuck in without her noticing.

It’s of the two of them at the fall festival, taken mere hours before their first kiss. Nesta is pressed up close to Cassian (her excuse being that it was cold), and a genuine light fills her eyes, one that Cassian never thought he’d be able to capture on camera. Cassian himself isn’t looking at the camera, but down at Nesta with wind-flushed cheeks and a distant smile. Making sure she’s having a good time, that she truly wants to be there with him in that moment.

He never realized how close they looked in that picture until he had it printed and framed, not long after Nesta announced she was moving out. He can’t believe he didn’t see it sooner.

Standing up, he places the photo on Nesta’s wooden dresser. Nesta still has her head in the closet, moving things around, but Cassian makes no announcement of his gift to her. She’ll notice it sooner or later.

He clears his throat. “Wanna take a break and order Chinese?”

Nesta pops her head out of the closet, her ponytail ruffled and eyes narrowed at him. “Have you even been helping this whole time?”

“Standing here and looking pretty is harder than it seems, but I don’t expect any credit from you,” he jokes. “Just let me buy you lunch.”

Nesta grumbles something he chooses not to hear, but straightens up and rubs her spine with a wince. “I need a fucking chiropractor,” she mutters.

Guilt shoots through Cassian at that small wince, and he resolves to finish organizing Nesta’s closet for her before the day is over. Nesta goes on, “So? Still determined to split your time between here and the cabin?” She gestures to the apartment with an arm.

It’s really just a glorified single room, with a rusty kitchenette in the corner, a hallway near the stairs that holds the bathroom, and Nesta’s bed pushed against one wall. It’s nothing special, but Cassian loves it. Mostly because he can already envision each new nook and cranny to take Nesta against, and how he wants to wake up in that too-small bed on days that he’s too lazy to drive home.

“It’s perfect,” he says simply. Thank you for sharing your home with me, is what he really means. Speaking of homes—

Cassian digs around in his pocket, finding and pulling out a newly-minted silver key. “I almost forgot to give you this.”

Nesta frowns, coming forward to take the key from him. He uses the closeness as an excuse to wrap his arms around her waist while she inspects the object.

She glances up at him, eyes softer than they were a moment ago, lips slightly parted. “You’re giving me a key to the cabin?”

He shrugs casually. “You should’ve gotten one a long time ago.” She used either Cassian’s key or the spare while she lived there.

Her mouth is still open, and she closes it once, twice, before finally saying, “I don’t have a key to my place for you.”

“But I can get one,” she adds quickly. “If you want it, that is.”

Of course he wants it, but he keeps his face carefully neutral. “Only if you want me to have one. We’re still new, and this is your personal space.” He emphasizes your.

Nesta purses her lips, then says, “I’ll think about it.”

Cassian’s shoulders slump in relief— relief that Nesta is being honest with him instead of doing something she isn’t yet ready for. He’ll take her honesty over an apartment key any day.

Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he smiles brightly and shoves her toward the bed. “If we’re getting dumplings again then you can’t steal mine.”

***

a/n: fair warning that ive never been to therapy, but in stories therapists are usually a mode for character exploration and development, which is what nesta's therapy will be for.

also im so glad i got to meet gwyn in acosf and im so excited to introduce her into this fic too!! if you have ideas for her origin story feel free to share because nothing is planned yet

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