#Kryptonians are aliens

[natalievoncatte]

Kara had a guilty pleasure, one she didn’t share with anyone. It would have been awkward, and besides, everyone- friends, family, Lena; they all would have mocked her, relentlessly. It was the first of September and Kara was bracing herself for six months of the most exquisite torture.

She wasn’t expecting it on Lena’s desk.

When she walked into the office, the scent hit her. It tickled something in her brain and set her nerves alight, cascading shivers of excitement running down her limbs.

Kryptonians, you see, are not human. They are aliens, and react to things, to stimuli, in ways humans do not. The most obvious implication of this is Kryptonite, or rather the Kryptonite radiation it emits, which is unique to Kara’s lost homeworld and is deadly poisonous to her while being essentially harmless to humans without both significant and prolonged exposure.

There were, however, other things that Kara responded to differently. Certain flavors were too intense; some things her peers found pleasant were overwhelming or inexplicably bitter or otherwise unpalatable. Her enhanced hearing, even without her powers active, made her sensitive to noises that a human wouldn’t even notice. The list went on and on.

One thing in particular, though, was especially… stimulating to her. It got her motor going, as it were. Not like that, of course. Ironically it had the same effect on her that caffeine had on humans, even in small quantities.

There was something in pumpkin spice that excited Kara. Just not like that.

Okay, maybe a little like that. Even the scent of it made her feel things, and there was a steaming hot cup of it on Lena Luthor’s desk.

Kara had been summoned over some editorial matter of little consequence, probably an excuse to chat. When she stepped into her office, Kara stopped dead because Lena reached across her desk and picked up that cup and Kara was already having trouble.

Lena was… Lena. She was dressed in thigh high boots and black jeans and a tight, low cut green sweater that revealed a generous swell of cleavage that immediately drew Kara’s brazen eye. She caught herself looking and quickly put a stop to it, but Lena was looking right at her, smoldering green eyes peering at her over the rim of that damned coffee cup.

Great Rao, Lena was beautiful. Her hair was swept over one shoulder, baring the elegant column of her neck and her sharp jawline. Her visible ear carried multiple piercings dripping with diamonds and there was a faint pink tinge to her pale cheek. The red of her lipstick was almost violent and she positively smoldered. One might have thought she was dolled up for a photo shoot.

Kara was staring at those lips as she took a sip of coffee, leaving a faint white stain on the white cup.

Such a visual feast with the mere scent of the spices in her coffee was enough to weaken Kara’s knees and make her secretly fidget her toes inside her shoes. It was only a quick chat, a five minute conversation, but it was excruciating trying to get through it like this.

“Earth to Kara,” Lena sighed.

Kara blinked. “Okay.”

“Okay, you’ll go?”

“Where am I going?”

Lena rolled her eyes.

“Okay, Kara, you’re benched.”

“Wait, what?”

Lena huffed. “Look, it’s noble, going days without sleep while you live your double life, and we did agree that Supergirl duties will take precedence over your work here… but I can see you’re exhausted. I can’t order you to stop rescuing cats from trees and helping old ladies with their taxes, but I can order you to take the rest of the week off from working here. Which you are. Starting now.”

Actually, Lena probably could order her to stop doing things. Lena could probably order to do anything with the spicy tang in her nostrils and the quivering weakness in her limbs as heat gathered low in her belly. Kara was glad that she had just been ordered out.

“Oh,” Lena said, “and stop at Noonan’s on your way out. I hear the pumpkin spice lattes are your favorite and well,” she gave her cup a little shake.

Kara decided she would not stop at Noonan’s.

She stopped at Noonan’s. She got a PSL and a pumpkin spice bear claw and a dozen pumpkin spice donuts and consumed them all in the span of five minutes once she set foot inside her loft, after which she spent the next thirty in the shower thinking about Lena’s pillowy red lips and how kissable they were and her pale skin and how badly she wanted to mark it as hers and she sort of spent an hour in a pumpkin spice fueled fugue, and then passed out on her bed buck-ass naked.

Which was where she still was when the knock came at the door.

Her head shot up from the bed and she realized that it was movie night and she was hosting. She had no movies picked out, no snacks, and no clothes.

What she did have was super-speed, and this had a spread of frozen snacks ready to go in the oven, and a stack of blu-rays to be voted on, and pants. She needed pants and probably a bra and definitely a shirt. Humans were weird about their torsos. Fortunately Kryptonians were, too. Kara was rather lucky that she hadn’t landed on a planet that considered shirts obscene.

There were at least two like that, which isn’t a lot, but it was more than you’d think.

Kara opened the door and greeted Alex and Kelly, ushering them in. Brainy and Nia were next.

Lena showed up last, dressed in one of her peculiar movie night fits- a stylish leather jacket over honest to god fluffy pajamas, like a fashion plate going to a slumber party. Her hair was down and wavy and she looked soft and inviting and Kara wanted to snuggle her relentlessly and was very glad that the pumpkin spice was largely out of her system.

Largely.

Oh.

Lena lifted the two six packs she was carrying, giving Kara a suggestive arch of her eyebrow. Lena liked to bring gifts when Kara hosted, usually wine. Tonight she had twelve chilled bottles of… pumpkin spice beer.

Kara wanted to scream. Or possibly moan. Or possibly make Lena moan and maybe spank her a little.

Fuck!

“Hi-hi,” said Kara.

“Hi yourself,” said Lena. “Mind if I come in, or do you want to drink these right here?”

“C-come in,” said Kara.

“Eyyyyyy,” said Alex, as she saw the six packs. “The spice must flow!”

“The spice must flow,” Kelly repeated.

“Chai Hulud,” Nia said, in a faux-deep voice.

“I believe it is “Shai Hulud,” said Brainy.

“Sure, honey,” said Nia, patting his knee.

“You gonna hand those out?” said Alex.

“These are for our host,” said Lena. “Kara has plenty of spirits in her fridge.”

Alex busted out laughing, confusing the others.

Kara remained stone-faced.

Movie night then went on as normal. Everyone took seats, the first movie was voted on, snacks were enjoyed and beers were had. The pumpkin bottles sat in their cardboard holders in the fridge, untouched.

Until they got into the second movie, and Lena sauntered over from the kitchen carrying two bottles, and thrust one into Kara’s hands as she wedged herself in between Kara and Nia, casually tossing her legs over Kara’s lap.

Kara steadfastly did not look. She would not look. She would not look. Surely Lena was just making herself comfortable and private hadn’t noticed that the top couple of buttons on her pajama top had popped themselves and she was showing quite a generous amount of…

Kara looked away sharply. She had looked.

“Do the thing, darling,” said Lena.

“Do the thing! Do the thing! Do they thing!” Nia began to chant.

Sighing, Kara took her bottle and Lena’s, and popped the caps loose with a flock of her thumbs. Lena squealed in delight and Kara realized that actually drinking this concoction was an amazingly terrible idea.

Especially since Lena was basically in her lap now.

Kara tried not to drink, but the hint of that spicy scent from the beer was enough to make every nerve ending tingle and start a fire in her belly. She took a long pull on it and quickly realized she’d drained the bottle in one go.

Lena, grinning, stood up. Kara watched every sway of her hips as she marched to the kitchen, bent to grab another bottle from the bottom shelf of the fridge, and sashayed back to shamelessly plop right in Kara’s lap and offer her the new bottle.

The little display has gotten at least Alex’s attention, and she looked somehow at once horrified and amused and whispered to Kelly, who snorted.

Nia picked up on it next, after Kara had downed her fourth one of the cured pumpkin brews and her brain was sloshing around in sweet cinnamony goodness.

She was running into a considerable problem. Lena was curled up in her lap, draped across her in fact, a soft weight that was driving her absolute insane even as the scent of Lena’s… of Lena mingled with the spices singing in her veins. She forgot the movie. She forgot the existence of everything but Lena, and barely noticed when Alex announced,

“Guys, it’s late. I think we better head out so that Kara and Lena can clean up.”

“Perhaps we should help,” Brainy suggested.

“Nah, let’s go,” said Nia, who then muttered, “seriously Querl we need to go.”

Kara blinked and watched them all pile out, Alex shooting Lena a knowing look before rolling her eyes and closing the door.

Two seconds after the door closed, Lena twisted languidly in Kara’s lap, and was now no longer sitting in her lap but straddling her.

Kryptonians, you see, are not human. They are aliens, and react to things, to stimuli, in ways humans do not. They also have anatomical structures that humans do not, something that was was currently causing Kara to blush furiously, because Lena was well… sitting on it.

“I can explain,” Kara squeaked.

The look Lena gave her would have been devastating, pumpkin spice or no pumpkin spice. Lena’s face filled her vision as Lena placed her hands on Kara’s sides and rolled her hips, dragging a groan out of her.

“Is that explanation going to include a hands on demonstration?” said Lena. “I may need a few rounds before I fully understand.”

Kara swallowed hard. “You mean… you w-want to…”

“Kara,” Lena sighed. “How is someone who’s been flirting with me for five years so bad at flirting?”

Kara stared at her.

“Just, um, to clarify, you’re flirting with me, right?”

“I’m sitting in your lap unbuttoning my top, darling. I believe that qualifies.”

“You’re what?”

Lena grinned and swept her fingers down her chest, popping the rest of the buttons in sequence. The pajama top suddenly hung lose, baring the lush inner curves of her breasts while obscuring the rest of her in an agonizing promise.

Kara, finally, after years of this, took the hint and had Lena relieved of her fuzzy pajamas by the time they hit the bed.

The next morning, or rather next afternoon when Lena woke up, Kara looked over at her. Her eyes had just opened and she was grinning ear to ear.

“Lena?” said Kara.

“Yes? Before we go again I’m going to need a protein shake and some supplements.”

Kara felt her ears burning as her cheeks heated.

“Did you know about the pumpkin spice thing?”

“Pumpkin spice thing?” said Lena.

“Alex told you, right?”

Lena pursed her lips.

“Nope.”

“Cat Grant?”

“No, although I did ask her and she said you, and I quote, ‘creamed your khakis’ in front of her one time.”

“Then who?”

Lena grinned.

“I went to Clark to ask him the right way to go about seeking your attentions. Lois overheard and pulled me aside. Apparently you two share the same weaknesses.”

“My only weakness is you, baby.”

“Oh, it’s baby now, is it?”

“Yup,” said Kara.

[blorb-el]

Do you think Clark makes some secondary larynx alien sounds when he’s fucked out of his mind

yes 😌and also when he is doing the fucking😌

[t00thpasteface]

talked about sharks feeling heartbeats in marine zoology today

[hypewinter]

Danny raises Superman au

So we all know that Superman touched down in Kansas and was adopted by the Kents and bla bla bla. But you know what state also has farms and is only like 600 miles away? Illinois.

So Danny is chilling in the countryside, enjoying his sweet, peaceful early retirement when an alien pod, that's a little a lot off course, suddenly crashes near his house. When he checks it out, there's a baby inside. Welp looks like he's a father now. No way is he risking the government getting their greedy little mits on this precious ray of sunshine.

Clark grows up with a father who teaches him early on how to control his powers and use them for good (They may or may not stop a robbery or two occasionally). He also gets two cool aunts. One is free spirited and always bringing him souvenirs from her travels. The other is very grounded and teaches him many techniques to deal with his conflicting emotions (his father is not happy when he uses said techniques on him).

Danny for his part is happy we his son develops a support system like he did. They can even actively help him beat up the villains! He's overjoyed at the man Clark becomes and even happier when he brings home an ace reporter who knows how shifty the government can be. He might be already saving up for their wedding but who can say?

[shroudedmoon]

Kinda tame today but I procrastinated a lot lmao

Day 3: Alien Biology

I love love love the headcanon that kryptonians purr.. also did I mention I'm weak for pointy teef and ears..

[nelkcats]

Superman doesn't know how to curse

So, Clockwork had sent him to another dimension. No problem with that, he actually liked to explore the different dimensions, though he wondered what "lesson" was there for him to learn.

He avoided all nearby beings (he didn't want to face them, even though he had so many questions for the Martian). His plan was going spectacularly well until he tripped over a chair and hit his foot. The pain was immense and he just started cursing.

Now, Jazz was very sensitive about the "we don't swear in this house" part since he was little so, well, he had to get creative and start swearing in languages ​​she didn't understand. Alien languages ​​he had known in the Infinite Realms.

The first thing that gave away the halfa wasn't the lack of invisibility or the Watchtower-wide intruder alert. No, what gave him away was an embarrassed Superman who didn't know how to explain to his teamates that yes, that boy was speaking in Krypton language, and no, he couldn't translate because he didn't want to repeat what he was saying, but no, it wasn't bad.

Conner and Kara who were visiting laughed at Clark's face, he looked completely mortified. Bruce's insistence on knowing exactly what the boy was saying wasn't helping him. While Conner didn't know as much of the language as the other two Supers, he could tell a curse word when he heard it.

Danny looked up to find many individuals looking at him uncertainly, he chuckled, noticing that a man with bat ears was staring at him and a boy in blue pajamas couldn't bear to look at him.

It was the moment where he realized that his invisibility had failed him, so he did the only thing he could think of: he raised his hand in greeting. And disappeared immediately after.

[its-toast-time]

Kryptonians are predator species that traditionally hunted using endurance, stalking their prey for days and miles with single minded focus. Evolutionarily, that intensity never really faded. Furthermore, Kryptonians often inherently connected interests to purpose and thus to personality. I mean, in Krypton’s later half of existence they literally started breeding Kryptonians in a caste system that designated purpose at birth, obviously these beings meant for one thing are going to be invested in that one thing with their whole kryptussy. Kal-El might have been a natural birth but his parents weren’t. His grand parents weren’t. He definitely inherited that interests=purpose=personality psychological pipeline.

This is all to say that Clark Kent has been known to exhibit very very normal Kryptonian behaviors and psychology but comes off as wildly autistic to humans. That man doesn’t ever just focus. He hyperfocuses. He doesn’t have hobbies, he has special interests and obsessions. Bless him.

[ijustthinkhesneat]

So don’t get me wrong I love Henry Cavil’s Superman , but I’ve always imagined Clark to be like less human…

First off I think Clark’s proportions would be just like a little to perfect. Like the silhouette of a bodybuilder but like if you look to long the proportions are just barely not human. Like his chest with verse his waist is chest a little to broad and his waist is just a little to thin. His muscles are like way too aesthetic for someone how doesn’t hit the gym. His arms are maybe just a few centimeters beyond what is normal. the cleft in his chin is a little to deep, his hair doesn’t move enough when the wind is blowing, his skin looks like it’s from an Instagram filter. Like chad but from the uncanny valley.

I also love the slightly feral Kryptonian interpretations. His canines are too long and look like fangs, his finger nails grow to sharp tips, he has reflective eyes.

Like he is objectively not human looking if you look for too long but everyone ignores it because Clark is such a sweet silly midwestern boy who is objectively attractive and there is nothing strange about him at all!

[batbusiness-schooldropout]

I have an idea about Kryptonians.

Since the sun is very important to them, they all intrinsically know where the closest sun is in relation to them and what kind it is. A blind Kryptonian could find their way outside and tell you what time it is, no problem.

Those red sun lamps? Those make them confused. It's like their krypton-lizard brains are saying "Sun right above. Bad sun. But good sun over there. Why 2 suns? Shouldn't be 2 suns."

[timblrdrake]

Afternoon Mr Drake-Wayne,

I understand you're considered quite a gifted little computer expert, especially in compsec. I've recently acquired @officialdailyplanet and I'm interested in branching into some more extreme investigative journalism.

Let me know if you would be interested in contracted work, and it's so wonderful to see you've truly bounced back after the unfortunate incident with your parents.

Lex Luthor he/they

hi there.

i’m interested, but i’m curious as to what you mean by ‘more extreme investigative journalism’. provided more details i’d consider it.

thank you.

[natalievoncatte]

Alex worked the skin of her forehead with her fingers, angrily kneading the flesh in a vain attempt to suppress a pounding headache.

“I’m telling you, I’m fine,” Kara insisted.

She was not fine, damn it! Kryptonite exposure was serious, even if it had no apparent, immediate effects. The little chunk of vibrant purple rock was currently in a lead-lined chamber where Brainy was mercilessly prodding at its secrets, trying to figure out exactly what it did other than make Kara sweat profusely when she was within ten feet of it.

“I don’t feel sick. What’s the big deal?”

“Red Kryptonite didn’t make you sick at first, either,” said Alex. “You’re not leaving the Tower until I’m certain you’re not going to track down Cat Grant and fling her off the nearest roof.”

Kara, seated on her hospital bed in the med bay, crossed her arms and pouted theatrically. “That was one time.”

She sounded a little brittle, probably because they didn’t talk about that. Well, they did -Kara cried for hours- but afterwards the whole thing became a sore spot and it was clear they they weren’t going to talk about it again. Alex could hear the little crack in Kara’s voice, the touch of strain that signaled how on edge she was.

“Running off and hiding won’t make it any less real, kiddo,” Alex sighed. “Once we’re sure you can go, but no Supergirl for at least a week. I don’t know if what that stuff did to you, but I don’t want to risk your powers shutting off while you’re thirty thousand feet up, or something.”

Kara huffed. Fine.

It was an abundance of caution, to be sure, but the others could pick up the slack. Kara had taken breaks before, and the world didn’t fall apart. Sometimes Alex wanted to just grab her and shake her for all the good it would do. Kara deserved some time off. She deserved to be a person too.

“What’s going on?”

Alex looked up and tried to conceal her relief as Lena walked into the room. Alex liked this new Lena a lot more, the Lena who ran a charitable foundation and didn’t straighten her hair anymore and wore hoodies most of the time. This Lena was friend-shaped, as it were, and put her at ease.

Almost.

“Kara was exposed to a new form of Kryptonite, and…”

And she was off the bed.

Kara was already on her feet. Her pupils were so dilated that her eyes were almost black, the blue almost absent. She was staring at Lena with such an intensity that Alex was afraid she was about to attack her.

Lena looked panicked, but not by the Kryptonian staring her down. “What? Where is it? I need to see it right now, what if…” Lena trailed off, her face going slack for just a moment.

Alex stared at her. What the fresh hell was this?

“Guys?” said Alex. “What’s wrong with… you…”

Kara stalked forward, walking in a hip-popping sashay that would have made a Victoria’s Secret model blush, surging into Lena’s personal space, and… sniffed.

Then sniffed again.

Kara was smelling her.

“Uh,” said Alex.

Lena looked up at her -in flat shoes she was noticeably shorter- and sniffed back. Alex’s jaw went slack.

“Okay,” said Alex. “I’m going to need one of you to explain why you’re doing… that. Like right now.”

They both ignored her. Lena slipped in close, ducking under Kara’s chin, and sniffed at her again. It looked quite a bit like she was about to press her mouth to Kara’s throat, which was both shocking and… seriously, five fucking years of these idiots shooting and missing was bad enough, but right in front of her?

“Hey,” Alex said, taking a step towards the door. “Uh, we good?”

Kara wrapped Lena up in her powerful arms and nuzzled her nose into Lena’s hair, her chest thrumming with a loud purring sound.

“I’m in the room,” Alex deadpanned.

“Alex,” Brainy called, rushing up the hall.

A powerful… scent, or maybe an odor, washed over Alex and she nearly gagged. Whatever it was, it was making Lena try to climb Kara like a tree. The moment Lena popped one of the snaps on Kara’s cape and it fell halfway off her back, Alex bolted for the door and yanked it shut behind her as she stumbled into the hallway.

Brainy was outside, snd Nia was with him.

“Alex, I have good news. The radiation from the lavender Kryptonite sample appears to be entirely benign, although curiously it seems to have activated some anatomical peculiarities that appear to be, so to speak, left over from the evolutionary ancestors of Kryptonians.”

Alex groaned. “Such as?”

“Scent glands, and a peculiar ability to-“

“Guys,” said Nia. “What is that noise?”

Brainy paused, focusing. “I believe that Lena just addressed Kara as…”

“Did she say ‘daddy’?” said Nia.

“Shut up!” Alex barked, slapping her hands over her ears. “I am not hearing this, tralalalalalalala I’m going to the bar!”

“Yeah, I’m coming too,” said Nia.

Brainy turned, listening.

“Evidently, so is Lena.”

“I hate my life” Alex muttered.

[blorb-el]

lil snippet [376 words] of tooth rotting established relationship superbat fluff set in the purring au [kryptonians purr, that’s basically all you need to know] sometime after tacere and sometime before unnamed and still unplotted sequel. its pillow talk but g rated

"Bruce," Clark murmurs. "If you don't stop doing that I'm going to start purring on you."

Bruce smiles lazily and continues to card his fingers through Clark's hair, enjoying the loose-limbed weight of his partner resting across his chest, satisfied and warm. Clark makes a muffled nmrgh sound and presses his face a little more into Bruce's body. God, he's getting nuzzled. Maybe Clark wasn't-

Oh. No, he wasn't joking. Bruce feels it before he hears it, a low, slow vibration against his torso. He continues to stroke his fingers through Clark's hair, and a slow dawn of happiness rises in his body. Clark feels so safe with him that he lets himself purr. Bruce watches Clark's shoulders relax even further after a few moments. He hadn’t even thought that was possible. The man’s practically liquid. Nothing short of the world ending could stop him continuing to be here, continuing to tease Clark’s soft hair between his fingers as Clark’s heart-warm body rumbles with contentment draped over his own. God, Bruce wishes he could purr back.

After a few minutes, Clark turns his head, resting his chin on Bruce’s chest, looking up to him languidly. The mate markings on his cheeks and forehead are glowing faintly, and a smile traces the corners of his mouth and eyes as the rumbling purr continues. Bruce diverts his hand for a moment to stroke Clark’s cheekbone with his thumb, feeling the line of greater warmth on the marking, and Clark closes his eyes. Bruce tries not to compare it to petting a dog or a cat. It’s Clark. He’s better. Although…

“Hey,” Bruce murmurs, and watches the sweep of Clark’s thick eyelashes as those unearthly blue eyes open. He slowly blinks at Clark, feeling a little like an idiot and a lot in love. Clark looks puzzled for a moment but then, his eyes brighten and he snorts, his stupid smothered laugh he doesn’t do around anyone else.

“You dorrrk,” he says. The effect is completely ruined by his sappy smile and the slight flip on the r, persisting from his rumbly purr. Bruce, unnatural contentedness lightening his whole being, grins at Clark, and Clark rolls his eyes and then slow blinks back at Bruce. “I love you too.”

[goaheadandgetinthebog]

so i was thinking today about how so much human 'speech' is actually based on non-verbal queues. little eye movements, head movements, the actual way your mouth moves. there's far more to it than just words. and when it's really wrong we know. but when it's close, really close, but not quite there. our brains notice. we don't know what we've noticed, or noticed the lack of, but Something is Wrong. and so out brains set of the klaxons. and this is known as the uncanny valley.

other animals like cats and dogs have this to, but it's different for different animals. different head movements, eye movements.

and so would probably be different for kryptonians.

clark and jon were brought up here so would have adopted human speech patterns. kon would have had them downloaded in his brain.

but kara would not. (neither would chris. hey chris!). she would have a kryptonian way of speaking, which would be vastly different. and would not include all the little things that humans do.

so i really think that for those first few years, before she fully integrated and could pass as a human, talking to kara would set of the uncanny valley effect in most people. there would be Something about her that didn't fit. she looked like a human but something was Wrong. a lot of people, both in the jl and civilians, would be creeped out in her presence.

i hc not kon though. he's used to weirdness. maybe not jon either.

[daiwild]

*squeezes*

[bearforceone3]

revisited my old kon design, i still like the pink and green color scheme

[zal-cryptid]

DC multiverse - Supergirl