#It's the same as me saying a bisexual is in a straight relationship. It doesn't make her straight.

[is-this-really--life]

The complete opposition to umbrella terms for bi women and lesbians is becoming transparent. I think some of you don't like umbrella terms because you don't like to admit we have anything in common as women that love women.

[ariossarts]

Man, I'm so tired of seeing the Sexuality discourse under the BG3 or Astarion tags. The amount of people posting that it's "Irritating" or "Disgusting" to see him with a female partner is rediculous, and straight up bi/pan-phobic.

It doesn't matter if Astarion has had more male partners in the past, and it doesn't matter if he's more flamboyant than the other male companions/characters. That does not make a person 'gay-coded.' To say he is strictly gay is to erase his canonical sexuality.

Astarion is Pansexual, as said by his writer and Niel, the actor that portrayed him. Pansexuality by definition, "Pansexuality is sexual, romantic, or emotional attraction towards people of all genders, or regardless of their sex or gender identity. Pansexual people might refer to themselves as gender-blind, asserting that gender and sex are not determining factors in their romantic or sexual attraction to others."

As a Pansexual person, it's been great representation to see that all of the companions are Bi/Pan, because not often is that given to us in media. I am in a "Hetero" relationship, but that does not erase the fact I am a proud Queer person, and it doesn't negate my same-sex relationships in the past. That doesn't remove my sexuality in anyway -- I am who I am.

Astarion isn't Gay. Astarion isn't Hetero. Astarion is Astarion, he likes what he likes, and people need to stop erasing his sexuality and/or trauma to fit what they want him to be.

Do some research on Pansexuality and Bisexuality, and stop the discourse of erasing Bi/Pan people from our communities. We are unapologetically ourselves, and if Astarion existed for #realzies, he would be to. Astarion has no limits to who he falls for, because that's the beauty of Pansexuality. Pans people fall in love with who you are at your core, not what's between your legs, and that to me is Astarions whole story in a nutshell. You saved him, you helped him, you made him realize he was worth more than his body.

In the great words of the Pale Elf himself; "Oh Come off. You're Wonderful. I don't care what you look like. What you cannot do, is make my decisions for me. I've had more than enough of that in my life"

Sincerely, a Pans Astarion enjoyer.

[idontknowanametouse]

The straw hats are just. So queer guys

Luffy is aroace and nonbinary and just uses any pronouns because. Just look at him, please. He wouldn't know what's gender or romantic or sexual attraction even if they slapped him in the face. He also is the definition of the whole "people perceive me as male in the same way they perceive something non-human as just a little guy"

Zoro? Trans (he walks with his tits off, for gods' sake) and super gay. He is, like, 100% gay. No discussions. (and also dating Sanji, and yes, partners with conflicting labels are still their labels, stfu exclusionists)

Nami is, as quoted by a person whose username I forgot (I'm sorry if you read this just tell me it's you and I'll add your url): the lesbianest of lesbians in the story of lesbianism for lesbians by lesbians. And she obviously has her princess girlfriend, Vivi.

Usopp seems to be straight, but, in fact, they only felt attraction towards Kaya and also are 100% nonbinary, just like Luffy. Very he/they vibes.

Sanji is bisexualest person alive. And also transfem bigender, no, I accept no criticism, the absolute she/he.

Chopper does not know what is gender, because, for gods' sake, he's a reindeer. Obviously he doesn't care which pronouns you use to him.

Robin? Bisexual and trans queen. Look at her. Look at her backstory. She is so queer coded, guys, you don't know. She is also dating Franky, they are the absolute t4t couple.

Franky is straight with the biggest ever love for Robin and also trans, he modified his body to be a super-man like.

Brook is way too nonbinary for me to say it. Just look at them. Your they/them lovely grandpa.

Jinbei is, too, super aroace and I don't take criticism. Just look at him, he's got the vibes.

Vivi is, as before stated, a lesbian. That is pretty obvious, though.

Yamato is canonically trans, bitches (affectionate). And also very Gay. Definitely in some sort of relationship with Ace.

Bonney is transfem demigirl, trust me, Oda told me himself, and she came out first to her dad.

Law is transmasc nonbinary, the absolute they/he, they just got that vibe. And also very aroace, wouldn't know what the fuck is attraction even if it slapped him in the face (just like Luffy, that's why they are BFFs)

[bpcr3yes]

Hello again, lately I've been obsessed with Valeria Garza and I decided to write some headcanons about her because I'm tired of only talking to bots 💀

VALERIA GARZA HEADCANONS (realisct maybe?) (a little subjective??? I don't know)

She is a woman with a strong personality, fearless, focused, stubborn, arrogant.

She is el sin nombré, owner of the biggest cartel in Latina America, she certainly had many women. She has a preference for chubby women, she likes to squeeze, you would probably be an anti-stress ball for her.

I have a lot of doubts about her being bisexual or lesbian (or straight if we could even add that option) but I believe she is a lesbian, a furious one at that, about her relationship with Alejandro I believe she used him (she appears to have a personality narcissistic and manipulative) she used him to get information so her plan could work.

I believe that when she was a soldier in the armed forces, she was totally confident and determined, many men were around her because she was beautiful (and hot) so she had a razor instead of a tongue I believe, she was always shouting insults or belittling men, only with her commanders she was more... well-behaved.

In the interrogation part, we see her tell Alejandro that she didn't take orders anymore, but then you can understand that he was her commander, and she was certainly angry with him.

After she became owner of the cartel, her life became extremely stressful, she doesn't trust any of her men (I think Diego was an exception) she believes if something needs to be done it's perfectly fine to have a woman do it because she thinks men they don't think.

I like to think that she has a trophy wife that she only takes to events like parties, bars and meetings. The wife's only job is to stand there being pretty and not say a single thing.

Now let's talk about this truly passionate woman of ours.

If you are in a long-term relationship (5 or 3 years) she would be completely in love with you. The type of wife who comes home and gives you a long kiss and hug, to make up for lost time.

Every month you go out to eat at a fancy restaurant and then spend the night together. (a long night I can say)

In public, like at events or on the street when you go out together, she rarely shows any type of physical touch, she prefers to remain secret. When she's in the Cartel it's totally different, she makes a point of kissing and grabbing you in front of everyone without caring, she would probably touch you sensually in front of her men but if someone is bold enough to think they can have fun together, She shoots twice. One on the head and the other on the penis.

She is a possessive woman, she would politely (not so politely) ask you to have her initials tattooed on your hip. She would also have a tattoo about you on the back of her neck.

about Family, this part is a little confusing when I create the headcanons. Most of the hcs I read said that she had mommy issues, I believe she was a daddy's girl, while her mother was narcissistic to the extreme, always belittling her for simple things.

Her mother probably had a lot of problems with medication. I also think that Valeria always had an attitude, never lowering her head to anyone. No matter the occasion.

Her family on her father's side loved her and disliked her mother, she probably had kind and caring grandparents and aunts. I like to think that she spent a lot of time with her grandmother, cooking, helping her with everything.

She must have had cousins too, she and them would turn the house upside down.

There's a part in the interrogation scene where Alejandro is saying that she ruined the army and he says "and your brother too?" It makes me think that Valeria joined the army to prove that she had the same value as her older brothers (to prove to her mother that she was capable too)

I imagine her brothers being strong, big and courageous lieutenants, she could be close to one of the two, while she didn't even make a point of saying good morning to the other.

that's it for now ♡

[super-who-locked-me-in-here]

Pieces of media my mom has seen and the popular MLM ships in them that she doesn't think are gay:

MCU - Stucky (note that she does get a kick out of Stony stuff and she believes wholeheartedly that those two hate fucked in a not-filmed scene of Avengers 2012 so this is not about her thinking "oh Captain America is so straight-laced because he's the ideal American man" or anything)

MCU - Poolverine (she's fully aware and accepting of the fact that both Logan and Wade are canonically queer characters but she thinks all the flirting Wade did with Logan in the newest movie didn't necessarily mean anything because "he talks like that to everyone". Side note though: while she believes Wade should be with Vanessa, she does think that Logan can and should shoot his shot with Wade after Vanessa inevitably dies since he and Wade are both immortal. It's just that she thinks Wade should get his happy ending with Vanessa first.)

MCU - Lokius ("Mama have you ever seen a man fix another man's tie like that" "No but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen! I wouldn't know though; it's been like 15 years since I worked a corporate job.")

Sonyverse/Marvel - Symbrock ("They literally have a symbiotic relationship. That doesn't make them gay." So I showed her the comics where Eddie calls Venom "love" and gives birth to Venom's babies and she said "Fine you win but please never show me alien man birth ever again."

Supernatural - Destiel ("They're like Steve and Bucky! They're brothers in arms! They've been through hell and back together!" Note that she only watched through season 5 but she does know about a lot of their later interactions because I told her about them)

House M.D. - Hilson ("Dot I watched that whole show and they were never anything more than good friends" "What about when House admitted to thinking about Wilson during sex? What about that whole episode where they pretended to be gay for each other to prove a point to a neighbor and Wilson proposed? What about that whole episode where Wilson had to furnish the apartment and House told him not to let a woman tell him what to do but Wilson let House tell him what to do? What about the whole ending?" "Why can't two men just be close enough friends to joke about that stuff with each other?"

Real life - Me and my best friend of the same gender orientation who I've kissed multiple times and have had a requited crush on for years that neither of us have ever persued for logistical reasons (I literally used me and this friend to try and prove my mom wrong about Stucky and Destiel. I asked her if she thought me and this friend were like brothers and she said yes with a straight face)

Sherlock - Johnlock (to be fair this is the BBC ship name, but she doesn't think any iteration of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson are the slightest bit gay. "They're business partners and roommates.")

Our Flag Means Death - BlackHands (Should go ahead and say that I'm not really a BlackHands shipper myself; we both really enjoyed Stede and Ed's romance in the show. BUT it takes so much away from Izzy's character and his development if you don't acknowledge that he was jealous of Stede and in love with Ed, at least a little. My mom thought Izzy was just an extremely loyal first mate.)

Also, for the record, I'm not trying to call my mom out as homophobic. I'm queer and so are two of my siblings and she's very supportive of us. There are gay romcoms she enjoys like Our Flag Means Death and Red, White, and Royal Blue. The reason I'm making this list is because I think it's really funny how she doesn't understand the concept of queerbaiting (not that all of the above listed ships are queerbaiting). She thinks things are either explicitly straight or explicitly queer (whether it's gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc) and cannot comprehend the idea that some character relationships are deliberately pushing the boundaries of straight friendships into queer relationships to get more minority viewers and I think her explanations are funny.

[chadchadsonthesnail]

Hey! If you are queer and you don't think bi people, pan people, asexual people, or aromantic people are valid? Go fuck yourself! If you don't think Heterosexual Aromantic people and Heteroromantic Asexual people are members of the LGBTQIA+ community? Go fuck yourself! If you say "I wouldn't date a bisexual/biromantic person because they are attracted to/have dated [the opposite gender]."? Go fuck yourself! If I see any lesbian say that shit, I block them! Because guess what? There are also lesbians who have dated guys! I'm one of them! I did that before I realized I wasn't attracted to them! So go fuck yourself! If you say that trans people/people under the trans umbrella aren't valid? Go fuck yourself! If you think that alloromantic asexuals are not valid? Go fuck yourself! If you think that allosexual aromantic people aren't valid? Go fuck yourself! If you think someone isn't a valid lesbian because they think some men look pretty/are aesthetically attractive? Go fuck yourself! Same for the other way around with gay men finding a women pretty/aesthetically attractive! And anyone who says "oh you aren't bi/pan because you are in a relationship with a man/women, or because when asked you listed more men/women that you were attracted to than the other gender, so you are just gay/straight!" No! Go fuck yourself! If you say that being nonbinary, or having any gender identity other than trans man or trans woman doesn't make you a part of the community, and that the only valid gender identities outside of cis woman and cis man are trans woman or trans man? Go fuck yourself!

We are ALL facing hate, and we do not deserve to get hate from within! Because we are all valid!

If you hate on people like this, you are just as bad as homophobes and transphobes, because JUST LIKE THEM, you are hating on someone for their attraction, or for their gender identity!

It's fine if your attraction is mainly towards cisgender women or men because both the gender identity AND the physical body parts are part of your attraction. You didn't make that choice, you aren't excluding them out of hate. But if it's towards cisgender people solely to exclude trans people? Yeah, go fuck yourself. Because you don't control what factors into your attraction, so having something like that be part of your attraction is fine. If your attraction is towards both people who identify as female AND people who have a vulva, or vice versa, yeah, you do you, you didn't choose for the presence or lack of a primary or secondary sex characteristic, that's just a part of your attraction. But the MOMENT the intent is to exclude trans people, you are just being an asshole.

So yeah, if you think that any of the identities I mentioned aren't valid? Let me know so I can block you!

Everyone else, if you are part of any of these identities, as someone who falls under a few of these categories, (Asexual, Asexual Alloromantic, Falling under the nonbinary umbrella) I will always accept you. As long as you yourself are not being exclusionary. You are JUST as valid as anyone else!

Signed, an Asexual Lesbian Demigirl

[tippenfunkaport]

"She-Ra is bad bisexual rep because all the bi/pan characters end up in m/f relationships!"

Not true! Perfuma is bi/pan and she ends up with Scorpia!

"Oh, well I like to headcanon Perfuma as a lesbian."

...so then you understand that's not the show's fault, right? That that's just a problem you made up in your head?

-

Excuse me a second, I need to scream about this...

Because this has come up over and over (esp on Twitter and TikTok) with people who want to claim that every bi/pan SPOP character ends up in a m/f relationship... by conveniently pretending Perfuma is not canonically bi/pan herself. And every time they are asked to elaborate why they are ignoring her canon status, they give the same answer: that they consider Perfuma a lesbian because now that she's with a woman, she's "not bi anymore"

And... yeah... you know that's not how it works, right? That being bi/pan is not just a phase you get over? That a bi/pan woman dating another woman doesn't suddenly make her a lesbian any more than it makes a bi/pan person dating someone of the opposite gender magically straight?

The person you are currently dating does not change your bi/pan status. Ever. And insisting it does, especially just so you can score some points by making up an issue about a show to be mad about, is super GD harm harmful to the real bi/pan people in your life.

(This is the exact same thing The Owl House fandom does with Lumity and why Dana had to make Luz present a whole slideshow in the cartoon reminding everyone she is still very much bi even though Amity is a lesbian. TOH fans kept insisting because Luz is dating Amity now, she's a lesbian. Nope. Her and Amity can be married for a billion years and that wouldn't change Luz's orientation.)

"But I heard that someone's roommate's cousin who worked with someone on the show once liked a fanart that showed Scorfuma with the lesbian flag so it's basically canon!"

First of all, the legend of this grows daily and I think it's really telling that this archival obsessed fandom only talks about this mythical like and yet has never been able to produce a single screenshot of it.

But for the sake of argument, let's say that this really happened and actually exists, that someone related to the show, however distantly, liked fanart once that implied Perfuma was a lesbian somehow. That still doesn't make it canon. People related to the show and even ND himself have liked and reblogged all sorts of stuff that isn't canon, including g/a, and have been very clear that the only canon is what happens within the show itself.

And, in the show, Perfuma is canonically bi/pan. We see her crushing on Bow, She-Ra, Huntara and Scorpia. The fact that people want to pretend the Bow thing never happened when he's the only character we see her actually date over the run of the show AND it's a major Season 1 plot point is wild to me and just shows the lengths people will go for bi/pan erasure.

And I get that some people enjoy using Perfuma to tell a story about comphet or coming out as a lesbian later in life and I am fully in favor of doing your thing with your headcanons in fanworks. But when it reaches the point it has now where fans are attacking other fans for saying Perfuma is bi/pan or attacking the show for not having any bi/pan character in same sex relationships when Perfuma is CANONICALLY bi/pan is ridiculous. 

Keep in mind that your headcanon is literally just something you made up in your head. It's pretend. Fun, yes, but NOT something you can use as justification to attack people over!

Especially when it's something like this that causes real world harm by perpetuating harmful stereotypes about bi/pan people being "just a phase" or a temporary state that changes based on who you date.

[yukishirostar]

So people are talking about a post in the Zolu tag by a certain tumblr user in regards to their issues with Zolu as a ship. They shall be unnamed because i dont wish to bring attention to them and instead just want to focus on their arguments because they're not the first people to make some of these points and so this is also an opportunity for me to talk about these things (a tweet is going around on Twitter containing these screenshots with the username so you can find it there if you need to anyway).

The way this person dismisses the relationship between Zoro and Luffy as a result of needing to pair gay Zoro with someone is too laughable, they must be very fit in order to be able to do these mental gymnastics. I believe that many people who are going on about the Zolu scenes in the OPLA were already Zolu shippers who were familiar with the original story and are enjoying the moments because they were well, really good Zolu moments? And there is actually, shockingly, many good Zolu moments in the original story too which is why many people ship them. Wild, I know.

Then there's 'straight-washed Sanji'. Equally if not more of a bizarre thing to believe. I might make some people mad especially the Sanji stans out there who constantly insist on the 'repressed queer' narrative with his character, but Sanji is written pretty explicitly to be seen as a cisgender and heterosexual character. The way you say with your whole chest that Luffy is 'canonically' aroace but don't acknowledge that Sanji is 'canonically' cishet is beyond hypocritical. If you believe Sanji looking like a 'misogynistic straight man' is different from the way he is written in canon then maybe you should go back and reread/rewatch series with your eyes open this time. If you wish to headcanon him with the frankly offensive repressed bisexual/transgender cliché then go ahead, but that is clearly not the intention Oda has with his character.

There's also the fact that aroace people can uh. Be in relationships. Get married. Have children. Did it occur to you that many people who ship Zolu ship them as an ace couple or-

First thing I want to say here, as a trans man who is 'mlm', can other dudes stop with this idea that women or fem-aligned individuals enjoying homosexual relationships between two men is inherently fetishising or that as a masc-aligned individual your enjoyment of a ship is morally superior in some way. Stop pulling out your 'mlm/ transmasc / cis gay' card in order to justify why your ship is superior. Its cringe af.

But if we are to insist that 'cishet female gaze fetishising mlm' is going on then ironically Zosan fits that the better than any ship in the fandom. It being by far the most popular mlm ship means there is likely a higher proportion of people who identify as cishet women who ship it. Its also the classic 'two men who dislike/hate eachother and have a toxic relationship but hot sexual tension' slash/yaoi stereotype. Majority of Zosan I've come across is depicting Zoro as the masculine male man in the relationship while Sanji the effeminate twink that Sanji stans project themselves onto and they go crazy for the bickering that is apparently reminiscent to them of a toxic heterosexual marriage. Meanwhile every Zolu/Luzo shipper I've interacted with has been some flavour of queer and Zolu is closest to the 'falling in love with your same sex bestie' narrative that the majority if not every non-heterosexual person has experienced at least once in their lifetime. This is just my personal view of course, but I think noting a difference in perspective on this topic is interesting and reveals that at the end of the day this is totally subjective and based purely on anecdotes.

Also it's just a very weird point here that apparently OP has 'plenty of varied queer rep' (it actually doesn't have that many canonical queer characters in relation to its cast size but anyway) and other media doesn't so shipping aroace characters in gay relationships is valid in those but not in One Piece … HUH???? So you're saying if One Piece had 'less' queer rep, then Zolu would be fine to ship? Idek my brain hurts.

"I have black friends so I'll speak for the black community and get offended for them" (btw this person then proceeded to block aroace people who had issues with their depiction of aroace people).

Also if we're talking canonical depictions, the only thing Zoro has been canonically depicted as is also aroace, equally if not moreso than Luffy. So by your own rules, you can't ship a cishet (sanji) with an aroace (zoro), therefore Zosan is now invalid. Stop erasing Zoro's aroace identity bigot.

'Categorically wrong' makes me laugh. I don't ship Zoro and Nami but like, people can ship what they want to??

'The general public is aware enough of gay people and how to spot them these days' uh... firstly this sounds very homophobic. Secondly the general public (cishet ppl) are famously bad at recognising queerness even when its in flashing lights before them. Thirdly you make it sound like Zoro was going around on roller skates and booty shorts listening to YMCA and Madonna in the show. I do agree he was gay-coded but it was mostly because he had sexual tension with every man he interacted with, not for the strange reasons you pointed out...

Its kinda the elephant in the room too but like. These are just headcanons. You can have multiple headcanons and interpretations of a character's sexuality. I can see Zoro as aroace virgin one day and a gay h*e the next. I'm actually allowed, legally, to do that.

The way they think shipping Zolu is harmful to aroace representation when BOTH characters are closest to being canonically aroace than anything yet ship Zosan, label being anti-Zolu as some kind of pro-ace activism, and then proceeded to block aroace people for criticising their incorrect depiction of what being aroace is...

This was a lot of words to say that you don't like a ship. Just say you don't like it, and it gets in the way of the ship you like, instead of writing a virtue signalling essay to justify your reasoning. Please.

They had some more to say on future posts I'll just pick my favourite bits

They really have this narrative that Zolu is only popular because of OPLA and can't fathom that its just a popular ship in general and always has been huh. And they couldn't make it more obvious that they're totally salty about it ranking in the top 100 most popular tumblr ships, lmao.

Your classic case of 'self-identifying ally who speaks over the people they are supposed allies of'. Its a general rule that you feel the need to declare yourself an ally you're probably not an ally, actual allies know they need to just shut up and do the work. Saying 'this character's aroace' and 'I have aroace friends' actually isn't what allyship is, thats just accepting that ace people exist which is like... the baseline.

Calling a wholesome loving ship like Zolu an icky ship is a severe consequence of online brain (this person is 26 years old btw)

[moeitsu]

Since it's pride month I wanna talk about something I've noticed in the Red Dead Redemption fandom:

The Bisexual erasure of Sadie Adler and Arthur Morgan.

I apologize if this comes across as harsh, but it's something that's been on my mind since I started interacting w/ this media. And as a bisexual, I wanted to discuss it further.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with shipping these characters with the same sex. Personally, I am a Charthur shipper till the day I die. I don't ship Sadie with anyone but her husband, but I still enjoy seeing the fanart and headcanons of the women she's shipped with.

That being said, these characters are not lesbian or gay. That's literally a fact, and if you think otherwise it is bisexual erasure.

Let's start with Sadie Adler. Her entire character arc is getting revenge on the O'Driscolls for killing her husband. Whom she mourns for years, and talks about frequently with Arthur/other camp members. Now, if you want to ship her w/ Abigail or Molly or whomever, go for it!! But she has loved and still loves her husband. She is not a lesbian, and she didn't just magically turn into a lesbian after Jake's death. If she had any love interests other than Jake, this would make her bisexual. (even Sapphic is still a more appropriate term than lesbian)

The same goes for women in real life who have dated men first, then dated a woman. Just because their current partner is the same sex doesn't mean we can assume they are suddenly lesbian. Calling characters lesbians even if they have been in a relationship with men before is bisexual erasure.

This same concept is applied to Arthur Morgan. He had previous relationships with women. (one of whom he still has strong feelings for) and he is attracted to women. We see this with his greeting dialogue and when he compliments people. I believe Arthur's character is more likely to be bisexual than Sadie's, given his interactions w/ some of the men in the game. But that doesn't erase the fact that he's still attracted to the opposite sex. Arthur is not a gay man. Disregarding his past relationships w/ women is a form of bisexual erasure.

There is a huge double standard here because if these character's were actually lesbian/gay and the fandom decided to ship them with people of the opposite sex (i.e headcanon they are bi), there would be a major discourse.

Whenever bisexual women and men are presented in the media I always notice a few things:

Bi women are "secretly straight"

Bi women "don't know their lesbian yet"

Bi men are "secretly gay"

As well as this funny little graphic below ↓

Like I said before, I am bisexual. And if I'm being honest this years pride month has been exhausting and mildly infuriating with how the community seems to disregard bisexuals in a hetero relationship.

I stopped talking about my bisexuality with people because once they know I have been in a committed relationship with a man for seven years, I am suddenly excluded from the conversation.

I've had ex-friends tell me that I only identify as bisexual to "fit in" with the queer community. I've had people in college assume I was lesbian bc of the way I dressed, and then try to tell me that I must be secretly lesbian when I tell them I'm Bi. (Ppl also assumed I was non-binary bc of the way I presented but that's another story)

This stuff doesn't just happen to fictional characters, it happens to real people every single day. I'm honestly tired of ppl saying "well my headcanon doesn't hurt anybody, they're not real." Yes it does!! You are supporting Bi erasure!!

That's all I'm gonna say on this topic for now. I'd love to leave it open for discussion, but please be nice. This isn't a call-out or me trying to antagonize the queer rdr community. I just wanted to get it off my mind.

[lucystark12]

Read your post on your opinions on Byler and why you think it’s a genius love story. I’m curious though you mentioned Mike being gay, rather than Bisexual. I’ve been in the fandom since s1 and never actually thought abt it that way, what’s some evidence that made you see gay Mike instead of bi Mike?? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

up until i got on tumblr a few weeks ago (very new to this business haha) i didn't really have super strong opinions on his sexuality either way. i was kinda just like, okay, mike is queer in some sense of the word, but the more i've read theories and thought about it, i feel it's almost more powerful if he's explicitly gay. this is in no way biphobia- i'm bi- and i don't at all believe that him being bi would discredit the importance of his character being queer in the grand scheme of queer representation, but i do feel like having a character who actively grapples with feelings of inadequacy out of insecurity based in not being able to love his girlfriend the way he thinks he's supposed to and deep seeded disgust and internalized homophobia with himself and his own faults especially when there's just SO MUCH beautiful and real love between straight couples around him- think lumax and jancy- is really intelligent and insightful writing. as far as evidence goes, i think there really is a lot of importance in him not being able to tell el he loves her. yes, you could say that it's just because he flat out doesn't love her, but you could also say that he knows that he doesn't and could never love her in the way he thinks he should should, in the way she deserves. that's why will's real and genuine love confession through the eyes of el makes him think "okay, maybe this could work. she loves me in the way she's supposed to, maybe it's possible". the reason will's words are so fueling for him is because they serve as proof and validation that he isn't doing anything he deems wrong and that there is the same level of beauty and intimacy in their relationship that there is in lumax or jopper or jancy. this leads in to my painting theory and how i think learning the truth about the painting will ultimately be the thing that makes mike face his internal conflicts head on because he will realize that he doesn't and can never have this perfect heterosexual relationship because he isn't heterosexual.

wow i just went on a crazy rant there hello

also- lucas's season one line about mike only liking el because she's the first girl to look at him or something like that is a good one too

[thelostgirl21]

I really can't believe we are still having this discussion!

Do you guys not understand how easy it is, for flamboyant pansexual and bisexual men, to be mistaken for gay, and see their chances with the ladies (unless pansexual, bisexual, omnisexual or polysexual themselves) become nearly non existent?

Flamboyantly bi/pan men do not walk around expecting to eat pussy on a regular basis! That's not how their world works!

Straight women tend to avoid them (even when they explicitly state that they enjoy being in a relationship and/or having sex with women as much as they would any other gender) because they are perceived as still being in denial about being "so obviously gay"!

And gay men will typically go "Oh, you are so cute! Don't worry, I was where you were once, too. You'll figure it out!"

And the more "stereotypically gay" they look and behave, the harder it is going to be for them to convince monosexuals that they genuinely enjoy being romantically and/or sexually involved with women.

The pansexual / bisexual man stereotype, is them doing all they can to avoid letting their queerness show, and changing the label they give to their sexual orientation depending on the gender of their partner.

Because most cisgender gay men won't care if you don't "look gay enough" or fail to give them clear "gay vibes". They'll just trust that you're genuinely into men if you put their dicks into your mouth while looking very into it!

Straight cisgender women, however, are conditioned to fear the idea that "even if he's currently enthusiastically eating my pussy while sporting an erection, there's a risk he'll be leaving me for a man".

The pansexual / bisexual stereotype is invisibility. It's passing as straight when you're with a woman, and passing as gay when you're with a man.

Or, when you're not invisible, being disproportionately popular with the men, and only able to "occasionally get some" with pan/bi women.

It's not being flamoboyantly artistic with a melodic higher pitched voice and talking with your hands a lot, while having many powerful lords wanting to kill you because you can't keep your dick in your pants and you've been sleeping with so many of their wives, daughters and nieces that you've lost count!

Jaskier is one of the least stereotypical pansexual characters you could ever find on television! Because he's a freaking walking gay stereotype that doesn't get mistaken for being gay, and whose open pansexuality doesn't appear to harm his chances with the ladies one bit!

Prince/King Radovid belongs to the gay community. If you want to criticize the show's queer representation of gay men, and say that they're too heavily leaning into gay men stereotypes by having made him this sensitive, highly empathetic and emotionally intelligent man that shows great consideration for the needs of his partner, knock yourselves out!

But Jaskier's portrayal is meant to represent the non-monosexual a-spec community. He's been officially labelled as panromantic/sexual, sapioromantic/sexual.

He's not, and never has been, a gay character.

Arguing he's "bad queer representation", because he's heavily leaning into "gay stereotypes", is yet another example of bisexual erasure in society.

You are denying the unique experiences and relationship challenges that pansexual, bisexual, omnisexual and polysexual men are facing in how they present themselves to the world, and the impact that passing as either "straight" or "gay" is having on their romantic and sexual relationships.

If you're a flamboyant straight man fearing to be mistaken as gay, trust me, the flamboyant pan/bi/omni/poly men fully agree with you!

They keep being mistaken for gay all the time, and it greatly tends to ruin their chances with the ladies, too!

Thankfully, Jaskier is showing the world that being flamboyant should not hurt your popularity with women, and that it sure as hell doesn't make you gay!

So rejoice, he's arguing the exact same point you are!

Being flamboyant doesn't make you gay!

You could also be straight, bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, polysexual, etc.

Flamboyantly masculine men love romancing and having sex with women!

We keep saying it, and thankfully they've finally listened to us with the portrayal of Jaskier on "The Witcher"!

I call this a huge win for all flamboyant men that love women out there, regardless of orientation!

[morganski-19]

"I'm straight"

Yeah, sure you are dude.

Jokes aside, I know exactly what logic both Eddie had in this scene, and also why the writers chose to include this.

Eddie says it because he truly believes that he is straight. He grew up in a family that shoved traditional gender roles down his throat. He grew up in a society that would not have accepted him. Going with the rough estimation Eddie did for his last confession, which was 23 years ago, that would have been 2001. That man was growing up in the 90s through the 2010s. In Texas. He was taught that being gay was wrong.

And what do queer people do when they are taught that who they are is wrong? Hide and delude themselves that it isn't true.

Eddie believes he is straight. He believes that everything he's felt has been normal for a straight man to feel. He believes that this performance that he does is what everyone goes through. He believes that this guilt he holds is what he deserves for being different, even though he doesn't know what being different means right now. He believes he is straight because there was no other option for him.

Now to why it was written in that he says his sexuality.

It was written to establish that it is what Eddie currently believes because they are going to start undoing it.

As much as it pains me, we live in a society where straight is very much still the default. In every show, there are going to be people who are assumed straight without even saying it, just because it is the default. Just looking at this show alone, there are so many examples of it. Bobby never had to say he was straight, we just know that. Same goes for Athena, or Chimney, or Maddie.

And if we look at the most prominent queer characters from the beginning, Hen and Michael, they don't even say their sexuality unless necessary. Hen just casually drops that she has a wife, and therefore we can assume she is a lesbian. She then confirms that, I believe for the first time, in Hen begins. When it is part of her very incredible speech asking for the old 118 to see her as she is, a black lesbian woman. It was necessary in that moment. Michael only says he's gay because it's important to his storyline. After the coming out arc, I don't remember him saying the specific words, I'm gay, afterward. Because it isn't necessary anymore, because it's known about his character.

Then there's Buck, and the wording he uses to describe himself while discovering who he is. He constantly emphasizes that he was an ally, a very straight term. Even after he figures out that he likes men, he continues to use this term. Because he is still processing the fact that he isn't straight, he isn't an ally, he's part of the community. They put it in when it was necessary for Buck and the audience to work through.

Furthermore, after coming out, Buck never says how he identifies. We as the viewer can interpret him as being bisexual from the way he acts. He has been in very meaningful and real relationships with women, where he didn't show the signs of feeling like a fraud or being guilty in the relationship (for sexuality reasons at least). He doesn't have to say he's bisexual (even though I am begging for him to say it in canon just to hear it) because it isn't necessary for the audience to hear. We already know.

So why is it necessary for Eddie to say that he is straight? Because we as the audience need to hear the before and after. It's no longer going to be assumed that he is straight, because he tells us. It marks what Eddie believes and will have to work through with the audience.

His sexuality can no longer be assumed, it must be stated.

It must be stated so that the general audience knows where he is, and then can follow him as he dismantles it.

[sharp-rosee]

Hey funny story: I haven't been around Tumblr at all for months, but today someone told me menalez had deactivated or something so I came on here and looked it up. First result was a post by you, i checked out your blog and wouldn't you know it your most recent post had you defending me post mortem lmfao. I sent an anon to the other woman too but it seems she won't post it so to clarify to you: when I supposedly said "studies showing violence suffered by bisexuals are cringe and useless" what I remember thinking about that is that those studies that I've seen are never used to try to understand why bisexuals suffer such insane rates of violence (more than homosexuals) and trying to stop it. I've only seen them be used as battering rams in discourse when homosexuals criticize bisexuals. Which is crazy for such a serious issue and totally trivializes it lol. Also that my explanation for it was that such studies show that many abused people incorrectly id as bi for a time. You can disagree or wtv just those were my points, she made it sound like I'm cheering on women beating if they're bi or something. Also your defense of me (thanks queen lol) is accurate if you were wondering. I used to be sorta pro strict separatism but I outgrew the anger/ denial phase of "most women will partner with men" and reached acceptance. Most people are built for romantic partnership, that's just human nature, I can't be hating het women just because their lot in life in that means they're more likely to be abused. Just because I'm not drawn to men, or even much to romance, doesn't mean I should act like that's everyone else too and judge them on that standard, I accept reality and want women to be safe within that rather than pointlessly hate on them and get all worked up because some women have boyfriends..

Well I'm also a mean asshole, I'm sure you noticed, and I definitely would give the bi girlies on radblr a hard time here at the time lol. I don't have the "one side" sort of takes on this divide on radblr. It was funny but I can't feel the energy to that anymore since leaving tumblr, way too few bis or gays irl to care about that stuff. But at the end of the day these are my actual takes on all that disk horse. Funny to see it immediately on such a causal stroll around here lol

-sleep3r4gent

QUEEN I used to follow you ♡ at least when I was crypto a few years back I did.

Also, I'm glad you clarified because the way some women on here seem to hallucinate things they read almost makes me feel insane as well. Like you sending an ask saying you never thought of a certain perspective is not indicative of you agreeing and obviously one can change their opinions over time.

I really have no opinion either way tbh, I myself am straight and in a relationship, and have had others on my last blog send some anons calling me a "dick worshipper" and other misogynistic BS, but they stopped once I didn't let it bother me much. It's so obviously a group of trolls that it's embarrassing that they still believe it enough to keep bringing back the same users, some like you who aren't even misogynistic, to further their persecution complex.

It even is more annoying because these are the women who made Mena/Moideater leave, the above drama is a big reason why. The way radblr will still reblog posts from very racist blogs and not bat an eye but then freak out over a clique of women who aren't even radfems really does show what demographic makes up this site.

I know it gets exhausting to be involved in arguments, but it's nice to know you're still somewhat around. I hope you, Mena and Moid come back someday. If not I understand. But I'll never forget any of them and I haven't forgotten you 😭😭😭

[bearw-me]

Hellooooo! You write Lute so well (the best in my humble opinion), sooo I figured you'd be the best person to bring this request to🖤

Could i request a lute x girlfriend!reader where they used to be long-term best friends, but during the friendship reader was convinced she was straight bc she'd never been attracted to a woman before Lute.

Now they're in a new relationship and Lute is helping her girlfriend come to terms with her sexual orientation/identity as a bisexual. Or a lute-sexual considering Lute's still the only woman she's ever had an attraction to 💀

*Bonus points if reader expresses that she's afraid she won't be a good girlfriend considering she'd only been with 1 man before her and doesn't know how to "properly treat" a woman (She treats Lute great as a gf and a friend, poor thing's just new to this)*

Lmbo imagine reader just having bi-panic anytime she interacted with Lute during their friendship Or getting flustered anytime Lute did anything remotely attractive during their relationship

Thank youuuuu! Also random question: who's your fav character in Hazbin?

ty for such kind words! :')

+ fav hazbin character isss- lets say husk (i feel a kinship with him lol, plus i LOVE keith davis's voice) i also adore angel and adam <3

𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬? — 𝐋𝐮𝐭𝐞 𝐇𝐜𝐬

𐐒 ft : lute x girlfriend!reader 𐐒 cw : fluff, slight angst, lute makes you blush as per usual 𐐒 summary : lute assures you she's happy-more than happy- to be with you, despite being the first woman you've ever dated + drabble at the end :) 𐐒 note : lute-sexual is SO relatable

Lute just holding both sides of your face, squishing you while she reassures you that: "You are an amazing girlfriend"

She sighs, "Don't be stupid."

she's always trying to physically smoosh the sentiment into you, either with her kisses or by holding you down and affirming you.

Lute is very gentle, emotionally speaking. She understands the new-raw emotions you must be feeling, being in a relationship with a woman for the first time.

If you're having a hard time coming to terms with your sexuality, Lute can wait as long as it takes.

You're both in the same boat: She's never been in a relationship, and you've never been with a woman.

As her best-friend, you try to be there for her through laughs and sorrows.

Eyeing her curves and respecting her brilliance in battle. . . her ability to not be talked down to no matter the foe.

For all those years you lusted for her. . . you mistook the feelings for friendly support, ignoring the way you'd blush when you watched her come back from training: A sports bra, and long martial arts shorts adorning her heavenly body. The muscles around her back built to shoulder the burden of wings, and a strong core to match.

A literal form build by god. . . the sight making you tremble with nerves.

And. . . now you were with her.

Lute adores all the thoughtful gifts you give her throughout the day. It makes her smile, silently treasuring the things you buy or find for her.

In a relationship, I think Lute can already tell whenever you become flustered by her or overwhelmed.

For example: she takes her shirt off and turns to you, watching you tremble and bury your burning face into your hands, attempting to hide it from her but peeking through your fingers.

She thinks its the cutest fucking thing in the world.

"Lute? How can I even be a good girlfriend for you? I don't... I don't know how to..." You manage to spit out as she walks over to the bed your sitting on.

She smiles softly, crawling over to sit on your lap, cupping your face in her hands to stop you from hiding.

"Babe, you're a fucking great girlfriend," she assures you.

And Lute revels in your beauty, holding your face and running her thumbs over your cheeks, and committing every bump and blemish to memory.

"Kiss me?" You ask her happily, almost like a puppy.

And its Lute's turn to blush, her face bursting into a fiery red bliss, tackling you backward onto the bed in an attempt to distract.

[green-enby]

Heyo! Have you watched Koisenu Futari (恋せぬふたり, Two people who can't fall in love) yet? It's a great series, just 8 episodes long! I binged it in one day :) [smiley]

It focuses on two aromantic asexual people living together. This is a little appreciation post, containing some thoughts that it evoked in me as an aroace.

If you don't want spoilers, please don't read!

It's so relatable how Sakuko keeps blaming herself all throughout the show… Insecurity stemming from societal expectations that dictate romance is for everyone, and that people who don't date are somehow "failing" in life; I think this affects allos as well.

When I broke off my romantic relationship, I too felt like it had been my fault, for not having been a good enough partner, for not being able to love them in the same way they loved me.

To finally learn that you are not "defective", that there's other people like you…! I love how the two MCs don't grieve their lack of attraction; Sakuko is perfectly happy discovering she's aroace. She and Takahashi are living their "best life" together.

Sure, many aroaces do wish they were allo, and that needs to be represented too, but this series to me really shined a light over why they want that: it's because amatonormativity is rampant in the world, not because lacking attraction is inherently sad. The main conflicts in the series stem from the clash between allo society and the aroace experience, after all. I think that's neat! It gave me a good dose of aroace joy—while still showing the hurts that come with it, realistically—and I really needed it.

I didn't expect her to come out to her family so soon, but whoa, that was intense. Her mother's negative reaction is what all people who exclude a-spec people from the LGBTQIA+ community should see, to understand that we face the same issues they do.

I haven't come out to my parents as aroace yet, and watching this made me realize how awful it actually feels to be in the closet. I somehow hadn't realized I am. I've always felt safe coming out to them as other things, as bisexual back in the day, and as trans non-binary.

It might be because my confidence disappeared when they reacted badly both times, but this coming out feels almost impossible.

Comparing it to coming out as bi, it's really not that different: if you're bi, you're promiscuous and date too many people; if you're aroace, you're a prude and cold-hearted. If you break away from the status quo, you're wrong either way.

But at least, most people do eventually understand the bi experience, if they understand same-gender attraction, and fuse it with straightness, even though it's a flawed method.

With aros and aces, instead, it's such an alien concept for an allo, which makes it way harder to come out and have to explain to them how to deconstruct allo-amatonormativity. It's exhausting. Thankfully, there's people like Kazu who are actually willing to learn about us. That gives me hope.

I feel like it's super eye-opening to find out the concept of romance didn't even exist in the past. Pretty sure that in Europe, it originated during the Middle Ages from the ideal of chivalry. So it's really just a social construct, and opting out of it shouldn't be so controversial!

It's just a set of pointless, annoying rules like having to kiss eachother, having to say "I love you", and doing it all a set amount of times, otherwise it's not good enough. What if we don't want to? What if it doesn't come natural to us? If it's just a social construct, fuck it, I'm not adhering to that! We do whatever makes us happy!

Even in the series itself, Sakuko too goes through a heartbreak, even if it's not the romantic kind: she valued her friendship and future cohabitation with Chizuru above all else, but Chizuru abandoned her, because of romantic love. It's not true that aroaces have it easy.

Like our MC, we have to deal with fear that we'll come off flirty when we're just being friendly, confusion over concepts that we feel we should understand, shame over the fact that we're different, fear of loneliness, frustration and pain that we'll always come second to our friends' romantic partners, or even trauma from a relationship or sexual encounter that we didn't really want. I could go on and on.

These last scenes really got to me. Especially the second one… I admit that I cried, when she had to turn her down, and it seemed like her aromanticism had ruined their relationship. It hurts that the way I am could seriously harm someone I care about. It hurts that most people work differently and that they can't help it, and that we can't help it either. I don't like being put in that position, to cause someone a heartbreak. I have with my ex, and had to watch them spiral down… It was horrible.

Still, I wouldn't change my orientation for the world. I'm confident in my identity, I love being aroace.

In the end, we can all reach our full potential, reach a point where we feel fulfilled and that we're living our best life, find ourselves a family if it's what we want, have our dream job and house. Being aroace doesn't condemn us to a life of unhappiness. That's what this series left me with by the end; it gave me so much hope for my future.

(I'm aware I'm coming off as a bit toxically positive here haha, sorry if I'm striking a bad chord; I'm just in a really good period right now, and riding this wave for as long as I can! Hopefully I can rub it off someone else as well.)

That said, I really loved this j-drama, it was funny and relatable and emotional, I wished it had lasted longer! It seems like the author isn't even aroace herself, so I'm amazed at how good the representation was! So much thought and research has gone into it, and it shows; the result is amazing.

Thanks for reading my scattered thoughts about this! 🧡💛🤍🩵💙

[luvverslair]

Fem!Reader learning that their boyfriend Graves is bisexual, but HE doesn't realize it.

He just assumes every guy checks out other men occasionally. He's totally straight. Some men just have really nice arms.

He becomes defensive when reader points out he even seems to have a type.

hi !! thank you for requesting this just screams graves lol !! i hope you enjoy and i always love any feedback !! (first time writing for graves so cut me a little slack)

You had been with your boyfriend, Graves for a while now. You thought you knew everything about him until you noticed something about him, whenever the two of you would go out together he seemed to always check out other people, Now it wasn't like he was checking out another woman. No, he was checking out men?

You and he had decided to go out for a late lunch, you went to one of your regular places that hadn't changed in all the time you'd been going there. Yet this time something was different, a new waiter was working there, He came over and greeted you asking for your drink orders, Graves let you go first, and after you ordered you studied your boyfriend across from you. There was a light pinkish coloring across his face as he was talking to the waiter, he started mixing up his words and seemed distracted by the man. After he had finished ordering a smirk came upon your face until he spoke to you “What’s got you smirking?” you let out a giggle before answering “Oh nothing, just that you were eye banging our waiter…” a confused and angry reaction spread across his face “What are you on about Y/n?! I was not eye-banging our waiter.” you, still smirking responded “Yes, you were. I don't mind he's a nice-looking guy…” he, even more angered spat out “Y/n I am a straight man why in the hell would I be checking out a man?” you laughed at his answer before answering “You sure?” he answered back “What in the hell do you mean “Am I sure” I'm very much sure why would I be in a relationship with a woman if I liked men?” you empathetically responded “You can like men and woman you know, its a spectrum” he scoffed out “Just because I can appreciate a good looking guy doesn't mean I like them.” You sighed saying “Graves, it's not just you them appreciating a good-looking guy, it's more than that and that's okay.” his face softened as he thought through your answer, you could tell he was debating what he would say next, he seemed equality terrified and confused at the same time. After a few more moments He finally sighed and spoke out “So let’s say I did find guys somewhat attractive what would that make me?” you smiled grabbing his hand and saying “Whatever you want it to make you.”

well i hope you enjoyed this !! sorry it’s a bit short but i hope you’ll like it anyway !!

luv, luvver