#Bisexual erasure

[witsserviceablesubstitute]

The way the actors' and showrunner's faces fell and froze when the interviewer called Edwin and Charles a gay/straight friendship continues to bolster my trust.

But also, that was just an accurate bisexual experience.

[scrambleseggy]

I don’t think people realize that erasure within certain groups in queer communities directly affects peoples perceptions of the violence and abuse those people can face and why. Hypervisibility and invisibility are both two sides of the same coin. Neither is better or worse than the other, because while hypervisibility can glorify the violence a group faces and grossly sexualizes it, invisibility aims to turn the camera away from another group so that they don’t get any ideas that people like them exist in the first place — let alone face harm for their presentation and identity.

Erasure isn’t just “feeling invisible” — it’s also the general media and population purposefully trying to undermine issues certain groups can face and ignore them so those groups feel like they have no outlets or support — whether it’s from society or their own communities. It’s often because they want to avoid the idea of the very existence of those groups as well.

I don’t really think people know what erasure truly is. And I think when people try to act like “it’s not that bad” they don’t even realize how that does more harm than good and feeds right into it.

[drchucktingle]

who is sweet barbara????

chucks wife

wildest thing about sweet barbara is that i have talked about her ON AND ON AND ON since my first online post all the way up until this very day (nearly a decade) but nobody seems to notice her because i am queer (she even appears in tinglers and is on the cover of EXPEDITION TO THE FROZEN LAKE)

it is almost as though when you are bisexual your hetero presenting partners become a ghost

in the early days all i would hear online when i would talk about her is: 'chuck is playing a character of a CONFUSED GAY MAN' instead of the VERY OBVIOUS OTHER CONCLUSION that bisexuals exist. imagine that

to be clear that is not at all what this kind asker is doing. this ask is wonderful thank you for your question YOU PROVE LOVE

JUST SAYING i have always found the larger reaction to sweet barbara very interesting and an amazing little social experiment in bisexual erasure

also reason i do not wear a ring is because 1 this tradition kind of makes me feel weird it is okay that others like it but there is a feeling about it that is personally not for me and 2 in a very LITERAL way i cannot wear any jewelry because of my autism i just cannot wear rings without getting riled up and having a dang breakdown

[robynochs]

Alan Cumming reminds us once again: he's bisexual. This clarification is crucial in a world where bi-erasure often renders bisexual identities invisible. In a new interview with BuzzFeed, he discusses the importance of accurate representation and the fluidity of his identity.

Read more about his thoughts on sexuality in the article from Them: https://www.them.us/story/alan-cumming-traitors-host-interview-sexuality-bisexual-queer-labels?utm_source=nl&utm_brand=them&utm_mailing=THEM_Weekly_040225&utm_campaign=aud-dev&utm_medium=email&bxid=5d39dd8a2ddf9c47992023a4&cndid=25475098&hasha=b174d27f7a8ad21d5349683ba9a8566c&hashb=1ddb3af0e68b1cb9bc7fe604d99e8ff5a5d6dc02&hashc=9c1a7463cc382b0c09e73190fc45d6a32349b86af9a26cea96dcc3eed294d3e3&esrc=verso-hp-midpage&utm_term=THEM_Daily

[lgbtqtext]

[emeldiir]

Historically, bisexual identities have been misunderstood, ignored, erased, and stigmatized within the heterosexual communities, the LGBTQ+ community, and mainstream society, and this intersects with the experiences of bisexual butches.

the discrimination crosses over into pressure to conform to either heterosexual or homosexual communities with there being very little space for bisexuals to exist on our own without input (unwanted) from either group.

this is why it is so important to not only recognize the diversity in bisexual identity, but to uplift us and affirm us within our subsections of the queer identity. we have been here alongside you for centuries and it’s far past time to recognize us and our existence.

It’s one of the biggest reasons I refuse to hide my identity away. I take pride in being able to advocate for the bisexual community, the butch community AND the bisexual butch community. we need more visibility and we need more acceptance in all areas of bisexual presence but especially within the broader LGTBQ+ community, and the more of us refuse to be silent the stronger we will be.

[tippenfunkaport]

"[Canon Bisexual Character] should have been [gay / lesbian] so they ended up with [Same Sex Character]!"

Wow. That's so interesting! Because there is literally no reason you can't ship that bisexual character with the same sex character as is. No one on earth is stopping you. Bisexual people are attracted to the same sex. You can ship away without changing a single thing about them!

But you keep insisting they should have been lesbian or gay so they could date the same sex and... gosh. It almost seems like... you just hate that they are bisexual!

Huh. Fascinating.

[poppletonink]

Bisexual Books

Bi: The Hidden Culture, History and Science of Bisexuality by Julia Shaw

Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

Perfect On Paper by Sophie Gonzales

Imogen, Obviously by Becky Albertalli

Greedy: Notes From A Bisexual Who Wants Too Much by Jen Winston

The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Bi: Notes For A Bisexual Revolution by Shiri Eisner

Verona Comics by Jennifer Dugan

Hani and Ishu's Guide To Fake Dating by Adiba Jaigirdar

Bisexual Men Exist by Vaneet Mehta

Hugged by Verity Ritchie

This Is Why They Hate Us by Aaron H. Aceves

Heartstopper Vol. 1 by Alice Oseman

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston

Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out by Various Authors

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Bisexual erasure is a pervasive issue that manifests in various ways across different areas of society. These examples highlight how bisexual erasure occurs across different areas of society, contributing to the invisibility and marginalization of bisexual individuals.

[intersexcat-tboy]

"everyone's a little OCD" → "everyone's a little bi" → "everyone's a little ADHD" → "everyone's a little autistic" → "everyone's a little intersex"

🙄

[moeitsu]

Since it's pride month I wanna talk about something I've noticed in the Red Dead Redemption fandom:

The Bisexual erasure of Sadie Adler and Arthur Morgan.

I apologize if this comes across as harsh, but it's something that's been on my mind since I started interacting w/ this media. And as a bisexual, I wanted to discuss it further.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with shipping these characters with the same sex. Personally, I am a Charthur shipper till the day I die. I don't ship Sadie with anyone but her husband, but I still enjoy seeing the fanart and headcanons of the women she's shipped with.

That being said, these characters are not lesbian or gay. That's literally a fact, and if you think otherwise it is bisexual erasure.

Let's start with Sadie Adler. Her entire character arc is getting revenge on the O'Driscolls for killing her husband. Whom she mourns for years, and talks about frequently with Arthur/other camp members. Now, if you want to ship her w/ Abigail or Molly or whomever, go for it!! But she has loved and still loves her husband. She is not a lesbian, and she didn't just magically turn into a lesbian after Jake's death. If she had any love interests other than Jake, this would make her bisexual. (even Sapphic is still a more appropriate term than lesbian)

The same goes for women in real life who have dated men first, then dated a woman. Just because their current partner is the same sex doesn't mean we can assume they are suddenly lesbian. Calling characters lesbians even if they have been in a relationship with men before is bisexual erasure.

This same concept is applied to Arthur Morgan. He had previous relationships with women. (one of whom he still has strong feelings for) and he is attracted to women. We see this with his greeting dialogue and when he compliments people. I believe Arthur's character is more likely to be bisexual than Sadie's, given his interactions w/ some of the men in the game. But that doesn't erase the fact that he's still attracted to the opposite sex. Arthur is not a gay man. Disregarding his past relationships w/ women is a form of bisexual erasure.

There is a huge double standard here because if these character's were actually lesbian/gay and the fandom decided to ship them with people of the opposite sex (i.e headcanon they are bi), there would be a major discourse.

Whenever bisexual women and men are presented in the media I always notice a few things:

Bi women are "secretly straight"

Bi women "don't know their lesbian yet"

Bi men are "secretly gay"

As well as this funny little graphic below ↓

Like I said before, I am bisexual. And if I'm being honest this years pride month has been exhausting and mildly infuriating with how the community seems to disregard bisexuals in a hetero relationship.

I stopped talking about my bisexuality with people because once they know I have been in a committed relationship with a man for seven years, I am suddenly excluded from the conversation.

I've had ex-friends tell me that I only identify as bisexual to "fit in" with the queer community. I've had people in college assume I was lesbian bc of the way I dressed, and then try to tell me that I must be secretly lesbian when I tell them I'm Bi. (Ppl also assumed I was non-binary bc of the way I presented but that's another story)

This stuff doesn't just happen to fictional characters, it happens to real people every single day. I'm honestly tired of ppl saying "well my headcanon doesn't hurt anybody, they're not real." Yes it does!! You are supporting Bi erasure!!

That's all I'm gonna say on this topic for now. I'd love to leave it open for discussion, but please be nice. This isn't a call-out or me trying to antagonize the queer rdr community. I just wanted to get it off my mind.

[emeldiir]

I don’t think i’ll ever be able to stop mourning what bisexual erasure has taken from the bisexual community.

[bisexual-coala]

Hate it when this happens

[thelostgirl21]

I really can't believe we are still having this discussion!

Do you guys not understand how easy it is, for flamboyant pansexual and bisexual men, to be mistaken for gay, and see their chances with the ladies (unless pansexual, bisexual, omnisexual or polysexual themselves) become nearly non existent?

Flamboyantly bi/pan men do not walk around expecting to eat pussy on a regular basis! That's not how their world works!

Straight women tend to avoid them (even when they explicitly state that they enjoy being in a relationship and/or having sex with women as much as they would any other gender) because they are perceived as still being in denial about being "so obviously gay"!

And gay men will typically go "Oh, you are so cute! Don't worry, I was where you were once, too. You'll figure it out!"

And the more "stereotypically gay" they look and behave, the harder it is going to be for them to convince monosexuals that they genuinely enjoy being romantically and/or sexually involved with women.

The pansexual / bisexual man stereotype, is them doing all they can to avoid letting their queerness show, and changing the label they give to their sexual orientation depending on the gender of their partner.

Because most cisgender gay men won't care if you don't "look gay enough" or fail to give them clear "gay vibes". They'll just trust that you're genuinely into men if you put their dicks into your mouth while looking very into it!

Straight cisgender women, however, are conditioned to fear the idea that "even if he's currently enthusiastically eating my pussy while sporting an erection, there's a risk he'll be leaving me for a man".

The pansexual / bisexual stereotype is invisibility. It's passing as straight when you're with a woman, and passing as gay when you're with a man.

Or, when you're not invisible, being disproportionately popular with the men, and only able to "occasionally get some" with pan/bi women.

It's not being flamoboyantly artistic with a melodic higher pitched voice and talking with your hands a lot, while having many powerful lords wanting to kill you because you can't keep your dick in your pants and you've been sleeping with so many of their wives, daughters and nieces that you've lost count!

Jaskier is one of the least stereotypical pansexual characters you could ever find on television! Because he's a freaking walking gay stereotype that doesn't get mistaken for being gay, and whose open pansexuality doesn't appear to harm his chances with the ladies one bit!

Prince/King Radovid belongs to the gay community. If you want to criticize the show's queer representation of gay men, and say that they're too heavily leaning into gay men stereotypes by having made him this sensitive, highly empathetic and emotionally intelligent man that shows great consideration for the needs of his partner, knock yourselves out!

But Jaskier's portrayal is meant to represent the non-monosexual a-spec community. He's been officially labelled as panromantic/sexual, sapioromantic/sexual.

He's not, and never has been, a gay character.

Arguing he's "bad queer representation", because he's heavily leaning into "gay stereotypes", is yet another example of bisexual erasure in society.

You are denying the unique experiences and relationship challenges that pansexual, bisexual, omnisexual and polysexual men are facing in how they present themselves to the world, and the impact that passing as either "straight" or "gay" is having on their romantic and sexual relationships.

If you're a flamboyant straight man fearing to be mistaken as gay, trust me, the flamboyant pan/bi/omni/poly men fully agree with you!

They keep being mistaken for gay all the time, and it greatly tends to ruin their chances with the ladies, too!

Thankfully, Jaskier is showing the world that being flamboyant should not hurt your popularity with women, and that it sure as hell doesn't make you gay!

So rejoice, he's arguing the exact same point you are!

Being flamboyant doesn't make you gay!

You could also be straight, bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, polysexual, etc.

Flamboyantly masculine men love romancing and having sex with women!

We keep saying it, and thankfully they've finally listened to us with the portrayal of Jaskier on "The Witcher"!

I call this a huge win for all flamboyant men that love women out there, regardless of orientation!

[m3r1m4r5u333]

Okay I've settled on my head canon which is that Eddie is bi (or some version of "likes women and men"), too... I need to ramble about it because this popular idea that Eddie is gay just bothers me tbh it just feels ignorant, bi erasurery. And sure, maybe I'll be proven wrong, but in the mean time...

I think the reason why Eddie just can't be happy with the women he's pushing himself to date is because he's only really ever been drawn, and loved, two people: Shannon and Buck.

And these women he's since dated... are neither of those people. So the other relationships are just... fake, unhappy. Not because of sexual incompatibility, but because they're loveless, on Eddie's part.

The romance with Shannon started as a teen-age romance. They were childhood friends and lovers, but they were too young and immature to really handle the stress of parenthood, and despite that, pushed into a marriage.

It was too much for this young, immature, love to survive. Them freaking out and not being a team.... That just started to hack away at their mutual trust, and that eventually killed the romance, and the marriage. This immature love just could not handle all this pressure, and co-exist with that dying trust.

And then, Eddie meets Buck when his and Shannon's marriage is on a break. She's runs, is away for a long time, Eddie is raising Chris alone... And Buck steps in.

And Buck is insanely helpful, a major stress relief -letting Bobby know that Eddie is struggling to find a caretaker for Chris. Researching for ways to help Eddie... He finds Carla to help them. Buck takes one look at Christopher and melts, wants to spend time with them... Eddie thinks "Woah. This guy is amazing. This is someone I can count on, who has my back."

So Eddie just moved on from Shannon. He did love her once... but then they killed their love and marriage, together. Mutual destruction.

Eddie didn't trust her anymore, she didn't trust him after he'd enlisted in a panic to run from the parenthood, from Christopher's diagnosis... they were fighting all the time... and then she just left him alone with Chris.

And I refuse to demonize her for leaving btw, she was young, under a lot of stress, and Eddie was running from his parenthood. Eddie needed that push, to take responsibility, and connect with Chris!!

But still.. She left, Eddie was hurt and alone, and really doesn't trust her anymore, and then he meets Buck.

So Eddie moves on. His and Shannon's romantic love just... dies. And when she finally tries to re-connect. Yes, he still finds her desirable, and the human bond is still an important one. But where's the love?

They've known each other since they were children, they're friends, Shannon is Christopher's mother. But Eddie no longer really loves her like he once did. He tries. He forgives her, for everything, and really tries to mend their marriage, even proposes again after finding out she may be pregnant...

But it's just too late for both of them, they don't really work as a couple, and she realises she is tired of this battle, she is done.

Shannon leaving.... this made Eddie move on from her, even though he tried to deny it, even to himself. By leaving, Shannon gave the final killing blow to their already fractured mutual trust. Then she was gone for a long time, and when she finally came back, Eddie had already moved on, connected with someone else. She even says this - I was away for too long.

She realises that their marriage dead. She is shocked when Eddie keeps pushing her away from Chris, realises their mutual lack of trust. And she finally admits to herself that she doesn't really want to get back together with Eddie.

Eddie is dragging his feet, not really accepting her back, keeps looking for a "sign" that would say they should have another serious go as partners. Only proposes after there's another pregnancy scare.

Shannon thinks, this marriage is too broken, I want out. We both deserve something better than this. So it is a story of falling in love, and falling out of love.

And then she dies, and Eddie grieves, deeply. He did love Shannon, even though their marriage was a failure. He'd loved her in so many ways. She was his friend, she was his wife, she was Christopher's mother.

However, I do feel like the reason why he struggles to date after Shannon's death is a combination of grief - being afraid to try again with anyone... and it's denial of his feelings for Buck, and also fear that what if... This happens again, what if he loves and they leave. I think the key problem here really is Buck.

Eddie has already fallen for someone, and tries to deny it, ignore it. He thinks this is a road that would take him nowhere, so why try. He thinks Buck is straight!

So he starts pushing Buck away because this odd family unit they have...? Where is it going really, he thinks, Buck doesn't want him.

This line, said to Buck:

"Somehow we became a ready-made family and I... I don't know if I'm ready for that."

It's grief for Shannon, and it's unrequited love for Buck, and it's about being unable to love Ana because of those both massive things stopping Eddie from being able to connect with her.

Remember.... that Buck starts the thing with Taylor before Eddie starts dating Ana?

Eddie, looking like a zombie, hosting Buck and Taylor, telling Buck that he needs to move on, Eddie has. (Yeah it's a lie.)

And remember all these talks about Eddie needing to move on, before he goes on dates?

This is Eddie, trying to move on, and find his third family unit.

The scene with Eddie and Buck when they've just met, Buck bragging that "some of us don't need good lighting to look good..."

And then Eddie at the fire station, looking at Buck, forgetting to introduce Ana to everyone, realising his mistake and saying to Ana;

"Oh, you've never been here!"...

Because she wasn't, Buck's presence just erases her from Eddie's mind, it's like she isn't even in the same room.

It's true, Eddie realises. Buck really doesn't need good lighting to look good, not to Eddie.

"Even in the dark, this place is amazing."

It's terrible, but disturbingly true for Eddie. This feeling, of existing in the darkness, alone, and watching someone who just doesn't need good lighting to look amazing. They just glow anyway, overwhelmingly, they just erase everyone else from your mind.

I feel like this symbolizes deep, unrequited love really well. Even in the dark this place is amazing.

So Eddie keeps struggling. He won't let Buck close because that's killing him, but he also can't let go of him. He's just ...always dying.

And then Buck comes out to him? It's a shock. It's a brief moment of dumb, wide-eyed hope.

But then Eddie immediately realizes... This changes nothing. Buck is dating someone else. Buck is falling for someone else. Buck is still... Just a friend.

Nothing has changed for Buck, and therefore not for Eddie either. Eddie is still alone in this. And keeps dying.

So... The point I'm trying to make here.

I feel like this struggle we're seeing, it's not about Eddie being gay. He fell for Shannon, they agreed the sex was never the problem.

Even this new relationship with Marisol. He does feel sexual desire for her... Their sex life is great... Until he learns that she was almost a nun? Imagine being in the closet, bi, and realising your girlfriend was almost a nun?

It's truly "eyes on the ground". Would she still want her, if she really knew who, or what, Eddie is? Would she be disgusted if she learned about all of Eddie's fantasies?

How can Eddie trust her?

So... That's what making him run from Marisol. I do think he's making a genuine effort to move on from his old flames - Shannon and Buck.

I mean... Remember Eddie's talk with his tia? Learning that she had been married before, and refusing to even try dating someone else, until her friends dragged her out?

And ultimately this made her move on, meeting someone else. And soon she didn't regret trying again.

So Eddie is trying to move on from Shannon, and Buck.

But can he? Is he?

One thing about Buck's coming out, and the following scene, the talk with Eddie...

Noticed the buddie subtext, and the bisexual subtext of the lines when he talks about Marisol there? About needing to go home.

The "menu" is not the issue. The issue is that he doesn't want to go home, to Marisol. (Lol, there's btw that bicycle again, hanging on the wall behind Eddie's back. Bi subtext!!)

Eddie does desire her. ... He just doesn't love her. And that keeps happening... Because his heart is already taken.

[hellomynameisbisexual]