#Bisexual erasure

[witsserviceablesubstitute]

The way the actors' and showrunner's faces fell and froze when the interviewer called Edwin and Charles a gay/straight friendship continues to bolster my trust.

But also, that was just an accurate bisexual experience.

[scrambleseggy]

I don’t think people realize that erasure within certain groups in queer communities directly affects peoples perceptions of the violence and abuse those people can face and why. Hypervisibility and invisibility are both two sides of the same coin. Neither is better or worse than the other, because while hypervisibility can glorify the violence a group faces and grossly sexualizes it, invisibility aims to turn the camera away from another group so that they don’t get any ideas that people like them exist in the first place — let alone face harm for their presentation and identity.

Erasure isn’t just “feeling invisible” — it’s also the general media and population purposefully trying to undermine issues certain groups can face and ignore them so those groups feel like they have no outlets or support — whether it’s from society or their own communities. It’s often because they want to avoid the idea of the very existence of those groups as well.

I don’t really think people know what erasure truly is. And I think when people try to act like “it’s not that bad” they don’t even realize how that does more harm than good and feeds right into it.

[drchucktingle]

who is sweet barbara????

chucks wife

wildest thing about sweet barbara is that i have talked about her ON AND ON AND ON since my first online post all the way up until this very day (nearly a decade) but nobody seems to notice her because i am queer (she even appears in tinglers and is on the cover of EXPEDITION TO THE FROZEN LAKE)

it is almost as though when you are bisexual your hetero presenting partners become a ghost

in the early days all i would hear online when i would talk about her is: 'chuck is playing a character of a CONFUSED GAY MAN' instead of the VERY OBVIOUS OTHER CONCLUSION that bisexuals exist. imagine that

to be clear that is not at all what this kind asker is doing. this ask is wonderful thank you for your question YOU PROVE LOVE

JUST SAYING i have always found the larger reaction to sweet barbara very interesting and an amazing little social experiment in bisexual erasure

also reason i do not wear a ring is because 1 this tradition kind of makes me feel weird it is okay that others like it but there is a feeling about it that is personally not for me and 2 in a very LITERAL way i cannot wear any jewelry because of my autism i just cannot wear rings without getting riled up and having a dang breakdown

[lgbtqtext]

[ladyorlandodream]

I am going to use this gif so much, you have no idea.

[bisexual-coala]

I'm so sick of people erasing Korrasami's bisexuality. The comments on this are so infuriating

[poppletonink]

Bisexual Books

Bi: The Hidden Culture, History and Science of Bisexuality by Julia Shaw

Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

Perfect On Paper by Sophie Gonzales

Imogen, Obviously by Becky Albertalli

Greedy: Notes From A Bisexual Who Wants Too Much by Jen Winston

The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Bi: Notes For A Bisexual Revolution by Shiri Eisner

Verona Comics by Jennifer Dugan

Hani and Ishu's Guide To Fake Dating by Adiba Jaigirdar

Bisexual Men Exist by Vaneet Mehta

Hugged by Verity Ritchie

This Is Why They Hate Us by Aaron H. Aceves

Heartstopper Vol. 1 by Alice Oseman

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston

Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out by Various Authors

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Bisexual erasure is a pervasive issue that manifests in various ways across different areas of society. These examples highlight how bisexual erasure occurs across different areas of society, contributing to the invisibility and marginalization of bisexual individuals.

[tippenfunkaport]

"She-Ra is bad bisexual rep because all the bi/pan characters end up in m/f relationships!"

Not true! Perfuma is bi/pan and she ends up with Scorpia!

"Oh, well I like to headcanon Perfuma as a lesbian."

...so then you understand that's not the show's fault, right? That that's just a problem you made up in your head?

-

Excuse me a second, I need to scream about this...

Because this has come up over and over (esp on Twitter and TikTok) with people who want to claim that every bi/pan SPOP character ends up in a m/f relationship... by conveniently pretending Perfuma is not canonically bi/pan herself. And every time they are asked to elaborate why they are ignoring her canon status, they give the same answer: that they consider Perfuma a lesbian because now that she's with a woman, she's "not bi anymore"

And... yeah... you know that's not how it works, right? That being bi/pan is not just a phase you get over? That a bi/pan woman dating another woman doesn't suddenly make her a lesbian any more than it makes a bi/pan person dating someone of the opposite gender magically straight?

The person you are currently dating does not change your bi/pan status. Ever. And insisting it does, especially just so you can score some points by making up an issue about a show to be mad about, is super GD harm harmful to the real bi/pan people in your life.

(This is the exact same thing The Owl House fandom does with Lumity and why Dana had to make Luz present a whole slideshow in the cartoon reminding everyone she is still very much bi even though Amity is a lesbian. TOH fans kept insisting because Luz is dating Amity now, she's a lesbian. Nope. Her and Amity can be married for a billion years and that wouldn't change Luz's orientation.)

"But I heard that someone's roommate's cousin who worked with someone on the show once liked a fanart that showed Scorfuma with the lesbian flag so it's basically canon!"

First of all, the legend of this grows daily and I think it's really telling that this archival obsessed fandom only talks about this mythical like and yet has never been able to produce a single screenshot of it.

But for the sake of argument, let's say that this really happened and actually exists, that someone related to the show, however distantly, liked fanart once that implied Perfuma was a lesbian somehow. That still doesn't make it canon. People related to the show and even ND himself have liked and reblogged all sorts of stuff that isn't canon, including g/a, and have been very clear that the only canon is what happens within the show itself.

And, in the show, Perfuma is canonically bi/pan. We see her crushing on Bow, She-Ra, Huntara and Scorpia. The fact that people want to pretend the Bow thing never happened when he's the only character we see her actually date over the run of the show AND it's a major Season 1 plot point is wild to me and just shows the lengths people will go for bi/pan erasure.

And I get that some people enjoy using Perfuma to tell a story about comphet or coming out as a lesbian later in life and I am fully in favor of doing your thing with your headcanons in fanworks. But when it reaches the point it has now where fans are attacking other fans for saying Perfuma is bi/pan or attacking the show for not having any bi/pan character in same sex relationships when Perfuma is CANONICALLY bi/pan is ridiculous. 

Keep in mind that your headcanon is literally just something you made up in your head. It's pretend. Fun, yes, but NOT something you can use as justification to attack people over!

Especially when it's something like this that causes real world harm by perpetuating harmful stereotypes about bi/pan people being "just a phase" or a temporary state that changes based on who you date.

[ringo-ichigo]

I called out someone who insisted that no LGBT+ person would ever yell at a bi woman for getting married to a man and celebrating that at a Pride event because "the gays do not do the biphobia." I refuted this by pointing out that I, a bi woman, have experienced more biphobia from fellow LGBT+ people than from straight people. Biphobia absolutely exists within the community and I stated that by denying its existence, the rest of the community perpetuates the biphobia. Their response? Report the comment.

You may say you're not biphobic, but when you do this, you're only proving my point that you actually are. Because within this same period of time, I spoke to a straight person on this who instead of getting mad at the messenger about this, got angry and sad that this happens and instead chose to be a better voice for bi+ people when they could. And asked how to do that. This right here is why the bi+ community won't stop telling the larger LGT community that biphobia isn't a straights vs us issue. It's a gay on gay issue too.

[underthevveather]

I get really tired of people who aren't bisexual trying to define bisexuality for me and other bi people.

If we say, "Bisexuality is being attracted to two or more genders," believe us. If we say that our sexuality includes trans and nonbinary people, believe us. If we explain to you what our own bisexual experience is, believe us and support us.

Stop trying to erase trans/ nonbinary people from a sexuality that you don't even identify with to begin with.

Stop trying to define a sexuality with outdated definitions to fit whatever biphobic agenda you have going on.

And to my fellow bisexuals and bi allies, I love you all, and I hope you have a great day!

[intersexcat-tboy]

"everyone's a little OCD" → "everyone's a little bi" → "everyone's a little ADHD" → "everyone's a little autistic" → "everyone's a little intersex"

🙄

[moeitsu]

Since it's pride month I wanna talk about something I've noticed in the Red Dead Redemption fandom:

The Bisexual erasure of Sadie Adler and Arthur Morgan.

I apologize if this comes across as harsh, but it's something that's been on my mind since I started interacting w/ this media. And as a bisexual, I wanted to discuss it further.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with shipping these characters with the same sex. Personally, I am a Charthur shipper till the day I die. I don't ship Sadie with anyone but her husband, but I still enjoy seeing the fanart and headcanons of the women she's shipped with.

That being said, these characters are not lesbian or gay. That's literally a fact, and if you think otherwise it is bisexual erasure.

Let's start with Sadie Adler. Her entire character arc is getting revenge on the O'Driscolls for killing her husband. Whom she mourns for years, and talks about frequently with Arthur/other camp members. Now, if you want to ship her w/ Abigail or Molly or whomever, go for it!! But she has loved and still loves her husband. She is not a lesbian, and she didn't just magically turn into a lesbian after Jake's death. If she had any love interests other than Jake, this would make her bisexual. (even Sapphic is still a more appropriate term than lesbian)

The same goes for women in real life who have dated men first, then dated a woman. Just because their current partner is the same sex doesn't mean we can assume they are suddenly lesbian. Calling characters lesbians even if they have been in a relationship with men before is bisexual erasure.

This same concept is applied to Arthur Morgan. He had previous relationships with women. (one of whom he still has strong feelings for) and he is attracted to women. We see this with his greeting dialogue and when he compliments people. I believe Arthur's character is more likely to be bisexual than Sadie's, given his interactions w/ some of the men in the game. But that doesn't erase the fact that he's still attracted to the opposite sex. Arthur is not a gay man. Disregarding his past relationships w/ women is a form of bisexual erasure.

There is a huge double standard here because if these character's were actually lesbian/gay and the fandom decided to ship them with people of the opposite sex (i.e headcanon they are bi), there would be a major discourse.

Whenever bisexual women and men are presented in the media I always notice a few things:

Bi women are "secretly straight"

Bi women "don't know their lesbian yet"

Bi men are "secretly gay"

As well as this funny little graphic below ↓

Like I said before, I am bisexual. And if I'm being honest this years pride month has been exhausting and mildly infuriating with how the community seems to disregard bisexuals in a hetero relationship.

I stopped talking about my bisexuality with people because once they know I have been in a committed relationship with a man for seven years, I am suddenly excluded from the conversation.

I've had ex-friends tell me that I only identify as bisexual to "fit in" with the queer community. I've had people in college assume I was lesbian bc of the way I dressed, and then try to tell me that I must be secretly lesbian when I tell them I'm Bi. (Ppl also assumed I was non-binary bc of the way I presented but that's another story)

This stuff doesn't just happen to fictional characters, it happens to real people every single day. I'm honestly tired of ppl saying "well my headcanon doesn't hurt anybody, they're not real." Yes it does!! You are supporting Bi erasure!!

That's all I'm gonna say on this topic for now. I'd love to leave it open for discussion, but please be nice. This isn't a call-out or me trying to antagonize the queer rdr community. I just wanted to get it off my mind.

[drchucktingle]

Selena is having a weird day. It starts off simple enough, with a few household items disappearing mysteriously, but things quickly turn heartbreaking when Selena’s office excludes her from a queer teambuilding workshop. According to Selena’s new boss, her current hetero-presenting relationship invalidates her bisexuality.

Now Selena is on a mission to shake up the system and prove her new boss wrong, but as things continue to disappear around her, she realizes there’s more going than meets the eye. It’s quickly revealed that the physical manifestation of bi erasure is on Selena’s trail, and this ignorant living concept will stop at nothing to deny Selena’s queerness.

Fortunately, Selena is surrounded by a loving, supportive community who accept her exactly as she is, and they’re ready to put up a fight!

This important tale is 4,200 words of sexless bisexual validation because your queerness is not predicated by ignorant gatekeeping from a giant pink eraser.

----

please enjoy new no sex tingler NOT POUNDED BY BI ERASURE BECAUSE MY CURRENT HETERO-PRESENTING RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT INVALIDATE MY QUEERNESS out now on amazon or true buckaroo tier patreon

[thelostgirl21]

I really can't believe we are still having this discussion!

Do you guys not understand how easy it is, for flamboyant pansexual and bisexual men, to be mistaken for gay, and see their chances with the ladies (unless pansexual, bisexual, omnisexual or polysexual themselves) become nearly non existent?

Flamboyantly bi/pan men do not walk around expecting to eat pussy on a regular basis! That's not how their world works!

Straight women tend to avoid them (even when they explicitly state that they enjoy being in a relationship and/or having sex with women as much as they would any other gender) because they are perceived as still being in denial about being "so obviously gay"!

And gay men will typically go "Oh, you are so cute! Don't worry, I was where you were once, too. You'll figure it out!"

And the more "stereotypically gay" they look and behave, the harder it is going to be for them to convince monosexuals that they genuinely enjoy being romantically and/or sexually involved with women.

The pansexual / bisexual man stereotype, is them doing all they can to avoid letting their queerness show, and changing the label they give to their sexual orientation depending on the gender of their partner.

Because most cisgender gay men won't care if you don't "look gay enough" or fail to give them clear "gay vibes". They'll just trust that you're genuinely into men if you put their dicks into your mouth while looking very into it!

Straight cisgender women, however, are conditioned to fear the idea that "even if he's currently enthusiastically eating my pussy while sporting an erection, there's a risk he'll be leaving me for a man".

The pansexual / bisexual stereotype is invisibility. It's passing as straight when you're with a woman, and passing as gay when you're with a man.

Or, when you're not invisible, being disproportionately popular with the men, and only able to "occasionally get some" with pan/bi women.

It's not being flamoboyantly artistic with a melodic higher pitched voice and talking with your hands a lot, while having many powerful lords wanting to kill you because you can't keep your dick in your pants and you've been sleeping with so many of their wives, daughters and nieces that you've lost count!

Jaskier is one of the least stereotypical pansexual characters you could ever find on television! Because he's a freaking walking gay stereotype that doesn't get mistaken for being gay, and whose open pansexuality doesn't appear to harm his chances with the ladies one bit!

Prince/King Radovid belongs to the gay community. If you want to criticize the show's queer representation of gay men, and say that they're too heavily leaning into gay men stereotypes by having made him this sensitive, highly empathetic and emotionally intelligent man that shows great consideration for the needs of his partner, knock yourselves out!

But Jaskier's portrayal is meant to represent the non-monosexual a-spec community. He's been officially labelled as panromantic/sexual, sapioromantic/sexual.

He's not, and never has been, a gay character.

Arguing he's "bad queer representation", because he's heavily leaning into "gay stereotypes", is yet another example of bisexual erasure in society.

You are denying the unique experiences and relationship challenges that pansexual, bisexual, omnisexual and polysexual men are facing in how they present themselves to the world, and the impact that passing as either "straight" or "gay" is having on their romantic and sexual relationships.

If you're a flamboyant straight man fearing to be mistaken as gay, trust me, the flamboyant pan/bi/omni/poly men fully agree with you!

They keep being mistaken for gay all the time, and it greatly tends to ruin their chances with the ladies, too!

Thankfully, Jaskier is showing the world that being flamboyant should not hurt your popularity with women, and that it sure as hell doesn't make you gay!

So rejoice, he's arguing the exact same point you are!

Being flamboyant doesn't make you gay!

You could also be straight, bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, polysexual, etc.

Flamboyantly masculine men love romancing and having sex with women!

We keep saying it, and thankfully they've finally listened to us with the portrayal of Jaskier on "The Witcher"!

I call this a huge win for all flamboyant men that love women out there, regardless of orientation!

[werewolf-cuddles]

One of my posts about last year's Poison Ivy bi erasure debacle got a like again, and man...

You cannot convince me that fandoms don't have a problem with bisexual people, when the response to a prominent bisexual character seemingly having their bisexuality erased by a new writer calling her a lesbian was calls for celebration, and telling upset bisexual fans to get over it, or trying to gaslight them with claims that "Ivy was never bisexual in the main continuity" despite evidence to the contrary.

Like, fandom has had a biphobia problem for a long time, but I think that incident was probably the most blatant example of it I've ever seen.