#Incorrect ra

[the-corey-lynxx]

Horace: Which way did Will go?  Halt: Well, based on the direction of the wind, the broken sticks in the corner, and the slight disturbance in the dirt, I'd guess they went left.  Horace: You could really figure it out from that?  Halt: No, you idiot, Will sent me a text. See?

[arkangelo-7]

Bruce, fighting Ra’s al Guhl: I will never let you take my son! Damian is—

Ra’s: Fool! I’m not here for Damian.

Bruce: …

Bruce: …then why are you here?

Ra’s: To recruit my one true successor—Timothy Drake!

Bruce: the fuck

[somanypetals]

couldn't stop thinking about this tweet I saw

[bruciemilf]

Jason: I’d fold Batman like a paper towel.

Duke: So why don’t you want to fight with Bruce, then?

Jason: Are you on crack?

[tiger-grace]

Dick: oh no, is that a gray hair?

Steph, shaking her head sadly: twink death

Dick: nevermind, must be from the dog!

Cass, raising an eyebrow: twink immortality?

[emperor-neo]

Man, TimKon has to have craziest in-laws. Imagine what headache the After marriage dinners get.

Duke: hey um… can you pass the salt *eyeing Lex Luthor*

Lex: *takes the salt but moves it away from Duke*

Selina: God why are you even in here?!

Lex: Because I am Conner’s BIOLOGICAL father unlike you, you stealing broad—

Lois: *tiredly sighs* Oh my God, here we go again…

Bruce: Blood relation means nothing, Lex.

Dick: to quote Maya Angelou: "Family isn’t always blood, it’s the people in your life who want you in theirs”

*Lex proceeds to stand up and points at the person at the end of the table*

Kate: now, this is gonna be interesting

Clark: Lex can you sit down?

Lex: for all my Intellect and prowess what I don’t understand is…WHY ARE THEY HERE!! *points at the Al Ghuls*

Talia: quit embarrassing yourself, Luthor. Timothy is my beloved’s son and brother to two of my sons—

Selina: *looks at Talia tiredly* would you please move on?

Talia: No! *slams the table* you are only his Girlfriend. While I am the Mother of his sons.

Selina: No sane mother trains her children to be weapons of war *pulls out her nails*

Talia: you haven’t seen this mother. *pulls out a sword*

Damian: Mothers, can you all stop? It’s embarrassing.

Minkhoa: as far as I’m concerned, I’m the spouse.

Bruce: Please I beg of you don’t do this Minkhoa

Jim whispers to Barbara: is it always like this?

Barbara whispers back: only during holidays

Jim: remind me not to attend during it

Stephanie: I could get why Talia is here but why is he here *sideeyes Ra’s Al Ghul* Didn’t you steal Tim’s spleen?

Ra’s: I am Talia’s father which makes me the detective’s father-in-law, by extension Timothy’s Grandfather.

*Alfred audibly cocks his shotgun under the table*

Jason: Crazy mental gymnastics there, geezer.

Ra’s: It is a shame that the detective’s choice to spend eternity is with that abomination���

Lex: you take that back, he’s genetically perfect! He’s half of my crush I meant rival and half of me! Me! you ancient terroris—

*a chorus of outrage erupts*

Jon: WOAH WOAH!

Dick: HEY!!

Luke: neglecting the part where Lex just admitted to—

*cuts short by Lucius Fox*

Lucius whispers: I strongly advise, you don’t add fuel to whatever this is, Luke.

Minkhoa: I mean he’s not wrong…

Tim leans on Conner: Welp, that checks my ‘racism at the table’ bingo card

Jean Paul: You are all sinners! I condemn this unholy matrimony! No man can marry a man much less born out of unnatural means!

Conner: There goes the homophobia one *checks the bingo card*

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason: Hey, Damian, your momma so—

Damian: My mother committed multiple war crimes and is now locked in solitary confinement in a Bolivian prison.

Jason: Well, uh, your dad—

Damian: My father left when I was ten to go on a mission and consequently got lost in the time stream.

Jason: Well then...

Dick: Stop, Jason!

Jason: Your grandparents are so—

Damian: My grandmother floated into the sky like a balloon with too much helium when my grandfather spontaneously combusted.

[an-gothamite-aka-zannalial]

You know if Jason did become Talia's son I have the idea that he would be someone very famous among assassins and mercenaries, but in the hero community He is an anti-hero who must be captured and nothing more and is also a popular gossip item when it comes to hero failures (along side Roy of course).

As for the heroes he is just a red hood, Crime lord and anti-hero who has a special and complicated relationship with Batman, But for assassins and mercenaries who know enough about the world he is

An Al Ghul, the first child of Talia Al Ghul, the eldest grandson of Ra's Al Ghul, one of the princes of the League of Assassins and Shadows, someone you really have to watch out for because of his skills and position. And they realized that Talia would do anything for her child, even going against her father

Without his helmet he is one of the most feared people in the underworld, he knows many assassins and mercenaries thanks to all the missions he has undertaken and is friends with most of them.

So imagine.........

Dick: You know it's a rare month that Slade isn't trying to recruit me

Jason: Oh, that's because I asked him to look for something a few weeks ago

Dick: you ask deathstroke, ask ?

Jason: Yeah he owes me something

Dick: how ?

Tim: Sometimes I still miss my spleen you know

Jason: want me to ask someone to get it for you

Tim: who you gonna ask,It's literally in ra's

Jason: I can ask so many people like deathstroke,lady Shiva, mother of soul,deadshot, Talia, Constantine drakon, Dusan, nyssa, Ben Turner, merlyn. And more that I can ask, which one do you prefer

Tim:

Jason: what

Cass: I really want to know what happen to my dad

Jason: I can call someone to check on him, do you want

Cass: yes

Damian: this can be done if I can call my teacher akhi, but

Jason: which one do you mean Habibi I Will call them don't worry

Damian: how you gonna call him

Jason: I just call their phone number in my phone

Damian: you have their number

Jason: why not

Roy: you seem to be liked by all the assassin we just met huh

Jason: yeah they are my old friend

Roy: what

Jason: they just happen to be in the same misson with me

Bruce: Jay where did you find all of your trained goon

Jason: oh they are either fired form the league and join me, or just like me and follow me

Bruce: I'm not ready for that actually

Jason: good to hear

[gothamundernightlight]

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

*Harley trying to cheer up Robin

Harley: Don’t worry, you’re going to be fine.

Harley: You come from a strong line of lunatics!

Damian: *thinking of his family history, from both sides

Damian: That is actually quite reassuring???

[demiboydemon]

[cosmothealien358]

Part *checks notes* 6

[brucewaynehater101]

How the BruceQuest Went (paraphrased for humor)

Tim: "Bruce is alive."

Dick: "We've literally recovered his body with DNA proof."

Tim: "I have evidence."

Dick: "Yeah?"

Tim: *holds up a painting*

Dick: "..."

~~~

Tim: *minding his own business (and stealing a lot)*

Ra's: "Hey." *slides over resources*

Tim: "Didn't you just try to kill me?"

Ra's: "I knew they wouldn't succeed."

Tim: "..."

Tim: "Fair enough."

~~~

Tim: *gets stabbed*

Tim: "Bruce would have handled this so much better than me."

~~~

Tim: *wakes up and notices things are a little green*

White Ghost: "Hey."

Tim: "Did you McDip me?"

White Ghost: *considers quitting*

Tim: "Nah. Never mind."

~~~

Ra's: "Destroy the Spiders."

Tim: "No."

Ra's: *pulls out Tam*

Tim: "Fair enough."

~~~

Tim: *blows up Ra's bases*

Ra's: *surprise Pikachu face*

Tim: "Shouldn't have given me access to your systems."

Ra's: "Hmm... Alright."

Tim: *gets a bad feeling* "Now wait a minute..."

~~~

Tim: *perfectly plans out countering Ra's*

Ra's: *has a sword and a foot perfect for kicking people out of windows*

Tim: "Whelp... at least Bruce would be proud of me."

~~~

Dick: "How'd you know that I'd catch you from falling out a window even though I wasn't supposed to be over there and merely rushed over when I had a feeling?"

Tim: "I was for sure planning on your brotherly instincts. Good job."

[jennrypan]

Jason: Yo, Tim wanna see something?

Tim:..Against my better judgement, sure.

Jason, staring directly at him and then suddenly he disappears just to appear next to him:

Tim: WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT WAS THAT?

Jason: I dunno, something I did once..I think I can only do it twice..that was the second time.

Tim: WHA-? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

Jason: I can't do it again, that's the last time I'll be able to do that

Tim: ..Then WHY the hell did you show me that!?

Jason: Cuz if you tell anyone else, they'll never believe you and you can't make me show them.

Tim: What's wrong with you?!

Jason: Timmy..I will do anything and everything..just cuz it's a little funny to me.

Tim:

Jason, holding his hand out and suddenly the All-Blades appears: I also have this but I won't use it again for the same reason

Tim: WHAT THE FUCK!!

[unicornblossom13]

Megatron: These Autobots are so predictable with their feelings.

Tarn: As were you.

Megatron:… What?

Tarn: Elevated heart rate, dilated pupils. Optimus Prime means something to you.

Megatron: No, he doesn’t. He chose his side, I chose mine.

[p1nkshield]

Dick in passing: Dami, I think the next time Ra’s tries something I think you should call him peepaw instead of Grandfather.

Damian:…

Dick: just to see what happens.

Later during a fight

Damian: For the last time peepaw, I will never return to your side!

Ra’s: You are gravely mist-… what?

Damian:…

Ra’s:…

Dick is just bird laughing in the distance while taking out assassins.

Crying and absolutely howling, clutching his stomach while bodying ninjas.

[catra-come-out]

Horde Prime: Status report on She-Ra?

Catra: Adora has been taken out

Horde Prime: Very go-

Catra: We went to a lovely restaurant and had a candlelit dinner. She proposed. My last name is now Rainbowfist