#Improving dementia

[dhyzenmedia]

Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy

[elisabethbabarci]

SOLACE

Grief is a natural human response which causes one to introspectively examine their internalized anger, sadness, despair, anguish, shame, resent, disappointment, regret, or resentment. It is normal for one to sequester themselves within life, remain in solitude, become unresponsive due to their bereavement, and experience avoidance or close the door to personal growth or connections to the outside world due to unprocessed emotions, lack of trust or faith in all that they have ever known or experienced, or an inner denial that they will escape the confines of their mental, emotional, or physical pain. Often, many will experience denial, numb their state of existence, experience withdrawal from normal activities which they once took pleasure in, and even experience a spiritual existential period of denial of a higher power’s existence to help in their time of need. During this period of time, it is essential to comfort, remain a stable force within the lives of others that have endured short or long term pain of having to witness, endure, comprehend, deal, or who have had to slowly observe their loved one slowly passing away, without the ability to find a cure, or the feeling of powerlessness to control the situation at hand.

Our gift to another is our gentle presence, empathy, love, patience, and compassion, when one experiences bereavement. It is imperative that one seeks solace during their time of need which is critical to their revival when one has endured internal pain from absence, loss, abandonment, death, internal pain, or ongoing trauma. Loss can appear in many different forms from illness, loss of a trusted relationship or beloved pet, disruption or disconnection within your security “safety zone” due to financial, mental, or emotional turmoil, or even the moments before the final phase of a loved ones spiritual transcendence to a higher elevated state into the light. It is the need for a final sense of closure, living within an isolating state of numbness or internal pain, the denial or paralysis to progress due to fear of the future or the unwillingness to temporary acknowledge the pain that is surfacing. One may experience a feeling that part of them has died which results in the disconnection from the self, or the experience of loneliness to live another day without your counterpart at your side, which makes one question their meaning or purpose. Often, many that experience guilt will experience substantial amounts of survivors guilt where they have survived however, their loved one endured a life threatening illness or event, where their physical or mental state deteriorated, before their loved ones eyes. Loss can occur slowly, incrementally, or suddenly. It is traumatic to lose another that meant the world to you, that was your source of safety or represented a form of unconditional love. You can never replace or mirror another’s existence, for their imprint cascades a frequency of acceptance, trust, and peace within. Although the etherical cords might be severed, the divine spiritual connection with your loved one can never be separated, not even in the state of death.

We are recycled reincarnations of previous lives, with a diverse rich tapestry of existence, as we travel with our spiritual counterparts in many lives, to enable spiritual expansion, ascension, and emancipation, to enable a higher conscious state of awareness. We ultimately return to our natural state which is that of unconditional love, unification, and infinite peace. The peace and love you found in another is within you, as frequency matches like. We cannot control the experiences we may encounter, however, we must transcend and transmute the internal pain in a healthy manner, to enable us to have the courage to live another day. You have the strength to do this.

The grieving process is a period of time when compassion, comfort, patience, and understanding are essential ingredients in the recovery process. Engaging in the mindful practice of meditation for the mind, body and soul, physical activities such as slowly re-entering within your comfort zone into the public realm, engaging the mind through reading, giving yourself permission to allow your emotions to surface, or partake in spiritual exercises such as yoga can alleviate and mitigate the physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental trauma one might experience during their healing process. You will enter into a sequence of removing distortion and illusion to find peace, clarity, and inner strength. It is imperative for one to recognize that you have to be patient, remain vigilant with remaining strong, and to acknowledge that grief is a response to a traumatic event, it is neither the cause, and it is not a permanent state of mind, for it gives us the precious gift of release, by acknowledging what harms us to our core, which then allows the feeling to surface, to experience catharsis. You can not reverse what has transpired, you can not step into the place of another’s pain or endure the pain for them. With gentle compassion, you can offer your support, help, and offer your presence as the healing soul is reaching a reconfiguration phase of recognizing, as they are internalizing what has transpired at a higher level of consciousness.

For those that have not experienced grief of a loved one, I can adequately explain to you what it feels like. For a moment please visualize a house, a house that is familiar, a house that is filled with memories, celebrations, and milestones. This house represents the cornerstone of your existence, and within the confines of this dwelling, it holds an individual that you have chosen to share your life with. You open the door, they come towards you, they ask you to get an object, you retrieve it, you come back, and they are no where to be found. You enter into a state of fear, anxiety, and panic as you are now placed in a situation where you have to confront the loss and are immersed in feelings of grief, loss, sadness, fear, abandonment, regret, and confusion. You begin to fear a higher power above all you have ever known, as you are now experiencing scarcity, loneliness, despair, and sadness. You look everywhere within the house, but have to confront the emotion head on, that they are no longer within your realm of experience. You plead, you cry, you throw a tantrum, you scream at the top of your lungs which is then muted, you want to exit the house but are trapped with the memories, and feel suffocated, you want to reverse time, you want to return to a life of innocence where the world was predictable, harmonious, and at peace however, you are sequestered within your own thoughts. The walls are closing in. The house then transforms into a box, where you are observing your own feelings, emotions, and mental anguish. It is a period of stillness, darkness, silence envelopes your sense of being, you then see a sliver of light, however, you do not want to walk forward because you feel guilt and shame to progress, however, the warm presence of this light enables you to regain your focus, hope, trust, within yourself. The light enables you to exit the body and recognize that the box represents your compartmentalized state of existence, it is your sacred memory of that individual. This box has now become your archive, where you are able to store it in a safe environment, where you can access these memories on a later date with an open mind, healed heart, and strength of will. The body may be gone, but the memories you create last a lifetime. Please note, your loved one wants you to live again, feel again, experience again, love again, trust again, and most importantly believe again. In honour of your loved one, you must move forward despite the pain, anguish, resent, sadness, grief, and depression. You must pull through. To achieve your restorative state, you must be at peace with yourself, forgive yourself, return to a place where you enable yourself the permission and ability to imagine, discover, and explore life, as this box is safe within your heart, where no one can touch it, where you then become the sacred guardian of these memories. You then acknowledge that you are now able to extract and possess wisdom from this experience to help another in the world around you that is experiencing the same form of loss, in a different stream and state of their conscious experience. You then recognize that you are safe, that nothing can disturb your peace of mind, you are able to take back control of a situation that has deteriorated you temporarily but rebuilt your construct to withstand despair.

It is challenging to gather and muster your strength to face another day. It is difficult to regain the hope and joy in one’s heart when you are consistently experiencing the anguish of grief in the form of metaphysical, emotional, and physical pain. It is a stagnated period when you long to see your loved one again, and can not face the act of removing their memories from a home you have shared. Time moves still, where you will experience moments of happiness again, just to feel guilt the next moment for encompassing joy. Your strength is your persistence to keep moving forward, to have the courage to get out of bed, to find mechanisms to lift your spirits, and most importantly to come to peace with the recognition that a fragment of you is lost. Remember, you are within the loss, and you will overcome the loss. Loss signifies to all of us that we were brave to experience love in its fullest unconditional form, that we were open to the connection with another, that we remained strong for another and lived for another beyond ourselves. It is the moment you have to recognize and give yourself solace and permission to forgive yourself, for you did everything in your power to be present with your loved one in their last periods of life. Always know within your sacred heart that the physical body may not remain within this realm but the consciousness still lives on, and our soul tribe or soulmate will never be disconnected from our etherial bodies. We are part of the spiritual world, even within human form, our conscious state of awareness allows and permits the permission to recognize that we are interconnected and interdependent within it, as it is part of our human experience to move beyond the body, and recognize and learn from our past incarnations, our past trajectories within this lifetime, and most importantly recognize that you are more than the body, your experiences, your beliefs, and your patterns. When you re-ignite the spirit to live again, to live within fear, to move beyond fear, to accept that you do not have to endure but persevere, you will be able to once again move beyond the destruction you feel or experience within yourself. No one can remove or take away your precious moments with another, and your experiences is what connects you to your loved one, and enables you to open up to others. Embrace the warmth and love of your divine compassion within, recognize that peace is present during your difficulties, cultivate solitude and inner reflection for when we comfort our anguish we transcend it. Moving beyond the hurt does not erase the memory of a loved one, it emancipates the soul from the confines of stagnated grief, despair, and depression. To resonate and remain on the same frequency as our loved one, we must forgive ourselves and remain within a state of self contemplation and peace. It will come in time, I can assure you of this.

Anchor yourself within your life. At this moment, please know that grief does not have a strict timeline or guideline. Allow yourself to experience loss, live in the past by revisiting memories of what united you to your loved one, recognize that within time your body will restore itself, you will move out of a sequestered stagnated state of existence into a period of true acceptance, and you will regain your strength to enable change, to allow your catharsis period to begin. Address your feelings, enable another to form connections with you, to allow you to see the world as safe again, and within time, your trust will be restored with the reassurance that your loved one will always be with and reunited with you no matter time, distance, or whether they have transcended over to the spiritual realm. Time is of the essence, and it heals all wounds. Give yourself the permission to cry as it is a natural form of release of tension, and it enables you to express what is deep within your heart, as the body requires restorative release to channel new forms of healing within, as it accumulates and discharges energetic sequences to enable peace to be reestablished within. Grief is an emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical process, and when you acknowledge or confront the internal pain, through communication, introspective healing, or the gentle process of recollecting memories, it bridges the gap between existing and living. Take comfort in the knowledge that tomorrow will be another opportunity to heal, rejuvenate, and restart, you are not weak, you are healing, you are feeling, and you are experiencing and processing your sorrow to enable natural transformations to occur. Without judgement, always observe what is surfacing within the body, surround yourself with love, and always remember, before a Phoenix is to rise again, it cries, as our eyes are the window to the soul and represent our internal lens on how we experience, view, perceive, or deconstruct life within all its glorious stages. As it sheds its tears, and transforms into a magnificent being of strength, hope, and resilience, it accepts the dichotomy of pleasure with pain to comprehend the scales of life and rebirth. Our tears spiritually cleanse and cathartically release our emotional and mental states of anguish, to bring forth renewal. Remaining sentimental or expressing our emotion in a safe environment, enables us to reconnect with our divine feminine within, which allows us to become vulnerable, and presents empathy and compassion in the wake of our despair. Persevering beyond our intense emotional states enable us to become aware of the cycles within life, to appreciate the gift of life, and most importantly, enables us to be awakened to the celebration of life, through our purification through catharsis. Return to a restored healed perception of life with confidence that the world is safe and secure, that suffering is a temporary state of the mind, that human connection unites souls through the power of trust and love, and the recognition that you must honour yourself with the gift of time, for it leads to the profound awakening of introspective realization of who we are at our core, and enables a shift within our conscious paradigm to usher in recovery. Above all, always remember you are loved, powerful, and will overcome, heal, and resurrect from your solitude with grace, through your spiritual growth, awakening, and ascension, as you embrace the eternal cycle of life.

[blackgumball]

i know intellectually that america isnt over yet but it seems like the last season of a tv show that was never any good but has been noticeably decreasing in quality for the past couple years

[caringfordementia]

Surviving vs. Thriving - how our self-care routines can differ.

[caluski]

this is a sign that i should start playing memory games again

[mehmetyildizmelbourne-blog]

Brain Recharge: 3 Essential Rests You Need for Peak Cognitive Performance

I explain "Why Sleep, Mental Breaks, and Downtime Are the Secret Weapons Your Brain Needs to Thrive and Slow Aging"

Why Sleep, Mental Breaks, and Downtime Are the Secret Weapons Your Brain Needs to Thrive and Slow Aging Last year, I wrote an essay that truly opened some eyes — and I wasn’t surprised. Why? Because I’ve been there myself. When I was younger, I used to think that sleep and rest were luxuries, something I could sacrifice for the sake of productivity.  I pushed myself hard, ignoring the signs…

[elblogdecleo]

Music Therapy: A Symphony for Well-Being

Music therapy is a discipline that uses music and its elements (sound, rhythm, melody, and harmony) for therapeutic purposes, aiming to improve mental, emotional, and physical health. Since ancient times, music has been valued for its ability to influence emotions and mood, but it has only been in recent decades that it has been formally recognized as a valuable therapeutic tool. What is Music…

[dixiedelight777]

Boost Your Brain with Fast Brain Booster Dietary Supplements

Do you ever feel like your brain is running at a slower pace than usual? It’s not uncommon to feel mentally exhausted, especially when facing many challenges in your daily life. But what if there was a way to boost your cognitive function and improve your memory? That’s where Fast Brain Booster dietary supplements come in! In today’s fast-paced world, being mentally sharp is crucial to staying…

[aethereallynephilim]

2023/09/10

this week has been up and down. really up and down. i hate the heat. i hate it a lot because it overstimulates me but from said heat did allow me to realise a recovery win, i can feel the fact it is very hot.

i did my dance class and it was so fun, i hope to be able to do another taster session soon enough but there are things that need to be dealt with first.

my father hasn't been well recently, he has been less lucid and i just found myself missing him a lot, i miss the father i used to have. i guess that's why i refer to him as my father, i am trying to distance myself from the shell of a man he is now. dementia sucks, and therefore once again this year i am doing the memory walk!

if you would like to donate to my fundraiser for the memory walk, drop me a line and i'll send you the link! my goal is £160 for this walk and i would be forever grateful if you helped me reach this goal!

i've been making slow progress with preparing for my next set of lamda exams. which i am super proud of.

yeah this week has been up and down, but there's another one coming!

[ghosts-and-glory]

Is Shamura training martial arts after being taken into Lamb's cult? If they enjoyed complexity and bloodshed of war than it'd be probably dissapointing for them if they had to... drop it all

Full under the cut because this turned out really long

Upon joining the cult Shamura was a shell of their former self. They join the cult dissenting, the long term effects of the crown still clawing at the edges of their mind, but after a few days they’re mortal, just themself. Without the crown to hold them together they suffer like their injury was yesterday.

The Lamb has the doctor, Puar, perform their usual tests on them. Shamura is hardly there. They don’t know their own name, can hardly speak, can’t stand or track movement.

There was no wisdom in their slurred words. No power in the way their hands shook.

The outlook is bad.

The Lamb doesn’t really want to help them, after everything, why should they. Shamura who had The Lamb’s entire race and family killed, who killed them aswell and countless of their followers. It would cost them so much, to try and help someone who spent so long just trying to destroy them and everything they had. The time, energy, resources it would cost and they didn’t even know if they could get better.

Deciding it wasn’t worth it was one thing, but getting the other ex bishops to understand was a whole other, even the doctor disagreed with them.

Dr Puar took on being their primary caregiver. They’d been a doctor for the past hundred years and seen concussions and dementia but nothing nearly as severe as this. They wanted to help Shamura but didn’t know how.

It wasn’t until Narinder joined the cult that The Lamb saw any reason to help Shamura. But there was something wrong with him and Shamura knew something, they just had to get to it.

Kallamar was the ex bishop Puar wanted the help from the most. He was scared of the lamb and red crown but he loved Shamura more.

The Lamb took Puar and Kallamar to the ruins of the temples in Anchordeep and Silk Cradle. They spent days digging through the decimated remains of the libraries for something, anything on this type of injury.

It seemed that they where looking down possible years of intense recovery. Needed herbs and medicines that may no longer exist, techniques Puar had never heard of. But they would try.

Puar took careful and detailed notes. Timed Shamura’s responses, wrote down everything they said, tracked eating, drinking, sleeping and every symptom they displayed. Improvements where slow and sometimes nonexistent at first. They took full minutes to respond and only in single words, barley moved, couldn’t feed themselves and suffered constant migraines.

The one thing that seemed to help them the most was their siblings. They didn’t remember them most days but every time one of they came to check in it raised their spirits. One of their faces was the only thing they could focus on sometimes.

Kallamar insisted he wasn’t a doctor but still worked around the infirmary, helping Shamura was the only thing he’d do without complaining. Heket spent hours sitting in silence with them, brought them food and flowers and changed their bandages. Leshy was the only thing that could get them to smile and they where the only person he would ever lower his voice for, he told them stories even though they hardly listened.

Improvements brought new challenges. They got better at speaking full sentences and following conversations but it revealed how fractured their memory was. Forgetting names, places and important events, how often they forgot where they where, they asked the same questions over and over again.

They complained of seeing and hearing things, phantom pains with seemingly no rhyme or reason. The sun hurt their eyes, rain gave them headaches, always sleeping but always tired. They would suddenly backslide constantly. One day could walk with minimal help and the next, couldn’t even hold a pen in their hand. Have a full conversation one day and hardly spit out their name tomorrow.

Until the day Puar looked Shamura in the eye and for once they saw him. Didn’t look past them with their blank stare but looked at them. They would ask to sit outside at night in the fresh air. They seemed to know now who they are, what they where, what they lost. A tinge of grief in their words.

Improvements brought frustration. On days they remembered who they where they were overcome with a mix of anger, guilt and despair. They where a god. They had bore down on armies, killed men with a twitch of a finger, brought other gods to their knees, and now they could hardly bring a cup to their mouth.

Emotionally, their siblings said they’d never seen them like this before. Before Shamura could be frustrated but their temper was cold and quiet. Now they wore a short fuse and suffered constant mood swings. It angered them that they couldn’t read, that their hands were numb, that they couldn’t walk without a cane, couldn’t go out in the sun, couldn’t string a full sentence together, couldn’t recognize their siblings faces, couldn’t feed themselves, couldn’t sleep without drugs, everything they lacked and lost wore them down.

Regardless, they where unusually steadfast. They would always pick back up. If they got frustrated they would try again in a few days. They tried anything Puar asked of them, anything for the smallest iota of improvement.

The outlook was better.

—————

This got out of control and took me like three days between the art and write up. I got really excited when I saw this ask cause the answer is so devastating. If I was taking Narinder’s trauma seriously I’m not gonna just ignore Shamura’s traumatic brain injury.

As a side note, I’m very unsure how to write the medical stuff, my guess is that cotl is based around 1300’s-1700’s but that’s a wide net to cast. My excuse for the stronger understanding of medicine and trauma is magic.

[batboyblog]

Things Biden and the Democrats did, this week #25

June 28-July 5 2024

The Department of Labor's Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA). Is putting forward the first ever federal safety regulation to protect worker's from excessive heat in the workplace. As climate change has caused extreme heat events to become more common work place deaths have risen from an average of 32 heat related deaths between 1992 and 2019 to 43 in 2022. The rules if finalized would require employers to provide drinking water and cool break areas at 80 degrees and at 90 degrees have mandatory 15-minute breaks every two hours and be monitored for signs of heat illness. This would effect an estimated 36 million workers.

The Federal Emergency Management Agency announced $1 Billion for 656 projects across the country aimed at helping local communities combat climate change fueled disasters like flooding and extreme heat. Some of the projects include $50 Million to Philadelphia for a stormwater pump station and combating flooding, and a grant to build Shaded bus shelters in Washington, D.C.

The Department of Transportation announced thanks to efforts by the Biden Administration flight cancellations at the lowest they've been in a decade. At just 1.4% for the year so far. Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg credited the Department's new rules requiring automatic refunds for any cancellations or undue delays as driving the good numbers as well as the investment of $25 billion in airport infrastructure that was in the Bipartisan Infrastructure Law.

The Department of Transportation announced $600 million in the 3rd round of funding to reconnect communities. Many communities have been divided by highways and other Infrastructure projects over the years. Most often effecting racial minority and poor areas. The Biden Administration is dedicated to addressing these injustices and helping reconnect communities split for decades. This funding round will see Atlanta’s Southside Communities reconnected as well as a redesign for Birmingham’s Black Main Street, reconnecting a community split by Interstate 65 in the 1960s. 

The Biden Administration approved its 9th offshore wind power project. About 9 miles off the coast of New Jersey the planned wind farm will generated 2,800 megawatts of electricity, enough to power almost a million homes with totally clear power. This will bring the total amount of clean wind power generated by projects approved by the Biden Administration to 13 gigawatts. The Administration's climate goal is to generate 30 gigawatts from wind.

The Biden Administration announced funding for 12 new Regional Technology and Innovation Hubs. The $504 million dollars will go to supporting tech hubs in, Colorado, Montana, Indiana, Illinois, Nevada, New York, New Hampshire, South Carolina, Florida, Ohio, Oklahoma, and Wisconsin. These tech hubs together with 31 already announced and funded will support high tech manufacturing jobs, as well as training for 21st century jobs for millions of American workers.

HHS announced over $200 million to support improved care for older Americans, particularly those with Alzheimer’s and related dementias. The money is focused on training primary care physicians, nurse practitioners, and other health care clinicians in best practices in elder and dementia care, as well as seeking to  integrate geriatric training into primary care. It also will support ways that families and other non-medical care givers can be educated to give support to aging people.

HHS announced $176 million to help support the development of a mRNA-based pandemic influenza vaccine. As part of the government's efforts to be ready before the next major pandemic it funds and supports new vaccine's to try to predict the next major pandemic. Moderna is working on an mRNA vaccine, much like the Covid-19, vaccine focused on the H5 and H7 avian influenza viruses, which experts fear could spread to humans and cause a Covid like event.

[nenelonomh]

improving your memory

having a good memory is like having a personal archive of valuable information at your fingertips. it enhances efficiency by allowing you to recall facts, dates, and tasks quickly, making daily life and work more productive.

good memory also aids in learning, helping you retain knowledge and skills, which makes acquiring new information easier. it plays a crucial role in problem-solving by enabling you to draw from past experiences to tackle current issues.

additionally, remembering details about people—such as their names, interests, and past conversations—helps build and maintain strong relationships. keeping your memory sharp also has health benefits, as studies have shown it can delay cognitive decline and reduce the risk of conditions like dementia.

essentially, a good memory is a mental toolbox that equips you to handle life's challenges more effectively and can even help you stay organized and on top of things. improving your memory can be achieved through a combination of lifestyle changes and mental exercises.

below are some strategies:

stay mentally active: keeping your brain engaged is crucial for maintaining cognitive function. activities like solving puzzles, reading books, playing chess, or even learning a new language or musical instrument can create new neural pathways and enhance mental agility. continuous learning and challenging your mind can prevent cognitive decline and improve overall brain function.

get enough sleep: during sleep, your brain processes and consolidates information from the day. deep sleep stages, particularly REM sleep, are essential for memory consolidation. aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night to ensure your brain gets the rest it needs to function optimally. establishing a regular sleep routine and creating a restful sleep environment can also improve sleep quality.

eat a balanced diet: nutrition plays a significant role in brain health. foods rich in antioxidants, such as berries, and those high in healthy fats, like nuts and avocados, can protect the brain from oxidative stress. omega-3 fatty acids found in fish are particularly beneficial for brain function. vitamins, especially vitamin E and B vitamins, are essential for maintaining cognitive health. staying hydrated is also important, as dehydration can affect cognitive abilities.

exercise regularly: physical activity increases blood flow to the brain, which can enhance memory and cognitive function. regular exercise promotes the growth of new brain cells and improves the connections between them. activities such as aerobic exercises, strength training, and even yoga can be beneficial. aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise per week to keep your brain healthy.

practice mindfulness and meditation: these techniques can help reduce stress, which is known to negatively impact memory. mindfulness and meditation encourage relaxation and focus, allowing your brain to function more efficiently. regular practice can increase grey matter in the brain, which is associated with improved memory and learning. incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine can help you stay present and retain information better.

stay organized: keeping your environment and tasks organized can significantly improve your ability to remember things. using tools like calendars, to-do lists, and notes can help you manage your time and responsibilities more effectively. breaking tasks into smaller, manageable steps and setting reminders for important deadlines can also enhance your ability to remember and complete tasks.

limit sugar intake: high sugar consumption has been linked to cognitive decline and impaired memory function. excessive sugar intake can lead to inflammation and oxidative stress, which can damage brain cells. reducing your sugar intake and opting for healthier alternatives can help protect your brain and improve cognitive function over time.

stay socially active: engaging in social activities and maintaining relationships can stimulate your brain and keep it sharp. social interactions can provide mental stimulation and emotional support, both of which are important for brain health. joining clubs, volunteering, or simply spending time with friends and family can help improve your memory and overall cognitive function.

incorporating these strategies into your daily routine can help keep your brain healthy and improve your memory. consistency is key, so try to make these practices a regular part of your life.

i hope this post was helpful! 🫶nene

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Day 10: porch swing

Masterlist flufftober 🎃

Reblog if you liked it!

You visited your mother frequently at the sanatorium, as it had been a tough blow to accept that you had to make a life without her. Senile dementia, they said, likely caused by a combination of other illnesses, but that was what it was in the end.

You tried to spend as much time as possible during those visits because, even though you knew she was better cared for there, you didn’t want her to think you had abandoned her. Fortunately (in some way), your mother had found an old friend there, none other than Mrs. Diana Reid. It had been years since you’d seen her, and you felt guilty thinking about how poorly you and her son had communicated, to the point that you never knew her schizophrenia had escalated to the extent that she had to be placed there.

The two elderly women had their good and bad days, but overall, your mother enjoyed the literature workshops Diana taught, and Diana, in turn, loved watching your mother knit. She had even learned to make a few things, including a purple scarf meant for her son, whom you hadn’t seen there even once since your mother began living there.

Diana often talked to you about him, telling you things he mentioned in his letters, and all you could do was feel touched. Once upon a time, when the world was simpler and you were younger, you had a bit of a soft spot for the boy, without realizing that what you felt was called love. It was a childish thing, even silly, you could say, but you often found yourself smiling when you thought of him, and you never wanted to spend the day with anyone else, making him stay at your house until late at night, ending in a sleepover.

You had always been more daring and carefree, so you often showed up with new cuts and bruises. He, so calm and proper, always tried to dissuade you from your impulsive plans, but in the end, he joined in, claiming he only did it to look after you. Climbing trees, hunting for bugs, and looking for trouble were the things your childhood was filled with. And for a sickly, fearful boy like Spencer, those adventures were incredible experiences.

One of those weekends when you could visit your mother, you noticed that you couldn’t see Diana anywhere. You assumed she was in a consultation or busy with other activities, but after a couple of hours without any sign of her, you started to worry.

“Excuse me, is Mrs. Reid okay?” you hoped she hadn’t had any health complications or suffered any incident. “I just… I haven’t seen her today.”

“Diana? Apparently, her son requested permission to transfer her to stay with him a few days ago. But as far as I know, she’s fine, miss.”

“Oh, I’m so glad,” you replied with relief. “I was afraid she had gotten worse. My mother and she are friends, so I was worried. About both of them, of course.”

“Don’t worry, she’s in good hands,” the nurse reassured you, slightly moved by your concern. “Has your mother been improving?”

Following that question, the two of you started chatting, and the matter of your mother’s friend was forgotten, at least for that day. Work and other activities kept your mind busy until your next visit to the sanatorium, nearly a week later. You decided to buy flowers for your mother so she could decorate the nightstand next to her bed, along with some pastries to share.

However, it was a huge surprise when you arrived at the courtyard area (where the nurse had told you she was) and saw her sitting at one of the tables, accompanied by Diana Reid and another person you could only see from behind—a head of messy, golden hair.

A strange feeling grew as you approached, one you couldn’t identify until you heard the voice of the stranger. It had become deeper, of course, but it was still the same voice.

“Spencer?”

The man nearly fell out of his chair when he saw you, looking as pale as if he had seen a ghost and equally shocked by your appearance. You thought it was probably silly of him to think he wouldn’t run into you there, but you still found it endearing. His features had definitely changed, making him more of a man and less of the shy boy you had known.

“My dear!” your mother murmured, visibly excited. “Look who came to visit.”

He wasted no time, standing up fully and wrapping you in a happy hug. At first, he feared you might pull away from the contact, but that fear disappeared when you enthusiastically returned the greeting.

“I’m so happy to see you!”

“Me too! My mom and your mom have been keeping me up to date,” he laughed playfully. His body felt so soft against yours, giving you an inexplicable sense of security.

When you pulled away, you couldn’t help but notice that your mother and Mrs. Reid were looking at each other with complicity, as if they were hiding a secret.

“I brought, uh… something to eat. We can share it.”

Spencer found another chair and placed it next to him so you could sit down, inviting you into the conversation he had been having with the women, which you found fascinating. Every now and then, you would discreetly glance at him and try to get him to talk as much as possible. Although you already knew some things from Diana, chatting with your old friend felt refreshing.

It was uplifting to see both women so calm, and the extra company was so pleasant that the hours passed by like minutes. The afternoon had already turned into evening when you said your goodbyes to your mothers, and as you walked out of the sanatorium, you and Spencer stood there looking at each other for a moment.

Without Diana or your mother there, you both seemed too shy to start speaking, unsure of what to say.

"Did you come by car?"

“No, I was planning on calling a cab to get to the airport.”

“Oh, are you leaving so soon?”

“Yeah, I was thinking of heading back today. I mean… I didn’t expect to see anyone, so…”

“I completely understand! Don’t worry. You probably have other commitments, I don’t want to take up your time.”

“No, actually I bought a ticket for an open flight. So I can take it whenever I want.”

That information carried an implicit invitation, discreet enough that if you squinted, you might miss it, and you didn’t hesitate for a second before speaking.

“You could come over to my place, if you want. Have a drink, dinner, or whatever you’d like. You know, for old times’ sake.”

He immediately smiled, pleased that you had invited him, as he didn’t want to be presumptuous by suggesting spending more time together. After all, he didn’t know if you were as excited about seeing each other as he was.

Spencer happily accepted, and then you guided him to your car, where you set off. You had tried to find a sanatorium close to your house, in case of an emergency, so it only took a few minutes to arrive.

The house, still very familiar to Spencer, was where your mother, your late father, and you had lived most of your life. Now, it looked renewed, as if you had recently painted it, exuding that feeling of nostalgia and warmth.

“It’s still there,” Spencer noted as he glanced at the porch.

Many years ago, when you were children, during the summer heat, you loved sitting on the wooden swing there to eat ice cream in amounts that were probably unhealthy for kids. Apparently, this memory was a fond one for your friend, as he smiled at the sight.

“A while back, we hired someone to varnish and reinforce it. So I guess we could sit here. Like before, huh?”

“Sure,” he murmured, excited by the idea.

You went inside, and once you set down your things, you headed to the fridge to take out some cheese, cold cuts, and crackers you had recently bought, all to pair with a bottle of wine you had been gifted for your birthday.

“I don’t like drinking alone,” you confessed as he helped you carry the tray of food “It depresses me.”

You heard him chuckle as the two of you stepped outside. Night had already fallen over the city, so you turned on the soft, warm light that illuminated the porch and took a seat, with him joining you soon after.

For a moment, once again, neither of you knew what to say. You simply swayed slightly, as if trying to make an idea come to mind, but you decided the best way to break the silence was to pour a couple of glasses. After a while, the wine seemed to make everything lighter, and the two of you began to talk about whatever came to mind.

It was an intimate conversation, almost in whispers, and at one point, you made a silly joke that caused your bodies to lean toward each other by instinct. Your cheeks were already flushed from the wine, not enough to make you lose consciousness but enough to give you a feeling of lightness and confidence.

“Can I confess something?” you suddenly said, your mouth moving faster than your brain.

“Yeah, what is it?”

“When I was a kid…” you began, feeling your heart pounding in your chest. But after a second of silence, it no longer seemed like such a good idea. “You know what? Forget it. It’s absurd.”

“No! Tell me,” he urged, thinking you were about to share some kind of embarrassing secret.

Well, he wasn’t entirely wrong.

“But promise you won’t make fun of me?”

“I won’t,” he insisted, smiling at you sweetly and giving your arm a gentle squeeze, as if encouraging you. “Tell me.”

You inhaled, then exhaled. And before you could second-guess yourself, the words spilled out.

“Well, years ago, when we were friends… I mean, I guess we’re still friends, but… I don’t know, I had this huge crush on you. I thought you were so cute and sweet with your big glasses and protective attitude. You never said no to me,” you sighed, reminiscing. “And it’s funny now, I think. To think that I was in love with you when we were kids.”

Reid just watched you, like he would study a puzzle he didn’t quite understand. He seemed… confused? You hoped he wasn’t mad, of course. And suddenly, you felt foolish for having brought it up, thinking you had completely ruined the atmosphere, making it tense and awkward.

Still, you said nothing. You were embarrassed, but at least your consolation was that Spencer wouldn’t be there the next morning to face the consequences.

“Are you kidding?”

“Why would I joke about that?” you exclaimed, hurt when he finally decided to speak. You weren’t looking at him. “It’s just a childish thing, Spencer. I thought it would be funny, but I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. It’s just something silly, okay? Let’s not make a big deal out of it.”

“Were you really in love with me?” he asked, incredulous at the idea and ignoring what you had just said.

“Yes! But like I said, it was years ago…”

“Oh,” he exhaled, sounding almost disappointed. That’s when you looked at him, and it wasn’t hard for you to read him: he was nervous. “Yeah, I guess that was a long time ago, right? We haven’t seen each other in years and… yeah, you’re right. It’s funny.”

There was something off in his words. He sounded deflated, more like some illusion had been broken rather than being upset by what you had said.

Maybe it was the alcohol clouding your judgment, maybe it was the way his hands were fidgeting in his lap, or perhaps even the sad expression that had appeared on his face, but suddenly everything about him seemed to scream one thing. It was as if he were calling out to you, saying: kiss me.

And, impulsively, you did.

It would have been wise to stop after the first kiss, just to check if he was comfortable with it and that you weren’t overstepping. But you didn’t have the willpower to stop. You needed to kiss Spencer.

You kissed him again, and then again, and it wasn’t until that moment that he seemed to snap out of the shock he was in, returning the kiss passionately. Suddenly, you were both completely swept up at the moment, feeling as if kissing each other was essential to moving forward; like it was something you should have been doing for years, not just right then.

“I’m sorry…” he exhaled suddenly, as his hand moved to your waist to pull you closer. “Is this okay?”

“It is,” you nodded immediately, feeling breathless. One of your hands went up to gently brush his hair back. “Are you okay?”

He shook his head, almost as if delirious. His eyes had closed, and he looked like he was suffering.

“You kissed me,” he murmured, as if he needed to say it out loud to believe it. “I feel like my heart’s going to burst out of my chest.”

Your fear vanished when you heard him say that, and encouraged by his reaction, you leaned in to kiss him again. However, after a few more kisses, he stopped you.

“Will you visit me?”

“Huh?”

“Will you visit me? When I go back to DC?”

His question puzzled you since you didn’t think it was something he’d ask in the middle of all that.

“I guess… yeah. If you want me there, I could visit someday.”

“You’re not just going to kiss me, and then we’ll forget this ever happened?”

“Do you want that?”

“No,” he sighed shakily. His thumb traced your lips gently as he held your face in his hand. “Do you want that?”

“No,” you replied in the same way, kissing him again.

Although you wanted to, you weren’t going to hint at anything more with your friend, and he thought it wasn’t proper to suggest anything either. So, for a while, you simply continued kissing each other, softly and slowly, as if wrapped in a bubble where time didn’t pass.

“The wine was delicious, by the way.”

“It tastes even better on your lips, I’m sure,” you whispered, lovesick. You kissed him again and then spoke against his lips. “I’m glad you came back.”

You felt him smile.

“Me too.”

[icarusredwings]

Thinking about Wade just... being normal(?) For a day. Doing house hold chores, watching shitty live tv, goes out to walk Puppins, showering with no smart remarks.

Yes, he still hums and taps on stuff, but it's much.. calmer.. now. In the sense that he doesn't want to cause a scene and would rather just be left alone right now.

But then... when he gets out. Surely he's going to be his silly self and say something, right?? Right???? Wrong.

He just... sits there. Boredly looking at those free magazines that you find sometimes at doctors' offices. The ones that are like "Home improvment for your loved one with dementia" or "50 dinner ideas for someone with diabetes"

Logan just blinks after watching him all day and goes "...Are you okay?"

Without a beat, he awnsers pretty monotoned. "I can't be manic all the time. That's just stupid to think." Before realizing he said it outloud. He perks up and starts laughing. "I mean- Yeah I'm great! What about you, Tiger?"

Again Logan just stares, blinking some as he tries to process.

"....How long have you kept up that act..?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, pumpkin!" It was like watching someone trying to impersonate themsleves.

"....Wade.."

"What is it cupcake?"

"...You don't have to do that."

"Do what? Gosh your so silly. My silly little sunflower."

Logan just stares at him for a bit more and quickly he panics, swallowing and starting to say anything he can to make him believe it was a joke but he dosn't believe a single word of it.

"...its not an act.. is it?"

It eventually ends with wade running out of excuses or things to lie about. He sits there, tears starting to run down his face as he thinks of words to say. You can see just how desperate he is to say something but he can't seem to get it out.

"..I....I-i."

"I know."

Wade just looks at him with this big scared eyes as if he was about to accuse him of faking or telling him he liked this wade better or something terrible like asking how to keep him this way but Logan pulls him into a side hug.

"...are you okay?"

His throat tightens, shaking his head. "..no."

"That's okay." Turning to give him an actual hug, Wade cries. Not because he's sad though. But because to Logan, it doesn't matter how high or low he was on the chart, who he was or how he acted. He loves him. He understands that acting like a crazy childish phycopath isn't a mask but rather who he was sometimes. And sometimes he prefered to silently lay his head on his shoulder.

Eventually Logan asks him if he has a personality disorder and Wade just shrugs. "Probably.... is that an issue..?"

"No.... do you want diagnosed?"

Wade pauses, remembers the last time he asked for medical help and shakes his head. "Nah... I'm good.. besides. I've come to like him."

"How long has he been in there?" Logan playfully knocks on his head and wade giggles a bit. A genuine true laugh. "I don't know. Probably forever.... are you sure it's not a problem?" He bites his tounge, waiting for the "because I like him better" but it never came.

"Why would that be a problem? Sure, you're a pain the ass but you're my pain in the ass." He says, mindlessly sitting for a second before quickly saying "DON'T-"

As wade is on the brink of explosion from laughter and some smirky comments.

[reality-detective]

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Green Tea

Cinnamon Stick

Cayenne Pepper

Black Pepper

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Orange Juice

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[mehmetyildizmelbourne-blog]

Let's Talk About GLP-1 receptor agonists (GLP1-RAs)

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