#I'm going to start eating healthier as well and drinking more water

[popcorn-plots]

Me: why do I feel so relaxed and good about the world

Also me: got half of my to-do list done today, spent quality time with my mom at the gym, did my first ever weightlifting workout (an accumulation of 2606 pounds with all the reps) and ate something healthy

I'm on FIRE

[prettieinpink]

LITTLE WAYS TO LIVE HEALTHIER IN 2025

INCREASE YOUR N.E.A.T. Neat stands for non exercise activity thermogenesis. So, basically any daily activities we do when not exercising or sleeping. It's important for you to have a high N.E.A.T because it can be the difference between having a sedentary lifestyle or being moderately active. 

Ways to increase NEAT is to do more heavier chores everyday (vacuuming, mopping, dusting), taking the longer routes when walking, stand for 10 minutes each hour, pace back and forth while calling someone, march while you’re brushing your teeth, etc. 

DRINK HERBAL TEAS. Herbal teas can help you in a variety of areas of life, and are a great substitute for other processed beverages. 

ADD SUNLIGHT IN YOUR MORNING. Exposing yourself to sunlight early in the day helps with resetting the circadian rhythm, which in return helps for waking up easier and going to sleep easier. 

EAT WITHOUT DISTRACTIONS. You’ll savour your food so much more and it’ll be easier to tell when you’re satisfied. 

CREATE A PLAYLIST FOR WHEN YOU WIND DOWN. Once you get into the habit of listening to this playlist, it’ll become like a trigger to your body that it’s time to sleep because listening to that playlist  should be followed by settling into bed. 

 REGULARLY GO TO YOUR GP. Especially if you’re feeling a bit out of it. It is always better to make those regular visits and catch something before it becomes out of hand. 

STOP WAKING UP SO EARLY. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but waking up at 5am is unnecessary if not required. While I do believe that waking up earlier does have benefits, that extra hour of sleep probably has more. 

IF YOU’RE STRUGGLING, TAKE IT SLOWER. In this day and age, we don’t have time to process a lot of things. Everything is so fast paced, that if we fall behind, we tend to feel less than. 

Especially if you’re someone who can’t keep pace with the crowd due to disabilities or mental health. Take things at your own pace, and do what you can will yourself to do. 

GET SPIRITUAL. Lots of studies show that people who commit themselves to their beliefs are a lot happier in life than those who don’t. This doesn’t mean that you have to commit to a religion yet, but I would explore your spirituality side and see what  resonates with you. 

WEAR YOUR SPF. Skin cancer is no joke, and our earth is only getting hotter. Protect yourself, including your body! 

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GOOD PEOPLE. People who radiate love and are always looking for the goodness around them, that rubs off on you and in return you’ll develop similar traits. Being with them will stimulate growth in all aspects of your life. 

I'm not telling anyone to ‘fix’ anyone, but it means a lot to other people if you can be that person in their life. It's a very rewarding and fulfilling lifestyle.  

TAKE MAKEUP BREAKS REGULARLY. Give your skin a break from products, and ideally take a week off each month to spend it makeup free. You’re saving time and your skin. 

ADD IN FRUITS, HERBS OR LEMON IN YOUR WATER. This will help with extra hydration and improve digestion. 

PRIORITISE FIBRE. As much as protein is good for you, fibre has just as much importance but it's not as heavily prioritised. Ideally, half of your meal should be fibres. However, that can be a hard change for some people, so start with having it on the side. 

It's great if you can incorporate ‘hidden��� fibre into your meals as well!

CURATE YOUR SPACE TO SUIT YOU. Add in little notes of reminders or quotes, place around photos or awards of your achievements, remove anything that impacts you negatively. You want the area that you’re in 24/7 to support that growth, not stifle it. 

Keep your area clean and decluttered as well. Try to minimise the amount of stuff that you have. You only need one of each thing, two is one too many. Having too much clutter affects the clarity of your mind.

it is numbered oddly because of the way I pasted this from google docs to tumblr. apologies!

[memoriesndew]

fall is here. It's time to lock in. weight loss edition. final update.

Out of all my posts on here, this has gotten the most attention, and I can tell it's probably because it touched on a really sensitive and very popular topic: weight loss. Unfortunately or fortunately, I didn't complete the challenge, mainly because I didn't have a strong enough mentality to complete the challenge. I also fell sick mentally and physically, and well, most of the habits were kind of unattainable, especially in my environment.

Well, here is everything I learnt from this challenge and how I'll be applying these lessons to my daily life.

calorie counting x eating 1200 cals every day

First off, I'd like to say calorie counting works short-term, not long-term, as after a while I started hyper-fixating on food, and that just led me to eat more because I was too hungry and led me to be ok with eating too much unhealthy food just because there were fewer calories, so I learned volume eating, eating intuitively, and eating at the right time. I'm going to start eating at the right time to not spike my glucose levels and to also choose the healthier option when I can. I understand it is ok to have a snack when I feel like it.

overexercising x movement cycle /3

I found that it was hard to keep up with stretching, working out, and working. Also, from now on, I'll at least try to do 2 out of the 3; maybe 1 day I'll work out and stretch another walk and workout, After some reflection, I want my movement to be versatile and different Maybe I'll try some sports and the likes.

generally

TBH, this challenge was a good experience, and I learnt a lot. Now I realize how much I want more of a wellness lifestyle and to feel good in my body, not just to lose weight; I also want to enjoy the journey and my life all in all. and the drinking water thing, I still don't know the benefits It's just a lot of pee, but I'll continue to do that. I actually like drinking the water.

PS The weight scale broke during this challenge, and I don't know my weight at the moment, but it actually helped, and I'm not obsessed with my weight as much. So yh tis all love you all.

[skinscals]

I've struggled with binging my whole life. Now I've managed to lose almost 21lbs and more is coming off. I'd like to share some things I've used when I'm feeling like binging!

1. I WANT TO BINGE

It causes me legit anxiety when I get the urge to eat. Sometimes it's something specific, sometimes it can be moldy bread I have already. But if you feel like you want the food RN, think that you can always go and get it. Just, wait 10 minutes, if you really need it, it's okay, you can always go out and buy it. The food ain't gonna disappear anywhere. This mindset brings me kind of peace.

If you're feeling hungry but you've just eaten, drink water. Also remember to take your vitamins and supplements. If you have huge deficiency on those things your body may start sending hunger cues. If you lack vitamins, your body craves sugar etc.

2. I ALREADY STARTED BINGING

And you can stop it! You've already had a taste, right? You want to keep binging because you know how awesome it tastes. Brush your teeth and get the flavors out of your mouth! It helps! I use this all the time! I already started on my chocolate cake, I brush the taste off! It's the taste that keeps us wanting more!

3. I BINGED...

It feels like it's the end of the world... You hate yourself, so you decide that now on you start restricting even more, right? Please dont. Hold yourself accountable but do not punish yourself. If you binge, you probably have some mental issues you cope with food. Thinking about your binge too much creates panic and stress and self hatred, which causes you to binge again. Don't put any more mental load on yourself.

WHAT CAN I DO TO PREVENT THIS FROM HAPPENING?!

Take it from someone, who has struggled with this their whole life!

- Don't restrict too much. The cycle between binging and restricting will never end...

- When you eat, instead of focusing on how low cal it is, focus on will it make you full? If you eat 200 low cal stuff, and it won't make you full, you'll binge another 1000kcal in one sitting. Instead, focus on protein and nutrients and, Will this make me full? If it doesn't, they're stupid empty calories you ate for, uhm, for fun. If it does, you ate something to survive and keep your engine running. Be clever!

- If you use food as a coping mechanism or as a reward or anything, I feel you. This one's tricky, because coping mechanisms are important and you can't really take them away once they're learned. It's hard, and we may replace them with something more harmful and dangerous. Try things. Personally I find going on walks very effective. I listen Ed stuff or my favorite songs. If I feel very shitty, I may run until I can't breathe. And every time I feel better when I come home. I still use food sometimes, but now I have another option as well. Please, try things!

- if you crave something very specific let's say, chocolate, instead of forbidding it from yourself, buy a little bar of chocolate. Maybe even every day (count it's calories tho!) If you forbid something from yourself, you'll want it even more. And, guess what, binge on it. Which is better, one 200kcal bar of chocolate or 1200kcal chocolate bar? Between the two bad choices, pick the one that's less bad.

- Find replacement foods. If you crave chocolate for example, find something similar but healthier. I use protein bars. They're filling and chocolate! I won't be craving more after 1 or 2 and it's still better than eating the whole 1200kcal bar!

- Learn to love yourself now. Or even like. If that's too hard, please have even some respect for yourself. It's been studied that If you get negative encouragement, you'll probably fail but if you get positive encouragement you'll more likely succeed in what you're doing!

- Write your feelings and goals down somewhere and come back to them when you feel like binging!

- Remember that you're not perfect. If you have binging problem, you will binge in the future. But as you learn on the way, you'll binge less and less and one day you'll notice, that the last time you relapsed was 6 months ago. It's a journey as well. Learn from it.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask anything! I hope these would help even one person. You got this.

Stay safe, love life and focus on your goals! 💕 You're amazing and you deserve to live happily!

[bimbosanddolls]

Hey Kiki! I'm looking to become more of a doll as well. Can you share some eating habits you've changed?

Sure. Though let me start off by saying I'm not a nutritionist or dietitian... so take my words with a grain of salt.

I honestly haven't made any like, super drastic changes. And I've only cut two things out of my diet completely. I love my surgary cereals, but I've replaced them with healthier, multi-grain options. I've also stopped drinking sugary pop/soda, choosing water or sugar-free options instead.

Other than that, I'm just a lot more aware of things like sugar intake and trans fats, and I make more of an effort to get fruits and veggies into my diet. At the very least, I usually have a green smoothie for lunch.

I do also allow myself two days a week where I can have a treat. Because sometimes a girlie just needs a little treat.

I also try, as much as my disability allows, to keep active.

All in all, things are working really well! I've lost almost 20 pounds in about 6 months since I really started to focus on this. Still have a way to go to get down to my goal weight, but progress is progress!

Kiki's Note: I think its important to note that I am not advocating for like "thin is in" or anything like that. My body dysmorphia materialized as a young age and I always hated the person I saw in the mirror. As such, I didn't always treat my body the best because it didn't feel like it was "mine" anyway. Now that I'm transitioning, I simply want to get myself back to a "healthy" weight so I can feel good about the girl I see in the mirror. I don't know if I'll ever be "skinny" but know I'm gonna be hot af so that's all that matters.

[trulynamelessworld]

For the few fanfic readers that follow me on here, I currently have 7000 words of a fic set in 1990's Canada centered around Armand post QoTD cannon Devils Minion.

He makes friends with a prostitute on Vancouver's downtown eastside and instead of eating her, decides to help her. (Hm wonder why? Definitely not because she reminds him of Daniel)

Preview under the cut!

The girl looks pale under the lights of the restaurant, her veins blue-green spider webs under her sallow skin. Though he could see her just fine in the shadowed places between street lights, it is even more clear now that she is of middle-eastern descent. The slope of her nose mirrors his own, and her eyes are startlingly similar to Arun's in color. Her hair is long and appears healthier than the rest of her mortal body underneath the layer of hairspray she has trapped it in.

He observes her hands when she takes a compact out, wiping her lipstick off with a napkin from the dispenser. She wrinkles her nose at the sensation, but carries on. Despite the rest of her being sculpted to exude sensuality and beauty, her nails are short and brittle judging by their ragged edges. Barely noticeable to a human, but speaking volumes about her nutrition to himself.

"Drink. I can tell you're dehydrated."

She snaps the compact shut and gives him a long look before downing her glass of water in one go. He sprinkles a bit of salt in his own glass and pushes it towards her. "Pace yourself."

"I'm not pacing anything until you tell me why you just salted my water."

"Electrolytes. It will hydrate you more efficiently."

"If you say so." She says, casting a dubious look at the glass before staring back at him, the wheels turning so transparently in her mind that he would not need to read her to know what she was thinking.

"What do you do for work, outside of this?" He interrupts her whirlwind of speculation, lest her curiousity get the better of her.

"I'm a hostess at one of those fancy places uptown. The pays shit but it lets me take the train back here every night."

Upon closer inspection, he can see the dark circles covered expertly by her foundation. "When do you sleep?" He asks curiously.

"Well the restaurant doesn't open 'till ten so I'm usually out 'till four, sleep 'till eight, get ready, go to work, come back here at ten, and walk 'till four again."

Four hours of rest is much too little for a mortal as busy as her. "How old are you?"

She snorts. "You want my real age or my pretend one?"

"Real."

"Twenty three."

"You should be sleeping more."

She laughs dryly. "I agree, but I gotta work. I don't have a roof over my head as is."

***

There will be an epilogue where she reunites with Armand in 2022, and meets fledgling Daniel as a fifty something year old woman who is still just as iconic.

The last couple chapters are a bit of a slog for me, but the end product should be about 10 000 words, rated explicit both for subject matter and a sex scene between her and Armand near the end (their relationship doesn't start or end sexual, or even romantic, its more something they both do as a reclamation of their bodies. It's very sweet and also HOT).

This fic ended up kind of being a love letter to Armand, 90's fast food prices, and to the downtown eastside all in one. I'm 20 so there's a lot I had to google since I didn't grow up in the 90's but I'm very proud of it regardless.

[notesfromthepalace]

Fit and Fine

I am officially 16lbs down Sissy Poohs:

What I have realized is the white girls have been on to something.

You know when you watch early 2000 sitcoms, you know, before the whole body positivity thing and inclusivity thing, when all of the white girls were counting calories. I thought that was crazy but that is what has skyrocketed my weight loss.

Essentially, with the first 7-9lbs lost, I had changed up my diet and started working out again. I was doing well and started seeing progress and then - boom, plateau.

I downloaded the "Lose-It" app that helped me set up a plan based on how fast I want to reach my goal of 165lbs. Essentially, based on how much I workout, with 10k steps a day and eating between 1400-1600 calories, I should reach my goal by October 9th, next month; I'm excited.

I think its definitely feasible since I'm 5lbs away from my goal with about a month left.

Losing weight, eating all three meals a day with a snack feels so much better. The first time I lost weight, I was just starving myself, so I felt like I looked slim, but I my face was drooping and I looked plushy/soft.

Versus now, I look more toned, my face looks chiseled, and honestly, I am fine as hell.

I meal prep 3 boiled eggs (just the egg white chilllllle, I don't want high cholesterol), for lunch, I eat a full fruit jar, abut 14oz, then a small dinner consisting of some type of protein (usually chicken), and either a boiled sweet potato (about 88 calories), a small spinach salad with one tablespoon of Cesar dressing and a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese (about 114 calories) or 1/3 cup of white rice (42 calories). On the weekends I don't workout but I still take Coco for her two mile walk and I am usually still able to obtain about 10k steps a day.

I also indulge in scrambled eggs (one full egg and two egg whites) with cheese, garlic salt, onion and black pepper with bacon. But that meal is so filling what it usually keeps me full for the most part. I also still drink coffee with French vanilla creamer every morning - but no added sugar because the cream alone makes the coffee 420 calories.

That's another thing this app and my journey have taught me - looking at serving sizes and actually calculating the amount of calories are in a meal and how much I am actually eating.

If I am being completely honest, seeing the numbers made me feel like a freaking vacuum.

The above gif is a reference to the rapper Ice Spice calling Cleotrapa (another rapper) a vacuum for eating everything brought to their table at an Italian restaurant.

The first day I used the app I had inputed my breakfast and measured everything: Within an hour I had consumed almost 800 calories, talk about a fat-ass right!!

I love using the app. I also love the fact that I was able to link my Apple Watch so I can accurately get a count of my steps, calories burned in my workouts, how long I stand for, etc.

Make sure you do what works for you. I am one of those people that cute outfits, the color pink, and seeing visual representations of my efforts, are what propels me to go harder and further. I literally only bought my Apple Watch for fitness purposes and made sure the band was pink. I have arm weights that are 1lb I wear around the house while doing chores, the leg warmers to add some spunk to my workout outfits, pink 32oz water bottle, my meal prep jars are pink, did I mention I did pink French tip this week? I think I have made my point.

Lastly, as long as you are reaching your goal in a healthy way, don't allow people to tell you:

"you're fine"

"you look great"

"you need to eat more"

"oh so you wanna be skinny"

"I can't hang around you"

Or whatever the hell else they say. Most people say these things from a place of insecurity because they don't have the determination or disciple to achieve goals that they would love to have - but can't do - and would rather make excuses. If being slimmer and healthier is what makes you happy, do it! Don't listen to the naysayers. They just want you to be miserable like them (jk, but I'm serious).

In all, I am proud of myself this time around where I am learning to create a sustainable healthy lifestyle. It also helps that my boyfriend is literally a gym rate who consumes protein like we breathe air, insane, but helpful.

If you have questions or want to start, please feel free to leave comments, ask questions, dm - or just do your own thing.

I hope this inspired you.

Remember, there's only three month left in the year, meaning nine months until the Summer of 2025. You have more than enough time to get in shape and be a beach babe.

As always,

With love,

Sarah Chanel

P.S.

Once in a blue, I eat a snickers bar

[happi-meals]

Breakfast this morning (left) Dinner last night!

Breakfast

Fried egg and Daiya vegan cheese sanwhich on wheat bread (pan toasted w olive oil)

2 clemintines

Leftover Hardy's biscuit

Dinner

1 Impossble Sausage (vegan), pieced up and pan-fried in olive oil

1 cup of white rice

3 yellow squash, sliced and steamed (seasoned with pepper, Lawry's season salt, and olive oil).

I almost made myself two sandwhiches this morning, one with egg, and one without. But i figured that would be too much for breakfast since I wasnt terribly hungy and planned to nap afterward (I didnt rip). But the biscuit that i got on a visit to my grandma's over the weekend definitely gave my breakfast more volume that made me feel fuller. That couples with plently of water to drink. The clemintimes added a nice sweet element to my breakfast and also some fruit portion that was enough for that time of day.

As for dinner last night, swell as usual with those ingredients! Cant go too wrong with yellow squash (though it is easy to over or under salt them lol. Didnt this time tho), and white rice truly goes with everything.

I made the Impossible brat last over a week! They only come 4 a pack, which is a bit pricey for how much they are (when not on sale, theyre almost $10). But tbh, its one of those things that you pay for to get the quality AND healthier, more sustainable alternative out of. Its def a treat and I figured I can make it last by piecing it apart as well as spacing out days when I plan to cook it (for instance, I decide one day I'll eat vegan, but trhe other I'll be only pescatarian and the next vegetarian). At that price I can still feel like its worth it, and the oast few times I went to the store they were on sale. So I'm def keeping lookout for those opportunities bc I love this stuff! Great umami taste and crispy sausage texture (its cute how it starts out red to resemble raw meat, but for me thats not necessary. A substitute doesnt have to evoke its original in any way except mainly flavor. I digress lol).

I enjoy cooking a lot now and will soon experiment with meal prep for days in advance, preferably up to 2 (then eventually the whole week, or at least a week of options, frozen to have ready for later). If anyone has some good meal prep regiment ideas (esp for neurodivergent folks), id appreciate u dropping them off in this post!

[jakesangel]

how to know if you are full when you’re eating? i still dont know how to know it

hai anon bby <3

i used to struggle w it, specially when i started to watch healthier. i used to eat lot of inflammatory food that would always makes me feel full so when i started to eat more healthy it was hard ᵎ what helped me was to drink water before n after my meal n to wait for around 20 minutes after my meal to check if i'm still hungry. if i'm not then i can just go in my day, if i am then i have a snack. also i try to not listen to my body munch ㅎㅎ like if i planned to have my usual meal w my usual dessert then that's all i have. i'll wait til next time n will jsut drink tea or coffee. but that cal also tell you that u aren't eating enough or doesn't have enough calories. so i either have more carbs in my meal or just have a bigger portion the next time. here some tips :

eating slowly ᵎᵎ your brian doenst wokr as fast as your stomach, so even if finished eating your brain will tell you more tho u're full. this will prevent such happening ᵎᵎ

start w protein n finish w carbs, protein makes u full for a longer period of time but it doesn't start right away whereas carbs are more like 'in the moment energizer'

slowly decrease your portion size/ calories as to not face a too hard challenge right away ᵎ this is only make you binge even if u can last a day or too or even a week, u will end up binging.

eat something you enjoy ᵎᵎ it's actually proven scientifically but basically if you don't eat something you enjoy, u're gonna be disappointed n will be moslt likely try to find something else to eat, but as u just eaten it will lead to the feeling of over fullness

some people use mindful eating. it doesn't work for me but you should look it up n try ᵎ

thunder training ᵎ that was worked for me but i feel like i didnt explained myself well. basically it's to eat at the same time everyday the same meal the same amount. this will train ur stomach n ur brain to be used of that you want to eat. it will also help you w craving as ur brain will slowly only want that n not bad stuff u want to get rid off ᵎ

[shippergirl121fic]

Weekly Tag Wednesday

Thank you for tagging me @energievie

Name: Sandra

Age: 28

What kind of day is it? It's pretty normal

When was the last time you ate? I eat an hour ago.

About how many hours of sleep did you get? 8 hours, but I have problems sleeping through the night when I have early shift and I need to get up at 5 am.

Name one thing you could do to make your day better right now: My day was as good as it is

Why are you not doing that thing? Nothing to do

What are you going to do tonight to relax? Read fanfic and hopefully write some as well

What comfort food do you not eat often enough? I not really have a comfort food, maybe sweets.

What’s stopping you? I'm trying to eat a little healthier right now.

Have you ever had a professional massage? Nope

Have you eaten fruits and vegetables today? Yup, I have eaten blueberries with quark for breakfast.

How much water have you had today? It's evening, so I have drinking 2 liters of water.

Is there a self-care gadget you really want to buy? Not really

What is your favourite healthy snack? Eggs

What is your favourite unhealthy snack? Chips

What is one thing you are going to start doing RIGHT NOW to take better care of yourself? be a little more active

And to close, I want you to say one NICE thing to yourself that you really need to hear right now: Don't let other people bring you down.

@callivich @whatwouldmickeydo @too-schoolforcool @tsuga-of-mars @look-i-love-u @jrooc

[1stlovemegently]

Wonderful meal to Start your Morning.

While my fiance and I take time to find ourselves in separation. He has encouraged me to eat more of a Raw Vegan. Coming from a Man who I would call Omnivore and me Vegan at home and when I eat out Vegetarian at best.

He enjoyed this meal when I saw him the other week when we met up, he said the sauces tasted like a sauce from Arby's (it had been watered down in a meal prep kit more on this below on how to store this meal)

I was actually surprised at how full I was. I haven't eaten meat in 14 years but that doesn't mean I've eaten the healthiest but I get healthier each year and learn more about health (along with my fiancé, who encouraged me to bring any dairy products home as I've been Vegan many times) not only was I full I loved the taste of it. I'm a huge fan of tomatoes.

Even though my Sid Vicious and I are separated he's made a point to tell me not to eat anything with White Bread, Wheat, Rice and what can I say but he is right I bought Dave's Killer Bread my favorite bread but I did feel more tired the rest of the week

More onto this Recipe

I used 1 or 2 Zucchinis and spiralled them. Then pinched them so it is easier to eat.

The sauce is

Handful of cherry tomatoes

A few spoon fulls of Sun Dried Tomatoes

Add in some fresh herbs like Basil, Cilontro, Spinach

No cooking just blend it all right up. Also if you want it more creamy you can add Tofu if someone does not have a Soy Allergy or Soaked or Unsoaked Cashews&Pine Nuts blended with Tomatos into a creamy paste add more tomatoes as they have natural amount of Water in them that includes nutritions. Or even better if you own a juicer to juice tomatoes and use the Juice to blend with the Cashews and Pine Nuts first. Then add Cherry Tomatoes, Sun Dried and herbs adding Spinach will add extra Protein to this meal there is Calcium in Spinach as well in the Cashews and Pine Nuts the Tomatos are loaded with Vitamin C, if not more than a Orange

Notes

Taking this meal on the go.

Do not pour the sauce on top or in the zucchini noodles store in a separate container and drain water from Zucchini noodles.

You can also use Cucumbers and April them or a mix of the both.

Adding in more vegetables like Red Peppers to the sauce or small amounts of carrots to not over power

Soak Walnuts overnight to as a crumble.

If you're new to Raw Veganism, or Veganism, Vegetarianism, looking to Add more Fresh Vegetables, Nuts, Seeds, Fruits into your diet I hope this has reached you. This is a easy recipe that can be done early in the morning I would suggest Unless you feel sick as in you need to drink water or eat something to drink Juice in the morning.

If you have a Blender blend vegetables and then strain the pulp/fiber. Drinking Vegetables Juice, Ginger Shots, and small amounts of Fruit Juice first thing you start your Day, Afternoon, Night whichever you get your little or a lot of sleep will help with the Nutrition going straight into your blood stream and system. This is also why we want to avoid too much fruit as the sugar goes straight to your blood stream as well.

[dyed-red]

I had a wonderful ask for you, and then I got distracted and forgot it, so I'm going with this one instead. Do you have any thoughts on disordered eating for both the boys? It is definitely shown that Sam has food issues ("Sammy is a chubby 12 year old" and "Organic") and does the whole stress-forgetting-to-eat thing. Food also plays into his body autonomy issues. I think Dean also has issues around food/eating. His just aren't shown as obviously as Sam's, but also are a manifest of his issues.

thank you for sending the ask :) feel free to send the other one if you ever remember it!

under a cut

Sam

i think sam's disordered eating is pretty textual, like you said, and i explored some of my headcanons for it in like a ghost with two voices, but that fic is... A Lot, and it's probably neater to explain them in one place. in brief though, some thoughts.

he grew up eating anything and everything and was not picky, and we know he liked monstrosities like marshmallow nachos

like many kids he put on weight before growth spurts which is where that chubby 12 year old line comes from (mostly him being acerbic about the nickname sammy, tbh) but for the most part he was always pretty lean

he learned about nutrition and the food pyramind in school and sought out more vegetables as a preteen and teen

he felt really self-conscious / embarrassed as a kid at another family's house for dinner when he asked what asparagus (or some other vegetable that wasn't broccoli or carrots) was and they were like ???? it's asparagus??? have you never seen asparagus?? and since then tried to eat a wider variety of foods so as never to embarrass himself over food again like that

he didn't actually have an Issue or a pickiness for food though until after being possessed by meg, after which he found himself feeling more easily put off by meals (like the one not that long later in Folsom Prison Blues)

he started to develop Actual Issues after ahbl when azazel showed him he put demon blood in him as a baby, but didn't directly identify that the unclean feeling was the source of his food issues until much much later in life

he rationalizes his turn toward healthier foods in the year that follows on being a byproduct of needing to stay healthy and strong for the job (he's already died once! not to mention what happened to Dean in Faith. it's important to care about their heart health!) and to keep himself focused and sharp if he's going to save dean

drinking demon blood does Not help his issues, neither does the way it changes him nor the detox/purge of that. what he puts and doesn't put in his body takes on explicit purity leanings around/after this point directly as a result

these issues don't have a chance to go anywhere really as the apocalypse is looming except for him to be eating salads and exercising and then he's soulless for a year and a half, and soulless doesn't really question his own desire(?) to exercise and eat well. he likes keeping his body in peak condition and likes the rewards he gets for doing so

obviously cage trauma fucks with sam's eating and this is where he starts to spurn meat more often because of the smell and texture and how it turns his stomach

these issues persist even after cas takes the cage trauma down to a notch where sam can compartmentalize it, and it would be here that he sort of has space to maybe start acknowledging that he is Different about food but the leviathan really are offering the perfect excuse for him to go all in on clean living and he's able to rationalize and justify his food issues to kingdom come, and he's good with that

amelia and whatever the hell is going on there (fuzzy fake memories) is more of the same

the trials are purifying him, don't you know? real talk, sam probably drinks holy water each day during this period and hides that from dean. he's got to keep his strength up but also he's coughing up blood and starts to look seriously anemic but everything is fine he's fine these trials are purifying him it's fine. he's probably not eating much except when dean makes him. he doesn't see this as an issue except that he needs to keep his strength up for the trials. part of him might prefer it this way. he doesn't want to examine that.

gadreel does not help.

sam started to eat a bit more during that period and felt good and things felt good and then he started losing time and the anxiety killed his appetite and he just had to push himself harder but what if this is just who he is now and he really really needs to look after his health if he's only this old and already has memory issues and he needs to eat healthy and -

gadreel and crowley together Does Not Help.

neither does antonia bevell.

although tbh by that point his food issues are pretty much fixed, not really in flux. they're issues, he knows they're issues, he eats healthy and he's got some idea where this shit comes from and he's got it mostly under wraps, even if it sneaks up on him sometimes and is something he has to work with. dean doesn't always get it and sometimes is insensitive af about it (the bacon incident) but for the most part lets it be so long as sam doesn't lose too much weight.

and so on.

Dean

dean's food issues are somewhat opposite to sam's, and i'll admit i have a lot less to say about them.

like sam, he did not grow up a picky eater. he was probably more conscious/aware of their food insecurity and at points was in charge of feeding sam, so took more responsibility to ensure food wasn't wasted

in part for that reason, he hates food waste as an adult, and will eat food even as it's edging toward probably not safe anymore (we see this in a few episodes actually) and won't turn his nose up at anything, and will finish food that sam doesn't eat almost out of habit

dean's had food poisoning a number of times, but that also means he's developed an iron stomach over time and now he can eat sort of anything and if it's not straight up moudly, he'll probably get no more than a stomach ache for a few hours or feel queasy and gassy the next day

dean also loves free food for the aforementioned reasons. it does not head off his tendency to get food poisoning, but again, that mitigates over time

dean prefers calorically dense food like proteins and carbs because it's less expensive and keeps him going longer. he doesn't hate vegetables but his somewhat arrested development in his teen and early adult years means he never really developed from child tastebud preferences to a more adult palette, at least not until much later, although he had no issue acquiring the taste for beer and whiskey. he seems to prefer sweet and despise bitter though, and i think it's a learned preference more than anything

learned preference by way of that same food insecurity in childhood and his body picking out the calorie rich foods and that never really going away? but protein matters a lot too -- notice that he likes peanut m&ms more than the regular ones, and likes jerky and slim jims and that sort of thing.

to bring this back to disordered eating, it's not really a problem except that he struggles to eat and enjoy healthier foods because he can't really acquire a taste for them and he struggles to pass up food when it's available, even though he can and does go without food on hunts and stretches when the situation calls for it

idk we could make some painful and vile headcanons here about dean in hell, much like with sam in the cage, but if alastair cut off piece of dean and fed them to him, it doesn't seem to have dampened dean's zest for meat or food, so might not have been an especially effective torture on dean

mostly -- dean's got issues, some of them are related to food, but mostly his issues manifest outside of the eating sphere. eating is pleasurable to him (sweet, tasty, beer and pie, hedonism, etc) but also important (protein, energy, strength, etc) and wires can get crossed there sometimes and he can and does give himself a stomach ache at big meals and food poisoning on occasion from not letting things go to waste, but he mostly manages this aspect of his life pretty well, especially considering his experiences

[alexandraswords]

43 Days Sober

Being sober is like walking around with a scarlet letter pinned to your chest around people who know you're not drinking anymore sometimes. People will say things like "That's awesome!" at first and "I'm so proud of you!", at first. But then you start to find that your sobriety is offensive or some sort of intrusion on their lifestyle. They get mad if you don't want to go to a bar with them that doesn't serve food, or if you just don't want to go to a bar in general. You find that people won't invite you to parties or on trips anymore because they only want "friends" around that they can drink with. So what they actual fuck do you do with that?

Well I can't speak for everyone. The only people i considered friends were more so acquaintances i had gathered from going to bars and befriending them there from being a regular or a worker in the restaurant industry. We could drink with the best of them and were in a fucked up way treated like VIP and highly respected.

So there's family, but then a lot of the times it just feels awkward, like there's a big pink addict elephant in the room which is always fun.

And then there's you. There's me. My choice. More time to do what I want with who I want. Discerning loneliness from just wanting to be alone. It is kind of depressing though for a moment reminiscing on old party memories and ventures, but I'm more often instantly reminded of how great things have been going since I haven't been fucked up every single day for the past 43 days.

I can go shopping, I can go to the movies, I can hang out with a good friend, I can do the laundry, shower, make my bed, and eat properly, without constantly having to carry a bottle or a water bottle filled with whiskey or vodka with me. Yes, I was so bad I couldn't even shower without taking the bottle with me because I took a chug about every 3 minutes... until the time I brought it in the shower with me and fell over and went down the drain and I had a complete melt down because it was only 10 AM and I didn't get paid til the next day to go buy another. So the solution; no more showers. It's not like I was going anywhere anyway so who did I have to impress?

Anyway, having friends is nice, but have a happy life where I'm at peace and not in a manic prison cell of insanity built from my own making, that just also happens to be sober, is way better than going to a place where I probably wont even remember what happened anyway if I was drinking. Relaxing is actually nice.

43 days sober, but its because I want a happy healthier life. Not because I can't control my drinking, or am forced by the court. It's because im choosing not to drink, instead of think I can't drink or I'm not allowed to. I have the power. And you do too.

[astridthevalkyrie]

trauma dump so my dad and i work in the same company right. he sits about twenty feet away from me (yeah it's fantastic i don't wanna jump out the window somtimes at all) but anyways today he comes over to my desk and in english and loud enough that my colleagues could hear he's like "your shower is clogged you need to fix it!" and a. my sisters and i have been telling him this for weeks so the fact that he is acting like he didn't know shows how little he actually listens to us and b. he only knows now bc since her bathroom is being painted my mother took a shower in ours and inconveniences only matter when it's inconveniences for them and c. he could have said this QUIETLY or in URDU and it would be fine but no apparently asking for respect in the workspace is too much to ask for so i told him "can you be a little less condescending about it?" and he got even more peeved and said he wasn't being condescending and was just telling me to clean out the clog (something i didn't even realize i could do like i didn't know i could lift the thing in the shower bc it looks screwed on and he's never told me this before) so i was like "okay whatever" and he walked away and i KNOW at least one of my colleagues overheard bc he joked something like "that sounded serious" so um. and yesterday my mom randomly got pissed at my sister and told me to stop teaching her to blame everything on my mother and i didn't wanna fight so i just said kay and tried to keep the mood positive with my mother because who am i if i'm not playing emotional support eldest daughter all the time and my dad heard the sound of conflict and went into the basement like the bystander and enabler he is!! anyways i have started another keigo fic that will most likely flop as well but idc because i'm having fun writing for him but i'm not having fun at home and i still lack the energy to find a therapist especially bc i know i'd have to pay for it out of pocket and i'd hear it from my parents (SEPARATELY ffs) that they don't think i need therapy but my sister has had trichotillomania for years and they're only now kinda seriously registering her into therapy after being told my several different doctors to do that because she has a fucking ANXIOUS TICK and they just don't see the correlation they don't see why she would have that and my mom keeps calling her crazy as though the woman doesn't have a barrage of mental health issues that she just refuses to address she has a therapist that she chooses not to talk to she takes depression pills she has meltdowns but it's oooover the second anyone else feels an emotion and now (and always) i'm being told that i'm teaching my sister to hate her and disobey her like BABE!!!! you are UNLIKEABLE and there is a reason no one in the house wants to spend time with you!!!! i'm already in this one stupid class that my parents pushed me into that i don't wanna get into but it's so annoying bc it takes up at least two hours aside from my 7:30 to 5 pm shift which if i go into office means i have to catch a 6 am train and be back at like 6:30 pm so i always push myself to stay up as late as i can to get some alone time where i can relax and then i wake up miserable and i push goals for myself to eat healthier and exercise bc i've gained weight even though everyone says i look like i don't eat (i don't) my mom will just randomly make a comment like "i can see your stomach poking out" or some SHIT like that and she's constantly trying to get me to drink her goddamn disgusting homemade mint water that will make my skin clearer and brighter but i like my brown skin and i'm not SELF HATING like some people! and she keeps bugging me to text the lady from this matchmaking service she enrolled me into but i do not WANT to because none of those men will like me because i god forbid put in my bio that i have ideals that i will not budge from and that i am a feminist and i need someone who will respect that i'm allowed to have as much freedom as them and desi men can't stomach that shit so. and my grandma uncle and his two kids are visiting this

(hit the character block limit) weekend and i have to make it into a fun game for my sister to always be around him and interact with everyone bc if me or her try to refill our social batteries in our rooms or interact with EACH OTHER instead of everyone else my mother will think it's the equivalent of stripping naked in front of everyone despite how she embarrasses us every fucking CHANCE she gets especially around her family and my grandma is back to living with us for at least a few months after this which means she'll sleep in my bed which means she'll use my pillows and take up half the bed and every time this happens my CHRONIC BACK PAIN FORGOT ABOUT THAT acts up more than usual so i'm considering sleeping downstairs but i tend to get anxious when i do that i'm just hoping it doesn't happen this time bc i'd rather be depressed as shit instead of anxious and anxiety scares me so bad i get into my own head so easily and i hate taking meds apparently i need vitamin d pills for the rest of my life and taking them makes me feel sick and i don't drink water no matter how hard i try bc the more i drink the more sick i feel and sometimes i go days without drinking water and sometimes i don't eat and sometimes i'm starving but after a single bite i'm full and somehow i'm still gaining weight and i can't expect anyone to care about this constantly because i'm no one's goddamn concern or burden anyways today i'm feeling really introspective and i want to sit with my feelings for a bit but i can't because once i get home (in the train right now) i have to have a one on one meeting with my course instructor and i miss acting but at the same time every time i think of it i think of that horrible incident a few months ago where i agreed to be in the ensemble of wizard of oz and the experience was so bad and the people were so awful and i was the only woc there and they treated me like dirt under their shoe and every time we had a show to put on i felt ill from how miserable i was and now i'm scared all my acting experiences will all be like this and i'm so tired i want to be held and comforted and i want someone to allow me to cry without telling me to cheer up and i want to stop being so nervous every time i meet someone new and i want my skin to be clearer and i want to be healthier and i want my mother to stop abusing me and i want to just sleep in for a whole day and have no one bother me and i want to answer all these asks in my inbox because some are more than a year old and i feel so bad and i go back to school in the fall and i'll be working full time and i can't even say well i guess i had a good break year because i didn't i was working the whole time and i'm almost always around one parent and i want to write without my wrists feeling pain and i want everyone to leave me alone.

[lionheartslowstart]

Gastric Sleeve

About three weeks ago I had most of my stomach removed, otherwise known as gastric sleeve surgery.

I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I've gained and lost many times over, and my Hashimoto's diagnosis at 19 did not help this at all. I have gotten liposuction a number of times, but no matter what, I always gained the weight back. I finally got to a point where I wasn't gaining anymore weight, but I wasn't losing any either. My endocrinologist suggested we test for diabetes, and we found a strange result. I do have very high insulin, BUT, my blood sugar is on the extremely low end of normal. Ergo, no diabetes. Instead, I was diagnosed with insulin resistance disorder. In laymen's terms, when you have high insulin, it's almost impossible to lose weight. Problem is, you can't lower your insulin if you don't lose weight...See the problem?

Since I do not have diabetes, my insurance would not cover Ozempic or Wegovy or any of those types of medications. My endocrinologist informed me that, unfortunately, the next step would be bariatric surgery. No in-between. In the meantime she prescribed me a medication to lower my insulin, but she strongly advised me to talk with my primary care physician about the pros and cons bariatric surgery.

So after doing some of my own research, I made an appointment with my PCP, and he immediately jumped on the bandwagon. He told me he thought it was a great idea given my history (I've literally been seeing this doctor since I was 18). We settled on the gastric sleeve, and got the ball rolling immediately.

Preparing for the surgery was quite an intensive process. I will try to keep it brief. Obviously, I had to meet with the surgeon and his assistant. I also had to get bloodwork done, as well as pulmonary function testing. On the mental health side, I needed a note from my therapist with an assurance that I was mentally healthy enough for the procedure. But most importantly, I was required to see the hospital dietician for 6 months. While I did go into this process assuming I would be able to just walk in and walk out with a brand new stomach, I was actually pleased and relieved to find out this was mandatory. After all, this is a one time surgery. You can't get the gastric sleeve twice!

My dietician helped me find great substitutions for foods I liked, and encouraged me try new foods. She helped me game plan ways to curb unhealthy habits, as well as start newer, healthier ones. Plus, she's an absolutely fabulous person and I adore her. I was able to lose 10 lbs on my own in the first three months. Unfortunately, I did more or less plateau after that, re-gaining and re-losing that weight over the remaining months. Discouraging to be sure, but at least it further proved the surgery was necessary.

Finally, surgery time. And that was three weeks ago.

The first two weeks were ROUGH. I was only permitted to consume liquids. Yes, you read that correctly. For TWO WEEKS I subsisted solely on Smart Water, Powerade Zero, various types of broth, sugar free jello, and sugar free popsicles. That was it. That was my life for two weeks. It was utter agony. On the upside, I lost 22 pounds just in those first two weeks alone! That's 11 pounds each week. A little more than a pound and a half a day. Crazy.

Now I'm on Phase 2, otherwise known as the "Puree Phase." I was foolishly optimistic, but I won't lie, this phase sucks too. Only eating mush isn't much better than only drinking. My team told me it's because the body associates eating with chewing, and that I'll feel more like a person during Phase 3, the "Soft Food Phase." But in the meantime, I'm living off of low fat cottage cheese, lol fat ricotta cheese, low fat Greek yogurt, hummus, pureed beans, and baby food. Yeah, baby food. It's as gross as you think it is. I was told that I can add pureed chicken or turkey, but I haven't gotten around to that yet. It's been rough. But I am excited to discover that I like hummus now! My dietician and the head of nursing (who is basically my surgeon's right hand woman) told me that, in addition to the weight loss, this surgery would be a hard reset of my taste-buds. That means foods I've always loved may suddenly be utterly repulsive, and foods I never thought I would like, or even hated, may suddenly be appealing to me. I've discovered that with cottage cheese and hummus. Before the surgery, I hated both. But now I think they are so delicious! And that may change too! Apparently my tastes will continue to fluctuate as I heal. I'm a little sad that I may not enjoy certain tastes anymore, but I'm also viewing this as an exciting opportunity to expand my palette. I can't wait to see what foods I'll enjoy in the future!

I'm a little less than a week into Phase 2 and I'm losing about 1 pound a day. If that keeps going, I'll have lost about 35 pounds in the first month! I can't even begin to imagine. But who knows if I'll keep losing weight at that rate. It's already started to slow down a bit from Phase 1, so we'll see. Besides, I don't want to lose the weight too fast! I've already developed a bit of a...muffin top, let's call it, from dropping 22 pounds so quickly. While I'm thrilled to be losing the poundage, I have also become pretty self-conscious. I'm certain the loose skin will only continue to get worse. My team assured me that they will most likely be able to get the tummy tuck and any other skin surgery covered, because it is related to a covered weight loss surgery. But even so, I won't be eligible for it until at least a year after the gastric sleeve. Which really sucks, but I understand it's important to make sure my body has lost all of the weight, or at least the majority of it, before they start cutting off my skin. Therefore, I expect to be extremely self-conscious for at least a year, but it is what it is.

The important thing is that this procedure has vastly improved my health. Immediately after I was discharged from the hospital, I was told to come off my high blood pressure medication and my insulin medication. And thus far, there have been absolutely no adverse side effects. I saw my doctor last week and my blood pressure was completely normal. So far so good!

The thing I'm struggling with the most is my new appetite. Or rather, lack there of. I think I'm so hungry, but within five bites or so, I'm full. Then I feel hungry very quickly after, but I've realized it's all in my head. What I'm actually feeling is my body digesting. This led me to the conclusion that my brain associates me digesting food with hunger. As in, well that food is going through the system so now we need more to replace it. Absolutely wild. Not only that, but my body doesn't actually feel hunger anymore, period. There's a reason why I said "I think I'm so hungry." Part of the gastric sleeve is involves removing the area of the stomach that produces ghrelin, the hormone that induces hunger. I'm still battling with what my brain thinks is hunger, because my brain doesn't realize that anything has changed. It thinks my stomach is the exact same size it was, and it's used to me eating a certain amount of food. I've been assured that this will change over time, and my brain will eventually adapt to my new stomach. Apparently, within the next week or two, I will stop experiencing hunger altogether. I can't even begin to imagine.

Additionally, I have to wait 30 minutes between eating and drinking. That's been very difficult as well, especially since I'm used to eating and drinking at the same time. This also makes it much more difficult for me to get enough hydration during the day, but I'm doing my best. It's important that I stick with this habit though, because eating and drinking at the same time can cause intense heart-burn right after surgery! Even after recovery I need to be cautious, because drinking while you eat can cause you to digest faster, leading to more food intake and possible weight gain. I plan on developing a solid strategy with my dietician when I see her towards the end of my recovery.

The full recovery period is 6 weeks. After that, I hit Phase 4, aka, the rest of my life. I'm scared and excited for what the next few weeks hold. My body has literally changed, and my mind is catching up. I keep worrying about what's going to happen. Will I go back to my old eating habits? Will I ever be able to have pasta again? What about desserts? Maybe I won't even like desserts anymore! How drastically are my tastes going to change? But the fact is, I won't know until I get there. All I can do is live in this moment right now, continue focusing on my recovery, and just see where the road takes me.

[meditating-dog-lover]

2017-2020 me vs current me (health and wellness and fitness)

Back in 2017-2020 a lot of the wellness tip I got were from influencers and models online. Some of the tips were solid and really helpful, some of them were bs, some were unrealistic, and unfortunately a lot were more looks and aesthetics focused as opposed to health focused.

I was into dieting and exercising back then. But I crashed in late 2020-2022 because of COVID depression and having to process a lot of trauma and learning how to unmask. I put the weight back on, ate a lot of junk and sugar (would eat a whole pizza or bag of party sized chips and have a cookie/muffin with a sugary coffee drink). I would exercise a lot and even do intense stuff like brisk walk for a full hour and do HIIT weekly. But when I started working I stopped. I developed very poor body image.

I developed stress and anxiety over my life and responsibilities as someone who recently graduated from college and was going to start my first job. So I had very little work and finance experience and knew little about health (I wanted to establish these asap so I'm not screwed over when I'm older).

But of course I'm a scientist and I'm smart. So I should know about health and wellness. Not from what I hear from influencers online, but from my own research and listening to what other experts, like doctors and dieticians, have to say. I started making small steps to work on my health in March 2023 after meeting a holistic dentist. But even more intensely since June 2024 because I developed severe eczema and my anxiety/depression got bad. My mom and sister pushed me to take care of myself.

I'm not a superficial person irl. I don't see the point of taking care of myself just for aesthetic reasons. But when I find out all the benefits that a healthy low glycemic anti-inflammatory diet, fasting, supplementing, drinking 2 L water, exercise (cardio and strength training), gut and hormone health, sleep and stress relief, and proper breathing have and how all of these are great at preventing disease, then I'm way more inclined to follow them. And I feel so much better and more inclined to commit to them.

I'm not eating low calorie, diet sugar free foods anymore. I'm not running away from carbs and fats, but I'm also eating good portions and am fasting. I'm also brisk walking often as my cardio/fat loss routine. I aim for 30 minutes brisk walking 3x a week and pilates/yoga 3x a week (I want to be lean and toned and have a healthy metabolism).

I might not be where I want to be physically. But continuous healthy eating and fasting, as well as brisk walking and pilates/yoga will help me achieve the lean and toned, yet very metabolically healthy body, that I want. This comes from a health POV rather than just aesthetics, making me more inclined to stick to my routine and to do it in a much healthier manner than through restriction. I will get there and I can modify my routine if needed, but I think what I really need to do is to be consistent longterm and I will see more changes.

I used to do a lot of hair, skin and nail care, but a lot of that just comes down to a healthy diet and supplements. I use less products and spend less money yet I still look just as fine as I did back then. I also stopped heat treating my hair and grew it out.

My teeth are straighter and whiter and probably healthier (though I do have anxiety and trauma over my teeth).

I'll get to my goals, I'm doing great.