#I’m just literally neither
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My punk ass little brother has been absolutely SLANDERING me because he decided to go through my sketchbook and he saw this
“You’re autistic AND a furry??” IM GENUINELY NEITHER BRO STOP STOP STOPIT STJOP
#I have adhd not autism#probably#:(#rdr2#red dead 2#arthur morgan#hyperfixations#does this count as fanart#also nothing wrong with being a furry or autistic#I’m just literally neither
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I genuinely love not having a crush like I’m not over here feeling physically sick over some mid guy being dry to me I’m literally chilling
#Spring semester of last year was so bad bc I was unironically into 3 guys at once and they were all#Being dry and cryptic to me#And then before that in 2022 I had my horrid situationship#I had a mini obsession arc in dec 2023 over someone but now there hasn’t been anyone since#And my palette is so cleansed#When a girl is like I miss having a crush I’m like you’re literally a masochist#There was very briefly a girl I thought I had a crush on when I realized I’m bicurious but#I haven’t put effort into talking to her bc the idea of pursuing anyone makes me wanna claw my eyes out#I’m pretty sure I ghosted her by like just not responding to her last messsge actually#Not on purpose but more so bc I realized I was feeling the same anxiety I felt whenever I had a crush so I was like#Yeah I’m dropping this for now#I’m also always the most present for my friends when I don’t have a crush so idk#Like I don’t wanna be consumed by anyone I just wanna chill#The solution to not having normal attraction to people is just to not be attracted to anyone at all#I fr cracked it#I always just crave the butterflies out of it and never an actual relationship anyway#But they’re so not worth it#Which is why I always get bored of guys who’re forthright like oh ok you actually WANT something…. U don’t wanna just have fun#Not for me#I think the guys I’m into and I typically diverge in the sense that neither of us wants a relationship but they just wanna fuck me#And I more so just want the butterflies experience / to playact couple for like a couple months but nothing too serious#Which is why it never works#Like it’s not that it doesn’t work bc either of us wants a relationship it’s more that what we want out of the situationship is different#So lame#Ok this was a lot but I literally came to this epiphany while writing these tags
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Gourmand: Any minute now.
Hunter: …I-
Arti: I’m sorry!
Hunter: Huh?
Arti: I-I’m so sorry. For attacking you, and for- for everything.
Arti: I’ve been such an asshole to you.
Hunter: …Yeah you have been an asshole. But I fucked up too, I didn’t know what I was saying. I thought…
Hunter: …it doesn’t matter what I thought. I shouldn’t have said that. I, uh… I-I heard about your k-
Arti: Don’t. It’s in the past now.
Gourmand: Is it?
Gourmand: You attacked him over saying something that triggered you, so no, it doesn’t seem to be all in the past.
Gourmand: It isn’t fair to hurt someone for not knowing something that you never told them.
PART ONE IS DONE!!!!!!!!! Part two will probably come in about, uh, seven years, give or take. /j
(It isn’t perfect, but it’s been too long and I needed to get the first part of this comic out. I’m honestly super happy I finished, because it was unnecessarily hard lmao. Anyways I’m gonna ramble in the tags now)
#Rw siblings au#Rw Artificer#Rw Hunter#Rw Gourmand#okay okay so#The last frame is basically Hunter realizing that Arti doesn’t actually know anything about what happened to him either lol#Also we finally get the reveal of what that one drawing of Hunter being confused was about!#He did not expect to ever hear Arti say she was sorry#Like for anything#The Arti he knows doesn’t do that lol#But! She’s changing! For the better! :D#Gourmand is out here desperately trying to parent these two idiots#He literally put them in a time-out to think about what they’ve done lmfao#Neither of them have ever been hit with the “I’m not mad I’m just disappointed” before lol#But it’s finally happening! They are having a conversation!!! Yippee!!!#The time it took for me to draw this comic is canonically how long they were sitting there for before either of them said anything /j
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I’m thinking about a jegulily fic (cause I’m a touch obsessed) where James is blind and will purposely forget to bring his cane out with him on days where he’s going out with Regulus and/or Lily so he has an excuse to hold their hands for the entire day.
This is the most James potter thing I’ve ever heard.
#neither of them notice when he does it for literal months#someone else has to point it out to them for them to notice#whether they stop him or not is another question#look I have of lot fic ideas#just not time to write them#God damn the job I chose to get#I’m so writing this#james potter#regulus black#jegulus#starchaser#sunseeker#jily#flowerpott#regulily#jegulily#disabled james potter#james potter headcanon#jegulily headcannon#maurder era#jsp- marauder era#jsp- jegulily
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starting to get upset about daniel again this is a sign i need to sleep 😭
#feeling stupid and sad bc at the end of the day i’m selfish and i just want him back in a car#i don’t even car what car literally any team anything#but even if he wanted to i feel like the way red bull is slandering his talent all over the place would make it near impossible#like he’d never escape the washed allegations and if he wasn’t literally winning they would just get worse and worse#i know there’s probably not a scenario where daniel gets to race again AND be treated fairly#and that hurts so bad bc i don’t want one without the other so instead i get neither
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Nine! About time I drew him
#my son! (is only like 7 yrs older than him)#sonic prime#nine the fox#tails nine#miles nine prower#sonic prime nine#him and his many tags#ibispaintx#digital art#artwork#my art#as you can see I’ve given up on line art cuz my lines are never straight (and neither am I)#when drawing him I just realized how complex his design is like omg#I struggled#I’m still not over that trailer he’s off his rockers he’s going insane he has done nothing wrong ever cuz I said so#I’m still pissed at sonic for saying that line#when he says ‘he messes with all of us’ does that include the chaos council???#I hope not they were they literally committed crimes against humanity#the council are only working with them for selfish reasons and are only looking out for themselve#so yeah I am now taking custody of nine because of that line#oh sonic doesn’t want him anymore? ok then mine now#don’t talk to me or my son ever again#sonic prime fanart
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mcr might be a surprise band at download…. the weekend before my birthday…. here in the uk…. this is fine it’s fine I’m fine
#thing is I’m not gonna buy tickets bc I literally only want to see them and if it’s not them then like 💀 I’ll look like a knob#I’m also not going camping lmfao there’s no way I’d actually be able to go plus neither of my parents would come or let me (kid core 😝)#but if it IS them???? oh dude. so upset#but also it’d be good because like??? geesus was seen??? mcr performing????#RRAAHHH SO MANY FEELINGS#this is based on a xhalloweeniex tiktok btw my girl is a credible source please go watch her stuff#anyway if it is them then like cool. at least we’ll get new images and videos and maybe in a beautiful world some kind of mcr5 announcement#I’ll just be butthurt bc I wasn’t there lmfao#like it’s literally a matter of days before my birthday :(#mcr#my chem#my chemical romance#gerard way#gee way#g way#frank iero#ray toro#mikey way
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Nice to see Disney Star Wars still pandering to incels
#just like with the sequels#we can’t get original storytelling bc they can’t handle man babies crying#the acolyte#I’m done with Star Wars I think#the acolyte deserved another season#and don’t be in my replies talking incel shit I’ll literally block you I don’t have the time and neither does anyone else to read it#they literally back out at the slightest negative reaction#they def have the money for it if I have to sit through the mandalorian and grogu universe
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sometimes i remember that most north fans don’t write him as an absolute insane person ethical manipulative girlfriend style and i’m like. what is he even then… just a pleasant white man? you know what. more power to you if you need a pleasant white man for a blorbo but god that could not be me
#most ppl write north as just like. a nice person i think.#i know him though. i know him.#like nork is SUCH a popular ship (at least like. historically) and every time i see it i go ‘haha that would never work’#and then i remember. oh right most ppl write these guys as like. just kind of decent dudes.#nork to me is like. worlds first ethical manipulative girlfriend (not actually ethical) x worlds first manic pixie dream Nice Guy#who both have literally no identity of their own and sure aren’t actually giving each other one#they’d be so miserable…#constant battle of ‘can’t you see what a sacrifice i’m making for you’#neither of them would ever admit anything was wrong. they both think they can fix it forever#just slowly falling apart. it’s fine :) they’re fine :)#n\orkington is even more baffling#i genuinely couldn’t even imagine the dynamic there#like i know it’s pfl uwu baby wash but even still#he’d be so miserable they’d treat him like shit ToT#oh god north/wash. wash run. WASH RUN.#noooo wash my little chameleon you can’t stay with him he’s going to make you his baby bird#he wouldn’t even realize ToT he wouldn’t even know why he’s unhappy. oh god. wash RUNNNNNNN#i just don’t think north should be in a relationship basically#‘what about churchnorth’ okay. let’s be real. do we really think church should be being in a relationship???#their toxicity perfectly cancels each other out into like. something that’s actually good for both of them#wraps all the way back around. horseshoe theory.#okay this has turned into pure rambling. it’s 4am
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me: hey, so i feel like you maybe disregarded my saying that caretaking on top of work and school and pre-planned travel is a lot for me right now and i’m not comfortable with all of that pressure being on me alone when i wanna make sure you guys have everything you need when i’m not around…
my family: of COURSE we heard you, that’s why we started doing a bunch of things by ourselves at great cost to our physical well-being instead of asking you for help!!!!!!
me:
#my number one emotion right now is wanting to move across the country out of spite as soon as my mom is fully mobile again#i am sooooooooo done#i had recommended looking into options for home care and my mom supposedly did#but then today she was like ‘idk… there’s just nothing that isn’t medical… there’s no options’#so i googled ‘caretaker help [name of our city]’ and found dozens of people IMMEDIATELY#sent her several links#idk i’m just really pissed off#all i’m suggesting that they do is make a plan in case something like this happens again#and they seem FLABBERGASTED#my mom-mom literally said to me multiple times ‘people don’t usually plan for bad things happening to them’#and it’s like. dude. your daughter is literally lying there in a cast right now bc she fell down the goddamn stairs#the bad thing DID happen!!!!!!!#so now that you’re THINKING ABOUT IT maybe make a plan for next time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and i was VERY nice about it#no bad words… no insults… measured and calm tone…#but they were treating me like i was being crazy and unreasonable and i just don’t GET it…#i know it can be hard to ask for help but this is honestly delusional#my mom hasn’t taken a vacation in over three years because she’s NEVER looked into home care before#and neither she nor my mom-mom are happy about that… they’re always venting to me about it#my mom about how she wants to get out more and my mom-mom about how she feels like a burden#and it’s like. my dudes…#just hire someone!!!!!#like. three hours a day tops… just to check in!!!!!#it wouldn’t be that hard!!!!!!!#am i nuts?????? someone reality check me please#i need something firm to grasp onto
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does anyone else do the neurodiverse thing where you’re trying to politely engage in a one-on-one conversation but eye contact is really intense and distracting so you try to make excuses to look elsewhere so you can actually process the conversation better but you know you can’t look at the ground too long or it’ll be weird so you nosedive right in and STARE AT THE OTHER PERSON DEAD IN THE EYES LIKE MHM MHM MHM NODDING ALONG but because you were concentrating so hard you forgot to breathe normally and were lowkey holding your breath but if you look visibly out of breath for no reason that’ll be STRANGE TOO so now you’re breathing through your nose and you can’t look them in the eye so you QUICKLY AND UNNATURALLY LOOK AWAY LIKE THE VERY SIGHT OF THEM DISGUSTED YOU and now every inch of your face feels vaguely out of place and Forced and you have no choice but to leave the conversation immediately
#do neurotypical people just. not think about this. do they just position their faces normally ???#see with people I’m comfy with this is not a problem because I just don’t look them in the eye LMAO#like I might sometimes. for a brief moment. but I’ll literally talk to you without looking at you NSBSBSHDHHD#and it’s sad too because I am actually interested in what the other person is saying and I wanna give them my full attention#the funniest thing was realising my manager is actually neurodiverse too and doesn’t look people in the eye either LMAO#SO WE LITERALLY NEVER LOOK AT EACH OTHER WHEN WE TALK BUT DIDN’T REALISE IT BEFORE BECAUSE NEITHER OF US WERE PAYING ATTENTION 😭 bless#adhd things#autism things#slay !!!#ghost speaks
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Huh… here’s a thought, was Tommy’s 2nd death a fulfillment of the “dying a hero” and experiencing the limbo that he originally dodges by using the discs on the pressure plate?…
[some context]
#sorry for the more or less random thought…. I guess though too what’s the difference between self sacrifice and dying a hero in the trap?#dsmp#dream smp#dsmp finale#dsmp limbo#bet you didn’t expect me to talk about Tommy and heroism today lol XD…. yea me neither… my mind is just funny that way I guess…#do I dare tag Tommy………..#c!tommyinnit#c!tommy#dsmpblr#yes I do… I mean it’s literally about him… yeah screw the hators see y’all I’m not hating on Tommy#lore thoughts
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Original concept. and I’m just gonna roll with it from here based on vibes
So I made them spoopier. I made them a little bit more silly goofy. I take your cartoon logic and make it fae logic. Well. Less logic, more vibing. We like to keep our eldritch horrors funny here.
These two are not responsible. They should not be made responsible for a child in any capacity.
#gotta be my least planned out au ever#I’m playing it so fast and loose#it’s ridiculous that THIS is the one I actually pumped out art for#poor neglected Shallows#and Badinage my beloved#and all the unnamed middle children with thousands of words and folders and docs to them…#anyways#the faeu#art#digital art#fanart#fop#fairly oddparents#cosmo and wanda#digital artist#digital art on tumblr#illustrators on tumblr#digital drawing#oh right!#I made Wanda black for literally no reason#I just started drawing the curls and thought it would be cute and it was!#neither of them are good at keeping the fine details of what they’re mimicking evidently
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sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.
and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.
and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.
#gray.txt#and you know. obviously i personally have my own clear ideas of everything. and i'm content with what i got. this isn't coming from a place#of Well victor is my favorite guy so everything should be about him LOL. i know what he is.#but thats only because i spent like what? 2 years now watching random interviews and analyzing the smallest details within the show that#genuinely meant nothing while they were writing the scripts. and then throwing some random ideas at the wall to see if they stick.#and i just dont think everybody should have to do that LOL. and i think gus's character gets a lot more interesting#when do you do have this clear idea of victor and tyrus in your head and how he interacts with them. but 99% of people dont have that!#nobody fucking knows everything giancarlo and vince ever said about box cutter. nobody knows about the interview where giancarlo referred t#his entire business (meth and restaurant) as his 'family'. and they'd never think of that in those terms#because with the exception of his restaurant workers and mike#it feels like he HATES them LMAO.#tldr all i'm saying is i think we could've benefited from at least one 1 minute long scene of victor and gus exchanging words#where it doesn't end in gus snapping the phone in half out of anger. and also let tyrus speak his mind and have gus agree with him once#also yeah sorry this is all over the place but it is somehow the most coherent i have felt in months so this is as good as its getting sorr#sorry .#also to be clear about my earlier statement that’s a lie my idea of those two is not clear in my head whatsoever i just meant in comparison#to literally the average viewer. and my own personal thoughts about them aren’t even true it’s just opinions and guesses.#and i love a character that i can just say shit about but at the same time i think it’s fun to have idk something in the source material#that you can actually use while thinking and not have to dig around 11 year old reddit AMAs#and that money paragraph sort of came out of order what i meant by saying all that is like#i feel those two could benefit from a clear motivation for why they do all the things they do#and if we have neither personal reasons nor monetary reasons then it just makes them feel like one dimensional henchmen or something#came out of no where* not order you dumb fuck (< me)#also it doesn’t have to be clear in our faces or anything whatever you know what i’m saying . this is too long i can’t keep elaborating
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I can’t believe it. Though doctors flip flop on it because it’s so common, it’s generally agreed by people that pcos fits the definition of intersex. Because it literally is increased testosterone in an afab body. All this time I have actually been physically intersex, but just left to wonder why I don’t feel like totally a girl or totally a boy because doctors are scared of the word intersex or smth. Oh well. It feels good to finally know.
#I am INTERSEX!!!#Maybe not outwardly. But hormonally.#I grow a mustache (it’s just skin colored hair). I grow belly hair and toe hair. Like my dad#But I have gigungus mamajamas like my mother before me and a period sent straight from hell. Also caused by the pcos#I have never felt like all of my inherent traits match either one. Whether it’s what I like doing or how I feel or what I look like#Hell even people in public get confused. Hello… siiiiiiir? Oh my god im so sorry-#So it just. Feels nice. To know all along my body literally IS in between#Just like I’ve always felt. Neither one all the time. Both sometimes. I’m me.#lion’s lair
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oh I am going to actually kill my mother
#no im not but. god damn#she threatened to kick me out again after I said something she couldn’t argue with and justify as my fault#after restarting our fight from yesterday while we are literally in the car just the two of us and on our way to the airport#to pick up my brother#she then threatened to throw me out of the car and have me walk home despite the fact that it’s#it is dark and cold and there was no cell service at the time I was like do you actually want me to die what is this#I know why this keeps happening but she doesn’t agree with me on why but I’m like#Facebook is rotting her brain and so is this situation with my nephew’s mother#she thinks everyone is trying to control her. everyone is suddenly a narcissist. me stating a boundary is not me trying to control her??#I literally only told her I wasn’t going to be her therapist so like what the fuck lmao#her final well you do xyz justification was well you can’t even kill your own spiders and I was like#do you hear yourself right now. Do you not hear how ridiculous this is#anyway she did not like that lmao#but genuinely I can’t decide if she wants me to kill myself or not bc she knows I have nowhere else to go so why else#would she be doing this. she wants me out of the house that fast?? like. idk man#tw suicide mention#just needed to vent again bc holy hell#anyway we just pulled into the airport and neither of us have our wallets and somehow that’s my fault too so#girl the fight did not stop until 10 min into the drive that was on you
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