#i know there’s probably not a scenario where daniel gets to race again AND be treated fairly

[girlsdads]

starting to get upset about daniel again this is a sign i need to sleep 😭

[holllandtrash]

blindsided | lance stroll

pairing: lance stroll x ricciardo!reader

getting your hopes up is a dangerous thing, a lesson lance has to learn the hard way. your connection was real, but what was it based on?

word count: 6.7k tags/warnings: some pining, some unrequited feelings, does it have a happy ending? maybe, maybe not thank you cay @oconso for that line you know the line

You were an enigma to Lance.

You were someone that he felt he should have known, but the two of you had never actually taken a minute out of your days to properly introduce yourself, nor did you ever find yourself in a scenario where you could have had a conversation.

As the younger sister of Australia’s golden boy, Daniel Ricciardo, you were in school and then uni while he was in his prime racing days. Your summers were spent with friends, every so often you’d go to a race or two, but your priority was not being one of those family members who attended as many races as you could, Daniel understood that.

By the time you graduated last year, Daniel had told you his future with McLaren looked unstable and he didn’t want you to attend his races, saying he’d much rather wait until he was back with a 'good team'. 

So you never had the opportunity to meet a lot of the drivers on the grid, Lance included. 

But there was still this strange connection to him.

His sister was dating Scotty, Scotty was Daniel’s best friend, you as well had spent many days and nights at Scotty's family home because he also treated you like a younger sister. 

And it was through social media and your name being brought up in passing here and there that Lance felt as though he knew you. He didn’t. He didn’t even know your middle name, didn’t know what you had studied, didn’t know what you were doing currently.

But he knew you had a good circle of friends, you posted pictures with them often. He knew you drank too much coffee for it to be healthy and it was probably an addiction at this point. He knew you were heavily involved in Daniel’s Enchante clothing line, usually being one of the models when a new collection dropped. 

He knew you at face value, but god did he want to know more.

When Lance stopped by Chloe’s place with a box of empty envelopes she had asked him to pick up, Lance walked in on her and Scotty going over their guest list for a final time. Lance paid them no attention, he dropped the box of envelopes down on the table and sauntered towards the kitchen as the plate of freshly baked cookies looked mouth watering.

His ears perked up when he heard your name, however.

“...did Danny say that Y/N would be able to make it?” Chloe asked, directing the question to Scotty. “We gave her the dates a while ago, but she never got back to me. Also isn’t she terrified of planes?”

“She is, but she’ll take a pill or two and it’ll knock her out for the flight,” Scotty nodded and Chloe rolled her eyes at his joke.

Play it cool, Lance told himself as he leaned against the kitchen island. “Y/N? As in Daniel’s sister?”

Chloe didn’t even glance up, “Yeah, I’ve only met her once but she’s-”

“She’s like a sister to me. If she missed the wedding I'd disown her,” Scotty joked. He rested his arm over the back of the chair and looked at Lance. “Have you met her?”

Lance pretended to think about it, even pinched his eyebrows together, but he knew damn well the two of you had never met, “I don’t think so.”

“She’s sweet,” Scotty told him, his lips curling into a smirk that Chloe couldn’t see. Always a menace. “You two would get along.”

Lance snorted, “What makes you say that?”

“Because you’re both single.”

Chloe grabbed a sheet of paper and crumpled it up, tossing it into the chest of her soon-to-be husband, muttering something about staying out of other people's love lives. Scotty only sent Lance a wink before turning around again to give his attention back to the guest list.

Lance was single, Scotty wasn’t wrong about that. After just getting out of a relationship, he was, admittedly, lonely.

And it wasn’t that he purposely stayed single those months leading up to the wedding, but no one caught his interest. Or, if someone did, Lance would forget about them the moment you popped up on his Instagram feed. 

Your smile was similar to Daniel’s in a sense that it was wide and toothy, easily becoming the most prominent feature on your face as your eyes squinted, but aside from that and the dark features, the similarities stopped. 

As a Ricciardo, one might expect you to have the same bubbly and outgoing energy but from what Lance could see in the photos and videos you were tagged in, or ones you had posted yourself, you seemed to stick to the same circle of friends. You visited the same bars and restaurants because it was what you knew and within your comfort zone. You never went out of your way to make an impression on someone, happily letting your brother take on the more talkative role. 

Lance wanted to know if your laughter was as loud and more amusing than the joke itself or if that was only a trait reserved for Daniel. 

He was tired of trying to piece together who you were through pictures on a phone screen and still, the worst part about this was it felt as though he did know you. Lance had to keep reminding himself that he didn’t, that you never met, that the image he constructed of you in his head might be wrong. 

He wouldn't know until Venice. 

And you, well you thought you knew who Lance was too.

Danny had mentioned him a handful of times. You followed Lance on social media, even if he did have a tendency to be more secluded than other drivers, he still was pretty active when it came to liking posts, especially your posts. 

You didn’t google him, per say, but you were curious. Who was this Canadian driver? Aside from being the son of the team owner, there wasn’t much to learn about Lance besides his driver stats. Again, very private.

But he was cute. He gave off the tall, dark and mysterious sort of vibe, which was never really your type but the more you saw Lance’s photo appear online, the easier it was to forget about those blonde surfer guys that you would usually spend your time with. 

Lance seemed sweet, from what you could gather. And similarly, you felt as though you knew him too. It seemed odd that the two of you had never met and all, with your unofficial older brother marrying his sister. It was like you should have the same circle of friends or at least be able to call each other acquaintances but you couldn’t.

Daniel walked into his parents house in Perth, hitting a few envelopes against the palm of his hand and then the wall, basically demanding attention from his family until he flicked one of them towards you. 

It narrowly avoided your face and you flipped him off in response, earring a scolding from your mother, but it was easy to move past the sibling banter when you all opened the envelopes to see the wedding invitations from Chloe and Scotty.

“Venice,” you breathed out. “Jesus Christ, that'll be a pricey adventure.”

Danny didn’t have to say anything. His elbow nudging against your side was enough for you to know that he would help pay for the expenses. He was always looking out for you, for his family. You wished you could do the same, but at the moment you were just enjoying your first full year of being done with university. 

You grabbed a pen and checked off that you would be in attendance and then you hovered it over the box asking about a plus one.

“You’re not seeing anyone,” Daniel scoffed and then glanced over his shoulder to get his parents opinion on this. “Right? She’s not seeing anyone?”

“No one right now,” you corrected, letting the pen and invite drop to the glass coffee table. You could fill it out later. “Who knows? That might change.”

“Don’t invite someone to a wedding if you’ve been dating them for less than six months, that’s a general rule.”

“Says who?”

“Says everyone,” Your mother interjected. 

You just huffed out a breath of annoyance, “Well it’s a good thing the wedding is nine months away. I have time.”

Daniel stood up, but not before pushing you further into the corner of the couch, muttering a joke about how no one would want to date you anyway. Of course that prompted you to throw a pillow at him and your parents were left standing in the kitchen, wondering why they couldn’t just have one nice afternoon. 

Daniel, of course, wanted nothing more than for you to be happy, despite the constant teasing and lack of faith that you’d ever actually find someone. He knew you had high standards, he knew you didn’t trust easily and he knew you would never follow someone because you were in love or whatever. 

That’s why your last relationship ended. He wanted to move to Melbourne after graduation from university and even that was too far for you. Your whole life was in Perth, your home was on the western coast of Australia, you didn’t want to go anywhere else.

One time, Daniel tried setting you up with one of his athlete friends, someone else who was associated with Red Bull, but he was from Portugal, he travelled for a living and he resided in Los Angeles during his off season. You went on one date and you didn’t need to spend any more time with him to know you could never be in that sort of relationship.

Of course, this wasn’t something you shared publicly. Unless someone took the time to get to know you, your dating preferences would remain unknown.

You were private in that sense too. If you did talk to someone, if you attempted to broaden your circle and add a little romance in your life, you kept it to yourself. You were always paranoid about jinxing whatever fling you had so your friends were often left out of the loop. 

Your parents were a similar story. You didn’t live at home, you had your own flat, but you wouldn’t dare bring someone by for dinner or to meet them in fear that they would get their hopes up. It was one thing to date someone, it was an entirely other thing when parents got involved.

The one person you could trust, surprisingly, was Daniel. You weren’t ever seeking out relationship advice, but you knew his relationship with Heidi started out quite secretive for the first few years, only recently they decided to go public. So he knew a thing or two about wanting to keep a private life private.

So Daniel was the one you approached only a month before the wedding, eight months after you had rsvp’d to the event and checked the box reading no plus one. You waited until he was visiting home and you weren’t under the watchful eyes of your parents but rather the comfort of your own flat. 

“I have a favour to ask,” you started off, quite hesitant as you weren’t really one to ask your brother for anything. 

And Daniel listened to your request, assuring you that, if you were serious, he could probably pull some strings.

Key word being probably. Daniel couldn’t promise anything and by the time you got to Italy, he did what he could, but you still showed up to the Gritti Palace Hotel the weekend of the wedding with low expectations and a bunch of unanswered texts.

There was a private event in the restaurant and you immediately were drawn to the outdoor portion that overlooked the Grand Canal. The actual ceremony wasn’t until tomorrow, today was simply a chance for the guests to mingle and for the bride and groom to celebrate their last few hours with their loved ones before tying the knot.

With an aperol spritz in one hand and the other gripping the wooden railing above the channel, you took in the sights in front of you. The breeze was gentle and the scenery was breathtaking, stunning enough to make you forget that you were still feeling some effects of jet lag. 

Your back was to the rest of the party but your light pink dress that stopped just below your knee stood out compared to the white and beige decor the couple had chosen for this event. One could say it was because the colour was eye-catching, but there was no way to deny how well it accentuated your curves and highlighted your tan skin, making you appear as if you were truly glowing under the Italian sun. 

You definitely caught Lance’s eye.

You didn’t even need to turn around for him to recognise you. He saw your hair, dark and natural as it flowed down your back and he knew it was you. The girl he thought he already knew, the girl whose life he had been following through a phone screen for god knows how long.

It was just his luck that Daniel was nearby. Lance took a minute before heading towards you, wanting to confirm that yes it was you and yes it was alright if he spoke to you without crossing some weird driver line. He nudged Daniel’s arm and nodded towards the girl in pink. 

“That your sister?” Lance asked, clearing his throat. 

Daniel nodded, quite happy that someone else here knew who you were. It was always uncomfortable when you attended gatherings and didn’t know many people, it just made you want to leave early. 

“Yeah, you guys have met, right?”

Again, Lance played it off as if he wasn’t waiting for this moment, “No, I don’t think so.”

“Oh definitely go introduce yourself then, mate,” Daniel encouraged, which gave Lance even more confidence. “She’s shy, she'd rather drown herself in aperol spritz’ before ever approaching someone.”

Shy? Lance hadn’t pegged you for being shy. Introverted, maybe. But you seemed to have such a good group of friends and you went on adventures with them quite often that shy just didn’t seem like a characteristic of yours. 

“It’s not weird if I…” Lance trailed off, unsure how to ask the rest of his question. “It’s okay if I talk to her?”

Daniel laughed, finding the question to be humorous. He wasn’t in charge of you, who was he to have a say over who you could or couldn’t talk to, “I don’t care, just don’t be a cunt or I’ll have to kick your ass.”

“Deal,” Lance chuckled before he shoved his hands into his pockets and made his way towards the balcony you hadn’t moved an inch from. 

Lance wasn’t nervous, but he knew he should have been.

But again, it felt like he knew you. So he was comfortable enough to lean against the railing, not entering too much of your personal space, but close enough that you couldn’t ignore him. You turned your head, expecting to see your brother because as far as you knew, he was the only one here who would ever approach you, but you were pleasantly surprised to see Lance.

“Hi,” you said, already a smile on your face. Lance was someone you recognised. This wasn't a stranger approaching you, you could breathe. He was someone whose name you had heard quite a bit recently too, with his sister getting married and his good performances with Aston Martin. 

He was your brothers, best friend’s, soon to be brother in law. It was a long string that connected the two of you, but nonetheless, that connection was there. 

Which was why you already felt comfortable with Lance, even with this being the first time you’d ever met. 

“You’re Y/N right?” Lance asked. He knew damn well who you were. “I’m Lance.”

“Yeah, yeah,” heat rose to your cheeks at the idea of you being recognised. “Hi, it’s so nice to meet you. I feel like I-” you sucked in a breath instead of finishing your thought, not wanting to come across as overwhelming.

“It feels like we already know each other?” Lance guessed, because this was exactly what was going through his head too. 

Quiet laughter passed through your lips, Lance felt weak at the knees. 

“In a way, yeah,” you agreed, nodding your head. 

You had similar mannerisms to Daniel. Strong eye contact, saying ‘yeah’ to fill the gaps in sentences. Lance looked down at your hand and saw a few tattoos like that traced your wrist and a delicate design of a flower along your finger, similar to your brothers. Something that he hadn’t picked out from your Instagram.

The way you curled your fingers around the fragile stem of the glass caught Lance’s eye next. Your touch looked careful, soft even, and Lance wanted to know what it would be like to feel it for himself. 

And this wasn’t one sided. 

With Lance in front of you for a change instead of hiding behind Aston Martin admin approved photos, you could appreciate him in a whole new light. Social media and tv interviews didn’t do him justice, he was much more handsome in person. 

You liked the confidence he carried, even if he did seem a bit on the introverted side as well. You instantly got the impression that Lance was someone who stuck to himself but cared deeply about the people closest to him. He seemed like someone you wanted on your side, someone you could turn to at any time and know you would get a shoulder to cry on or a celebratory hug or even just someone who would really listen, if that’s what you needed.

You already felt connected to him, even though you knew you had no reasoning behind it.

“I’d offer to get you a drink but it’s an open bar and-” he eyed the aperol spritz in your hand. “-well you already have one.”

“I have two hands,” you teased, but your roguish smiles mirrored one another's and it was only a few seconds later when you and Lance were walking back inside towards the bar. 

He thought about dropping his hand to your back, but didn’t want to overstep. Contrary to what he might have wished, you had just met. 

But when someone stepped past him and Lance was forced to move closer to you, you didn’t inch away. In fact you looked at the point of contact at your arms and then glanced up at him, still sporting a natural pinky colour in your cheeks.

You didn’t really need another drink just yet but Lance ordered one for himself and when the bartender asked if you wanted a second, you just shrugged and said why not. It was an open bar, who were you to say no?

Lance and you stayed at the bar, getting as comfortable as you could on the stools as you fell into a good conversation. He was easy to talk to, like he was a friend from college that you bumped into by chance.

But even with the natural flow of the back and forth, you had to remind yourself that you were still just getting to know each other.

Within the hour you learned that his favourite colour was dark blue, that when he wasn’t focused on racing he tried going to as many hockey games as he could. The Habs, as he called them, was his favourite team and it took a few minutes and a bit of a history lesson for you to understand how the Montreal Canadiens got the shortened nickname. 

You learned he was not a morning person, whereas you thrived in the early hours of the day. He didn’t read as much as he liked to because of his demanding schedule, but you were quick to give him a list of recommendations based on what you thought he might enjoy if he ever did find time.

In return, Lance learned you studied hospitality and had a degree in Hospitality Management, with the goal of one day managing a hotel. When Lance questioned you more on that field you admitted that you actually wanted to take a lodge or a resort that was a bit of a fixer-upper and turn it into something great. You liked a challenge. Lance liked that.

Lance learned that you really enjoyed surfing and right now was actually the prime time for you to be getting ready for the season. While Perth wasn’t the best place in the world for surfers, it was perfect for you because it was never something you wanted to pursue professionally. 

When it came to the topic of travelling, Lance was surprised to hear that you didn’t do it as often as he assumed. You explained that everything you needed was on the west coast of Australia and you weren’t an easy person to travel with. You struggled with anxiety in airports, horrible jetlag, you overthought every plan, even if you weren’t the one in charge of the itinerary.

Travelling was a no, to sum it up. 

“But Daniel-”

“Travels all the time, yeah,” you finished Lance’s thought with a laugh. “Yeah we’re not alike in that sense. Even coming here was tough, but he told me there was no option to attend virtually.”

“Not a fan of planes?”

“Not in the slightest.”

Lance nodded, already thinking about how to approach the topic of trying to stay in contact long distance without coming off too strong. Sure he could ask for your number, but what if he wanted to see you again? Which he did. If a plane ride from Perth to Venice was a lot to handle, he could imagine a trip to Montreal was even lower on your list.

But Lance really liked talking to you, it was easy. It was natural. He didn’t have to try too hard, he didn’t feel the need to impress you. You laughed at his jokes, you understood each other's humour. The two of you clicked, it was impossible to deny that.

Which is what Lance hoped would happen. 

You were everything he had imagined and more and he was asking himself why he never tried to meet you sooner. 

That same question flashed through your mind too. Why couldn’t you have met sooner? After months of being forced to try and imagine what sort of person Lance was, it was heartwarming to know that the image you painted of him wasn’t entirely wrong. He was sweet, he was charming, he liked making you laugh, he knew how to keep a conversation going and it was obvious he cared to get to know you. 

These were traits you looked for in people, in a partner. 

But this chance encounter came a few months too late.

The conversation took a pause when Scotty appeared behind Lance, his soon-to-be ringed hand going to his shoulder as he gave both of you one of his signature smiles. 

“Y/N! Happy to see your plane didn’t crash!” Scotty teased, knowing your distaste for air travel. 

“If my drink was full I’d throw it on you,” you shot back. 

“Ah that’s just a waste of an open bar,” Scotty waved your meaningless threat off. “Honestly, though, thank you for coming. Chloe’s around here somewhere-”

“Lost your wife already?” Lance joked.

“Maybe she’s  a runaway bride,” you added. “She can still back out, you know?”

“Ha ha,” Scotty rolled his eyes. “Lovely to see that you two are getting along at my disposal.” He patted Lance’s shoulder and then turned to you, snapping his finger before pointing. “Did Danny talk to you?”

“Um-” you shook your head. Daniel and you hadn’t had a second to catch up since you arrived, despite the dozens of texts you had sent him. “No, why?”

“It’s all sorted out,” Scotty assured you. “It really wasn’t that hard to swing an extra chair, you gave us enough notice. The more the merrier, right?”

“Oh, Scotty thank you,” you breathed out. You reached forward and squeezed his arm in appreciation, but your smile was enough gratitude. It was the type of smile Lance had been waiting for. The grin that overshadowed the rest of your stunning features, the thing that had drawn Lance to your photos in the first place.

Only Lance wasn’t the reason for it. 

“Is he down here?” Scotty asked and this was about the time Lance realised he was missing something. There was a layer to this conversation that would tie everything together.

“Jet lag’s still getting to him.” you laughed, nodding your head towards the doors of the restaurant. “He set an alarm to get up, I’m sure he’ll be down here soon.”

“Can’t wait to meet him,” Scotty said with a nod, but there wasn’t much room for you to say anything else before he found a new guest he had yet to interact with. 

You looked towards Lance, but he was pretty good at hiding the confusion he was currently experiencing. In fact he played off needing to excuse himself pretty easily, you didn’t think anything of it when he said he needed to speak to Scotty about something quickly. 

Lance pulled the snowboarder aside, not at all mirroring his elated expression, “She has a boyfriend?”

Scotty tried to glance in your direction but Lance tugged on his sleeve to get him to stop in his tracks, not wanting to make it obvious they were talking about you. 

“She has a boyfriend,” Lance repeated, no longer a question. “You told me she was single.”

Scotty racked his memory for a second and scoffed, “Yeah nine months ago. Not my fault you waited too long to make a move.”

“How was I supposed to make a move when I hadn’t even met her?” Lance was clearly annoyed but he kept his tone to a sort of angry-whisper. “I was waiting for this wedding because I knew she’d be here.” 

“Sorry mate,” Scotty sighed, slowly piecing together that this wasn’t something Lance could casually blow off. “But I mean, you couldn’t have liked her that much. You don’t even know her.”

But in a way he did. And god he knew you felt the same. There was no way to explain the connection you two shared, but it was there. 

Lance inhaled a sharp breath, doing his best to keep from looking at you across the room, “I feel like I should say something.”

“Don’t,” Scotty immediately rejected the idea. “From what I hear from Danny, she’s happy. She doesn’t need you coming in and mucking it up.”

“But what if she’s-”

Scotty cut him off with a harsh laugh, “What if she’s what? The one? Lance, you just met her!”

“Then why does it feel like I’ve been waiting for her my entire life?”

Scotty let out a deep exhale, lifting his hand to Lance’s shoulder. He gave him a sympathetic squeeze, “Because she’s pretty and you’re lonely. Now let her be. Don’t ruin a relationship during my wedding weekend.”

He walked off shortly after, leaving Lance to, hopefully, make the right choices.

Lance should have listened to Scotty. He should have rejoined the party and leave you be, knowing that his chance with you was either non-existent or just extremely slim. How serious were you and this boyfriend anyway?

As if the universe wanted his question answered, the boyfriend himself walked into the restaurant.

The only reason Lance knew it was the boyfriend was because he saw the way you stood up from the bar and practically ran to him, your pink dress was impossible to mistake even as you hurried to work your way through the party.

Lance watched as your hands went to his tie to adjust it before he leaned forward and greeted you with a kiss. You played with a few strands of his dirty blonde hair, probably making some comment about how it looked like he just woke up. He laughed at whatever you said and Lance hated that you looked happier now than you had all throughout the last hour.

He was now trying to figure out if he had misread the signs. Did you even give him any signs? You sat and talked to him but it was Lance’s own fault if he misread that as being interested. 

How did he not know you had a boyfriend? 

Why didn’t you mention it?

Why wasn’t that one of the first things you said to Lance when he offered to get you a drink from the bar?

Why did Lance still feel that spark with you when it should have been reserved for your boyfriend?

Lance wasn’t sure how much time had passed as he stood off to the side, questioning everything he ever knew about you, or what he thought he knew. But he came to and snapped out of his thoughts when he saw that familiar shade of pink headed towards him.

“Hey,” you said, your hand was connected to your boyfriend’s as you led him towards Lance. 

Lance smiled, how could he not when you approached him? “Hey, sorry, I went back to the bar earlier but you were gone.” Did he feel a little bad about lying? Yes, but it was easier to say that than to say, I stopped talking to Scotty a while ago. I just didn’t know how to interrupt you and your boyfriend.

“Oh, yeah, um-” You pulled the tall blond closer to your side. His hand went to your waist. “Lance, this is Matty. Matty, Lance.”

Matty held out his other hand to connect it with Lance’s. It was a firm handshake, maybe a little too firm on Lance’s part.

“Hey, mate, huge fan,” Matty said, similar accent to yours and Daniel’s. 

“Oh thank you,” Lance cleared his throat. “Hope you don’t mind, I’ve been keeping Y/N company.”

“I should be thanking you for that,” Matty laughed, the bitter tone from Lance going right over his head. “I needed a quick nap before this party. I don’t know how you drivers are able to just hop on planes so easily, I think I’d rather sail back to Australia.”

You guys were compatible, at least. Same fear of planes, same dislike for travelling. 

Lance didn’t like that. He knew he was the last person who should have an opinion, but he always thought it was opposites that attracted. Shouldn’t you be with someone that encouraged you to step outside your comfort zone?

“Oh there’s Danny and Scotty, I’m going to thank them for letting me come so last minute,” Matty looked towards the opposite end of the room to where your brother and friend were. He ran his fingers over your back and assured you he’d be quick before he headed off to talk to them.

“Last minute?” Lance asked. “So he wasn’t originally supposed to come?”

You laughed, “No, we’ve only been together for about six months. When I RSVP’d to the wedding last year I hadn’t met him yet,” you glanced towards Matty, “And then about a month ago I realised I kind of wanted him to accompany me here. Danny said it would be fine, probably, so he got a ticket to Venice but we actually didn’t get a confirmation until-” you chuckled again. “Well you overheard Scotty. I found out thirty minutes ago that Matty would have a seat at the table tomorrow.”

When you spoke about Matty, your face lit up. Lance couldn’t deny that. He could see how happy this surfer type from Perth made you.

And in return, you saw how Lance was no longer acting himself. He was tense, avoiding your eyes. You called him out on it, “Is everything okay?”

Lance should have taken Scotty’s advice. He should have said everything was fine and walked in the other direction, letting you go back to Matty.

But Lance was a hopeless idiot. He nodded his head towards the doors of the restaurant that lead towards a secluded hallway, “Can we talk?”

You weren’t sure exactly what Lance wanted to talk about but you followed him out into the hall. The music faded behind you when you walked far enough and Lance wasted no time in saying what was on his mind.

“Do you ever meet someone and it just feels right?” He asked. 

You hesitated, “What do you mean?”

Lance glanced back towards the party, “Like you see them and you just know there’s a connection. That they’re supposed to be in your life.”

“I mean-” your eyebrows pinched together, “Yeah. I’ve experienced that a few times I guess.”

That clearly wasn’t the answer Lance wanted to hear and his defeated expression told you that. He nodded, coming to his own understanding, one that you were having a bit of trouble following.

“Is it wrong if I say that’s how I felt when I looked at you?”

You stared up at lance, lips parted slightly as you did your best to ignore the devastating feeling of your heart sinking to your stomach. You didn’t have an answer, what could you even say to that?

Lance was practically admitting to believing in love at first sight and you, well, you didn’t see what he saw. You couldn’t.

“Look I didn’t know you had a boyfriend,” Lance continued. “And I don’t mean to blindside you like this, really. I think, well I think I was blindsided when I realised you were already taken.”

This was a lot to wrap your head around. 

You never intended to lead Lance on. You chatted with him for a while, yes but you tried to stay behind the line. You didn’t flirt, or at least you didn’t flirt on purpose. You could have said you had a boyfriend, but the truth was, it didn’t cross your mind when you talked to Lance.

Blindsided, he said. It seemed like a harsh word for the situation you found yourselves in.

“Were you blindsided or were you just blind?” You asked, dropping your shoulders to lean against the wall. You watched as Lance really took in your question and he rubbed the back of his neck, unable to come up with a good answer.

You felt for him, really, because you did like him. You liked talking to him, you liked his presence, he was someone that you knew you would get along great with. 

You also knew that if this situation were any different, if you showed up to this wedding single, you’d have probably, definitely, given Lance a chance. And this wasn’t something you should have been thinking about because you had a boyfriend. You were happy. Imagining an alternate timeline without Matty seemed wrong.

There was a connection with Lance, but it was one you couldn’t act on. 

“Lance, I think we both had an idea of who the other was before we came here, but we had very different ideas as to how this weekend would go,” you continued, a certain gentleness in your tone that Lance appreciated. “I was looking forward to meeting you. And we both agree that it feels as though we already knew each other...but the truth is, we don’t.”

That was a stab right to the chest for Lance, but he nodded in agreement.

“I guess I just thought this weekend would be the start of something,” he admitted, trying to play off the thought with a chuckle.

You wanted to apologise, it was human nature to want to sympathise with other people, but you had nothing to apologise for. 

Lance had constructed his own image of you and in it, you were single, you were compatible, you were willing to see this connection through and make something of it. 

And that’s what blinded him.

If he had taken a second to actually pay attention to what you shared on social media, he would have recognised the same blonde haired guy showing up in a few photos dating back to almost six months ago. All Lance paid attention to was you, your smile, you having a good time, your adventures. You were private about your relationship, yes, but you weren’t keeping it a secret either.

Lance just didn’t put it together until it was too late.

It hurt you, really. You didn’t like knowing you were the reason for someone’s sorrow. In fact you almost went as far as to say, if things were different…

But things weren’t different. You were with Matty. 

Was Matty the right person for you? Lance wanted to ask that but he knew he’d be crossing a line if he did. That was something you had to figure out on your own. 

After six months of dating, you liked to think he was. The timing was perfect, he treated you well, he made you undeniably happy. 

And yes, you could have looked at Lance and told yourself he had the same qualities. That he was also perfect, that he also could have treated you well. There was no doubt in your mind he could have made you happy if he was given the option.

But timing was not on your side. 

Lance licked his lips, taking a step away from you and closer to the crowded restaurant where he knew your boyfriend was waiting, where his family was waiting. You would both go your separate ways and return to how it used to be, following each other's lives through a phone screen.

“Right person, wrong time, huh?” Lance tried to joke, but the soft smile you gave him in return told him that there was some truth to his words, truth that even you didn’t want to admit to.

In an attempt to fix this, you spoke from the heart. Telling Lance what he needed to hear, even if you weren't fully convinced by your own words. As long as you sounded believable, you both could move on from this moment.

“If it’s the wrong time, then it’s probably the wrong person.”

Lance nodded, noticing the way you struggled to keep eye contact, something you hadn’t had issues with all night. He took that as a sign that it was time to walk away. From you, from this, from what could have been if they met only a few months earlier.

He turned and rejoined the party, plastering a painful smile on his face as he carefully made his way through the crowd to order another drink from the bar. 

He avoided you and your pink dress for the rest of the night, not because he wanted to, but because it was the right thing to do. And it wasn’t easy because to Lance, you were still the girl that he thought he had been waiting for this entire time. That would take time to get over. He had spent less than a few hours with you and it was the easiest, most carefree evening he’s had in a while, and he knew moving on from you would only be the opposite.

It was his own fault too. Lance was the one who got his hopes up. He was the one who was waiting for the right moment that never came. Or worse, it came and went without him knowing. There was probably a sliver of an opportunity months ago where he could have done something, could have asked Danny to introduce you, could have asked Scotty for your number. By waiting until the wedding, Lance had only set himself up for failure.

If it’s the wrong time, then it’s probably the wrong person.

He didn’t want to think about the way you said ‘probably’. He wasn’t going to. Lance knew you weren’t leaving any sort of hint, you were just letting him down gently, which only further proved how good of a heart you had. 

You were so kind, so caring, you were perfect, and you weren’t his.

You never would be.

[freeuselandonorris]

7, 24, 32 for the writer ask!

writing asks!!!

annoyingly i filled most of this out and then tumblr ate my answers SO take two!

What is your deepest joy about writing?

so this isn’t joy, per se, but i had a conversation with @lost-decade recently where i mentioned that i think a lot of my attraction to writing comes from the fact that i am, at heart, a horrible little control freak (positively unheard of in kink community etc etc) and thus it is very satisfying to me on a deep lizard brain level to put characters in situations and then make those situations conform to my wishes. my writing output always goes up dramatically when i am feeling overwhelmed or uncertain in life and i think this is a big part of it.

but also, i am a person who gets obsessed with things! i am all or nothing! i get obsessed with people (or rather their public personas, fourth wall and all that) and media and scenarios and kinks and tiny little details and big philosophical concepts. writing lets me poke at all those things. picture me like gollum holding a snow globe, shaking it up over and over again to watch how the flakes fall.

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

i’ll talk about fic first as that’s what people on here know me for writing-wise. the answer here is: it depends! for my slutty little one-shots i tend to do very little research; stuff like crosstown traffic or a lot like life are largely unplanned or inspired by one real-life event that sparks an idea (although i guess you could say i researched the njoy plug in a lot like life in the sense that i own one lmao).

with longer fics, particularly RPF, i LOVE fitting my fic timelines into real-life events. this is particularly satisfying with motorsport RPF because the races give the year a very particular and easy-to-research structure. so for longer fics like there was always warmth between us i watched a ton of youtube videos and clips of max and daniel for both timeline inspiration and characterisation (although honestly i read that fic back the other day and my dialogue for them is so generic at times gjrskjfs), plus i wrote it relatively soon after the season itself.

with the toto/christian sequel to all the blood runs hot before it’s cold i’m working on, i wrote myself some notes of what themes i want to explore, plus a timeline of last season so that i could tie those themes into the arc of the season, like so:

i probably won’t use all those notes in the final piece, but it gives me a structure to work from.

for original writing, again it depends. for short stories and poetry i tend to free write for a bit beforehand until something appears from the ether that i can use as a starting point. for my novel-in-progress, when i wrote the first draft i basically did…maybe a page of planning? this was a bad idea. it was a mess. i resisted planning for ages but eventually i had to admit that for long-form pieces i cannot adequately structure my writing without one. so i went back and wrote a very elaborate plan using the six-arc story structure, which allows for much more freedom than a traditional ‘save the cat’ style beat sheet. highly recommend. i try not to do too much research beforehand (which is hard given i’m writing a novel about AI, something i have very little practical knowledge of!) because i just get bogged down and end up procrastinating.

jeez, that was an essay.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

oh lol there are SO MANY. i have a few of them tattooed on me. let me answer all three of those with the first example that comes to mind:

for poem, ‘turning and turning in the widening gyre / the falcon cannot hear the falconer’ from the second coming by wb yeats haunts me. the whole poem haunts me, actually, for reasons that should be obvious upon reading. but those lines utterly terrify me.

for novel, again there’s hundreds but the one that first came to mind was ‘you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style’ from lolita by vladimir nabokov. lolita is one of the books i’ve re-read the most because it is a complete masterpiece, and this line embodies that to me. it’s clever, it’s funny, it’s defensive, it slides in a fantastically important plot point in the shape of a joke. amazing.

from fic, this is maybe a random example but the first one i thought of was this line from darkest little paradise (F1, pierre/charles) by heroics: 'Charles clutches him for another moment, squeezes the back of Pierre’s neck, resists the urge to drop to his knees right here and let Pierre do whatever he wants with Charles’s soft body.' i don’t know what it is about it, something about ‘soft body’. it’s just a line that has really stuck with me as a beautiful example of a dynamic (both in the relationship sense and, a bit, in the kink sense) described with such restraint.

eta: fuck at risk of making this post even more unnecessarily long i just realised i would be utterly remiss not to mention ‘She wants to know where this moral fortitude was when he had her flat on her back in that dark little cottage. Wonders if he had to fuck her to find it. If she has to always be the one to pay for it.’ from @widespindriftgaze’s astonishing taskmaster RPF masterpiece broke both early and late (part 2 in a series), which i have never managed to read without crying.

thank you for asking! ❤️

from this writing asks post. i love shit like this (as you can see from how fuckin long this got); please feel free to ask more if you're reading this!

[skittlebits]

A Lesbian’s thoughts on Happiest Season

So, I really enjoyed The Happiest Season because it was a gay holiday movie and the great casting, especially Kristen Stewart, Dan Levy, Aubrey Plaza, and Mary Holland.

But

The closeted storyline is written way too heavy for what was marketed as a holiday movie. Like, yes, it technically occurs during the week of Christmas, but it’s not a holiday movie. A holiday movie doesn’t have the lead character crying several times because she isn’t sure she truly knows who her girlfriend is, and isn’t sure she’ll ever be accepted into her gf’s shitty family.

For this movie to be a holiday movie, there would have to be way more antics like Abby setting the roomba off in the closet and the ice skating race between Harper and Sloan and way less heart-wrenching scenes like Abby texting goodnight to Harper at 1:15 am knowing she’s out with her ex-boyfriend and Harper acting like a complete bitch the next morning when Abby checks on her.

Is it authentic? Yes, painfully so. Every LGBTQ+ person who had a rough coming out to family will feel like they’ve been gut punched. They’ll be thinking about it for days.

Should it have been marketed as a holiday movie? Hell no. Maybe to straights? But once again it’s a lesbian movie that tries to be a mainstream film but accidentally adds too much realism and puts a heavy damper on what could have been a more light-hearted holiday film.

But, then it would have been Hollywood-ized and many would also complain of that.

There’s no winning when it comes to gay films. It reminds me of how Daniel Levy’s character, John reacts when Abby says she’s probably going to ask Harper’s dad for Harper’s hand in marriage. He’s appalled that Abby would be caving to the patriarchy. But isn’t that one of the peak heteronormative scenarios when getting engaged? How can you fault a lesbian for wanting what she’s grown up seeing in society?

This film is a gay film wanting the heteronormative holiday movie experience but it’s gay and like most realistic gay films, too heavy with baggage to fit the cookie cutter mold.

That being said, how many people watching wanted Abby to end up exploring something with Riley? The scenes between Abby and Riley were very good, in small part because it was a reprieve from the heavy Harper storyline but also because they had chemistry to spare. Aubrey Plaza has always been the queen of intense looks but in this film she used her body language to set the pot on simmer the entire movie.

Also good was the scene where the three daughters confess to/confront their parents. I’ll try to ignore how the parents went from super shitty people who fucked their kids up emotionally to amazingly understanding parents in the course of an hour, because hey, we really needed a happy ending here. I also love how kind and awesome Jane is, and how her book ends up published. Honestly, I think if they did a sequel to this film we could actually get the light-hearted holiday movie we wanted and needed. ❤️

[adaodinson]

Thank you

I got the inspiration for this since I watched Rush again (one of my favorite movies). I really enjoyed writing it so I hope you enjoy reading it :)

And well my obsession on Daniel Brühl makes no sign on leaving any time soon, so I’m putting that to good use.

Summary: Niki notices his new neighbor the second she moves in next to him, will you notice him?

Warnings: swearing, assholes and Niki being a little shit that knows what he’s doing.

Relationship: Niki Lauda x fem!reader.

You sighed as you carried the last box into your new house. You had started taking everything inside with a rather positive energy, but after four hours you were exhausted. Everything was now inside, but as you closed the door and turned to look at your small living room, the sight made you want to cry. Sure, everything was inside, but it was still packed up.

-You know what- you talked to the air- I´ll do that tomorrow, I´m gonna treat myself cause this was fucking exhausting-.

You walked towards your new kitchen. Of course, the only things that were unpacked were your writing tools and cooking tools. As you walked around the counter a sudden feeling of tired happiness filled you. You had finally found a job you adored, and at the need, you didn´t hesitate in moving out from your country into this new, small place. It was perfect for a person or two; or as your case happened to be, one person and two cats. You were starting, doing what you loved, and you knew it was going to be tough, but you weren´t expecting anything else.

Almost automatically, you started settling all the ingredients for spaghetti bolognesa on the counter, and since you knew the recipe by heart, the only thing you used your phone for was to play your favorite music. As you danced and sang around, you moved gracefully, working with the stove, chopping what was needed and mixing expertly. You had always loved cooking, and you were pretty good at it, if you said it yourself. But you never saw it as a career. Your thing was writing.

As you waited for the pasta to cook and the sauce to simmer, you looked outside the window when a sudden light in the next-door house was turned on. It was pretty close, so you had a good sight of the inside. It looked cozy, but it seemed whoever lived there didn´t spend most of their time inside. Curiously, you waited to see if you could get a glimpse of the person, but after a few minutes passed, you gave up and went back to the kitchen.

Niki was just arriving to his house. He was, as usual, exhausted. All he wanted was to finish the phone calls he needed to do and go to bed, but an amazing smell that he immediately recognized as bolognesa caught his every action. He headed for the window, and that was when he saw you. You were wearing a pair of dark blue pants and a purple hoodie, and even though your mother would have said you looked like a homeless person, Niki thought you were insanely cute. Of course he always kept that kind of thoughts to himself, but he couldn´t help but staring as you danced around the kitchen, checking on the pasta and mixing up the sauce. He could get a rather low volume of your so inspired singing, but what he managed to hear was beautiful.

-Huh, she´s pretty, dances, cooks, and sings… what a sight I get from here- He said to himself, allowing his mind to take you in and think of you, not only in a bit of a sexy way, but in a cute one as well.

From that day on Niki caught glimpses of you many times, doing different things. He learnt so much about you, but at the same time, he knew nothing. It was obvious you had two cats, and that they loved you as much as you loved them. His heart had ached the first time he saw you laying on your small garden, with your back facing up, and with both of your cats cuddled on top of your back as you slept. For those moments, he allowed himself to feel, knowing it wouldn´t lead anywhere. But it was only for those few minutes that he saw you that he let his mind find somebody so cute and not try to find something wrong with them. He never expected people to know who he was, but he thought someone like you wouldn’t have gone unnoticed at the races, not just by him, but by the other drivers as well, so he knew you probably didn´t know him for his career.

You had seen your new neighbor a few times, and God wasn´t he attractive. You swore you had seen him somewhere, but couldn´t quite place your finger on where. You knew nothing about the guy, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to stop making fake scenarios in your head; ones in which he would look at you for the first time and fall for you, but you knew it was normal to fantasize that way. The day you finally talked to him though, was a... weird one, to say the least.

You had bought a new couch but forgot to specify in the delivery form that you needed help taking it inside, so when you saw the huge furniture, you felt like screaming.

Niki was arriving from a morning of work with Clay. It was one of those rare days in which he got an afternoon for himself. After parking his car, he walked towards his house, and as he reached for his keys he stepped on something and fell on his ass with a hard smack.

-OUCH- he whined as he tried getting up. The second you felt something hit your foot you knew something was going to go wrong, and when you turned to see your cute neighbor (that happened to have an Austrian accent) on the ground with an angry face, your fear came real.

-What the hell was… watch out next ti…-He yelled but couldn´t finish. The second he saw you on your knees holding the wrap around the couch, he realized he had stumbled with your foot, and his angry face immediately changed into a soft one.

-I´m sorry, is your foot okay?- He asked, feeling stupid at the second the words left his mouth. You looked at him with a confused and embarrassed look.

-What? No, don´t you apologize, I´m sorry, I should have been more careful as to where I was sitting. Please don´t apologize, are you okay?- You said as you stood up and offered your hand to help him get up.

-Yeah, I´m fine, do you need help with that?- Niki knew there were first times for everything, but he cringed at the words that were coming out of him, they seemed to make you happy though, so it didn´t bother him for that long. He wasn´t always an asshole, but he definitely wasn´t used to being nice either. Around you it seemed to come out automatically, and he hated it but loved the way it made you smile. He had so many mixed feelings that he was actually feeling nervous. What the hell is wrong with me, he thought.

-Oh yes please! If it´s not too much trouble, I´ve been trying to take this inside for 40 minutes and well, you can see how good that´s going- He chuckled softly and you felt your heart skip a beat at the sound.

Without another word, he headed for one side of the couch as you grabbed the other one, but before you could lift it, about three people with shirts that spelled “James Hunt” interrupted.

-Hey rat face- a tall, dark haired man said as the other two behind him laughed- hey cutie, is the asshole bothering you?- He said looking at you. Who the hell does this idiot think he is?

Niki´s face was serious, just serious. He didn´t even look at the guy, almost as if he was used to that type of thing happening, and he made no sign to want to do anything about it. It impressed you how it seemed like he genuinely didn´t care about this guy, but you weren´t taking any of it, so before any of the idiots said anything else, you spoke.

-No, actually, the ugly assholes bothering are you three shitheads, so if you could walk on and leave us alone, I would mostly appreciate it- You said with a harsh tone and a serious grin. Niki dramatically turned his face with a shocked and amused expression towards you. The three guys didn´t seem to have any clever response, but their heads were too filled with ego to actually leave.

-Hey, you heard her! Go away assholes!- Niki finally said. They walked looking at each other. They clearly weren´t expecting any of you to talk back.

-Thank you- Niki said with an almost inaudible tone.

-Don´t thank me- you said with a smile- the idiots only wish they were as handsome as you are...- That last part came out without you wanting it to. You immediately covered your mouth with your hand and tried to ignore the surprised but hugely amused grin on Niki´s face.

-I´m sorry, I´m sorry, I didn´t mean to say that I…-

-Do you really think that?- You would have liked to say he was genuinely asking, maybe he was, but now it was pretty clear he was teasing you because of the stupid smirk that covered his face.

-Maybe…- You said as you looked to the floor.

-I´m Niki- He said as he took his hand from the couch and placed it for you to shake. That smirk was still plastered in his face.

-I´m Y/N…- You said hesitantly as you shook his hand, not looking at his face.

-You´re beautiful, you know?- Niki stated with a proud tone. Oh he knows what he´s doing.

You weren´t even able to answer, your face was redder than the apples that were hanging from the tree in front of your house, and as much as you wanted to, you couldn´t come up with any way of teasing him back.

-So, let´s take this inside- He said as he lifted the couch. You only nodded and followed. Niki was dying. He found it so insanely cute and amazing how just a few seconds ago you were being a badass against the assholes that bothered him, but when he complemented you, you couldn´t even bring yourself to answer.

You had no stairs, but it was a relatively long trip, so you really appreciated his help. As you settled the couch on it´s place, both of you fell dramatically into it and sighed at the effort.

-Let me make dinner for you, as a thank you- You said shyly but with a little bit more confidence.

-I´d love that, gorgeous- He said as he winked, and you felt your insides melting. Once again, he had you wrapped around his finger, you both knew it, and you both loved it. You led him to the kitchen and as you pulled out the ingredients, you felt two hands hesitantly grabbing your waist. Hesitantly not because he wasn´t sure he wanted to place his hands on your waist, but because he didn´t want to overstep.

You leaned into his touch and he got the answer he wanted. All afternoon you spent dancing with Niki behind you, talking with you and complementing how amazing everything smelled. You secretly thanked your past self for forgetting to ask for help on the couch, since that mistake led to one of the best things in your future: Niki Lauda.

[pierregasly]

Would love to hear your full take on Pierre,,,

Sorry this took me a few days to get to, I meant to answer it immediately but never found the motivation :( Anyways, onto Pierre. 

I believe you are commenting on a post of mine where I stated my fear that the Middle Generation of drivers (Charles, Carlos, Pierre and Max specifically) have/are going to miss out on opportunities and will never reach their full potential in F1. This is similar to what happened to the “Lost Generation” which is comprised of drivers such as Daniel, Kevin, Nico and Checo. To reiterate something that another asker was confused about: it has nothing to do with talent. The generations are not lumped together based on talent but based on their similar ages/entrance into F1 and I am speaking on the wasted potential that this group never got to achieve. (For example, Nico’s full potential was podiums--he never got here. And Daniel’s full potential was a championship--which he’ll never get.) 

I am not going to waste your time and state what I said briefly about Charles, Carlos and Max but I will go into depth more so about what I hardly touched upon with Pierre. As I said, Pierre is a phenomenal talent. As much as his podium and race win may have proven it to the world, many still call him a “luck driver” who is not good enough for a higher team. This is, obviously, because of  his time at Red Bull dramatically overshadowed his career. 

I started following Pierre around 2017 when I first got interested in F1 because of the history. In 2017 he wasn’t racing in Europe but in Super Formula so I took the time to catch up on his career thus far (I will go into depth on this in a moment). I didn’t start watching F1 until 2018 and the only driver (non-historical) I really was attached to was Pierre (others would comes later). Obviously, if you remember, Pierre ended up taking P5 in qualifying and P4 in a Toro Rosso in front of the whole world in only a few races at Bahrain. It was absolutely incredible and for the rest of the season until his Red Bull announcement, Pierre was dishing points place after points place after points place in only his first full season in F1. Therefore, while it was only his FIRST FULL SEASON, the jump to Red Bull ultimately felt justified. 

Of course, this did not end up being the case. Our joy over Pierre getting to be in a higher team made us completely and utterly forget the track record Red Bull has left with its second drivers. For those of you who are new to F1 (either coming in 2019, mid-2019 or 2020) you missed out on Pierre’s debut season which was fantastic for the car he was given. Furthermore, if you came in during mid-2019 or 2020 and you think that the treatment RB gave to Alex is horrible--you are hardly touching the surface. The treatment that RB is giving Alex versus Pierre is like taking your sons on summer vacation and then having one of them sleep on the comfy twin bed with two blankets and the other kid on the floor without so much as PJs. We haven’t even touched upon Daniil. Daniil would be like the parents leaving the kid outside to sleep. 

Let’s move on. It is very easy to look at Pierre’s season and tout only negative things. It was not his best moment and, yes, he certainly could’ve done better. However, with what he was given? Are we even sure about that? For example, Pierre become open with the media following his demotion. Not only did RB leave it to the very last moment but they also would:

1) Use Pierre’s car and car parts to test Max. 

2) When Pierre requested a more experienced engineer, he was denied. However, when Alex requested the same thing, he was given it. 

3) RB consistently spoke horribly of him in front of the media. They constantly spoke that he needed to do better and never tried to build him up. 

4) Emotionally pressured Pierre to his breaking limit.

Now the difference between RB and many other teams is that when the going gets tough for their drivers, many teams choose to build their drivers up to set them up for success. RB’s method is to tear their drivers down and hope that they can pick up their own pieces once they become annoyed with humiliation. The demotion was far, far too quick. Think of Alex--he has been getting worse and worse and worse with a year and half of time at Red Bull. Pierre managed half a season before they gave him the boot. The boot was also without warning even despite Pierre getting better and better each race. 

This is all information you probably already know, I said earlier I would touch upon his younger career and how this has been overshadowed and forgotten due to his time at RB. Here are some facts/statistics that will be important for my point later:

Finished 3rd in the French F4 championship with four wins, two poles and seven podiums over the course of only fourteen races despite having three retirements (the 2nd placer had 0 and the 1st placer only had 1). 

In his first season at Eurocup Formula Renault 2.0 he finished 10th of 51 different racers and every person but one who finished before him in the championship was older than him. Pierre was only 16 when Stoffel V was 20, Daniil K was 18, Oliver R was 20, Norman N was 20, Nyck V was 17, Paul L was 21, Oscar T was 16, Melville M was 18 and Alex R was 18. 

In his second season of Eurocup Formula Renault 2.0 he finished first in front of the likes of Esteban Ocon, Oliver Rowland, Jake Dennis, Nyck de Vries, Luca Ghitto and Alexander Albon.

Finished 6th in the 2013 Formula Renault 2.0 Alps Series despite missing half of the season and there being 42 competitors total (everyone ahead of him completed the full season). 

Finished 2nd of 28 competitors in the 2014 Formula Renault 3.5 Series and lost to none other than Carlos Sainz Jr. 

Finished 1st in his second full season of GP2 (now formally classified as F2).

The GP2 race he won in Silverstone happened right after a huge roadcar accident in which his mother ended up in the hospital. Pierre himself fractured his vertebrae and still went on to win the race while his mother was in the hospital and he had a broken bone. 

Was called in to replace a Renault edams driver in Formula E. He was jet lagged, tired and got only a few hours in the sims. He still managed to secure P4 in qualifying and then was set for a P3 finish but he crashed into the wall on the last corner of the last lap and came home in P4. THIS WAS HIS FIRST TIME EVER IN AN FE RACE OR AN FE CAR.

Finished second in Super Formula in 2017 but lost by only half a point. One of the races in the season was abandoned when he was set to win because of flooding and storm. Had it not been abandoned he would’ve finished first at the end of the season. 

All this pretty much brings you up to speed to when he entered into F1 (which all his amazing stuff you should be familiar with). Moving more onto my “take” regarding Pierre. I have shown evidence for why he is an incredible driver, however, now we’re moving onto the not so great bit. I suppose I must answer one question before I move on. 

Do I think Pierre is good enough, against all the rest of the talent in F1, to get consistent podiums if given the proper car? Absolutely. Do I think Pierre is good enough, against all the rest of the talent in F1, to get consistent wins if given the proper car? Absolutely. Do I think Pierre is good enough, against all the rest of the talent in F1, to fight/win a championship one day if given the proper car? This I firmly believe is possible (other thing I’ll get into if someone wants).

The reason I worry and am distressed about Pierre is because I don’t believe he’ll ever get a go at a higher team again. RB really put a shadow over his career, a shadow that is going to worry other teams from placing him into their cars. He has ultimately proven himself with podiums and, of course, the race win. However, seeing as there is so much young talent coming into F1, I don't see there being a place for him. 

Mercedes is set to most likely be Max and George when Lewis retires. Red Bull would never dare to put him in that seat again. Ferrari has their “golden generation” of Charles and Mick to look after. And those are the seemingly “top teams” (if you can even all Ferrari that). Let’s look at the others. Racing Point is going to be Lance and Seb until Seb retires. I don’t see Pierre ever going to Alpha Romeo. And McLaren is set up for the next few years with Lando and Daniel. Haas--I don’t think so. This is ultimately dangerous for Pierre’s career because RB likes to keep fresh meat in their B team car (or if you trust Horner it’s their “sister team” lol). Pierre’s best chance is the escape the RB family. AND I UNDERSTAND that the regulations could make things VERY different in F1 for the future. These are just my hypothesis and guesses--all is subjective and up to interpretation so @ anybody reading this--relax, buddy. So where does Pierre fit in in the future? These are some scenarios I have conjured up. 

1) Mercedes. Let’s say that, possibly. Max never ends up moving into that second Merc seat and instead remains at RB wasting away until they can get him a better car for the rest of his career (ooo burn sorry it’s for the scenario don’t hate me). This would open up a place at Merc for Pierre to truly shine his potential. Most likely, he would play second fiddle to George but hey--it’s still a seat where can utilize that potential. 

2) Red Bull. This would be if they get desperate. I don’t think if given a second chance, Pierre would say no. If Max were still in the team, he would be second fiddle. I can see Pierre going to RB if Max leaves for Merc in the next few years and they want him to lead Yuki or if Yuki doesn’t shine in AT and they end up dropping him they are going to be slim Pickens... I don’t know if being at RB will give him a place where he can utilize his potential but it’s a possibility. 

3) Ferrari. This would be only a chance if Mick doesn’t do great in Alpha Romeo and they need someone to fill the seat of their obvious place holder Carlos. He would be alongside Charles. Other than that.... Ferrari seems pretty set and there isn’t any space. 

4) McLaren. This I don’t see as very possible? I would love to see him in orange but they seem pretty set with Daniel and Lando. I think Daniel is probably going to ride out the end of his career there. Lando seems very integrated into the team and I can’t see him leaving unless he got a better offer like Merc. If Max didn’t end up taking the second Merc seat in the future and remains at RB then Lando might be given an offer which would open up a place that Pierre could possibly take. Do I count this as realistic? Not really, but it could happen. At McLaren I could see Pierre utilizing his potential. 

5) Renault. This is one of the options that seems most realistic to me. They're set with Fernando for the next few years. If they decided, after 2021, to give the boot to Esteban, that would open up a place for Pierre in a French team that would love a French driver (they already have one but Pierre is a FRENCH WINNER). You know that teams loves their nationalism.... Anyways. Or, possibly, Fernando retires after two years (again lol) which would open up a seat for Pierre to take along Esteban. However, I don’t really see Esteban staying long term because Renault probably needs to put one of their Renault babies like Guanyu or Christian in there. 

6) Williams. Lol. No. 

7) Haas. I don’t see it happening really??? I have my reasons but my gut just says... Au revoir.

8) Racing Point. THIS. This I see as 100% 100% a possibility. Let’s say that Seb retires after two years--this would open up a seat. Pierre is a strong, consistent and stable driver who doesn’t make mistakes. Here he could really use his potential!! #PierreInGreen!!

9) Alpha Romeo. As I said... I really don’t see it. They seem pretty busy with all their young guys. 

So to conclude, the future for Pierre lies at either Renault or Racing Point (less chance but possible includes Merc to McLaren). To not take up any more of  your time, this is what I mean by Pierre being an incredible talent who may or may not get a chance at a higher team. He deserves to have more and to have a second chance. He has really proven himself and is pulling the absolutely maximum out of himself. I really want to see him with more, like he deserves. 

Even Charles wanted him as his teammate at Ferrari back in April... that’s saying even more. Everyone on the grid except Esteban rate him highly as a person and as a driver. His potential deserves smth better. He has proven himself time and time again against everyone who told him he wasn't good enough and who still say it was all just luck. There exists luck. But firmer than luck, there exists skill. 

Pierre Gasly is a race winner in an Alpha Tauri. Do not forget that. 

[someone-worth-racing-for]

How many fics are you working on? Which one are we going to be spoiled with first?

Love your writing!

Oh, anonym - this will take maybe a little too long. I hope you have time 😉 Let me start..

my active stories:

The next story I want to post and I’m currently writing, is that one request I have alreay promised to post since a longer time. It’s this one: I would have a request where Carlos and Lando are together and really happy. Carlos being the protective one and Lando the insecure one. When Carlos leaves for ferrari, Lando gets mad and they break up. But in the end Daniel gets them back together with Charles as they are both so sad and they are fed up to watch the pining haha. Also Lando races badly after break up so it is affecting him a lot and everyones curious - I will just change it a little, because yes, they will break up, but not because of a fight they had (I have already so many great requests about this scenario, so don’t worry - whoever has sent this amazing request to me - I will write about it at least once in my future stories), but I already had that one idea since a longer time and it fits so perfectly to this request, so I just had to use it for this one. I hope I will be able to post this story with the end of this week/with the beginning of next week. 

Then I finally want to upload the next chapter of ‘Becoming a man’ - I know how keen you are all about this one 😉 A little spoiler to make you all even more excited for it - it will gonna be hot again 🔥 About the end of this story? I really don’t know, I think it doesn’t even have one! 😅 It’s probably a never ending story, because I have sooo many ideas for this one, so you better get used to this story, because you won’t get rid of it so quickly in the next time 😉

The same actually goes for my story ‘It doesn’t change anything between us’ - the end is also nowhere to be seen there in the near future. These two stories will be a part of my life for a longer time ❤️

Then we have ‘Love is the only thing that get’s stronger when you share it’ - I have planned two more chapters for this one, I really can’t wait to finally write.

The next ‘Soy lago means I love you’ - there we have some more chapters to come, I guess about five more

And of course, ‘Who am I, without you’ - here I have also planned two more chapters, whereby the second chapter will be about Max/Charles

These were my active stories, now we come to..

my inactive stories I still want to update (one day):

‘I will always be there for you, brother’ I really want to post one more chapter for this story (It was and still is my baby❤️). I actually already know since ages what I want to write, I just need someone who writes it down for me.. 😅

The same goes for ‘At the right place, at the right time’ I already know since a half eternity what I want to write, but I just haven’t found the time yet..

(And maybe if I should ever be in the mood for it, one more chapter for ‘Carlos and his boys’ I just miss writing about them..)

And now we come to the stories, which I have planned / I have already written in my head, but not on my PC / I have made notes for or for which I have at least already written some scenes:

Japan 2019, when there was this storm and all the drivers had to sleep in one big conference room, Lando gets scared and looks for protection by Carlos 🥺

This one story for which I have already written 5k words, where I let all my very dirty fantasies free - it’s really just pure smut and I probably won’t ever post it.. 👀

The one I have wanted to write since ages and I dream about more often in the last time again, in which Carlos adoptes a cute toddler named Lando.

Then we have the story I have already talked about a few times, in which Lando is in a very unhealthy realtionship and gets physically but also menatlly abused by his boyfriend and Carlos saves him.

And of course all those great requests you have already sent to me over the last weeks! I really wish to have more time to write and update sooner and more regulary..

But yeah.. I think that was it, at least for now 😅

And of course, thank you very much for your support! I really appreciate it ❤️

[ilovejevsjeans]

Daniel Ricciardo on Anthoine Hubert's death: 'It's an anger it's happened again

Last Saturday, Daniel Ricciardo went through what might best be described as a long, dark night of the soul.

Following the death of Formula 2 driver Anthoine Hubert at the Belgian Grand Prix, the Renault driver went back to his hotel and questioned whether it was all worth it. The answer did not come easily, but in the end the Australian raced at Spa on Sunday.

Four days on, he sits down with BBC Sport at the start of the Italian Grand Prix weekend, and delves deep into what it takes for a racing driver to confront his fears and race on in such difficult circumstances.

"I certainly questioned it," the 30-year-old Australian says. "The reality is, weirdly, I do love it too much. Racing did feel right in the end. Even though I didn't really want to, once I did it, it was like, OK, this actually feels right and normal."

For a long time over last weekend, though, it felt anything but normal.

"When you're a kid and you see it on TV, and you're not present or not part of it," Ricciardo says, "it still seems like there is some form of distance, or a disconnection to what's happened.

"But when you're there and it happens to one of your colleagues, or it's in the same race, it seems more real, and it's like: 'OK, this actually can happen to anyone, and it's here, it's present right now.'

"The realisation of us not being invincible does set in. I know my parents stress enough for me already - you know, watching me race and travel the world and being on a plane every few days. You just question it: is it really worth putting not only myself but family under the same amount of stress?"

The aftermath of the accident

The night of the accident, Ricciardo says, he "didn't get much sleep, and for sure you're asking yourself questions, probably just fighting a little bit with some anger and some frustration of 'why,' you know?

"And then also fighting with a few of the emotions of should I actually get up and race tomorrow? Is it the right thing to do morally? Is it the right thing to do for me?

"And I kind of did also think: 'Let's see how I feel by lunchtime, and if I'm still having some doubts then maybe the safest thing for me is not to race.'

"I kind of wanted to play it by ear. Just running through all these scenarios: 'What if I feel like this? What if that?'

"By Sunday morning, I had a bit more clarity. I did manage to sleep a little bit and wake up preparing myself for race day. But it still felt cold and weird. It didn't feel right to be excited to race, just to be happy to be there. It felt like, tick off the minutes and get the job done.

"The lead-up to the race, I'd probably just describe it as not very fun in terms of just it was tough to try and go through the motions and go through a routine when that has happened less than 24 hours ago. And, you know, drivers' parade and all that, you're waving to fans, but you don't feel right smiling or being happy, I guess.

"It was difficult, just trying to get into the zone, just trying to find any form of rhythm.

"Getting in the car on Sunday was not easy, but it was more of a sadness than a fear and I think it was important I established that. If I had been getting in the car with a pure level of fear, then it wouldn't have been smart for me to race. I did understand that it was just a sadness."

'Just go as fast as possible'

"Once we kind of got going, it actually felt like pretty good release. It felt like a de-stress, just racing and competing. Just going at those speeds, it was like flushing out the system and that felt good.

"After the race, for sure I was still glad it was done but I did feel better than I did two hours before that.

"I'll be honest, the race was fun. It was good to be out there. And as much as I was looking forward to seeing the chequered flag, I did enjoy a pure race on Sunday."

The race, he says, acted as a form of catharsis.

"When something happens, you've just go to dive back into it, and that's the best way of overcoming it. And I think that's what the race was for us. I told myself little things as well: 'Just go fast as soon as possible. Leave the pits and just go, and try to get into that mode already. Don't tip-toe around. Don't over-think certain places on the track.'

"I remember I got out of the pits, drifted out, and forced myself to get into that mindset straight away."

This is a reference to his thoughts about going through Raidillon, where Hubert had his crash. It is part of the infamous Eau Rouge swerves, a left-hander over the brow of a hill taken flat out at more than 180mph.

"I told myself: 'Go full throttle, and just don't over-think this corner, don't over-think any of it.' Out of the pits... held it full. That was a relief but it felt good to get out there and do that. And that also told me that I was ready to go.

"I think if I was, big lift and scared, then that would be a sign that maybe I shouldn't be on the track right now. I guess I wanted to do that to test myself and then it all felt right."

Did he talk to the other drivers about it?

"I got to speak to a few. I only met Anthoine this year. The Renault Academy boys obviously spent a lot of time with him and I saw them Sunday morning. I spoke to a couple of them Saturday night as well, just over text.

"They had done training camps together. They're a little family. They're younger as well. That's where I felt I could try and be a little bit of, in some ways, a father figure to them and comfort them. I was feeling it, but they were more so. We basically gave each other all a hug on Sunday morning. We tried to chat over it a little bit.

"And then with the other drivers, I spoke to a few of them, but before the race you could see everyone kind of wanted to be on their own.

"Waiting for the driver parade, we were all just standing there. There were a few handshakes or hugs but you could kind of tell everyone was just trying to prepare for the race and it was a tough one. After the race, I spoke to mainly the French drivers, who I knew were closest to Anthoine."

The Bianchi factor

Hubert is not the first driver Ricciardo has known who has been killed. The last F1 driver to lose his life was the Frenchman Jules Bianchi, who suffered fatal head injuries in a crash at the 2014 Japanese Grand Prix. Ricciardo had come up through the ranks with Bianchi and they were close friends.

"Jules' [death] hit me very hard," Ricciardo says. "In a way, not disrespecting it, I was quite surprised how hard it hit me. I didn't expect it to hit me so hard and for it to last so long - the sadness and the hurt from that extended over some period.

"With last weekend, you think time kind of cures everything, and it was like, OK, nothing's happened for a while and with good reason. The sport's got safer and we're in a good place. And then it happens. And it's a shock.

"It's an anger that it has happened again. We thought we'd moved on from all this. It's when it's refreshed in your mind again and it's there in front of you, it's hard not to take it with difficulty."

Has it changed his perspective on racing?

"Initially, it did change. Time does cure it. Those intense initial emotions did slowly fizzle out.

"With the Jules one, I felt like my purpose and intent after that was, 'OK, if we are going to strap ourselves into these cars, and if we're all aware of the risk, it doesn't make sense to go in half-heartedly. If we're going to do it, go all in, and make it worthwhile.'

"I felt like Jules' passing kind of made me embrace the racer even more so. And to be honest this will probably end up having the same effect.

"I didn't have that kind of fear in the race. And until that fear steps in, I'll just use it as a form of motivation. However many years I do it, at least I can say I did it right."

'I surprised myself' or how do drivers do it?

It can be hard to comprehend how a racing driver can compartmentalise their fears in this way, or the uniqueness of the sort of character required to do a job that they know can kill them, but to go ahead and do it anyway because they love it so much that they can't stop.

Can Ricciardo explain what makes F1 drivers able to live with that contradiction?

He pauses for a few seconds.

"Actually I get goosebumps," he says, "because I don't actually know why or how.

"On Saturday night, I felt in no place to drive a race car on the same track the next day. But then even getting out of the pits and going through Raidillon and all that, it was weird how normal and natural it felt. And I can't explain that.

"It's probably just when you have a deep passion and love for something, that's the result. To be honest, I surprised myself. And we probably all did on Sunday.

"I didn't expect to enjoy any part of the race, no matter where I finished. But I did enjoy being back out there, and that rush of racing. Yes, it was still in your mind, of course. But how we're able to put it to one side for a moment, I can't explain why or how. It does surprise me."

The approach to mortality

Ricciardo is known for his gung-ho style, and his attacking victories, often made possible by on-the-edge overtaking moves in which he throws the car down the inside of an opponent from an impossible distance back. How does he rationalise the risks, carry on knowing that an injury is always a possibility?

"You've got to always control the controllables," he says. "In my case, I guess never get reckless.

"After the race or at times you may see me give a driver the finger or show my kind of anger. But I've always tried to teach myself to not let the emotion take over the driver in the race and get reckless, basically.

"Yes, I've tried some late overtakes in my time and I've done some moves that might seem risky, but there's always a level of control and calculation in that and it's never done purely on emotion.

"So I'll not let myself get reckless or put myself in a position I don't need to be in. Yes, I want to take risks and be on that fine line. But be sensible enough not to over-step it and I think I am able to do that.

"From that point of view, I am comfortable hopping in the car. There's obviously the thing of failures and technical stuff that can go wrong. That's an uncontrollable from my side. Can't really think about those actually. And even if you know they're there and present at times, once you put the helmet on and get going, you don't think about it.

"It's one of those things that if it happens in the wrong place or the wrong corner, then what do you do? You've got to put that rationale in your head that it could have happened on the way to the circuit, it could have happened on the road."

It's rare for racing drivers to discuss danger and the risk of death so openly.

Safety is discussed every weekend in F1, but it's normally on an abstract level - what can we do about this gravel trap, or that barrier?

Hubert's death has brought it front and centre. Is it hard is it to talk about it?

"Of course it is tough to address something that's real and has happened," Ricciardo says, "but it does help to talk about it. Having the comfort of everyone else last weekend and being on the grid together, and talking to some of the other drivers... yeah, it's not fun talking about it, but it also helps relieve any feelings or emotions.

"I think just knowing that you're in the same boat with someone else, knowing that you're not alone feeling the way you do, that helps.

"So being part of a group or a community. That was where you realise, there are rivalries or whatever, but a rivalry on track doesn't express how much we all have in common and how much we do actually care and feel for each other.

"It's tough but it does feel nice to get some of it off your chest." (X)

[doggernaut]

For the fanfic end of year asks: 3, 22, 25 :)

These are awesome questions! Thank you!

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

There are a few I really like.

An early scene from And you may say to yourself, my god, what have I done?, is one of my favorites because it's always fun to get in Year 1 Jack’s head. Year 1 Jack is an anxious mess who is solely focused on his future and overcoming his past. So when he wakes up 20 years in the future, as he does in this fic, to realize he’s happily married to the frog who gave him so many headaches and that they have two kids ... Well, it was fun to imagine how that Jack would react in this scenario and how his reaction would differ from Bitty’s reaction in the companion fic I wrote at the end of last year.

This is just an excerpt, but I really like the way the whole scene turned out:

Jack sits up, heart racing, and realizes he not in his room. He’s not in any room he recognizes as being part of the Haus. This room, with its matching furniture, large windows, and soft gray walls, may be larger than the entire second floor.

“Honey?” The man next to Jack shifts and lifts his head. Slowly, a face comes into focus; Jack recognizes the eyes first. Bittle. His teammate Bittle, who is probably gay, but he’s never said anything and Jack has never asked. Even if he had, there’s no way Bittle would know that Jack —

Jack swallows down the bile rising in his throat and it’s all he can do to avoid a full-on panic attack. He can’t let Bittle see him like this. Whatever happened last night seems to have been okay for Bittle, but shame and humiliation eat away at Jack. How could he have let this happen again?

“No!” Jack yelps, breathing heavily. He can’t take his eyes off of Bittle’s. A voice in his head is telling him Bittle has really nice eyes even as a louder voice is telling him that everything about this is wrong.

Bittle places a gentle hand on Jack’s arm and smiles tenderly. “I know we had a late night, but I just put Daniel Tiger on. We still have a little while before —”

Whatever nonsense Bittle is spouting is cut off by a crash and a cry from somewhere down the hall. He frowns a little. “Or not,” he says wryly. “You stay put, I’ll deal with it. We can pick up where we left off after your parents leave tonight.” Bittle gives him a positively dirty smirk and it’s all Jack can do not to scream as Bittle rolls out of bed and pulls a pair of gray joggers over his boxer briefs (Jack is not looking at Bittle’s ass, he is not) before exiting the room.

Jack’s heart is still racing. What the hell did he do last night? He remembers returning to the house, refusing the beer Shitty offered, going straight to bed. Did he go back downstairs for a drink? Did he have more than one? Is that why he can't remember?

He scrambles for the phone on his nightstand. It feels too large in his hand and he fumbles with it for a moment, nearly dropping it, but it unlocks easily enough and he quickly finds his father in his contacts.

“Jack?” Papa’s voice is gravelly, like he’s just woken up. “It’s early, what’s going on?”

22. Events you participated in this year

I participated in a few fandom events. I wrote a fic for the Bitty’s Valentine’s exchange in February, which I’m looking forward to participating in again next year. And then there was my OMGCP Big Bang fic, What I want to feel, I want to feel it now, which consumed most of my summer/fall. 

I also participated in Fandom Trumps Hate, as both a bidder and an artist. I was the lucky bidder on a fic from @thewesternredcedar , and Every Rule I Had was the beautiful result. I also got to beta read Back To You for @porcupine-girl, who won my beta services in that auction. Consider this a rec for both of those lovely fics.

I still owe my fic winner from that auction a fic, and I hope to work something out for them soon!

25. A fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read

Do I have to limit myself to just one? I’m going to rec three, and these are only a few of the fics I absolutely loved this year. (Eventually I will have to make a full rec list because I hate that I’ve left so many off.)

one day (we'll get this right) by @whoacanada is an achingly romantic AU in which Jack and Bitty never quite made it work and get a second chance years later. Jack and Bitty are written so well in this, both tentative and anxious, yet so ready to jump into this new old thing headfirst. I always love older!zimbits, but one thing I especially love about this one is that it’s set in the city I moved to earlier this year.

And the Day Winding Like Dreams by @hugealienpie is an AU that takes inspiration from Inception, a movie I’ve never seen. That doesn’t matter because the world building is so well done. It was a joy to read the developing romance between Jack and Bitty, and the roles all of the familiar SMH characters were given were perfect. Please read this fic because it should have way more comments and kudos than it does.

Finally, every year I seem to discover a fic about a rare pair I never knew I wanted and then I end up craving more fic about that couple. Seven steps to heaven (but that stairway's just too steep) by @dexondefense  is a fic about Lardo and Jack’s Falcs teammate Snowy and it was an immediate bookmark.

[snarkysims]

Narrated by Shonice Armstrong

I was still fuming over my earlier conversation with Scarlett as Jin-Sang and I got ready for bed. I hadn’t shared with him what Scarlett had said, because I knew my man would catch a cab over to their apartment and have words with Andreas. Scarlett and I were close, so our boyfriends tolerated each other for our sakes...barely. Andreas said if Jin-Sang were any more animated, he’d be a cartoon character. I can’t even repeat what Jin-Sang said he’d rather do than hold a conversation with Andreas. I’ll just say it involves tweezers and hair, and he wasn’t talking about the hair on his face or head! I knew there would be no love lost between them if Jin-Sang blew up at Andreas, but I didn’t want to put a strain on my friendship with Scarlett.

Jin-Sang had been quiet the past couple of days which wasn’t like him. I love my man with all my heart, but even I feel like he needs an Off switch at times. However, this serious, focused version of him was new territory, and I missed his jovial personality. He was working on his first cases at Social Services, and he was throwing himself into them completely. He was taking calls from his clients at all hours of the day and poring over documents on standards and guidelines at night. On top of all that, he had his coursework to complete as well. He was definitely in save-the-world mode as many people are on their first job, but I was worried he was going to burn himself out. I desperately wished I could talk to him about his work in order to relieve his stress.

He, Jonathan, and I had grown accustomed to eating our meals together, and we rather enjoyed it. None of us had grown up with the traditional sit-down family meal. My parents and Jonathan’s dad had always been too busy, and of course Jin-Sang grew up without his parents at all. During our meals, we’d often discuss our days and bounce problems off each other, so it was ironic that all three of us were now in fields where confidentiality was paramount. We had agreed it was best not to discuss work at all so that we wouldn’t risk committing an ethical violation. Still, I sensed something about work had to be eating at Jin-Sang, and it was frustrating not being able to ask him about it. 

My mind was conjuring up different scenarios, so I was startled when he looked over at me and said, “Baby, I need to talk to you about our marriage. It’s important."

His voice was low and flat. It completely lacked his normal boisterous inflection. I could feel my pulse quicken as my mind raced with thoughts. We had only begun seriously talking about marriage a few days ago when we went out to celebrate our third anniversary. Was he already getting cold feet? Did I do something? Was Andreas right? Was Jin-Sang having second thoughts about Ashanti? Did he want to break up with me?

I didn’t answer him, so he continued. “These cases I’m working on are effing with my mind. They’re stirring up feelings that I thought I had buried a long time ago.”

“Feelings about?”

“My parents.”

I looked over at him sharply. I had been concerned his line of work would lead him to think about his parents, but I wasn’t seeing the connection between his parents and our getting married. Jin-Sang didn’t talk about his parents much. He’d told me all about them freshman year. We were both night owls, and we would often stay up late watching TV in the common room while our dorm mates slept...or engaged in other bedroom activities, as in Jonathan and Jerilene’s case. Soon, our late night TV watching led to long conversations about ourselves. Through these conversations, I formed a connection with Jin-Sang that I didn’t have with Mark whom I was sort of seeing at the time. Jin-Sang became my best friend and eventually my soulmate. 

Jin-Sang kissed my forehead and gave me a reassuring smile. “Don’t freak out, baby. I can see your wheels spinning a mile a minute. It’s all good. We’re good. There’s something I’ve been considering for a while now, and working on these cases has made it clear to me. When we get married, I want to take your last name.”

Relief washed over me. He did still want to get married! “Are you sure? Your name is your last connection to your family.”

He shook his head vehemently. “No, it’s my last connection to the people who donated their DNA to me. They threw me away, so why should I hang on to their name? You are my family, and wherever you are is my home, so I want your name.”

Jin-Sang’s voice broke near the end of his statement. He didn’t get vulnerable often. In all of the time that he’d been my friend and lover, I’d never seen him cry. Even when he had talked about his parents in the past, he’d managed to maintain a level of cold indifference towards them. Seeing this little bit of emotion from him made my heart melt. And it did things to other parts of me as well. I ran my fingers through his spiky, black hair. “Oh, baby, I can tell this is important to you.”

“It is.” He reached for the hand that had been caressing his hair and brought it to his lips. He kissed the palm and then held it to his heart.  “Are you okay with this?” My heart was still melting at his tender gesture. Jin-Sang would deny it, but I could tell Jonathan’s romantic nature was rubbing off on him. I liked it. A lot.

“Well, I have to confess. I did like the sound of ‘Shonice Armstrong-Lee, Attorney at Law.’”

Jin-Sang chuckled. “It does have a nice ring to it. I’ll give you that.”

My eyes lit up. “Hey, why don’t you become Armstrong-Lee too? And our kids could have that name as well.”

I caught a hopeful glimmer in his eyes at my mention of kids, but then he looked at me with a wry smile. “Baby, think that one through for a minute.”

Realization quickly dawned on me, and I felt silly. “Sorry. I suppose having both of your names hyphenated is asking too much, isn’t it?”

“Way too much. I love you, woman, and I’d do just about anything for you.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “Except that.”

“Okay, point taken. I’d be honored for you to have my last name then. Jin-Sang Armstrong it is. Wow, that’s really going to take some getting used to.”

“You’ve got a lifetime.” He pulled me closer to him and kissed me on the temple. He held me for a few minutes, and we didn’t say anything. We just enjoyed each other’s company. 

After another moment, Jin-Sang squeezed me again. “So, that was pretty romantic what I said a few minutes ago, huh?”

I gave him the side eye, so he quickly added, “I meant it, of course!” 

“I know you did. And, you’re right. It was romantic.”

He waggled his eyebrows. “Romantic enough to get me laid tonight?”

I laughed in spite of myself. Only Jin-Sang could make such a crass come-on sound endearing. But that was his gift. Even when I wanted to give him a piece of my mind, he had a knack for teasing a smile or laugh out of me. I gave him a sultry look and said, “I got you.”

Jin-Sang gasped and let out a few choice words. He gazed at me reverently as he eased me down on the bed. “Damn, woman! I don’t think anything has ever gotten me as hard as hearing you say those words.” There he was. That was the Jin-Sang I knew, the man with a heart absolutely in the right place and a mouth with absolutely no filter. 

My man was back.

***

I’ve been wanting to write a scene with Jin-Sang and Shonice for a while, but I’ve always struggled with writing these two together. I find it much easier to write Jin-Sang and Jonathan. They bounce off each other so well that their dialogue practically writes itself. But I’m happy with how this turned out. 

I had always intended for Shonice to hyphenate her last name when she got married, so I’m gutted about losing the Lee name. However, this is a case where I need to listen to the character. The more I got into Jin-Sang’s background, the clearer he became about wanting to cut all ties to his birth family, including giving up his last name. 

And while I’m on the subject of Jin-Sang’s name, I want to address the elephant in the room. Technically, the S should probably be lowercase. The name generator that I got his name from capitalized the S, so I followed suit. Also, I have a friend originally from Seoul named Hye-Yun.  I’ve known Hye-Yun for over fifteen years, and she’s always capitalized the Y.  I should ask her if she started doing that because we Americans were always capitalizing it. Anyway, I’ve done some reading up on Korean names, and it’s essentially at the discretion of the individual as to whether the name should be capitalized and/or hyphenated, so I will keep capitalizing Jin-Sang’s and Hye-Sook’s names the way I have been doing it.

By the way, Hye-Sook is named in honor of my friend, and Jin-Sang is named in honor of Daniel Dae Kim’s character (Jin-Soo Kwon) on LOST.

[a-v-e-z-a]

Fanfic of Fanfic, or Fanfic Squared

So... y’all know that @ahiddenpath is my fellow Digimon fanfic writing ladybro. 

She’s been exceptionally critical in why I’ve written as much Digimon fanfiction as I have, because a) she has always been supportive and encouraging when it comes to my writing and b) she sets an inspiring example for the craft of writing itself. 

Moreover, the plots and settings and characterizations that she develops are SO GOOD. They have--and continue--to influence my own writing, so much to the point where I found myself writing fanfiction of HER FANFICTION. 

YES. YOU READ THAT RIGHT. 

So, in honor of Fanfic Author Appreciation Day, I thought I’d share a snippet from my fanfic of her fanfic Four Years. 

Scenario is simple: Tai has a harebrained scheme involving getting the Chosen to run an obstacle race (think Spartan or Tough Mudder sort of of thing). Chaos ensues. 

I may or may not eventually post this on FF.net. Part of me is too embarrassed (like, really? Fanfiction of fanfiction?) But, honestly, why the hell not? 

But for now, here’s a tidbit. 

And if you read this, Hidden, I hope you’re not abashed or angry. I just love that story too much. I can’t help it. lol. 

More below:

King of the Mountain 

(Excerpt)

Izzy followed Amy unwillingly down the creaky staircase, each step dropping onto the next with a plodding thud. Tai had called a general house meeting, the nature of which happened to be important enough to merit an emailed invitation—which didn’t make sense. He, Tai, Amy, Sora, Matt, Mimi, Joe, and Hana all lived in the same house, rented from Mimi’s father. If Tai wanted a meeting, all he had to do was yodel, “Asses in the living room! Now!”

“You know that was probably Hana’s idea,” remarked Amy, seemingly able to peer into his thoughts. Izzy glanced up from his feet and looked at her as they reached the first floor.

“The email invitation?” he asked, wondering if he had, in fact, been muttering his musings aloud.

“Tai is not a planner, Izzy.” She passed him into the living room. “It was definitely Hana.”

Her lack of suspicion over the meeting had Izzy pursuing her with a wrinkling brow. True, Tai was the innovative one, chockfull of ideas—crazy and some, surprisingly, astute—but Hana was the orchestrator, the executor, the (perhaps less endearingly) conniver. She was the Loki to Tai’s Thor. Izzy would never admit fear, but the two of them together did present a certain force majeure.

Everyone else was already in the room, situated in various (or favorite) spots. Izzy was surprised to find Ken and Davis sitting on the floor, in front of the couch Matt, Sora, Joe, and Mimi occupied. Kari and TK were also, oddly, present. They shared half of a mismatched loveseat, the latter sitting on the armrest rather than on the cushions. Kari must have spotted them both. She gestured at the empty spot beside her.

Amy sat, and Izzy, mimicking TK, parked his bony rump on the opposing arm rest. He crossed his arms.

Hana sat in a folding chair by the front of the room, adjacent to the TV. Her laptop rested flat on her thighs, Tai leaning over behind her, pointing at the screen at things the rest of them couldn’t see. Despite sending the invitation, the appointed start time was not respected.

Izzy rolled his eyes, annoyed with the needless tax on his time.

“So, guys…” TK pitched his body towards them, nearly falling over Kari before she extended a hand and corrected his balance. Stable, TK continued, his voice dropping low. “What do you think’s going on? I thought this was a house meeting, but we don’t even live here and we got invited. Davis and Ken, too.”

“You seem to have ideas already, comrade,” Amy replied, supplying the prompt TK didn’t need to share his theories. “Let’s hear them.”

The smile he cracked split open too readily, white teeth gleaming, blue eyes shining with light.

“You don’t think they are going to announce they’re getting married, right?” he conjectured. Izzy sputtered an unpleasant sound, as if he were being throttled, rudely depleted of oxygen.

Amy set a hand on his shoulder and patted, gently. She gave TK a knowing look.

“You did that on purpose.”

The freshman did nothing to conceal his shame. He grinned widely.

“Sorry. Had to do something to wake up the senses. Everyone’s been complaining when they enter the room. That’s no fun.”

Amy tipped her head, unknowingly (or knowingly) leaning into Izzy as she considered the observation.

“Have they?” she asked.

“Yeah,” TK reaffirmed. “No one is even contemplating the possibilities of such a meeting. I mean, what if they are planning a trip?”

“In the middle of the school year?” questioned Izzy, insulted by the sheer inconsideration of such a proposal. “That smacks of massive irresponsibility. And even if they were, it doesn’t merit a scheduled, one-hour meeting on a Sunday.” He continued to rant. “Any trip information could be shared and coordinated via email. That is why cloud-based share drives exist.”

A testy silence followed. Izzy returned his glance to the others in the room, how they were preoccupied with side conversations with their neighbors, apparently not as concerned about the now late meeting the two people at the front of the room had arranged. He felt Amy shift behind him, her body peeling away, and he peeked over his shoulder to see what had caught her attentions.

She faced TK, who had tipped forward himself, the edge of his hand pressed to his cheek.

“Did you give him his vitamins this morning?” he heard him ask. “Because yikes.”  

Izzy snorted.

Both Kari and Amy admonished TK in their flippant, doting way. Amy shook a finger at him and Kari poked a dimple.

As tempted (or provoked) as Izzy was to rebut, he never received the opportunity. Tai clapped his hands, once and loudly, and the room quieted.

“You’re probably wondering why I’ve called this meeting…”

Izzy tried to soften his glare to a stare of mild disgruntlement, going so far as to rub his forehead to smooth away any furrows—if only for politeness. If Tai could read on anyone’s faces a hint of displeasure or a roll of the eyes, his enthusiasm was no less incandescent. His hands were fused at the palms, suggesting he’d start rubbing them together maniacally like Dr. Frankenstein’s mad lab assistant.

“I’ll get right to it.”

He turned sharply and volleyed finger guns at Hana, who, playing along, saluted him with a wink. Laptop keys were pressed, and in a second, the blank TV screen behind Tai lit up to show the black and orange vector graphic of what looked like the silhouettes of a man and a craggy, forested horizon.

Tai stepped aside and gestured at the image like a magician completing his trick—proudly, and with a dash of flair.

“Anyone know what this is the logo of?” he asked.

Izzy’s poor posture worsened. He slumped, planting elbow on knee and chin on raised fist like an emaciated version of Rodin’s The Thinker. Tai’s prompt had all about it the beginnings of an infomercial. He was the smooth-talking spokesperson and marketeer, shouting questions at an audience cued to reply monosyllabic answers in loud and spiritless unison.

True to his metaphor, his group of friends began offering their thoughts.

“The Bionic Man?”

“Daniel Boone.”

“Forrest Gump?”

“Sasquatch.”

With the quality of educated guesses deteriorating (if any were educated to begin with), Tai closed the call for suggestions.

“What the hell, TK?” he yipped. He didn’t so much point at the screen as he poked it. “You think that’s fucking Bigfoot?”

“Brawny guy in the woods, my dude,” TK replied, calmly. “It practically wrote itself.”

With a snort, Tai again tapped the screen with his finger.

“This,” he explained, “is the logo for the race ‘King of the Mountain.’”

Despite the regal name, it inspired no immediate curiosity or interest. The room simmered in silence, all of them collectively trying to find the significance in Tai’s words. No one even asked the obvious. “What is ‘King of the Mountain,’ Tai?” Instead, Mimi used the time to express her displeasure with the gendered name.

“Why not ‘Queen’? Better yet—royalty.”

“Jesus Christ,” Tai muttered. “It’s a name. Girls can be kings and vice versa. Anyway, it’s a race, all right? Held on a local and national level.”

“Oh, like a marathon?” piped Davis.

“Yeah!” Tai jumped, perhaps overjoyed someone had finally shown intrigue. “Well… sort of. Marathons are 26.2 miles, Davis. King of the Mountain—max—doesn’t even reach half.”

Davis scratched his collarbone, prompting a slight puff of the chest.

“Walk in the park if you ask me,” he boasted, glimpsing at Ken.

“Dude, you didn’t let me finish. King of the Mountain goes anywhere from ten to twelve miles, but along those miles will be a series of up to twenty-five obstacles you’ll need to get through to reach the finish line.”

“Obstacles?”

“Twenty-five?”

Tai looked at Hana, and the screen blipped to its next slide, which listed all twenty-five potential obstacles. In skimming the list, Izzy found events colorfully and deceptively named “Ice fishing,” “The Matterhorn,” “Lightning Rod,” “Mudskipper,” and “Krakatoa!” Whoever named the events might as well have been captioning images in a history textbook.

“And there you have them,” said Tai. “Next slide.”

It surprised Izzy little that Tai forewent any explanation whatsoever into the particulars of the dubiously named events. Luckily, hands rose and interjections voiced the instant the slides changed.

“What in God’s name is the Executioner?”

“That doesn’t sound ominous at all.”

“Or life threatening.”

“The hell kind of race is this?”

Exasperated, Tai shut the disturbed and muttering public with a sharp “Just hold it! Jesus!”

Outburst released, he turned, more calmly, to his girlfriend. “Han, can you go back to the previous slide?”

“Firstly,” Tai resumed, “the race, as I’ve said, is only a maximum of twelve miles.”

Only? Izzy retorted. He could barely run a mile, let alone eleven more, with God knows what booby traps lie in wait. Did he also really intend for Amy to run the same race?

“Secondly, the race isn’t tomorrow, or next week, or in three weeks. It’s in three months. We have plenty of time to train and prepare. Speaking of—Han, skip ahead a bit, please.”

Izzy’s brain still buzzed from Tai’s unexpected foresight. He shared Amy’s opinion that Tai rarely planned for anything, but to plan for something three months ahead of schedule qualified as a miracle. Though, all it took was for Izzy to peek in Hana’s direction, and there was his answer. She regarded her boyfriend with an affectionate, engaged attention, nodding subtly in agreement with his points, one crossed leg swinging idly in his direction.

“Now, there’s a prize for the team that completes the race first—along with individual winners—but I thought this would be a great thing to do as a group.”

Never one to avoid publicly contesting Tai’s harebrained schemes, Matt raised a hand, though he was already speaking before Tai acknowledged him.

“Tai, not all of us are athletes.”

About half of the heads in the room nodded, encouraged by the challenge. Izzy nodded so vehemently his chin nearly hit his clavicle.

“The hell did I just say, guys?” Tai answered, exasperated. “This is three months away. If you aren’t an athlete now, you will be by then.”

Izzy raised his eyebrows, momentarily distracted by the mechanics Tai hoped to employ to reach such an end. But the curiosity was short lived when he realized he would be subject to those designs.

TK raised a hand, pointing a pen at Tai like a reporter at a press conference.

“I noticed you are using the general, pluralized ‘you,’” he began, “is it your intention to involve all persons present in this athletic endeavor?”

Tai shrugged, crossing his arms.

“Well, not all,” he admitted, a tad too readily, a natural at the hypothetical pulpit.

“What do you mean?” Matt demanded.

“Could you elaborate?”

TK’s softer, more professional question was overwhelmed by Matt’s complaint, and Tai answered the former.

“It means not everyone will participate in the race.”

“So, what?” Matt countered. Sora laid a hand on his shoulder, ever sensitive to her beau’s warning signs. “You going to run a lottery to see which of us has to do this with you?”

As acidly as the question was given, Tai was impervious to its sting, as if he were forcefielded against negative feedback—or cobra spit. Their fearless leader even smirked.

“If you’re not up to task, Matt,” he said. “Just admit it. No shame.”

The instant Matt stood, Hana rose as well, all five or so feet of her. Carefully, she set down her laptop and stepped in front of her boyfriend, though not without shooting him a pointed look.

She opened her twiggy arms the way actresses on stage performing Shakespeare did, like they were swans unfurling their wings, placating the tense air.

“Everyone can calm the fuck down,” she said, in contrast to her soothing movements. “This isn’t the Hunger Games, okay? We understand that not everybody here is an athlete, but we have arranged a regimen that includes diet and training, each generally accommodated to everyone’s schedules. We also looked at everyone’s strengths and weaknesses and took that into consideration, too.”

Matt sat back down, but his anger was replaced with indigestion.

“Holy shit,” he breathed. “You’re not giving us the option to say no, are you?”

“It’s called the power of preparation, Matt,” replied Hana, all smiles, evidently pleased with herself.  

“Yeah, and anyway,” Tai interjected, with a shrug, “I already bought us the tickets and ordered team shirts, so… it’s a done deal.”

The blond musician’s well-coiffed head sprang up.

“You inconsiderate son of a bitch,” he growled. “You stinking little—”

[justincaseitmatters]

Rewind: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Dr. Strangelove after 50 Years

Originally Published in KCActive.com in January 2014. On January 29, 1964, the world discovered something that Bronx-born director Stanley Kubrick had known for a few years: that the only appropriate reaction to the arms race was a dirty joke. In the five decades that have passed since then, countries that once frightened the world have fallen, alliances and rivalries have reversed, technologies have changed and Kubrick's Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb has become more enlightening, infuriating and, yes, hilarious with time. The Chess Master I almost feel sorry for anyone who is forced to discover this movie in a manner that's different from the way I did at age 11. For some reason, Kansas City's KCMO (now KCTV) broadcast the movie for a 10:30 p.m. showing, probably on a Saturday night. My mother, my younger brother and I congregated around the used black-and-white TV in my bedroom, knowing only that the film in question starred our favorite comedian Peter Sellers, from the Pink Panther movies, and that it might be important because the local paper said it was.   I was delighted that my bedroom had turned into a mini-theater and that we wouldn't miss any beautiful color images. Gilbert Taylor's cinematography and Ken Adam's grand sets look just fine in monochrome. Other than the fact that the movie was in black-and-white, we knew nothing about the assault that was coming our way. For most adult viewers, Dr. Strangelove states its devilishly comic intents up front. The movie's notorious opening credits by Pablo Ferro feature a phallic arm fueling a plane in mid-air as a soft instrumental track of "Try a Little Tenderness" plays in the background. As the geeky son of a Baptist deacon, these amorous aircraft completely escaped my notice.

My mother curiously remained silent, but soon the three of us were so thoroughly entertained that we stopped caring that Kubrick and co-screenwriter Terry Southern (the mind behind the kinky novels Candy, Blue Movie and The Magic Christian) were about to turn all three of us into "deviated pre-verts."

It's not surprising to learn that Kubrick once hustled chess in New York as a young man because he reveals his comic intentions gradually. During the the run up to General Jack D. Ripper's unauthorized nuclear assault upon the Soviet Union, my family and and I thought we were watching a straight nuclear war drama. It wasn't until General Ripper made the following declaration at 24 minutes into the film that we discovered that Kubrick was taking the movie into a direction all his own:

I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

Hearing deep-voiced actor Sterling Hayden utter the word "fluids" without a hint of levity in his voice sent all three of us into hysterics. From here on we knew something was up and that the footage we saw previously was laced with comic venom. We finally noticed Ripper's name and that the pilot of one of Ripper's B52s is Maj. T.J. "King" Kong (played by former rodeo clown Slim Pickens). All Too Real Dr. Strangelove is loaded with characters afflicted with gag names, and sometimes these absurd monikers aren't obvious on an initial viewing. The Soviet Ambassador is Alexi Desadesky (British actor Peter Bull), the President of the United States is Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers), and his top strategist is a former Nazi known as Dr. Strangelove (Sellers, again). While Kubrick and Southern came up with a cornucopia of silly names with sexual connotations, the scenario in Dr. Strangelove is uncomfortably realistic. As more information from the Cold War has become publicly available, the scenario Kubrick, Southern and a Welsh Royal Air Force officer Peter George (from George's 1958 novel Two Hours to Doom a.k.a. Red Alert) cooked up was far from outlandish. Throughout history wars have been started for causes as inexplicable as fluids and water fluoridation, which General Ripper believes has made him impotent. Mental illness and just plain foolishness can strike at anytime  At the beginning of Dr. Strangelove, a disclaimer informs the viewers that the U.S. Air Force has safeguards to prevent the deadly events in the film from occurring. Not really. Around the time that George was writing his thriller about facing nuclear annihilation, Daniel Ellsberg, the future leaker of The Pentagon Papers, discovered that Washington's policy toward who could launch a nuclear attack and when was a mess. In theory, only the president had authorization. Ellsberg, a recent Harvard PhD grad from  working for the RAND Corporation, recalled in his 2002 book Secrets: A Memoir of Vietnam and the Pentagon Papers:

I learned, for example, the secret that contrary to all public declarations, President Eisenhower had delegated to major theater commanders the authority to initial nuclear attacks under certain circumstances, such as outage of communications with Washington--an almost daily occurrence in those days--or presidential incapacitation   (twice suffered by President Eisenhower). This delegation was unknown to President Kennedy's assistant for national security, McGeorge Bundy--and thus to the president--in early 1961, when I briefed him on the issue. 

In other words, Gen. Ripper and his ilk had already been given a sort of green light. On both sides of the Iron Curtain, only whims of fate seem to have prevented nuclear first strikes. According to David E. Hoffman's The Dead Hand: The Untold Story of the Cold War Arms Race and its Dangerous Legacy, on September 26, 1983, Soviet Lt. Col. Stanislav Petrov received a warning on his instruments informing him the Americans had launched a missile strike on his country. His satellites told him that five missiles were on their way to Mother Russia, but there were no visual sightings to match the alarms wailing at his base. Working simply on instinct, he correctly informed his superiors that no attack was taking place and that the warning system was malfunctioning. It's a good thing he did. Doing so prevented an unprovoked Soviet first strike. Petrov's hunch saved countless lives. Sadly, he had only minutes or seconds to make his fateful decision. The Killing Joke Unfortunately, decisions like Petrov's were all too often made at the last minute and in a state of panic. This is one of the reasons Dr. Strangelove is so entertaining and why satire might be a more effective way to point out the horrors of nuclear war. George's novel is a dark thriller, and Kubrick and George initially set out to make a straightforward adaptation of the book. During pre-production, however, Kubrick noticed that some of the situations described in the book, like the President informing the Soviets how to shoot down his own planes, seemed weirdly comic. George was disappointed by Kubrick's change of heart but later wrote a novelization of the film that even included gags that Kubrick didn't film or eventually cut from the movie (like a coda where space aliens wonder how the planet they've discovered called Earth is now a radioactive graveyard). George's later writing focused on the grim potential of nuclear weapons. Sadly, his concern for the subject may have been a factor when he chose to kill himself in 1966. Strangely, in the finished movie, the humor seems to emphasize how fragile a world with nuclear weapons really is. When word of Gen. Ripper's assault reaches the Pentagon, the news arrives, not to a commander ready to deal with the crisis, but to Gen. Buck Turgidson (George C. Scott) cavorting with his bikini-clad mistress (Tracy Reed). Actually, he's in the bathroom when the urgent call comes. 

Similarly, the Soviet Premier Dimitri Kissoff (who, curiously, is never seen or heard in the film) is not at his office in the Kremlin toiling to make his nation a worker's paradise. So where is he when the Soviets need his attention the most? "You would never reached him at that number," says Ambassador Desadesky. "Our Premier is a man of the people, but he is also a man, if you follow my meaning." 

I should probably add that he's also drunk. Disasters, whether natural or man made, rarely happen at moments that are convenient for us mortals. Kubrick and Southern spent a great amount of time figuring out where leaders might be and wondered what they might eat or drink during the crisis. That explains the improvised buffet table in the Pentagon's War Room. They also knew that leaders are human beings and that they are as prone to mistakes and panicking as anyone else. In most of the dramas that preceded or followed Dr. Strangelove, world leaders appear as conscientious or calm despite the heavy stakes involved. President Muffley, however, is understandably nervous and awkward in explaining the crisis to Premier Kissoff. Sellers improvised much of his dialogue, and the call between the two leaders is hysterically funny because it's impossible to think of a polite or an effective way to relay the grim message at hand.

Kubrick's willingness to embrace panic eventually influenced more mainstream nuclear thrillers. In an interview I conducted with director Phil Alden Robinson for NitrateOnline.com over his 2002 adaptation of the late Tom Clancy's The Sum of All Fears, he readily acknowledged how Kubrick's comedy affected his own, more serious movie:

Kubrick is the best who ever lived. I have to believe that's what goes on behind closed doors. Once in a while, the President's emotions must get the best of him. Clancy once said, "If you put the leaders of a country in a room and tell them the decisions they make might lead to blowing up the world, only a sociopath would not have an emotional reaction." The most reasonable people in the world, by virtue of their reason, are going to be emotional and distraught and kind of at wit's end at some point.

Why I Still Love the Bomb As I've grown older Dr. Strangelove has become less of a movie to more and more of an old friend. Yes, it's odd that this cynical, fatalistic movie has such a fond spot in my heart. It's no spoiler to reveal that all of the human machinations in the movie fail to stop a nuclear Armageddon. It's also hard to think of a more clever or even nourishing film. Every time I come back to I learn new things. I spot gags that I missed when I saw the movie earlier. Kubrick consulted over 50 books during the making of Dr. Strangelove, and his attention to detail only shows up on repeated viewings. A friend of mine politely told me that Kubrick's movies like Lolita, A Clockwork Orange and 2001: A Space Odyssey are an acquired taste, but those of us who have   picked up an appetite continuously love coming back to his films, waiting for new treasures hidden in their frames. One aspect that does hit me from watching the movie again and again is that Kubrick, contrary to what his detractors have contended, actually could create sympathetic and completely human characters. Kubrick skillfully manipulates the audience into liking the crew on Maj. Kong's B52. When a Russian missile stalks the plane, Kubrick wants viewers to feel for the crew. Unlike their commander, Gen. Ripper, their intents are not tainted by his madness. For the sake of the story, it would be best if the missile sent them to a fiery grave. Nonetheless, watching the crew trying to stay in the air is nail biting. Unlike his make believe characters, Kubrick understands that real people are the casualties of war. Gen. Turgidson is little better than Gen. Ripper because he has no sense of proportion or consequence. He suggests that proceeding with Gen. Ripper's strike would be worth it, even if millions die. "I didn't say we wouldn't get our hair mussed," he says. Curiously, time has actually made Dr. Strangelove funnier. When I've discussed the movie with younger people, they've told me that the reasons we and the Soviets looked at each other with dread now seem remote and ridiculous. They're fully aware that the world is still a dangerous place, but they understandably think that fluoridation is not good reason to risk the lives of troops. Kubrick was only 32 when he made Dr. Strangelove, but he wound up making something that continues to enrich our lives long after his death in 1999. Through his love song to the bomb, he's revealed how far we as human beings have to grow to become responsible stewards of the technology we have. It's doubtful he could have conveyed this message so eloquently with a straight face.  

[cometkittiesoriginalcontent]

My Life as a Background Character: Matt’s Fangtastic Date

       Greendale is a place where fantastic, out of the ordinary things happen every day. This seemingly sleepy little place is home to strange occurrences and even stranger people. So strange, in fact, that an entire subset of people exists that we refer to only as mutants. Due to a chemical spill that left part of the town with strange mutations and abilities. Since then we have seen the rise of heroes and villains, as well as groups that wish to see all of their kind dead. The social climate here has definitely changed as a result, with neighbors and friends existing on opposite ends of the debate. Greendale has a lot of problems now.

      Another thing that Greendale has is a high number of disappearances. Within the last year, there have been at least twenty people and even more pets that have vanished without a trace. Many try and blame this on the mutants and use it as even more fodder for their hate-filled campaigns, but the disappearances started long before the chemical leak. The mutants are not the only strange thing about Greendale. There is something else, something much more sinister hiding below the surface.

       I was walking home from Eliza’s house one night after eating dinner with her and her father. He had made some overly complicated vegetable dish so that he could show off how fast he was at working with his four arms. I often went over there to speak to the pair of them about their adventures as the town’s superhero pair, being the only one that knows their secret. It was just after eight when I decided it was time to walk home. My parents had a strictly enforced nine o’clock curfew in place for me, especially with all of the crazy occurrences that have been happening lately.

       I was walking down Jefferson Street, just past Chuck’s corner store when it happened. Jefferson Street is a long narrow street filled with nearly identical homes, all with their own fenced in yards. Usually, the Davis’ dog, Roscoe, can be heard barking long before I turn the corner, but tonight all I hear are crickets chirping in the darkness. I continue my trek up the street towards the Davis’ house ready to see my favorite little buddy jumping on the fence in greeting. But when I get there Roscoe is nowhere to be found. Instead, I see little patches of blue fur lining the grass and sidewalk. Roscoe’s fur.

      Walking home alone suddenly seems much more dangerous than it did a few moments ago. I try to ignore my concern for the little mutant dog and continue up the street towards home. I still have several blocks to go before I reach my destination. Every sound I hear makes me jump and quicken my steps. A cat screeching in the dark makes me want to jump out of my skin. I finally hit Main Street and my fear starts to wane as more and more street lamps click on. That’s when I hear it. In between two small businesses is a barely lit alleyway, and coming from it I hear the sound of whimpering. Common sense tells me to just leave. To go home and lock the door. There’s blue fur on the ground in front of me. I go down the alleyway hoping that my mind is just creating worst-case scenarios and that I’ll find that stupid dog unharmed. Down the alley, there is a dumpster with a small pile of boxes beside it. The whining and whimpering seems to be coming from the stacks of cardboard. I begin to move the boxes to get to the source of the sound and soon I have found him. Roscoe. Except he is not unharmed as I foolishly hoped. There, where his collar used to be, are two small holes. His blue fur is streaked with blood. He continues to look at me as he whimpers, obviously in pain. I have to call for help!

      I take out my cell phone and begin to call Eliza. Having a flying superhero for a best friend can come in handy in an emergency. I could just hear the dial tone when suddenly I am thrown against the wall by an unseen force. My phone is ripped from my hands and I suddenly find myself staring into a pair of red eyes. Red. The color streaks his face and stains his lips. His skin is pale and his hands, which are pinning me against the walls, are cold. I barely hear Roscoe whimpering from his place on the ground over the sound of my own heart racing. Is this what it feels like to stare death in the face? I hope not.

      He stares down at me with a look in his eyes that almost looks like fear. What does he have to be afraid of in the situation? I’m the one being held against a wall by an actual vampire while his most recent victim lies on the ground near my feet! This is definitely not how I envisioned my own death. I planned on being old and grey holding the hand of my husband, Daniel Winters, as we fade out together like in some cheesy romance movie. Instead, I’m going to die in a dirty alleyway beside a dumpster. A blue dog as my only companion. On the plus side, if I die tonight I don’t have to take the geometry test tomorrow. Silver linings.

     He opens his mouth to speak to reveal sharp fangs and more blood drips down his face. I cringe and look away, unable to handle the site.

     “I’m not going to hurt you,” he says in a frantic whisper. My eyes are screwed shut as wait for the piercing feeling of his fangs entering my neck. Maybe I have seen too many horror movies, but considering the situation I am currently in I feel my assumptions are accurate. I hear him sigh, and his grip loosens slightly. This is my chance! Using every last bit of courage and strength I have, I kick him away and take off running away from the alley leaving Roscoe and the terrifying creature behind. He doesn’t follow.

       The next day I find myself sitting in class, a test in front of me with numbers that seem to swim across the page. I did not sleep last night for fear of him coming to find me. Geometry is even more impossible than usual. I look around the room, seeing Matt concentrating on his test at the desk beside me. He was really chipper when he entered class today and if I had even an ounce of energy today I probably would’ve asked him, instead his peppiness is annoying. How can he be so happy when vampires are apparently roaming the streets, ready to suck our blood? I want to ask, to tell him what I saw but I’m afraid he won’t believe me, or worse that he’ll assume I ran into a mutant and started crying monster. It happens and is a real problem Greendale faces and I don’t want people thinking that I believe that rhetoric. For all I know that was a mutant I saw last night, but most mutants do not go around drinking the blood from little doggies in back alleys. If he is a mutant, then he is a dangerous one that needs to be stopped. I plan on telling Eliza later. If anyone can do something to fix this it will be her. She fights wayward mutants on a regular basis so a vampire should not be much of a challenge. Maybe she will even use a wooden stake to do it?

       The bell rings and I realize that I had drifted off and left over half of my test blank. Great. Well, there goes my GPA. I gather my stuff and shuffle to the door to walk with Matt to our next class. He’s talking animatedly with Georgie Kline about the test, apparently, he actually feels good about this one. Is this what it feels like to want to stab your best friend? He looks at me and tries to get me in on the conversation, which is honestly the last thing I want right now.

       “So how do you think you did?” Matt asks with a smile. I want to smack it right off of his face. Instead, I just groan. Maybe I was attacked by a zombie last night and not a vampire because I certainly feel like one right now.

       “That bad?” he says with a grimace, Georgie wearing a similar expression beside him. “I’m sure it will be okay. Mrs. Womack is usually pretty nice about these things and I’m sure if you ask you can get some extra credit or something.”

       “Yeah! And it was only one test so it’ll be fine” Georgie says. I just groan again. I need sleep, not a pep talk. Georgie excuses herself as we approach the lockers. Matt and I are lucky to have ours beside each other. He quietly opens his and begins digging around while I stare blankly at my combination lock. This is going to be a long day. I hear the rattling of a pill bottle beside my head and turn to see Matt grinning with headache medicine in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. Forget what I said about wanting to stab him, he’s the best friend a girl could have!

      “I figured you could use these, seeing as you are half dead today,” he says while handing them over to me. I take them from his hands and quickly swallow them. Matt has begun fiddling with my lock and within seconds it swings open. Normally I would question how he knew my combination, but today I am just grateful.

        “Try to wake up please, I have some amazing news to tell you but it’s no fun if you can’t get properly excited for me,” Matt says as he gathers his things and walks away, heading to his next class. I quickly get what I need and follow. Hopefully, the pills kick in soon.

          Classes continue in this manner until lunch time where we join Eliza and the others at our usual table. I have managed to wake up a little but now I keep remembering all of the little details of the attack last night. The way the blood dripped down his pale face as his blond colored hair seemed to shine even in the darkness. Maybe that one author got it right, maybe vampires do sparkle? I find myself actually smiling at the thought of the one I encountered last night covered in glitter. That would definitely make him less scary than the covered in dog blood look he was rocking last night.

          Once everyone had gathered at the table Matt stood up and cleared his throat, making everyone at our little table stop and listen. “I have an important announcement to make! So hear ye hear ye!” he says being dramatic as possible. He pauses in an attempt to increase our anticipation. Everyone turns away and goes back to their own conversations instead. “Fine. Fine. I won’t make you wait any longer! Over the weekend I, Matthew James Garrett, met someone!”

          “That’s great Matt! Where’d you meet him? What’s his name?” I say excitedly. This is a big deal for Matt. He has had a hard time in the very limited dating pool he has here in Greendale, so for him to find a guy he’s willing to talk about means that he’s actually serious about this one.

          “His name is Evan and I met him at Gina’s, you know the little cafe that stays open all night? Well, it was like ten and I decided to go get some coffee to help me get through the literature homework. Mom was still at work so she wouldn’t notice if I left. I walked in and there he was! Pale, blond, and gorgeous with brown eyes! I decided to drink my coffee there and we ended up talking until after midnight. By the way, I’m grounded for a week, but once the week is up we agreed to meet up for an actual date!”

          “That’s great Matt! He sounds great!” I say but I also feel the need to reprimand him for being out so late, especially after last night, “Just try not to go out so late at night by yourself, you never know who or what is out there.” He gives me a strange look before laughing at what I said, the rest of our friends joining in. Of course they wouldn’t take me seriously, I habitually stay out much later than I should. Things are different now though and I want the people I care about to be safe. Honestly, now that I think about it, it’s strange that we haven’t all been given stricter curfews and more rules since the factory incident. A guy set half of the town on fire a few weeks ago! What are our parents thinking letting us go out alone at night?!

          The bell rings and we all gather our things to leave the cafeteria. Matt and Eliza are staring down at his phone and talking in hushed tones. I walk over and look at the phone, noticing that it is open to someone’s online profile. My eyes take in the picture and I feel my blood run cold. There on the screen, beside the name Evan Doyle, is the vampire. His eyes are brown in the picture and his skin is less pale, but I know it is him. I guess the myth about vampires not showing up on film is a lie, or maybe he really is a mutant. Either way, one fact remains: My friend has a date with a vampire.

       School had finally ended for the day and I am headed back to my house with Eliza. I need to tell her about the vampire and about how much danger our dear friend Matt is truly in. I know she will listen to me and help me come up with a solution. Matt was so happy at lunch and I don’t want to take that away from him, but his safety comes first. I just don’t know how to tell him without seeming crazy. Why do all of my friends have to end up in crazy situations like this? One’s a superhero and now the other is dating the undead. This is not normal!

          I quickly lead Eliza up the stairs, not even stopping to greet my mom on the way up. I need to talk to someone before I burst. I secure the door behind us and press my back to it. Eliza is staring at me like I’ve gone insane. Hopefully what I’m about to say doesn’t confirm that I have. “Okay. Are you going to explain why you are acting so weird and why you made me come all the way over here instead of going home? I’ve got like a million assignments to catch up on, so this better be good.”

          I stare at her for a moment, trying to find the words. I can tell she’s getting irritated with me. She huffs and starts to walk towards the door. Prepared to push me out of the way so she can leave. I understand her irritation, as a superhero, her time is very limited. As she’s about to turn the doorknob I find myself shouting, “Matt’s new boyfriend is a vampire!”

          She pauses and turns to stare at me. “What are you talking about?” she says coldly. She doesn’t believe me. I soon find myself babbling, recounting all that happened last night while pacing around the room. She listens intently, only interrupting when I mention the fate of poor Roscoe. When I finish my story I collapse on the bed and she walks over to sit beside me.

       “Are you sure that it was the same guy?” she asks hopefully. I wish I could give her the answer she wants.

      “Yes. I’m sure. His eyes are brown in the picture but that’s the only real difference that I see.”

      She sighs and leans back to lie beside me. “What do we do?” she asks. I wish I had an answer.

        The rest of the week goes by quickly. I keep trying to get Matt alone but every attempt ends in failure. He is never alone at school, constantly telling anyone that will listen about his date.  If he wasn’t grounded I would visit him at home, but that isn’t an option at the moment. Eliza has begun doing nighttime patrols to see if there are any more sightings. There have been none. It’s Saturday and Matt’s big date is tonight. His weeklong grounding has been lifted. Eliza and I head over to his house, planning to finally tell him. Hopefully, he listens. We arrive and he excitedly takes us upstairs to help him pick out what to wear. I’m nervous and I can tell Eliza is too. He finally decides on an outfit, a red shirt and some nice jeans. Red. How appropriate.

       He finally sits down with us and starts to talk about Evan. About how they have been talking and messaging each other all week and how great he is. We need to tell him. I need to tell him. He’s in the middle of retelling a joke that Evan apparently sent him when I can’t take it anymore. “Your boyfriend is a vampire!” I shout, “A blood-sucking creature of the night!”

       The room goes quiet after my outburst. Eliza looks like she wants to hit me. While I admit that was not the most eloquent way of telling him, at least I said it. Matt starts laughing.  “That’s a good one, Annie!” he says through his chuckles, “a vampire? Really? Someone has been watching too much television lately.”

       “I’m not joking! I saw him in an alley covered in blood! He ate Roscoe! You have to believe me.”

       “First off, who is Roscoe? And second, what are you talking about? Covered in blood? You haven’t even met him yet!” Matt says with obvious anger and confusion. I begin to tell my story again, with Eliza interjecting occasionally. When I finish Matt is quiet and is looking down at the floor. He isn’t taking this well and I don’t blame him. He thought he finally found a decent guy in Greendale only to find out that he’s been talking to a monster. He’s realizing just what Evan meant when he asked him to dinner.

       “I can’t believe you would go this far to keep me from going out with someone,” he says with malice in his voice. “I thought you were my friends, but I guess I was wrong.”

      “Matt, we are not lying! We are trying to protect you! You are our best friend and we just want what is best for you!” I say with tears streaming down my face. Why won’t believe me? He’s known me for years; he should know that I would never try to hurt him unless there was a good reason.

       “Get out,” he says coldly. “Just go.” I can feel my heart breaking. He doesn’t believe me and now I’ve ruined one of the best friendships I’ve ever had. Even worse is that I might lose even more than that if he goes on that date tonight. Eliza grabs my hand and drags me out of the house. Matt says nothing as we walk out. His date starts in a few hours and I failed.

       Eliza and I decide to stake out the date. If Matt won’t listen then at least we can be there if anything happens. We are stationed across the street from the restaurant with a pair of binoculars. Matt and Evan have just arrived at the door and are being led inside. Seeing him now in person confirms what I already knew. It is definitely the same person.  Matt has a huge smile on his face and is laughing at something Evan said. Apparently, vampires can be funny. I wonder if he’ll still be laughing when Evan’s teeth are piercing his throat later.

       The date seems to be going well and they stay in the restaurant for a couple of hours before finally getting up to leave. They emerge from the restaurant holding hands. If he wasn’t a killer I would say they make a cute couple. I gather my surveillance equipment so that I can move to a new location. Eliza, wearing her blue super suit, takes to the air. She can get a better vantage point from above and if she gets caught she can just say Dragonfly was patrolling the area. Thankfully Matt doesn’t know about her double life yet. We have our phones so we can keep in contact. I trail them from the ground, hiding behind plants and in alleys the entire way. Definitely one of the stranger things I’ve found myself doing, but if it’s for a friend I will do whatever it takes! They stop and head inside of the movie theater. Eliza rushes down beside me. We have to follow them inside. Movie theaters are dark and the perfect place to hide nefarious activities. Eliza quickly covers her suit and removes the mask. We walk up to the window to get tickets, trying to keep a low profile. We manage to make it into the movie and sit in the back, several rows behind our targets. They seem to be having a lot of fun. It’s a shame we have to end it.

       The movie we are watching is some ridiculous horror flick about a doll that comes to life. Interesting that these two would choose a horror movie to watch, though I suspect Matt did that on purpose expecting his date to be easily scared. I swear that boy is a walking cliché sometimes. From where I sit I can see his arm around the back of Evan’s seat. I roll my eyes at the predictability and Eliza is trying to stifle giggles beside me. The movie reaches its climax and I find myself getting invested, so much so that I stop paying attention to our little couple. The lights come on as the credit roll. We were supposed to exit before the movie ended so we wouldn’t be seen. Too late. Matt has noticed us and he looks like he could murder us. The mission is a failure.

          He grabs me by the arm and drags me out to the lobby, Eliza and Evan following. He turns me to look at him before he starts yelling. I see Evan behind him with a look of absolute terror on his face. I think he recognizes me. Good. “I can’t believe you! Just stay out of my business and leave us alone.” Matt says, but I’m paying him very little attention. Eliza is speaking to Evan, but his eyes keep wandering to me. He knows that I know.

          “Why don’t you tell him the truth, Evan? If that is your real name?” I remark, ignoring Matt’s anger for the time being.

          “Annette stop!” Matt shouts.

       “You recognize me. I know you do. You had me pinned against a wall earlier this week!” I say accusingly. Evan visibly stiffens his eyes looking back and forth between Matt and I. Matt reaches over and grabs his arm, leading him away with a glare and an angry scoff.

       “Don’t you dare follow us.” He says over his shoulder as they walk away. Eliza and I just look at each other before taking off after them.

       We find ourselves traveling down Main street towards the alleyway where this all began. Evan apparently has a favorite dinner location. Eliza flies us both up to the roof of one of the building so we can look down and watch. They are talking in hushed tones. Matt seems to be apologizing for my behavior earlier. Evan stops him though. We can only hear bits and pieces of the conversation, but when even flashes his fangs I knew it was time to intervene. Eliza and I jump down in between our friend and his would-be attacker, preparing to fight if need be. Evan jumps back in surprise and Matt is visibly shaking behind us. “Don’t worry Matt we are here to protect you!” Eliza says as I try to calm him down.

       “I told you not to follow,” Matt says quietly. “I’m okay. Just leave. Please.”

       “But Matt!” I say trying to talk some sense into him. This is a real-life vampire we are talking about.

       “He won’t hurt me,” Matt whispers as he pushes me aside. “He isn’t dangerous. I know he’s not. So please go home and let me finish my date.” He grabs Evans hand and starts walking out of the alley. Evan looks just as surprised as us as he is led away. Eliza and I stand in the alley, shock on our faces. Matt chose to continue his date with a vampire.

       Matt does not respond to any of our messages the next day; however, he does change his relationship status online. He’s alive. He also has a vampire boyfriend now apparently. I want to be happy for him but I’m still scared. Evan may not intend to hurt Matt, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t dangerous. I make it to second-period geometry. Matt is there but he hasn’t looked my way at all. I guess I did end up ruining our friendship. The bell rings and I head to my locker hoping to talk to him. Matt continues down the hall.  This feels awful and I want to apologize, but also I don’t feel like I should have to. I was right about Evan, even if I was wrong about his intentions. I did see him in that alleyway that night. I did see Roscoe’s blood on his face. I needed to save Matt from the same fate.

       Lunch has finally arrived and I expect to see an empty spot at our table where Matt usually sits. Instead, I hear him laughing and see him and Eliza laughing about something on his phone. I hesitantly approach and set my stuff down. Matt grins at me and hands me his phone. On it is an open chat with Evan. The two of them have apparently been sending vampire puns and jokes to each other. The most recent one, from Evan, is a picture of him with a cup of coffee with the words ‘don’t worry, it’s decoffinated’ written over it in red lettering. I found myself giggling along with my friends as I hand the phone back. Everything seems to be okay. We laugh and joke throughout lunch and Matt explains what happened after we left. Apparently, Evan has only been a vampire for a few months. He got attacked while visiting the city and found himself with red eyes and need for blood. So far he’s been dealing with this craving with a diet of very rare meat products and the occasional stray animal. Matt explains that the night I caught Evan red-fanged, Roscoe had already escaped the fence. He apparently cut himself on the way out and Evan followed the scent. He had no idea that Roscoe had an owner. I remember the little tufts of blue fur on the fence and at the entrance to the alley. It made sense. The stupid dog hurt himself in a ridiculous escape attempt. Evan saw an opportunity, and though I am not sure how okay I am with the idea of him sucking the life out of little cats and dogs all over the city, I can understand why. Matt invited me and Eliza to hang out with him and Evan later this week so that we can get to know him properly and so that I can apologize for outing him without his permission. I have my friend back and I couldn’t be happier.

      I went to Eliza’s again that night to study for a geometry make-up exam. Mrs. Womack took pity on me and is letting me retake the test. On the way home I stop in front of the Davis’ empty backyard remembering the stupid blue dog that used to inhabit it. Mrs. Davis comes outside and smiles and waves at me as she holds the door open behind her. A little blue creature comes running outside and starts jumping on the fence. Roscoe is alive! I find myself laughing and petting the little menace as he excitedly licks at my hands. If I notice that his teeth seem a little sharper than before, I don’t say anything. Some secrets are best left unsaid.

          I continue my trek home, passing the dark alleyways and watching as the streetlights come on. I am just an ordinary high school student heading home after a long day. My life is still ordinary. There is nothing that special about me. Those around me, however, have a much more interesting story to tell. My best friend is a superhero, fighting crime and saving the world. My other best friend is dating a vampire. Sometimes I’m glad nothing exciting happens to me. I think I’d rather just stay in the background for now.

[fromstraykids]

goals

characters: you x jinyoung

summary: rivals to romance with soccer!jinyoung

quote: “you’ve scored a goal in my heart”

a/n: heyo! i’m doing a week of jinyoung scenarios for my one and only, tina, @whatabrightplace  

jinyoung week: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

7:34 pm – home game

The sun was beginning to set as your game came close to the end of the second quarter. Picking up your feet, you caught sight of the ball coming towards your team’s goal and ran to the player, who was dangerously coming at you at a fast pace. Just as you thought you had blocked the player, they successfully juked you and went past you.

Mentally slapping yourself on the cheek, you raced after the player, however, they had already successfully kicked in a goal past your goalie. Hearing the whistle signally the halftime, you dragged your sodden cleats back to the bench as the forward, Bae Jinyoung, angrily came towards you.

“y/n, what was that?! That player easily went past you, are you serious?!” he yells as he chugs half of the cold Gatorade. Before you could reply, the goalie, Lai Guanlin, came to your defense.

“Hey, it’s not y/n’s fault that the ball went past me, I’m sorry,” Guanlin apologizes. Softening a bit, Jinyoung continues.

“But you’re the one with a calf injury, we should be doing our best to keep the ball away from you,” Jinyoung explains as the coach comes in between you.

“You kids are always fighting about this and that! We’re a team and you two should at least tolerate yourselves during games! After this, you can kick balls at each other all you want, but right now, we have to win this game,” your coach scolds as you and Jinyoung mutter apologies while glaring at each other. Taking out a piece of paper, your coach then says, “y/n and Jinyoung are now midfielders with Daniel as the forward and Sungwoon as the left defense. I don’t want any complaints.”

Hearing the referee signal for the third quarter, you head to the middle of the field with Jinyoung across from you. Feeling the ball under your foot, you kicked it softly to Jinyoung, who then passed it to Daniel. Racing ahead of the others, you found an open spot before the other team came to block you.   

Trying to catch Jinyoung’s eyes, you moved around the opposing team, juking them out as you ran towards Jinyoung, who then kicked the ball back to Daniel, completely ignoring you.

Of the times Jinyoung had the ball in possession, none of them came to you, sure Daniel passed you the ball a couple of time, but the game mostly revolved around Daniel and Jinyoung. In the end, your team won 3-2.

Stalking over to Jinyoung, you roughly turned him around. “What the heck?!” you yelled as he rolled his eyes.

“You were never open,” he shrugs his shoulders as he takes off his cleats.

“‘Never open’? You son of a–” Before you could finish your sentence, Daehwi comes from behind you and lays a hand on your shoulder.

“Hey, y/n! Good game tonight!” he exclaims as he glances at Jinyoung. “You did good, too, Jinyoung!”

“Thanks,” he says flatly before leaving the two of you together.

Daehwi turns back to you and says, “No offense, but he was a bit of a ball hog today.”

“When isn’t he?” Grabbing your duffel bag, you began to walk out of the field with Daehwi. “Now let’s go celebrate our win.”

5:23 pm – soccer practice

After practicing for thirty minutes and becoming soaked with sweat, your coach calls the team together. “Okay, let’s do a mini-scrimmage between our team. Jinyoung and y/n are captains.”

After picking your players, you and Jinyoung stood at the opposite sides of the field as the coach blew the whistle. Taking the ball from him, you quickly dribble the ball into Jinyoung’s field before passing it to Seongwoo, who then failed to make a goal. Punting the ball, Jaehwan manages to aim the ball back to Jinyoung.

“Block him!” you yell as you ran after him and managed to steal the ball from him.

In the end, the game resulted in a 1-1 tie. As you were leaving, you find Jinyoung walking next to you. “You played well.” Of course, this was probably the first time he complimented you in a long time.

“Thanks, you did, too, just make sure to angle yourself before kicking,” you advised, expecting him to make a harsh comment at you. Instead, he smiles.

“I know, it’s so hard for me, though. When I get the ball, I just want to get it away from me as fast as possible, you know?” he explains as you two exit the field.

“Well, if you want,” you suggest, regretting immediately, “I could help you? I pretty much spend my weekends here, so…”

His eyes brighten as he smiles, “Really? That’d be great, do you mind if we start next week, you know, before the championships?”

“Sure, I’ll see you next week,” you say as you look for your car.

“Alright! My mom’s here, bye y/n!” he waves goodbye to you as you reciprocate his gesture, wondering why he was suddenly so nice to you.

Entering your car, you see Daehwi sitting in the passenger seat, playing a game on his phone. “You were talking to Jinyoung and you didn’t look like you wanted to rip off his head, what’s up?”

Rolling your eyes, you replaced your slides with sneakers as you reply, “Nothing, you’re so nosy.”

Pouting slightly, Daehwi returns to his game before he speaks up again a few minutes later. “Before you know it, you’ll probably fall for him.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

5:34 pm – jinyoung’s practice

Walking into the fields, you caught sight of Jinyoung seated on an empty bleacher, mindlessly playing with his soccer ball.

“Hey.” He looks up, surprised.

“Hey,” he greets.

Setting down your bag, you finish tying your shoes.  “Ready?”

“Yep.”

After an hour, Jinyoung had successfully learned to angle his kicks, which led to him surprising you with a hug. It was pretty awkward, but what he said afterward was even more awkward.

“So, uh, do you want to go get food with me?” he asks as you two finish packing your bags.

“Sure.” Although it started off bumpy, you and Jinyoung’s blossomed to the point where you two would even have nicknames for each other. However, along the way, you started to catch feelings for him, such as when he would try to make eye contact with you during practices or when he lazily slings an arm around you after practice. Either way, you were smitten, and he was, too.

7:56 pm – championships

After triple checking that your shoes were tied tightly, you headed into the field with your heart beating fast. If you won this, this meant that you would go into the national championships, but if you didn’t, you still had a year left before you graduated.

“Good luck.” You see Jinyoung smiling at you with two thumbs up. You returned it as you two stood in the middle of the field, waiting for the team to get into their positions.

The referee’s whistle sounds as you pass the ball to Jinyoung. He runs towards the defense with you running ahead, open for passing. Next to you, you see Seongwoo on the other side, blocking two other defensive players. Unfortunately, just as the ball was passed to you, an opponent runs in front of you and takes the ball. You shot Jinyoung an apologetic look, in which he waves off and gives you another thumbs up.

“Okay, we’re tied to the other team. I’m going to switch y/n to center defense and Sungwoon to left midfielder, all good?” Nodding, the team gulps down the water and flavored drinks before the referee signals for the third quarter.

“You did a good job,” you say to Jinyoung. Looking up through his sweaty bangs, he smiles slightly.

“Thanks, you too.” Getting into your position, you see the other team putting Kwon Hyunbin, the tall, but muscular midfielder, into the field. Worrying slightly about how you were to beat him, you shook off those feelings as the whistle sounded once again.

Ten minutes later, you see Hyunbin take possession of the ball, quickly running in your direction. Preparing yourself to defend him, you manage to run him close to the sidelines before you feel rough hands push you into the grass.

“Hey!” From the ground, you see Jinyoung take Hyunbin by the collar, threatening to punch him before the coach intervened.

“y/n, are you okay?” Jinyoung runs over to you, laying a hand on your shoulder.

Nodding, you try to stand up before you felt a sharp pain in your ankle. “You’re not okay,” Jinyoung mumbles, before wrapping your arm around his shoulder and helped you walked back to the bleachers.

After a yellow card was pulled on Hyunbin, Jinyoung managed to play tougher than he already did, and scored two more goals. When the whistle sounded for the end of the game, Jinyoung excitedly runs back to you.

“We did it!” Jinyoung exclaims as he pulls you into a tight hug. When he breaks the hug, his eyes flicker on your lips for a brief second before he asks, “Can I?”

As you nod, you feel Jinyoung press a soft kiss on your lips. “I like you, y/n.”

“I like you, too.”

9:35 pm – celebratory dinner

“So, you and Jinyoung are a thing now?” Daehwi asks. Nodding, you bit into your pizza. “What happened to you and him hating each other’s guts?”

“That’s in the past, Daehwi,” you say.

“I’m just saying, just a few weeks ago, you were calling him a ball hog and I wholeheartedly agree and I still do.” When Daehwi sees you barely containing yourself from laughing, he sighs. “He’s behind me, isn’t he?”

“Yep,” you and Jinyoung answer at the same time.

Sighing, Daehwi turns around. “Hey, Jinyoung! You did great tonight.”

“Be quiet, Daehwi,” he chuckles before ruffling the younger’s hair and kissing your cheek.

“Please tell me that I won’t have to witness you two being all lovey-dovey with each other.”

“Oh, this is only the beginning.”

[wannawrite]

Time Will Tell [ pt.1 ]

who?: Wanna One’s Ong Seongwoo genre: 🌺🌸 type: scenario, short series word count: 1.5K, a continuation of short and sweet scenarios :”) part one / ? 

blog navigator. • idol AU, soulmate AU • time speaks, looks like you just need to listen but it also looks like time is running out of things to say to you the angst has arrived, I hope you guys are prepared but for what, lol I’m not a good angst writer so don’t prepare to cry or anything!! It’s still pretty sweet! Thank you for requesting this anon!! I came up with this concept thanks to you! Not sure if anyone else has done this hourglass idea. - Admin L 

The hourglass. All the time spent in the studio, all the song lyrics that littered your notebook and all the songs on your albums were because of the hourglass. Sand seeping through that slim crack between the two holders. The sand seemed like all the chances to meet the one slipping through your fingertips and out to another world. It left your hold faster than you could catch it, not sparing any mercy. Allow me to elaborate. The universe was one full of trickery, especially with this whole soulmate idea. Everyone was gifted with an hourglass that seemed to never run out of the sand, the sand just kept falling and refreshing. It will repeat the cycle until the day you find your soulmate. When you do, time around you will stop for a couple seconds, just for confirmation. That’s when you know. You know your life will be complete. You know that you have found your other half, one who was specially selected for you. You know you will not be doomed to a long life of loneliness. You know that you have not completely lost all sensibility. As an idol, you have probably met everyone in the universe - staff, fellow idols, trainees, MCs, fans - yet the hourglass that had your name scribbled on continued to allow the sand to run. Many of your songs were based on your peculiar hourglass. Somedays it the falling sand fell faster than ever. Other times, you could shake the hourglass until it threatened to shatter without any sand moving an inch. The quickness of the sand usually indicated how far away your soulmate was from you. It appeared that your only lover was the Houdini, he was there but at the same time, he was not. He popped in and out of your life quicker than The Flash. Some days you wondered if your other half even existed. The hourglass hung from a thin gold chain around your neck, it followed you everywhere. You feared losing it in waiting rooms so your necklace never left you. Additionally, if the hourglass was not with you, you could never tell if someone was your soulmate. The only times were when you had to perform on stage but you made sure to store it safely in your personal handbag before preparing to go on stage. It was precious, of course. That tiny time teller dictated your future. A staff directing cameramen clutched onto her hourglass tightly, afraid of letting it slip from her grasp. Lucky her, you thought. Her hourglass is filled to the brim with sand. Not only had she found her soulmate but their relationship was a joyful and prosperous one, according to the amount of sand in the glass case. It usually indicated the owner’s relationship status, what kind of relationship it was and the happiness level of the owner. Again, whatever your hourglass revealed was inconsistent, unreliable. “Y/N, please get ready. It’s almost time to head backstage,” Manager informed, checking off a box on his list. He continued bustling around, making sure things were in check. You nodded, unclasping the necklace from around your neck and holding it in front of you, observing every grain of sand that fell and returned to the top. Every grain represented whatever hope you had left. Your hopes were falling at a rather slow speed today. Gosh, this is harder than the road to becoming a singer. It swung like a pendulum on the chain, entrancing you, trapping you within its thin, glass walls. It hypnotised you into believing he existed, into thinking he was around. Whispering false hope into your ears. He will come soon. He’s just waiting for the perfect moment. Maybe it was your own fault for listening. You shook the fuzzy feeling off, sucking in a deep breath to call yourself out of your thoughts, to bring your mind back to reality. A reality that you forced yourself to accept. One where there was no one destined for you. Where you would live your life in solitude. There was no reason to lose hope so easily but it felt as if all odds were against you. Was there even a purpose behind gifting an hourglass when there was no soulmate? No conclusion could be formed, therefore, you had no answers. You inhaled a shaky breath. One day. After all, someday, it was to happen. There must be a balance, Earth must align. 

Sweat dripped down your face as you stepped off the stage, a huge smile gracing your face. It was always energising to perform on stage, no matter the circumstance. “Y/N, you did well! Would you like to stay to watch the other stages? There is nothing else scheduled for today, plus, we have time,” Manager said. “It’s rare we ever run ahead of schedule. Today must be special.” Staffs escorted you back to your dressing room. On the way, you passed by various rooms of other idols, a few names that rang a bell but some were completely foreign. “Maybe I should go and greet other groups. I am still a rookie after all,” you mentioned. “While I’m still dolled up.” No one held any opposition so you ventured back to the waiting room to collect a couple of your albums. “Y/N!” A staff yelled, clutching something in her hands as she raced towards you. Another staff interrupted her, announcing that a fellow rookie group named Wanna One was on their way to greet you. You shot her an apologetic smile, assuring that you would see to that issue later. She opened her mouth to protest but clamped it shut and nodded. You tried your best to shake off the nerves of meeting another idol group. Oh goodness! I’m not even a senior yet rookies are greeting me? Okay, this must be scheduled, scripted. MNet is behind this, I must be prepared for everything. Or it could just be Jisung and Daniel. Maybe MNet wanted an MMO reunion? Two solid knocks hammered on your door before it swung open to reveal the members of Wanna One, smartly dressed in their performance attire. “Hello!” Automatically, your lips stretched into a wide beam, glad to see friends from MMO - the company you signed with. Your palms began sweating as if someone had pulled a trigger, your heartbeat began racing off the charts. What is happening? What is this feeling? Nerves aren’t like this. Your eyes fell on a particularly tall, handsome, dark-haired man. He seemed to carry an air of poise, comedy even. That made you crack a shy smile directed at him. Seongwoo felt flattered. Of course, he already knew he had good looks and the amount of recognition he received from them, but this was different, your acknowledgement somehow gave him an extra boost of confidence. You posed next to the fellow idols for a proof shot of exchanging albums. “Please listen to mine well! I promise you won’t regret loving MMO talent,” you insisted, giving the Yoon Jisung and Kang Daniel high-fives. Ong Seongwoo chuckled and stepped forward. “I would never doubt your talent, sweetheart.” The redness crept up the back of your neck before you could stop it. This was one of the rare moments you were lost for words, your lips moved but no sound was produced. Meanwhile, Seongwoo had a somewhat smug look on his face. “Oh god, stop that,” Daniel groaned, slapping Seongwoo’s shoulder. “This is why we cannot bring you anywhere.” “Well, all the best for your stage. I’ll be watching!” You encouraged as the boys bid you farewell. Seongwoo’s words still resounded in your mind, the blush tainting your cheeks could not subside. “Y/N!” The same staff called out, a greater sense of urgency in her tone. You heard it before you even saw it. The drumming of sand as it pounded against the glass was faster and louder than usual. Stunned, your eyes enlarged until they were cartoon wide, mouth forming a small letter ‘O’. If your soulmate was that near, why did the sand not stand still? Why did it not began filling up? You wanted to rip your hair out in frustration, taking the hourglass from the director and holding it in your palm. The sand had begun to calm down but you had never witnessed such an urgent cry, such a prominent promise of your other half. Four fingers folded around it, hiding it from your sight. You exhaled a shaky breath. So close yet so far, the questions seemed to bounce off the walls of your brain. Who was it? It had to be one of the eleven. Woojin? Jaehwan? You felt your heart slam against your ribcage, breathing compromised. So far there were two things you were able to comprehend, 1. Your soulmate was just within your reach 2. You reacted so positively to Seongwoo, as if it was meant to be. Am I falling for someone who can never be mine? The sand in hourglass was shaken vigorously, desperate for more answers but the talk time had already passed and you were left with silence.

[thesevenseraphs]

Bungie Weekly Update - 8/31/17

This week at Bungie, we’re about to launch!

Destiny 2 is almost here. This will be our last weekly transmission before you get to play the full game in all its glory. There has been so much said about this new adventure on the road to launch, but we’ve still seen many of you asking if there would be a live action trailer. Today, it arrived. 

We have a lot of information for you today. Tomorrow, we head off to PAX for a full weekend of Destiny 2 awesomeness. Next week is the main event.

If you are at PAX, you can play Destiny 2, you can sit in for any of our panels, or you can score a ton of loot at the Bungie store. If you can’t make it out to PAX, don’t fret, all of these items will also be available online in the Bungie Store. We’ll let you know via the official Bungie Twitter account when the new inventory is available for purchase.

The Beta and the Omega This morning, the Destiny 2 PC Beta closed up shop. As far as tests go, it feels like a huge success. We learned a lot from watching you play and reading your feedback online. Thanks go out to everyone who joined us from whatever PC you were able to use to run the Beta. We’ve gotten a lot of great insights from the PC community and we’ll continue fine-tuning the game before the final release on October 24. We can’t wait to see you back again for the full Destiny 2 experience. Thank you so much for playing!

End Game

After launch, there will be a few rituals and firsts that you might want to plan for as you ascend to orbit around the Destiny Endgame. Some of these activities will be ready and waiting as soon as you play your way through to them. Others will go live shortly thereafter, giving you and your teammates time to prepare to get geared up and ready to go.

Here are a few of the dates you should mark in your calendar.

Nightfall: Ready when you are

Raid: 10 AM PT, September 13

Trials: 10 AM PT, September 15

If you have witnessed the race to become the first to topple the final boss, you know we keep Raid info well under wraps. These are your moments to discover – your mysteries to solve. We’ve given you the when. You will soon discover the who, the what, and the where. Together, as a team, you might even discover the how.

We’ll be watching!

Guided Games

Guided Games is a new feature coming to Destiny 2 that will help solo players link up with Clans to tackle the most profound challenges in the game as a Fireteam.

For Guided Games to have a successful launch, we need time for enough players to form into real Clans and be ready to guide other Guardians. If there are too many solo Seekers and not enough Clan Guides, the queues for matching will be quite long. Therefore, we’re going to roll out Guided Games as a limited-access ‘soft beta’, where only a select number of solo players will be able to use Guided Games for the Nightfall on 9/12. This will allow us to slowly ramp up players over the course of September (and allow Clan populations to grow) so that everyone has a great experience.

During the Guided Games Beta period, we need your Clans to fully test the system at scale. All Clans will be able to guide solo players, so once you’ve mastered the Nightfall, Fireteam up and guide solo players to the highest heights.  You may meet some new friends along the way.

30-50% of players will be given seeker access, depending on clan participation in Destiny 2 during the first week.

Target: 100% of players will be given seeker access.

Go Grab Some Big Guns

If you are veteran of Destiny 1, you’re probably familiar with the pre-decryption shuffle. This is where you equipped all of your highest Light gear before you brought your Engrams to the Cryptarch so you would maximize your gains.

In the past, this was a little cumbersome at times, and a huge bummer if you forgot a piece. In Destiny 2, you will suffer those woes no longer.

Now the game will automatically determine your power potential and give you the reward you deserve without making you dig through all of your Armor and Weapons to equip your best stuff. We recently cornered Investment Designer Daniel Auchenpaugh and compelled him to make some rare promises about character progression.

Tell us about this new system. When do rewards determine their power, and how is it determined?

Daniel: Rewards determine their power at the time they're earned. This means that, when an engram drops in Destiny 2, it decides its power at the time it drops. Also, when we roll rewards, we look at your character's level and your best possible gear to determine the power of the reward. This is true for Crucible end-of-match rewards, Engram drops, Strike rewards, etc. Note that some sources can still produce better gear than others; once you're exploring endgame content look for the "Powerful Gear" rewards in tooltips if you're hunting the best drops.

What gear do you use to determine a players best equipment?

Daniel: When we say "best possible gear," we look at what the best scenario is for your character across your account. This means that, if you are playing on your Hunter (like you should), we might use the Helmet you accidentally left in the vault, the Boots you just picked up but haven't equipped, and the Auto Rifle that you forgot to transfer from your Warlock. Gear on other characters, in the vault, in your inventory, or currently equipped are all compared to find the best loadout you could have.

That’s convenient! What if I have a level 20 Hunter and make a new Hunter so I can have 3 Hunters? Will all my drops be level 20 gear on the new Hunter? What if I've got a ton of Exotics?

Daniel: Nope! The system is smart enough to look at level requirements and make sure it ignores anything that is too high for the current character to equip. It also obeys equipping restrictions, so it understands that you can only equip one Exotic weapon and one piece of exotic armor and figures that in.

Okay, what about the contents of Engrams we haven’t decrypted yet? Are they included when you calculate my best possible equipment?

Daniel: While Engrams do set their power at the time they drop, they don't roll what they contain until the moment you decrypt them. As a result, best possible equipment can't use their contents in its calculations.

If Engrams set their power at the moment they drop, how am I supposed to know which ones have the best gear?

Daniel: Destiny 2's Engrams are pretty cool, because they'll tell you right on the tooltip what the power they dropped at is. This is the minimum power that will come out of the engram.

You’ll understand more about how a new legend will rise in the form of your first Destiny 2 character when you play. Before that journey begins, we wanted to share just one of the quality of life improvements that we’re excited about. We hope you find that Destiny 2 is a far more rewarding game than its predecessor

The Rolling Red Carpet Very Frequently Asked Question: “What is the exact time I can dive into Destiny 2?” The answer is dependent on where you live. Destiny 2 will have a rolling midnight release across the globe. You will be able to play the game as soon as it is 12 AM, September 6, anywhere in your country or in some cases region. In the US, for example, that means the entire country is live when the clock strikes midnight Eastern. It’s going to be a busy night. If you plan to go hard right out of the gate, get some sleep, remember to stretch, and be wary of spoilers if you’re looking to go in blind. Stay close to @BungieHelp for updates as the night unfolds. We’ll be staying up with you to make sure you’re kept informed of any important information you may need.

Preparing to Launch

The Destiny Operation Center provides 24 hour coverage 365 days a year. They are constantly monitoring the live game and the Destiny Player Support team will also be supporting the launch of Destiny 2 with 24 hour coverage for the first week. Before liftoff, they have some vital information to help you reach Orbit. This is their report:

Destiny 2 Digital Pre-Load: PlayStation 4 Starting August 31, players who have digitally pre-ordered Destiny 2 may begin pre-loading. For steps on how to install Destiny 2 to a PlayStation 4 console, please see this Help Article.Downloads will first become available in the US. European, Asian, and Japanese regions should become available soon. Stay tuned to @BungieHelp for announcements of availability.

Account Security: How to keep your personal information and Destiny Account Safe Account security and best-practices are the most effective ways to ensure the protection of personal information, your Guardians, and their items. Below are some helpful hints to reduce any risk of them falling into the wrong hands:

Real Name Security: If a player wishes to prohibit others from seeing real names within Destiny 2, there are specific settings that must be checked:

PlayStation: If a player has accepted or sent a real-name friend request, this will grant permissions for real names to appear within Destiny 2. It is possible for Close Friends to record and share gameplay containing your information. If a player wishes to share a real-name but prohibit it from appearing within Destiny 2, they must follow these steps: 

Navigate to Settings

Select “PlayStation Network/Account Management”

Select “Privacy Settings”

Select “Protecting your Information”

Select “Games

”Select “No One”

Xbox: If a player wishes to hide their real name, they may do so by following steps here: Real name sharing on Xbox One.

Blizzard: If a player wishes to hide their Real ID, they may do so by following the steps listed within this Battle.net RealID FAQ. Some features in D2 use Real Names differently than D1. Please consider your Real Name settings on your platform of choice, especially if you have extensive friends lists or play with players who stream publicly. 

Destiny Account Security: Bungie.net accounts rely on PlayStation Network, Xbox Live and Battle.net credentials. To ensure account security, we advise the following best practices:

Do not share account details with anyone. Bungie employees will NEVER ask for this information.

Use a different password, and account security questions, for each credential.

Ensure that any E-mail account tied to these credentials uses an alternate password as well.

Update passwords frequently.

For steps on updating credential passwords or increasing security, follow these links:

PlayStation Network

Xbox Live (Microsoft) Account

Blizzard Account Security

If a console is shared with multiple family members or friends, players may want to consider 2-step authentication or passkeys for access to an account.

2-Step Verification for PlayStation

Setting up a PassKey for Xbox One

Blizzard Authenticator

Destiny Companion Update and Known Issues Last week, Bungie.net and the Destiny Companion App received updates in preparation for Destiny 2. Players may now join or create Destiny 2 Clans, edit Clan Banners, create Clan text chat channels, and more. The Destiny 2 Clans Guide will be updated alongside the release of Destiny 2 to include information concerning in-game Clan features.The following is a list of known issues impacting Bungie.net and the Destiny Companion App after the most recent updates:

Clans:

Clan Membership is not currently displaying on public profiles.

During Clan creation, it is not properly defined to players why failures may occur. Ex: If Illegal Characters are present within culture fields, this is not explained to the player.

Some admins cannot see their Clan settings page.

Groups:

Players are unable to interact with the “Request Join” button on Group pages.

Group admins cannot currently kick, demote, or promote players properly.

Misc:

Sorting by “Upvoted” is not functioning properly. Alternate forum sort settings are available at this time.

Players are receiving false notification alerts when no new messages or notifications have been received.

Group wall messages will present a notification on the Clan Chat icon.

When leaving a conversation, it is not properly removed from the conversation list.

Opening a video on iOS does not function properly.

Destiny 2 Launch: Avenues for Support

If players experience any issues within Destiny 2 at launch, support will be available through the following means:

Help.Bungie.net: All Bungie published Help Articles, Contact Forms, and Support Documentation.

@BungieHelp: Broad communications from the Destiny Operations Center and Destiny Player Support teams concerning service stability and known issues.

#Help Forum: Where players may go to report issues impacting gameplay, progression, or general features.

Destiny Support teams and Community Mentors are at the ready to assist. We’ll see you at launch.