#I wish more people understood this

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Mrs Speechie P

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Literally me….

Seriously why is asking to clarify a question insulting? Do others think we’re stupid or something?

All I want is detailed information so I can get things right. Is that so rude or insulting?

[lleclercism]

franco almost missed out on the rest of the weekend cause he accidentally cut his ear while training his neck, they wanted to stitch his ear 5 minutes before fp1 and he was like “are you crazy?” so he ran fp1 and then bc of his crash he had to go the medical center and when he took out his balaclava he had so much blood the doctors were like “noo! unsafe to drive” and then he had to explain to them what happened so they’d let him drive after that 😭

[angelofanimation]

“why does heinz have an accent but roger doesn’t” oh i don’t know maybe it’s because roger has a career that requires he always be surrounded by people and therefore picked up the native parlance over the years it takes to rise to the rank of mayor, and heinz is an introverted wreck of a man (affectionate) whose only consistent coworker doesn’t talk

[the-crooked-library]

I noticed something near the end of Dracula when Jonathan and Mina separate for a final time (so she can go to Dracula's castle), that a difference between Harker and Hutter is also near the end.

For context, several chapters earlier Jonathan gets two weapons “put these flowers round your neck”—here he handed to me a wreath of withered garlic blossoms—“for other enemies more mundane, this revolver and this knife;.

Then when Mina and Van Helsing are about to depart for their ride to the castle, Jonathan keeps the knife and gives the revolver to Mina. Even for me a large-bore revolver; Jonathan would not be happy unless I was armed like the rest.

I know the phallic analysis of the weapons in the book are overstated in scholarship but I think it's telling that Jonathan insists Mina to be armed with a big gun while he lets her go do what she wants without him. Thomas didn't arm her and likely wouldn't even it were suggested imo.

omg yes! That is definitely another detail that really stood out to me during my watch, and yet another reason I genuinely start getting annoyed whenever people conflate Thomas with Jonathan - because frankly, that is allowing Thomas to reap what Jonathan sowed, so to speak. I've seen a lot of people absolutely in love with him, and yet the traits they list as the reasons are none that he possesses; in fact, the great majority of them are in exact opposition to his canon personality, and this is one of them.

Don't get me wrong, I love Thomas as a character. I think he is quite sympathetic - and, on the Watsonian level, really trying his best; but at the same time, I think it is essential to acknowledge that he is deeply flawed, if only because on the Doylist level, these flaws are fundamental to his arc in the story. It is purely a question of structure and function; because, at the end of the day, he is a fictional character, and thus, a narrative component, rather than a person.

In this case, his choices prior to the vampire hunt provide the viewer with further evidence -> of an aspect of his characterization -> that acts as one of the driving forces behind the plot of Nosferatu. Specifically, he does not notice that Ellen is lying to him; he leaves her at home as he goes off to "fight"; he doesn't even consider arming her; and he does all these things because, even though he does care for Ellen, he never really thinks of her as a person.

Thomas doesn't notice that Ellen is lying, even though she is clearly nervous when she does it, because he doesn't know what she looks like when she's hiding something (I personally think it is because she masks around him, at least to some degree - throughout the film, he is uncomfortable every time she's honest). He doesn't bring her to the hunt because it doesn't occur to him that she could help with tracking down Orlok - despite him being aware now of her immense psychic abilities, despite Von Franz describing her as a native in a world he is only visiting. And, exactly as you said, he doesn't even think to leave her a weapon; because, even as he sets out on his "quest," even after she's told him of Orlok's obsession, even though the point of the hunt is apparently to "save" her, he doesn't consider the possibility of Orlok going after her.

Contrast that with Jonathan - who knows Mina so well that they can get concerned over three lines of writing, who works with Mina's brief psychic connection to Dracula in order to track him, and who arms Mina before the final fight, because he is not satisfied unless he can do everything in his power to ensure her safety. When it comes to their relationship, Mina's revolver, while not exactly phallic (seriously, why is that topic so overwrought?..), becomes a narrative symbol of his thoughtfulness.

The difference here is that, while Ellen is important to Thomas, this importance only extends insofar as she is his wife. He sees her as a responsibility, but never as herself; and, ultimately, he never actually considers her a factor that could conceivably affect his - or anyone's - decision-making. He plans their life without even asking what she wants from it, he neglects her emotional needs, and he leaves her like a sitting duck during the hunt, without a weapon or anyone to guard her. She continuously slips his mind, utterly inconsequential beyond whatever their surrounding society defines as her role and value; and Thomas, tragically, is unable to overcome this ingrained, rigid set of rules.

This is an essential aspect of his character - because, as stated previously, the plot wouldn't happen without it. If Thomas took Ellen's wants into consideration, he wouldn't have been so hell-bent on chasing a promotion, and he wouldn't have left her right after their honeymoon to go to another country, especially if she begged him to stay. If he knew her better, he would've picked up on the plan she made with Von Franz - or she would've told him!.. Most certainly, if he saw any real personhood in her, he wouldn't have dreamed of leaving her unarmed and undefended.

Nosferatu is about Ellen's continued systemic dehumanization. The point of the story is that every single human character contributes to it on some level, despite whatever love and best intentions they might have for her. It's about the inherent monstrousness of being othered by humanity, and Thomas is - inherently, narratively, crucially - human.

[hypokeimena]

join us in the fountain pen movement!!! refillable pens for life!!!

i use gel pens (mostly zebra sarasas) because gel pens play nice on a wider variety of papers, are waterproof, do not leak, are available in a range of colors, do not smudge or feather, and are much more accessible in terms of cost. incidentally, they are also refillable.

[thecreativecorner33]

He's Trapped Inside My Head

This voice that cannot speak He screams inside my head Reminds me of my worth and how It'd be better if I was dead

He pulls at all the pain I bear Runs razors along my scars Touches me in all the ways That I've been touched so far

But not just that, he blinds me with The hate he holds for me Says he'll make me spill the secrets That I've been sure to keep

A tug of wires is all it takes And soon they're pouring out All these fears and worries; They come running down my mouth

"YOU HATE ME! YOU HATE ME! YOU'RE ALL OUT TO GET ME! YOU'VE MADE THAT CRYSTAL CLEAR! IT'S NOT MY FAULT-! I'M NOT CRAZY! DON'T YOU DARE COME NEAR!"

My voice, it cracks, it hurts to yell At those who might have cared But even worse, it hurts to see Them all just standing there

And now I wonder if they laugh When I cry wolf at the sight Of a monster hidden in the shadows Crawling through the night

They claim they don't, but who am I To trust in what they say? I know it's them who's crazy and It's me who is still sane

That's what this voice reminds me of When I try to make amends "They will never be honest with you; It's me who is your friend."

I know he lies, this voice of mine, And yet I listen well He laughs at my obedience And wishes me to hell

I'm tired of this song and dance I wish that I could rest But this voice that spews his hate at me He's trapped inside my head.

A/N: Sooo. It's like 12:30 at night and I was thinking really hard about Ted tonight. More specifically... All the ways that I relate to him and his struggles through the story. AM talks so much in his head, broke him down to make him believe him, in the same vain that my stupid brain talks to me and makes me believe things that aren't true. I guess this is to say, I wrote this poem to be about Ted talking about AM, but also me talking about my own AM. He's inside my head and he tortures me the same way he tortures Ted. And it's so exhausting when he finally leaves me alone and I have clarity once more. It doesn't happen often anymore, or when it does, I manage to not act on what he tells me. But it still hurts. If you relate to Ted, or relate to this poem. I see you. I hear you. I rknow you're not your thoughts. And it will get better one day. It got better for me, so I believe it can for you. I hope one day that it can.

[rosekasa]

there is something so. intensely frustrating about feeling incapable of showing up for people the way that they want you to

[valewritessss]

Movies, shows, and books really made it clear how society picks sides when there’s a problem.

Ginny and Georgia where BOTH of those two characters are misunderstood and traumatized but people only think Team Georgia or Team Ginny(not so many of those).

Bridgerton when Penelope and Eloise had their conflict. I thought it was common sense that they are both understandable?? But then I open up TikTok and everyone’s hating on one or the other.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians during the Rachel vs Annabeth discourse when neither of them did anything wrong.

Even the Inside Out movie where the whole point is that Sadness is needed for Joy to be felt and people are out here just hating Sadness or hating Joy. Little kid me was like did you guys watch the movie with your eyes closed or???

Amy and Jo both being two sides of the same coin but people had to make it a debate whether Amy or Jo is right? That one actually makes me so mad Amy deserves so much better than the hate she got for being a kid.

As a little kid I was so confused on why everyone picked sides for everything and now when I’m older I’m just as confused but now I understand how much people think in black and white.

[triptychofvoids]

hey doc, do you have any fun facts about doves that you'd be willing to share?

not so much a Fun Fact, but i frequently see people misunderstanding dove mating behaviors. when a dove is rapidly flicking/twitching its wings that is a mating behavior. i see a lot of dove owners interpret this body language as merely being happy and then continuing to over pet and misunderstand their birds. granted, doves rarely (if ever) exhibit aggressive or harmful behaviors because of sexual frustration like parrots might for example, but it is sometimes upsetting to see people interpret a doves sexual excitement as nothing more than 'im happy please pet me' instead of what it actually is... and then spread that misinformation around. if there is one thing i would love, it would be for people to research dove body language and behaviors! i think they are very good to know and i wish more people knew about them!

[razmerry]

under the hood (2005) / urban legends (2021)

[hexesandroses]

It never occurred to me how misunderstood Dottore is until I started analyzing him myself. Discovering that people hate Dottore because of some severe misunderstandings was actually just sad. Though it's even worse because the Sumeru archon quests told us pretty much everything we need to know about him and yet people can't look past the "he experimented on people!!" part.

[sinnettini]

i came out as nonbinary to my therapist and it feels good 😭😭

[uncanny-tranny]

I think we can absolutely criticize how gender dysphoria is viewed and defined, but sometimes, I think people can swing too far in the other direction to say that gender dysphoria doesn't exist at all, or that anybody who claims to have gender dysphoria simply have internalized transphobia. I really don't think this is helpful to trans people who are dysphoric, and it really puts us in a shameful position wherein our feelings are deemed proof of being problematic or transphobic.

I absolutely don't think dysphoria is required whatsoever to be trans - I hope my blog has made this position clear. I just hate the way dysphoria is understood by cis doctors and medical professionals, who typically do not talk to or try to understand their dysphoric patients. I don't think the solution is to blame dysphoric trans people, though (or non-dysphoric trans people!). We didn't ask for the state of transphobic healthcare. We need to put the blame where it lies - with biased professionals who don't want to accurately understand dysphoria and how it can overlap with trans identity and the transphobic society many of us live in.

[stephaniedola]

every time i start to think things might be looking up with my dad some bullshit happens that makes the guilt kick right back in again

[stalkiwi]

All my friends are laughing at something, happy about it, joyous. I remain neutral, merely observing the scene.

"Why are you not happy?" one turns to me, noticing my expression.

Because I don't get it, I reply.

"You just don't care about us."

I may not get it, I understand that it's making you happy. And it's what matters - I'm glad to know my friends are happy - I explain.

"You don't show it - you're lying." they blame me.

I struggle to show it. But it doesn't mean that I do not care - I simply cannot express it.

"You're always acting like that around us. Just tell us if you don't like being with us." they growl.

But I don't understand. I am myself around my friends. Isn't it a proof that I am comfortable to be with them?

"You're always silent, you act different, you make no efforts for us, you're not polite, you don't dress well, you don't smile - you really look like we're bothering you."

Should I be someone I am not? Am I being appreciated for who I am? Or for who I am expected to be?

"Don't you know social codes?"

Social codes make no sense to me. No matter how much I am being explained them. I ask nothing to anyone, I expect nothing about anyone, but to be respected, and I respect them in return.

"Respect is about making an effort to be agreeable around us."

To me, respect is to understand everyone is different, and to accept it - to not force them to step out of their comfort for you. That someone refuses to dress in an elegant way or to spray perfume when they visit me is not a message to tell me that they do not like me. It means nothing, in fact, to me.

"Don't you see you're making our lives worse? You're disgusting, you're needy, you're unpleasant."

Then why staying with me? If I am ruining your life by simply existing, then you should not be around me - it's what I say.

"But we care about you!"

I appreciate, but the "me" you care about is not who I am. I'm sorry.